Stuck in a World of Fiction- Original Version
by TREBOR117
Summary: Instead of starting a new game, I end up living it. Now,stuck in a world meant to be fiction, I must use my knowledge to save this universe. OC/Ashley, Femshep/Liara. Rated T for language. (This is the original, less polished version, left up for e completed reboot is the version I recommend reading.)
1. The Begining

**The way this story came about: I was reading someone else's SI story where I saw a golden point for them to use the information that Shepard didn't have. Shepard hadn't investigated earlier, but I knew exactly what could have been said. That guy didn't say it. But I will. **

**This is a slightly rewritten version, to remove the "amateur vibe" I had before. I got tired of mentally facepalming when I re-read past chapters. **

**Disclaimer no one bothers reading: I don't own this blah blah blah Bioware does.**

_Come one, Come one. Arghh, why do they make these credits take so freaking long? _ Still, much as I might complain, I still thought that Mass Effect was the coolest series ever. I had been playing the third game every chance I got, and completed it with every Shepard I had made, multiple times. It was too good not to play it again, but I wanted to make new versions of Shepard to use.

I had just completed the first game with a renegade biotic named Iron. Now, I planned to play as a Female paragon soldier. Not something I had done before, as I usually played one of the tech classes for fem-shep. It usually just seemed to fit better. Usually, I had done a warhero- spacer for my paragons, but I decided to go colonist-sole survivor this time around.

The appearance was harder to choose, but I kept it pretty much the same each play through. Shoulder length black hair, purple eyes, lighter skin than default, and I gave her a scar near her eye and on her chin. Other than that, I kept her about the default._ Too bad nobody asks about the scars in this game. Looks like they could come from Akuze and would be interesting to have that option_ I mused. I decided to name her Raptor Shepard; I never had liked using normal names for my characters in RPGs. I had named other Shepards Shade, Shock, Omega, even a Hero Shepard.

**Boom! **

I jumped a foot in the air. _Damn Lightning!_ I decided I better save and turn off the game with the storm. Once I landed on Eden Prime I saved and went to turn off the console.

There was a blinding flash as I reached it. The world spun around me. I felt like I was being stretched and compressed simultaneously. It stopped as suddenly as it ended.

"Move!" I heard a female voice say. I did a double, no a triple take. Where the X-box had been was some sort of rifle. The arm reaching for it, and I realized the rest of me, was covered in black and white armor. There was a flash of blue by my right eye and I instinctively rolled forward towards the Rifle and behind a rock. I looked at the rifle and it was like I had been punched in the gut. It looked like a Avenger Assault Rifle, like Iron had when I finished the game only 20 minutes earlier. I realized the armor mirrored The black and white Scorpion Armor he'd had been wearing. A bar on a heads up display over the landscape showed a three blue, and two now empty, bars next to a long red bar. _What in the hell?_

"Are you going to keep looking at that gun or are you going to use it?" Trying not to focus on the voice, and who it might be I poked my head around my cover and saw Flashlight headed robots before ducking back.  
>"Are those Geth?" I asked myself aloud, wondering if I was going crazy.<p>

I heard the voice again, in an earpiece I realized "No idea, But they sure as hell aren't friendlies". I didn't know what I was doing or why I was doing it but I looked around my cover I saw the creatures overlapped with a red marker. I didn't realize it for a second but both the IFF tags and the Shield bars were being projected on to my eye. I didn't know what I was doing, only what it caused. I clenched my fist and my arm glowed with Blue Energy. I threw it towards the Geth, if that's what it was, and It flew back into a rock face behind it. It slumped to the ground and lay still.

Before I even really registered this, I had already raised the gun and took aim at another one, taking it down. _I've never fired a gun outside a range, and now I'm a crack shot? _Part of me wanted to stop and figure things out, but another part of me knew that these things were a major threat.

I took aim at another one, hoping whatever bizzare luck I was having would continue, only to see its head explode. _What the hell? I didn't even touch the trigger!  
><em>I heard a shot behind me as another one of them fell. I looked back and saw two armored figures. One of them raised his arm, glowing blue like mine had, and I heard one of the hostiles go flying. He wasn't what caught my attention though. Next to him, with the sniper rifle clearly responsible for taking out the target I had been aiming for was woman in black armor, a red stripe on her arm, N7 on her chest, and a face I recognized instantly. I had created it only minutes before.

"Commander Shepard? Ashley Williams of the 212" _Wait, if that's Ashley, and that's Shepard, which means the other guy must be Kaiden… I'm in Mass Effect!_

I had a lot of things go through my mind, from shock to disbelief to having a sudden desire to laugh hysterically like Heith Ledger in the Dark Knight. But what it really boiled down to...

_What the Hell just happened to me?_


	2. Eden Prime

**A/N Once again, reviews would be appreciated. If the last chapter didn't make it clear, if you know nothing about Mass Effect, you will be completely lost. If there is anyone interested in being a beta reader, please let me know in a review.**

**And once again, Because it's required Bioware owns all of this. The character that's mine is me, Renamed, for the sake of remaining anonymous. **

_This cannot be happening!_ I Thought as I watched Commander Raptor Shepard and Kaiden Alenko question Ashley Williams about the Geth attack.

_Hold on_, I thought _Think this through. What do you know?_

_1. Somehow, You're in Mass Effect. 2. With the Characters from Mass Effect._ Part of me unsurprisingly ended up imagining a padded room. I thought about it for a sec and dismissed it. Generally when people went insane, they confused hallucinations and reality. I was aware of where I was and what was going on, including that this place was supposed to be fictional. I then realized facts 3 and 4

_3. You can handle weapon on your back except the sniper rifle, and 4. You biotically threw that Geth!_

_Somehow, by whatever weird way you ended up here, you've got all the powers, abilities, knowledge and equipment that Iron Shepard had when you finished the game earlier._

"What about you?" Shepard asked me. I realized I had figured all this out in mere seconds, but didn't know how I should respond. I had to buy myself time.

"I'm all right commander; I'm just surprised to see you" In reality, my mind was racing faster than I thought possible. _You can't tell them the truth_ that went without saying. Y_ou can't tell them your real name, and if you tell them your alliance or spectre they'll know you're lying in an instant_ I made a decision.

"My name's Jason Bourne. I was a mercenary working to train a militia" It was a risk saying I was a mercenary, but I couldn't think of another option. _Jason Bourne? Really? You couldn't have picked a name not from a movie? Whatever, I just need to keep going. Stall for time._ "It wasn't well known about." That might keep them from asking questions, but only if I gave them a good reason._ Come on, think. Got it._ "I picked a hell of a time to show up". _That should work for now. _

I didn't know how I knew what to say, but I knew it would convince Shepard. I had created and planned her character and she would be willing to accept this for now and investigate later. If there was a later. _I still have no idea how I know that though._

I was worried Ashley would be suspicious but it was actually Kaiden who asked the question I was worried about. "That equipment looks alliance, how did you get a hold of it?" Luckily Shepard did what I was hoping she would.

"We can figure out where it's from later. Right now we need to get the spaceport and find Nihlus. That means getting past these Geth, and we could use the help"  
>"Who?" I asked feigning ignorance.<p>

"Turian spectre" Kaiden replied. "Carrying enough power to wipe out an entire squad" _That certainly describes him._

"I think I saw a Turian at the spaceport when my ship crashed but I couldn't be sure." _Saren probably is there, so it might even fit into the timeline correctly._ "It was a while ago though so I doubt it was him." _Still, no sense taking chances and predicting everything before it happens. _

Shepard took the lead "Let's get moving" She said, reading her Assault Rifle. I smirked and readied my own. "Ready when you are." I said. Shepard just rolled her eyes and motioned us to follow.

We proceeded in silence until we got to the research site and were attacked by husks. "Switch to Shotguns" Shepard and I yelled at the same time. Ashley complied and Kaiden opened fire with his biotics and his pistol. I thought I knew why Shepard and I had spoken at once. I had said out of some instinct, the same instinct I used to hurl a singularity at the Husks, and then shoot them while they were helpless. My shotgun, which I had switched for in seconds, tore right through them.

"What the heck were those things?" Shepard muttered as she went to hack the door to the scientist's train car. I stood pretending to stare at the husk corpses but in reality looking at the spot I had put a singularity. _Ok, they say you should never panic, but now might not be such a bad time to consider it. _

_Iron Sheppard was a vanguard, with the bonus training for an assault rifle. Only Adepts and Liara were supposed to be able to create singularities. Somehow, It wasn't only been Iron Shepard I gained abilities from. Still, that might actually be a good thing, seeing as Iron was a psychopath. Most of my other biotic characters were paragon._

"Damn it!" I heard Shepard say and turned to look. She had failed to hack the door. _Sorry about that, you aren't a tech expert this time Shepard._ I looked again, then almost did a double take. _Good thing I apparently have Iron-or whoever's-poker face. _ It was the shack the farmers should have been hiding in. I had followed on Auto pilot. I hadn't even seen sovereign take off, though it seems they had just thought me speechless, seeing as they hadn't questioned it. _I got lucky this time, but next time I might not be._ The realization shook me to the core. I realized I had to focus on fighting and wait until later to sort all this out. _I doubt I can just reload if I get killed here. Huh, even better reason to not just be Iron. His combat style was almost suicidal._

**Boom!**

I turned towards the sound. _That must have been the shot that killed Nihlus. Damn it, why didn't I say something? Oh yeah, I'd have been put in the looney bin and he'd have died any way. _"That pistol must have been modded" Shepard said "And it came from the spaceport" She continued. Shepard looked at the door.

"Forget this; let's head down to the space port." She said taking the lead again. The three of us followed in silence. I because I was lost in thought, the marines…. _Whoa, don't go down that line of thought. You're already potentially crazy. Don't add to that fire. _

We fought past the enemies, Shepard and Ashley taking out the geth from a distance with their sniper rifles, Alenko and I getting closer and taking out the Husk's with our Biotics and my shotgun.

"Looks like that's all of them but let's switch to assault rifles so we're more balanced in case there's more" I said to Ash and Shepard. Ashley switched in silence while Shepard did the same, fixing me with an odd look. I decided to keep the talking to a minimum and waited for Sheppard to take the lead. _She's in charge, not me. I definitely need to watch what I say and do._

We got down there and saw what I expected. "Shepard? It's Nihlus" Kaiden said.

He and Shepard went to look while Ashley and I stayed close, but away from the body; Ashley because she hadn't known the Turian. _Not to mention_ I Thought, _she doesn't like aliens that much._

I forced myself to stay back not wanting my curiosity to get the better of me. Acting like I had never seen an alien before would blow my cover for sure. _Ashley's already keeping an eye on me when she thinks I'm not looking._

I mean, sure it was true but I didn't want them to know that. I still got a good look though. His face was more textured than in the game, covered in small scales.

There was a sudden rustling behind the crates. The other three drew their guns and pointed them towards the sound. "Get out here! Now!" Shepard said. I hadn't bothered to worry, knowing it was just the dockworker.

"Your sneaking around nearly got you killed" Shepard said lowering her gun and motioning for the others to do the same. I was barely paying attention, normally I skipped past this conversation but that clearly wasn't an option here. My unearned skills from Iron were still taking in every detail. "I, I gotta get out of here" I heard him say. I realized something and decided to act. "Wait just one second" I said.

He looked at me and I pressed on "How about you give us those grenades and high explosive upgrades you're smuggling first? Then you can go."

He looked at me, his face draining of color. "How did you know I was smuggling that stuff?" _Because I've talked to your buddies in enough other playthroughs_ "I didn't. You just told me" I said out loud, a hint of smugness in my tone.

Shepard starting convincing them to hand them over and I let her, knowing that she would have enough charm to do it. Ashley turned to me once he had crawled off. "How did you know that Bourne?" She asked with her voice filled with a mix of surprise, admiration and distrust. I shrugged. "I've been doing this a while. I've picked the gift of knowing when people are lying by this point." I said with a small grin, trying to fight back hysterical laughter from my tongue-in-cheek-joke they couldn't know about it. Or as I reflected on my chosen name, two tongue in-cheek-jokes. _Still, too late to change the name now. Besides, it sounds kind of cool. _

Between my Biotics, Ashley's Assault Rifle, and Shepard's expert sniping, We cleared the Geth and got on the train. Shepard still held her Sniper Rifle at the ready though. _Huh, guess old habits die hard. Infiltrator or not, she still apparently favors Sniping. Makes sense, that's how I would have played, so I guess Shepard is an exact copy of how I'd imagine her to be? That must be why she actually was willing to except my story for the time being._

"You think his story was true?" Kaiden asked "About that Saren guy?"

_More than you know_ I Thought. "It didn't seem like he was lying" I said. "I think that is what happened."

"Why would a Turian kill a Turian?" Ashley asked, her arms crossed, voice full of skepticism.

"I don't know, why did humans spend so many years slaughtering each other back on earth?" _That shut her up. _It also pretty much killed the conversation until we got to the spaceport. Shepard was looking at me out of the corner of her eye, when she thought I wasn't looking, apparently trying to get a read on me. I was now taking in every detail without even thinking about it. Ashley, for her part, looked like she was keeping an eye on me. She seemed like she trusted me not to shoot her, but not much farther than that.

"Demolition charges!" Alenko shouted, snapping me back to reality. I felt Iron's battle field instincts take over. "Alenko, you disarm them, we'll cover your back!" I shouted as I drew my assault rifle. I wasn't his commanding officer, but I had also gained the same fire that Iron had, the fire that Miranda Lawson would in the future say "That fire that makes someone willing to follow you into hell itself". Alenko went to disarm the first while I sighted down my rifle. At this range a sniper rifle like Sheppard was using would be effective, but I knew I wouldn't be able to use it. We methodically wiped out the geth and moved across the platform.

**A/N Yes, I know that's a slight cop out on the battle, but this chapter is getting long. I'll start the next chapter with it. **

**Next Chapter: The Prothean Beacon.**


	3. The Prothean Beacon

**Bioware owns this I don't yada yada yada….**

**I decided to describe the battle in more detail so here it is, from Raptor Shepard's POV**

**Didn't see that coming did you? OK enough rambling…**

"One more down" Shepard heard Williams yell. The Geth were returning fire faster than Shepard would have thought possible.

_They must have found a way to reduce overheating somehow" Shepard_ thought. She and Ashley had to watch their rates of fire, or their weapons would overheat and become useless. The Sniper Rifles they were using could barely get off two shots before it had to vent and cool down. They had to alternate shots to circumvent this.

Their new ally, however, had no such problems. The merc- Bourne he had said his name was- was destroying the geth using short burst of Assault Rifle fire and Various Biotic attacks. _He's better than most Biotics_ she thought as she watched him pull several geth off the platform to their deaths.

"Three down, one to go" Kaiden said. Shepard had been surprised when Bourne had recognized his tech skills and told him to disarm the charges. It made sense though. Kaiden relied more on his skills as a vanguard than firearms skill. He wouldn't be able to take down near as many geth as the three of them were. They fell back down the walkway covering Kaiden as he went to disarm the last explosive charge.

Shepard and Ashley ducked behind a crate for cover, switching weapons as they did so, while Bourne did the same up ahead. Or least she thought that's what he was doing as once he was behind the crate he stored his assault rifle on his back. Turning to face the crate, he glowed with the tell tale sign of biotic abilities. He thrust him arms forward palms out, and the crate went flying forward flattening anything in its way. Alenko disarmed the bomb and turned to help finish them off. Not that there was much left for the three marines by that point. Only three geth were still functional after being hit with the flying crate and the reanimated colonists had been utterly demolished. The only thing unscathed was a geth destroyer. Shepard told Kaiden to lift it Biotically, and then she and Ashley peppered it with bursts of assault fire. Up ahead Bourne finished the three damaged geth with his shotgun. He then rounded the corner and Shepard heard gunfire.  
>"Move!" Shepard shouted as she ran forward, Ashley and Kaiden following. Who knew how many geth were down there! They got to the stairs and rounded the corner only to see several inactive geth and the remains of several former colonists strewn across the platform. Bourne was finishing off a damaged geth. Out of nowhere a geth burst out of cover behind him. Before she could even shout a warning Bourne, using some sixth sense rolled to the side. He landed in a croutch and fired a blast from his shotgun. The blast barely took down the geth's shields but the gun was knocked from its grasp.<p>

Bourne dropped his shotgun and glowing biotically, reached out grabbed the synthetics arms. Shepard heard Alenko gasp as Bourne literally ripped the geth in half. Dropping the two halves he reached for the shotgun and it flew into his hand. He seemed to only then notice the Three.

"What took you so long?" He asked with a grin.

**A/N back to my POV**

As I reached for my shotgun I noticed the three marines watching me. Ashley with disbelief, Alenko with almost horror and Shepard with nothing less than shock. I understood why, considering half the techniques hadn't been developed for another two years. I felt a twinge of guilt looking at Ash and Kaiden knowing one of them was destined to die on Virmire. _Don't let them see that _some part of me whispered, the same part that had let me decimate the geth biotically and make every bullet hit home. _The part I got from Iron._

"What took you so long?" I asked ,letting my face gain a cocky grin.  
>"Sorry, Traffic was Killer" Shepard quipped. "That the beacon?"<p>

"Must be" I replied, turning to face it, my mind racing. I knew what happened in the game. _One of the marines approaches the beacon and gets sucked towards it, only for Shepard to pull their fat out of the fire._ I had knowledge of what was to come. _Shepard should be humanities' best hope, but she doesn't know what I know_ I found myself thinking. I came up with a plan-of sorts- that'd help both of us. I stepped closer to it, careful not to get too close. This would require careful timing. I heard Shepard Radioing the Normandy in the background but I kept my attention focused on Kaiden and Ashley.

"Can you believe it? An actual working Prothean Beacon" Kaiden said as he approached it. "It wasn't doing anything like that when they dug it up." Ashley replied, referring to the green aura surrounding it.

I tensed; I would have to act at the precise split second. The beacon glowed brighter and Kaiden was pulled towards it.

Here's what should have happened in the game: Shepard rushed towards to help Kaiden and was sucked into it instead, gaining the Vision of the Reapers.

Instead both Shepard and I arrived at the same and sent Kaiden back with a combined toss. I felt myself rising, feeling weightless, as I saw the same thing happening to Shepard. The next thing I saw overrode everything. The flashes so annoying and nauseating in on a TV screen were vivid, all consuming in my mind. The beacon exploded and I was thrown to the ground dazed. I saw Shepard KO'd nearby and wondered _how __I__ did stay conscious? I _saw the remnants of a blue aura around my arms and realized I had instinctively thrown up a biotic barrier to shield me from the blast. I tried getting to my feet and collapsed, dazed. The two marines rushed to help me. The disorientation passed and I felt Iron take over, his commands- my commands- causing them to follow instantly.

"I'm fine, just dazed. Williams, you check Shepard. Alenko, call" I almost slipped up and said Normandy. But knowing the name of a ship I had never seen would raise questions I couldn't answer without sounding mental. I corrected myself almost instantaneously, the pause imperceptible "your ship. Tell them what happened and make sure the medical bay is prepared for her." The two snapped to it without question, my words, Iron's words, carrying the weight of command they had been trained to follow. As I watched them, I considered all I knew of this universe I had visited so many times through games and books. Thanks to whatever bizarre incident had propelled me here, my memory was almost encyclopedic. I could remember the names and details of every one of Ashley's sisters, what waited on every planet or assignment. I remembered everything I knew of Anderson without thinking about it.

It took me a few seconds to think of why I had thought of him. It was Iron who answered. _He's going to have a lot of questions for me, and I better have answers for him._

"Bourne? You sure you're okay?" Alenko asked me.

I lied and said I was fine as I thought about the parallels between myself and my new namesake. Both were skilled fighters, using skills to pose as mercenaries they weren't. I forced myself to stop thinking of it. _If I don't tell Anderson just the right thing, it'll be the end. The omega. Omega….._ I.

I kept Iron's perfect poker face, but in my head I smiled. I knew just what to tell Anderson.

A/n If you can guess my explanation for him, pat yourself on the back. Next chapter will fill in the gaps between now and Shepard waking up on the Normandy. These events will be more of my own creation, and make references to the novels. I'll try so you can still understand if you haven't read though. I have other commitments, so chapter 4 probably won't be up till Friday. Again please review if you haven't and/or let me know about any spelling errors. I hope you're enjoying, "Stuck in a world of fiction".

**Next Chapter- Anderson, and Explanations.**

**A/n last minute question: is it just me or does it sound a bit like Alan Wake is writing this story ?**


	4. Anderson, and Explanations

**A/n One person asked a few questions in a review (hint hint for the rest of you) and for the 1 not answered,**

**1. Yes, after "Stuck in world of Fiction" is concluded, I will follow up with a sequel during ME2, and once it comes out, ME3.**

**2. Please tell me if I screw up with spelling or grammar. I try to go over it with a fine tooth comb but I'm only human. **

**Disclaimer I feel obligated to put in even though I doubt anybody really will really read it: I do not own Mass Effect, the Bourne series, or any other media or characters I may mention. The only character that is mine the version of me, Aka "Jason Bourne".**

I felt a twinge of Guilt looking at Ashley, while she checked Shepard's Unconscious body. The sound of Kaiden talking to the Normandy in the Background didn't help. Anytime I had looked at either one, Virmire had been in the forefront of my mind.

My thoughts on Shepard were about the same at the moment. Even though part of me knew Shepard had to go through this, seeing her in this vulnerable state almost made me doubt myself. I might not have known how I ended up in this universe, but Shepard and I were its best hope. Shepard was as Miranda put it "a hero, a bloody icon". As for myself, I knew things no one else knew. I could be the difference between a restructured government, and a new one entirely. I could be the only thing that stood between the return of the Rachni, or their extinction.

This is where things would have to deviate from what should happen. The events that took place between the two games were detailed in the novel "Ascention". The events could, no, _would_ happen regardless of Shepards choices, who lived or who died. The time line of now and then was malleable; it would bend, but it would never break, it would always lead to those events. I was a potential paradox in this universe; I could guide it and shape it, but if I tried breaking it, the universe would break me instead.

But first, if my knowledge was to make any difference, I had to get onboard the Normandy. As it touched down, I went through my explanation one last time in my head. I considered how it could fit into the time line, how it could convince Anderson I could be an asset. _The key to any lie_ My unearned skills told me, is to have it be believable_. It has to stretch the truth little enough to believed or it has to mix great amount of fancy with little bits of truth._

As Anderson walked towards me, I knew my skills and knowledge were about to be put to the test.

**Anderson's POV**

When Alenko had radioed for pick up, he had told Anderson a lot, but he still had questions. What were the Geth doing outside the veil for the first time in nearly 300 years? How had the beacon been destroyed?

He walked towards the third question. Who was this Bourne? Alenko said he was some kind of merc but as Anderson studied him with years of Battlefield experience, both participating and commanding, he wasn't sure that was the truth.

One way or another, Anderson wanted answers.

"Are you Bourne?" he asked the "merc"

Bourne turned to face him. His armor was high quality for sure, the type that would take a lot of time to save up for. Before he had turned around Anderson had gotten a good look at his weapons too.

His sniper rifle was pretty standard but his Assault Rifle and Shotgun were clearly top of the line, and probably modded. His pistol looked like he mostly used it for show or when he needed a concealed weapon, though it was a decent model. He had several combat knives as well. One on his left boot, one at his belt, and one stored in a sheath on his left shoulder. He carried them like he didn't even notice the knives. Even if he wasn't a merc, he clearly was a fighter of some sort.

"You the Captain?" Bourne asked him. Not disrespectfully, but not like a soldier greeting a superior either. Or maybe like he was distracted.

"I'm Captain David Anderson, yes." He replied. "I'm hoping you might be able to shed some light one what happened down here."

Bourne didn't exactly look surprised but he raised an eyebrow in question.

"I doubt I can tell you anything Lt. Alenko didn't already."

"Maybe not, but I'd like to get your opinions anyway. You seem like you'd know what you were doing, and it's better for the official reports."

Bourne shrugged. "Fair enough."

Bourne thought for a moment, as if deciding how to begin. "I was on a shuttle to the spaceport when I first saw that giant ship. The shuttle was shot down by enemy fighters."

He looked away. "I think I was the only thing on that heap that made it"

"What else was on it?" Anderson asked.

Bourne turned back to face him. "I take it you really mean who else was on it. Nobody, besides me and the pilot. It was a supply drop; weapons and ammo for the marines, and surplus to train a militia."

"A militia?"

"Somebody was rich enough to get in contact with me, and tell me they wanted me to train a militia for Eden Prime. Not the kind of job I'd usually take but it was better than Omega."

" Why were you on Omega?"

"Some people would call it a rundown asteroid in the middle of the terminus, but I think Hell suits it much better. I had been freelancing as a Merc, or I guess most of the time a bounty hunter, for about 6 months when I got a call, asking me to train a militia.."

"I didn't think there were that many humans on Omega." Anderson stated cautiously. He wasn't quite suspicious, but something didn't quite add up. He only looked to be about 21-25.

"More than you'd think. Enough that they aren't quite noticed, but they can't quite fade into the background either."

"How'd you end up on Omega?"

"I grew up there" Bourne said with a shrug.

Anderson stared at him for a moment. "Doesn't seem like the place to raise a family" he said cautiously. Something was definitely off.

Bourne Grimaced. "No, it's not. It's a place to train a killer. Some sick fucks, I don't know who or what, cloned me, grew me, whatever, and handed me over to a merc band for training. Messed with my genes to make a perfect killer. Strong, Fast, Smart," he raised a fist "and a Biotic" he said letting his fist glow with a blue Mass Effect field. "Experimental implants, even, so I don't tire as much as normal human. " His powers dissipated

"What Merc band?" Anderson asked noticing that Alenko and the Marine, Williams he thought, were listening too. He could tell they were paying attention; both had their hands hovering near where their pistols were holstered.

"Not one you'd be familiar with. They were a small band, mostly turians, batarians, a few salarians and Asari; don't know that they really even had a name for themselves." He acted like he was unaware of the marines scrutiny, but Anderson could tell he was very aware. He kept glancing at them so swiftly, Anderson almost didn't notice. He clearly was experienced. But then again, so was Anderson.

"Besides" Bourne said, crossing his arms, "It's not exactly current events. About 2 years ago they started getting into worse crimes. I had considered them my family since I could walk. Drug running I could handle."

Bourne took a deep breath.

"Then they started Slave Trafficking. Asari, Turians, Even Elcor or Hanar. Didn't matter to them if the price was right."

"But it mattered to you?" Alenko asked. Bourne turned to face him.

"I'm not a slaver" He said coldly. "I didn't know about it at first. I went to see Nigun, the boss. Told him to stop the slaving. He told me to keep my nose out of that and stick to training. It was always training with them. That's what they had been paid to do." He looked ready to say more, but then seemed to decide against it.

He turned back to Anderson.

Anderson could guess what was coming.

"I gave him one warning, and he didn't take it. That night, or that day, whatever it is on Omega, I broke into the compound and let the slaves go. I had stolen some of the drug money, enough for them to get off Omega. I made it look like vigilantes had done it." He sighed. "Didn't work. Nigun had been suspicious, so he had set up security cameras. He knew it was me."

Bourne looked to the side lost in thought, as though considering how much to tell them.

He nodded to himself and turned back.

"Nigun sent his best guys after me. They were good," His belt knife Biotically flew into his hand, "but I was better." His grin was humorless. "They trained me too well. I killed all of them, then went after Nigun. Killed his guards and planted my blade at his lying throat." He looked the blade in his hand, studying it.

"Demanded to know who had ordered Me. He told me he had no idea." Bourne's tone made it clear he was unconvinced. "Probably the first thing to ever come out of his mouth that wasn't a lie. Whoever they were they covered their tracks well. They had only worked through intermediaries. He told me that, then he was dumb enough to try going for his gun. I slit his throat before he even got close." He sheathed his blade.

Bourne took a deep breath and looked directly at Anderson. "I had to scrounge on that hell hole for two years before I got the call."

Alenko took a step closer. "Wait, you said you had been Freelancing for six months."

Bourne looked at him and glared. Not aggressively, but it was clearly meant as a warning.

"I had to bounce from place to place for a year and a half. Now that I knew the truth, it sickened me. I didn't want to use those skills." He hung his head shamefully. "Eventually though, I ended up on the streets, desperate. I went to the abandoned base and took the best gear I could find. Half of was stuff I had never seen before, probably stolen." He glanced at Kaiden again, locking eyes with him. "That's probably why you said it looked Alliance. At the time, I couldn't be too picky about where I got it from if it could keep me alive. After that, I started hiring myself as a bounty hunter"

He looked back at Anderson. "I'm no saint, and I'll admit it, but I never killed if I could help it. When I got that call, I thought it was my ticket to a better life. I hoped once I had helped these colonists, I could…" he took a deep breath as though to calm himself. "I wanted to enlist in the alliance military."

Williams looked shocked, almost indignant, but Bourne continued like he hadn't noticed, or he didn't care.

"Instead my shuttle crashed and I ended up fighting for my life again. I ended up meeting these three, and we worked together to retrieve the beacon. When we arrived, the platform was surrounded by demolition charges." He crossed his hands behind his back. "When Lt. Alenko got too close to it, the beacon trapped him in some sort of stasis field. When Shepard and I rushed to help him, we were caught in the field instead."

He looked at the ground. Not in shame, but like he was confused.

"I had some sort of vision, I don't quite know what it was." He glanced at Shepard's prone form, lying on a temporary cot while Chakwas looked her over. "I think the same thing happened to Commander Shepard, but we'll have to wait till she regains consciousness to find out." He turned back to Anderson. "Then the beacon exploded. Commander Shepard was rendered unconscious, and I was severely dazed, though I managed a Biotic field that absorbed most of the blast."

Anderson crossed his arms and looked at him, thinking. Bourne, for his part, waited to hear what he had to say. Anderson mulled it over. It sounded farfetched, but it was believable. And if he was willing to help them… Anderson had heard Alenko's basic report via the Radio, and if Saren _was _Involved, he wanted all the help he could get.

"Would you be willing to state that again in a report?" Bourne nodded. "Welcome aboard the Normandy Lt. Bourne." Anderson said reaching out to shake his hand. Bourne shook it. "Thank you Captain."

"Head on board the Normandy. We can take care of the paper work later." Bourne saluted and turned to the ship. Anderson turned to Question the marines, not noticing the small but present grin on "Bourne's" face.

**Back to me.**

I couldn't hold back a small grin as I boarded the Normandy, hardly believing it had worked. I was not only onboard the ship, I was also part of its crew. I had played the part perfectly. I had given it similarities to Jack and Miranda's origins to make it more believable, and it had been swallowed hook, line, and sinker. _I even got Alenko off my back with the equipment. Nobody batted an eye, not even me. Though Ashley's response could have gone better. _

Getting on board the Normandy was the first step in what could loosely be called a plan. If I could Shepard to trust me, listen to me, I'd actually be able to use my knowledge of what was to come. I still had no idea what to do about Virmire though.

I didn't know what I would do next but, for now, I let myself relax. I didn't know what would happen when we reached the citadel, but I knew I could make it work. _Oh wait,_ I thought to myself,_ I do know what should happen when we reach the citadel._ The trouble would be changing it to involve myself. I didn't know why the universe had put me here, but I wasn't going to fail it.

**Next Chapter: Joker, The Normandy, and Realizations. **

**Please review. I know everybody asks that but I'm new and knowing what I'm doing right and wrong would be a big help.**

**Next chapter will be like this, more with my own ideas, chapter after should start following the game again. **

**I Hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a world of Fiction". **


	5. Joker, The Normandy, and Revalations

**A/n Ok, Me trying to predict when I'll get a new chapter up is not accurate at all. New plan: Try to post as often as possible. I'll say if I plan to post less when it comes up for sure.**

**As should be painfully clear by this point: Me no own anything. **

As I stored my gear, I reflected on the last few hours. Anderson had drawn up the paperwork, so as far as the Alliance was concerned, I was Now Lt. Jason R. Bourne. I still couldn't believe all of what happened. The scary part was how calmly I was taking all this. Since I had arrived in this universe, and realized I probably wasn't crazy, I had accepted most of it.

I wasn't the Mass Effect version of a "Trekkie" but I knew a few things that didn't seem to add up. For one thing, Biotics were supposed to have much a greater metabolism then normal humans, but I felt about the same. I had grabbed a normal ration pack, rather the one for biotics, and I was still running normal. I hadn't even though about it until Kaiden had said something to me. Luckily I had managed to brush it off and say that scrounging on Omega had left me adapted to the normal amounts.

And I didn't have Migraines or anything so I clearly wasn't an L2. In fact, Chakwas hadn't recognized what type they were. I was pleasantly surprised by this fact, since it meant I wouldn't have to modify or exchange them at any point.

Not to mention the Neural Implants to Receive a HUD on my retinas, to replace the helmet I didn't wear. I was pretty sure I didn't have those BEFORE! _Is anything else changed? There's a billion things I might have no idea about!_

I felt myself slipping into panic, but I let my unearned skills calm me down. I had several things going through my mind, and I forced myself to organize and examine several things.

1. My Body.

I had been about to be 21 on earth, but I now looked to be about 25-30. I didn't feel older though. When I went to stow my gear and caught my reflection on the locker, I only just managed to control myself. I went into the showers, which I would have done anyway, as I was sweaty and dirty from fighting, and took a long hard look at myself in the mirror. My face still looked like me, but as if it had photoshopped and altered. My nose was still the same, my ears still more or less flat against my head, but other things were different. I could see how my story about being raised on Omega had been believed. My hair was flat on the sides and a straight plane across the top. My face was more rugged looking, though there wasn't a hint of stubble. Most notably, my eyes, which had brown before, were now the same shade of blue as my biotic energy. I clenched my fist, activating my new powers, and my eyes seemed to glow. I let the Mass Effect field and they returned to normal. My body was also more sculpted and muscular. I now had a six pack to rival the one Jacob supposedly had. I looked at my right index finger, and was relieved to see the familiar scar from a pocket knife across a joint. _So it might not be a different body. Maybe what I said to Anderson about being a perfect specimen was true._ It was as if my DNA had been twisted and changed to accommodate the demands this fight would require.

2. Biotic Abilities

Obviously I hadn't had those before. I hadn't quite thought about what I was doing earlier, it just seemed to come naturally. I thought about what I wanted to do and I found myself moving, doing it.

I could warp, lift, pull, throw, and create singularities. I could wrap myself in a biotic barrier or use it to wrap someone else in stasis. I felt with more practice I could create a shockwave or slam enemies against walls. I had also used other more unique abilities, such as increasing my strength with my Biotics, or ripping my enemies' weapons away from them.

It was hard to judge, since I had never seen her myself, but I felt like my power easily surpassed Miranda's, maybe equaling Jack's. I doubted I was anywhere near Samara or even Liara in terms of power though.

I also had noticed I had very fine control over my abilities, seeing as my shotgun had practically leapt into my hands.I felt like I equaled Miranda in this respect, but if I tried to create Warp Ammo like Jack, or levitate around that sphere like Samara it would blow up in my face. I still was good enough to move small objects accurately though. I would have to gain a lot of "on the job" experience.

It felt odd comparing myself to people I hadn't yet met, but otherwise the only Biotic I could really compare myself to was Kaiden. Thinking about it brought me to another question, but I had another more urgent.

3. Combat Skills

I was a crack shot with every gun except the Sniper Rifle, no sense over analyzing that. The Shotgun and Assault Rifle were top of the line, and the pistol was dependable for anything.

I knew, somehow, that I was now the equivalent of a 2nd dawn black belt in multiple martial arts. I also knew all the weak spots of every known sapient species. Even the collectors I realized, though I wouldn't have to draw on that for some time. Turians were much tougher, but they had weak points at the knees, waist, and their face was obviously vulnerable. A Krogan would probably require one of my knives or Biotics to take down.

I was an expert knife fighter, and could probably throw them accurately as well. Even more accurately with my Biotics. I considered this then thought up a possible piece of equipment I could fashion when we reached the citadel. I'd have to consider how to do this though, and thought of the big, more important question.

4. Virmire.

Obviously, if I tracked down Wrex's family armor it would be no problem talking him down. That wasn't the issue, and besides, I hadn't even met him yet. The universe had been designed to only let one of the two marines survive. I was worried. When I had started the game I had been unsure of the choice, because I didn't know who, or even if, Raptor was going to romance. In the real world it had been easy, sentencing a character to die. They were just lines of binary code. But here, they were living, breathing people. I couldn't avoid them without seeming suspicious but, and I didn't want to avoid them besides. I decided not to worry about it for now, and to just act normally. I vowed to find a way to save them both. Part of me was still doubtful though.

5, which should've bugged me the most, was the most obvious. How did I end up here?

It had something to do with the lightning flash I had seen as I reached the console, of that I was certain. My best guess: the lightning had somehow been reflected in this world and warped me through time and space. It made about as much sense as anything else so I stopped dwelling on it.

I considered other facts as well

1. I now seemed to have memory equaling a drell, minus the creepy lack of control at times. I could remember every word of my conversation with Anderson, which had been useful for the report he had wanted from me. Luckily I only remembered if I wanted to, or it would have gotten old fast.

2. I knew what the visions should mean, but it seemed like I'd need the cipher and the other half on Virmire to make sense of it without my prior knowledge.

I decided to just relax for a bit and went up to the cockpit to talk to Joker. Normandy had only touched off Eden Prime 4 hours ago, so I still had about 11 hours before Shepard should wake up, according to Kaiden in game.

Joker seemed exactly like in the game and every fanfic I had ever read. Pretty much everyone else looked the same as in game, but Joker looked and sounded so much like Seth Green it was almost Scary.

"So how long till this heap of junk reaches the Citadel?" I asked him.

"Jesus!" It was probably lucky he had spent years with Vroliks, or he would probably jumped higher and broken every bone in his body. "Three things: 1. Don't sneak up on me like that, I happen to like my bones unbroken like they are now. 2. If you call my ship a heap of junk, I'll have Shepard toss you out the airlock. And 3, we'll get there when we get there so stopping asking every five minutes about it."

I laughed and said. "You've certainly earned your nick name."

"Which is kind of Ironic if you think about it"

"How so?" I had managed to get him to mention his disease and training. It would things a lot easier if I didn't reference things I had never heard him talk about. I hadn't really reacted, since I had seen it coming. We had ended building our own banter.

" I actually got the name from a smart ass teacher who noticed I never smiled."

"You're right. That is ironic. But you're probably lucky she don't come with something more accurate"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Nothing."

"Anyway we should be there in about 30 galactic hours." I nodded doing the math in my head

The time had been explained in the novels. With the GST, Galactic standard time, a day was twenty hours. However, each hour was made up of 100 minutes made up of 100 seconds. And each second was about half as long as a second on earth.  
>Best I could figure, we'd be there in about a day and a half. Luckily my omnitool, another new addition now implanted in my left hand, had a time converter downloaded on it. It also had a timer, for either unit of time. I set it for what Joker had said and checked a separate countdown I had set. I wasn't sure if Shepard would wake up in 15 earth hours after dust off, or 15 hours GS time. I planned on heading there a bit before the former, as it was slightly sooner.<p>

I decided to check my gear. I told Joker to "Try not to crash while I'm on the ship" and walked past the galaxy map, down the stairs, and took the elevator down to the lower deck. _Man this thing is even slower than in the game._

**A/n sorry, couldn't resist.**

I decided to check my armor first. Like the weapons, it was semi collapsible when not in use, so it ended up 3/4ths the size of the locker. I realized this was also so it could be worn by either gender, moving to accommodate accordingly. I laid it on the floor in front of the locker and studied it. My armor was white and grey cameo on most of it, with the secondary color being black. I found it kind of plain. _When we get to the Citadel, _I decided_, I'm going to get a red Ω Omega painted on the chest, where Shepard's N7 is_. I also had plans for the belt and arms, one that would give an edge in combat. I'd have to ask Shepard or Ashley for a second opinion, but I felt I could make it work

By using modified ammo belts, I wanted to store collapsable knives, which I could detach and throw Biotically. No one would see that coming.

My armor was fine so I re-collapsed it and took out my weapons. I carried them over to the table where Ashley was working on gear.  
>"Do you mind if I look over my own gear?"<p>

She hardly glanced up from what she was doing. "Go ahead." She hadn't been hostile, per say, but I could tell she wasn't exactly thrilled to have me onboard either. Not to mention I was a slightly higher rank than her. She had been putting up with things like that for years thanks to her grandfather.

I field stripped them in seconds, grateful that my time trip training had covered it. All three guns ( I decided I wasn't going to bother with the Sniper Rifle, since I couldn't use it) had been modified with improved heat sinks, high caliber barrels, and they fired chemical covered rounds. I checked the sighting and made sure the ammo blocks were still good. Instead of a magazine, the gun's VI systems figured out much metal to carve off and send down the barrel. All 3 were still good for a while, but I grabbed extras to store on my armor. My combat knives were still razor sharpened and ready to go. I hadn't even noticed them when I first got here, as they were never in game. I had found them built on to the armor, and left them, since I knew how to use them now.

"Hey Bourne?" Joker's voice came over the intercom, "Dr. Chakwas wants to see you in the med lab. Something about comparing your condition to Shepard's."

I activated the comm unit on my Omnitool. "Thanks for the heads up Joker. But did you have to broadcast that across the whole ship?"

"Hey, I get bored up here."

Shaking my head, I terminated the call and headed for the med-lab.

I knew they were going to ask about the beacon, and the visions.

Hopefully Shepard would be awake to back me up. I had spent too much time and effort to keep out of the nut house to be stuck in there now.

**Next Chapter: Visions and Disbelief.**

**I can't really think of much to say here. Reviews are, or I should say, would be appreciated.**

**I hope you are enjoying "Trapped in a World of Fiction". **


	6. Visions, and Disbelief

**A/n I just wanted to clarify a few things. **

**1. For the People asking about the LIs, I have decided who to pair up, but the major stuff won't happen for a few chapters. And this story is staying T, not M. **

**2. I don't have it entirely planned out, but I'm not going in blind either. I know what I want to have happen when; I'm just deciding how to have it happen. I think this helps "Bourne" be more natural anyway. Though, to be honest, I think I may have more scenes planned for the sequel then for this story. **

As I made my way to the medbay after 5 minutes in the elevator, I checked my timer one more time. I still had about 7 hours before Shepard should wake up, so hopefully I could get a few hours' sleep after Chakwas was done with me.

As I walked in I noticed Shepard had already been moved to the back room. "How's the commander doing?" I asked Chakwas as she came into the main lab area.

"She was shaking earlier, like she was having nightmares. I don't think anything's wrong with her, she probably just needs to sleep it off."

"Any idea when she'll be up and around?"

"I can't really be sure, but I'd guess 6 hours at the earliest. I'm more concerned about you though."

"Me?" I asked, surprised. My hyper fast mind considered this, but decided to find out from her.

"Lt. Alenko mentioned that you had some sort of vision, which you thought was triggered by the beacon. I just want to make sure it's not PTS or a concussion."

I shrugged. "Can't say I blame you for being cautious."

As she examined me, She asked " Do you mind describing what you saw?"

"Any particular reason doctor?"

"You said the same thing might have happened to Commander Shepard. It might be related to the nightmares she looked like she was having. I also don't understand why you were merely dazed while she was knocked unconscious."

"I don't really understand most of it." It was true. I remembered what the completed vision should look like, but otherwise the actual vision was still a blur. "And as for how I stayed conscious, I instinctively shielded myself biotically." It wasn't a total lie, but I thought it was more than that. I had expected what would happen so I was partially braced for it. Shepard had been caught unawares.

"Hmm, I suppose that makes sense. Still, it seems like Shepard conditions had more to do with these *visions* than the blast."

She didn't pry further though, for which I was grateful. If I admitted the visions hadn't affected me as much, it would be suspicious.

She said I was fine so I thanked her and left. Thank god the sleeper pods were on this floor, I didn't think I could handle another Elevator ride. I grabbed a vacant one and climbed in. I set my omni-tool to wake me up in five hours. It wasn't much sleep but it was better than nothing. Plus, if my physical condition was anything to go by, it was probably all I needed for now.

Beep. Beep. Beeeep.

My omni-tool woke me up. I felt better, and popped the hatch on the pod, then climbed out. I noticed Alenko wasn't at his terminal so I guessed he had gone to check up on Shepard. I walked into the medbay and saw the back room was open.

"Dr. Chakwas? I think she's waking up." I heard Kaiden say. I walked in and saw Shepard sitting up. _Right cue._

"You had us worried Commander. How are you feeling now?" Chakwas asked.

"Like the morning after shore leave" She joked. "How long was I out?"

"By which time system?" I asked with a chuckle. Alenko wheeled around. Joker had been right. I was stealthy without even realizing it. I had to fight back another laugh at the surprised look on his face.

"You were out about 15 hours" Chakwas said, glaring at me. She looked back at Shepard. " We think it had something to with the beacon."

Alenko spoke up. "It was my fault commander. I must have activated some sort of security field when I approached it."

"It wasn't your fault Kaiden, You couldn't have known" Shepard assured him.

"Besides" I said, "That might not have even been what caused it. Although we can't really study it to find out, considering it blew up" I turned to Shepard "the blast knocked you cold and we brought you onboard."

"If I had to guess I'd say it was a system overload" Alenko put in.

Shepard nodded. "I appreciate it." I wasn't sure whether she was talking to Kaiden or talking to me.

"Physically you're both fine,"Chakwas began, but Shepard interrupted. "Both?"

"Lt. Bourne was caught in the blast as well." Chakwas answered. Shepard glanced at me, and seemed to decide to just ask about it later.

"However, I did detect some unusual brain activity, and an increase in your REM, signs usually related to intense dreaming."

Shepard looked at the floor, looking confused. "I saw, well, I don't really know. It wasn't that clear."

"Might it have been synthetics wiping out organics?" I asked, knowing how she'd respond. _ And 3…2…1…_

My guess was right on the money. "How did you-" She began, looking at me with her full attention for the first time.

I didn't bother waiting for her to finish. "I had a similar vision, if not the same, right before the beacon knocked us both on our asses." I shrugged. "It looked like the same thing happened to you, but I didn't want to mention it first and sound certifiable."

"Why didn't you mention it before then?" Chakwas asked, crossing her arms.

"I refer to my previous statement about sounding certifiable." I shrugged "I figured if it only happened to me, it was nothing, and if Shepard had had it too, then it had merit."

"I see. I had better add this to my report, Oh! Captain Anderson!" Shepard and Alenko turned to face him but I had heard him coming. Another new skill. Well, that and I had known he was going to walk in right about then.

"How's my crew holding up doctor?"

"All the readings look normal, I'd say the Lt and Commander Shepard will be fine."

"Lt? Did I miss something?" Shepard asked looking at me.

"Bourne is now Elnlisted in the alliance military. And after seeing what they can do, He and Chief Williams have been assigned to the Normandy."

"Good idea. Williams is a good soldier." Shepard replied, looking at me. _Nice. Real Nice._

I knew what was going through her head. _Why would a merc want to join the Alliance?_

"But I'm not?" It was more of a statement then a question. "I had been planning to enlist when I came to Eden Prime. Getting paid to train a militia was just my ticket off Omega."

Captain Anderson stepped in. "The full story is a bit lengthy, so I'll let you read his report later. In the meantime, I need to speak to the two of you privately." Alenko saluted and left the med bay and Chawkwas followed closing the door behind her.

"Sounds like that Beacon hit you pretty hard Commander. Are you sure you're ok?" Anderson asked.

Shepard looked away. "I don't like losing soldiers under my command Captain." I kept my expression the same, but I cursed myself for forgetting about Jenkins. He had such I minor role in-game, but here he had been a living person being. I forced myself not to think of Virmire. I still had no idea what would happen there.

"I'm sorry. He'll be missed." Shepard looked at me, then back at the ground. "Thanks."

She looked at Anderson." What did you need to see us about?"

"I'll be Honest, things look bad."

"What you mean the Beacon exploding or the dead Spectre?" That bought me a sharp look from both. I reminded myself these were my superior officers. For now. "Sorry, just thinking aloud. I'm not quite used to protocol." I had always had an issue with doing things like that. It's why I had never considered the military before. Of course, that was before I became a hyper trained fighter. With Biotic superpowers. It was a good thing I knew how to conceal my emotions now.

Anderson looked back at Shepard. "He's right though. Between that, and the Geth invading, the Council is going to want answers."

"We didn't do anything wrong Captain. I hope the Council will see that."

"I'll stand by both you, and your reports. But that's not why I'm here. It's that other Spectre." He turned towards us. "Saren."

"You sound like you know him." We both said at once. _Well duh, that's what I know happened. I read the novel and listen to him talk about 50 billion times._

"He's one of the best, a living legend. If he's working with the Geth, it means he's gone rogue."

"That's not a good thing." I said.

"No, it's not. And he hates humans."

"How so?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms.

"Some people think humans are moving too fast, and he's one of them. I worked a mission with him years back. I saw how he operates. He's brutal, a monster."

"And now he's allied himself with the Geth" I finished. "That shouldn't even be possible."

"It had something to do with that beacon. You were both there before the beacon self-destructed. Were there any clues to indicate what Saren was after?"

Shepard uncrossed her arms. "I had some sort of vision right before the beacon exploded. As Bourne put it," She glanced at me, than back to Anderson "It was of Synthetics, maybe Geth, Slaughtering and butchering people."

"We need to report this to the council Shepard."

"What are we going to tell them?" she snorted, "I had a scary dream?"

"She has a point." I put in.

Anderson turned to me. " We have no idea what information was stored in that beacon. Blueprints? Weapon Designs? Whatever it was, Saren got a hold of it. I know him, and his reputation. He believes humans are a blight on the galaxy."

"and Eden Prime was an act of war." It wasn't a question. I was trying to involve myself in the conversation but it was lucky I now had total recall. I usually just read the text and skipped the dialogue. It was taking a lot to stay involved.

"Yes. He now has the information from the beacon. He has an army of synthetics on his side. And he won't stop until he's wiped us of the shape of the galaxy.

"I won't let that happen." Shepard declared. The tone in her voice made me glad we had both received the vision. I hadn't been sure before, but it was definitely good to have us both on the same side. "I'll find some way to take him down."

"You mean _We'll _find some way to take him down. With all due respect Commander, I think this involves both of us. He want to wipe out all of humanity."

She turned to face me. "Why do you care? You said you were a merc." She wasn't quite angry, but her tone had an edge to it. She didn't trust me.

"I WAS. That's what I had been bred for, trained for. I turned away as soon as I could. When I was a bounty hunter, I only took down people I knew were guilty. Gang leaders, Slavers, ect. And I _never_ killed where I could help it."

"The whole reason" I was barely managing to contain a civil tone. I wasn't acting, I was pissed. I was barely managing to keep from shouting, and not fully succeeding. "I came to Eden Prime was first and full most to serve." I knew that was why I had been brought here. "I think taking down a rogue Spectre counts."

Shepard considered me. I was pretty sure I had convinced her. She would be willing to work with Wrex, For crying out loud! I still wasn't sure until I saw her nod.

"We both have things in our past we regret. I'll stop prying. I trust you, and I know you know what you're doing." She smiled. "I think you proved that when you ripped that Geth in two."

I considered how to respond. I respected her experience as well. Minus Akuze, but I wasn't worried about that.

"Thank you commander. I won't let you down"

Anderson chose that moment to break the mood. "It won't be easy. As a Spectre, he's nearly untouchable. We'll have to get the council on our side. If we can find proof, his stasis will be revoked."

"Agreed sir." We both said at once, then turned to look at each other. "That's starting to get creepy" Shepard joked.

"I'll have Ambassador Udina set up an audience with the council. He'll want to see us as soon as we reach the citadel. Tell Joker to bring us into dock. We should be getting close." Anderson said as he left the med bay.

"Do you really trust me, or were you just saying that to placate the Captain?" I asked Shepard. I wasn't sure, something I was unused to here. I could usually guess how they'd react.

"I mean it. I don't know why, maybe it's because you're not like most mercs. Something about you… Either way, I'm glad to have you watching my six. I'm going to talk to Kaiden, you head up to the bridge and tell Joker to bring us in."

I saluted. "Aye Aye Commander." We walked out of the med bay and I let her talk to Kaiden. Part of me wanted to listen, see if anything was "going on" between them, but it would seem suspicious. I had been fairly sure I wasn't going to have her romance Kaiden though. I knew if something happened between the two, gossip would insure I heard it. I wouldn't let Virmire cut us a man short!

And yet part of me wondered again if there was really anything I could do.

**I headed up towards Joker.**

**Next chapter: The Citadel.**

**That seems like a good place to stop for now. **

Thank god for people who put ME playthroughs on YouTube to help me write the dialogue for this chapter. I don't know when I'll put the next chapter up but now that I've got more things planned out, I should be able to get chapters cranked out more often.

I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a World of Fiction" As much as I'm enjoying reading it.


	7. The Citadel

**A/n I don't own zip. I got nothing else.**

"Hey Joker, I'm walking up behind you."

He turned to glance at me. "Why was that necessary?"

"Well, we don't wanna scare the cripple and leave the ship without a pilot."

"Yeah, Yeah hilarious. That part about Shepard throwing you out the airlock still stands ya know."

Shepard and the two marines entered the bridge as well. "Joker, what have I told you about using me as a threat?" **Shepard must have had damn good hearing to hear that.**

"That you'd do to me what I threatened to have you do."

I laughed. "Shepard said that?"

"No, but it seems like something that she'd do"

"Unless you want to find out, I suggest you focus on driving" Shepard said, but it was clear she was joking.

"Aye aye, commander, bringing us into the citadel now. Time to see that taxpayer money at work."

I could see the Mass Relay up ahead, but somehow I wasn't as intimidated as I would have thought. Probably because I was now a biotic, and could create Mass Effect Fields myself. We passed through it, and suddenly, there in front of us, was the Citadel. I spared only a glance at the destiny ascension, then turned my attention back to the citadel.  
>"Come on, Anderson wants us in full gear." Shepard said.<p>

The three of us followed her to the elevator, which was still slow as molasses and headed over to the armor lockers. I opened mine and decollapsed my armor. I got into mine with quick practiced movement and saw the others doing the same. Kaiden was the first fully equipped, as he was the only one with light armor; Shepard, Ashley and I all had medium armor.

I holstered my pistol then grabbed my Shotgun and Assault Rifles. I stored those on my back and went to head up to the bridge. "Anderson wants us in _Full _gear" Ashley said in a tone that clearly stated she was still not happy I had joined the crew. She seemed to trust me about as far as she could Biotically throw me. And since she wasn't a Biotic...

"I am." I said, keeping a civil tone, though it wasn't easy.

She grabbed a Sniper Rifle from the table. "You forgot this."

"I'm expected to have a weapon I can't even use?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. I had never really understood that.

"It's standard Alliance protocol. In case one of your squadmates loses their weapons. That's why Vanguards still carry weapons on their backs."

"Well if it'll make you happy" I said jokingly, Biotically grabbing a Spare Assault Rifle and drawing it towards me, "I'll gladly carry an extra weapon." I grabbed the assault rifle out of the air. "That I can actually use" I finished, storing the spare in the spot normally reserved for a Sniper Rifle.

"While I'm on the Citadel, I'll pick up some accuracy upgrades. Give it some more "upmph" at long range."

Ashley looked at me for a second, then shrugged and went back to her own gear. "That's actually a pretty good idea. Long range, but something you can use." She looked back at me "how'd you think of that?"

In truth, I had thought of plenty of weapons. I might have been limited by the events described in the game, but I saw no reason to adhere to its combat.

"You should see what else I'm dreaming up."

"What?"

"Now, Now, we don't want to spoil the surprise now do we?"

I could see Shepard shaking her head, smiling. "Come on, or we'll be late for the Ambassador.

I wish we had been late for the Ambassador. As soon as I heard him and the council arguing via hologram, I knew the four were just as annoying in reality as in the game. Udina was a coward, making demands with no real way to back it up. The Asari Counselor, who I knew from the wiki was named Tevos, was the voice of reason, to a fault. While Mordin was "like a hamster on coffee" the Salarian Councilor was like a snail smoking weed; Demanding evidence before acting on anything. As for Turian Councilor, well, if Garrus had a stick up his ass, the Councilor had a whole tree up his.

Once they were done bickering, Udina turned to us. "Captain Anderson, I see you've brought half your crew with you." It was reeaaaaaaaaaaaly hard not to punch him. I tried tuning him out, without much luck.

"I read the mission Reports. I assume they're accurate." It was hard not to graze him with my pistol. _Keep your cool…_

"Settle down commander. You've already done more than enough to jeopardize your Candidacy for the Spectres" Ok, now it was taking everything I had not to biotically throw into the presidium lakes. Shepard seemed to know what I was thinking and sent me a very clear look.

I forced myself to tune him out. Instead I studied the various species from a distance.

"Shepard, you and the others meet us in the citadel tower-top level. I'll make sure you have clearance to get in." _Thank god, he finally left._

"And that's why I hate politicians" Ashley said.

"Hate him? I was fighting not to shoot him."

Shepard glared at me.

"What? It would just be a flesh wound, that's got to be a grey area right?" I said grinning to show I was joking.

She kept glaring, crossing her arms as she did so.

"I was kidding. Sheesh. Buzz kill"

She rolled her eyes and motioned for us to fall into line.

Ashley leaned her head towards me. "Were you thinking assault rifle or pistol?" she stage whispered./

"Actually, I wanted to through him into the lakes."

"Huh, would have guessed you'd use one of those knives of yours."

"These aren't for throwing unless I have to.

"You say that like you have ones that are."

I shrugged. _She might have a few suggestions about it._

"I had been planning on buying some retractable blades, and modifying a couple of ammo belts to store them on my forearms."

"And on your belt itself?"

"Be useful to have spares."

"It'd be pretty surprising, I'll give you that."

"Yeah, Biotic propelled throwing knives aren't something you see very often." I joked.

We boarded the elevator and Ashley and I discussed the logistics of such an upgrade.

"The trouble is, you'd have to replace them almost constantly. If you throw them, you'd probably end up losing them."

"If I kept a hold of them Biotically though, I could recall them when I needed."

"Somehow, I keep forgetting you're also a biotic."

"Let's hope he doesn't have to remind you anytime soon" Shepard cut in.

"What do you think of the idea?" I asked her.

"Anyone else and it would sound insane. But, I think you could actually make it work. It seems like it would fit your style" I choose to take that as a compliment.

"If we have spare time after the hearing, I could help him find some good knives" Ashley cut in.

I Looked at her. "I'd appreciate that Ashley." She smiled back, then turned to the opening doors, which Finally slid open so we could go get stone walled by the council.

**A/n Yes, I am going to make that joke constantly. The only reason this story isn't in the humor category as well is that I'm limited to 2 genres for the description.**

We walked up the steps and saw Garrus arguing with the executor. He looked odd to me, then I realized it was because he didn't have the scars from a gunship battle.

He turned towards us.

"Commander Shepard. I'm Garrus Vakarian, the C-sec officer responsible for the investigation into Saren."  
>"Did you find anything?" Shepard asked.<p>

"No, most of what he does is buried in classification." 

I crossed my arms. "He covers his tracks well. I wasn't expecting anything to turn up." I sighed. "At least you tried. That's more than the council is doing."

He looked towards me. "And you would be?"

"Bourne. Jason Bourne."

**A/n Yes I just did that.**

"Yes, I saw your name on the reports. To be honest, a lot of people think you two are crazy after hearing your stories about your visions."

"So what about you?" Alenko asked him.

"I believe you. Trust me; I've seen a lot of weird things."

"I'll bet." I said, thinking about Dr. Saleon.

"C'mon, I think the Council's ready for us." Alenko said.

"Good luck Bourne. Maybe they'll listen to you and Shepard."

We kept going up to the hearing. I made sure my weapons had their safeties on.

**A/n Hang tight. Next chapter should be up within a couple of hours of this one. This just seems like a good place to "Save and Quit."**

**Plus, if my jokes are getting to things like the one above, I probably need a break.**

**Next Chapter: How did idiots like these end up on the council?**


	8. How did these idiots get on the council?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect. If I did, Miranda would have been Romanceable by Fem Shep. And no, that is not happening in the sequel. No, not even if you say pretty please. Or in the third one where that can actually happen. NO! NOT EVEN IF YOU SAY PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE! Anyway…**

As we entered the hearing, to which Anderson told us had already started, I got my first look at Saren, in holographic form. I was taking in what the council was saying, but I remembered it already so I tuned them out. When Benezia and Shiala said he could convince people, that he was very persuasive, it must been the indoctrination was more effective than they thought.

I had seen a total of four turians up close: Garrus, Executor palin, the body of Nihlus, and now Saren. I felt a chill go down my spine. Even without knowing what he was capable of, I could almost sense an aura of evil around him. Everything from his dead looking silver eyes, to his cybernetic right arm made me tense. I forced myself to control my emotions and focused on the conversation.

"And these must be your protégés, the 2 who let the becon get destroyed" I heard him say.

"The Beacon was top secret. The only way you could know about it was if you were there" Shepard shot back

"With the passing of Nihlus, his files were handed over to me. I was unimpressed"

I couldn't remain quiet a moment longer. "Good. That makes two of us. If the Geth are all you have, you might as well give up now" It was an effort not to say more, but even if I revealed what I knew, without evidence it would only give him warning. I knew I would have to tell people at some point, but only on a need-to-know basis, and only after swearing them to secrecy. I briefly wondered why I had thought of this but then Saren spoke again.

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures. Anderson taught you well."

He turned to look at the council.

"Just what I'd expect….From a human"

"Saren despises Humanity, that's why he attacked Eden Prime" Shepard cut in. She shot me a look that clearly told me to shut up but I was too mad to care. I knew it would make no difference anyway. "You can expect _this_ human to find evidence to take you down." I had wanted to say 'to kill you the next time we meet', but I knew it would make no difference. And if looks could kill, the one Shepard was using on me would have the same force as the M-920 Cain. Though from her body language I could tell she felt the same way; years of experience just made her better at hiding it than me. I met her glare head on, my expression neutral, than turned back to Saren. Alenko looked at me like I was insane, and Ashley looked torn between Admiration, Agreement, and Surprise. I wanted to say more, but I knew it would only make things worse. Saren's next words did nothing to help.

"Your Species needs to learn it's place…Bourne" He said my name like it was a filthy word, full of scorn. Even knowing about Sovereign, I couldn't understand why anybody would follow him. "You aren't ready to join the Council, And your Friend Shepard isn't even ready to join the Spectres" He Hissed.

Fortunately, Udina objected before I could. I used the opportunity to clear my head and I let the council be idiots and ignore what was staring them in the face.

"What we need is Evidence, And so far we've seen nothing."

Anderson put in his last hope. "There is still one outstanding issue. The Vision that Commander Shepard and Lt. Bourne had. It may have been triggered by the beacon."

_'Damnit! I_ thought, _why did he say it MAY have triggered by the beacon, Instead of saying it WAS triggered by the beacon?_

I tried to tune out what I knew the Turian Counselor would say. "I Agree with Saren , we need to rely on facts, not dreams and wild speculation." _And I thought it had been hard to not shoot Udina._

Luckily the Salarian cut in "Do Either of you have anything more to add?" He clearly meant me as well.

"You've made your decision. I'm not wasting my breath" I said

"You've made your decision. I won't waste my breath" Shepard said.

Shepard and I looked at each other and realized we had spoken simultaneously. Shepard didn't shoot me evil eyes this time though. _Probably because she had said the same and didn't want to be hypocritical._ I felt guilty as soon as I thought it. Shepard was a hero, a Paragon of Humanity. She had just been trying to keep the peace even though she agreed with most of what I said. Even if she didn't chew me out, I would apologize when I got the chance.

I was barely aware of Tevos Adjourning the meeting.

"It was a mistake bringing you into that Hearing Captain, you and Saren have too much history."

"Then maybe you should have thought of that beforehand" I shot out. Anderson was one of the few people, besides Shepard, who actually trusted me.

"It made the council question our motives" Udina said coldly

I clenched my fist, a slight blue glow surrounding it. Ashley noticed and put a hand on my shoulder. I forced myself to relax. The Biotic field faded away. Luckily Udina had his head too far up his ass to notice.

"If Saren is working with the Geth, it's for one reason. To exterminate the entire human race."

"What exactly is this history between you two?" Shepard asked. She sounded a lot smarter than in the game, not just using canned sentences. I knew what had happened better than Anderson could ever explain. And I knew where to start looking for evidence. I hardly heard him, because I was considering how to convince Shepard to split into 2 teams. It would be even harder after my actions in the hearing.

"We'll have to deal with Saren ourselves."

"Seems like our best options would either be tracking down Garrus, or maybe talking to an information broker. No, wait, that would be too expensive and anyone could find out besides."

"Who's Garrus?" Anderson asked. I only then realized I had been speaking out loud. I had been considering options outside the two paths offered in game.

"He was the C-sec agent in charge of the investigation" Alenko answered.

I dimly heard them talking about Harkin, but I was more focused on myself. _I was lucky this time. If is slip again it could-NO!-It __Would__ be disastrou_

"Alright, sounds like a plan. Kaiden and I will talk to Harkin, Ashley and Lt. Bourne will investigate the markets." _Wait, What?_

"Beg pardon commander?" I asked her, wondering if I had heard her right. _Is she seriously putting me in charge after what just happened?_

"The markets are a good place to find information. And you said you wanted to look for equipment."

"But after what just happened? You still want me in Charge?"

"Yes. Like I said, I trust you and I can tell you'll get results."

I stared at for a moment surprised. I rapidly thought it out. If I timed it right, I could get to the med bay before they did, and get Garrus on our side. If I brought in the evidence instead of her…I forced my thoughts not to go down that path and simply said:

"Alright Commander. I won't let you down."

"With all due respect commander, Is it really wise to split up like this?" Alenko cut in. Ashley, for her part, looked surprised, but I could tell she didn't mind. I guessed I had somehow won her over by actually standing up to Saren and the Idiot council.

"It's not wise to keep all our apples in one basket. This way my combat skills complement your Abilities as a vanguard, and Ashley's complement Jason's"

It took me a second to remember that was now my first name. It sounded odd to my ear, but it seemed to fit me. I did the mental equivalent of a shrug. I'd get used to it.

Ashley and I Saluted and headed towards the Citadel Rapid Transit booth. We took a shuttle to the lower market in the wards. I guessed it'd be a while before Garrus would be at the med center, so I started browsing. I went over to "Morlun's Famous Shop" and bought a Sighting upgrade for my second rifle. I also bought a few ammo belts and told him to deliver them to the Normandy. I saw a few knives, but not the type I was looking for. I would have to ask the requisitions officer about it. We headed upstairs. A volus merchant had a shielding upgrade, which I bought for Ashley. She thanked me and stored it to equip later. I had gotten some money when I enlisted, but I'd have to save for anything of real value.

"I don't think there's much else here. Let's head to the med bay to restock on medigel"

Ashley nodded in agreement. As we walked in, I saw Garrus was behind cover, pistol at the ready. Several thugs were threatening the doctor. Ashley had her assault rifle out and I drew my Pistol.

"Let her go!" I said to get their attention. I was lining up shots, and Ashley was doing the same.

A thug grabbed Dr. Micheal and pointed his own gun at me. "Who're you?" he demanded.

**Boom**! Garrus shot him right between the eyes.

The rest of the Thugs drew their own weapons. Ashley readied her rifle and I flared my Biotics, ready for a fight.

**Next Chapter: Evidence and New Allies.**

**This seems like a good place to wrap up this chapter.  
>I hope You're enjoying reading "Stuck in a World of Fiction" as much as I'm enjoying writing it.<strong>


	9. Evidence and New Allies

**A/n Ok, I will now never again complain when RWJ or Daneboe fails to put up a new video for a few days. Guess it's one of those you have to experience yourself to get. Luckily, new chapter is up now. **

**Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah don't own Mass Effect**

I rolled forward to hide behind the wall while Ashley provided covering fire. Then I returned the favor by sending a singularity into the thugs.

The low ceiling meant that they were able to brace themselves to return fire, but by the time they reoriented themselves Ashley had made it to cover as well. I canceled the singularity and opened fire with my sidearm, dropping a thug's shield in the process. Ashley finished him off, and Garrus dropped the shields of a second, having switched to his assault rifle. I hit him with a warp field to finish him off. I saw the remaining two be raised biotically, and I knew Alenko and Shepard must have showed up. With the thugs now helpless, Shepard, Ashley and Garrus caught them in a brutal cross fire.

I kept my gun at the ready a few moments, making sure there weren't more. I saw the others holstering their rifles, and noticed Alenko hadn't even drawn his gun. He was holding this left forearm, and I saw blood. I put my pistol away and went over to him.

"We were ambushed by Saren's mercs outside Chora's Den" He said by way of explanation.

"Damnit, I knew we shouldn't have split up!"

"I'll have Chakwas look at it."

Shepard looked up from talking to Garrus. "You do know we're in a medlab, Right?"

"Oh, yeah" _And that's why I never wanted him on my team in-game._

Dr. Michele came over to patch him up so I went over to Garrus. He turned towards me. "Thanks Bourne, you gave me the perfect opening to take a clear shot at that bastard."

"It was a good shot, but you could've hit the hostage. It was a big risk"

"There wasn't time to think, I just…" He looked over to the doc. "Dr. Michele, are you ok?"

She finished applying medigel and walked over to us. "I'm fine, just a bit shaken up."

"I know those men threatened you, but if you tell us who they work for, we can protect you." Shepard reassured her.  
>"They worked for Fist. They wanted to keep me from telling Garrus about the Quarian."<p>

"Fist?" Ashley asked.

"The scumbag who owns Chora's Den" Garrus said. "Used to work for the Shadow Broker, but now he works for Saren"

I snorted "He betrayed the Shadow Broker?" I kept playing the part of a well know ledged fighter and shook my head. "Sounds like complete lunatic would be more accurate then scumbag"

"What Quarian are you talking about?" Shepard interrupted.

"She came by my office a few days ago. She'd been shot, but she wouldn't say by who. I could tell she was scared, running from someone."

I cut across. "Let me guess, she wanted to trade info for a place to hide, so you put her in contact with Fist."

She nodded. "I thought Fist was still working for the Shadow Broker. Saren must have made quite the offer to for Fist to betray him. It's a stupid move, even for him." I nodded in agreement.

Garrus looked over at Shepard and I. "That Quarian must have something big on Saren. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get."

"The only evidence that important would be something linking Saren to the Geth." I said. I was glad for Iron's Poker Face, as calling Tali "That Quarian" was getting hard to do. I looked at Dr. Michele. "Did she mention anything like that?"_ I already know the answer though_.

"She did say the Information had something to do with the Geth, Yes."

I thought I heard a slight bit of triumph in Garrus' Voice. "She must be able to link Saren to the Geth. There's no way the council can ignore this!"

"We need to find her first." Alenko pointed out.

Shepard nodded. "You're right. But you aren't doing anything with that arm. Head back to the Normandy. The three of us can handle this."

"Any chance of making it Four?" Garrus asked. Shepard toward him, looking slightly surprised though she hid it well. Of course I more had to feign being surprised and hiding it. "This is your show, Shepard, and Bourne's too, but I want to take Saren down as much as you do."

"Why would he want to take down another Turian?" Ashley muttered to herself. _That's going to take some getting used to._

We still heard her though. "Saren is a Traitor to my people." Garrus said.

"Works for me." I shrugged. Shepard looked at me, nodded, than turned back to Garrus.

"Welcome aboard Garrus." Shepard said. "Alenko, you head back to the Normandy. The four of us are going to go pay Fist a *visit*"

"We aren't the only ones going after Fist you know. The Shadow Broker hired a Krogan Bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out."

"Maybe we could use the help," Shepard said, but I heard a question in her voice. She turned to look at me, clearly wanting my opinion.  
>"I think we should stick to just us four. Wrex might kill Fist before we got the info we needed." <em>Well, he would kill him, even if the other part was a slight fib.<em>

"Alright. Let's get down there."

We left the Med Clinic, and headed for Chora's den.

It only took a few minutes to get there.

"It's quiet. Too Quiet." I said with a small smirk.

"Fist knows we're coming." Garrus replied. "He must've heard about Shepard being in there earlier."

Shepard stopped before the door, and motioned for us to do the same. We all readied our assault rifles. She poked her head around cover, and it was good thing she had kinetic barriers. Through my implants projecting info directly onto my eye, I could see her shields were taken down about halfway.

There were about 20 of Fist's thugs, not including the Krogan bouncer. I moved past Shepard, firing my Assualt rifle wildly, forcing the thugs to scatter, and allowing the others to find cover. I hurled a singularity at a group of mercs, and Ashley helped me take them down. Garrus and Shepard were on the other side, and making quite a dent between them with their sniper rifles. The Krogan went charging at them, and I sent him flying against the wall.

Being a Krogan, it didn't kill him, but it stunned him long enough to take out the rest of the thugs that had us pinned down. I turned my full attention to him. He was getting back on his feet, shields recharging, but I saw Shepard moving in with her shotgun.

I biotically hurled a table at him, stunning him again. Before he could get up again, Shepard fired two blasts, right into his head. _Even a Krogan won't be getting up from that._ She switched back to her assault rifle, while I holstered mine, and drew my pistol.

Ashley and Garrus kept the pair of thugs hiding in the hallway pinned down while Shepard and I flanked them. Shepard hit one with the butt of her gun to take down his shields, and fired a burst into his head. I got behind the other one, drew the knife from my belt with my left hand and slit his throat.

"You could've just shot him you know." Ashley said, though not quite disapprovingly.

"My gun had overheated" I joked. "Had to improvise" I said as I slid it back into its sheath.

Shepard looked at us and rolled her eyes. "Come on." We went through the door and saw a pair of Dock workers leveling their weapon at us.

"All the real guards must be dead," Garrus muttered.

"Stay back or we'll shoot." One of them said. _Uh huh, I totally believe it. Not. These idiots are no threat to anyone._

Shepard and I glanced at each other, and I could tell she was thinking along the same lines.

"Now would be a good time to switch jobs." She said.

"This place is bad for your health" I followed up, causally raising a fist, and letting it glow biotically.

The two looked at each other then dropped their weapons and ran past us as fast their legs would carry them.

"I wouldn't have thought of that." Garrus remarked.

"Shooting people isn't always the answer." Ashley shot back.

"Well, unless they're politicians" I smirked. That earned me a glare from Shepard. "Tough crowd." I muttered.

She rolled her eyes, turned back to the weapon locker she was trying to hack, and swore.

"You really aren't good at that, are you?" It was hard not to quail from that look. It was hard not to laugh at the same time.  
>We went towards the door to fist's office.<p>

"Do I have to do everything myself?" I heard him curse. "Time to die little soldiers!"

Fist activated a pair of defense turrets. I put him in stasis so we could focus on them.

"Shepard, you and Ashley take the one on the right. Garrus, overload the shields on the other one, and I'll warp it into dust."  
>Garrus complied, and Shepard hit hers with a grenade. She and Ashley finished that one off, while I ripped mine apart at a molecular level.<p>

That done, I turned my attention to Fist. I walked towards him, ending the Stasis as I did so. He pointed his gun at me, so I lifted him biotically. I turned him upside down and leveled my gun at his face. "If I were you, I'd give up."

"You should listen to him. He's got a nasty streak." Shepard said. I recognized "good cop-bad cop" when I heard it, and played along.

"So, you gonna talk, or try using that?" I asked, motioning to the gun with my free hand, keeping my pistol trained on him. I carefully twitched the finger, careful not to actually pull the trigger.

"I give, I give!" Fist said dropping the gun. "Put me down!"

"Have it your way" I let him down but twisted him so he landed sideways on his back. I turned to Shepard. "You've got three minutes, then I get him again" I said, winking, with the eye away from Fist. I saw Shepard nod very slightly in response.

I put my gun away, and unsheathed the combat knife from my shoulder. "And I should warn you" I said looking down at Fist, "I'm very impatient" I tossed the knife from hand to hand.

"Alright, Alright, what do you want?" he almost begged.

Shepard looked down at him and crossed her arms. "Where's the Quarian?"

"I don't know! That's the truth!" I snorted.

Shepard looked over at me "Bourne? How much time did you say?" I glanced towards Fist, holding the knife like I was ready to throw it.

"Wait, Wait, I do know where you can find her. She isn't here, said she'd only deal with the Shadow Broker herself."  
>"Impossible. The Shadow Broker only works through his agents." Garrus said. "Maybe we should let Bourne have him."<p>

Fist stood up, shooting a worried look at me as he did so. I punctuated this with another motion of the knife, holding it ready to throw.

"Nobody meets with the Shadow Broker in person. Even I don't know who it really is. But she didn't know that. I told her I'd set a meeting up. But when she shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."

I grasped the knife in a reverse grip and took a step towards Fist. He backed away, scrambling against the wall.

"You can either tell me where the meeting is, or I can have Bourne get it out of you" Shepard stated.

"The Back Alley by the markets. Not far from here. You can make it if you hurry."

"What do we do about him?" Ashley said. She looked at me, and I could tell she was worried about what I'd said I would do to him. She knew I wasn't like that *any longer* and knew it had been a ruse, but she still was unsure.

I put the knife away. "He's not worth it." _If I had wanted him dead, I would have just said we needed to get Wrex's help. And yet, should he really go free? He's a criminal, and morality points don't apply here. No! What am I thinking? _

"Don't worry; you'll never see me again. I have to disappear. From now on I'm a ghost."

"Good" Shepard and I said at once. _I'm thinking about what could happen instead of what will. He'll just run off to Omega and disappear, I know that from the second game. I need to think about things like that._

He ran. "Good cop-Bad cop works every time. I'm amazed he didn't piss himself. " I said.

"So am I." Garrus and Ashley agreed. "Come on. We need to Rescue that Quarian" Shepard said. The others followed her from the room. I took a moment to grab the data file from Fist's desk and store it on my belt. _I'll have to remember to give this to that reporter. _

I got out my Assualt Rifle, and went after them.

**A/n I'm cutting the chapter in two because it's getting long. Part 2 next chapter.**

**Should be up later today. If not, then it'll be up tomorrow.**


	10. Tali

**A/n continuing from last time:**

As I followed Shepard down the Hallway, I saw her and Garrus duck behind a crate. Instinctively, I did the same, knowing more thugs would've shown up. Ashley took cover next to me. I drew my secondary Assault Rifle, and looked down the scope around the corner. I saw a merc poke his head out of cover, giving me a perfect target. I took the shot and the bar descended into chaos. At least two dozen mercs opened fire. But, while they were focused on me, Garrus sniped several, and Shepard took a group out with a well-placed grenade. They moved their fire- big mistake.

I hit a group with a singularity, now my favorite Biotic Attack, and Ashley and I took them out. Only about 10 were left near the door.

I could almost feel time running out. I drew my shotgun, wrapped myself in a glowing Biotic Barrier and sprinted towards them. I took three out, then the gun overheated. I ducked behind cover, and let them get closer. The first one who got to my position went flying against the far wall. Shepard and the others had moved up by this time, and took out another three. I vaulted over the cover and took two down in seconds, overheating my gun.

The last thug saw this and grinned, leveling his rifle at me. His grin didn't last long. I took my right hand off the gun, holding the barrel with the left, and drew my shoulder knife. "What good is that going to do ya?" he mocked. I threw the knife end over end and hit him in the throat. His eyes rolled into his head and he went down. I grasped the knife with my Biotics, and sent it into my hand. "That answer your question?" I asked the corpse.

Shepard went running past, and I followed, Sheathing my knife as I did so. I holstered my shotgun and drew my side arm. The Rifle was most effect at range, the shotgun most effective for close quarters. The pistol was good for almost anything though, and it made it easy to use my biotics with a free hand. We made our way to the meeting point.

**Tali's POV**

The Turian walked towards Tali. She moved her eyes, scanning the Area. There weren't many places for others to hide, but they were there.

"Where's the Shadow Broker? Where's Fist?" Tali was a bit naive in some areas, and didn't have much real world experience. But what experience she did have told her that this Turian was not good news.

"They'll be here." He said, reaching up to stroke her hood. "Where's the Evidence?" he continued in that oily voice. He moved his hand down her side.

Tali swatted the hand away. "No way. The deal's off." She tried to sound confident, but didn't much succeed. Keelah, she hoped she wouldn't need to draw her shotgun. Of course, that was before she saw two salarians with guns ready appear from behind a crate.

Tali knew she was in trouble. She hurled a combat mine at them, set to explode. It stunned one, knocking it down, and killed the other.

She drew her shotgun, not willing to go down without a fight. She turned towards the Turian, who now also had his gun out and was flanked by two other Salarians. She raised her Shotgun, and was surprised to see the Turian's head explode. She then saw the four newcomers. A Turian in blue armor, who looked like he was C-sec, and a Human Marine in pink and white armor both held Sniper Rifles. They were clearly responsible for his fate.

It was the other two who held her interest though. One human was holding an assault rifle and wearing black armor with a red stripe down one arm. The Human next to her was wearing Black and White armor, and surrounded by a Blue Glow. He raised his arm and the two Salarians seemed to fly up, defying gravity. The woman mowed one of them down with her assault rifle, while the Biotic leveled his pistol and took down the other with a series of well-placed shots. The third Salarian got to his feet, and the biotic threw him against the wall-hard. The blue glow around him faded as the corpses dropped to the floor. He walked towards her and holstered his pistol. The woman did the same, while the marine and the Turian merely lowered their rifles, clearly watching for other hostiles.

"Fist set me up. I knew I couldn't trust him!" Tali said before turning to face the newcomers. The Woman and The Biotic didn't look hostile, but Tali was wary of the other two.

Given her people's undeserved reputation, C-sec had held her for several hours before letting her wander around the wards. And the Woman in the Pink Armor just looked dangerous.

"Were you hurt in the fight?" The striped woman asked, concern clear in her voice. Tali was surprised.

"I know how to look after myself." The biotic looked at the blackened area from the mine and turned back to her crossing his arms. "I can see that" he said. Tali wasn't great at reading human facial expressions, but she thought his face had a…Keelah! What was it called, a smile? At least she was sure his voice sounded friendly.

"I do appreciate the help" Tali said to him. She turned back to the woman, who she was pretty sure was in charge. She wasn't completely sure though, as she could almost feel the confidence of the Biotic "Who are you?" she asked. She was surprised that humans would help her, to say nothing of the turian. She noticed he and the marine had finally holstered their guns.

"My name's Shepard, and this Bourne" she said, gesturing towards the Biotic. "We're looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor." Tali still wasn't used to reading facial signs, and Bourne's didn't change; but by the way his body tensed, and then relaxed she could tell he was surprised that Shepard had included him .

"Then I can repay the two of you for saving my life. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

"Let's head to the ambassador's office at the Embassy" Bourne said in a tone that made it clear he'd rather go anywhere else. "Good Idea" the Woman in pink said. "Udina will want to see this anyway." They made their way to a Rapid Transit Station.

**A/n Back to me.**

We walked into Udina's office and he had his back turned to us. "The two of you aren't making my life Easy. Bourne shooting up the Medlab? Fire Fights in the Wards? An All-out Attack on Chora's Den?"

He turned toward us. "Do you know how many.." he noticed Tali. "A Quarian?" he turned to me "What are you up to Bourne?" he asked. I bit back something worse and said "She has evidence linking Saren to the Geth. I'd have told you that if you hadn't been so busy whining" At least I kept my Biotics in check this time. Shepard's face said that she agreed with what I said. For all her diplomacy between the two of us, it was clear she didn't much like the Bastard either. Though to be fair, maybe I was a bit biased towards him. After all, he hadn't betrayed us _Yet. _I knew he would later on, but still.

Udina turned towards Tali and Shepard and began asking them about the data. I went to the railing and leaned my back against it, bored.

"How come I've never heard of these pilgrimages?" Shepard asked. I sighed, knowing that Tali explanations were often a bit… long winded. Shepard caught the sigh, and looked at me in question.

"I take it you haven't met many Quarians Shepard?" _Great work, now I have to explain it. _"It's the Quarian passage into adulthood, like she said. They leave the fleet, and have to find a worthy gift to present to the captain of the ship they want to join; so they show that they won't be a burden. If they accept, they're welcomed back into the Fleet, and they serve aboard the new ship. Well, new to them anyway."

Tali nodded. "It's also way to gain resources and keep genetic diversity in the fleet. Though it often adds to the reputation of us being thieves- untrue of course" She added hastily. "During my travels, I began hearing reports of Geth beyond the Veil, something unheard of for hundreds of years. I became curious."

"So you managed to track a few down, and managed to salvage a memory core?" Shepard asked.

Anderson cut in. "I thought Geth fried their memory cores when they died"

"My people created the Geth. I was quick enough, and lucky enough, to get a small bit of information. Here, let me play it back" She brought up her Omni-tool and I heard Saren's voice, more evil then it had ever been in the game. 'Eden Prime was a major victory! It has brought us one step closer to finding the conduit.'

I barely heard Captain Anderson's triumphant exclamation, or Shepard's optimistic reply. _I thought he sounded evil before, even when he wasn't trying. But in his full evil glory- _I felt a chill go down my spine. "Wait, there's more. Saren wasn't working alone." Tali played the file again, and I felt the same chill. I forced myself to turn and face the lakes, barely keeping my emotions in check. I knew about the Reapers, what they wanted to do, and yet I couldn't speak of it. I had already realized the universe would destroy me if I tried to change events beyond the breaking point. The Attack on the citadel, the lives that would be lost, it had to happen. If it didn't, my knowledge would be useless in the changed timeline. The knowledge was the best hope against the reapers.

It was a grim realization.

"No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove that Saren's a traitor!"

It was the first time Udina and I had ever agreed when he said "The captain's right. We need to present this to the council right away."

"What about her? The quarian?" Garrus asked.

"My name is Tali!" She said indignantly.

She turned towards Shepard and I. "You saw what I could do in the Alley, Let me come with you."

"What about your piligramage?" Shepard asked. _Just like her to make sure it wouldn't hurt Tali._

"A pilgrimage is to ensure we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?" She said, directing it at me. With a start, I realized she thought I was in charge. Something about the confidence I now exuded, or the way I held myself.

I turned to Shepard. "It's your call Commander," I said, putting emphasis on the rank. "Though personally I'm willing to take whatever help I can get. Especailly in a case like this." Shepard turned towards her. "Welcome aboard Tali" She put out her hand, and Tali shook it with her three fingered one. Judging by what very little expression I could see in her eyes through the helmet, and her body language, she knew about this custom but didn't quite understand it.

"Thanks. You won't regret this." She moved to stand by us. Next to me I noticed. Ashley tensed noticeably_. Is it possible that… No it must have just been that Tali's an alien. Then again, while in game she had been suspicious of Garrus and Wrex, but she had never mentioned not trusting Tali_

I barely heard Udina talking, though that was probably a good thing.

_Is it really possible Ashley would be Jealous? Really competing over me?_ I considered it and realized it might have been true. She seemed to trust me now, and we had ended up pairing up in combat several times, not even thinking about it. We had agreed on several things, and shared a few laughs. I might have caught her interest and not realized it. I considered how worried she had seemed after I threatened Fist. She had raised no objection to going with me when we split into two teams. I realized how I had naturally felt protective of her.

Then the thought of Virmire hit me like a punch in the gut. I was grateful for Iron's poker face.

**Next chapter: Side Quests. **

**I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a World of Fiction."**


	11. Side Quests and New Questions

**A/n. I decided to do a few a side quests for this chapter. I'm not going to write about all of them, but I know a few I will do. If you have one you'd like to see in particular, let me know in a review. **

Shepard had sent Garrus with Anderson and Udina to make sure Saren didn't send thugs after them. If they got into trouble, they'd radio.

It had been my suggestion, and everyone had believed it. _Just because I know it's total bull, doesn't mean they have to be privy to that information._ It was a good excuse to get it down to four people.

"Well, we've got some time to kill before we need to meet with the council. Let's head down to the Wards Markets, and look for some new gear." Shepard said. I nodded agreement. I still didn't know why, but I was apparently now her second-in-command. I saw this might be to our advantage, though, so I went along with it. If she still consulted with me after she was made Spectre, it'd make things a lot easier. We headed out of Udina's Office and heard an emotional Elcor. Well, it was more like "Distressed. Continue sentence in flat tone and say whatever emotion a certain part is supposed to convey." But that was about the same thing.

Shepard went to investigate. The other two followed her unhesitantly. I considered it first. On one hand, if we did this favor for the consort, I would be able to tell if Ashley was really interested because she'd get pissed off at her. But that would mean she'd be pissed at me. And if I wasn't careful I might scare her off. I shook my head then went over that last thought again. _I'm worried about scaring her off. Yep, that's what I thought I, uh, thought_. I decided to just let Shepard handle this. And speak of the devil, Shepard walked back out.

"Come on Bourne, we've got a meeting with the Asari consort."  
>I fell in line. "Damn Commander, I didn't think you swung that way." She stopped mid step. Slowly, she turned around to face me. Her face was redder than a Salarian's. "That is <strong>not<strong> what I meant. Apparently she's spreading rumors about that elcor Diplomat. I want to get to the bottom of this." Her face turned even redder as she realized what she had said. Not even Iron's skills could keep a grin off of my face. "Not. Another. Word. Bourne."

She swung back around. Her face was still red. _Wait, is she angry, or is she embarrassed? Could she really be, well I know she could be, but is she? I was certain I wasn't going to have her Romance Alenko, and I had considered having her go after Liara._ I shook my head. I was trying to save the universe, and I was thinking about who was think of getting with who?

"Excuse me, Commander Shepard? Could I have a moment of your time?" I heard Samesh ask as we reached the bottom of the stairs. I looked at Shepard. "Ashley and I'll go see what he wants." I smirked. "You go have fun." Shepard's face went from 'I hate you right now' to 'If you say one more word I'll blow your head off.'

"Go ahead" she said through clenched teeth. _That's what I get for making her someone who still gets majorly pissed off at times._ I backed away slowly. Ashley and I went over to him.

"Shepard is busy, but maybe we can help you." I said by way of greeting.

"Please forgive the intrusion, but I have nowhere else to turn."

"It's not a problem. How can I help?"

"My name is Samesh Bhatia. My wife was in the 212 on Eden Prime."

"Wait," Ashley interrupted "your wife was Servicemen Narihili Bhatia?"  
><strong>An yes I know I spelled her name wrong. I'm too lazy to look it up.**

"I'm Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams. I served in her unit."

"Chief Williams? It is a pleasure. Narihilli spoke of you with great respect."

God, I wanted to get to the point, but I knew this was important to Ashley so I held my tongue._ Why is her opinion of me so important to me?_ I wondered.

"I'm very sorry for your loss Mr. Bhatia. She was a good woman. What can Lt. Bourne and I do for you?"

**Finally **Samesh got to the point. "I've requested that my wife's body be returned to me for cremation. But the military has refused my request."

I clenched my teeth. "Bastards" I forced my tone to be more polite "Do you know why?"

"No. All I know is that they have declared it impossible for my wife's body to be returned to me."

Ashley put it much better than I could. "Don't worry. We'll make sure this is put right."

"Do you know who's in charge of your case?" I asked. Well, pretended to ask since I already knew.

"Mr. Bosker. When I last saw him he was in the expensive bar over there. Thank you for your time Lt. Bourne. I simply want to make sure my wife's body is given the proper respect."

I turned to go *talk* with him.

"How will we know which one is Bosker?" Ashley asked.

"He's a politician. He'll be the one I want to punch." I Joked. "Don't worry, I'll find him."

I saw him standing against the wall. "Let's ask that guy if he's seen him." _He probably has if he's looked in the mirror lately._

"Excuse me, do you know if one of these people is Mr. Bosker?"  
>"That would be me. How can I help you?"<p>

I turned to Ashley "What do you know? First time lucky." I kept my tone light, but I gave her a look that said 'let me handle this'

"I'm Lt. Jason Bourne. I'm here on behalf of Samesh Bhatia." I crossed my arms. "He said that you refused his request to have his wife's body returned." I changed my tone of voice, not aggressive, but not willing to be turned away either "I was hoping you could explain why"

"Ah, Mr. Bhatia. I'm sorry he dragged you into this, but there's really nothing you can do for him."

_In game, he only listened to Shepard because it she was, Well, Shepard._ "I see. Maybe I can have Commander Shepard talk to you."

"You're with Commander Shepard?" Bosker asked, surprised. _That did the trick_.

He continued. "Well, _maybe_ Shepard can help him."

I interrupted. "Then maybe you should explain it to me, and I can tell her."

He hesitated, but nodded. "As Mr. Bhatia no doubt told you, Servicemen Nariili Bhatia died on Eden Prime. Her wounds are inconsistent with any known weapons. That's why her body is being held."

I tilted my head. "And?"

"By conducting tests on her body, and the wounds, we hope to be able to develop better weapons against Geth attacks."

"You're holding her body so you can Disect her like a Science Project!" Ashley exploded.

"With all due respect, she may save more lives in death than she ever did in life."

I held up an arm, holding Ashley back. "I understand what you're trying to do, but we both know this isn't right." I realized I ended up addressing both of them. Bosker shook his head regretfully, and Ashley stopped trying to get past me and tear the idiot a new one. I was surprised but grateful for that. I wouldn't want to hurt her trying to stop her.

"I'm sorry but it isn't up to you." Bosker said.

_Ok, time to stop being nice. Or better yet…_ "Look. My friend here was in Ms. Bhatia's unit. I really am starting not to like you. And we're both serving under Commander Shepard. It was probably hard enough to turn down Samesh. Do you really want to turn this into an incident? And don't think for a second I'm bluffing. We dragged this into court, I'd be sure you went down in the world and the Alliance would lose a lot of public support" He opened his mouth to speak but I raised a hand, cutting him off. "**Or** you can just turn over Ms. Bhatia's body to her husband, and we can forget this whole unpleasant event never happened." _Renegade FTW. _

He sighed. "Alright, you win. You're right; I'm not going to risk an incident over this. Go tell Samesh his wife's body is being shipped back to Earth. I'll see to it personally."  
>I smirked. "Smart." I let my grin fade. "But I warn you, you had <span>better<span> follow through."

With that I turned away and went to tell Mr. Bhatia the good news.

"Lt. Bourne? Did you have any luck convincing Mr. Bosker?"

Ashley interrupted, and I let her tell him the good news. Before he turned to walk away, she added one more thing. "Samesh, I don't know if this helps, but Nirili loved you very much." She forced a smile. "She missed your cooking and she played recordings of you ever night before she went to sleep."

Samesh nodded. "I know Ms. Williams. But thank you. It is nice to hear it again."

He walked away. Ashley turned to me, eye's watering. Without warning she threw her arms around me and hugged me. "Thank you Jason. You don't know how much this means to me." She seemed to only then realize what she was doing. She let her arms fall and wiped her eyes with the back of her arm. "Any way, we had better go catch up with Shepard."

I was speechless, so I merely nodded. I knew there was shock on my face, and I knew it was impossible to conceal it. Ashley brought up her Omni-tool and Called Shepard. I barely heard her though.

_Holy Christ!_ I could barely organize my thoughts. It was hard to even think that. I realized though, I was more relaxed during that hug than I had been at any time since I had gotten zapped here. It had been the first time I had fully let my guard down. _Guess I didn't need Shaira's help to figure it out after all. But what do I do now?_ I had never had a serious relationship back in the 21st century. I was surprised I was even thinking about it. And yet….

I knew about Virmire. I knew what could happen on Horizon. But looking at her, and thinking about what had happened seconds before, I didn't care.

"Alright Shepard, Bourne and I will meet you there."

I was brought back to reality. "Sorry, I was thinking. Where are we going?"

"Chora's Den. Shepard wants to talk to some Turian general, and wants you to help her."

"Me?" I still was partially in shock.

"After what just happened I can see why." She had let down her barriers before, but now she had them back up. "Come on."

I followed her in silence.

_I am going insane? _Why I was only asking that now was beyond me, considering this was supposed to be fiction. _She's a character in a videogame for god's sake! _But looking at her, I knew I was lying to myself. She was full of life and, I realized for the first time, beautiful. I realized she had called me Jason for the first time when she hugged me. It was the first time I didn't regret not using my real first name. _I wouldn't mind it if it were her saying it._

We made our way to Chora's Den. I was still lost in thought. For the first time since I ended up here, I stopped worrying about what I knew. I focused on what I could have.

I didn't know why the universe had brought me here, but I stopped questioning it. I was happy, and I had made Ashley happy. I didn't know if she really was falling for me, but I was falling for her.

**A/n Wow. I can't believe what supposed to be maybe a few paragraphs ended up as an entirely separate chapter. I doubt that every side quest will be like this, but I'm glad this one did.**

**Next Chapter: Shepard and The Consort.**


	12. Shepard and the Consort

**A/n Ok, for those of you who will be disappointed because of what this chapter was called, let me remind you: 1 This story is rated T (though the sequel will probably have to be M so I can right more accurately for Jack) and 2 this is a paragon Shepard.**

**Disclaimer: I own zip, zero and zilch.**

**This entire chapter is from Shepard's POV**

As Raptor Shepard left the Consort's Chambers and walked past the Krogan Memorial, her Omni-tool beeped, signifying an incoming call. She saw it was Ashley. "Shepard here. Go ahead Ashley."

"I think we're done here, where do you want us to meet you?"

"At Chora's Den. What were you up to anyway?"

"The Husband of someone who died on Eden Prime was having trouble getting his wife's body back for cremation."

Shepard frowned slightly. "Who was it? I get the feeling it wasn't a colonist."

"Actually skipper, it was a marine who had served in my unit." Shepard could hear the sadness in Ashley's voice. She could easily sympathize. Ashley had lost her unit on Eden Prime; she had lost hers on Akuze.

"What exactly happened?"

"Her body had damage from a new Geth weapon." Shepard tell she was barely holding back her anger. "They wanted to pick apart her body for research. Lt. Bourne…convinced the guy in charge to give her back."

Shepard groaned, imagining what Bourne might have done. "Please tell me he didn't shoot anyone."

Ashley laughed. "Actually, he didn't even have to draw a weapon." She seemed to guess what Shepard was going to say "And no, he didn't use his biotics either. He told the guy that he'd be willing to make an issue out of it, lose him his job, or he could hand over the body and he'd back down."

"Wait, do you mean he threatened him or…"

"Not really. He seemed to know exactly how far to go without having to. Just because he's one of the deadliest fighters I know, doesn't mean he has no self-control. He seems to know exactly what people will do, and usually beats them to the punch. I wouldn't want to play chess against him."

This was certainly true, Shepard thought. He might be aggressive at times, but never without good reason. And when he was, it was usually to help someone out. He really wasn't much like a merc except in combat.

"I wouldn't go quite so far to say he has self-control."

"He hasn't killed Udina yet."

"Good point" Shepard said with a smile. "Tali and I will meet you at Chora's Den"

"We going to have the Lt. threaten fist again?"

"No. We're going to talk to the Turian General that started circulating rumors about the Consort."

"You should probably make sure your weapons have their safeties on in case he opens his mouth again."

Shepard forced a laugh. "Roger that. See you there."

She terminated the call. _Could he really know? _She thought. Shepard wouldn't have classified herself, but she still preferred men. Something about Asari though…She wasn't normally as attracted to women, but Asari only had one gender. They may have been feminine, but for them "male" and "female" didn't exist. _I wonder if it's the alienness._ Shepard shook her head, grateful that Tali couldn't read expressions well. Shepard had stared a little at Sha'ira. Luckily she now had her poker face back in place. _Besides, I haven't found anyone, , who I'd want to have a serious relationship with. And I certainly wouldn't want to do anything with some Asari prostitute!_ She made her way to a rapid transport terminal. _It's faster than walking and definitely faster than the elevator _she thought.

Shepard watched the scenery of the Citadel roll by.

"Shepard? Can I ask you something?"

She turned to look at her Quarian companion. She was tech expert, but clearly not well traveled. Shepard wouldn't _quite_ call her naïve, but there we things that seemed to confuse her. She had, for instance, been surprised that Shepard had been in charge. She had thought it might have been Bourne.

"Of course Tali. I like to keep an open door policy anyway."

"Was Lt. Bourne trained outside the alliance? I noticed his fighting style is different from what I learned about on the flotilla."

"Wait, what do you mean 'learned about on the flotilla'?"

"As part of the combat training I had to prepare for my pilgrimage. His style doesn't seem like alliance, but it's not like a Mercenary's either."

Shepard pondered this for a moment. His report had said he was trained by a merc gang on Omega, and Shepard believed him. But his fighting style was just as Tali described it.

"He wasn't trained by the alliance, but I don't know how he developed such a unique style." Unique style was an understatement. He was like a perfect blend of Soldier, Adept, and Vanguard, drawing strengths from each class. He was as good as Ashley or Garrus with an Assualt rifle, and clearly knew how to use a Shotgun. But unlike most Biotics, Bourne tended to use his them more as a supplementary weapon to rely mostly on his powers. He seemed to use his guns to weaken enemies to set them up for Biotic attacks, or use it once an enemy was helplessly lifted off the ground, or otherwise weakened.

His Biotics were unique as well. He was powerful, but he also used subtlety a great deal. He had control good enough to grab his weapons and pull them into his waiting hands. _Though maybe subtle isn't quite the right word_ she thought as she remembered how he had ripped a Geth in two. He was also creative, using his abilities in ways she hadn't seen before. Instead of lifting Geth off the platform and shooting them while they were helpless, he had pulled them towards him and let them fall to their end. And Shepard had never heard of anyone using Biotics to throw knives before. It would fit his style perfectly though if he could get it to work. _The more I think about it, the less like a style it seems. His strategy seems to be more along the lines of do whatever works. Or maybe whatever the enemy won't see coming would be better._ Either way, Shepard was glad he was on her side.

They got to Chora's Den and saw Bourne and Ashley waiting for them. Ashley looked ready for a fight, scanning the area, but Bourne was leaning his back against the wall looking bored. _That's another odd thing; he can look like he's ignoring everything going on in a conversation, and yet he'll still have known exactly what was said. He's good at faking that. _Shepard waved them over. Ashley walked over looking like she was glad to be doing something, but Bourne looked like he was bored and wanted to get this over with_. Or is he just thinking?_ Shepard wasn't sure. Bourne didn't nod, and his expression didn't change, but it looked like he had come to some sort of decision.

He walked over and grinned. "So did you forget your cred chit, or are we doing this for her out of the goodness of our hearts?"

Shepard looked at Ashley. "It's a good thing you told me to have my safeties on."

"I don't think anyone would report you for attacking a fellow officer if you hit him though."

Bourne laughed. "Don't worry, that was my last one. I don't want to take Joker's place"

Shepard rolled her eyes at that. Bourne was who she wanted watching her back, but if he wasn't so good he'd have a lot of problems with insubordination in the future. "Come on"

"So why's this guy spreading rumors?" Ashley said. Bourne went back to looking bored, as if he already knew.

"Sha'ira didn't say"

Bourne smirked. _Oh no, here it comes._ "So you're on a first name basis now? Did you get her com number too?" _Yep. I knew I shouldn't have said her name_ "I thought you said you were done."

Bourne shrugged, the grin still present on his face. "I was. If you give me an open… I mean uh," he lost his grin as he realized what he had barely avoided saying "Opportunity, I'm going to take it."

Ashley started to crack up on the look on his face as he realized what he had almost said, and Shepard couldn't suppress a grin. Tali looked back and forward and Shepard didn't need to see her expression to know she was confused.

"Come on, let's get this done and over with." Bourne grumbled.

Shepard got him back. "That's what she said"

Bourne stopped in his tracks, then face palmed. "Man I set myself up for that one. Can we hurry this up so I can get back to my life? Damnit I set myself up there too."

Shepard shook her head, laughing. "Come one" She led the way in and saw a Turian with the uniform of a General.

She led the group over to the table he was sitting at. His IFF confirmed it was Septimus.

"Commander" He acknowledged, clearly not really wanting to talk. The drink on the table in front of him backed up this theory. "What do you want?"

"I'm here on Sha'ria's behalf" Bourne crossed him arms and leaned against the wall, the Bored expression back on his face. "Your lies are hurting her."

"Good, her lies have been hurting me for days." He leaned forward and looked at the ground. "I've seen plenty of horrible things in my time, and only one woman in this whole damn galaxy can help me forget"

_Why is it people still call the Asari women, if they only have one gender?_ Shepard wondered absentmindedly. It never had made much sense to her, but she supposed it just made more since considering how feminine they were.

"Then why spread lies about her?" Bourne asked. Though from the look on his face, Shepard thought he already knew.

"Cause she rejected me! ME! Septimus! General of the" Bourne cut him off. "Yeah Yeah, I get the idea. You got rejected." He snorted. "Big deal. I don't see why that's worth sitting here moping and trying to ruin her."

"I don't expect you would." He turned back to Shepard. "Look, I…Appreciate what you're trying to do, but don't waste your time."

Shepard crossed her arms. "Did you ever win a battle by sitting in a bar and trying to drink your troubles away?"

Septimus gave a humorless laugh. "It certainly feels like war these days." He sat back in his Chair. "How did it come to this?"

"You don't know how to handle rejection?" Bourne offered with a smirk.

Both ignored him. "So you think it's that easy then? Just straighten up and act like a general?"

Three voices spoke at once. "Pretty much." Shepard looked at Ashley and Bourne. "Seriously. Creepy."

She turned back to Septimus. He seemed to be pondering. "Huh. Maybe you two are right. Sha'ira's worth the effort. If she won't have me back"

"This is no place for someone of your stature general." Shepard said, almost chiding him. She noticed Bourne had gone back to looking Bored. 

She listened to him as he asked her to talk to the Diplomat complaining about Sha'ira. Part of her wanted to make him fix his own mess, but she saw Bourne nod slightly and she realized it was the right thing to do. They took a transport and headed for the Embassies.

The Elcor took a little bit of effort to convince. Bourne kept a cool poker face, but Shepard had seen him shaking slightly, trying not to laugh. Shepard couldn't really blame him. An emotional Elcor was hard to take seriously with that flat monotone voice.

They arrived at the Consort's Chambers, and wisely, Bourne decided to stay outside. Ashley and Tali asked to remain outside as well. Thankfully, Bourne kept his mouth shut this time.

**A/n Next chapter: Spectre?**

**And there you go. Shepard's opinion of Bourne, and Jokes worthy of Seth Green. Let me know if there are any other side quests like these two you'd want to see. I'll probably do all the ones to help on Feros and most of the Cerberus ones but if you have others you'd like to see, let me know in a review.**


	13. Spectre?

**A/n And we finally get to leave the Citadel and start doing things….**

**Next chapter. What? It's still more interesting to make that joke than write that disclaimer that says I don't own Mass Effect or any other media I may reference.**

**In fact, I may not put in a disclaimer for this chapter at all. Oh, wait….**

As the three of us waited for Shepard, I was studying Tali discreetly, out of the corner of my eye. I had seen plenty of council races, but Tali had been the first Quarian I had actually seen for myself. Otherwise all I had to go on was memories from "the real world." _Why am I thinking of it like that?_ The answer came to me a moment later. _Because you're lying to yourself if you don't think this is real. One look at Ashley should tell you that._ _Or maybe several looks_. I was studying both of my companions; Tali out of Curiosity, Ashley for another reason entirely. It still was hard to order my thoughts there. I knew that if she were to live, then Kaiden might not. _Might not? That's BS. The universe will only let one survive. And I doubt the Lazarus Project will be interested in Alenko. _It was a bitter thought, but I accepted it, embraced it. If I stood on the brink, tried to save both, I might end up saving neither. _Ashley is not dying on Virmire! If Kaiden must die, so be it. I'll try to save him as well, but not at the expense of someone else._ Thinking that way didn't make it any easier, but I could accept it now. _This is a military operation. Between Eden Prime and Akuze I think it's been proven that people die in military operations. _Luckily for my sanity, or maybe what was left of it after being zapped here, Ashley interrupted my train of thoughts.

"You look like you're pondering something Bourne."

I turned to look at her. "No, just…remembering past missions. Some circumstances similar to now."

Ashley crossed her arms. "Riiight. Because hanging outside the chambers of some Asari prostitute was definitely on every mission you went through on Omega." She was obviously being sarcastic, but _Is that a note of jealousy in her voice?_

"I meant trying to defuse a scandal, and having to do way too much negotiating."

"You've done this before." It was said in a flat tone, not really a question.

"Defusing scandals, Averting wars between merc bands, what's the difference? Only change is that there's less chance of being killed."

"Somehow I can't see you negotiating unless you had to."

"What do you call me handling Bosker?"

"Intimidation."

"I prefer to call it strategy" We both laughed at that one.

"Some beings can't be negotiated with." Tali said bitterly.

"I'm going out on a limb and assuming you mean Geth." Ashley said like she agreed.

"Of course I am!"

_I sense a long lecture on how the Geth drove the Quarians off their homeworlds, and now they don't even have a planet, and how now they have to wear their suits or die so we humans take everything for granted._ I interrupted.

"Frankly I'm amazed the idiots on the council haven't apologized and given you back an embassy here. At least then you'd have some say."

It wasn't easy for a Quarian to look surprised, but Tali managed it. Her glowing eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "Not many Humans think that way. Or non-quarians in general."

"Governments are stupid, always have been."

Ashley looked at me. "I may not like them but…" I knew she didn't like aliens but she wasn't a total Xenophobe.  
>I cut her off. "Ash, they kicked the Quarians out because they lost their home planet. They gave the Turians a council seat because they all but wiped out the Krogan, after the Krogan singlehandedly wiped out the Rachni for them. In a few years" I pointed to the Krogan memorial statue not far away. "That statue may be all that's left of the Krogan. Not to mention letting the Turians stay on the council after the first contact war. Hell, if they had stepped in between humans and the Batarians, the terminus might still be part of council space."<p>

The two looked at me in silence. It was Ashley who broke it. "Damn, I've never heard anyone curse out the council like that. Or hold pretty much every race the same."

"Where I'm, there's not much room for racism." _Not against aliens anyway._

Ashley seemed to consider my words, but I doubted I had convinced her yet. I saw Shepard walk out of the consort's place. "What took you so long?" I asked, grinning.

"I'm not even going to reply to that Bourne." She turned to the other two. "Just got a message from Anderson. Council's ready to hear the evidence." We headed to a rapid transit terminal. Shepard had a good poker face, but I could tell my words had affected her again. In fact, every time she had looked slightly embarrassed when I brought up the consort. I doubted she had even noticed either. _Or maybe you're just more proficient at reading her because you planned what she'd be like before you got zapped here._ Either way, I was almost certain she was into Asari. I didn't think she was lesbian though, she probably just thought the Asari were kind of a grey area since they were monogendered. _Or she might just be Bi. Don't know, don't care at this point anyway._

We got to the tower.

"Come on, Udina's presenting the Quarian's evidence to the council." Anderson told us.  
>"Her name is Tali" I growled under my breath. Anderson didn't hear it, but the others did. Tali looked surprised, and grateful. Shepard shot me a look that said she agreed with me, even if she wished I had kept my mouth shut. Ashley kept her face carefully neutral. I was more focused on what the council would do though, so I hardly noticed.<p>

I heard the recording being played again, and felt the same chill. I made sure to keep my, Iron's, poker face. "You wanted proof. There it is." It was probably the first thing Udina had said that I wanted to thank him for instead of shooting him for. I was glad for my lack of expression as I listened to Shepard and the council talk about Saren, Matriarchs Benezia and the Reapers.

"They were an ancient race of Machines that wiped out the Protheans." For all his tactical experience, Anderson was not great at being subtle during things like this. Luckily Shepard backed up his bomb shell revelation.  
>"The Geth believe the Reapers are gods."<p>

"And Saren is the profit for their return" I finished, walking up to stand near Shepard. If I had to listen to this conversation instead of skipping through it, I figured I might as well participate.

"We believe this Conduit is the key to bringing them back, and that's why Saren attacked Eden Prime to get the Beacon."

"Do we even know what this conduit is?" the Salarian asked. _Again with the needing 100% of evidence before making any move._

"Saren thinks it can bring back the reapers. That's bad enough." This time Shepard and I were too focused on the council to even acknowledge we'd said it at the same time.

Then the Turian said something that again made me want to hit him. "Listen to what you're saying. Saren wants to bring back the machines that wiped out all life in the Galaxy? Impossible." He turned to look at the other two. "It has to be. Where did the Reapers come from? Where did they vanish? Why have we found no trace of their existence?" _He doesn't want to except it. He's afraid to. Hense the whole "We have dismissed this claim" two years from now._ Instead of getting him my sympathy, it pissed me off that he'd rather run and hide than face the truth.

"I tried to warn you about Saren and you wouldn't face the truth." Shepard began. I could tell she was getting pissed off at them. I decided to cut in, get them angry at me, take the heat off Shepard. If they were going to make her a Spectre, they had to think she'd respect them.

"Your track record for being right about him isn't great. Maybe you should think about that before making the same mistake."

It was hard not to show emotion as they denied what I said. Shepard shot me a look telling me she agreed._ Duh, of course she does. It's about what she'd have said if you hadn't interrupted her._

On top of it, I was now pissed at the salarian for the same reason as the turian.

"50,000 years ago, the reapers wiped out all galatic civilization. If Saren finds the conduit, It will happen again."

I cut in "That's what the Beacon on Eden Prime, the vision said."

"As I said before, we must rely on facts," the Turian Began. I cut him off. "Need I remind you again that you were wrong about everything else up until now?"

"Saren is a rouge agent on the run for his life. He no longer the rights and resources of a spectre. We've stripped him of his position."

"That's not good Enough!" It was only the second time Udina and I had agreed on anything, and we had spoken at the same time. I was now 100% terrified. _Great, now I feel like I need to wash my mouth out with soap and boiling water. Way to go Bourne._ I realized it was also the first time I thought of myself as Jason Bourne, rather than my real name. It made it easier to stay in the here and now. Udina continued like he hadn't noticed. Prick.

"You know he's hiding in the Traverse. Send your fleet in."

I sighed. "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but Udina is right."

"A fleet can't track down a single man."

"A citadel fleet could keep the geth from attacking anymore of our colonies."  
>"Or trigger a war with the Terminus Systems." I said. <em>Thank god I said it before Mr. Tree up the ass. If I had said something at the same time as him I'd probably have to shoot one of us.<em>

"Bourne is right. We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over this."

"Every time Humanity asks for your help you ignore us!" Shepard and I exploded at once. I clenched my fists, barely containing my Biotics.

"The two of them are right. I'm sick of this council and it's anti human bull-"

Tevos held up a hand and cut him off. "Ambassador. There is a solution to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies."

Of course the Turian didn't want to.

"Why not? It's win-win. You don't have to put a fleet in the traverse, and the Ambassador gets his Human Spectre. And Shepard stops saren and the geth. It's like win-win-win." I stepped back after that, letting Shepard take over. I had never liked this big dramatic cut scene anyway. The turian mulled it over and reluctantly nodded. I looked around, now bored.

Shepard held up a hand, "Wait, if I'm going to be a Spectre, it's on one condition" _Huh? That never happened in game. Great, what's my presence causing to change? _ I knew that there would be changes by my being here; even the conversations had gone differently. I could almost feel the universe bending to accept me, forcing all else to change.

"Condition?" Tevos asked. "What condition?"

"Lt. Bourne becomes a Spectre too."

"What!" Pretty much everyone but Shepard and Anderson exploded at once, me included. I was too shocked to even mentally face palm for speaking at the same time as my 4 least favorite people, even if it had also included Garrus, Tali, and my favorite person. _What the Hell? Is she serious? _I had been expecting her to ask to include me in her crew, but this was insane!

"You want us to promote a former mercenary to Spectre Statis?" the Turian demanded. But it came out more shocked then angry.

Shepard was surprisingly calm. "He received the vision as well, and was the greatest asset to me, both on and off the battle field." _Ok, the compliment was nice, but is she Insane?_ "I'm a great negotiator, and N7 operative. He was trained to fight since he could walk, and is the most powerful human Biotic I've ever seen." _Holy… I can see them mulling over it! My presence is having a greater effect than I thought._

I managed to recover from the shock, processing everything. It was true. If I was a Spectre too, I would be in the best possible position. I realized something. _The more Shepard and I are intertwined, the less effect my presence here will cause. I may even be part of the Lazarus Project myself. _It was dangerous to think that far ahead, but if I could make it seem like we'd only succeed if it was both of us, It might work.

_No, _I thought, _it will work._ "She's right. Our skills complement each other, and we have a better chance if we work together." I could see them considering it, the universe bending them as I had guessed it would. _I was right; I can only exist here if Shepard and I are unseparateable_. I pressed on. "If either of us is higher in rank than the other, It will only cause conflict."

The salarian spoke to the others. "They do raise valid points. And operationally it would be the same as one because they would be working together. Spectres do work together when the need is great enough."

The military observation seemed to convince the turian and Tevos seemed to be convinced once Shepard explained the request. She told us to step forward. Shepard looked at Anderson, who nodded silently, still surprised. I walked forward in silence, still not believing. I barely heard the council's speech and the murmurs of the audience.

I was still paying attention enough to thank them when Shepard did though.

"Any idea where to find Saren?" Shepard asked.

"We will forward any relevant files to Udina" The Turian said. _Can't say I'm surprised he's pissed though. He didn't like just promoting Shepard, let alone both of us._

I barely heard Tevos Adjourn the meeting.

"Congratulations. Both of you." Anderson shook both of our hands in turn.

"We've got a lot of work to do. You're going to need a ship, a crew supplies."  
>"You should go down to C-sec and talk to the requistions officer."<br>"Good Idea" I said. "I'll want to grab my gear of the Normandy anyway."

"Anderson! Come with me. I'll need your help to set all this up" _Technically they couldn't do anything to me if I shot him now that I'm a Spectre_. Shepard seemed to know what I was thinking. She gave me that look again. I decided to listen to her. She might not technically be my Commanding Officer, but I still respected her. Besides, we were now equals, balanced out by our spectre status.

"I'd have though the ambassador would be a little more grateful. He didn't even thank you." Tali was still a bit naive apparently.

"What do you expect from a politician?" I joked. "Besides, considering the risk Shepard took pushing for me as a Spectre too…" I let myself trail off and looked at Shepard.

"In this case the risk was worth the gain. Besides, until we find Saren we haven't done anything. Come on."  
>"Right behind you Shepard" Garrus said.<p>

I considered a moment than said "Garrus, Tali, you'll stay with us while we try to find a ship. Ashley, head back to the Normandy."

She crossed her arms, frowning. "If you think you're cutting me out now…"  
>"I meant to get your equipment. I'll have Anderson transfer you and Lt. Alenko under Shepard's command. Give it more merit if than if you're just serving under a pair of Spectres"<p>

Ashley nodded. "Alright Lt-"  
>"I think we can forget rank unless I get promoted.<p>

Ashley rolled her eyes, but she smiled. _Well, I did tell her to forget rank with me. "_All right Bourne. I'll head back and grab my gear."

She saluted Shepard, pointedly nodded at me instead smiling, and headed to the rapid transit terminal.

"That's going to come back and bite you in the Ass." Garrus said.

I shrugged. "I'm sure they'll be some advantage to it." _Like the fact the fraternization is less if I'm not her commanding officer. Or not associated with the Alliance at all. Wait, did I really just think that? Slow down tiger, you have to at least buy her dinner first._

We headed down to C-sec.

**Now things are heating up. This is my longest chapter yet I think. And since I got to insult the council, one of my favorites to write. Expect a flood of Chapters in the next few days, and a lot more action sequences.**

**Next Chapter: Urdnot Wrex and a New Upgrade.**


	14. Urdnot Wrex and A New Upgrade

**A/n Of course I get part way in, Close, and then have to retype part of this chapter. Because the stupid computer forgot to ask me if I wanted to save. I hate you Technology. **

**I felt a particular feeling writing this chapter. That one you get when you're playing a game and you finally get enough points to buy the coolest upgrade ever. You'll see why in a bit.**

**This chapter is more than twice as long as almost every other chapter so far. The chapters will be much longer now to allow for more action and character interaction. I'll still split up the core planets into multiple sections, but I'll try to get plenty of details in there.**

**I'm not bothering with the disclaimer. If you haven't figured out I don't own this stuff by this point, you never will. Wait, did I just put in a disclaimer by accident? Boshtet!**

I still couldn't believe it. Not only was I in Mass Effect, working with Commander Raptor Shepard, I was a Spectre like she was! All because of her. _Is it really though?_ I wondered. _This world only meant for only Shepard to get the vision. Since I got too, Shepard and I are now intertwined._ I had only just realized it. Not once had I thought of using my knowledge to do anything besides help Shepard. This was to partially be expected of course; I had always wanted to help people and how could I do this better than if I helped Shepard? _And yet wouldn't it be tempting if I did become a bounty hunter?_ Yet I felt if I tried it, I wouldn't be able. My being here had warped reality. It was only just managing to compensate for both myself and Shepard, by binding us together; a pair of heroes instead of just Shepard being the Hero. If I played my cards right, It would stay that way, even after the Collectors blew up the Normandy. _And Pressley_ I thought. It was hard to feel sympathy for him, and anyway I couldn't do anything about his death. I had to focus on who I could save. _Not Kaiden_ I thought. I had made my decision on that. I couldn't save both, and Ashley meant infinitely more to me. _The rachni queen and the council are another story though. _I hadn't thought it out before, because I hadn't had power than. I knew what to do about the Rachni; we'd need their help to fight the reapers. _Not so sold on the council though. _I didn't want to kill them on the basis that they were idiots though. I would have to consider it farther before I came to any decision. And where did I find the time to think all these deep mental reflections?

"How is it we're on the most advanced station in space and these elevators are so slow?" Shepard complained.

**A/n. Don't tell me you didn't see that coming. How are they so slow? I wonder if Bioware will make sense of it in ME3. Ok, back to the story.**

I shrugged.

As we stepped off of the Elevator after what felt like hours, I mentally face-palmed. I had forgotten Wrex was waiting for us. _Don't slip up like that again. Come Virmire I may be able to talk him down normally, but it'll be much easier if I get his armor back for him._

"You. Human. You Bourne?"

"Yeah. Most humans are. We don't hatch you know."

Wrex laughed humorlessly. "Hilarious. I mean Jason Bourne. The new Spectre, along with Shepard.

I looked back at Shepard. "Guess news travels fast here Shepard." I looked back at him. "Let me guess. You must be Wrex, the guy hired to go after Fist."

Wrex nodded. "The Shadow Broker Paid me a lot of money to go after Fist."

Shepard stepped up by me. "Only we got there first?" I noticed her hand was hovering near a grenade. _I'd call that over kill, but since it's Wrex I can't say I blame her._ I was only somewhat relaxed because I knew what he was there for. He was like a tank and a dinosaur interbred. With the Hump on his back, he was easily 6'8" if not more. Combine that with those glowing red eyes and the Scars across his face and he was clearly a warrior.

"Not our fault you were slow on the draw" Shepard looked over at me. "For god's sake, what is that, the eighth time we've done that?" _Next time just let her say the funny lines._

Wrex stepped forward. Shepard was clearly keeping her hand near a weapon now. _Wrex won't really do anything to us. Better keep up appearances though._ I let my biotics flare over my arms, and my eyes glowed with that same power. Didn't do anything to faze the Krogan Battle master though. "When I get paid to do a job, I finish it. Alone."

I managed not to even flinch. "I can tell you're not an idiot. I doubt you're suicidal, and C-sec would mow you down in seconds. Why are you really talking to us?" Wrex backed away. _Holy... I can't believe that actually worked_.

"You're right Bourne. I didn't finish this job. You and Shepard did. I transferred the money to your account and Shepard's." Shepard raised an eyebrow. It was impressive that was the extent of her expression of surprise.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Can't say I was expecting that" _Not without sounding mental anyway._ "But I doubt you're here just to tell us that. If that was all you could have sent a vid message."

"I liked the way you handled Fist. Now I hear you're going after Saren. I was thinking I should come along."

Shepard looked at me, than back at Wrex. "You're a bounty hunter. What do you get out of going after Saren?" I shot her a sharp look, eyes still glowing Biotic Blue. "You do remember I used to be a bounty hunter too, right?"

She ignored me. Again.

"I'm not in this for the money. I want to be where the Action is."

I grinned. "I like this guy already."

Wrex continued. "There's a storm coming Shepard. You, Bourne and Saren are right in the middle of it."

"Why us? Saren already has Plenty of Krogan working for him." _Come on, neither one thought that was funny? I should have gotten rid of Garrus instead of Ashley._

"Those aren't Krogan! They're servants. They grovel at Sarens feet to lick his boots,"  
>"Alright alright you've convinced me." I interrupted. No way was I letting him go on a rant about the krogan. That would last for hours.<p>

Wrex shot me what I'm guessing was the Krogan equivalent of a glare and turned back to Shepard. "I won't bow down to saren like the others.

"We'll take you with us Wrex." Shepard turned to look at me. "I swear Bourne, if we keep saying things at the same time, I might after order you to remain quiet"

"Wouldn't work, Spectre remember?"

We turned back to Wrex. "Smart move." He seemed to decide to just ignore the banter.

"Let's head over and talk to the requisitions officer." I said to Shepard.

Garrus made a weird nose I'm guessing was a snort. "I doubt you'll be able to afford any equipment better than you already have. Even with Wrex's contribution."

"I'm not looking for guns" I said walking towards the place. "I'm looking for something to get an edge in combat."

We went in to talk to the guy. "One sec. Looking you up. Lt. Jason Bourne and Commander Shepard of the alliance military, first visit to the citadel, is that correct?"

"How'd you know all that?" Shepard asked.

"Duh, it's his job." That got me an odd look from the Turian. I wondered why for a moment before realizing why. _He still thinks Shepard is my superior officer._

"He's right though. My job is to make sure our buyers are authorized. So, will either of you be purchasing anything today Commander Shepard?" _Ok, people ignoring me and assuming Shepard is the only in charge is going to get old fast. I really need to talk to her about that in private when we get a chance._

"Show us what you have."

"Sounds good. Let me just set you up…" he accessed the record. I couldn't suppress a smirk on the look at his face when he realized we were both spectres. He apologized and opened the select stock. Shepard went to take a look, but I knew Garrus was right about the cost. Shepard's swearing after she picked up a particularly deadly looking sniper rifle confirmed this. _She may be a Paragon and a hero, but she definitely likes her guns way too much. Note to self. Make sure she never gets her hand on a widow._

I turned away from Shepard and towards the Req. Officer. "Actually, I'm more interested in something more commonly available."

He looked up from what he was doing. "And that would be?"

"Lots of knives, about 5 inch blade. I need them to be retractable into the hilt, and I want about 150."

That got me the full attention of everyone in the room. Even Shepard turned to look at me, and she had already known.

The Turian's mandibles were widened in what I'd guess was surprise. "150?"

"Spares. Over twice what I'll carry, in case I lose a few."

"A few? What are you planning on doing with them?"

I shrugged. Might as well tell the people. "Throwing them Biotically. I figure I might not be able to retrieve all of them though, even if I can recall them." I dropped this unheard of idea like I was discussing the weather, and I got to see Shepard dumbstruck for the first time.

"Geez Bourne. I knew you'd have a few, but I was guessing ten at most. Just how many do you plan on having at a time?"

"16 on each arm and another 32 on my belt." Shepard just gaped at me.

The Req Officer seemed to consider it. "Well since you're a Spectre I suppose I can give you an order. But they only come in sets of 300."

"The more the better."  
>"Normally that many knives would go to that many C-sec agents. It'll be 2500 credits."<p>

I activated my omni tool and brought it up. _Good thing we didn't Wrex to help with fist earlier. Even with 500 creds from him I still only have 4000. _I confirmed the amount and the omni-tool transferred it over.

He motioned towards a crate. "You want me to have that sent to your ship?" _And now pretending not to know about the Normandy comes back to bite me. _ "We don't know what ship we'll be going on yet. I'll just carry it myself.

"You sure? It weighs over 200 pounds."

Wrex spoke up. "And if you try to make me carry it, I'll stick every one of those knives somewhere different."

I laughed in spite of myself, and I could tell Shepard was trying to suppress a grin. "I'll carry it Biotically."

I turned back to the Req. Officer. "One other thing"

He sighed. "What this time?"

" is something easier. How much to get an emblem on my armor?"

"Emblem?"  
>I pointed towards Shepard with a thumb. "I want an Ω Omega sign in the same spot as her N7."<p>

"Actually, plenty of people get emblems to represent their branch. You're the first to get an Omega Sign though. It'll cost 500 credits to get it painted, or 700 credits to a metal emblem you could transfer."

I doubted I'd find much armor better than what I had, but I got the Metal Emblem, in red, just in case.

It only took a minute to fuse it on to the chest plate. He handed I back to me and I reattached it. I considered getting it on my helmet as well, as It was collapsed on my back, but I decided I didn't wear it enough to care.

**A/n Ok, I know that might not by strictly cannon, but that's my explanation for how it can appear out of nowhere. I also think the armor being collapsible and segmented fits along, so that's what I'm going with. If Bioware doesn't explain it, I figure it's free for me to take liberties with. **

We headed up the Elevator. During the the looooong wait time Wrex asked me "So Bourne, who do you think would win in a fight between you and Shepard?"

I laughed. This had happened a billion times in game to the other characters. "We talking sparing match or full gun fight?"

Wrex laughed. "I like your attitude Bourne. Most people would question me if I asked them that."

"I'm not most people. And to answer your question, Shepard's not a biotic. I figure that gives me the Edge."

Shepard looked back at me. "Your Biotics wouldn't do you much good with a round between the eyes Bourne."

I made the crate I was carrying wobble in air. "Can't shoot me if I hold a crate between your gun and me."

Garrus put in his opinion. "She could shoot around it. I know a good sniper when I see one."

Shepard smirked at me. "Takes one to know one."

"So you're saying you'd only win if you had a Sniper Rifle?"

Garrus and Shepard looked at each other. "I guess."

I grinned. I biotically grabbed Shepard's Sniper Rifle and sent it flying above our heads. I turned to Wrex. "That answer your question?" He and Garrus burst out laughing. Shepard was not amused.  
>"Bourne…" It wasn't a question; it was a demand.<p>

"I'd listen to her Bourne" Garrus said, still laughing. "She still has three other guns you know."

I dropped the rifle into Shepard's waiting hand and she stored it on her back.

Tali seemed confused by the exchange. "Do Krogan size up everyone? Even allies?"  
>"Yes" Wrex seemed almost surprised by the Question. That just made Garrus and I laugh harder and even Shepard grinned.<p>

Tali just shook her head. I didn't need to see her expression to know she thought we were insane.

The elevator doors finally opened up. I walked out first with the heavy crate.

We saw Udina and Anderson waiting for us. We walked towards them. Anderson looked at Wrex and my giant crate. He seemed to shrug and decided not to ask. Udina of course was too much of a prick to notice.

"I've got big news for the two of you. Captain Anderson is stepping down as Commanding officer of the Normandy. As of now, you two are sharing command."

Anderson turned to us. "She's quick, quiet, and you know the crew. Treat her well. She's perfect for a Pair of Spectres."

Shepard objected. I cut in before Anderson could. "I don't like the idea of taking from him anymore than you do Shepard. But we can't answer to anyone but the council. And this ship is top off the line." _As Tali has already noticed._ She was studying the ship.

"Bourne's right. And it's time for me to step down." Anderson added

"Come clean with us captain. You owe us that much." Shepard said. _Damnit. I wanted to avoid listening to this story. It was boring to listen to the second time I played the game, and that was before I read the novel. And before I had perfect memory._

I set down the crate and opened it so I had something to do while I had to listen again.

"Ask me later and I'll tell you the full story." _Oh yeah, he only tells you if you ask him. _I was grateful for Iron's poker face. It made it much easier to not sigh with relief. I closed the crate, but all eyes were on Anderson and Shepard. I stood up, but no one seemed to notice.

"Saren's gone, don't even try to find him. But he has his Geth Scouring the Traverse."

"Looking for the Conduit." I stated. It wasn't a question.

Udina started talking and I blocked him out. Then I realized he was telling us where to start looking.

" We have one more lead. Matriarch Benezia, the other voice on the recording? She has a daughter, A scientist who specializes in the Protheans. We don't know if she's involved but it might be a good idea to try and find her. See what she knows. Her name's Liara. Dr. Liara T'Soni."  
>"Try saying that three times fast." I said, grinning. Shepard rolled her eyes.<p>

Udina ignored us. For once, I couldn't really blame him. I still wanted to hurl him off the landing pad, but that was more on principle. "We have reports she was exploring an archeological dig on one of the uncharted worlds in the Artemis Tau cluster."

I turned to Shepard. "I say we start looking there. The Protheans, and the Reapers are the most important part of this. An expert would be a good idea."

Shepard nodded and turned to Anderson and Udina. "Sounds like we're heading for the Artemis Tau Cluster."

"It's your decision. You're Spectres now. You don't answer to us."

"But your actions still reflect on humanity as a whole. You make a mess and **I** get stuck cleaning it up." His words were directed mostly to me. Shepard laughed. "You really shouldn't have told him it would make more work for you. Knowing him, he might cause it on purpose."

"Relax. I'll be careful." I snickered. "Of course you might be right at times, comes with the job."_ Like "unleashing" the Rachni for instance._

"Not the Answer I wanted to hear Bourne. Remember: you were a human long before you were a Spectre."

"A human who was raised by non-human worlds on a non-human station. I don't have allegiance to one race, I hold Galaxy as a whole."

"Don't worry, I'll keep him in line." Shepard assured Udina.

"I have a meeting to get to. Captain Anderson can answer and questions you might have."

He left, and Shepard turned to me, giving me that look again. I held up a hand, forestalling her. "Relax, I was just trying to get under his skin."  
>Tali stopped studying the Normandy and turned to look at me. "Get into his skin? I didn't know humans were capable of doing that."<p>

Wrex burst out laughing at her naivety and Shepard and I had to suppress grins. "It's a figure of speech Tali" Shepard assured her.

"Basically, it just means I wanted to annoy him"

Tali looked at us, then went back to admiring the Normandy.

"I'm going to go stash this stuff. You guys coming?" I asked.

Shepard waved us on. "You go ahead. I want to talk to Anderson for a minute."

We went through the Airlock, and the other three went down to the lower level. I stayed though. I wanted be a part of Shepard's speech as well and the thing moved too slowly to get back up to here to help her. I told Garrus to just set the crate of knives outside the elevator for me, and he said that was no problem. As soon as they were down, I mentally face palmed. _Way to go Bourne. Send three Aliens down with no explanation for Ashley._ For once, I was glad the thing moved so slowly. I opened my omni-tool and sent Ashley a quick message.

_Ashley, its Jason. _

_DON'T shoot the Krogan coming down with Garrus and Tali. He's on our side. I'll explain more in a bit. I want to talk to you anyway._

I sent it and went back up to the bridge. I saw Shepard standing behind Joker.

"I heard what happened to Captain Anderson. Survives a hundred battles, then get taken down by back room politics. The two of you might want to watch your backs, something goes wrong on this mission, you're next on the chopping block"

"This doesn't feel right, It should be Anderson that's in charge."  
>I cut in "Shepard, Anderson got screwed over. That's not your fault."<p>

Shepard spun around to face me, and Joker jumped a little. "What did I tell you about being a ninja?" he gasped.

Shepard also chewed me out a little. "You can't sneak up on people like that."  
>"You're just annoyed that you didn't know I was here, even with your Spec-Ops training"<p>

"So?"

Joker finally managed to regain his breath. "He's got a point. There's nothing either of you could have done to stop it. Everyone on this ship's behind you, both of you, 100%" I was a little surprised that people were willing to follow me as well, but I guess I had proved myself in their eyes. "Intercom's open. You got anything to say to the crew, now's the time."

Shepard keyed the Intercom. "This Is Commander Shepard. We have our orders,"  
>"Hunt down and Stop Saren." I cut in.<p>

"We won't lie," Shepard Began, "This isn't going to be easy" I finished  
>"This started with an attack on a Human, colony, but Saren and his Geth won't stop there"<p>

"Saren is a threat to every species in the Galaxy. As some of you may have noticed, we have several non-human crew members aboard. I don't care about your personal feelings about aliens; they're as much a part of this crew as you are. I hear about anyone acting different, you will no longer serve on this ship."  
>"Humanity step and do our part for the rest of the galaxy and we need all the Allies we can get."<p>

"Saren is on the run. He's Scared. We'll give him a reason to deserve that fear."

"Our enemy knows we're coming. When we go into the Traverse, Saren will be waiting for us."

"But we'll be ready for them to."

"Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our sake, but for every species in Citadel Space."

"Everyone is counting on us."

"I promise you"  
>"We promise you all"<br>We looked at each other and said at once "We will stop him"

Joker looked up at us. "Well said. The Captain would be proud."

Shepard looked out the front window, and I saw Anderson watch the ship before disappearing into the elevator. "Anderson gave up everything so we could have this chance. We can't let him down."

"We won't" I told her. Shepard nodded and motioned to the galaxy map. We dialed up the Cluster.

"Hmm, four systems." Shepard turned to me. "Where do you think we should start?"

I looked at it, my hand on my chin, considering. _On one hand, if we go the system with the dead soldiers, the Thresher Maw may bring back bad memories for Shepard. But, It's necessary so she can see how truly evil Cerberus is. We won't able to trust them later on _I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that the Admiral in charge would die, but I reasoned that if we didn't do this, than someone else would find it. He'd die then too, assuming someone managed to fight the maws themselves. _Now I get what they mean in the second game about "being walked into certain death" or having to follow suicidal orders. _I shrugged. "One place is as good as another. Might as well start here" I pointed to the System with the distress signal, and Shepard nodded.

"Course laid in Commander. ETA 22 hours."  
>Shepard turned to me. "Come on, let's get out of this gear." She smirked. "Besides I'm sure you're eager to get those knives installed."<p>

We took the elevator, and during the wait, I decided to bring something up.

"Hey, Shepard?"  
>She looked over at me. "Yeah?"<br>"I know you're used to being in charge, and you're technically the superior officer"

"You want to know why I haven't given you as much opportunity to act"

I nodded

"For all your combat experience, I don't think you've learned how to lead yet. It's not an insult, it's just a fact. In the field, I may end up following you, but there's times you need to follow me."  
>I nodded "Alright Shepard, you have a point. But I'm not going to sit on the sidelines either. You pushed for me as a Spectre so we'd be on even ground."<br>Shepard considered this. "Fair enough."

The doors opened and we stepped out. Shepard went to talk to Garrus, and I dragged my gear over to by Ashley's Table. I opened my locker, stored my guns, and removed my armor. I collapsed most of it, but I kept out the belt and forearm guards.

"Hey Ashley, do you know what happened to my ammo belts? The ones I got for my knives?"  
>She put away the gun she was working on. "The Requisitions officer thought they were for him, and tried to get them." I looked over, a blue glow around my fist, but Ashley was way ahead of me.<p>

She pulled the belts out from under the table. "I set him straight for you," She said with a small smile.

I let the glow fade and smiled back "Thanks." She set the belts on the table. "You want some help with this?"

"I'd appreciate it."

Using the equipment to modify guns, we managed to cut one ammo belt into four sections, and put each pair together one onto of the other. I had two double width belts that I attached to the armor for my fore-arms. I combined the other on top of my normal ammo belt, and made sure it wouldn't impede my movement.  
>We filled the slots with the collapsed knives. On each arm I had two rows of eight, and my belt I had 38, for a total of 50 at a time. If I did lose a knife from my arm, it would be easy to replace with one from my belt. I called Garrus over, and Tali and Shepard came to watch, and offer suggestions. Wrex seemed to be just leaning against a crate, but I could tell he was impressed with the idea. Between Ashley, Garrus, and Tali, we managed to create a system for the knive belts on my arm, so I could deploy them when I needed them, and even fix a small microchip to each knife so I could retract or unretract them at will.<p>

I fixed one of the units on my arm. I tensed the muscles a certain way and willed a knife into my hand. One on the inner arm slid cleanly into my hand, and then deployed the blade. I sheathed it and it slid back. I biotically grabbed several and I let them float in the air. I would work on targeting later. For now I was just happy to have them working. I thanked the crew, and stored it with the rest of my armor. Tali went back to Engineering, and Garrus went over to look at the mako.

_Oh I did not think of that before. I really hope all those fan fic jokes exaggerated how bad that tank is._

**Next Chapter: New Ship, New Crew, and Nausea in the Mako.**

**This Chapter is really long. I'm definitely going to try to limit that more in the future, but I didn't want to go another chapter before getting those knives worked in. I've had that idea as a unique ability since I started this fic. Way cooler than that dumb "tech abilities" upgrade. **

**I hoped you're enjoying this fic as much as I'm enjoying writing it. If you haven't already, let me know what you think so far. And thank you to those of you who have reviewed.**


	15. New Guilt and Nausa in the Mako

**Ok, Chapters may feel a little less like the game for a while. I'm charting a course to get to where I am in the game at this point so I can use that as a Template again. Of course, It'll mainly be battle scenes or things I've done too many times to count. I should probably start the chapter now and stop rambling.**

**Hah! No accidental disclaimer this time! Take that Bioware, who actually owns this stuff instead of me. Wait. Son of a b…not again!**

Joker moved the Normandy through the system. Shepard was watching the galaxy map, looking for any signs of Liara. I was down on the second level, at the Normandy's Shooting range. Of course, I wasn't using guns.

"Nice one Bourne, that knife hit him Square in the Quad." Wrex was watching and commenting. Being a Bounty Hunter for so long had tough him exactly where to hit something to kill it. I had asked him some of the fastest spots to kill various species. He wasn't my first choice of company, but he knew what he was talking about.

At the moment the Normandy was running on a Skeleton Crew. Shepard, Wrex and myself were about the only ones not in a sleeper pod besides Joker. Almost everyone had slept at least part way to the system, but Wrex and I needed less sleep. Wrex because he was, well, a Krogan, and myself because I was now at the height of physical perfection for a human.

_ Does that make me more like Grunt, or Miranda? Nah, probably more like Grunt. But with less chance of breaking everything I see._ I had been testing myself the whole way to the system, partly for something to do. Shepard had come down to practice for a bit as well. Shepard was the only person who came anywhere near me in terms of speed or endurance. I was slightly stronger than her, but not by much. She was in top form as much as I was. I was just designed that way while she had to work for it. I also had much more endurance with my biotics than most. Kaiden and Shepard had both commented on it.

I grabbed my knife and pulled it back to me, sheathing it on my arm as I did so. "I was going for the stomach."

"Either way takes him down." Wrex said with a shrug, like he didn't really care.

"Maybe. Either way, I think I'm calling it quits for now." _It'll be a good surprise for when we get to Therum, but it won't do much good in the Mako._

I stored my armor in my locker and went up to talk to Shepard.

I used the time alone to think a few things through.

1. Squad. I knew that Shepard was pure Soldier, and I knew what most of the others were. I didn't really know where I fit. I clearly didn't have any tech prowess, but my biotics and combat were confusing. I knew I wasn't as Combat skilled as Shepard or Ash, but my Biotics were obviously better than Wrex or Alenko. I figured I was about 75% for each. _Unless we definitely need Tech Skills, and Therefore Tali, I bet just about any arrangement will work._ I'd have to talk to Shepard about it after we got Liara. It'd be better to have the full squad before deciding how to split it up.

2. Biotic abilities. I knew what I was capable of for the most part, but I wanted to improve and get better. If Wrex hadn't been around I would've tried getting the hang of a Shockwave or Slamming Enemies. _Best to wait about Warp Ammo though. A new gun would be expensive if I blew it up trying to figure it out . _

The elevator door opened and I saw Kaiden over at his Console. I had been trying to avoid him without being too obvious about it. I didn't want to get to know him if I was going to kill him. Besides, I already knew most of his past. I had seen Shepard talking to him, and It was clear that Kaiden was impressed. _Sorry Alenko, I doubt you're her type. I saw her staring at more Asari on the Citadel then guys. Gee, I was right? What a surprise! It's not like I planned out exactly how she'd react to everything_ I thought sarcastically.

I walked up stairs. Shepard heard the door slide open and turned to face me.

"Anything yet?" I asked. Shepard shook her head. "Most of these planets are uninhabitable. We scanned a few gas deposits, but that's all so far". I stood next to her, comparing the map to the one I remembered. "Wait, what about Edolous?" I asked. "Isn't that a terrestrial planet?"

"Yes, but there are still hazards there."  
>"It's the first thing we've seen with any chance of it."<br>"Anderson told us to look for a world with Prothean Ruins."

"Still worth a look." I brought up my Omni-tool. "Hey Joker, take us closer to Edolous."

"Huh? What? I wasn't sleeping."  
>I looked up to the cockpit, and could see him checking systems. "You know, if you need a nap that badly, you could just set it to auto pilot."<p>

"It was, I was just making sure."

"It's hard for you to get from the Cock pit to the Sleeper pods, I get that. But next time just remember to turn on auto pilot so this heap of junk doesn't hit an asteroid."

"What did I tell you about calling my ship a piece of junk?"

"What did Shepard tell you about using her as a threat?"

"She wasn't serious."  
>"You know she's standing right here listening to every word you just said?"<p>

"Aye Aye Bourne, bringing us closer to Edolus now"

"Good Answer" Shepard replied.

I looked up to the cockpit again. Considering we were now in orbit around the Planet, he seemed to be manipulating a lot of controls.

Shepard noticed too. "Something wrong Joker?"

"I'm picking up a signal from the planet's surface."

"A Signal?"  
>"Looks like an Automated Distress Beacon."<p>

Shepard turned to look at me. I looked at the map, pretending to think. "You think it might be Dr. Tsoni?" She asked me.

"Maybe. Like you said, there aren't any ruins down there. But a distress beacon like that…" I turned back to the com link. "Joker, any idea who planted it?" _Oh, that's right. A terrorist organization. _  
>"No. It's encrypted. And it looks like it was damaged. I can't tell"<p>

Shepard turned to me. "It's probably not her, is it?"

"I doubt it. But I think we should still investigate."

"Joker, prep the Normandy to make a drop. Bourne and I will investigate in the Mako."

We went down stairs. I saw Ashley getting out of a sleeper pod. "Hey, hold the elevator!" She called, sprinting over. Shepard and I waited.

"Thanks." She got in with us. The elevator didn't seem as slow, but maybe it was because Ashley was there. _Ok, maybe try breaking the Ice. Without being too obvious._ "Sleep well?" I asked her grinning.

"No thanks to Joker's driving." _Don't laugh at the unintended Halo reference; don't laugh at the unintended Halo reference_. _Keep your cool Bourne. _"Come on, he's not that bad."

"Except when he's talking."

Shepard and I both laughed at that. "Say, you get those Knives of yours working yet?" she asked. I flinched as I remembered how one had gone right through my hand when I tried to draw it. _Good thing there was medi-gel handy._

"Yeah. But I doubt you'll get to see them in action today. Mako's not the best place to use them."

Ashley frowned. "The Mako? Where are we dropping?"

"There's a distress beacon on the Planet Below. We're going to investigate. I'm guessing you're asking because you want to come along?"

"Just try stopping me."

"Hmm, it's tempting, but I guess I'd rather stay on your good side."

The elevator doors opened, and I saw Ashley tense for a minute. Wrex was working on his Shotgun.

Shepard walked towards him. "Hey Wrex! You interested in getting some action?"

"Depends. How many people I get to shoot?"

I walked to my locker, and started getting my gear out. Ashley did the same, keeping an eye on Wrex. I motioned towards the Mako. "Sometimes Wrex, it's not about what you shoot, it's how you shoot it."

Wrex looked over at it, then turned back to me. "I like the way you think Bourne."

I attached my ammo belt and knives around my waist, and slid my arm guards with knives on. I grabbed my Shotgun and Assault Rifles, storing them on my back, and Holstered my pistol. I had stored my combat knives with the Armor, so all three were already in place. Ashley and Shepard got into their gear, and Wrex holstered his Shotgun on the back of his armor. Ashley was trying to keep from showing emotion, but I could tell she had reservations about working with Wrex. I made sure Wrex wasn't listening and whispered "Relax Ash. Wrex is on our side."

"How did you.."  
>"I know how to read body language pretty well. I noticed you don't seem to trust Wrex or Garrus."<p>

"Well, this is the most advanced ship in the Alliance. Should they really get full access?"

I rapidly went through the conversations in game, remembering how Shepard had talked to her about this. _Ok, if you tell her who her grandfather is, she'll want to know how you know. And raise a lot of questions. What was it Shepard had said? _"They're not Alliance but they are allies. A far as Saren goes."

"And after Saren is gone?"

"Wrex is a bounty hunter, but he still has honor. As for Garrus, I doubt he'd do anything and…wait, aren't you worried about Tali too?"

"I don't…" She sighed. "No, I guess not. Like you said, her race's reputation is underserved. But as for the other two, I don't know that I'd call them Allies. But I heard what you said during that speech. Don't worry. This won't affect my performance."

"You haven't worked with aliens before, have you?" It came out less like a question, more like a statement. _Not surprising considering you know she hasn't._

"No lieutenant, I haven't. I've mostly had garrison duty planet side."

"That seems like a waste. You're at least as good as Shepard, and I can't see you having trouble with insubordination."

"Anyway, that's why I haven't worked with aliens before Lieutenant."

I decided not to mention she was avoiding my question about the why. Just like in game. "I really need to talk to someone about getting a slightly higher rank. Having a Spectre who's only a Lt?" I shook my head. "Tell you what, just call me Bourne, or heck, even Jason. I'm not too picky about regulations and the like."

"Hey Bourne! Are you two coming, or are you going to sit there gossiping all day?" _And thank you for breaking the mood Shepard. _"Yeah, yeah, relax Shepard."

We got in. Ashley crossed her arms. "Gossiping? Really commander?"

"That's what it looked like."

I laughed. "I was telling Ashley about how Tali said you were drooling over that asari consort."

Shepard sputtered indignantly. "What, how did she, wait that's not"

"I was kidding. Besides, you really think Tali would notice something like that? And why would protest if she mistook something like that? I'm sure it would be an honest mistake and not really have any merit. "

Shepard froze mid protest. She glared at me. "I hate you"

"Noted. So when's Joker dropping this bad boy?"

Shepard got a grin on her face. "Right now."

I felt the sudden deceleration as we left the Normandy, momentum only going so far. Then I felt my stomach go into my throat as we fell. Since Shepard didn't warn me to get strapped in, I fell up against the ceiling. I felt the thing slowing down as the Mass Effect Core activated, lower the mass of the tank so it would land in one piece. I fell back to the floor, knocking the wind out of me, and slid back as the thing hit the ground and rolled forward. I ended up at Ashley's feet. Shepard laughed, while Ashley helped me up.

"Remind to never, EVER get on Shepard's bad side again. I'll probably live longer that way." I gasped, trying to get my back breath.

Shepard unstrapped and got into the driver's spot. "In my defense, I thought you were strapped in."

"Next time, I'll just strap myself in and put you in Stasis so it's you bouncing around." I muttered, manning the gunnery controls. It looked a lot different from an x-box controller, but my time trip training had thankfully covered everything about this tank. I fired of a few rounds from the machine gun, and launched a rocket. "Looks like targeting checks out, all other systems green."

Ashley manned the navigation. Wrex just stayed in his original seat. "Wrex, you okay?" Shepard asked him.

"I. Am. Never. Doing. That. Again." _Man, he looks greener than usual. God, if I clean up alien puke I swear I'm going be pissed._ "Don't worry, now comes the fun part. Ashley, which way to the distress beacon?"

"It's about half a klick north of our position."

"Time to get this heap moving." The mako rolled forward over the uneven ground. _Damn, I had been hoping this heap wasn't as bad as ingame. _It was like the suspension had been attacked with a chainsaw. And then shot. With a flamethrower. Luckily the gunner controls also had seat belts, as did navigation. After about five minutes of being shaken like Bond's martinis, Ashley spoke up. "Commander, we should have a visual."

I moved the turrets, looking at the site. Shepard looked at it and stopped the Mako. There were about 15 dead Marines next to an older looking tank. The distress Beacon pulsed nearby.  
>I looked up to the front. "You smelling a trap too?"<p>

"Something isn't right. There's no sign of what killed them. And they were either killed setting up that beacon, or responding to it."

"Move in, but keep aware in case…"

I didn't get to finish the sentence. The huge head of a Thresher Maw burst out of the ground in front of us. It launched a burst of acid right at us. Shepard launched the Jump jets, barely avoiding the spray. I felt Iron's battle field instincts kick in. "Keep this thing moving, circle around it!"

I fired up the machine gun. It wasn't easy to keep it trained while moving, but when I saw rounds hitting the mark, I launched a rocket at the ugly SOB.

It roared in pain and went back underground. "Keep moving, that thing isn't dead yet!" Shepard headed my words, and barely managed to avoid it resurfacing. I launched another rocket, followed by some sustained machine gun fire. It went back under ground and came up behind us. It launched a burst of acid, right as I aimed a rocket at its head. Shepard avoided the Acid, the Maw didn't avoid the rocket. I saw its head explode, and the weight of its body drag it back underground. Shepard stopped the Mako, breathing heavily. I leaned back in my seat, taking my hands off the firing controls. I was panting, my heart racing. I felt the adrenaline wearing off. "Everyone ok?"

"I'm fine, Jason, just a little shaken up."

"I killed one of those ugly things on foot when I was barely more than a child. It'll take more than a maw to kill me now."

I nodded. "Shepard, how are you holding up?"

She looked like she had gone hours without sleep. "It brings back bad memories. I'll be ok though." It was barely more than a whisper. I knew it had taken its toll, and felt a pang of guilt. _Why in the hell did I think forcing her to fight the things that wiped out her entire unit on Akuze would be a good idea? I could have just told her to get some sleep and dealt with this myself._ I hated myself, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it now. "Wrex take the guns." I saw what I thought was a smile on his scarred face.

"Shepard, let me take the wheel." I felt horrible. She got up in silence and moved back to the drop seats looking like a zombie. I drove over to where the distress beacon was. I motioned for Ashley to follow me out, and she put on her helmet, and sealed it. I told Wrex to keep an eye out and cover us with the guns, then led the way out. The kinetic barriers let us through, while keeping the poisonous atmosphere out. We went over to the bodies. Ashley examined one.

"I think these were Admiral Kohoku's men. Looks like they were lured here by the distress beacon."

I nodded. "It was a trap. We were just lucky enough to survive it. We should let him know once we head back to the Citadel" I looked at the distress beacon. I drew my shotgun, ready to destroy it, so no one else would fall into the trap. I looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger- only to hit the ground, and miss completely. Ashley had knocked my gun away from the beacon. Iron's instincts were to knock her out, or disable her but luckily I managed to recognize her before I acted. I lowered my shotgun.

"Mind explaining yourself Chief?" Ashley didn't even flinch.

"If we destroy it, no one will be able to retrieve these bodies. Their families deserve that closure." I realized she was right and put away my shotgun.

"Yeah, I guess I hadn't thought about that." I looked at it a moment, considering. "Can we change it to a warning beacon? Keep others from falling into the trap, but keeping the location?"

Ashley looked at it, then back to me. "If you give me hand, I can do it about five minutes."

It took closer to ten, but luckily I had basic knowledge with tech. Ashley wasn't much better, but we managed. I radioed Joker. "Joker, check for the distress beacon again."

"It looks like the signal's vanished, all I'm getting now is a warning signal from the same location." I gave Ashley a thumbs up. "That's where we are. We're ready for extraction."

"Roger that." His voice dropped to a mutter. "Best pilot in the fleet, and there making me do suicide runs into a zone they just marked off for danger. Don't know why I signed for this."

Ashley and I just looked at each other. Ashley raised a hand to her helmet, activating the comm. "Uh, Joker, you know the com's still on, right?"

"Son of a bitch!"

Ashley and I looked at each other and started laughing. After the stress of the last half hour, we needed something to take our minds off of it. We got back in the Mako to wait for pick up. I heard an odd noise. I looked at the drop seats and saw Shepard had let exhaustion overtake her. I realized the odd noise was Wrex, trying to stifle his laughter at the sight of Shepard drooling. Ashley and I just looked at each other and shook our heads.

Once we were back onboard the Normandy, Ashley helped me carry Shepard to her cabin, and lay her on the bed in full armor. Ashley wanted to wake her, but I said she needed the sleep after what happened. I went back upstairs, and told Joker to head for the actual system that had Liara. I headed down stairs, and saw Ashley had held the Elevator for me. We stowed our gear, and I noticed something. "Say, Ashley, how come you never installed that Shielding upgrade I got you?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at me. "Well, Tali's armor was so much less substantial, so I gave it to her." She said sheepishly. I smiled. "Guess I convinced you back on the Citadel after all."

"Just don't spread it around. I may have a sensitive side, but I like the image of being able to nail someone between the eyes at a hundred meters better."

I rolled my eyes at that. She slugged my shoulder. I laughed and went back upstairs to grab a few zzzs.

**Next Chapter: Rescue. And Romance for Shepard?**

**I wasn't feeling the vibe last night, so I waited to finish this thing today. So much for a flood of chapters. New rule: Chapters will be up when I get around to it, and I'm not saying ahead of time, cause I don't want to jinx it.**

**I hope you're enjoying. But seriously; I know that I lot of people are reading this, and only about a dozen have taken a minute out of their time to give me some feedback. Thank you to those people, and please review to everyone else. **


	16. Therum

**It's Friday, Friday, gotta post a new chapter on Friday. Now that I got that stupid joke out of my system, hopefully I can beat that stupid writers block and finally get a new chapter out. **

**I'm not going to make a horrible joke about the disclaimer this time, since I already did that with the first sentence. I don't own Bioware, Mass Effect, or any of their characters.**

Shepard woke up, rolling out of bed and dropping into a combat crouch out of instinct. She moved her eyes around, and realized she was in her cabin. She also realized she was still in her N7 armor. She tried to remember how she got here, but the last thing she could remember was fighting a thresher maw in the Mako. Then Bourne had told her to rest and next thing she knew, she was here. She left her cabin, and went over to her locker to store her gear. She had never understood why the commanding officer's equipment was stored independently of the rest of the squad's gear. She heard the elevator coming up, and saw Bourne step out. "Look who's finally awake" he said with a grin. He walked over to her, and his expression grew more somber. "Are you okay?"

Shepard finished storing her equipment, and turned to face Bourne. "I don't know. The shrinks always said the memories would get easier to deal with over time, but so far I haven't seen anything to prove them right." She only then noticed he was covered in sweat. "What were you doing?"

Bourne grinned, then raised his hand. He flicked his wrist, and a knife out of nowhere. "Practicing. I don't know what'll we'll find when we, find Dr. Tsoni, but I want to be ready for it." Shepard barely caught the slight pause, but it was there; like he had almost said something else before catching himself. "You're going armed, on the ship?"

Bourne laughed. "What's so funny?" Shepard asked.

Bourne handed her the knife. Shepard looked at, uncomprehending. Then she realized it was just a butter knife for rations. "What? How did you-"

"That little flick hid it flying across the room. I figured out several little tricks while I was down in the shooting range. It's handy for practicing with biotics too." That explained why he was covered in sweat. Bourne's eyes glowed, as did his hand, and he set it back on the table across the way.

"Show off"

"Says the one who bragged about being able to shoot me between the eyes with a sniper rifle from a billion miles away."

"A billion miles?"

"You know what I mean."

Shepard just shook her head. "So where are we headed now?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Therum. Actually does have prothean ruins. According to Joker, we should be there in about 20 minutes. I was coming to see if you were awake yet."

"How long was I out?"

"About 14 hours. Ashley and I dragged you up here from the Mako. Ashley wanted to wake you, but you looked like you needed it to me."

Shepard nodded. She looked at her locker, and groaned.

"Something wrong?"

"Why couldn't you have told me we're going down, before I put my gear away?"

"I figure the delay might give me enough time to actually get belted into the mako this time." He said, grinning. He ran over to elevator and activated it. He waved mockingly as it closed.

Shepard shook her head. _He's a good fighter, and a good man, but I swear; he's more juvenile then Joker. _

**Back to me.**

I laughed the whole way down the elevator. _Man, the look on Shepard's face, priceless._ I was still chuckling when I reached the lower deck. I saw Ashley was awake, and went over to her.

Ashley turned to me. "Sleep well?"

"Not really. Your snoring kept me awake five pods over."

Ashley slugged my shoulder. I raised an eyebrow. "You do remember I'm your superior officer?"

"You're the one who told me to forget rank."

"Told you it would come back to bite you." Garrus put in from across the room.

I rolled my eyes and went to get my gear. I looked at the other lockers. I hadn't seen Garrus' or Wrex's armor in the collapsed state, mostly because they wore them even on the Normandy. _And since we haven't gotten new armor for them yet, they don't have other Armor to store. _Their lockers only held their weapons. One of the lockers caught my eye, and with a closer look I realized it was Tali's. It held what appeared to be an identical version of her suit, and I realized they were the armored components that fit over her eviro-suit.

**Again, not necessarily cannon to the game, but that's my explanation.**

I turned back to my own gear. I slid on the chest and leg guards, and then put on my modified arm guards and gloves. I'd tinkered with them a little more, so I had a better grip with my gloves, and the belt of knives couldn't just get cut and fall off. I had done the same to knives on my belt. All three sets were engrained into the armor, as was the red Omega on my chest. I ran a quick diagnostic and grabbed my Weapons. I slid both assault rifles on my back, and holstered my shotgun at my waist. I grabbed my pistol, and then stopped. I took a closer look and realized it was a newer model then what I had had before. I looked at Ashley in question. She shrugged, and said "Guess the Skipper must have got it for you."

"I'll have to remember to thank her. Maybe I'll get her a better sniper rifle for her birthday"

"That one the Requistions Officer had on the citadel would be nice." Shepard put in. I wheeled around, I hadn't heard her. "I'll keep that in mind."

I looked at the lockers and frowned. Shepard clearly noticed. "What?"

"Just trying to decide on the best team. Who knows what we'll find down there?"

Shepard nodded, considering. "It's your show as much as mine."

I stood with my hand on my chin, thinking. _Obviously, no Kaiden. I don't want to get to know him if he's going to die. Garrus is good with a sniper, but Ashley and Shepard are just as good if not better. And Tali is definitely superior in tech. Best grouping would probably be Me, Shepard, Ashley, and Tali. Trouble is, how do I convince Shepard that taking her is a good idea? _I shrugged. _Screw it, I'll just go for it and adapt. _"Obviously the three of us, and I'd suggest Tali for the fourth."

"Tali?" Ashley surprised me by objecting. _Here it comes._ "She's barely more than a kid! How can you justify taking her into a war zone?"_ Ok, wasn't quite expecting that. I figured it was the whole 'I don't like aliens' thing. Come on, think Bourne._ I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. An answer hit me. Iron's.

"Ash, she's young but I hardly think child qualifies. She proved that in the alley back on the Citadel."

"But…"

"It's also the best choice, tactically. You and Shepard provide the muscle, while I provide the Biotics, and can back you up. Taking Wrex is like taking another me, while Alenko just doesn't have the combat skills."

Ashley hesitated, mulling over my words. I pressed the advantage. "If we do find Liara down there… we don't know if she's working for Saren. If she is, there'll be Geth, and a Tech expert would come in handy."

Ashley sighed. "You're right. But, only if Tali agrees to come."

Shepard shot Ashley a sharp look. She gave the same look to me. "You do remember that I'm commanding officer?"

"Co-Commanding"

Shepard looked like she wanted to argue, but she knew I was right. "Ok. But only if Tali agrees."

I nodded, like I was reluctant. _After all, I know she will be willing. _We went in to talk to her. I realized it was the first time I'd been in here. Well, first time in real life. The drive core was like a mini-sun. Shepard went to talk to Adams, and Ash and I could still hear him.

"What? No, I wish half my team was as good as she is." I shot Ashley a look that clearly said, 'I told you so'. She just looked at Tali, as though willing her not to come. Not that it worked.  
>"Of course I'll come! That's why I joined your team in the first place."<p>

I fought back laughter. Tali had a very… bubbly… personality.

I was the first in the Mako, and triple checked the straps. Shepard couldn't keep a grin off her face as I fidgeted with them.

"How many times are you going to check those?"

"As many times as it takes to not be bouncing around in this death trap"

Tali turned to look at me. "It's a figure of speech Tali" She didn't look all that reassured. _Though that might just be the helmet. _

I still felt my stomach go into my throat as we dropped, but it was a lot better with the seatbelts.

"Remind me why we use this thing." I groaned as we landed. I got into the gun controls, while Tali manned navigation. Ashley moved the closest drop seat to me. "Next time, I call guns."

"I'll arm wrestle you for them."

Shepard was shaking her head up front. Before she could reply, Joker's voice came over the radio.

"Uh, guys, I'm picking up some weird readings. Like, off the damn charts. It's coming from a compound a few clicks from where you are now."

Shepard answered. "Roger that. Time to get this thing moving."

I groaned in response. We rolled over the hills and bumps in relative silence. Shepard because she was concentrating, Ashley because she had done this for years, And I was too scared to speak. _Cleaning my own puke would be worse than having to clean Wrex's._

I assumed Tali was either used to worse in the Flotilla, or her suit had some kind of anti-nausea medication built in.

I caught a flash of sunlight glint on metal, and swiveled the gun around. It was a drop ship.

"Bourne?"

"I see it. What do you want to bet it's dropping Geth?"

At that moment, it dropped a pair of Geth armatures who began firing at us. Shepard hit the jets, and they went right under us.

"You know what, never mind." I opened fire, and took down one's shields. I shot a rocket its way, and turned to the other one. I saw plasma coming straight at the guns. Shepard hit the gas, rolling down a hill and under it. I opened a volley of machine gun fire, chipping away at it. The gun overheated, but a rocket finished the job. The first one got back up. I sent it back down.

"Told you there'd be Geth." Ashley laughed before remembering she was mad about that.

Shepard just kept her eyes ahead, focusing on the land scape. We rounded a corner, and a trio of Geth turrets opened fire. "They have better numbers and high ground! We need to find another way!" Ashley yelled, watching me firing at the Geth.

Shepard took Ashley's suggestion and took a side route.

One turret was no match for the tank.

Neither were the 30 or so geth platforms that tried to stop us. I couldn't keep a grin off my face as I blasted them apart with rockets. It was literally just 'fire anywhere in the vicinity and they die'.

I covered the others with the guns while they went to open the gate so we could get by. I saw them go into the other building and hit the gates

"Wait, don't open those-"

The gates slid open, revealing the turrets. "Gates"

I opened fire with the guns, and added rockets to the mix. I took one down, but the Mako's shields were gone. I turned to the next, not ready to give up without a fight. The Mako was in flames by the time the next went down. I considered making a break for it, but I realized the Mako would be gone by the time I suited up. Then I saw something go flying onto the turret, followed by another a few seconds later. I couldn't hold back a sigh of relief as Tali's tech mine took down its shields, followed by Shepard's grenade splattering it all over the place. I activated the repair units and let myself calm back down.

Shepard came back in, followed by Ash and Tali. "I can't leave you alone for five minutes, can I?"

"Says the one who opened the gate and gave those things a shot at me in the first place."

Tali spoke up and I heard shame in her voice. "Actually Bourne, that was me. I thought it would shut down the turrets too."

I sighed. "It's ok Tali; it's not your fault." I grinned and turned to Shepard. "Technically, since you weren't keeping an eye on her, it's still your fault."  
>She got into the driver's seat. "It's going to be a long drive." She muttered.<p>

**And so ends the Longest delay between chapters yet. I don't know if the next chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day, but It'll definitely be a shorter wait then there was for this one.  
>I will say this though: Writer's block is a bitch.<strong>

**Next chapter: Liara**

**I hope you're enjoying this story. If you haven't already, drop me a review, and let me know what you think. **


	17. This Was Way Easier in the Game!

**I don't own any of the events or characters of Mass Effect. What? I ran out of jokes to use as the disclaimers. I think you'll forgive me. Or you won't and it'll be about the same.**

"Hah, another one down"

"I think you're enjoying this a little too much Bourne" Shepard joked.

I rolled my eyes as I took down another cluster of geth with a rocket. "You're just mad I called dibs on the gunnery station."

Ashley interrupted. "But I get it next time."

"I said we'd arm wrestle for it."

"Exactly." She replied, smirking.

Tali spoke up. She had been quiet after opening the gate and nearly getting me killed. I didn't hold it against her though. "Isn't it technically Chief Williams's responsibility anyway?"

Shepard laughed. "She's got a point, Lt. Bourne"

"Gunnery chief, smunnery chief. I called dibs first." Even Tali laughed at that. _How that translated I have no idea. At least she stopped sulking. I think. Damn, those helmets **do **make it hard to read expressions._

A siege pulse impacting nearby stopped the laughter and I focused on shooting the armature that did it. Its twin didn't fare much better. A rocket to the face will do that. _Well, if that flashlight can still be called a face._

"Fuck! Colossus!" Shepard's shout caught my attention, and I swiveled the guns around. The thing was at least twice the size of the armatures, and three times as tough. I hit it with a burst of machinegun fire, and it fired a pulse back in response. Shepard jumped it without warning me, so my rocket landed behind it harmlessly. I bit back a curse and focused on aiming. Shepard was in full evasive mode now, so it wasn't easy. I finally hit with a rocket, and took its shields down. Machine gun fire weakened its armor, but another dodge by Shepard, and my rocket missed again. I couldn't get a bead on it, and its shields went back to half strength. I gritted my teeth, and took aim again. The machine gun wore down its shields, but it took another rocket to take them down completely. I took its armor out with sustained fire, and kept on it until the gun overheated. I saw it finally go down, but I launched a rocket its way just to be safe.

"Damn, those things are tough" I muttered, making sure our armor was still intact.

"If you think it's too hard, I could give it a try"

"Yeah, keep dreaming Ash."

We rolled through the tunnels the colossus had been guarding. The few Geth troopers were little more than speed bumps. Shepard had a grin on her face as she backed over one that was still intact.

The tank lurched as Shepard stopped suddenly. I barely managed to keep my lunch down.

"Why are we stopping?" Tali asked.

Shepard motioned out the window. _Damn we got here fast._ No way the Mako could make it through that gap. "Looks like we're going on foot." Shepard and I said at the same time. Shepard and I looked at each other, and I shrugged. Shepard just shook her head and got out of the driver's seat, putting on her helmet as she did so. Ashley and I suited up as well. Tali just stood by the door, fidgeting with her hands while she waited for us. Shepard and I were the first ones out. Shepard drew her Sniper rifle, then raised it to her eye, seeing what the opposition was. I went for my Avenger, and stopped. I smiled and instead drew my Secondary rifle, the one modified for distance and accuracy. Ashley and Shepard noticed, and looked at me in question. "I'm more worried about long range enemies than the ones that get close. That's what the knives are for."

Tali went with her shotgun. "That's not going to do much good at range." Ashley pointed out.

Tali looked at it, and I could tell she was trying to decide whether to use that or her pistol.

"I'd stick with the Shotgun. You can pick off any stragglers these two of us don't finish off." Shepard put in.

I mock gasped. "Shepard, I'm wounded that you think any are going to get past me"

Shepard replied "Knowing you, you'll let some get close just so you can try out your knives."

"That's not… Ok, yeah, I might."

Ash raised her rifle. "Not if I get them first."

I smirked, and took the lead. Ashley and Tali flanked me, while Shepard hung back a bit with her Sniper.

A sniper round hit near me, and I fired towards it sender. At that range, there was no way I could hit it, but it still was enough to make it to cover; Ash, Tali and I got behind a group of rocks. I heard Shepard firing back, so I focused on the closer Geth. _Half a dozen, not too spread out_ I grinned, even though it couldn't be seen in the helmet.

I let go of my assault rifle with my right hand, gripping it with my other hand. I saw Ashley ready her own rifle, clearly recognizing what I was planning. I stood up from behind the rock and hurled a singularity right into the group. They went airborne flailing helplessly. Ash mowed a pair down, while Tali took one out with her shotgun, and took down the shield of another. I drew back my still weaponless hand, and punched forward, flicking my wrist and rotating my hand. The move freed a trio of knives from the inside of my arm, which I sent flying towards them, guiding them with my Biotics. Two Geth got it in the eye and the one with lowered shields got hit right in the torso. Tali finished it off, and I recalled my knives.

The spots on the back of my wrist were now vacant; the knives moved to the inside of the arm to replace the ones I threw. I replaced the knives on the outside of my arms and waved the group forward.

More were waiting for us. Shepard kept her attention on the snipers, while Ashley and I mowed down the ones that got closer. Tali's shotgun wasn't much good at that range, but she supported our fire with various tech attacks. I laughed as I saw a Geth turn on its partner. I finished off the weakened Geth and Warped the one that Tali had hacked.

"Too bad these things don't show expression" Ashley said over the sounds of gunfire.

"What do you mean?" I shot back, before warping a rocket drone.

"I'd like to see them surprised when they go to fire their guns and realize it's been sabotaged to think it's overheated."

I laughed and took down another one. I saw the one next to it drop, and realized Shepard had moved up. She got behind cover a few meters over and switched to her Assault Rifle. Only a few were left down in the valley, and Shepard had completely cleared the ridge. They had finally learned to get behind cover, and were getting nearly impossible to hit from range.

I put my assault rifle away and drew my shotgun. I vaulted over my cover, wrapping myself in a Biotic Barrier as I did so. I ran towards them, their fire bouncing harmlessly off. I could see with my HUD projected onto my eyes that my shields were nearly doubled the norm thanks to the Barrier. They were still almost depleted by the time I got down there. I rolled behind cover, letting my shields recharge. I waited for one to get closer.

In game I could see what was on the other side of cover by moving the camera. Didn't work that way in real life though. While I was watching one side, a Geth flanked me. It took down my Shields before I even turned around. I fired a blast from my shotgun, but it barely took down the shields. A warning sounded in my earpiece. My shields were completely depleted. I dropped my gun, and Biotically ripped the Geth's rifle out of its arms. Luckily, with so few Geth left to network with, it took a couple of seconds for it to react to the move. I used those precious seconds to punch it right in the torso, denting it. It would've broken my hand, punching metal, if I hadn't Biotically shielded it. The Geth stumbled back, and I grabbed my Shotgun from the ground. I fired at its chest, blowing it open, and it went down. I heard the other platforms collapse, and saw the other three running towards me. Shepard and Ashley's assault rifles were still smoking, and Tali had her Omni-tool at the ready.

I switched to my Avenger and waited for them to get closer.

"That was kind of a risky move Bourne" Shepard said as she approached me.

"What were you thinking Jason?" Ash put in. I could tell she had barely kept from shouting it.

"Who said I was thinking? Sometimes you just have to react."

"That's how you get killed!"

"They had us pinned down. I had to improvise. What would you have suggested?"

Ash stopped cold. She sighed. "Pretty much what you did."

Shepard interrupted, already moving up the hill "We can talk about it when we aren't being shot at"

I laughed and followed her. "When aren't we being shot at?"

We moved up the hill, keeping an eye out for hostiles. Well, that's what they were doing. I was waiting for them to appear. I knew that the colossus would be hard to take down, and was grateful that Shepard still had grenades.

We moved in, and I saw the Geth hanging on the ceiling. I warped it and it fell to the ground. Then a whole bunch of Geth fell from the drop ship to the ground. I saw the colossus unfold and ducked behind cover. Shepard got into cover next to me, while Ash and Tali took cover behind another crate.

Shepard ducked out and hurled a grenade at the colossus. It barely scratched it. "Tali, can you take down its Shields?" I asked as I threw a knife at one of the Snipers.

"I don't know! Its shields are a lot more advanced." She still activated her Omni-tool, and its shields depleted after a few seconds. Ashley and I hit with some sustained fire and they dropped completely. "Shepard, hit it with another grenade!" I yelled.  
>"I can't! I'm out!"<p>

I bit back a curse. I had been counting on the grenades to save our sorry asses. "Perfect."

I snuck my head around the corner, only to immediately duck back and put up a barrier. The pulse launched by the colossus impacted only inches from the crate. It completely tore apart my barrier, and partially depleted Shepard's shields. I knew it would take a lot to take it down.

"Shepard, switch to your Sniper Rifle, and aim for its eye!" Shepard complied, and started firing at it. It was weakened by the high powered shots. I shot at it from my end, the chemical rounds further weakening it. Ashley and Tali were keeping the other Geth distracted. Finally, the colossus shuddered, and collapsed.

I looked over to Ashley, only to see a Geth with a shotgun ready to blow her head off! The seconds passed as a blur, my adrenaline spiking. Next thing I knew, I stood over the Geth's corpse, my rifle smoking in my right hand, my left glowing blue. I realized Ashley was in Stasis, thanks to me. _I must have put in her stasis instinctively to protect her, than tore this thing a new one._ I ended the stasis, and she wheeled around, her muscles responding to signal she had been unable to properly relay before. She lowered her gun once she realized it was me. She looked at the corpse, then back at me. She was shaking slightly, not surprising.

"You…You just saved my life!"

A Geth choose that moment to fire at me, and I threw a knife its way. I hit it in the torso, though I was aiming for the head. It still hurt it, though. It stopped, and I used the opportunity to hit it with a burst of rifle fire. _Apparently I still need to practice with my left hand. I can't through nearly as accurately with that hand. Maybe I can get bigger, more damaging knives to replace the lack of accuracy._ I recalled and stored the knife, then holstered my rifle and drew my sidearm. I took down a Sniper, and Tali finished off the last trooper with her Shotgun.  
>I scanned the battlefield, making sure there weren't any more, then turned back to Ashley, lowering my pistol. "You OK?"<p>

"Thanks to you. I didn't even see what happened"

"These things are practically designed to be ambushers. They don't even breath" My words carried a weight of reassurance, but it was fake. I was only then realizing how I covered the distance in seconds. _I biotically charged it? But, no, that's impossible!_ But the more my hyper fast mind thought it through, the more sense it made. _But I can hurl singularities, and only adepts can do that. I shouldn't be able to charge too_! I thought it out more. _This isn't a game though, and it's not limited for 'gamer experience' to be more challenging. I'm clearly not fitted into any of the three classes._ I thought back to how I had done it, and I had no idea._ Adrenaline spike let me do it. No other explanation, it was a freak accident._ I was grateful for the helmet, as I wasn't sure I could keep my poker face. I decided to focus on the mission and worry about it later, if ever.

I followed the others into the complex, removing my helmet as I did so. Ash and Shepard did the same. Tali switched to her pistol, better for range. I switched my pistol to my left hand, flicking my wrist and sending several knives into my right. A few Geth were waiting for us, but they didn't last long. I sent a tight grouping of knives into one's chest, and it fell backwards to the ground, landing in pieces. I shot another Geth, while the others finished off the rest. I knew there was no way I was getting the three knives back, so I replaced them with three from my belt. I rounded a corner, and another Geth was waiting for me. I threw it against the wall, and shot it a few times. That did the trick. We moved down the rest of the platform without incident and headed towards the elevator. The others holstered their guns, and I did the same. Ashley looked over the railing, then turned to me. "Dare you to spit over the side" She said with a smirk. I spotted a part of the Geth my knives had taken out, and complied, hitting it dead on.  
>I turned to Ashley. "So what's my prize?" I grinned. That earned me another slug on the shoulder, which earned her a laugh.<p>

Shepard moved into the elevator, motioning us to follow. It dropped a few floors and we got out. I had forgotten there would be drones waiting for us, and I had my shields taken down. I warped one in response, while Tali's shotgun accounted for another one, and Ashley shot down a third.

We boarded the elevator I had been thinking of, and after a few moments it suddenly stopped. I jumped forward out of the elevator, and waved the others to follow. Shepard dropped to the lower level, rifle raised, ready for more Geth. I didn't bother, knowing what we'd really find.

"Uh, Hello? Can somebody help me? Please?"

**That's going to do it for this chapter. I hope you're enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it.**

**And even though I doubt many of you will, I'll ask you any way. If you haven't already, let me know what you think. And thank you to those who have reviewed. **


	18. Liara

**Two quick things:**

**1: I'm going to try to update this story more frequently, but I'm now doing another series at the same time, so I'm splitting my focus between both.**

**2: Luckily, I already have several parts of the sequel mapped out, so once I finish this story that one should go up much quicker.**

**I don't own Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.**

"Uh, Hello? Could somebody help me? Please?"

Shepard started at the sound of Liara's voice, but I had known it was coming. She and I approached it, while Tali and Ashley watched our backs.

"Can you hear me out there? I am trapped and need help!" I didn't need Iron's skills to know she was panicking.

"Liara T'soni I presume?" I joked, trying to lessen the mood. Shepard shot me a death glare that clearly told me to shut up. Not that it worked anymore. _Well, a little less at least. _

_"_We're here to get you out of here" Shepard assured her.

"Thank the Goddess. I didn't think anybody would come for me." By her tone, I could tell she was slightly reassured by the offer of help, but still understandably worried. My mind began racing, calculating. _Should I let Shepard handle this, or should I also help? Shepard is naturally good at this sort of thing, but I know most of these people like the back of my hand. _I considered something else. In some cases, Renegade would work better, and I could reach the point faster then. _But I'd still rather avoid that. Either way, sometimes it's better to be efficient than nice._

"What is this thing?" I pretended to ask as I put my hand against the barrier.

"It's a prothean security curtain; I activated it to keep out the Geth."

Shepard spoke up. "Looks like it's doing a better job of keeping you in. Any ideas how to get it off?"

I resisted making a crack about that last part, and said "It's pretty obvious we can't get through it, and I don't see a way to turn it off from here. We'll have to find some way around it, and deactivate it from in your side."

"Uh Jason? Her mother is working with Saren. How do we know we can trust her?" _Ok, I really should have seen that coming. So apparently I know everyone but **Ashley **like the back of my hand. _

"What? I am not on his side, or anybody's. I may be Benezia's daughter, but I am nothing like her-"

I spun around to face her. "Ash, now is really not a good time. How about we worry about it when there aren't Geth shooting at us?" I punctured my statement by warping a Geth that had snuck up behind her.

Shepard spun around before it even hit the ground, Sniper rifle already in hand. She took out a pair of Geth down below us before her rifle overheated. Ashley provided covering fire, scattering the Geth, while I drew my Avenger.

"I'm starting to take these things personally" I joked as I took one down. I saw a tightly packed group and let loose a singularity. "But then again, they're probably taking those personally" Shepard shot back as she took two of the trapped Geth down with headshots.

I took out the other three in the group with a warp and my rifle, and then waved the others down the platform while I covered them. As soon as they reached the bottom, Shepard's voice came over my earpiece. "Ok Bourne, now you get down here."

I stored my rifle on my back, and drew my shotgun. I jumped over the edge, cradling my fall with my barrier, and rolling to decrease the momentum. I landed in front of two surprised Geth, who each a got a shotgun to the face. "Showoff" Shepard muttered.

I grinned, and threw a Geth against a wall. Tali took it down with her pistol, having chosen the longer ranged weapon. I saw a flash to my right and rolled forward, barely avoiding the rocket. I spun around to face it, but Shepard took it down before I even turned. Two more Geth came towards me, their rifles chipping away at my shields. I threw them into another group, and saw an explosion come from that direction.

"Nice shot Skipper!" Ashley grinned as she took down another Geth. _Oh, Shepard must have hit an explosive crate or something._

I turned to thank Shepard, but instead saw another Geth leveling its gun at me. I just flicked my wrist and biotically sent it stumbling back slightly, another trick I had picked up from practicing on the Normandy. My shotgun took its head right off. I heard a few more rifle shots from Shepard, then nothing.

"Looks like that's all of them Shepard" Tali said. I holstered my shotgun, but drew my pistol just in case.

I walked over to Shepard. She had her rifle away and her pistol in her hand as a backup. I motioned to it. "Smart minds think alike, eh?"

"Do you ever stop cracking jokes?"

"I've gotta sleep sometime."

Tali interrupted us. "Do either of you see a way around?"

Shepard turned, scanning the room. She turned to me, but she just saw my back, as I was already heading towards the mining laser. I called back "I don't see any way to get around, but here's a way through it."

I opened the controls, and the others walked over.

"Bourne, do you even know how to work that thing?"

"Personally Jason, I'd rather not have you hit the wrong thing and bring the whole place down on us."

"Maybe I can get it working." Tali put in. I moved aside, and she took a few seconds to study it. She pushed a few buttons, then the boring laser cut through the way blocking our way.

"Nice work Tali" Shepard appraised her.

"See Ash? I told you bringing her was a good call."  
>"Shut up Jason"<p>

We moved down the tunnel, and activated the lift, reaching the same level that Liara was on.

As we approached, she turned her head back to face us. "Oh, how did you-"

I cut her off. "We blasted our way through with that giant mining laser."

"Oh, of course, that makes sense. Please, get me out of here before more Geth arrive."

Shepard was already halfway to the release panel, then Ashley spoke back up. "Well, I don't see any Geth now. What were we talking about before? Oh, that's right-"

"Ash." It wasn't a request to shut up, it was clearly an order. Even I felt quailed a little by Shepard's voice.

Luckily Liara didn't seem to have heard.

"That button there should turn off the containment field." She told Shepard. Shepard hit it and released her, dropping her to the ground. Liara stood up, brushing herself off.

"Do you know how we get out of here?" Tali asked.

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower. At least, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here."

"Great, now I'm totally reassured." Ash put in. Shepard shot her a death glare and she shut up.

"Let's get moving" Shepard said

We proceed in silence, not wanting to attract more Geth attention.

Eventually, we reached the Elevator. "I still cannot believe all this. Why would the Geth come after me?"

"No idea. Maybe because you're Benezia's daughter, but I really doubt it, seeing as they seem to be trying to kill you." That got me a very strange look from Ashley_. Probably pissed I'm still defending her._

"Saren's looking for the conduit. Think fast, Ms. Prothean expert." She took several steps back as both Shepard and I gave her a 'shut the hell up' look. "Not helping!" Shepard hissed. I barely fought back the same. _She has been through a lot, considering she almost had her head blown off. It's only natural she'd be even more anti alien. _

Liara seemed lost in thought a moment. "The Conduit? But I don't know-" her words were cut off as a tremor shook us.

"Well, that's just great" I said sarcastically.

"These ruins are unstable. That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event." Liara said.

"What? Oh Keelah, I knew I should have-"

"Tali, it's not your fault. It's mine, but how about we worry about who caused what, once there isn't an immediate threat of being buried in rubble."

"He's right. We have to hurry" Liara agreed, activating the lift.

Shepard raised her hand her to ear piece and radioed Joker. "Joker, get the Normandy airbourne and lock in on my signal!"

"Aye Aye, ETA 8 minutes."

I grinned nonhumorously "For the record Joker, if we die because you don't get here in time, I'm going to come back and haunt you."

"Really Bourne? Another horrible Joke? Even now?"

"Damn straight. Get here double time."

The lift began rising, and I flicked several knives into each hand. I seemed to have the right idea considering the Krogan that was waiting for us at the top of the lift.

Shepard waved her hand back, signaling Liara to back up, away from the fight.

"Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun." His face was expressionless, even with the Joke.

"There had better be a good reason you're in our way." My face had the same lack of expression, but my voice was deathly cold. It said that if he didn't leave, I'd kill him. _Hopefully he doesn't realize I'm partially bluffing_. _I am ready to take him out, but I'll be damned if I'm sure that I actually can. _I fingered my knives.

"The same reason you're here. The Asari. Thanks for getting rid of those energy beams for us. Now hand the Doctor over."  
>Shepard unholstered her rifle, bringing it around to a ready position. "Not happening."<p>

"You don't have a choice."

"You do. Leave or die." Shepard stated, raising her rifle.

"Saren always gets what he wants" He shot back, drawing his shotgun.

I stepped forward. "Not today" My biotics flared across my arms. "You deal with the Geth." I said over my shoulder to Shepard. "This idiot is mine."

I threw my arms in a horizontal sweeping motion, sending the knives towards his face. He rolled to the side, only one so much as scratching him.

"That the best you got?" He taunted, raising his shotgun, and firing right at me. I rolled to left and landed in a crouch. I saw my shields go down and knew it was only a near miss.  
>"No. But this is pretty close." I smirked darkly. I threw my arms back, then together, pointed in his direction. He roared in pain as my knives reversed direction and stuck into his hump. It was a source of energy and life, so Krogans protected it instinctively, and it was painful if it was hit. He threw a Warp field at me. I created a biotic barrier. It tore right through it, but the effect was lost. I spread my arms, wide as they could go, and freed all 26 remaining knives from my arms, holding them in the air biotically.<p>

I saw his eyes widen slightly, seeing what I was about to do. I brought my arms together, and the clap heralded his death. All 26 knives flew at him, even as the clap created a solid ball of energy that shot forward and knocked him back against the wall. He was stunned for a moment, then looked up, only for the knives to be his last site. Several stuck in his throat, one in his eye, most sticking into his head plate. I felt a momentary sense of gratefulness to Wrex as I saw the knife that landed right in the middle of where the plate joined his head. He told me that it lead straight to the brain, and that's where I had been aiming.

Suddenly, I felt, rather than saw, something behind me, and I rolled forward, under a gunshot. As I rolled, my head was temporally facing towards where I had come from, and I saw a Geth with a shotgun freeze for a moment, processing the fact that I was still alive. I landed, and threw my arms behind me. A few of the knives flew out of the Krogan and hit it with their blunt ends. One, more by luck than anything, went into the eye, a blinding hit. It moved its shotgun wildly, trying to hear me. I rolled again, backwards this time, and went right past its legs. It spun, trying to kill me in spite of its blindness, but I ducked below its gun, and drew my boot knife. I stuck the knife into its abdomen and slashed up, then across its neck. My knife was covered in its synthetic blood as it fell.  
>"Bourne, come on!" Shepard's voice snapped me out of my all-consuming focus on <span>my<span> battles and survival. I hadn't even heard them killing the rest of the Geth. I ran towards them, and as I did so, the barrier blocking our way fell. We ran through the site, debris falling all around us.

"Come on! Move!" I didn't even know if I shouted it, Shepard shouted it, or we both did. We ran across a walkway, out a door, and ended up on a platform high above the ground. Not where we were supposed to be.

_Fuck. My delay must have collapsed the normal exit. _I heard the Normandy swooping in, and looked towards the end of the platform. I saw it hovering in air, its back hatch open, Garrus and Kaiden waving us towards it. Shepard ran towards it, followed by Ashley and Tali. I delayed a split second, Kaiden's presence raising those same horrible emotions as always. I felt the platform shake, snapping me back to reality. I ran towards the Ship, behind the others. I felt the platform shake again, and this time I saw pillars collapse behind us. I ran even faster, pushed by adrenaline. I saw Shepard and the Other two getting closer, but in my peripheral vision, I saw the platform starting to collapse.

The emptiness caused by a lack of platform seemed to follow me, gaining on me. I ran faster than I ever had before, my newly acquired stamina coming into play. I started catching up to Shepard. She and the others were less than 20 feet away. I was almost 40, the collapse right on my heals. I frantically tried to charge forward like I had before, but I was unable to do it. I didn't know why that was, but I did know one thing. _I'll be damned if I let them die because of me, my presence in this universe. _

I shot my arm forward, lifting and throwing them into the Normandy. Kaiden caught Shepard and Ashley with his Biotics, while Tali, being lighter, flew into Garrus' surprised arms. Liara activated her Biotics, and floated into the Ship under her own power. I still ran towards it, not willing to give up, but I felt the ground beneath me give way, and it started to fall. I tried charging again, but was unable to.

I felt my stomach go into my throat as I fell, but despite this I was quite calm. _I should have known the universe would realize killing me off was the easiest way to keep things the same. My days were always numbered here. At least the others got out safely._ I closed my eyes and waited for the end.

I suddenly felt a Jerk as I began to slow down. My eyes snapped open again, and I say I was surrounded by a blue biotic glow, and not my own. I looked up towards the Normandy and saw both Kaiden and Liara leaning out, both glowing biotically. I realized that was what was keeping me from falling to my death. I activated my own biotics, trying to lessen how much they had to do. I knew Kaiden wasn't nearly as strong as I was, and was unsure how long Liara could last after being stuck in that barrier for who knows how long.

Then I saw Wrex appear, also glowing biotically. The scarred battle master added his biotics to ours, and I felt myself rising faster.

After about a minute, we finally succeed in getting me level with the Normandy, and they pulled meinside, seconds before the hatch closed as we left the atmosphere. I collapsed on the floor as the others finally wore out their Biotics. Even Wrex was panting from the effort.

I stayed there a moment, then Ashley helped me to my feet. She stood there a moment, then , as she had once before, threw her arms around me. "Thank god. I thought we had lost you." I could see tears of relief streaming down her face.

This time I hugged her back, and gasped as pain shot up my right side. I looked down to see blood dripping from holes in my armor onto the floor. _So much for near miss._ _Guess that Krogan hit me after all._

I felt my eyes roll back as I collapsed. I was dimly aware of Ashley and Shepard calling my name, then blackness overtook all.

**Well, that grim cliff hanger should motivate me to write a 19th chapter sooner. It ought to be up by Tuesday, at the absolute latest. Sorry about the Lack of updates, but I've been busy with other things. **

**I do have a few minor things I want to talk about real fast.**

**1: The end of this chapter, from the Krogan to my collapse, was obviously less like the game. Do you think having things more like this, using the game as more of a guideline then a script, works better? I'm not going to go all out like some stories, but I might be able to work faster if I'm not having to adhere to someone else's ideas as much. I want the reader's input though.**

**2: Part of the reason for my lack of updates, is that I started a new series called "Mass Effect VS:" which is basically characters from ME arguing with characters from other games. It has similar humor to this series, but with less plot and more crack, so you might enjoy it. I can crank out new segments for that then I crank out new Chapter for this story. I am going to try to work on that though.**

**3: I know that lots of people don't get a lot of reviews, but I know at least 30 people have this story in their alerts, and about 45-50 other people are continuing to read this story. Of those 70 odd people, only about 20 have reviewed, and only about 4 have continued to review. I'm just saying.**

**4: Special thanks to Reka Luna. I got the idea to have Bourne pretty much turn that krogan into a pincushion from a review that was posted by that person.**

**Until next time, I hope you're enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying-very slowly- writing it.**

**Next Chapter: Nightmares and Guilt. **


	19. Nightmares, and New Guilt

**Ok, just a few things.**

** 1: If I make reference to something that "didn't happen" or "happened differently" there's a good reason for that. I agree that Han shot first, but when I was re-reading the earlier chapters to get in the mood, I face palmed. A lot. So, I went back and did a few minor re-writes. I left most of it the same, but I was tired of reading and thinking "God I was a n00b when I wrote this part." So, I claim no affiliation with Bioware, or with George Lucas' constant changing of his work. **

**2: I know I said Tuesday at the latest, but I still haven't caught on. Saying when I'll get something posted jinxes it. Well, I was close enough. **

**3: Don't worry, this isn't becoming a crack-fic like my other story. This chapter, Italics are me, normal is Shepards point of view. **

**4: This is going to be slightly darker, You'll see why.**

_It was a dream. I was sure of it. But it was hard to wake up nonetheless. I was unable to rouse myself, regardless of what I did. The world flickered around me. I was back where I had begun my journey. In my game room. I saw myself beating the game as Iron Shepard, starting a new game with Raptor Shepard. I saw myself reach for the X-box, the flash of light…then there was nothing. The world flickered._

"Jason! Jason!"

Shepard pulled Ashley away from their unconscious teammate. "Ashley, listen to me. You can't do anything to help him by panicking. I need to you to help, or get out of the way." Shepard kept her voice even, calm, reassuring. But she was just as worried. _How long ago was he shot? _ She pushed the question aside, drawing on years of battlefield experience.

_The three Biotics are completely worn out, Tali's not used to this, and Ashley won't leave. _"Garrus, you're the only fresh one left. Get Dr. Chakwas down here." Garrus took off sprinting towards the elevator, but Shepard was already moving on to the next task.

She crouched beside Bourne. "He's lost a lot of blood. We need to keep him from losing more. We need to get his armor off of him so we can get to the wound." Kaiden, despite being half-dead from exhaustion, knelt down on the other side of him. They swiftly removed the chest plate, and Shepard had to force down the bile that rose in her throat at the sight of the wound.

_I was on Noveria, the biting cold made me sure of that. I was surrounded by corpses; Asari commandos and Geth troopers. In front of me was a tank. Inside of it, was the last Rachni Queen. Someone walked past me, to get a closer look, and I gasped. I was looking at an image of myself, down to the glowing blue eyes, dozens of knives, and the Red Omega on the Chest Plate. But then I looked again. My eyes widened as the others became a glowing red. Scars blossomed across the face, the same sickly shade. The armor turned a shade of scarlet blood. The knives were replaced by more heavily armored guantlets. I realized that the two of us stood alone. I saw one 'corpse' get back to its feet, and shamble to the Tank. It opened its mouth, but no words came out. I saw the other me react though. I tried to move closer, see if I could hear, but my feet were rooted in place. I opened my mouth to call out, but I heard nothing. I screamed, I yelled, nothing. I saw the two beings talking, deciding one's fate. The other stepped forward. It raised its hand. It shifted, changing. It flickered between the mirror image of myself, and the Evil, dark, reflection. The coin of fate was being tossed. I imagined it in my mind's eye. The two faces merged as one, half surrounded by Biotic blue light, the other glowing like the pits of hell. The coin landed. It wasn't me. The shadow raised his hand, and sealed the others fate. I was finally able to move, but even as I ran it was too late. I saw the Queen covered in acid, dying. Even as I beat on the glass, trying to vain to save her, I heard the Shadow's cruel laugh. I screamed as the world was again torn asunder. I almost felt part of my skin ripping off. The world flickered once more._

Shepard had seen many gruesome things in her time, but few wounds even come close to this. Looking at it, she marveled that Bourne was even still alive, let alone breathing. She couldn't tell what caused it, but she would guess the Krogan's Shotgun. That would have been bad enough, but the Krogan hadn't been using a normal shotgun. It looked like it had been modded with different ammo.

The Armor was reasonably unscathed, but the rounds had torn through, and splintered into hundreds of fragments. When the armor had come off, some of the skin had stuck to it, leaving a clear view of his ribs, and some of his internal organs. Worse, the green flesh surrounding it spoke of either chemical coated or radioactive rounds. She couldn't be sure how much had been hit, but it looked like a lung had collapsed, and the liver was shredded. She couldn't be sure about the stomach, but either way, he was in bad shape.

"Get him to the med-bay!" Chakwas said calmly. Shepard looked and saw the doctor, along with her full medical team standing by. Shepard moved to help lift him onto the gurney, but instead she saw him glow blue, and float on to it. She saw Wrex lower his arm and realized he had done it. She looked at him in question.

"I half killed myself keeping him from falling to his death. I'm not just going to stand by now and watch a little flesh wound take him out." That said, he collapsed against the wall. Not even a Krogan had unlimited Biotic endurance. Shepard followed Chakwas onto the Elevator, hoping against hope for Bourne's sake.

_I gasped as I was lifted Biotically and thrown against the wall. Í shook my head, combat skills wheeling in. I tried to throw her back, but I was unable to move. I saw her, an Asari, fly back, and realized that the Shadow was here again, once again flickering between the two images. He…they…it, threw a knife and hit her straight in the chest. Now the Shadow was solid, once again half way between the two. It was the corpse with a knife in her chest who flickered. The face didn't change, but the clothing did. One second it was black leather, the next it was red armor. Morinth, and Samara. One was fated to die, but who was it? Once again, the cruel heartless laugh of the dark one as Samara died, and Morinth rose to thank the Shadow. _

_I blinked and the world shifted. The battle of the Citadel. The shadow stood in front of the console carrying his words to Joker. He laughed grimly as he made his choice. I saw the Destiny Ascension destroyed, and the council along with it.  
>The world flickered, and I found myself in front of a mirror. No, I looked again, and it was no mirror. There were two of me. The Mirror, the Paragon, and The dark version kept locked away. They dueled each other, Knives flashing, guns firing, biotics colliding. The Shadow struck two blows, and I gasped as the pain hit me. My ribs broke, I took a deep breath, and the world shifted once more. <em>

"29..30..Breath". Ashley lowered her lips to Jasons, and sent air into his lungs. She rose, and went back to doing compressions. There was a snap, signaling broken ribs from them, but she continued. Clearly, she had done this before, as the sound didn't even startle her. She just kept her eyes locked on Bourne's face, as though trying to will his eyes to open.  
>Ashley continued the CPR, as Shepard willed the Elevator to go faster. They had hooked Bourne to the equipment on the Gurney, and his heart had stopped. It was working too hard, trying to make up for the destroyed lung.<p>

Chakwas readied a defibrillator unit, and Shepard pulled Ashley aside. Chakwas shocked him once, then twice. Shepard and Ashley both breathed sighs of relief as the monitors showed his heart restarting. Bourne still lay mostly still, but Shepard saw his fingers twitching slightly.

There was barely enough room in the elevator for all of them. They rolled him across the room, a slight dip causing him to jolt on the gurney. His eyes flew open, then snapped shut. Shepard only noticed, because for a moment, his eyes had been like miniature blue stars.

Shepard wasn't sure why, but his eyes always did that when his Biotics were activated.

A single look at Chakwas told Shepard that she had noticed as well. She readied an injection. As she did so, Bourne's hand clenched into a Fist. A glowing Blue Fist.

_The world swirled around me, like windows of time. I saw my arrival on Eden Prime, and I saw the unfinished human reaper in the collector base. I saw Jack and Miranda fighting, and Tali holding a gun on Legion. A hundred scenarios flashed before my eyes. I saw either side being taken, the resulting hostility. The deaths on a mission where their lost loyalty cost them their lives._

_The windows shifted, now only two. In one, I saw the Reapers destroying the last race to survive the onslaught, before returning to dark space. _

_In the other, I saw Harbinger die, and a thousand other Reapers as well, before all were destroyed._

_The windows faded, leaving me more confused than before._

_"Have you figured out where you are yet?" I turned to the voice, and what I saw caused my fist to clench, my Biotics to flare. They faded away as pain shot through me. I was helpless before the other._

Chakwas pushed the needle into the arm, grunting as she had to push past the Biotic barrier. Bourne thrashed as the chemicals temporarily deactivated his powers.

Shepard breathed a double relieved sigh as the Biotic field faded away. The hand seemed to clench even tighter. He was still alive, somehow. Biotics couldn't be activated by a corpse, and Bournes were strong enough to resist the contact from the injector.

"Come on, help me hook him into the Oxygen tanks." Shepard complied with the doctors' orders, and put the mask on Bournes face. He began thrashing again, and it took both Shepard and Ashley to keep him still while Chakwas strapped him into restraints. Bourne struggled in vain against them. His eyes snapped open, revolving wildly. He was unconscious, but his body still struggled.

"Can't you do something to numb the pain?" Ashley's voice held…Shepard wasn't sure. Fear? Desperation? It was hard to place, but it was more than just concern for another officer.

Chakwas barely looked up from what she was doing, as she answered. "That pain may be all that's keeping him alive. I've never seen anyone take wounds like these and survive. I don't know how he managed to get on the ship, much less sprinting the whole way here."

"What are you saying?" Shepard was now sure that Ashley was far more worried than she would normally be in a case like this.

"If this was anybody else, there'd be nothing I could do. If he hadn't been genetically engineered to be the best, he'd be a corpse. But there's still a chance I can save him."

"A chance?"

Shepard was in motion before she even fully realized it, restraining Ashley. She wasn't sure whether she was trying to get to Chakwas, or Bourne. She had to drag her from the Medlab, letting Chakwas continue trying to save him. She was hard put to continue with Ashley's screams of terror.

"Jason! JASON!"

_"Jason Bourne I presume?" the other asked. I tried to draw my knives, but I realized my armor was gone. I had nothing. The other being took a step closer, and I gasped. It wasn't me. I realized who it was._

_"Iron?" _

_He smiled darkly. He raised his hand, and I floated in midair . "Yes, that is the name you gave me. Raptor Shepard may exist in this universe, but_ _I only exist inside you"_

_I struggled still, in vain. "Why is it you're here, where ever 'here' is? Why not Omega, or Shock, or..." _

_Iron laughed, the same evil sound. "You haven't figured it out? It's why you mainly have my abilities over my other incarnations. I was the last you created, the last to save existence. By whatever force propelled you here, I was the template."_

_"You're lying. This is just a nightmare, my subconscious…"_

_"It's the truth. Think about it: Your abilities are mainly mine, why you were able to use the three weapons I had."_

_"Then why don't I only have your powers? You could never create singularities."_

_"That feeling of being simultaneously stretched and compressed?" I gasped, and he continued. "We both know I'm renegade to the core. But you-" He sneered "You subconsciously resisted me. You had always wanted to be the hero, and I would force you to be a villain."_

_"So Hero-an adept- was fused as well."_

_He nodded. "It's why you were only able to charge earlier. I've been whispering in your ear the whole time, telling you how to fight, to survive. You were only able to because we both wanted the same thing then. Neither wanted to see Ashley die."_

_I laughed as I saw the flaw in my mind's logic. "If that were true, I'd have been able to Charge onto the ship. I doubt you'd have wanted to die either."_

_"Oh, you're right. I don't want to die; I just want you to"_

Shepard sat next to Ashley in the mess hall, one hand on her shoulder; both to comfort, and to restrain. Ashley was still shaking with silent sobs, and Shepard kept her gaze on the doors, . No words were exchanged; none were needed to know they were both hoping for the same thing.. The elevator door opened behind them, and Shepard turned to look. Garrus and Tali stepped out. Wrex followed, carrying Kaiden in one arm, and Liara over the other shoulder. Both were unconscious.

Shepard was on her feet in an instant. "What the hell happened to these two?"

Garrus answered, and Shepard recognized the same tone she had used with Ashley after Bourne had first collapsed. "Alenko got a migrane, thanks to the exhaustion from saving Bourne, and he eventually passed out. I think Liara is suffering from mal-nutrition and exhaustion, but I can't tell. I've never done medical work for Asari."

Shepard looked to the Med-bay, then back to the two Biotics. "I hate to do this to him, but Kaiden is used to his Migranes. Just lay him on the table; I can't risk Bourne's life just to save him a little pain."

"What about Dr. Tsoni?"

Shepard groaned "Arggh! I can't just leave her here, but If we take her in with Bourne, the distraction could cost him his life."

Ashley spoke, still sobbing occasionally "And if she died because of it, he'd say it wasn't worth it. I doubt that there's much that would be changed."

Shepard looked at the Asari's pale face, and nodded. "You're right. But I'm the only other person that goes in there. We can't have a ton of people cluttering up the Medbay. Wrex, let me carry her."

He handed the Asari over, and Shepard was surprised at how light she felt. _Garrus must be right_ she thought. She carried her over to the Med-bay. Chakwas didn't even turn as the doors opened, a testament to her training. Shepard forced herself not to look at what the doctor was doing. She carried Liara in, and set her on a cot on the far side of the Med-bay.

An orderly rushed over to examine her, and Shepard headed back out. She couldn't stop a last look over her shoulder, and she gasped at what she saw. Chakwas had metal clamps holding Bourne's side open, and she was suturing his torn lung. The needle was covered in medigel, to better sew up the injuries. As she finished one suture, she re-dipped it in the Medigel. Shepard looked away, and saw something else that made her skin crawl. In a tank, a few feet away, was a half grown liver. Things must have been bad if Chakwas was growing him a new organ; the process consumed a great deal of resources. Shepard almost ran from the room.

_I stared blankly before Iron's word sunk in fully. "What do you mean, 'just me'?"_

_Iron waved a hand, impatient at having to explain. "As you figured out, your body is infused with a combination of my abilities, and **Hero** Shepard's." He again sneered the name. "Though three beings created the body, the mind is made up of only two."_

_"Oh, so you're why I look so much uglier" I laughed. Then the images I had seen fit themselves into place. "Wait,that Shadow, that dark reflection-"_

_"Was me. You saw some of the most important choices that can be made. That _I_ can make."_

_"How? By killing the only body we have?"_

_"I am not in control, you are. Killing you would warp reality back to Eden Prime. But it would be me in your body."_

_I realized the irony of the situation and laughed. "So I was right about feeling crazy. It was you."_

_"I'm not insane; I just recognize power when I see it."_

_"What power? If you think you're more powerful than other Biotics-"_

_"Bah! Those are mere trifles. I am talking about our greatest powers; I would be a god!"_

Shepard exited the med-bay and went over to where the others were sitting. She saw Tali shaking, and realized she was crying too. "It's my fault! If I hadn't activated that stupid mining laser-"

Garrus put an arm around her. "Then Dr. Tsoni might have been kidnapped before you were able to get to her. Bourne made the decision, not you."

"Because I didn't warn him of the risks! Keelah, it's my fault he's in there. I was the one who opened the gate and let those turrets almost kill him. I-"

"You did what you thought was right. You made mistake, and you owned up to it. It only stays a mistake if you don't learn from it." Ashley's voice still sounded hoarse, but much better.

"But still-"

Shepard spoke up. "Tali, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I didn't stop you from opening the gate, and I didn't try to talk him out of using the mining laser."

Tali continued to sob against Garrus' shoulder despite her words. Shepard sighed, and sat down on the other side. Ashley sat across from her, back to the medlab. Shepard could still see tears streaming down her cheeks.

'Bourne, you had better make it. I am not cleaning up after your mess!' Shepard thought furiously. 'I didn't choose you as my right hand man just so you could die! Come on, pull through.' The group watched, waited, and hoped.

_"Great, not only am I being held hostage in my own head by a maniac, the maniac thinks he's god. Christ, can things get any worse?"_

_"Pathetic. Using humor to try and cope. I am not talking about some fool with magical powers, I am talking about a force. On the derelict reaper, you heard the scientist's words; the Reapers can warp reality. So can you, and so would I be able to."_

_"Like being made a Spectre alongside Shepard."_

_"Exactly. You can't say it was mere coincidence. Why else would Shepard want you?"_

_"If you think trying to make me feel inadequate will work, you're barking up the wrong tree."_

_"But subconsciously you do. It's why you said you were a mercenary, the lowest of the low. Then you tried to make yourself better by saying you had wanted to join the Alliance. Just like you always lied in college. You can't even bring yourself to tell Ashley how you feel. Is it because you know you'll never be able to keep a grip on her? She'll either die in a few months, or call you a traitor when you meet on Horizon. You're a failure Jason Bourne. You always were, and you always will be."_

_My face twisted, and Iron took a step back. I saw fear in his eyes, despite that I was held in the air by his powers. "I am not a failure!"_

_His powers disappeared, and I dropped to the floor, landing in a crouch. "It's you who was the failure! I chose every choice you made, to have the worst possible effect on the third game, to let the Reapers win; If you really existed, it wouldn't have been so easy!"_

_He stumbled back, his guns disappearing. I took a step forward, now clad in my own black and white armor. "If you were truly worthy, it would have been you who was the commanding part of the mind!"_

_He stumbled back, falling to the ground. As he scrambled away, his armor disappeared, leaving him in his leather get up he had always worn. I raised my arms, as my knives reappeared. I held my arms out, loosing all 32 knives from their restraints. I held them biotically, as I had before the Krogan._

_"Wait! If you destroy me, you'll lose all the experience I gave you! You'll be back to square one, without any powers."_

_"Lies won't save you." I finally recognized what this was. The other choices I had seen were nothing compared to this. I had to choose to be the hero, or the renegade. "It was the body that came with the powers, not you."_

_"But you'll never be able to truly have power! You'll lose my ability to charge! My abilities with-"_

_His words cut off as I lifted him and slammed him. "I don't need you. I can learn from others. I can train myself. I won't leash myself to you for the sake of power."_

_"You'll still never be able to reach our full potential."_

_I smiled grimly. "That's something we can agree on. I'll never reach our full potential."_

_I readied the knives. "I don't want to. I'll reach my own potential and choose my own path"_

_Iron's eyes widened. _

_"I choose to help Shepard, but you're not the one I'm thinking of!" I threw the knives, every one hitting its mark. He screamed as they hit him, his evil red light flowing from the wounds in his physical shell. With a final, all-consuming flash of light, he exploded outward and crumpled into dust. The knives vanished, along with my armor and Biotics. I realized I was back in my own body, my old body. I realized I had a choice once more. I could let myself drift off, leaving the responsibly on other shoulders. I clenched my fists, not considering it or a moment._

_I felt the world shift once more, and I closed my eyes, feeling myself returning to my new body. I opened my eyes, and this time, I awoke._

Shepard heard a commotion coming from the med-lab. She motioned for the others to stay still, and went to investigate. She saw Chakwas standing on the side of the room away from Bourne. The only partially finished injection was evidence that she had been caught unawares. She looked back to Bourne, and gasped. His eyes were open, and his breathing was steady. He no longer struggled against the restraints, and he seemed to notice Shepard. He breathed a deep sigh of relief, then his eyes closed again.

"Chakwas?" Shepard couldn't tell if he was sleeping or- she forced herself not to think of it.

"Don't worry commander, he's only sleeping.I don't know how, but he'll make a full recovery"

Shepard heard the door open behind her, and Ashley walked in. She saw Bourne's steady breathing and turned to Chakwas. She had tears in her eyes, and a question on her lips.

"Is he-"

"Healthy as can be, all things considered. I don't know how he managed it, but he held on. He's going to be sore for a while, but he should be just fine. Now he needs to sleep and get his strength back."

Ashley went over to him, then turned and grabbed a chair that was nearby. "Why don't you go and tell the others the good news skipper. I want to stay here for a bit."

Shepard glanced at Chakwas, and saw her nod slightly in response. She turned and went over to her other patient, though her orderly had done most of the work.

Shepard turned and walked to the door. She stopped at the exit, and looked over her shoulder a moment. Ashley reached out grip Bourne's hand, and she had tears-this time of joy- in her hand. Bourne squeezed back slightly, and his lips raised in a slight smile. Shepard's smile grew. _Took them long enough to figure out._ She walked over to comfort Tali, grateful beyond reason that Bourne was still alive. She thought about Ashley holding his hand, and revised that last thought. _No, I'm glad Jason is still alive._

**Ok, hopefully the delay is made up for with this chapter being twice as long, and really being two chapters intertwined. A few more things:**

**1: Obviously, Bourne isn't going to Feros or Noveria anytime soon. It's going to be a few chapters, and I honestly can't decide which to do first. It's going to be one or the other, then the second will be left for last. Since I can't decide, I'm letting you. Vote in the poll on my profile page, and the winner by the time I get to that point will be up first. My last poll for my other story only got 6 votes. Let's try to break that record this time.**

**2: The nightmare Bourne had was originally going to have a much darker scene for Morinth and Samara. I left it out, as I thought it ended up being too dark, but I did post it as a separate one shot. It's posted as "The Deadlies Sin" on my profile, so if you're interested in the original, it's there. I put a warning there, and I'm repeating it here: It is way darker, which is why I rated it M. I still wanted it here on the site, but it is- and I'm not being prideful here, just telling the truth- someone called it one of the darkest fics they'd seen on the site. Still, if you want to read it, it's there.**

**3: Once again, I redid the earlier chapters, so you can re-read this story without the amateur. **

**This was undoubtedly my favorite chapter so far to write, and I hope you're enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. **


	20. Am I Crazy?

**Real quick before this chapter starts: The poll is still open on my profile page, and as of the time I'm posting this, there are only seven votes. Now, like I said, I can't really decide whether to go to Noveria or Feros. No, seriously, I _cannot_ decide. I have one definite scene I want near the end, but it can go in either spot. To cut my rambling short, go and vote to help me decide. Or really, to decide for me.**

**We now return to our regularly scheduled story about characters that Bioware owns instead of me.**

_"I choose to help Shepard, but you're not the one I'm thinking of!" I threw the knives, every one hitting its mark. He screamed as they hit him, his evil red light flowing from the wounds in his physical shell. With a final, all-consuming flash of light, he exploded outward and crumpled into dust. The knives vanished, along with my armor and Biotics. I realized I was back in my own body, my old body. I realized I had a choice once more. I could let myself drift off, leaving the responsibly on other shoulders. I clenched my fists, not considering it for a moment._

_I felt the world shift once more, and I closed my eyes, feeling myself returning to my new body. I opened my eyes, and this time, I awoke._

I awoke with a start, looking around the room. The first thing I realized was that I was strapped to a bed. _No, wait, it's a cot. And I'm wearing some sort of breathing mask. _I looked around again. _I must be on the Normandy. _I saw a flash of movement to my right, and saw Dr. Chakwas looking at me surprised. I saw the door opening, and tensed involuntarily, not sure I wasn't still dreaming. I relaxed as soon as I saw it was Raptor Shepard, not Iron Shepard. I realized I was straining against the restraints and stopped.

I let out a sigh of relief, glad the Nightmares were over. I let exhaustion overtake me, my eyes closing. I barely heard Shepard or Chakwas, but I heard another voice very clearly.

"Is he-"

"Healthy as can be, all things considered. I don't know how he managed it, but he held on. He's going to be sore for a while, but he should be just fine. Now he needs to sleep and get his strength back." I heard Chakwas reply.

I heard a chair being slid across the floor, then heard Ashley say "Why don't you go and tell the others the good news skipper. I want to stay here for a bit." I smiled a little, still only on the edge of consciousness. I could tell she was right beside my bed, sobbing joyfully.

I heard Shepard turn to leave, and felt a hand slide on to mine. I squeezed back and smiled a little more, then let sleep take me.

"Well, he seems to be doing better."

I groaned at being woken up, but I opened my eyes to see who it was. It was Shepard. I tried to sit up, and realized I was still restrained. She turned to me, and I smiled mockingly. "You know commander, I'm always ready to try new things, but dinner first would have been nice."

Shepard just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you're definitely fine."

"Well, you did give me a perfect opportunity." I said, chuckling. I realized Ashley was gone, though considering what I had just said, that might have been a good thing. _Or was that a dream too?_

I saw Chakwas come in from the other room. "I would hardly say he's _fine_. He's recovering, but he still has three broken ribs, a lung that looks like it was Frankenstein's, and a liver that's only a day old."

I just stared at her. "Uh, doc, I don't have a medical degree here. Can you run that by me again?"

Shepard held up a hand, cutting off the doctor's reply. "To put in terms you'd understand: You. Got. Shot. A. Lot."

I chuckled at that. "Ok, how much did I 'get shot'?"

Chakwas shot a glare at Shepard, then turned to me. "You were hit by some sort of modded rounds. Tore through your side. Your lung collapsed and had to be sutured back to being usable; that's what I meant about the "Frankenstein" lung."

_Wait a minute, _I thought, my brain finally catching up with what she'd said earlier. "Hold on, what did you say before? 'A day old liver'?"

"Your original liver was torn to shreds. I had to flash-clone you a new one. And your ribs were broken during CPR. Your heart was trying to run on one lung, and not succeeding."

_A new liver?... Ok, I'm definitely insane, because I'm not panicking. Ok, maybe a little. Damn I'm glad for Iron's…..Iron! _

"You okay Bourne?" Shepard asked me, concern on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied "I just had some weird dreams. Guess they're just now hitting me." I chuckled and turned to Chakwas. "Those must have been some pain-meds doc."

She frowned. "Well, actually, I didn't use any pain medication. There wasn't enough time for it to take effect."

_Wait, if there weren't any pain meds, then maybe…no, there's no way Iron could've been real._ I clenched a fist, involuntarily. I felt my Biotics trigger from the action, but at the same time I felt them dissipate. _Huh? _I looked at my fist, then tried to move a data-pad from the other side of the room. It stayed motionless.

Shepard followed my gaze. "What are you- oh, trying to activate your Biotics?" I nodded an affirmative.

"I had to give you something to suppress them" Chakwas explained. "Even half dead, you were putting up a fight. If we hadn't, you could have torn half the ship apart."

I tried to shrug, then remembered the restraints. "Uh, little help here?"

Chakwas undid the strap holding my left arm immobile, but left the rest. "Sorry Lieutenant, but that's all the freedom of movement I can allow. Your right side is still injured in multiple ways, and I don't want you tearing something open"

I sighed. "I'm guessing pulling rank wouldn't work here?" She just glared at me. "What about Spectre Stasis?" She continued to glare "Yeah, I didn't think so."

I turned back to Shepard. "So, what happened after I 'got shot a lot'?"

Shepard glanced at Chakwas, who took the hint and went into the backroom.

She turned back to me, and sighed. She grabbed the chair that was next to me, and sat down. "Well, do you want the good news first, or the bad news first?"

"Might as well get the bad first. Then I can be cheered up later."

"Well, we did manage to rescue Dr. Tsoni, but, well-"

"Don't sugar coat it Shepard, just tell me."

She raised a finger and pointed to the door that Chakwas had gone through. "She's in there, recovering from severe starvation and exhaustion. She should be fine though. "

"Ok, now what's the real bad news?" _It's not going to be that easy to lie to someone who knows every facet of your personality._

"Tali is blaming herself for what happened."

I just stared at her. "She's blaming herself?"

"She thinks she could've talked you out of using the Mining Laser, which is what brought the place down on top of us."

"That's crazy!" _And I should know insanity better than anyone. _"It was my call, not hers! Well, it was your call too, but-"

"Thanks. That really helps" She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I'll talk to her once I get out of here, or whenever I see her next. So, what's the good news then?"

Shepard chuckled. "Well, since the Mako was left in the volcano, we get to go make Udina get us a new one."

I burst out laughing at that. "And it's even funnier cause he'll try to pin it on me, and actually be right this time."

"Uh, Bourne? Are you sure you're feeling alright? You said you were worried about meds, and those Biotic suppressants-"

"Don't you mean Anti-Biotics?" I burst out laughing again.

"Aren't supposed to have any side effects."

"Huh, maybe it's just shock" I put my poker face back in place, smiling like an idiot. _Damnit! Well, I got the info I needed, at the expense of sounding crazy. _

"Well, like Chakwas said, you should probably rest up a bit. You can just write up your report to the council later."

"Ok, I'm going to grab some shut eye" I fake-yawned, and closed my eyes. I heard Shepard leave turn to leave, but then she turned back to me. "By the way, the real good news: I think Ashley feels the same way you do." I was speechless as she walked out. _Ok, so it wasn't a dream._

I then waited a few minutes to make sure Chakwas wouldn't come in. I opened my eyes, and once again asked myself _Am I crazy?_ I had asked myself the same question back on Eden Prime, and realized I was still sane. _I know that this isn't supposed to be real, but there's not really another explanation. Besides, that's not what I mean._ I closed my eyes, remembering my dream. _No, scratch that, it was a nightmare. But, here's the million dollar question: Was it a dream, or did it really happen? I had been ready to write it off as the meds, but Shepard put a giant pair of nails in that coffin. No drugs that could do it. And the part about Ashley; Shepard's comment makes me think it's true. But that's the one part I'm not worried about. What about all the crap with Iron?_

Part of me, probably the sanest part, wanted to believe it was nothing more than my subconscious trying to cope with the choices I knew I'd have to make. _And yet, everything adds up. My powers coming from Iron, and from Hero: I knew from square one I had more than just Iron's abilities. Hell, even having Iron dimly sharing my mind would explain a few things, like the hesitation to let Fist go free, or the way I threatened Bosker. _I tried to remember the way I had charged back on Therum, but I couldn't. _So, that part is true. But was Iron real? _For about the first time since I ended up here, I wasn't sure.

I was startled awake a while later, scarcely aware I'd fallen asleep. A quick glance at the door showed that no one had come in, so _What woke me up?_

I heard a slight intake of breath, and turned towards the sound. I realized it had been Liara, coming in from the other room.

"Oh, sorry, I did not mean to wake you." She said nervously.

I waved my free hand. "Don't worry, I was about ready to wake up anyway."

"Nonetheless-"

"It's fine." She still looked a little sheepish, but much less so. "How are you holding up? Shepard said you weren't exactly feeling 100 percent."

"I am-better, now. I think it was my Biotics more than anything that exhausted me"

I shrugged. _Well, if only moving one of the shoulders still counts as a shrug. _

"You have quite a loyal crew."

"Pardon?"

"The way they risked their lives to save you, I have never seen such loyalty."

"I don't know that loyalty is the right word; I think of them more as friends than as crew."

"Oh, I am sorry I did not mean-"

"Don't worry Dr., I get what you're trying to say. I've spent plenty of time dealing with other races, and I've offended people on accident myself. Not that you offended Me."

"Yes, but, do you know if I might have done something to offend-" She stopped, obviously trying to remember the name.

"Ashley?" I guessed.

"Yes, that is it. She seems hostile to me, though it might just be my inexperience dealing with your species."

"Well-" _Ok, really need to think this through. Last thing I need to piss Ashley off by saying something about her being a Xeno-phobe._ "She isn't used to working with nonhumans, and it's hard to earn her trust in general. Give her time, she'll come around."

"I hope you are right. I think I had better go though, Dr. Chakwas wanted me to move around, since I've been in the same spot for several hours." She walked over to the door, and I saw something I hadn't before. The chair next to me had a depression in it, which meant someone had been sitting there. "Hey, Dr. Tsoni?" She turned back to look at me. "If you see Ashley, can you tell her I want to see her?"

"Of course."

"Thanks." _Well, If that part about her wasn't a dream, I might as well find out now._

I was still contemplating whether Iron was real, or just my subconscious, when Ashley walked in.

"That was fast."

"If you were reduced to passing notes, I figured you wanted to see me." Ashley replied.

I chuckled, and motioned for her to sit down.

"So, what did you want to see me about, Bourne?" I noticed a slight pause before she said my name. _Or rather, didn't say my name._

" First of all, call me Jason. Like I said, protocol isn't a big deal."

"Ok Jason, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"How are you holding up? It was a pretty rough ride."

"I'm fine Jason. I'm almost used to nearly dying by this point."

"Uh huh. Ashley, we both know that isn't true. And I think we both know what I'm talking about." My tone meant I would brook no nonsense or lies.

She looked away shamefully. "I'm sorry, it just felt right at the-"

"Sorry about what?" _Ok, either it was a dream, or—She regrets it?_

"Now you're the one lying. Is this just some sort of game?"

I kept my face neutral, waiting for more before jumping to any conclusions.

"If you're going to report me, just do it. Don't drag it around-"

"Ash, stop." My voice was calm, but firm. _One of the few good things about Iron. _"You're worried I'd report something that small? Let alone reporting you in the first place?"

She tried to object, but I didn't give her the chance. "Ashley, first of all, you're my team mate, and more than that, my friend. And to be honest, I can't blame you for the hand hold." _There, now it's actually out in the open._

"You're not upset?"

"Upse- what? No, of course not." I grinned sheepishly. "I feel the same way about you."

She stared a moment, then burst out laughing. _Ok, it's official. Women are impossible to understand in any universe._ "I've been worrying all this time, and you tell me you actually feel the same way? I would have never seen that coming."

She reached her hand out to my restrained right one, like she had before. I got the same dumb grin I had the first time.

"But you're technically my superior officer. There are laws about fraternization. I'm already blacklisted for something else. If word got out-"

I put a finger to her lips with my free hand, not easy in the position I was in. "Ashley, nobody on this ship would be dumb enough to blab. And I think Shepard knew before we did."I was only now looking back and rethinking the looks Shepard had given me. "If worse comes to worst, I'll pull spectre statis and-" My words were cut off as she put her own finger against my lips. She slid the chair closer, resting her head on my shoulder. She moved her hand from my lips back to my hand.

"You are incredible."

"So are you. Flirting with you senior officer- what were you thinking?" I joked.

"I was thinking, there are a lot of restaurants on the citadel."

"Well, as co-C.O, I think I can arrange some shore leave."

"I'm looking forward to it. " She got up to leave. My hand felt a lot emptier now. "I guess you have more motivation to get Chakwas to let you of here, huh?"

"I'd like to see her try to stop me." She smiled and turned to leave. I watched her go with a smile on my face. I leaned back against the cot. Then it hit me. _I just made a date with her! I am crazy._

_But if this is insanity, I don't want to be sane._

**Next Chapter: Oh boy, I get to deal with the idiots again. **

**If you haven't already, please review. But to set the record straight, I'm not saying you have to review every individual chapter, just let me know how I'm doing every once in a while. **

**And again, please vote for Noveria or Feros to be a next stop. It's going to be at least three chapters before we get there, but I want to know which you think. Just click on my name at the top of the page, and the poll is at the top of my profile.**

**Until next time, I hope you're enjoying reading, as much as I'm enjoying writing. **


	21. Uh oh That could be a problem

**Ok, Writer's block is a bitch. Nuff said. I've had parts planned out, but I had no idea how to link them together. But sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do it. Weird part: It got way easier once I just started writing. I'll keep that in mind next time I get writer's block. I'm going to try to keep getting new chapters out more often, but I'll have to start cutting down in a couple of weeks. I won't bore you with why, but it's just unavoidable. **

**Also, I'm just going to go ahead and take down the poll; it seems like majority wants Feros, and I think it would actually make more sense, for reasons that'll be explained later in the story. This way, I can actually start thinking that out instead of trying to stay semi-neutral so we can end up in either planet.**

**Should I do another joke for the disclaimer? Well ok, if you insist. I don't own Mass Effect; if I did, Jacob would have died in the first five seconds. **

I stretched my arms, glad to finally be able to move again. Chakwas had kept me in the Med Bay for another two days after my conversation with Ashley. _Well, if that could really be called a conversation. I'm not convinced it wasn't just me going crazy. _ Thankfully, Shepard had convinced her to let me out, though I wasn't supposed to engage in anything strenuous, and I was supposed to avoid my Biotics. I had been pissed off about the last part, but I reluctantly had agreed to get out. I figured the only time I'd really need them anyway would be in a fight, and then I'd have bigger problems to worry about then the doctor's orders. I left the medbay for the first time in days, and just stood in the door way a moment, looking around. _Where is everyone? We aren't supposed to reach the citadel for another 10 hours. Oh, duh, they must be packing for shore leave._

"How are you holding up Lt?" I barely managed to keep from jumping in surprise. I had completely forgotten the fact that Kaiden was working at the,ummm… _huh, maybe I should ask him what it is he's doing. They never really explained it._

"Not too bad, all things considered." I replied. I had a sense of unease, and I wasn't sure why. "What about you?" I hated to admit it to myself, but I was mostly asking to distract him a moment. _How did I not notice him? He was there most of the-_ I almost felt my heart stop (again) as the answer hit me.

"I'm better now. I've had worse migraines, and I couldn't really feel it once I passed out."

A fake smile came almost effortlessly now. "Yeah, I guess I need to go on a diet if it took three of you to haul me on board." I kept the smile, my face feeling like it was going to split as my true emotions tried to manifest themselves in my expression.

"I'll admit, I had a few doubts about Wrex, but they're long gone now. Bounty hunter or not, I'm glad he's on our side. Uh, no offense Lt."

I just kept the fake smile, if only barely, and nodded. I turned towards the elevator, and headed down to the lower level. For once I was grateful for the long wait, as my barely hidden emotions swarmed to the surface. I had figured out exactly why I hadn't noticed Kaiden there; why I hadn't even thought about the fact that should have been there. I had walked past his console plenty of times in the game. But most of the time, he hadn't been there.

_Virmire. _ Among the many thoughts fighting for dominance, that was first and foremost. I tried to rationalize it, as I had outside the Consort's Chambers, but I failed. _He saved my life not even a week ago, and I still want to kill him. _I fought the urge to collapse against the wall; if I was there when the doors opened, I'd have to blame my injury, and be stuck in the medlab longer. I settled for resting my head against the wall in front of me, my eyes closed. _No, I don't want to kill him, but there isn't another option. I don't want to lose Ashley. _I felt a wave of nausea hit me at the very thought. _I read a lot of fan-fics about this universe, but I never felt it very realistic when Shepard sacrificed their love interest; I never did that when I played either. I can't lose Ashley like that, I just can't! Damn it! Why can't I get back to that uncaringness I had on the citadel? I was ready to kill him without a second thought when it came down to it._

I didn't know. _Face it, that's one part of that nightmare that was right. I'm no hero; I'm just some random guy that ended up in his favorite video game. I have the chance to be a hero, but I won't be one. If I was, I'd tell Shepard everything, tell the Council everything. I could avert a catastrophe. And yet, I know I won't. It has to happen. _I grimaced at the thought, still trying to convince myself. _If I do, the universe could collapse on itself. _

_(You're assuming that they'd believe you in the first place)_

I jerked up. _That wasn't me._I thought for a second and realized I must have dozed off. _I guess that injury must have taken more out of me than I thought. _I looked at the sides of the elevator, where I could see it moving against up and down, and realized it was coming to a stop.

The door slid open, and I nearly walked right into Tali. I smiled, genuinely this time.

"Oh, hello Bourne. I didn't realize you were in there. Though, it was coming down, so I should have realized there was someone in there. And now I'm babbling like an idiot."

I just enjoyed her presence for a moment, glad to be around someone that didn't make me nervous. "Tali, trust me; I've had to deal with plenty of idiots, and you're one of the least idiotic people I know."

"Thanks. I don't believe it, but it's nice of you to say anyway."

"Tali, Shepard told me you're blaming yourself for what happened down there." I almost surprised myself at my directness. _What the hell is with me today?_

"What? Oh Keelah…" She was looking around frantically, as though looking for an excuse to end the conversation; her hands were making that frantic 'hand washing' motion she always made when she was nervous.

"I just want you to know that I don't blame you at all."

Tali sighed. "That's what everyone said. They didn't convince me either."

My mind raced; I was glad to be thinking of something else. "I get the feeling something else is pulling you down as well"

"Well maybe a little, but it's nothing."

"You sure?"

"I don't want to be a burden. Don't worry, I'll figure it out-"

"You've been having trouble sleeping since the Normandy runs so quiet?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Tali just stared at me, her eyes wide. "How did you know that?"

I chuckled. "It'd be hard for just about anyone to surprise me with anything. I've seen a lot, and I know very well how to read people."

"Thanks for holding the Elevator Tali." I fought back a surprised jump once again as I realized I hadn't even seen Ashley coming over. I scanned the room and realized that Wrex and Garrus actually weren't there. _Good, I really didn't want to be surprised another time._

"Of course" Tali seemed grateful at a change of conversation. I decided to go along with unspoken request and just drop it.

"What's going on that everyone's going up?" I asked.

"The skipper called some sort of meeting for the ground team. Everyone else is already up there"

"I was just going to hold the Elevator so she wouldn't have to wait."

"I have to go back up after I just rode down?" I groaned.

"Hey, maybe some company will make the ride seem shorter." Ashley winked. I opened my mouth to reply in kind, then remembered that Tali was there and decided against it. I shook my head slightly, and Ashley got the hint.

They got in, and we headed back up to the Debriefing. I shook my head as the sense of unease returned. It seemed to increase as we got closer to the upper deck. I kept my poker face, but I was almost ready to run like a bat out of hell. I was getting freaked out, as much by the level of unease as the unease itself.

_What the hell is going on?_ I wondered.

We got off the elevator, and headed upstairs. We walked in, and I was actually surprised a moment. _Huh, guess my being here wasn't enough to add a seventh chair. _It occurred to me that I hadn't been in here before.

"So, why did you drag us in here?" Wrex asked.

Shepard was standing in the middle of the room, where she could face everyone at once. I took a page out of her book, and leaned against the wall. _Hold on_ I realized I had unconsciously picked the spot closest the door. _I don't get it._

_(What's not to get?)_

I kept my poker face in place, but I wanted to run more than I had before. _That wasn't me either! _

_(Obviously)_

"Bourne?" Shepard's voice got my attention.

"Yeah?"

"Just making sure you were actually paying attention. The reason I called you in here is that we didn't get the chance to meet after the mission, and Bourne's been in the Med-lab the past few days. This is the first chance we've had to meet as a group."

Joker's voice cut over the intercom. "Yeah, and I'd just like to point out how close a call that was. A few more seconds and the Normandy would have been sucked inside out from the vacuum. This ship isn't equipped to have the door open until the last minute. It tends to drain all the air and suffocate everyone on board." I could 'hear' a smirk in his voice. "Just for future reference"

I rolled my eyes.

"We almost died out there and the Pilot is making jokes?" Liara asked, though I couldn't place exactly what the tone in her voice was. It might have been indignation, or it could have been confusion. Or both.

Shepard turned to her, smiling slightly. "It's a coping mechanism. Trust me, you'll get used to it."

"I see. It must be a human thing." I couldn't keep from laughing at that, though despite the sudden mirth, I felt an even stronger level of tension then before. Now it was more like a premonition of disaster.

Liara looked at me in confusion then seemed to decide not to ask. She turned back to Shepard. "I don't have much experience dealing with your species commander. Though I am grateful to you. You saved my life back there."

"But do you know why Saren was after you?" I broke in. I hated being so blunt, but I wanted to get out of here as fast as possible. My head was practically ready to split.

"Do you know something about the conduit?" Kaiden asked. I almost flinched at his voice, sure that Virmire was the source my unease. I was surprised when it didn't increase at all. _So then, what's really going on?_

_(You really are slow, aren't you?')_The other voice, for it clearly wasn't mine sounded almost-condescending? The only other time I'd head a tone like that…

_No way. _I thought. _Just ignore it. Focus on the conversation._

"Only that it was somehow connected to the prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the last fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."

The pressure in my head increased as she mentioned her studying. _What the hell? Why is this one conversation doing this to me? What is it about this conversation?_

"Wait. Did you say fifty years?" Shepard asked.

"Yes. It seems a long while to you, but in an Asari's eyes, it is very little. I'm still considered a child by Asari standards."

"Not to be rude, but how old are you exactly?" I felt some pride that my voice didn't change despite the pressure against my head.

"I hate to admit it, but I am only a 106"

Ashley chuckled. "Damn, I hope I look that good when I'm that age."

"That makes two of us" I joked. _I don't care how much my head hurts, no way am I letting a joke that perfect pass by. _Kaiden looked at me in surprise, but decided not to comment.

"That may seem ancient to you humans, but it's barely old enough to be living on their own to a long lived species like hers or mine" Wrex rumbled in reply.

"Which is why my research has not gotten much attention." Liara explained. "Because of my youth, other Asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans." I noticed she seemed more confident talking about her work.

"I have my own ideas about what happened to the protheans" Shepard cut in.

"With all due respect commander, I have heard every theory out there-"

I cut across, my tongue almost moving of its own accord. "You haven't heard this one. And it's not just a theory. The Protheans were wiped out by a race of sentient machines called the reapers, just like several civilizations before them." Liara turned to me in surprise.

"What? How do you know that there were other civilizations before them? I have been researching for years and Ihave hardly found eviden-" She stopped as she realized what I had said about _what_ wiped them out. "Wait, Reapers? I have never heard of…how do you know this? What evidence do you-?"

Shepard cleared her throat, getting Liara's attention. "There was a prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It was damaged, but it still had enough life in it to send a vision into both my head" She smirked. "And into Bourne's head, such as it is."

Ash, Wrex, and Garrus all laughed at that, but her words sent a light bulb flickering above my head. _Of course, how could I have been so naive? "Into My head. When she melds minds with me, she'll see every experience and memory I've ever had. Including the ones from the real world!_

_("Real world" is such a relative concept. And aren't you forgetting that she'll find out about me?)_

_Oh crap. _I addressed the other voice directly. )_Fuck. I knew it was you I heard. But how did you survive? I stabbed you with like…32 knives!(_

_(Yes, I'm still pissed about that. But, either way, I doubt either of us want her rooting through this mind, so I'm willing to put our differences aside a moment so we can plan. We don't need another person in this mind.)_

_)Don't you mean my mind?(_

_(For now it is. At least you're actually acknowledging me this time; your normal thoughts were nearly impossible to understand.)_

_)Too bad. Now shut up and let me think. I can't listen to them, and to you at the same time(_

_(very well, though I think you are making a mistake.)_

I focused my attention outward again, knowing that Iron was right about not wanting people to find out.

"We're still trying to sort out what it means." Shepard told Liara.

"Visions?" Liara asked herself "Yes, of course, that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into the user's mind. Finding one that still works is extremely rare. No wonder the Geth attacked Eden Prime."

"The risk was worth the Gain." Garrus agreed.

"But wouldn't the beacons have only been designed to work with a prothean mind?" Tali asked.

"Yes, and they would have been programmed to transmit the information is way that corresponded to Prothen Physiology. Whatever information they received would have been unclear, or distorted."

"My vision was certainly that way" I said, stalling for time.

"I am…" Liara searched for a word, "Amazed, you two were able to make any sense of it at all. You must have had remarkably strong wills."

"Or I'm just stubborn." I joked.

_(Stubborn? More like too stupid to have understood it)_

_)Go to hell. Again.(_

"Another mind might have been utterly destroyed by the process, whatever the reason."

_)Liara seems to be thinking along the same lines I am.(_

_(You were expecting her to deviate wildly?)_

_)Look. Another time, I'd be happy to trade insults all day. But seeing as she's probably going to be in here pretty soon, how about we…( _I cut off, realizing something. I considered it carefully then decided it was the best chance.

_(What are you thinking?)_

_ )I'm thinking that winding up in the loony bin would be inconveniencing for us both. You need to be quiet so I can focus on my plan. If I'm even a second off, it'll fall apart, and I don't have time to explain it(_

"Neither is that sort of attitude Ashley" I heard Shepard say dimly. I focused back on the conversation, and realized Ashley had made her 'this isn't helping us find anything out' comment.

"I'm sorry, my scientific curiosity got the better of me. Unfortunately, I lack any information that could help you."

_(Maybe we can convince her not to mind meld)_

_)We both know that we can't unscramble the vision without her(_

_(But we already know what it means)_

_)But Raptor doesn't. And if I just gave her the information, it'd be back to the whole 'not from around here thing. Now once again, SHUT THE HELL UP!(_

"I don't know why Saren wanted you out of the picture, but I think we'd all be a lot better off with you here on the Normandy" Shepard said reassuringly.

"Thank you commander. Saren might come after me again, and I can't think of any place safer than here. And my knowledge of the Protheans might be useful later on."

"And her Biotics will come in handy when the fighting starts" Wrex and I said at the same time. He looked annoyed that I had said the same thing as him, but I ignored it and pressed on. "And I think I know how your knowledge of the Protheans could already come in handy."

_(What are you doing?)_

_)Just watch(_

"You said that you were an expert on the Protheans. Maybe you'd be able to-" I pretend to cut off, rethinking it and looked away. "No, no, what am I thinking? I shouldn't even ask"

"What?" Shepard and Liara both asked at once.

"No, never mind, it's a stupid idea" My tone said I didn't want to discuss it. _And if I'm right about Raptor, and I usually am, that's exactly how to get her to ask about it._

"Well, I don't see any other ideas, so lay it on me" Shepard replied.

_(What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get her meld with us?)_

_)Took you long enough( _I replied smugly. "Well, since she's an expert on the protheans, she might be able to help figure the visions out"

Shepard looked confused. "How could she help us with that? I wouldn't be able to describe it with as much detail as would be needed, and I doubt you'd be able to either."

_(You were right, you are insane! She doesn't have to meld until we get the other half and the cipher. She shouldn't even have to meld first off)_

_)In game, she had just been rescued. She's had two days, and she'd have come up with it herself anyway.(_

Liara was puzzled a moment, then realized what I was suggesting. "Of course! If we were to meld minds, I might be able to help you understand the visions."

Shepard shrugged, then turned to me. "So who should go first?"

I pretend to think it over, though she'd actually fallen into my strategy perfectly. "Well, you were the one who got knocked out. Maybe you got more information?" I suggested.

"That seems like it would make sense." Liara agreed.

"Well, it's worth a shot." Shepard agreed. Liara went over to stand in front of her. She reached a hand out, putting it on Shepard's forehead. "Relax commander." Shepard's eyes shut. Liara's did the same for a moment, then opened again, almost all black. "Embrace eternity!"

I watched them, timing it out. After about two minutes, Liara's eyes went back to normal, and she stepped back from Shepard. "That was, intense."

_(Think it was good for Shepard too?)_

_)Heh, I'll have to remember to use that one sometime(_

"Did you find anything?" Kaiden asked.

Liara shook her head. "No. Actually, the vision seems incomplete. Perhaps there is another half that would make it more clear. Perhaps Lt. Bourne has-" She staggered, and Shepard rushed to catch her. _Well, it worked that time. Now I just have to do it one more time._

"Are you ok?"

"I am fine Commander. It is simply that melding minds is exhausting. The other's mind, particularly one as strong willed as yours, instinctively resists the melding."

Shepard seem to realize exactly how close they were, and took a few steps back.

"It is only passing. As I was saying, Lt Bourne may have the missing half of the vision."

She turned to me, but I held up a hand, forestalling her. "Maybe you ought to wait on doing that. You've recovered, but I don't think doing that twice in one day is such a good idea. You had a hard enough time doing it with Shepard. I doubt melding with the mind of someone who was recently pumped full of Biotic suppressants would be a good idea either. Hows about we wait for a while?"

Garrus spoke up. "Are you sure that it's wise to wait?"

I looked at him, then looked at Liara as though reconsidering. "No way. I'm not going to risk her health over this." I blinked, and a white light filled the inside of my eyelids as I pointed at her. I opened my eyes and saw her staggering slightly once again, Shepard again catching her. "Bourne is right. You should head to the Medbay and rest up."

"I suppose you are right. Are we done here then?"

"We're done for now. Head down to the doctor. The rest of you: dismissed."

Joker's voice came over the intercom. "Hey commander, you want me to wait on sending the mission report so Bourne can add his input?"

I answered "Yeah, let's do it that way. "

"That's what she said"

"Hey Joker, you realize as your commanding officer I could recommend you for some big award, and then you'd have to attend some big ceremony and shave off that beard you've probably been working on for weeks?"

"Roger that Bourne. Shutting up now."

"Good answer"

The others filed out of the room, but I stood against the wall a moment. _Damn, I am weaker than I thought. Biotics took more out me then they should have._

_(I very much hate to admit it, but that was a good plan. Although simply trying hid your glowing eyes by blinking was a bit of a risk. You still haven't explained how you plan to keep Liara from finding out about me though…)_His voice faded.

_)You still there?( _Silence was the only reply, but I wasn't going to complain. _So either Iron can only talk to me if there's a danger of discovery, or maybe only during certain points in time? At least he's out of my head for now. _I left the room, and almost walked right into Shepard. She smiled and handed me a blank data pad.

"What's this for?"

"Did you expect to write your report with a gun?"

"Well, at least that'd be fun." I smirked. I took the data pad, mentally groaning. _Paperwork. Great. Still, it's better than Iron. But even if he's not actively in my head, how much is he influencing my thoughts anyway? Now that I think about it, He could have manipulated them just like I did. _

_No. I'm not going to push responsibility for this purely on him. I made the choice to do that, just like I made the choice about Virmire. This time, I'm not deciding just because he's in my head, trying to make as dark as he is. I'm making the choice because I'm not a hero. I'm not Shepard. _

_I'm Jason Bourne._

_ I'm not a hero, I'm not evil. If I have to sacrifice others to save lives, so be it. If I have to let people die, because they can't be saved, I will. Iron would agree with me on that. The difference is, he would do it and be gleeful. He wouldn't care. I do. That's what separates me from scum like him. I'm not a hero, and I know it. I'll bare that guilt though. The alternative is worse. I don't like it._

_I am Jason Bourne. I'll do the right thing, even if I have to be a villain to act like a hero. I won't stop until the Reapers are gone, or I am. _

_I know what the future holds, and I know everything that can happen. I don't know why I was brought here, or how I was brought here. But I do know this: The Reapers aren't going to win. Not unless it's over my dead, cold body._

_I am Jason Bourne. I don't have another name now. I'm a Spectre. I'm not a hero. But Shepard is, and I'm not going to let her fail._

**_O_k, maybe that last bit went on a little long. Either way, I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a World of Fiction." I'm not going to say when the next chapter might be up, since that'd jinx it, but It'll definately be a shorter wait. Until next time, sayonara.**


	22. Oh Joy I get to deal with idiots

**Ok, so much for more frequent updates. I think it's probably going to mostly be weekends, maybe Fridays, rarely Thursdays. I haven't been able to find time the rest of the week.**

**Any who, the nnext few chapters after this are going to have some side stories/missions I think I can best…weave into the story, for lack of a better term. But I'd like to know if there are any you guys think are especially emotional, or powerful, or whatever. 'Bourne' is way nerdier than I am in real life, so there might be side missions I missed-which of course Bourne didn't- that could really add to the story.**

**I'm also going to spend one- or maybe more, depending on how it ends up developing- getting away from the game, and putting in some of my own ideas. **

**Ok, authors notes ended up too long to say I don't own Mass Effect, so I'm just going to skip that part. Oh, Wait…**

_Where the hell is Bourne? _Shepard wondered. _He said he was almost done with that report! I've been waiting for almost twenty minutes._

Just then, Shepard heard the door slide open behind her, and saw Bourne walk into the comm room.

"_Really need to ask Tali to try and make that thing go faster" _He muttered to himself.

"Yeah, I know. You ready?" Shepard asked.

"NO. So let's just get this over with."

"That's what she-"

"That wasn't funny the first time Shepard."

"Was too." Shepard had to fight the urge to stick her tongue out at him. _I swear, he brings out my most juvenile side sometimes. _

"Joker, set up the link."

His voice crackled over the intercom. "Roger that Bourne, reports are away."

Shepard turned to face the Holo-projecters. Bourne did the same, but he was notably more tense. _Not surprising, considering how much the Turian loved promoting him to Spectre. I doubt there was anybody who wasn't surprised when I did that. Looking back, even I'm not sure why I did it. I don't regret it of course, but it seems like it was just a spur of the moment decision._

The Holo-Projecter flickered into life, the Councilors' holograms appearing out of thin air.

"_Here we go," _Bourne muttered under his breath, so low Shepard only barely heard it.

"We just received your report commander, although we'd have preferred to have had it sooner." The Asari said.

The turian interrupted. "If I had wanted delayed reports-"

Bourne cut him off. "If you feel it's a legitimate concern, I'd be more than happy to discuss it with you. But if you just want to complain, do it somewhere else." The Turian sputtered indignantly, while Bourne continued. "I'll assume you just haven't had time to read it, but if you had taken 10 seconds to skim it, you'd know exactly why my report was delayed." _Oh yeah, that's one reason I wanted him as my second. He doesn't take shit from anyone, but usually knows where to toe the line._

The Turian finally regained his voice "Remember who you're speaking to lieutenant Bourne." Bourne's expression didn't change, but his eyes flashed dangerously. Shepard realized a second later that they had literally flashed, his Biotics only barely restrained. So much for toeing the line. _Keep your cool Bourne, _Shepard silently prayed. _The last thing we need is for these two to get into a fight. _

"I understand Dr. T'soni is on the Normandy" the Asari interrupted, stopping the argument before it began. _Thank god, between these two a fight would last hours._

"I hope you are taking the necessary safety precautions. The last thing we need is for your mission to be compromised by a vorcha on your ship" The Salarian stated.

Shepard was confused a moment, and could tell Bourne was as well, then realized that "Vorcha" meant was about the Alien equivalent of "mole" or "rat."

"I agree. Are you sure it's wise to bring her aboard without guards?" The Turian agreed. He seemed to be directing his words directly at Bourne, apparently blaming him for the decision.

"She's on our side. The geth- and by extension Saren- were trying to kill her." Shepard said.

"Benezia would never allow Saren to kill her daughter." The Asari replied calmly, trying to keep a lid on the situation.

"And how do you know it wasn't an elaborate ruse?" The Turian countered.

Bourne closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He seemed focused inward a moment, then his eyes snapped open. "Isn't the point of a ruse usually to be a trap?" he asked rhetorically "Considering she's half the reason I'm standing here instead of being a stain on the ground, I really doubt it was a trap."

"What do you mean by that?" The Salarian asked.

Bourne grinned a moment, then said "You didn't read any of the report did you? To make a long report brief, to get her out, we had to bore through with a mining laser, which subsequently caused a seismic event. When we made our way outside to the Ship, the platform we were on collapsed. If she and Lt and Lt Alenko-" Shepard thought she heard a strange note- of what she wasn't sure, maybe regret?- when he said Kaiden's name, but it was so brief she hardly gave it a second thought. "- hadn't Biotically kept me in the Air, I'd have fallen down a long way." It was clear what he meant by his tone.

"That's the reason your report was delayed? You 'almost died?'" Bourned gritted his teeth at the Air quote.

"No Councilor-" his voice held a tone of warning, and of barely constrained anger. _Careful Bourne, don't push him too far. "_The reason my report was delayed was that I got shot in the side by a modded shotgun, got a collapsed lung, had to have my torn up liver replaced with a flash cloned one, went into cardiac arrest, had to have my heart restarted, and then spent three days in the Medlab recovering. THAT'S why my report was late"

The Turian waved a hand dismissively. "Then Shepard should have sent her report, and sent yours when you recovered."

_Bourne was right; people do seem to always assume I'm in charge._ "With all due respect counselor, Bourne is as much in command of this ship- and in charge of this mission- as I am. It wouldn't have made sense to only send my report."

"Under the circumstances, I believe the Commander made the right decision. However, I am not convinced that bringing Dr. T'soni on board was a good idea." The Asari said evenly. _She seems to be the only one that doesn't hate us. Or at least the only one that thinks we're actually competent._

"Did you miss the part where she saved my ass?" Bourne shot hotly.

"We still have no proof that she isn't working with Benezia." The Asari replied evenly.

"So you also missed the part about the attempted murder via Geth?"

"It's possible that Saren ordered the attack without Benezia's knowledge." The Salarian cut in. "That might explain both sets of ideas."

Shepard realized something else. "If she was working with Benezia, wouldn't I have seen that when she melded minds with me?"

"What? You melded minds with her?" The Asari replied incredulously.

Bourne facepalmed. "I knew I forgot to add something in my report. But then again, you, probably wouldn't have read it anyway." _Good catch Bourne. We don't need her against us too._

"As an expert on the Protheans, Bourne had the idea she might be able to help make sense of the visions." Shepard glanced at Bourne, ready for him to make a joke about blaming him, but he didn't seem focused on the conversation. _That's more than the Boredom he had when we were discussing plans on the citadel. He seems like he's completely tuning everything out and thinking about something else. _

He nodded to himself, and seemed to focus on the conversation again. "What, are you suggesting she blocked out part of her memories, or hid her thoughts or something?" He sounded sarcastic, but at the same time, _Is he fishing for information or something? His voice still seems to have a distracted edge to it._

The Asari sighed a bit impatiently. "I think you are confusing a simple mind meld with joining." _No wonder he was hesitant to suggest it._ "A mind meld only joins the two minds with what information they want to be shared. She could have theoretically been hiding information. The only way it would be impossible to hide anything of someone's past is during a Joining."

"It's a basic fact of Asari culture. I'd have thought you'd have learned it growing up in a mercenary gang" the Turian added smugly.

"There were only a few Asari and they weren't all that talkative about how they liked to-"

"Bourne!" _I really hope we can end this soon. _Bourne just looked at Shepard and rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, how could she have hidden something that important from Shepard?" Bourne finished. His tone wasn't hostile, but he was clearly impatient for the conversation to be over.

"At least the mission was a success" The Salarian pointed out. "And if she is actually a traitor- though in light of the evidence I doubt it- the most logical place is on board the Normandy."

The turian Harrumphed. "I would hardly call the destruction of a major Prothean ruin a success. Was that really necessary Bourne?"

Bourne's response was to reach over and terminate the projector. "No, but I think that was."

Shepard glared daggers at him. _Though considering his choice of weapons, it doesn't seem that effective._" Bourne, the last thing we need is for you to make enemies with them. Joker, can you reestablish communication?"

The Holo-projecter flickering back on was enough of a reply.

The Asari crossed her arms. "I DO NOT appreciate being cut off like that Bourne."

Bourne stayed silent, though his lips raised in a slight smile. "I'll be sure not to do it again then." _Yeah right. I'll believe that when I see a pig with biotic powers._

The Turian glared at him even more than before. "I'll let that slide this once. But only this once." He turned his attention back to Shepard. "Where do you plan to go next in your investigation?"

Shepard shook her head. "We actually won't be able to continue for at least a week. Our ground vehicle was destroyed by the volcano, and according to Udina, that's how long it will take to get a replacement."

Bourne turned his head to face Shepard. "When did you speak with Udina?"

"When you were in the med-bay recovering" she replied. "We plan on staying on the Citadel during that time for Shore leave."

The Turian's grating voice was filled with irritation. "Your main priority is to stop Saren, not to spend time vacationing!"

Shepard kept her tone even, though a small part of her almost wanted to follow Bourne's example. "We'll have to wait there anyway, so we might as well let our crew enjoy themselves. This ship still has an Alliance crew, even if Bourne and I are Spectres."

Bourne smirked. "And I am really not in the mood to deal with a mutiny." _For once we agree._

"If it was to come to that, maybe you are incompetent to command." The Turian replied scathingly.

"Do you actually need anything else, or are you just whining now?"

"Don't test my patience Bourne. We will be waiting for your next report." It was clearly a dismissal.

Bourne held up a hand. "Oh, wait, one more thing."

"What?"

"Goodbye" he smirked, then cut the channel again. Shepard just glared at him as he doubled over laughing.

**My POV.**

_Man, the look on their faces when they realized what I was doing- Priceless!_

_(For someone who claims not to be like me, you seemed to-)_

_)There's a difference between being evil, and thinking the Council is a group of idiots.(_

_(That's because they are. They played right into our hands-)_

_)MY HANDS(_

_(-your hands when you asked about being able to hide information during a mind meld. As long as I stay out of the way, and you focus only on the Vision, we shouldn't be discovered.)_

_)For once bronze, we agree.(_

_("Bronze"? Why is it out of all the people I could have been stuck with, I ended up with you?)_

_)I'm not thrilled about this arrangement either(_

_(If it wasn't for me you'd know nothing about what brought you here)_

_)Yeah yeah, whatever Mr. Silver. And we don't agree on one thing(_

_(And what would that be?)_

_)Letting Liara be the first we try it with. I suggest we wait until we need the Cipher, and try with Shiala(_

_(Why?)_

_)Secrecy is paramount. We can't kill Liara if she finds anything, but we can kill Shiala(_

_(… You're more like me than I thought)_

With that, I blocked him out. I had been surprised when I had managed to communicate with him by choice to ask about mind melding. The off shoot was that I lost almost all awareness of my surroundings. Luckily the council hadn't noticed, but I hoped the same could be said of Shepard.

_And I am nothing like him. He would kill her because he enjoys it. I would only do it if it was the only way to keep secrecy._

"Are you finished Bourne?" Asked Shepard.

"Oh come on, don't be such a stick in the mud. You thought it was funny too." Her mouth twitched in a grin, but it was only passing.

I sighed. "To be fair, I could have done a lot worse."

"I suppose that's true" Shepard grudgingly admitted.

"I swear I got a head ache just from talking to that turian. Who the hell shoved a stick so far up his ass?"

Shepard chuckled in spite of herself.

"Hey Joker, what's our ETA to the Citadel?"

"About 4 hours Bourne"

I turned to Shepard. "If you need me, I'll be down on the Shooting range working out some stress."

"Of course you will."

**Next Chapter: Don't insult my Ship/ I hate Reporters.**

**Bonus point if you guess what's coming up next chapter. I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a World of Fiction" and if I do end up not updating for a bit, don't worry. I have way too many ways I can have Bourne mess with Miranda later on too stop here. I literally have about twice as much of the Sequel planned as this one. Not that I'm not thinking ahead about this one of course. **

**Also one more thing: Shepards comment about Biotic Pigs was meant as a joke, but then I started thinking about it, and I thought of a new series. Keep your eyes peeled.**


	23. Don't insult my Ship!

**Hey, look at that, I actually managed to get a chapter before next weekend. I'm on a roll now. **

**There's not really much of introduction for this chapter, I know, but I couldn't think of a good Segway besides another elevator joke. And I'm starting to over use those. **

**The proof that I don't own Mass Effect is how slow they made the things go. I'm not evil enough to do that.**

I sighted down the barrel, and took a deep breath. I pulled the trigger, right as the Hologram Krogan dodged to the side. I fired wildly, my scattered shots having no effect. The few that hit it had almost no power. It fired its assault rifle, and the Holo rounds hit my right in the side, 'killing me' and ending the simulation.

"Son of a b- again?" _How do those damn Krogan move so fast? They're the size of a small tank! _I had been down here about 2 hours, and it looked like I'd been lying about getting rid of stress.

I angrily canceled the program, and put my pistol away in a hip holster. I had actually worked off most of my stress taking down holo-geth with my Assault rifles and Shotgun, but I had built it right back up with my sub-par pistol skills. I brought up my omni-tool to check our eta, and saw that we'd be docking in about 20 minutes. _No more time to practice I guess. Not if I don't want to smell like manure._

I hit the showers, then headed for my locker. I still felt like there was a storm cloud over my head. _I don't get it. I know I'm less accurate with a pistol, but I should still be able to take down one enemy! Maybe I just need to switch some upgrades around. The Chemical coated rounds I have it using now rely on damage over time, which worked fine in game, but I need them to have a little more power in reality._

I almost considered getting Iron's option, but then thought about it, and decided not to. _Besides, he'd just insult me some more. Still, if I was to miss like that in battle- _

_(you wouldn't be able to just reload to the last save)_

With some effort, I managed to block Iron out. _Damn it, I should know better than to think of things like that. Gives him the perfect opening to strike._

I just sighed and got out my gear.

I must have been distracted by my poor performance, since I didn't even hear Garrus coming up behind me.

"Bourne?"

I very nearly flicked a knife into my hand, but luckily for Garrus I hadn't replenished my knives yet. _I must be hung up on it if I'm that tightly wound. Or that unfocused. _ "What's up Garrus?" My mind was racing through the possibilities, almost as fast as Mordin. It was annoying at times to be able to figure out almost any possibility, helpful as it could be at other times. I figured he'd either be asking to join Shepard or me on the Citadel, or else to help him take down a certain crazy doctor. _But then again, it seems a bit too early to be asking about it. Though since it isn't a game he's not as bound by-_

He looked towards the engine room, then back to me, cutting off my line of thought. "It's about Tali. She's still blaming herself for what happened on Therum."

I sighed. "I know. I tried talking to her, but no luck. Did you ask Shepard about it? Working things like that out is more her specialty."

"I asked her to talk to Tali, but she hasn't got the chance yet. Maybe you could soften Tali up for her?"

I leaned back against the wall, considering it. I had bragged about being able to read people, but most of my "skill" came from knowing what they'd do. Still, I knew that Tali had confidence issues at times, which was probably the main problem. "Maybe, but unless I knew how to convince her, it might just make it worse. She did say that some of you guys had talked to her… Any luck for you?"

"No. I thought red tape was hard to cut through, but her guilt is even worse." His tone sounded light, but he was obviously upset. _Why though? Is it because he's blaming himself for her blaming herself? God I hope not. But I can't think of another reason_.

I shrugged. "Well, you did your best. I can't figure out why she's so stubbornly saying it's her fault. I was the idiot that suggested the damn mining laser." I smirked. "And Shepard's the one who let her open the gate on me like a-"

"Like a what?" Shepard asked from behind me. I mentally face palmed again. _Damnit! I really need to work on that. First I didn't hear Garrus, now I didn't hear her, what's next? Is Wrex going to manage to make me jump a foot in the air? _

"You might want to just give up now while you're ahead" Garrus said, clearly trying to keep from laughing. 

"Laugh it up Garrus" Shepard said, rolling her eyes. "You ready to go Bourne?"

I grabbed my crate of spare knives from under Ashley's usual station. _Where is she, anyway?_ "Just about."

"Do you have any specific plans?" Garrus asked.

"Not really. Bourne and I need to talk to Udina-" I groaned. "Then we pretty much have Shore leave for a few days."

"Who's coming with?" I asked. "Unlikely as it is, we seem to attract people who want to shoot at us."

"Haven't asked yet."

I scratched my chin, thinking. "Maybe we could bring Tali, and try to cheer her up."

"That might work" Garrus agreed. "But maybe we should wait until after you talk to the politicians."

I raised an eyebrow in question. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It might cause some trauma if she sees you blow his head off."

I heard Shepard chuckle behind me, though when I turned to face her, she had a perfect poker face. "What?" She asked innocently. I just shook my head and put the crate away.

"Let's just talk to the damn Politician and get it over with." I growled. Shepard rolled her eyes and headed for the elevator, while Garrus went to ask Tali about joining us later. I got in beside Shepard, and the Elevator started moving up. Shepard waited in silence, her military training and experience lending her plenty of patience. I fidgeted like a kid waiting for Christmas. The elevator doors opened, and I nearly walked face first into Ashley. _Though under the right conditions, that really wouldn't be so bad _I thought with a mental smile.

"Hey, skipper?" She asked Shepard, seemly trying to catch my eye, and ignoring me simultaneously. I had told her Shepard already knew, but apparently she still was trying to keep it under wraps. I could see a small smile tugging at Shepard's lips.

"Yes?" _Ok, now I'm sure Shepard is Preoccupied. _

"Tali's still blaming her-"

Shepard cut her off. "Yeah, Garrus was just talking to us about that." _Damn, she is in a weird mood. _"We were going to take her with us on the citadel to try cheering her up. You interested in tagging along?"

"Sure." She looked us over, then said "I'm guessing by all the guns that's not what you're doing right now."

Shepard laughed. "Well with Bourne you never know." _I'm standing right here!_

"If I wanted to cheer somebody up by bringing them with me for a fight, I'd probably be trying to cheer up a Krogan, don't you think?"

"Good point." Ashley said with a smirk.

Shepard just shook her head. "Actually, first we need to talk to Udina. Then we can actually enjoy ourselves."

"What? Talking to Udina isn't fun? No Freaking Way!" My tone was practically dripping with sarcasm.

"You want some cheese to go with that Whine Bourne?" Shepard asked.

"Hey, you don't like him either."

"But I don't complain the whole time."

I headed for the stairs, and realized something. _Kaiden actually isn't at his console. Son of a bitch! I'll bet that Shepard wants him along. _

I felt a load of guilt settle on my chest, but I couldn't very well complain. _Yeah I can just imagine that conversation. "Hey Shepard, let's not bring him along. I don't want to get to know him because I plan on killing him so I can keep Ashley, even though he recently saved my hide." Yeah, that's totally a _great _idea. Not._

Unfortunately, I saw I was right when Shepard and I reached the Air lock. "Ready to go Commander?" 

_I'm in charge here too! _I didn't say anything though, knowing I wouldn't be able to keep my emotions under wraps.

"Yep. How's that armor feeling Liara?" I realized I hadn't seen Liara standing there, as her black-grey armor blended in perfectly with the airlock.

"It feels unusual, but I suppose it's better than having no protection at all." I noticed she was carrying just as many guns as Shepard or I, though she'd only be able to use her pistol, at best. _And she seems just as preoccupied as Shepard. _

We entered the airlock, and heard a faint hissing as the Normandy equalized pressure with the Citadel docking bay.

"Logged, the Commanding officer is Ashore. Logged, the Executive officer is ashore. Command falls to navigator Pressley." The Normandy's VI system brought me up short. _Wait, what?_

"Wait, I thought Presley was the XO, so how can he be aboard, and on Shore at the same time?" Kaiden asked, also confused.

"Well, having two Spectres sharing command isn't exactly something that happens everywhere. The closest we could get the Normandy to accept was putting Bourne as the XO." Shepard explained, glancing at me.

I waved a hand unconcernedly. _After all, XO is still higher than I'd have expected by winding up here._

Shepard led the way, followed by the rest of us. I was actually looking forward to this, after I dealt with Udina. Then the Universe decided to screw me over a bit.

With little warning, Kaiden snapped off a salute. "Ten Hutt!"

"Rear Admiral Mikhailovich, Fifth fleet."

Shepard snapped her own Salute. "Nobody told us you were coming Admiral, or we'd have prepared a formal reception."

_Yeah, you would have. Not so sure about this"we" thing though. _I merely crossed my arms, obviously not impressed by the guy.

He looked at me, and his eyes narrowed slightly. I met his gaze evenly, and he turned back to Shepard. "Let's skip the formalities Commander." What went unspoken was that I was already doing that. Shepard glanced at my crossed arms, and the look she shot me told me there'd be hell to pay with her later. _Eh, it's worth it._

"I command the 63rd Scout Flotila. You and the Normandy were slated to my unit after shakedown."

I chuckled. "How'd that work out?" Shepard kept her attention focused on the Admiral, but she clenched her fists.

The admiral glared at me. "You should know exactly how well. The Council got their paws, tentacles, whatever on her and our Ship, then put a Lt. as co-commander." _I swear to god, who do I have to kill to get a higher rank? _

I bit back a heated response. _I really couldn't care less about what he thinks of me, but I'm not going to screw up what he thinks about Shepard._

_(how very noble of you)_

_)Shut up copper.(_

"We still serve the Alliance Admiral. As a Spectre, I can advance our interests to the Council." I almost face-palmed at Shepard's optimism. _I just had to make her that much of a goody two-shoes, didn't I? I think I prefer it when she just starts kicking ass._

"Hmmph. Do you two still know what color your blood is?" He asked with a bit of sarcasm. _Yeah, I know very well considering I just had my side torn up like hamburger! _I almost said it out loud, then saw Liara standing off to the side, and decided against it. _I've already got Tali blaming herself for Therum, I really don't need Liara feeling guilt cause I got hurt talking to her. _" I don't begrudge the Politician's decision to throw you to the Council. It's an Opportunity." Shepard nodded in agreement.

Then he went back to being a jack-ass "I do begrudge this overdesigned piece of tin though."

"Hey! Nobody gets to talk about the Normandy like that but me!" Shepard shot me another 'shut up before I hurt you' look. Not that it worked at this point.

"Bourne does have a point sir. The Normandy is the finest ship I've ever served on, and it's served us well so far." Kaiden put in.

Shepard stopped glaring at me long enough to look at Kaiden in surprise.

"Don't kid yourselves. This ship is little more than a gimmick. It's useless in a real fight. This Experiment cost billions, enough that we could have built a heavy cruiser for the same price."

I was really getting sick of this. "Yes well, unfortunately for all of us, complaining about it isn't going to magically turn it into your ship. So unless you're here for a purpose, you're keeping us from a meeting."

"I'm here to make an inspection. Normandy is still an Alliance ship, and I intend to see that she's still in good condition after being handed over to a former mercenary." I took a deep breath, keeping my Biotic under control.

"I'm sure you'll find everything in order Admiral." Shepard said evenly. _Damn, she is definitely pissed off at me. _

"Wait here. I won't be long." He went into the ship, and Shepard wheeled around to face me.

"BOURNE" She didn't even seem to have words. "Believe it or not, pissing off an admiral is not a good idea! If he wanted to, he could delay our Requisitions order for a month!"

"Shepard, for all his talk about us being a waste, do you really think he'd deliberately make our job harder? And even if he wanted to, Spectre stasis grants us near invulnerability to Bullshit like that."

"He still outranks both of us."

"Shepard, just about everyone outranks me. When does that ever stop me?"

"That's not the point!" She seemed on the verge of saying more, then just walked away in a huff. She paced while she waited for the Admiral, and kept shooting me looks that screamed 'I'm pissed off at you'.

Finally, the jack-ass walked back out. "I'm not happy commander."

"I'm sorry to hear that sir." Shepard replied.

"I'm not" I muttered.

"What engineer designed your CIC? Putting the Commander behind everyone else in inefficient. What if you had to give commands to the Pilot, or the others towards the bow?"

Shepard, to her credit, didn't even bat an eye. "It's a turian design. They prefer to have their commanders keeping an eye over the shoulder of their subordinates, rather than standing in the midst of them. The Alliance wanted to see how well the set up worked."

He thought it over a moment. "Huh, I suppose that's reasonable. Though they should have tested in a lab first."

"So what else would you like to complain about?" I asked sarcastically.

He turned to me. His face was mostly expressionless, but I could see a small grin. "What about the Normandy's drive core? Do you realize how much that cost? Making it able to move without giving itself away? And what good is sneaking around for a few hours at a time anyway? Justify that!"

_(He obviously doesn't think you'd be able to. And he'd be right if you didn't know exactly what to say)_

I blocked Iron out, and said. "I may prefer a straight up fight, but if I can see the benefits of good information, an admiral of all people should be able to. One intercepted message could let us escape an ambush, or we could attack before they even know we're there. Not to mention being able to get through an enemy detection grid and land on a hostile planet undetected."

He looked convinced despite himself. "Maybe. That still isn't the job of a proper warship"

He turned back to Shepard. "I'd also like to *discuss* your crew commander. Krogan? Turian? A quarian for god's sake? What are you thinking?"

_OK, That's where I draw the line. _I focused a small amount of Biotic power into a finger, making my eyes flash with light. My voice was cold as ice "You can insult me, hell you can even insult my ship. But those "Aliens" saved my ass not even a week ago. SO DON'T EVEN GO THERE."

His eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't give him the chance. "Unlike you, I'm willing to find allies where ever I can. And considering exactly what we're going up against, treating other races with distrust is not the way to get them on our side. "

"I've yet to see proof that they're worth having on our side." I clenched my fist. My Biotic powers were getting harder to keep under wraps, so I focused it all into a sphere of energy right in the middle of my fist.

"In fact, I almost prefer having them on an alliance vessel over having you in charge." My biotics dissipated as I went slack jawed at his comment. Not in anger, I was already pissed off, but I was surprised he had said it to my face.

_(He's either the balliest guy ever, or the dumbest.) _For once, I agreed with Iron.

"At least if they were to steal information, they'd be most likely to sell it to the government. And we'd know exactly where it went. You could be bought out by the highest bidder. I don't care how good you are, a former merc has no place in the Alliance."

It was probably lucky for him I was focused on ignoring Iron's laughter, seeing as I'd have probably…Well, there were a lot of things I wanted to do to him. All of them involved Biotics, and lots of pain for him.

"That's enough Admiral!" Shepard cut in, surprising everyone. "It wasn't your decision then, it isn't your decision now. If I want him as my XO, and the council agreed, it's none of your damn business"

The jerk-off finally found his voice again. "Even if he can be proven trustworthy, He has no experience with command."

"If you want to bring experience into this, then you had better remember just what happened on Akuze" Her voice faltered slightly as she said this, but she continued. "If I recall, that was one of the main points against me for years. If you have a beef with one of us, you have a beef with both of us."

He looked shocked by the outburst, but he was nothing compared to Kaiden. His jaw was almost literally on the floor.

"Even if you don't think the Normandy is up to snuff, I personally consider its crew, including Bourne, the best I could have."

He was cowed by her words. "Hmpph. At least he seems to be good at commanding loyalty. I will say that. I'll take your opinions into account when I submit my report. It will not be as negative as I had planned. I'm still not convinced the Normandy isn't a waste of money, but I can see you both belive otherwise, and will use to the best of its ability."

He saluted. "Good hunting Commander, make us proud." Shepard returned the salute. He turned to me, and I made sure to keep a very fine grasp over my Biotics. "I'm still not convinced about you Lt. Bourne, but you clearly aren't what I thought. I wouldn't have put you in charge myself, but maybe Shepard did make the right call." He saluted again, and this time I returned it.

He left, heading for another part of the dock.

I was speechless as I turned to Shepard. I just stared at her for a moment.

"If you keep staring like that, won't Ashley get Jealous?" She asked. Kaiden looked at me in suprise, then at Shepard again.

I shook my head. "So what happened to not pissing him off?" I finally asked.

"He was dumb enough to piss me off first." She obviously was still a little bit miffed at me, but considering how she had spoken up for me just now, I wasn't too worried.

"Maybe we should head for the Ambassador's office?" Kaiden suggested mildly. He seemed worried that one of us would explode.

"Yeah, good idea." Shepard agreed. We headed into the elevator. When we reached the top after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, I groaned. _Great, just what I need. A reporter. More specifically, the reporter so annoying, shecan be falcon punched. _

Shepard didn't seem to notice, until she waved us over. Shepard looked at her in question.

" Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News." _Great. Just what I need, another person who pisses me off. _

**Ok, this seems like a good place to "Save and Quit." I have several chapters planned out, so they might go up faster. Emphasis on "might."**

**And am I the only one that thinks it sound like she saying "Police have been seen in Al-Jilanai"? Seriosly, wierdest name ever.**


	24. I Hate  Reporters!

**Ok, here we go. Continued from last chapter.**

**I don't own Mass Effect, or you'd be able to punch that damn reporter more than twice.**

" Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News." _Great, just what I need, another person who pisses me off. _

"Would you be willing to answer a few questions for our viewers Commander Shepard?"

"Depends on the Questions." She stated evenly.

"People back home have heard a lot of wild stories about you Commander, especially after not only being promoted to Spectre stasis yourself, but also convincing the Council to Promote a Mercenary to Spectre Stasis."

"I think you mean Former bounty hunter." She turned her attention to me.

"Ah yes, Lt. Bourne isn't it?" _I swear to freaking god, the next person to call me __Lt__. Bourne gets kicked right in the-_

_(Violent today, aren't we?)_

_)Shut up! (_

"Yeah, that's me. Though I really need to talk to somebody about getting a higher rank." I managed not to let my irritation show in my tone.

"I'm sure. There are a lot of rumors about you as well. Feel like setting the record straight?"

Shepard cleared her throat, getting her attention. "So long as you understand we may not be able to answer all your questions."

"I'm sure the Viewers will understand." _I don't think she means that in a good way._

Al-Jilani activated her Omni-Tool, and brought in a Camera drone. "This is Khalisah bint Sinan Al-Jilani, Westerlund News. I'm here with the first human Spectres, Commander Raptor Shepard, and Lt. Jason Bourne." She spun the Camera around to face us, and seemed to look at us both for the first time, appearing to compare the two of us.

Shepard had her hands at her sides, looking every bit the Military women she was. The Spartanly decorated armor helped; the only décor she had was the Red Stripe of Rank down her right arm, and the N7 on her chest.  
>I, on the other hand, looked every bit the Merc I claimed to be, between the Red Omega on my chest, my cameo pattern, and my collection of knives. That and my crossed arms and cocky stance.<p>

She focused in on Shepard's face. "Humans have been trying, not all successfully, to get the respect of the galactic Community for 26 years. Bearing this in mind, what are your thoughts on being one of only two human Spectres?"

Shepard didn't even have to think about it. "The Spectres represent the best of the best of every species in the Galaxy. Being asked to join them is a true honor."

"I see. Some have called your appointment "the Council throwing humanity a bone". What are your thoughts on this Lt. Bourne?"

She turned to face me. "Well I can't say for humanity in general, but It seems like I was tossed one. Shepard's the only reason I'm a Spectre, in more ways than one."

"You seem to be avoiding the question."

_(Have you had enough of her disingenuous assertions yet? Heh, heh, couldn't resist.)_

_)You are insane. And no, not quite yet. Though if she keeps calling me __Lt__, I'm going to find a new home for that camera.( _

"Ok then, let me put it into perspective. There are just under a dozen different races that the Council is responsible for. They try helping humanity out, but there are a lot of other races as well. They can only do so much at a time. If letting a pair of Humans join the Spectres is the best way they can do it at the time, it's what they'll do."

She turned back to Shepard. "So is Bourne right Shepard? Or have there been instances where the Council asked you to place its needs ahead of humanity's?"

"The council has to stay focused on the Galactic community as a whole. We're only one of many that they need to focus on."

"You really do believe that don't you? You were given Command of an Advanced Alliance Warship for your mission. Do you have anything to say about that?"

I fought back residual hot-headedness from the earlier conversation, and let Shepard handle it. "Actually, the Normandy was co-developed by humans, and by turians. The design has many innovations not found in other warships. All of which are classified I'm afraid."

"Do you have anything to add Lt. Bourne?"

"Just one thing. The next person to call me Lt. Bourne is getting run over by the damn ship. And Shepard is right about it being classified."

She didn't even flinch. "So the Turians have knowledge of the Normandy that's being kept secret from the Alliance public? Do you think it was appropriate to hand over the most advanced warship we have over to the Citadel?" Her tone was accusatory.

Shepard's eyes narrowed dangerously. _(She might hit her before you do.)_

_)What makes you think I'd do that?(_

_(The fact that you just pictured hitting her over the head with own camera.)_

_)….The mind reading is __really__ creepy man . (_

"I wasn't aware that I had been handed over to anyone." Shepard said coldly. " Bourne and I are still in command. Last time I checked, I'm human, and so is the majority of my crew."

"Majority?"

I spoke up, more to help drown out the psycho sharing my skull then anything. "We have a few non-humans who have volunteered to help us stop Saren."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"I'd trust anyone of them with my life. They already saved my hide once, and I'd be do the same for them."

"So you have no problem working with aliens?"

"Why should I ? To every other race, we humans are the Aliens. I don't see why that means we can't get along."

"And you were raised by Aliens on an alien station, is that right?"

"I'd prefer the term "non-human" over alien, but you're correct more or less." _Well, that's the story anyway. Though I'd like to know how she found that out._

"So then, would you like to explain why you wanted a former mercenary as your second in command Shepard?"

I thought I had gotten the full force of Shepard's death stare earlier, but the reporter was getting far more then I had. "He proved himself to me. If the Council or anyone else didn't like it, they should have spoken up sooner."

"Well given your Experience on Akuze, I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing." She sarcastically. I saw Shepard's glare collapse, replaced by shock and horror. The only time she'd looked so vulnerable was right after we were attacked by maws before finding Liara. I felt a surge of anger and my eyes glowed with the light of a sun.

_(I take it that means you've had enough of her disin-)_

I cut Iron off by ramming a Biotically powered fist right through the Camera. It flickered, barely functioning. "Sorry folks, she's having some technical difficulties, so we're going to have to cut this short." I punctuated the last statement by ramming my other fist into it, and ripping it in half, like I had that Geth back on Eden Prime. The pieces scattered across the floor. People were suddenly a lot more eager to leave.

She just stood there shocked. "Sorry about that." I smirked. "I really ought to keep a better lid on my temper."

"Do you have any idea how much that cost?" She screamed. "I'm going to make sure everyone in the Alliance sees that. Your career is ov-" I cut her off by lifting her one handed, my strength boosted by my Biotics.

I put her face right in front of mine. I could see my glowing eyes reflected in hers. "You should be damn glad I smashed in the camera and not your face." I growled. She went silent, her eyes wide with fear. "I don't give a damn what you say about me, but bringing that up, **was a mistake**" Even I was amazed at the Venom in my tone. I almost considered a knockout blow, then shook my head.

I just dropped her on the floor distastefully. "Next time, stick to smearing the Council." I turned away, paying her no more attention than I would a fly. Then I noticed a second camera hovering nearby. I smiled mockingly and waved at it, then flung a piece of the destroyed camera at it Biotically. _No sense wasting a perfectly good knife after all. _

_(Wow. I didn't think it was possible for you to be a bad ass like that. Though I'd have shot her once I-)_

I didn't even pay attention to Iron; I was more concerned about _Raptor _Shepard. She still looked shocked. Well, I didn't think anyone wasn't shocked, but she was "horrible memories" shocked, not "OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE WHAT THAT BIOTIC MANIAC JUST DID? RUN!" shocked like everyone else. I had even seen an Elcor go running, and they were supposed to prefer moving slowly.

"Shepard?"

She shook her head, clearly fighting back the memories. "I'm fine" She only then seemed to realize what had just happened. "You, on the other hand, I'm worried about."

"You're welcome" I smirked, looking at the remains of the Cameras. "Come on, let's go to talk to Udina before that airs and he's scared to be within a hundred feet of me."

I headed over to a rapid transit terminal, followed by Kaiden, then Shepard and Liara farther back. Luckily I was able to disguise my guilt- both over Virmire and having made Shepard relive such painful memories- with my residual anger from the admiral and the reporter.

I dialed programed the Shuttle for the ambassador's office, then climbed into the front seat. Kaiden got Shotgun, while Shepard and Liara wound up in back. Kaiden seemed content to just keep his mouth shut, which suited me just fine.

Unfortunately, Shepard and Liara were whispering in the back of the car; and my way-too-good hearing meant I could hear everything.

"Are you sure you're alright commander? I saw only the barest glimpse of your past when I joined my mind to yours, but Ak- The experience the reporter mentioned stood out vividly"

I now had a choice: Listen to Iron's tirade about how being renegade like I had just been was way better than being a "goody-goody", try to make conversation with the guy I was destined to kill, or eavesdrop on one of the few people I really considered my friend. _Some choice _I thought bitterly, _but it's the least of the three evils. _

"I don't know Liara. I've been through it so many times in nightmares, but it never gets easier to talk about. I think I end up at my weakest when I do."

"You are a lot of things Raptor, but never weak. I saw that vividly in your mind." Shepard leaned her head against the Asari's shoulder. _Raptor__? Wait a minute…_

"At least that's one good thing about winding up chasing after Saren. I wouldn't have met you otherwise."

"I would be much less happy as well I think, had I not met you." Liara leaned her head against Shepard's. Even Kaiden had noticed by this point, and I saw he was both surprised, and not all together pleased.

_)Hey Iron, do me a favor and call me an idiot(_

_(…..Ok…You're the biggest idiot I know)_

I wanted to smack myself for not seeing it before. _Considering I'm technically the reason these two ended up together- or maybe will end up together, I can't' tell- it took me way too long to figure out. Huh, no wonder Shepard was in such a weird mood._

Nobody talked the rest of ride, thankfully not even Iron. He seemed as surprised as I was by the realization.

We eventually reached the offices, and went upstairs to talk to the Ambassador. Shepard and Liara were definitely closer together than before. _Ok, I'm actually going to have to ask how that came about. _

He was looking over something when I walked in. I had taken the lead, since Shepard was still sore from the Reporter's blow.

He held up the Report and said "Bourne, you are not making my job easy. First you lose an expensive piece of military equipment that will take at least a week to replace, then I find out Dr. Tsoni has joined you on the Normandy."

I raised an eyebrow, and pointed a thumb back at the Asari in question. "Actually, she's not on the Normandy, she's right back there" _Somehow, messing with him is just more fun than messing with the Council or that reporter._

"So I can see. You explained your reasons to the council, and luckily they were satisfied. However, -cutting them off mid-conversation? Twice?"

"I'll apologize later." _Yeah, that's never going to happen. "_I'd think it'd be faster to get one Tank though."

Udina sighed in frustration. "The only reason you're getting it as fast as you are is that Anderson was able to call in several favors. If you lose another one, you'll have to go without it for the normal amount of time."

Kaiden looked at him in surprise. "With all due respect sir, The Normandy is usually incapable of putting us on solid ground without it."

"Then you had best see to it that you don't lose this one." It was clearly a dismissal. "And next time, try to be a bit more diplomatic with the Council"

I just rolled my eyes and left. We piled back into the air car to head back for the Docking Bay, and Shepard and Liara ended up in back again. I was impressed that Kaidan hadn't commented on it by now. The only reason I wasn't, was that I didn't want to embarrass Liara in the One-in-million-chance I was wrong. _But Shepard on the other hand, her I can drive up the wall without feeling guilty._

**Ok, that's going to do it for now. Geez, two chapters in one day? I'm getting better already. **

**I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in World of Fiction." Next chapter should be up…whenever I get around to it. More surprises coming up. Now I don't know why I bothered with that poll so far back, seeing as we probably won't get to Feros for another three chapters minimum. **


	25. Keelah, I Just Don't Understand Aliens

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I'd have gotten a voice actor for male-shep that doesn't sound like **(the rest of this sentence has been censored to avoid pissing people off). **Seriously, why has it taken three games to get a Fem-Shep Trailer?**

**Anywho, lots of different viewpoints this chapter. **

"Tali, might want to adjust the current on circuit 3" Adam's voice snapped Tali back to reality. She did a quick check on the console she had taken over, and saw the Adams was right.

_Oh keelah! I need to focus on what I'm doing. _She adjusted the electric current running through the Element Zero core, but her mind still was weighed down. _I know what Bourne said, what Garrus said, what everybody said. Even the pilot- Joker, isn't it?- told me I shouldn't blame myself._ She double checked the other circuits to make sure she hadn't been distracted and let them get out of balance as well. She looked again at the Massive drive core, bigger than any that she'd ever seen on the flotilla.

_But I just can't shake the feeling that I could have avoided that whole mess._ She shook her head, grateful that her mask kept the engineers from seeing her conflicting expressions. She tried to refocus on her work, and for a while she succeeded.

Then she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Not nearly loud enough to be Wrex, and much too loud to be Shepard or Bourne. Bourne was almost impossible to hear unless he wanted you to.

She sighed, guessing who it'd be. "Tali, do you have a minute?" She spun around to face Garrus. _I guess I was right._

"I suppose I can spare a few" she sighed. Garrus had tried the hardest of all the crew to get her to accept that it wasn't her fault. She had been intimidated by him at first, due to his history at C-sec. She still got a little nervous around him, but they'd gotten to know each other a little better.

"Relax, I'm not going to try to change your mind again."

"I've told you Garrus, it was my fau- wait, what?"

He chuckled. "From now on, that's Bourne and Shepard's problem. I just wanted to see if you were interested in going with the rest of us on the Citadel later?"

"The Citadel?" She asked confused.

"Bourne, Shepard and I were going to go to…Actually I forgot to ask where. We didn't really have much time to talk before they headed out."

"And just, what? Spend time relaxing?"

"Pretty much. That's sort of the whole point of shore leave."

"I don't know Garrus, I'm kind of busy with this..." she trailed off vaugly. _Just me spending time with them? What would I even do?_

"Tali, I might not be an engineer, but I still know enough about tech to say that you don't have to worry about a Mass Effect core as much when it isn't being used."

Tali looked towards the console, then back at Garrus. "I'll think about it. No promises."

Garrus shook his head. "Alright. Still, hope you do want to come with the rest of us…wait…that expression just went somewhere horrible" Tali just stared at him confused. "Anyway, we'll probably be heading out in just a few hours."

He left the engine room, leaving Tali more unfocused on her work then she'd been before.

**Shepard's POV**

"So, you and T'soni, huh Shepard?" Shepard spun around from her locker in shock, turning to face Bourne. He looked like he was barely keeping from laughing. _So that's why he didn't take the elevator down with Kaiden and Liara._

"What are you talk-"

"Shepard, the only way you two could have been more obvious would have been if you had slipped her some tou-"

"This conversation is over."

Bourne started laughing uncontrollably. "Damn, I gotta get you a mirror. Your face is redder than a Salarian's!" he managed to get out breathlessly between bouts of laughter.

Shepard glanced at the reflective surface of her locker, and saw that he was right. It just made her face turn redder.

"Have you been listening to scuttle butt?"

Bourne got a hold of himself, and straightened back up. He still looked like he was barely keeping his laughter contained. "No, of course not _Raptor._ You two were practically using each other as pillows." He said with a grin.

"Well, Liara and I became very friendly after we brought her on board."

"Yeah, I could see that."

"That isn't what I meant!" her tone ended up halfway between embarrassed and exasperated, though she'd meant it to be annoyed.

"Shepard, are you trying to convince me, or trying to convince yourself?"

She sighed. Bourne could read her like an open book. Or, really, read anyone like an open book. "You aren't going to drop this, are you?"

"Nope."

"Ok, maybe I have some feelings for her. There, are you happy now?"

"Honestly, I'm just amazed I didn't see it sooner." He sounded almost like he was talking to himself.

"Well, you saw it now. No wait, that isn't what I…God damnit."

Bourne just chuckled. "Shepard, I was pretty sure you were into Asari back on the Citadel before you made your crazy ploy to drag me into the Spectres. Every time I brought up Sha'ira, your face looked like you'd been drinking hot sauce." He smirked. "And I saw you checking out a few Asari when you thought nobody was looking." He jumped back right as Shepard tried to slug him, which just mad him grin more

"I was not!"

"What, are you worried people won't respect you if they know?"

Shepard just stared at him open mouthed. _He might be able to read other people, but I can never get a read on him. Half the time he's just a joking buffoon, then the next minute he becomes a totally different person. _"Know what? It's not like I'm necessarily into women, just into Asari"

Bourne just stared at her a moment. "Uh Shepard? Last time I checked, they end up being about the same thing."

"Asari only have the one gender. Hell, when I brought it up when we were talking, she said she wasn't 'exactly a women'. How do-"

"Shepard, Asari have high heels, lipstick," He got that annoying smirk again "and pretty much everything else in between. You know what that sounds like to me? A Woman."

"Look, just try to keep it quiet. It'd cause kind of a scandal if word leaked to the press."

"Got it. Tell everybody I see." He held up a hand to stop Shepard's angry response in her tracks. "Kidding, kidding. I just don't get why you're so— …high-strung about it."

"Well, me being involved with an Asari, and being a Spectre? You heard that reporter, people already think we're kissing the Council's ass. Me and Liara dating…it'd just add fuel to the fire."

"You have a point. Though anybody who thinks I kiss _anybody's_ ass deserves a boot up theirass. And when did I mention dating?" Shepard swore as she realized he was right. "I believe that's called a Freudian slip _Raptor_. Man, I can just imagine the pet names she'll find for -oww!"

He rubbed his arm where Shepard had slugged him.

"Weren't fast enough that time Bourne."

"I let you get that one."

"Uh-huh." She made it obvious that she didn't believe him for a second.

"Look, all I'm saying is that hiding it isn't going to work. Annoying as it is, the press is everywhere. It might just be easier to get it out in the open now, so you're not always trying to keep it a secret. Plus, the fewer reporters I see, the better."

"I- I'll think about it. But for now-"

"Got it. Mum's the word." Shepard stared at him.

"Huh?"

Bourne's face twisted out of the grin. He seemed to be trying to keep his normally veiled expression, and not fully succeeding. "Sorry, old earth term. Those mercs were good fighters, but not really up to date on Human expressions. I ended up with a bunch of culture references that are hundreds of years old."

"You don't really like to talk about your past, do you?" Bourne's face wen to its expressionless look, but his eyes had a trace of panic in them. "I guess I can relate though."

"So, you thought at all about where to take Tali to try to get her out of the dumps?"

"Another old phrase?"

"Damnit, again?"

"What does it even mean?"

"I kinda lost the context, but I mean that she's kind of depressed. Where do you think we should take her?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. Maybe we could ask Garrus. He'd know the Citadel best."

"Good idea, I'll go ask him."

He went over to the Elevator, _little bit faster than he normally walks _ Shepard noted. _Guess he must be embarrassed about slipping with the old phrase._ She just shook her head at his antics, and went back to storing her gear.

**Bourne's POV**

_(That was way too close.)_

_)Did you have to actually say that? It's really creepy when we actually agree on something.(_ I collapsed against the wall of the elevator.

_(when do we actually agree on anything? Most of the time I can't stand to listen to you, or you can't stand to listen to me, and we end up blocking each other out.)_

_)At least I managed to deflect it to the Merc band. Hopefully that will cover up any other slips I might make.(_

_(Perhaps, although it would be preferable to not 'slip up' in the first place.)_

I straightened up, pacing back and forth. I hated talking to Iron, but there were times he had actually been helpful. But still, _)Why do you even care? I thought your whole goal was to get me killed, which'd supposedly warp you back to Eden Prime in this body in the same spot I first ended up there.(_

_(Of course. But,) _ I noticed he didn't sound as sure of himself as usual _(though I'm not completely sure, I believe that I must actually have a hand in you death, or cause it indirectly. Simply allowing you to be put in the nuthouse and die naturally wouldn't work.)_

_)One thing I don't get though, why do you even want to be in my position? You've seen how hard it is for me to hide what I know from everybody. And you'd also have to hide the fact that you're a pyscopath.(_

_(True, but the rewards would be worth the gain. I would be able to choose the structure of the galaxy, and bend it to my will.)_

_)Uh huh. You do remember how often you died during your playthrough? And you were the one you said there are no reloads here.(_

_(Hmph. I would not be as big a fool as you. You literally just stood there and took a punch.)_

_) I could have blocked it Biotically if I wanted to.(_

_(Hmmm. If you say so.)_

I felt his presence retreat to the back of my mind. I was grateful that most of the time I couldn't hear him at all, or it'd be impossible to do anything. In fact, most of the time he couldn't talk to me if I was deliberately blocking him. Not once on the shooting range had he made so much as a peep. _So the focus of combat must help block him out,_ I realized. _Good. I don't have to worry so much about him then. Otherwise I'd have to block him out that whole time to keep him from getting any funny ideas._

The door slid open, and I went to store my gear. I glanced around the room first and saw that neither Wrex or Garrus was around, so I wouldn't be surprised this time. Ashley wasn't there either, much to my regret. I put away my rifles and shotgun, but when I got out my pistol, I looked at it for a second. I decollapsed it, and set it on Ashley's counter.

It took me about 4 seconds to strip it, and remove the Ammo modifier I had moved from my old pistol. I looked over to the Req-officer, who was shuffling crates around. I went over to ask him about getting a new one.

"Just a minute." He said over his shoulder. "I'm in the middle of something."

I shrugged, and leaned against the wall. I had inherited some degree of patience, but there was still a limit. After I'd been waiting for about 5 minutes, I got annoyed. "What are you doing anyway?"

"I'm looking for a specific crate, but it's somewhere in the middle of this stack."

I just glared at him, though his back was turned so he couldn't see it, and activated my Biotics. Normally I'd have warned a guy, but keeping me waiting that long had worn on my nerves. I tore the stack apart, and left the crates hovering in midair.

"What the hell?" He backed away, his hand dropping to his holstered pistol out of instinct.

"Do you see it now?" I asked, annoyed.

He looked at me with shock for a moment, then he started going through the crates, looking for the right one. "Here it is." I lowered that one to the floor, then piled the rest where they'd been before.

"What the hell was so important anyway?"

"I managed to get a titan five sniper rifle for the Commander. Much more powerful than what she has now."

I just glared at him, until he started shifting uncomfortably. "Whatever." I decided it wasn't worth it. "I need to see what ammo modifiers you have for a pistol."

He gestured to the one I was holding now. "I take it you want to get rid of that one as well?"

I almost said yes, then decided against it. "No, I'll give it to someone else on the ground team."

"Suit yourself. I'm guessing you don't just want a better version of that one?"

"I want something that does a lot of damage, and does it fast. I want to have more punch for each shot."

"Ok, give me a second." He ducked down, going through a crate. "Here, this ought to work"

I was surprised to realize I knew what type it was. "Explosive rounds?"

"They'll increase the damage you do by almost half. Drawback is that your weapon will be able to get off fewer shots before it over heats."

I considered it a moment. "How much?"

"It'll heat it up faster by_

"I **meant how much is it?**" _I thought doing this was annoying in the game._

"Well if you're sure, it'll cost 5000 creds."

I saw that I had just enough to buy it, and transferred the money. He handed it to me, then went back to what he'd been doing before. I just sighed, then went over and installed it. I put the pistol back together then set it back down on the table. I put my armor away, and grabbed my pistol. I holstered it, and went to find the others.

**Back to Tali. (Told you there were a lot of viewpoints this chapter.)**

Tali jumped as Bourne said her name her get her attention. 

"Yes?" She said, trying to ignore the embarrassing reaction Bourne had gotten from her. She spun around to face him. His face was hard to read, even for a human, but he seemed amused.

"Garrus ask you about going somewhere on the Citadel?"

"Yes, he did. I told him I was unsure, then he got embarrassed and left."

_Ok, even I can tell he's confused. _He raised his eyebrows in shock, and his mouth twisted into what looked like a reverse smile. _What's it called? A crown? No wait, fown? Bosh'tet, that's not it either._

"Why would he get embarrassed?"

"He said something about hoping I'd come with the rest of you, then said that the expression had gone the wrong way?"

He chuckled. "Of course he did."

Tali stared at him, then shrugged. "I didn't really get it."

"I'll explain some other time. Anyway, are you interested in tagging along? Probably be less eventful than last time."

Tali's face twisted inside the Helmet, and she looked away.

He slapped himself in the face. "Ok, I'm an idiot for bringing that up." He sighed and removed his hand. "You do realize that I don't blame you at all?"

"I know. But I do."

"Well, it might have been just a little bit your fault when you opened the gate on me, " he chuckled, "but I don't know how you figure that the whole place collapsing is your fault. I'm the moron who thought'd be a good idea in the first place."

Tali glanced at him, then turned to her console. "I don't know… I'd like to see the Citadel, but last time I was there, everybody treated me like a thief. C-sec held me for hours before they let me wander freely. It took me almost half an hour just to allow me to keep my guns!"

He kept his face even, but his body language told Tali that he was clearly angry about it. Being around people she'd never seen the faces of, body language was much easier for her to read. It was only a little more difficult to read alien body language.

"Huh, no wonder Garrus left." He muttered. He raised his voice slightly, and said "But that's not going to happen this time."

"People always think I'm a thief just because I'm a quar-"

"Tali, you're going to be with a pair of Spectres. More specifically, the only two human Spectres. And depending on how many other people come along, with up to four people who are highly trained killers. I doubt anybody will even notice what race you are….And I just now realized how the part about highly trained killers sounded when I said it out loud." Tali fought back a shudder. _He's right about that. Wrex is just intimidating. When he looks at you, he seems to be also looking for the best way to kill you. Though, with him, that might actually be true._

"I appreciate the offer Bourne, but I'm needed here."

He- it wasn't a smile, but it was close. "Oh really?" _I get the feeling I'm not going to love what he's going to do next._

He turned to the head engineer. "Say Adams, you think you spare Tali for a bit?"

He glanced over at Bourne and said "Yeah, I think we can manage. This core doesn't require nearly as much maintenance when the ship isn't moving."

Bourne turned back to face her "What were you saying?"

_But I just told him a few seconds ago, how could he have forgotten? Unless he means that Engineer Adams just said I was wrong. Keelah, of course that's what he means! "_I suppose I'll come along then" _I can't disobey a direct order._

Bourne seemed to catch what little expression could be seen through her helmet. "Tali, if you really don't want to come, than you can stay here. I'm not going to order you along, It's your choice."

_My choice? _"But which one would benefit the ship more?"

He slapped his face again. _Doesn't that hurt? _Tali wondered. He took a deep breath and took his hand away from his face. "Tali, it's not about which is better for the ship- heck, it's shore leave, so you're supposed to not worry about it unless you're on duty. It's whatever you'd rather do."

"But I'm duty right now." _I might actually want to go now, but still…_

"Not anymore. Your shore leave started as of right now. So if you want to spend time on the Citadel with the rest of us, you're more than welcome too. Or, you can spend your time on doing the same thing you've been doing for over a week instead of doing something you won't even have the chance to do for probably twice as long." He shrugged and turned back towards the door. "Your choice," He said as he walked out. Tali hesitated, then followed him. She could tell he wasn't even surprised a little bit. He only stopped long enough to see if anybody else was on this level, while Tali grabbed her Shotgun and Pistol and stored them on her suit. She decided against grabbing most of her armor, but she did grab a small shield generator and plug it into her suit.

The two of them piled into the Elevator. Tali squeezed herself into the corner out of habit, as room was scare on the Rayya. Bourne leaned against the wall, his arms crossed.

"So, how did your meeting with the politician go?" Tali asked, uncomfortable with the silence yet unable to think of something else to say.

Bourne chuckled. "Well, first an Alliance Admiral stopped us on our way there to make an unneeded inspection of the ship-"

"That was an Admiral? Bosh'tet, I wish I'd known so I could have greeted him properly"

"Tali, Admirals are important in the Alliance too, but it's not like he was on the Admiralty board. And to be honest, he wasn't happy to see non-humans in the crew."

"I noticed. Wrex didn't seem to like him either. The Admiral tried talking to him about why he was here, and Wrex eventually got mad and told him that he'd kill him if he kept- pestering him I think?- which made the Admiral leave in a hurry."

"He threatened to kill him?"

"Well, actually he threatened to bite his head off."

"Of course he did."

The elevator doors slid open, and Bourne nearly walked right into the Krogan in question.

"There you are. Shepard sent me down here to find you"

_This is probably the first time I've seen Bourne be surprised like that._ His hand was hovering near his holstered pistol. He moved his hand away somewhat reluctantly.

Wrex had obviously noticed. "Bourne, be realistic. Do you really think you could kill me with a hand gun?"

Bourne shrugged. "Well, I just upgraded it, but I haven't had a chance to test it out yet."

"What sort of upgrade?"

"Explosive rounds." _Explosive rounds? If the Migrant fleet marines had those, we'd have much less of a pirate theat._

"Hpph. Powerful, but you can't get that many shots off before it'll overheat." _Then again, maybe not_

Bourne moved past him out of the Elevator, Wrex turning to face him. "You're going out with just that, and not even with a shield generator?"

"I'm trying to avoid a fight this time. Besides, if worse comes to worse, I know how to make a Biotic Barrier."

"Hah! A few good shots bring it down in seconds."

Bourne turned to face him, Biotically sending his gun into his hand. He fired straight at Wrex, surprising him and taking down his shields in two shots. Wrex staggered back, then his face twisted in anger. Tali had been thinking about trying to squeeze past like Bourne had, but that seemed like a much worse idea now.

Bourne smiled and lowered his gun. "The same could be said of your shields."

Wrex stared a moment, then rumbled. Or as Tali realized a moment later, chuckling. "Good point. Though next time you think about shooting me, think again. Doing something like that makes you a fool. Though I'll admit, a fool with one hell of a quad."

Bourne sent his Pistol back to its holster Biotically. "But who's the bigger fool? The Fool, or the Fool who follows him?"

Wrex rumbled again. "Well said. You're pretty smart- for a human." He seemed to be joking about the last part, but Tali wasn't sure. She risked squeezing past him. Wrex glanced at her, but his full attention was on Bourne.

"Actually, I stole it from a vid I saw once. But thanks." Bourne said with a grin. "Come on, like you said, Shepard's waiting for us." He started heading upstairs, followed by the other two. "Plus, I should probably let her know that I wasn't actually killing somebody. Huh, maybe I should have thought that out a little further."

**That's going to do it for this Chapter. And if you were annoyed about the lack of fighting, I'll make it up to you next chapter. **

**How did you think I did at portraying Tali? I want to do some more from her POV, for reasons that'll become clear later on. But if anyone has some advice on how to improve, I'd appreciate it. **

**Until next time, I hope you've enjoyed this doubly long chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction"**

**Please review if you haven't already, even if it's just to tell me that I need to update more. Though just to give fair warning, I'm probably only going to be able to update on weekends for the next while. But luckily, I still have two more days I can spend writing. And believe me, I do want to get this monster done. My goal is to have both this and the Sequel done by the time ME3 comes out. I'm rambling now so I'm just going to shut up.**

**Until next time, sayonara.**


	26. Guilt and Memories

**Ok, like I said last chapter, not sure how I'm doing for Tali. Advice on that would be appreciated. **

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Tali would be- actually pretty much the same. She's a cool character. But you'd have seen her face by now if I was in charge. Come on Bioware (who actually does own it), show it in ME3! If nothing else than to keep people from writing fan fics about it that'll be way wrong.**

**So, just for the record, I'm not going to do that. In this series anyway.**

Tali made sure to keep a little bit of distance between her and the other two. _Shepard probably heard that gunshot and thinks there's an enemy on board. _She doubted Shepard would shoot before realizing who it was, but she didn't want to take the chance. Bourne could use his Biotics to defend himself, and there was no way that they'd be able to do much to Wrex before they realized their mistake. Krogan regenerative abilities were the stuff of legends.

Bourne walked up to the door, and it slid open to reveal Ashley pointing a pistol right at his face. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she lowered the gun.

Bourne, to his credit, didn't even look nervous. "Ok, now I know to never forget your birthday if that's the reception I'll have waiting for me." _What? _

"Sorry about, we thought we heard a gunshot. Didn't want to take the risk."

"Good thing I was the one who walked out, or Wrex would've gotten a load of lead right to the face." Ash moved out of the way and let him by, holstering her gun. Wrex she seemed to hesitate about letting by for a moment, but he was past her already. She glared a bit at his retreating back, but she smiled when she saw Tali.

"So Bourne convinced you to tag along?" She asked.

"Yes, though I'm still not sure how he managed to."

"I can be very convincing when I want to be Miss Williams." Ashley spun around, and Tali almost jumped like she had before.

"Seriously Jason, how the hell do you do that?" Ashley asked, sounding exasperated. _And maybe a little impressed. That would be useful to be able to do on the flotilla to make it seem less crowded. _

"Just second nature I guess. Built in."

Ashley just stared at him, then shook her head. "I'm going to have to watch myself around you."

"Scared Miss Williams?" He asked with a smile. _Maybe that isn't quite a smile though._

"You bet your ass I'm not." She scoffed.

"Are you ladies coming?" Wrex shouted back over a shoulder. Bourne shot him a look that Tali was pretty sure wasn't for polite company.

"Yeah Yeah, Urdnot, keep your hump on." He shouted back. "Come on, let's not just stand around here all day."

He followed him down the corridor, but Tali went a little bit slower. Even the monitors on the ship were more advanced than anything on the flotilla, and the whole ship had a very advanced look to it. Tali still couldn't believe her luck ending up on the ship. She realized she'd fallen behind and rushed to catch up.

"Don't worry Joker" Bourne laughed. "I'll bring you back a beer."

"Just as long as it isn't ryncol. That stuff hits harder than my ex-wife." He replied over his shoulder.

"What ex-wife?"

"The one that only existed to make that funny."

Bourne just laughed. "You are incorrigible."

"Uh, Bourne, let's not use the big words here. I'm a pilot, not a doctor."

"I really don't understand what humans say half the time" Tali muttered to herself as Bourne burst out laughing at the Pilot's comment. _It wasn't really that funny. Or maybe it's just some human thing_

Bourne went into the airlock, followed by Tali. _Ashley must've already gone through._

Shepard was waiting for them on the other side. "Bourne, could you please explain why I heard gunshots on the ship?"

"Long story short: Wrex gave me a lecture about how going out with no shield generator was stupid, then said he could take out any Biotic Barrier I could put up in just a few shots. So I fired a couple of shots to take down his shields."

Shepard just stared at him. Garrus broke the silence. "Can you run that by me one more time?"

"Me. Shoot. At. Wrex. Because. He. Pissed. Me. Off."

"Why are you talking like that Bourne?" Tali asked. Bourne smiled, and seemed to be fighting back laughter.

"It's to make Garrus feel dumb. It's meant to be a joke, but apparently humor doesn't actually translate between species."

"No, humor does. Which is why that didn't" Garrus replied. _Huh? Oh, he's saying it wasn't funny._

"You shot at Wrex?" Shepard finally asked, disbelieving.

"Relax Shepard. Do I look dead to you?" Wrex rumbled.

"I don't know Wrex. It's hard to tell with Krogan. Rotting a few days'd probably improve your looks."

Wrex looked at Bourne, and he seemed ready to charge him. Bourne stared back, his eyes glowing, which Tali had learned meant that he was using his Biotics, or ready to unleash them.

"Bourne, your mouth is going to be the death of you." Wrex said, relaxing. Well, not really relaxing quite so much as deciding he didn't want to kill Bourne right at that moment.

"So, did we ever decide where we were going?" Bourne asked as his eyes faded back to normal. _Hmm, i never noticed before, his eyes glow the same way a Quarian's does through the helmet. I wonder if there's any relation?_

"I was thinking Flux." Garrus put in.

"Better than Chora's den" Bourne put in. "Considering we shot it up about…week and a half ago?"

"Works for me." Ashley put in.

Tali noticed Dr. T'soni was standing off the side. She seemed out of place with as Bourne had put it, "4 highly trained killers." _But then again, so am I._

"What about you Tali?" Bourne and Shepard asked at the same time.

"Oh, um, yes, I suppose that'd be fun"

"Then let's get in there before the ryncol runs out." Wrex put in.

They headed over to the elevator, which ended up a bit more crowded than usual. Luckily, Tali was able to squeeze into a corner and not get the worst of it. _Although conditions are still even more crowded on the Rayya._

The ride passed in silence for the most part. Bourne seemed unfocussed, like he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings.

They got to C-sec academy, and then Shepard's Omni-Tool beeped, signaling an incoming call.

**Bourne Pov**

_(I still think we can agree at least that far.)_

_)No, we can't. Last time I checked, I'm in control of this body, and you're only along for the ride.( _ I leaned against the elevator wall, my focus turned inward. I could see that Tali had noticed, but she was the only one. I was hoping that she'd think it was some human thing.

_(You shot a Krogan. More specifically, a Krogan who could Biotically-)_

_)Biotic blah blah blah. I knew exactly what I was doing.(_

_(You were letting your anger get the best of you, because you were pissed off I was insulting the admiral some more.)_

_)Then maybe you should think twice next time you try pissing me off.(_

_(Why would I care?)_

_)We both know exactly why(_

_(I suppose. You are right, I don't want you dying by any hand but my own. You can trust me at least that far.)_

_)I trust you about as far as Tali could Biotically throw you. And last time I checked, she's not a Biotic(_

_( You need all the help you can get. )_

_)I won't be chained to you! I saw, controlled, whatever, exactly how your serpent's tongue could convince people. It's not going to work on me.(_

_(You are letting your own hatred of me blind you-(_

_)ENOUGH!( _I screamed in my head, though my outward expression remained unchanged.

He was cowed slightly, but only for a moment. _(So be it. If you do not heed my advice, then on your head be it.)_

Iron withdrew like a snake to the deepest recesses of my mind. I could feel the hatred of me simmering off of him.

The elevator door slid open, and our very mis-matched group piled out. I had been relieved to see the Kaiden had decided not to come, thanks to his migranes. The last thing I wanted was to have to fake normal conversation with him. I had managed to avoid him for the most part, but there had been a few times it had been unavoidable. He seemed like someone I might have liked as a friend under other circumstances, but it was already hard enough to do what I'd have to. Killing Kaiden was bearable, acceptable. Killing a friend- not so much.

I forced myself to stop dwelling on it; this was supposed to be a relaxing night out. Well, as relaxing as it could ever be surrounded by creatures that were mere fantasy where I was from. Despite the obvious downsides, I figured it was still more fun than just hanging around on the Normandy.

It seemed one of the rules for Zombieland also applied here. "Enjoy the little things." It seemed that way, until Shepard's Omni-tool beeped to signify an incoming message_. I really should have known better than that by now. _

Shepard looked at me, then at the rest of the group. "You guys go on ahead. Bourne and I will catch up."

Liara seemed to notice her unease as well as I did. "Is something wrong Ra-Shepard?"

"No, I doubt it. But Alliance channels aren't something I should just ignore."

Liara looked unsure, but she followed the rest of the group to the rapid transit terminal. Normally I'd have been more worried about Wrex, but I figured that between Garrus and Ashley, he'd be fine until we got there. And I was more concerned at the moment with Shepard's call.

Shepard motioned me over to a wall, away from prying ears. I followed casually.

She answered the call.

"Commander Shepard? Sorry to bother you, This is Lt. Girand down in the docking bay."

Normally I'd have made some joke about it actually being 'up', but I wasn't really in the mood to laugh under the circumstances.

I didn't really listen to what he and Shepard said, but I caught the gist of it. A woman who'd been taken by Batarian slavers in the raid that left Shepard an orphan was in the docking bay, and she'd somehow gotten a hold of a gun. And she was possibly suicidal. The Lt. was hoping Shepard would be able to talk her down. I knew exactly what could happen, such as the fact that she'd shoot herself if Shepard got to close, and what had happened to her already. It made me sick just to think about it.

"I'm not really trained for this sort of thing, but I'll see what I can do." Shepard replied, ending the call.

She turned to me. "Please tell me you were actually listening."

"I heard. " I said impatiently. I hated to be rude, but I knew that this would be very delicate.

_(and you aren't exactly good at being tactful)_ Iron hissed scornfully before slithering back to his hiding spot.

I ignored Iron. I was more worried about the Shepard that wasn't a psychopath. She led the way over to the elevators, and I felt a cold fist gripping my gut.

The doors slid open, and Shepard walked out with false bravado. It didn't take a genius to tell she wasn't looking forward to facing memories like this.

"Commander Shepard, glad to see you." One of them responded, saluting.

Shepard returned the salute. "Where is she?"

"Behind those Shipping containers. I have a sniper positioned, but I don't think we'll need him. She's only a danger to herself."

I glared at him. "She's been through enough. The last thing she needs is a bullet sent through her skull."

"I agree, but she may not. That gun isn't for other people, it's for herself. I have a sedative to calm her down, but none of us can get much closer than this. She gets more wound up the closer we go."

"Give it to me. If I can convince her, I'll need it." Shepard said, reaching out to take the pill.

"Bourne, you stay here. I need you to-"

"Shepard, if you think I'm-"

"Bourne-"

"Look, I have plenty of confidence in you and all that, but there's no real guarantee that you'll be able to talk her down." _Not completely the truth, but not a lie either. I might have not given her enough charm to pull it off. I fucked it up my first time, and there won't be a second chance here. _"If that happens, I can restrain her with my Biotics while you-"

"No."

"Look, I don't want it to come to that either, but-"

"It's not going to come to that. Once I give her the sedative, the Lt. here can take her to a place she can be helped."

"I wish I could believe it'll be that easy." I sighed. "Alright, Shepard I'll follow your lead on this." _But if I think you're not convincing her, I'm going to be there before you even know it._

"Good." She went over to talk to her. The guards watched her, though I wasn't sure that they weren't just checking her out. Either way, she distracted them long enough to for me to steal an injector of the stuff from out of the Lt.'s belt. With my now built in stealth, he didn't even know I was there. He kept his focus on where Shepard was talking to the girl. I managed to drown it out, and for the first time I thanked Iron for being so annoying as to give me practice so often. What little did trickle through sent shivers down my spine, and rivers of anger and rage flowing through me.

I was good at being quiet, but I'd never be able to get close without being spotted. Then I thought of a way. I paced from the side nearest the Normandy, to the side farthest away. The guards didn't even notice. I paced back and forth several more times to make sure. The next time, I stayed on the far side.

I threw myself over the edge of the platform, hanging on to the edge with some help from my Biotics. I slid my way over to where Shepard was talking to her. _I really hope I don't actually have to do this. But with my luck, I probably will. _

I turned myself into a tightly coiled spring, ready to move at a moment's notice.

**Shepard POV. I really hate to spoil the mood here, but this whole part is a bit graphic. If you have a sensitive stomach, you might just want to down to where you see Bold text next. That's the end of the 'scary part'.**

Shepard fought back bitter memories as she walked towards the girl. She tried to be fair, and not judge by race, but even now she felt her battlefield instincts kick into place every time she saw a batarian.

She rounded the corner, slowly, making sure that she could see the girl, and the girl could see her.

The girl raised her gun, but Shepard could see that some part of her didn't want to pull the trigger.

"Stop! Stop! What are you?" her eyes were wide with fear. Shepard held her hands up, trying to put her at ease.

"My name is Commander Shepard. The Lt. sent me to talk to you. What's your name?"

She shook her head. "Animals don't get names. The masters burn their symbols into her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it."

"I don't want to know what they called you. You aren't an animal. What did your parents call you? Try to remember."

Her voice became a hoarse whisper, filled with pain. "She remembers a lot of things. " she lowered the gun. "Talitha. They called her that. She doesn't remember the rest."

Shepard longed to reach out and comfort her, but she knew that it would only upset her. She had no idea how to get closer to her. She decided to try to get her to remember happier times. "Think back Talitha. What else do you remember about your parents?"

"There's- She sees them . They're yelling! Run! Hide! They beat at the masters, but the masters have lights and hoses." She held her hands to her face, sobbing. "Daddy's- he's melting!" She started hitting her head. "Stupid! Stupid! She doesn't want to look! She doesn't want to see that!"

Shepard hated herself for it, but she knew that trying to forget the past would never work. You had to work through it. _God forgive me for doing this._ "I know it hurts Talitha, and I'm sorry. But you have to deal with this, or you'll never get better. What happened to them? Think." She was careful to keep her tone kind, but firm.

"When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn't think anymore." Talitha looked away. "She sees them. The masters burning them. Burning them in bright light. They can't even talk to her."

She covered her face with her hands. "They're dead Shepard. They tried to save her, and the Masters burn them."

Shepard felt like her heart was being wrenched out of her chest. She realized though that talitha had actually used her name though, which was probably a good sign.

"Can she stop remembering now? Please?"

Shepard risked a step towards her, and she didn't react. She decided to wait on trying to get closer though. "What about how you got here? Did you get away?"

"She can't escape. The masters have chains. They have needles, wires. If she goes too far they'll take her brain away." She looked to the side, remembering. "Animals like her come, Animals with guns. The masters explode because of them. She tries to fix the masters, so they won't be mad at her. She puts the reds and purples back in, but they don't move. The other animals take her. "

It took every bit of Shepard's will power keep from vomiting. She thought she'd seen the worst things that could happen to people when the Threser-Maws attacked on Akuze. But that was nothing in comparison to this.

Shepard focused on trying to help her. "You were afraid. All you'd known for 13 years was abuse. So you tried to heal them."

Talitha didn't even seem to hear her words. "She doesn't want to see the other animals. They aren't real. She doesn't want this to be real! She just wants this to be over! Why do you get to be normal while she's only an Animal? Only fit to serve? Why aren't you broken like she is?"

Shepard closed her eyes. "For a long time, I was broken Talitha. I had lost everything. I lost my friends, my family, everyone I cared about. I had to pull myself together to stay strong."

"She isn't strong. You can stand up. She wishes she could stand up"

Shepard risked another step towards her. It was a mistake.

"She doesn't want to be like you! She can't be like you! All she wants is for this to be over!" She raised the gun to her head, and even as Shepard rushed forward, she knew it was too late.

Then, a blue ball of fire launched over the side of the platform, and as it landed, Talitha's gun flew out of her hand. Shepard only barely had time to register that it was Bourne before he grabbed Talitha, bringing her close. He jabbed an arm towards her side, and Shepard saw a flash of metal. For a wild moment, she thought Bourne was using a knife

"No! She doesn't want the needles! She doesn't want to go back!" Talilitha screamed.

Bourne pulled back, drawing out a syringe. "I'm sorry. It's for your own good. You need help. You're going to fall asleep, and when you wake up, you'll be in a place that they can help you." He dropped the syringe.

"She doesn't like needles! Wires! The masters made her sleep a lot."

Shepard had hardly ever seen Bourne show any sort of emotion when he wasn't making jokes. But he cringed at her words.

"It hurts when she- when I… remember …me. But she wants to remember." Shepard rushed forward to catch her as she fell, the sedatives taking effect. She lowered to the ground, then turned to face Bourne. Her eyes felt like they were blazing even brighter than Bourne's ever had.

"Why the hell did you do that?" she asked coldly.

Bourne didn't answer immediately. He looked at Talitha's unconscious form, then at the gun he'd knocked out of her hand, a few feet away. "Because it was better than the alternative." He sighed.

"How? By scarring her further?"

Shepard had seen Bourne angry before, like when he had threatened the reporter. That hate was cold as ice. But his Anger now burned like fire. "How? By letting her splatter her brains across the bulk head?"

Shepard felt her own anger rise. "If you had just knocked the gun away from her, that'd be one thing. I was going to offer her the sedative, but you forced it on her against her will."

"And what would you have done if she hadn't taken it when you offered it? Would you have just stood by and let her pull the trigger?"

Shepard felt her anger surge for a moment, but she knew that on some level, Bourne was right. "Maybe you're right. But there were still other ways!"

"Shepard, if there had been any other way, you can bet your ass I'd have taken it! As it was, if I hadn't done that, she'd be dead." He turned and walked away a few steps, then turned and walked back. His anger seemed to fade. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I will never forgive myself for some things. This is going on the list now. But I'd have forgiven myself even less if I'd have just stood by."

He shook his head regretfully, then locked eyes with Shepard. He continued in the same low, regretfull tone. "I was made for a purpose. I don't know what it was, but I know what I've made it. To help as many people as I can."

"Did you really help her?"

"I don't know. But I do know this. I'm no hero Shepard."

Shepard felt her anger fade against her will. "What are you talking about?"

"Shepard, you're an inspiration to millions of humans. Children aspire to be like you, Marines wish they were half as good as you. You were made a Spectre because you were the best." He turned away, his back to her. He lowered his head. "You want to know what I am? I'm just some guy who had a weird string of luck, with powers he never asked for, responsibilities he never wanted. I only am here, because of mere chance." His words were hardened, separate. Shepard knew that she was seeing as he truly was for the first time, the first time he had lowered his defenses completely.

"You always manage to do the right thing." He turned back to face her. "But I'm not like you Shepard. I'm no hero. If I had to be a villain to save a life, I'd do it. I wouldn't like it, but I'd do it. I'd look for other options first, but I'd still do it. That's the difference between us."

He looked at the gun lying on the ground again, and pulled it to him Biotically. He tossed it over the edge of the platform.

Shepard put a hand on his Shoulder. "Bourne-"

"Don't even try to comfort me Shepard. I know exactly what I am, and no force in the universe will change it." His words were bitter, and he said them like unchallengeable fact.

"Jason, do you think that anybody else could have done what you have?" Shepard hadn't used his first name before, but it seem appropriate in this case.

"Like what? Winding up a Spectre by Accident? Letting my anger get the best of me at every turn? Letting an innocent girl take credit for my mistake? Knocking out a girl that was enslaved for thirteen years?"

"You did it to save her life."

"Yeah, I'm sure that'll help me at the pearly gates" Bourne said with scorn.

"Bourne, if they didn't let you in, I'd refuse to go in. I would rather rot myself then see that happen."

"And I wouldn't let you."

"That already says something of your character. You're willing to do things that you don't want to do, and take credit for your mistakes. Few people could do as much."

"I wish I could believe that Shepard. I wish I could."

Shepard patted his Shoulder. "Come on, let's get out of here. You look like you could use that drink."

"Somehow, I thought you'd a lot more pissed off."

"I am. But I still think you did the right thing." She pulled him down the down the platform, and he followed. He still seemed wrapped in self-pity, but Shepard knew that he wouldn't want her encouragement.

She stopped long enough to talk to the guards. "Can you take it from here?"

"What happened? I didn't see."

"We managed to get her sedated. Take care of her, she's been through a lot."

"I know. When I see her curled into a ball in the corner…What are we doing out here if we can't even protect one little girl?"

Bourne spoke up. "Bad things happen to people who don't deserve it. Sometimes it's just because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. All you can do is keep fighting and hope that the good you do outweighs the bad."

"True enough." He said, shooting Shepard a look of confusion, not recognizing Bourne. "Thank you again for your help." He walked towards Talitha's unconscious form, radioing for his men to come and help him move Talitha.

They went back down the elevator, and called for a rapid transit taxi. Bourne stayed silent the rest of the way to Flux, lost in his own thoughts. Not false Boredom, or having all his focus turned inward, but contemplating, remembering. Shepard was still mad, but more at his actions then at him. _He did the best he could. It's not what I'd have done, but it's that ability to take action when necessary, regardless of orders, that made me choose him as my second in command. _She didn't say this out loud though, knowing that he wouldn't want to hear it.

**Ok, it's safe to look again now.**

They arrived at Flux, and Shepard saw the rest of the group sitting in a corner. Bourne's face was still darkened, but it did brighten when Ashley saw them and waved them over. Bourne took a seat between Tali and Ashley, while Shepard sat down next to Liara and Wrex.

"Was there trouble after all?" Liara asked Shepard in a whisper.

"I'll tell you later." She whispered back. She looked into the Asari's eyes, and her mood lifted considerably. She remembered the first time they'd talked, and how their friendship had changed to romance in the space of a few days. Bourne had said he was amazed that he hadn't realized it sooner, and Shepard couldn't help but agree. She had snuck past him in the hospital every time he had been asleep to see her friend. _Or, as Bourne would probably be way too quick to point out, girlfriend._ Shepard wanted to lean over and kiss her right then and there, but with Bourne watching that wasn't going to happen; to say nothing of the dozens of other people nearby. More than a few had recognized Shepard.

"You ok Jason?" Ashley asked him.

"I'm fine." _Yeah, he's lying. _"You guys ordered anything yet?"

"We already ordered drinks, but no- Oh, here's the waitress now."

She place the drinks on the table. "And what can I get started for you madam?"

"I'll have a glass of wine, but I'd like to see the menu first."

"And you sir?"

"Get me a glass of the strongest non-dextro drink you have that isn't ryncol." He slumped back in his chair. "And make it a double."

She went to get them their menus and drinks.

"Long day Jason?" Ashley said to Bourne.

"You have no Idea Ash."

**Ok, I know it seems impossible that this is only half the chapter I promised, considering the length, but if I don't divide it, this'll be the longest chapter yet by far.**

**Part 2 next chapter.**

**One thing I'd like oppions on, (besides tips on writing for Tali's POV) do you think that I should change the Genres or the rating? I don't know that they really fit it anymore, but I could use a second oppion. **

**I hope you're enjoying "Stuck in a World of Fiction." Again, if you haven't, please review. Half of what keeps me going is opening my email to see that people are commenting and giving me tips. Even if it's just to say I'm a moron for writing this, it's still nice to see people taking interest. Ok, maybe I was lying a little bit just then, but you get the idea. **

**Until next time, sayonara.**


	27. This Guy Picked the Wrong Day

**Ok, continued from last chapter. I had been planning something else, but since I had to cut this chapter in half, it's waiting till next weekend.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, you'd be able to get a certain Quarian before the game was half over in ME2. Seriously, why didn't Bioware make it so you got "Okeer" later on, and replace that level with Haestrom? But sorry, that's not happening in the sequel. Even though it'd be better. **

**Ok, enough about the future, maybe I better stick to the present here.**

* * *

><p>I smiled when Ashley waved us over, but my mood remained too dark even for Iron to dare to try talking to me. I sat next to her and Tali, while Shepard took the seat between Liara and Wrex. Garrus was across from me, noticeably keeping Tali, Ashley and I between Wrex and himself. Same went with Liara and Shepard on the other side. <em>I wonder if he did that himself, or Wrex did it so he wouldn't have to be near Garrus. Wrex can't be all that thrilled about having to hang out with a Turian.<em>

I noticed Liara whispering into Shepard's ear, but their words eluded me. The smile unconsciously plastered on their faces as they looked at each other didn't though. Shepard seemed to notice how many of people were watching her, and she reluctantly drew away from her new girlfriend. _Man, I am just way too quick to point that out. _

"You ok Jason?"

"I'm fine." I had never told a greater lie in my life. At the moment, it seemed like the presence of the other 6 at the table were all that were keeping me from sinking into the floor with the weight of despair. "You guys ordered anything yet?" I was too guilty to feel hungry, but I wanted a drink to help clear my head. Which was sort of counterintuitive, but I just wanted to forget for five minutes the equally deliberating choices I would have to make. Knocking out that tortured girl had been bad enough.

I had practically poured my soul out to Shepard. On some level, it felt almost relieving to accept who I was, what I was. And Shepard hadn't turned away. I felt like laughing, and yet I wanted to get drunk and cry out my sorrow. It was like the same feeling of two opposites both working on me at once that had first propelled me here.

"We already ordered drinks, but no- Oh, here's the waitress now." I was brought out of my self-pity, if only for a moment, by the arrival of the waitress. She had a mask of false emotion. I recognized it well, considering how many times I had had to use one myself. It took me only a moment to realize it was the waitress whose sister had agreed to work as an informant for C-sec.

She gave the others their drinks. Ryncol, unsurprisingly, for Wrex, a beer for Ashley, and some sort of Asari liquor for Liara. I didn't know what Garrus had in his glass, unsurprising since it was completely inedible to me and it didn't exist in the world I had come from. All I could say about it was "It's green." I couldn't even see what Tali had, or even tell if it was actually alcohol or not. The pouch she hooked up to her mask was covered in some sort of foil or something.

It struck me how little I knew about this place, despite how much I did know. I couldn't even tell what a simple piece of material was!

"And you sir?" the waitress asked me. I felt a surge of emotion as I looked at the hidden pain in her eyes. Perhaps it was because I knew what she was going through, but her secret seemed bared open to me like a book.

I promised myself I'd help her tomorrow, but tonight I just wanted to forget what I'd have to do. "Get me a glass of the strongest non-dextro drink you have that isn't ryncol." I slumped further back in my chair, my head leaning over the rim. "And make it a double." I knew I couldn't have much more than that. I wanted to clear my head, not end up so drunk I would be unable to control myself. _Blurting out the fact that Kaiden is going to die would probably be a bad idea._

"Long day Jason?"

"You have no Idea Ash." It was true. _She may be my…..something…..but even she can't know just how deep in guilt I am. I almost wish I could just tell them everything I know. _I thought about them each in turn.

Liara. Destined to become an information broker after helping Cerberus reclaim Shepard's body. Later, to become the Shadow Broker, only to again give it up for Shepard.

Wrex. Destined to become a great leader and bring the Krogan together, or to die fighting for what he believed was right. _Better remember to get him his Armor _I thought with morbid humor.

I looked at Tali, and at Garrus sitting next to her. Garrus. Destined to become Archangel. Destined to have his face forevermore scarred, and maybe to die in battle against the Collectors. I felt another twinge of guilt as I thought of this. I put it aside until it was deserved, far in the future.

Tali I felt the same about. Her father, destined to die. Her, her fate to be decided by Shepard actions, both in her trial, and rather she lived to make it back the other side of the Omega 4 relay.

I forced myself not to dwell on Shepard or Ashley. I just sighed, and waited for my drink. Dwelling on it wouldn't help, but neither would ignoring the choices before me.

I glanced at Shepard, feeling a sense of connection. She and I were the only two there that were more than mere puppets to the whims of the universe. Or perhaps we were both still Puppets, and I was simply a puppet able to see the Strings. I couldn't say for certain anymore.

I had wanted to enjoy myself tonight, but it seemed like I'd have to settle for not feeling completely miserable. I kept myself out of the conversation, not really paying attention to it. I could always pick up later when I had a better grip on myself. It was interesting, but not enough to cheer me up.

The waitress brought Shepard and me our drinks, and my skull buzzed as I took a sip of mine. D_amn, that's even stronger than I thought. _I did feel a little better though. I could unfocus myself more than before, though not to the point that I could lose control. My guilt faded to a bearable level as I took another sip, and I picked up the datapad that was the menu. Part of me didn't really want to eat, but even with my inexplicable lack of the normally high Biotic metabolism, I knew I needed it. Besides, all I'd had for the last several days was hospital food and I was actually curious to see what foods had made it out here. Or for that matter, what had survived the last few hundred years. I was intrigued though at the Idea of trying a Varren steak.

"I SAID GET ME A DRINK!" My focus turned to the voice of the customer that had shouted, setting my menu back on the table. The very- accent I guess, or maybe inflection- made my skin craw for reasons I couldn't place. Then I placed the voice to the person. It was a Batarian in the armor of the Blue Suns. I had always hated it in the games when people were judged because of what race they were, but in this case I thought a certain amount of profiling was appropriate. _Especially after being reminded what some are willing to do to children like Talitha._

I wasn't the only one that could tell how dangerous he was. "I'm sorry sir. There's been a slight delay in the kitchens today." The waitress's words- not the I'd seen earlier, though she was also a Human- were filled with fear.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO WANTS EXCUSES!" He shouted in her face, not a question. Before she could reply, he knocked her to the floor with a single slap.

Maybe it was to help me drown out my own guilt. Maybe because of what had occurred with Talitha. I didn't know, but I knew that this sorry Bastard had picked the wrong time and the wrong place. _That was a mistake you foureyedpieceoftrash._

* * *

><p><strong>Tali POV.<strong>

Tali had noticed that Bourne seemed in a dark mood from the second he'd walked in the door. Shepard was as well, but much less. Bourne's request for such a strong drink confirmed it in Tali's mind. He didn't seem like he'd normally want to cloud his mind with alcohol. Tali had had such a lesson drilled into her by her father, which was why she was only drinking some filtered water. She knew that most people equated drinking with a night out like this, and having fun, but she couldn't do that herself.

Drinking couldn't really do anything to help the Migrant Fleet, and it drained resources to buy or make alcohol.

The conversation had been a bit forced at first, but once Shepard showed up it had become more natural. Garrus was telling a story about taking down a group of mercenaries that had kidnapped an ambassador. He was constantly being interrupted by Wrex's comments on how the mercenaries could have been smarter, only to have Shepard offer a counter argument. Wrex, Garrus, Shepard, and even Liara were engrossed in the conversation. Ashley seemed worried about Bourne, but still commented on occasion.

Bourne stayed silent. His face was utterly expressionless, but his body language said that his mind was being weighed down by something. _Is that what I've looked like for the past few days?_ Tali wondered. She had originally been completely convinced that it was her fault for what happened on Therum, but since Garrus had invited her along earlier in the day, she had wondered. She'd gone back over what had happened in her mind.

She thought about opening the gate, and actually couldn't decide if that was her fault. Multiple people had told her that it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't have known what would happen. But Tali had been the one to do it. _Keelah, even Bourne said he could understand why I might blame myself for it. _She decided that it actually was her fault, but since Bourne had forgiven her, she wasn't wallowing like she had before. And the more she thought about what Bourne had said about the mining laser, the more she realized he was right. _What else could I have done anyway? I couldn't have ignored an order. Though he never actually told me to do anything. Although, he did step aside to let me do it, so I guess he did. Keelah, it's complicated. It's both our faults, that's as far as I'm convinced._

She realized Bourne was looking at her, and at Garrus, but then he turned his head to Ashley. He seemed to listening, but his body language was out of sync with the conversation. _I wonder what he's thinking about. _Tali didn't want to pry, but she was curious. Bourne was the only person to treat as an equal, even though she was a quarian. _No, wait, so does Shepard. But then again, she treats everybody equally. _She glanced at the Turian sitting next to her. _And I guess Garrus does. Although, he did look a bit suspicious when there were other Quarians in here earlier. But he still treats me like a friend? Why?_

Her train of thought was cut off as the Waitress set down Bourne's and Shepard's drinks. She felt a moment of disgust as Shepard took a sip of her drink, and fought back a shudder. It looked like human blood to Tali. She had seen a lot of it after Bourne had collapsed on the Normandy after being lifted on board.

Nobody else seemed to make the connection though, so Tali dropped the thought. Bourne lifted his menu, and scrolled through it. Tali thought about asking to see it when he was done. She'd never be able to eat human food of course, or any sort of food that wasn't ground into paste, but she wondered what sort of things humans ate.

"I SAID BRING ME A DRINK!" Bourne swiveled his head to look so quickly, Tali wondered that his head stayed attached. Tali turned to the sound as well, looking past Garrus on her left.

She saw that the Voice belonged to a Batarian in what Tali recognized from her lessons as the Armor of the Blue Suns. "I'm sorry sir. There's been a slight delay in the kitchens today." A human standing in front of him said. The batarian slid his way out of the Chair, and he towered over her.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO WANTS EXCUSES!" He shouted in her face. His arm was a blur, too fast for Tali to see as he struck the women across the face. She collapsed to the ground.

"WHEN I WANT SOMETHING, I WANT IT NOW!" The human Bouncer looked ready to act, but seemed hesitant to engage the mercenary. _I can't blame him to much though. That Batarian looks as tough as Wrex. _The batarian twitched, and the Woman grunted in pain. Tali realized that he had kicked her. She wanted to draw her shotgun, but she knew that the move would only attract his attention.

She saw a human stagger up to the Batarian, clearly drunk. The batarian turned to face the newcomer.

"Hey, commann man, leaver aloune." Tali gasped as she recognized the Voice. She turned to Bourne's seat, then back to the drunk man, and back again. She hadn't even heard Bourne move, she was so focused what was happening. _Oh Keelah! That Batarian is going to kill him! _She snaked her arm around to draw her shotgun, but Garrus grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

She stared at him, but he kept his focus on the confrontation. "Relax. Bourne knows what he's doing." Wrex and Shepard seemed to think the same thing. Shepard wasn't worried, and Wrex seemed almost hungry in anticipation. Ashley was staring at Garrus in shock, while Liara was glancing anxiously between Shepard and Bourne.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS HUMAN"

"I saaaid. Leaver alione."

"YOU GOT GUTS TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT." He drew a fist back. "NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SPILL THEM ON THE FLOOR!" Tali didn't even have time to scream as the fist flew towards Bourne's face.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, you should probably know by now that when it's first person, it's Bourne, but I'm telling you all the same.<strong>

I ducked under the Batarian's fist, dropping to the ground and sweeping his leg out from under him. He fell in a heap. I propelled myself back up effortlessly with my Biotics, landing on my feet and taking stance that would insure I couldn't be knocked off my feet suddenly. Swearing, he tried getting to his feet, only to look up into the Barrel of my Pistol.

I cocked my head to the left, a sign in Batarian culture that I held myself superior to him. My face let him know I knew exactly what I was doing. "You might want to think twice about trying that again" I said, dropping the false slur I had before. It worked better than I thought, though I had noticed I hadn't convinced Wrex or Garrus. I felt a small bit of irritation, but my main goal was to fool the batarian, and it had clearly worked so I just put it aside.

"Typical human. Too cowardly to fight fair." He sounded a lot different when he wasn't shouting like an idiot.

"Speak for yourself." I said, motioning my head to where the Waitress was just now getting back to her feet. I smiled as I did it, as she was on my left, and thus I was insulting him again.

He stared up at me with his four eyes. I knew his goal was to confuse me by wondering which pair to look at, so I simply stared at his odd nose.

"You wouldn't be so tough if you didn't have that gun."

"Maybe, but since I do have a gun, it really doesn't matter. Get up." I motioned the gun upwards, and he got to his feet. "Now, here's what's going to happen. You're going to walk out of here without looking back, and you're going to do it without complaining."

"And if I don't?"

I stuck the gun right in his face. I thought it looked weird when a human crossed their eyes to look at something close, but the sight of all four of his eyes riveted on my gun was even more so. "Take a guess at the alternative."

"You don't have the guts to pull that trig-" I cut him by pulling it back, then jamming it right under his chin. The force of the gun alone elicited a grunt.

"You really want to finish that sentence?" I asked sarcastically. I didn't want to have to kill him, but I wouldn't lose sleep over it in this case. I'd already killed a multitude of thugs, and that Krogan back on Therum. Apparently Iron had rubbed off a bit, since I didn't feel guilt over ending their lives. It irritated me, but if I felt guilty over ever criminal I killed, I'd be useless here. My way of thinking had been changed a lot by my being here.

His bottom set of eyes remained focused on me, but his top pair flicked swiftly to my right. I felt instinct take over and I drove my left hand into the side of his head as I turned in the direction I had seen. Two other members of his gang were right in front of me, Pistols halfway cleared from their holsters. I grabbed the gun out of the one on left's hands with my Biotics, and Shot the other one in the chest. It only took down his shields, but it stunned him long enough to deliver a swift left hook, knocking him to the ground. The one on the left took a step back, and I let him, not wanting to kill him unless I had to. Then he took a swing at me, which I ducked under. I swung my leg around, kicking him in the face, and dropping him. The original guy got back to his feet, and I turned to face him, my gun aimed square at his face.

Then he did the most unfair thing you can do to a man in a fight, and I dropped to my knees. He kicked the gun away from me, and leveled his own gun at my head.

I heard the others draw their own guns. "Don't even try it." The scumbag said. I couldn't tell who he was saying it to, as I was staring at the ground, trying to get my strength back. His partners had gotten to their feet

"What you saying before? You'd shoot me? Well then, I guess this can be counted in self-defense." He gloated.

A red haze filled my vision, fueled by anger and pain. The haze turned to purple as I created a Biotic Barrier around myself. I'd been willing to just disarm them and let them run before, but this guy had just pissed me off.

"What the-" His words were cut off as I slammed my fist into his leg. My biotics tore through his shields like they weren't even there, and he collapsed as my fist connected. I rose to my feet, turning to face the other two, who also had their guns drawn. I flicked my wrist and they went flying out of their hands.

The one I'd shot was dumb enough to try rushing me. I shot an arm forward and my Biotics gave new meaning to throwing somebody out of the club. I couldn't suppress a grim smile as I heard him tumbling down the stairs. The one I had kicked held back, seeing what I could do. He threw a punch with his right hand, and I simply grabbed it in the air with my own hand. It turned out to be a ruse though. With his left, he stabbed at my head with a knife that had come out of nowhere. I rolled to the side, landing in a crouch. I sprang forward, ramming a shoulder right into his gut, and he doubled over, dropping his knife, which I grabbed out of the air. I clenched my fist around it, and threw a punch into his lower left eye. He swayed a moment, before I hit him over the head and he collapsed to the ground.

The original antagonist got to his feet, clearly favoring his right over his now injured left. He looked at me with unease. I wanted to slit his throat, but I held back. I knew that on some degree the alcohol was clouding my judgment, even if it wasn't very much. _But more than that, killing him is exactly what Iron would do._

I knocked him to his back, planting a foot on his chest, and pinning him there. I looked around at the ground, looking for my gun. Something was tossed towards me, and I caught it Biotically. I realized Wrex had thrown my gun back to me, and that he and the others no longer had their own guns out. Shepard was looking at me with concern, but I ignored her. I wanted him to think I was going to kill him. Fear would last much longer than anything else. I pointed the gun right at his head.

All four of his eyes were wide with fear.

"Now, remember that choice I had before? You can drag your friend out of here, or you can both be carried out in bags."

"No! Please" I smiled as I heard the hint of true fear in his tone. "Just let us go, we won't bother anyone ever again."

"No. You won't." I fired the gun, just a few inches to the right of his head. "Because if do, I will hunt you down."

"Who are you?" his eyes were wider than dinner plates.

"Jason Bourne." He gasped in recognition of the name. "I take it you know what that means. It means if I wanted to kill you, I could do it without ever worrying about the consequences."

He gulped.

I took my foot off of his chest. "Now, I'm going to start counting. And if you're still here by the time I get to-" I didn't even need to finish the sentence before he took off running. I holstered my gun as I smiled at his retreating back. The thug I hit in the eye suddenly got to his feet, another knife in his right hand. He lunged at my neck, only to find my own knife buried in his gut. He looked down at the knife, then promptly passed out. I drew it out with a grunt of distaste. I studied the knife I'd taken from him.

It was about 5 inches in length, and as I saw a button on the side, I realized it was retractable. I hit the button and the blade vanished into the 4 inch hilt. I hit it again, and it slid back out. I closed it and slid it into a pocket._ Huh, pretty advanced to be able to segment like that. Might come in handy when I don't have my other knives._

I turned my back on the unconscious batarian and sat down at the table. The silence was as loud as thunder.

I looked around at them then grinned and said "What? Do I have something in my teeth?"

Wrex broke the silence with a deep dooming laugh. "You definitely have one hell of a quad Bourne. Not so sold on the brain." Everyone laughed at that. Well, except Tali, but she always did seem to have trouble understanding human humor. _Maybe if I get Bored I can teach her about it._

"Jason, you are one hell of a guy." Ashley said, throwing an arm around me. "I'm definitely going to have to watch myself around you"

Shepard chuckled. "Feel better now Bourne?"

"Actually, yeah I kinda do." I smirked.

Shepard just shook her head. "Maybe you should lay off the alcohol."

"Have to agree with the Commander on that one Bourne." Garrus agreed. "Though for the record the drunk act didn't work on me."

"Whatever." I picked the datapad menu back up. This definitely called for trying a varren steak.

"What had you all depressed before anyway?" Ashley asked me.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. What were you saying before Garrus? Something about the Turian Counselor getting shot? That actually sounds like a story I want to hear."

* * *

><p><strong>And, that's going to do it folks.<strong>

**Again, Reviews are appreciated, especially people just coming to the story, and if you have suggestions on how to improve, lay them on me.**

**Until next weekend, Sayonara. **

Return to Top


	28. New revalations, and New Worries

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, then fem Shep would be the main character instead of maleshep.**

**Hey check it out, I finally figured out how to add those little lines instead of just putting bold text to say things. I'll try to remember to go back and add those to previous chapters. Probably not for a while though. I just want to finish the story before I go back and double check Sp/grammer. Once it's nice and perfect, I'll start on the sequel. I really just comb over chapters before I publish them, but since it takes a while to change out documents, it's kind of a pain to go back and change things unless it's in the very last chapter I published. Ok, enough rambling.**

* * *

><p>"urgh" <em>What happened last night?<em> Shepard lay there a moment more, looking at the interior of Anderson's cabin. _My cabin_ she reminded herself. It was unusual, having an actual bed to sleep in. She'd been serving on military vessels for years, and during most of that time, she'd had to settle for a sleeper pod like most crew.

Rubbing her eyes, she got out of bed and dressed in her usual fatigues. She inspected herself in the mirror, seeing rings under her eyes. _How late were we out?_

Yawning, she left her cabin and headed towards the mess hall.

"Come on Williams, there's no way Bourne would beat him." She heard Garrus say as she got closer. He and the rest of the ground team were sitting at their own table. She grabbed a ration pack, and sat down next to Liara. _God, I must be more hung-over than I thought. I didn't even notice Bourne and Wrex were gone._

"They're both Biotics" Garrus retorted.

"Yeah, but Jason is a lot better with them."

"Wrex is a battlemaster; he's been fighting for longer than you're likely to live."

"What are you guys talking about?" Shepard asked as she sat down next to Garrus and Liara.

"These two have been arguing this whole time" Kaiden said in exasperation.

"Keelah, it's enough to give a Krogan a head ache"

Shepard turned to Liara. "What are they arguing about?"

"They're debating whether Wrex or Lt. Bourne would win in a fight. They both make strong arguments though neither has managed to convince the other."

Shepard turned to the rest of the table. "How did this subject even come up?"

"I think it had something to do with Jason shooting at Wrex yesterday." Ashley replied.

"See, that shows that Bourne is unstable. Who in their right mind would shoot at a Krogan?"

Shepard smirked. "You know he's standing right behind you?"

Garrus spun around in shock, making everyone else at the table laugh. "Very funny Shepard."

"And yet, he just as easily could have been there. Just like he could have pulled that trick on Wrex and taken him out before Wrex even knew he was there." Ashley rubbed in.

"I doubt it. Wrex doesn't seem like he'd be able to be taken by surprise so easily."

"Well, Bourne managed to take down his shields before he even reacted" Tali put in. "And if he had fired one more time, we'd have a clearer idea of the winner."

"Really? Then I'm impressed. But isn't it possible he just got lucky?"

Shepard chuckled "Knowing him, it was luck-pure luck- but he'd still brag about it being skill."

Ashley laughed. "Have to agree with you on that one skipper."

Tali just shook her head. "I still can't believe you're even debating it in the first place."

"Because Garrus is too suborn to admit I'm right. Bourne could beat Wrex any day of the week."

"I still say that Wrex has more experience so he'd be more likely to win." Garrus said

"With all due respect, that's bullshit. He's trained since he could walk"

Shepard shrugged. "With Bourne, who knows? He'd probably try to talk Wrex to sleep, then just start breaking things."

The other five just stared at her.

"What? It's true! Bourne's main power seems to be annoying people until they_ he's right behind me isn't he?"

"Yep" Shepard got out of her seat, turning to face him. _Huh? Where'd he-_ "Sorry, is this seat taken Shepard?" Sure enough, when Shepard turned back around, he had sat down in her seat.

Shepard groaned. "How did you even manage that?"

"What, you think I spent all morning on the Shooting range so I'd look good?" he chuckled, getting out of the chair to sit next to Ashley.

"It looks to me like you do." Ashley whispered, barely loud enough for Shepard to hear.

Garrus chuckled though, so he must have heard too. "How much of that did you actually hear anyway?"

"Right about when Shepard said I only have luck. By the way Shepard-"

"Bourne, whatever you're thinking about saying, you might want to rethink it."

He chuckled. "Come on Shepard, you don't even know what I was going to say."

"I can guess." She said exasperatedly. _Either a comment about me and Liara, or some other dirty minded thing._ She wasn't embarrassed about being with Liara, but she didn't want her image affected by intolerant idiots. _Besides, it's none of his business._

"What I was going to say is that we need to-"

"Bourne-"

"To talk to Admiral Kohoku. From what I've heard, he's been trying to find out what happened to that Squad that vanished on Edolous. You know, the one that we found right before we found Liara" The tone in his voice clearly said that "Liara" meant "your girlfriend."

Shepard paused with her mouth half open. "Oh. Right. Wait, how did you hear about it?"

"I have my ways." He said with a smirk. _And what I wouldn't give to figure out those ways. He was only on the Citadel for a few hours._

"Feel like sharing what they might be?"

"You know I'd make you tell me something in return."

Shepard sighed. "Good point. Forget I said anything."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(Could you have cut that any closer? You practically admitted knowing about the future)_

_) Oh, now you're talking to me again? Damn, and here I was ready to throw a party celebrating not having to talk to you.(_

_(Go to Hell)_

_)Yeah, right back at you.(_

_(I'm trapped in the mind of a juvenile idiot with no common sense. How could Hell be much worse?)_

I fought back a grin and turned back to the conversation. "I figured one of us might as well be the one to break the news to him, seeing as we're the ones who found them in the first place."

Ashley turned to me. "Then I want to be there too." _Why do I get the feeling that isn't the only reason she wants to spend time with me?_

Shepard thought about it, then nodded. "The three of us should probably go get suited up then. Considering what Bourne got himself into last night, we're going to need the gear"

"Very funny Shepard." I snapped my fingers, sending my pistol into my hand Biotically. I never took it off after finishing on the Shooting range. "That's what this is for anyway."

"That's a pretty big gun Bourne. Are you sure you aren't compensating for something? Garrus snickered.

I turned my head to glare at him.

"Uh, right. If you need me, I'm going to go…do some calibrations. Away from you and the gun."

"Smart answer." I smirked, putting my gun away.

He left hastily. Kaiden glanced at me, and excused himself as well, going over to work on that console of his. _Good._ I turned back to Shepard and Ashley. "So who's the fourth person? Shepard and I plus two others seems to work best."

Shepard glanced at Liara, and she nodded slightly. "How about Liara? That reminds me, you think you could give me some help with something later?" I grinned until she realized how that came out. "I mean, can you give me a hand training her how to use her pistol better?"

"No problem." I smirked as I realized something. "You know, Me and Ashley, you and Liara, it's like a double date here." Shepard kept her face neutral, but her cheeks blossomed red. Liara's did the same. Well, her cheeks turned purple, but same difference.

Ashley stared at me. "Wait, what?" Tali took one look at Shepard, and fled.

"Bourne, if you're smart, you'll shut up now." Shepard said with a hint of menace.

"Hey, I never claimed to be a genius. So, would change your name to Raptor Tsoni, or would she change her name to Liara Shepard? How does that work? " Shepard's reply was to slug me. Hard.

"Damn Shepard, do you practice doing that?" I said, rubbing my Shoulder.

"If you want me to start, keep talking."

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, the four of us left the Normandy to find the Admiral. My shoulder was still throbbing. Too bad Iron didn't give me any special ability to block out pain. And medigel wasn't able to do much either. Best I could do was to try to not make faces every time I moved.<p>

We got onto the docking elevator. I leaned against the wall, while Shepard and Ashley practically stood at attention the whole way.

"So, you guys want to hit the markets while we're here?" Shepard asked. Her ears were still red as tomatoes.

I almost made some sort of joke about Shepard wanting to spice things up, but then my Shoulder throbbed and told me to stay quiet.

"Actually skipper, I've meaning to try getting some better armor. " She looked my way and smiled. "With the sort of crazy things that happen around Jason, I'm going to want heavy armor."

Shepard nodded. "Might not be such a bad idea to switch to a heavier armor myself." She glanced at me. "What about you Bourne?"

I raised a hand to my chin, thinking it over. _I'm like half adept, half vanguard, and neither of them have heavy armor, so I doubt I could handle it. Then again, this isn't a video game now. On the other hand…_"Nah, I'll stick with this. Cost's a lot less. It'd take forever to change the blades over anyway" I said, flicking a knife into my hand for emphasis.

Shepard's hand twitched towards her gun at the sight of the knife. "Suit yourself."

I retracted the blade and flicked it back onto my arm. "You even have enough to pay for a couple sets of armor?"

Shepard shrugged. "Who knows? Can't hurt to at least check out the price. We can always come back later"

_(Right…What were you saying about this not being a like video game?)_

_)Shut up(_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

It only took a few minutes for the group to reach the council chambers. Bourne didn't say how he knew that the Admiral would be here, but Shepard believed him when he said he knew.

She saw a guy in the uniform of an admiral, and went over to speak to him.

"No, I'm waiting to speak to one of the Councilors' assistants." he said into a communications console. He noticed Shepard and turned to face her. "Commander Shepard? What can I do for you?"

"I understand a group of your marines went missing a while back."

Shepard fought back the urge to groan at herself for not even noticing that Bourne had followed her.

"Yes, they did. Have you heard something about them?"

Shepard nodded. "I hate to be the one to tell you this Admiral, but they were killed by Thresher Maws."

"What? Thresher Maws? That's impossible! They wouldn't just wander into a Thresher Nest! Not the whole unit!"

Shepard fought back a glare, remembering how her own squad had done just the same. She still felt guilt over that. Her entire squad, her first command, gone.

Bourne had no such control, but he managed to return his expression to normal after a moment. "It wasn't an Accident Admiral. It was a trap. Somebody placed a distress beacon right in the middle of the nest. They responded, and, well, you get the idea."

Kohoku looked at him. "I'm guessing you must be Lt. Bourne?"

Bourne muttered something to himself about getting a higher rank.

"I've had a bad feeling about this ever since they went missing. The whole unit wiped out, an Alliance Beacon used as bait, but nobody knows anything?"

"It's no coincidence." Bourne agreed. _Almost too quickly… he's good at reading people, but this seems a little too fast._

"Thank you Commander, and you too Lt. Bourne." Bourne got an irritated look at "Lt." but didn't say anything. "I appreciate what the two of you did. The families of those marines deserve to know how they died."

Ashley cleared her throat. "Bourne and I managed to convert the distress beacon into a warning beacon. If you want to risk sending someone to retrieve the bodies, the location should pretty clearly marked on the planet."

"Thank you. I'll take care of it from here. You've done enough."

Bourne stared at his retreating back, his face unreadable. "_I've done enough indeed." _ He said to himself darkly. _Now what could he mean by that?_ Just then, Shepard's Omni-tool signaled an incoming message from the Normandy

"Go ahead Joker."

"I've picked up an encrypted signal hailing us, you want me to forward it to you?"

Bourne turned back to Shepard. "Is it Alliance?"

"Negative. I can't tell who's sending it."

He glanced at Shepard. "Route it through. Might be worth hearing"

The Omni-tool was silent a moment, then a message came across. "Commander Shepard, my name is Nassana Dantius. I have a…propostion for you. I can't say more over a com channel. If you want to know more, meet at the ambassadors' lounge on the presidium." The Omni-tool went silent again.

"She cut off communication." Shepard looked at Bourne. "What do you think?"

Bourne had a look of slight distaste. "How about you go see what she wants, and I'll meet you in the markets?" _He seems hesitant, but if he thought it was a trap, he'd have said so. _"If you don't remember, I don't get along well with politicians." _At one point, I might have bought that as the only reason, but now it seems more like an excuse. _Shepard didn't know why, but he clearly didn't want to talk to her. _Well, he is my XO. If I can't trust him over something like this, what was the point of arranging that?_

"Alright. You and Ashley head down there. And this time, try not to end up shooting the med lab."

"Whatever."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I was angry. Not with Iron, odd as it was, but I was a bit ill-tempered in general at the moment. I tried convincing myself that the Admiral's death would've happened anyway, but on some level I didn't know how true it actually was.

_(How long are you going to keep wallowing like this?)_

Scratch that. Now I was angry at Iron. _)You don't like it in here, find someone else to taunt.(_

_(If only I could.)_

I was also a bit annoyed at a certain Asari destined to be assassinated on Illium. _Still, what else could I have done? I know she's going to lie, but without proof I can't say anything about it. Though in this case, at least I don't feel guilt. If Shepard and I don't take her down, someone else will. They say as much in the second game._

I shook my head, focusing myself on the console in front of me. There was a lot of Armor to browse through. The trouble was remembering what Armor was good, and which would be worse than what they had now. I eventually found Heavy Armor better than what they had. But when I saw the price I swore.

I looked over at Ashley, who was looking at another place nearby. Judging by the look on her face, she wasn't having much luck either.

I sighed and tried to ignore the guilt still clawing at me. And ignore Iron's complaining about said guilt.

I didn't find any human armor, but I bought a new set of Armor for Tali, and had it sent to the Normandy.

"Any luck?" I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, then turned to face Shepard.

"Shepard, it's not polite to steal other people's jobs. I'm the ninja around here."

"I wasn't even trying to be stealthy. I guess you were just focused on finding Ashley a set of Armor that went with her eyes." She said with a smile.

"Now you're taking my job as chief jokester?"

"Oh stop whining Jason." Ashley said, coming over to join us.

"You have any luck Ash?"

"I found a couple of guns, but nothing that was worth buying."

Shepard nodded. "I really didn't think we would find anything, but it was worth a look."

I almost felt time slow down as I looked at her. _Wait, in game I always stopped on the citadel, which I rationalized in the cannon as getting supplies. But I was really just getting side missions._

_(You must have subconsciously…"programmed", for lack of a better word, how things like that would be. That could also account for Raptor's romancing of Liara)_

_)Hmm. I hate to give you credit, but that makes sense.(_

_(And did you notice you got Tali that same black and Red armor that you got her in game?)_

_)Argggh. I hate it when you're right.(_

_(It's worth keeping an eye on.)_

_)By which you mean you're going to try to exploit it to get me killed.(_

_(Look who's finally catching on.)_

I was jolted back to reality without warning. _What the hell? Did Iron just block me out?_

"You okay Jason?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bit of a hangover from last night."

"You only had one drink."

"Maybe I got drunk off of you"

Ashley blushed, something I would not have expected.

"Are you two done flirting?" Shepard asked.

I rolled my eyes and went over to dial up a rapid transport shuttle. While I was, I caught movement in my peripheral vision. I glanced up and saw a woman standing nearby.

"Jason Bourne?" _Finally, someone that doesn't call me Lt. Bourne._

"That's me." I said, turning to face her. "Something I can do for you miss….?" she seemed familiar, but I couldn't place her.

"Wong. Emily Wong. I'm a reporter investigating organized crime on the citadel. Word is that you're the one who took down Fist." _Oh, duh. _

"Well, he did have some help" Shepard said, walking over to us.

"Of course. Your push for him to become Spectre was the biggest new for weeks. But I'm more interested in what happened before you became Spectres. I'm sure that Fist was a main player in the crime rings here. Did you find anything in his Office that might prove it?"

I looked at my belt, and saw that the osd still hanging off of it. _How did that thing make it this long?_

_(If I had to guess, I'd say it was you bending reality some more. Interesting) _then he blocked me out again, once again making me guess how he did it.

I shook my head, removing the disc from my belt. "This OSD might have what you need."

"You found fist's files? This is even bigger than I hoped. How much would it cost for you to-"

I cut her off by handing it to her.

"Wow. I never expected-" She put the OSD in her pocket, and brought up her Omni-tool, transferring a few hundred credits to my account. "Here. A little something for your trouble. And I'd throw in a little extra if you were willing to do an interview after your investigation."

I shrugged. _Eh, why not? _"I think that can be arranged. Of course, Shepard's the one you really want to talk to."

Shepard glanced at me, then back at the reporter. "Sure."

"Fantastic!" She transferred more into both of our accounts. "Thank you for the help. Now I need to go see what's on this OSD"

Shepard turned back to the transport terminal. "Come on, let's get out of here before a fan starts asking me for autographs. Again."

I laughed. "What?"_ Verner already got to her? Man, I'm glad I didn't have to deal with that myself._

Shepard groaned. "Long story short, a "fan" of mine caught up with me before I became a spectre, and then again a few minutes ago. Nice guy, but no sense at all."

"Yeah, I know the type." I laughed, getting into the shuttle.

* * *

><p>As I was putting my gear away, Joker's voice came over the intercom.<p>

"Hey, Commander, and uh…"

"Joker, if you call me Lt. I will personally come up there and-"

"And Bourne, there's a message coming in. You might want to get up here."

I shook my head, putting away my Armor. "I'm on my way Joker." I grabbed my off-duty holster for my Pistol and slid the Knife I got the knife before into a pocket, then got in the Elevator to head to the higher deck.

"Bourne, can you wait a moment?" Liara asked, rushing over.

"No problem."

"Thank you. These elevators are almost diabolically slow."

"I've noticed." I said, leaning against the wall.

Liara bit her lip, seeming to mull over something.

"Something on your mind Liara?"

"No. Well, perhaps. I've noticed you've brought up Shepard and I several times. But you always seem to be joking when you do it. Is there something I'm not getting about the relationship?"

I frowned. "I'm not sure I follow."

"Is Shepard being with me as source of embarrassment? I must admit, I've never even considered a human as a mate," I had to fight back laughter at her word choice "and I haven't heard of many Asari with Human females." She seemed to hesitate, but then continued. "Perhaps it's because Asari only have one gender, but I don't understand why that trend may be."

I stared a moment, then mulled over what she really wanted to know. "You're worried that- What?"

"Well, Shepard seems reluctant to talk about it in Public, or even among the crew. I worry that I may be-"

I held up a hand, cutting her off. "The main reason Shepard is more hesitant, is because well… I know Asari are Monogendered, but to Humans, you seem Female. Some people look down on Female/Female relationships, and I guess Shepard is just worried it might reflect poorly on the Alliance. "

"So, Shepard is embarrassed by me?"

"I've seen the two of you together; nothing could be farther from the truth. But if you're really concerned about it, Shepard is the one you need to talk to, not me."

Liara thought about it, then nodded. "I suppose. Thank you Bourne. If you don't mind my saying, you are wise as a matriarch."

I chuckled. "Wise? No, I just am good at reading some people."

The elevator door slid open, and I went upstairs, while Liara went to her office/living area behind the med-bay.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard turned as Bourne walked onto the deck. He was grinning, which probably meant Shepard was going to want to hit him very soon.

"Ok Bourne, what did you do this time to make you grin like that?"

"Just having a chat with Dr. Tsoni." He replied.

"Why do I not like the sound of that?"

Joker interrupted from the com console on the Galaxy Map. "Ok, since you're both here, I'm going to patch the message through."

The com crackled a moment, "Commander Shepard, Bourne, this is Admiral Hacket, fifth fleet."

"**Finally**! Someone that doesn't have to add Lt. before my name."

"Yes, well Ms. Al-Jilani's story on you just aired, and I noticed that was a bit of an irritation to you. Of course, your treatment of her was an irritation to the Alliance high brass. This is coming straight from the Joint military command."

"With all due respect Admiral, she had it coming. Heck, to be honest, I picked a milder treatment then what I could have done. Besides, if she left in the earlier portion of the interview then you saw that she would have tried smearing us no matter what we did."

"I agree. But there were better ways to handle it then destroying her camera. Satisifying as it was to watch. But that's only a side note to the real reason I'm calling."

Bourne actually looked confused a moment.

Shepard cut in. "Then what are you calling about Admiral?"

"I've received some information you may want to see." Bourne's face instantly twisted into its normal lack of expression. _Like he was hiding something? This isn't the first time today that he's done that. _"Someone is killing former Alliance Scientists. Four have been killed in the last month."

"You want us to look into it?"

"Yes. But there's more. We've found a connection between the Scientists…and you."

Bourne nodded to himself. "What connection is that?"

"They all worked on a classified project several years ago. On Akuze"

Shepard gasped. "What?"

"No way can it be coincidence." Bourne said. 

"Agreed. Those Thresher Maws killed dozens of Soldiers. If it wasn't an accident…"

"We need to find out who's responsible." Shepard and Bourne said at the same time.

"Shepard…What you do with this is up to you. I just thought you'd want to know. There was another scientist that worked on the project, so I'm sending you his last known coordinates."

Shepard looked at them and shook her head. "Admiral, unless there's a place for the Normandy to land that I'm not seeing, we won't be able to deploy."

"Right, your tank was destroyed. I managed to pull a few favors though. You should have a new Mako onboard in the next hour."

Bourne frowned. "Udina said it would take almost another week to get a new Mako."

"It's not a new Mako persay. Another Alliance vessel is also on shore leave there. I managed to convince the captain to give you his Mako, and replace it with the one you were supposed to get."

Shepard shrugged. " I guess we got lucky. Pretty rare odds for something like that."

Bourne looked away, lost in thought. "Yeah. Lucky."

"I'm not going to order you to cut your shore leave short, but the sooner we find out what's going on the better. Good luck to both of you. Fifth Fleet out."

Shepard turned to Bourne, weighing her options. "He has a point about Shore Leave."

Bourne raised his hand to his chin, clearly thinking. "Yeah, but… how about we wait for the Tank to get here, and then we decide?"

Shepard nodded agreement. "You feel like giving me that hand with Liara's shooting now?"

"huh? Oh yeah, sure. Just give me a minute to get down there. He headed downstairs, seeming to walk slightly faster to Shepard's eye.

* * *

><p><em>( You can no longer deny what I've been saying all along.)<em>

_)Yeah yeah I get it; the mako appears out of nowhere in a one-in-a-million chance so odds are that I'm somehow responsible for it. It doesn't take a fucking scientist to figure it out.(_

_( You warp reality. Or maybe it's both of us, either way…)_

_)Just stop right there.(_

_(Or else what? You'll kill me?)_

With some effort I managed to block him out. _He's right though. If the OSD didn't convince me, this did. The real Question is how much I warp Reality. How far can I stretch it before it breaks? Is there a chance that Kaiden might live? Or that Shepard won't lose those two years? Could I stop the war against the Reapers before it even has a chance to begin?_

_The question is, would those changes be for the better, or could they ruin everything?_

**Next Chapter: Cerberus**

**That's going to do it for this Chapter. I know there was really no action, but that's just because I had to set it up for later chapters. **

**If you haven't already, (which is most of you) please review and let me know what you think. And to those of you who do review, thank you.**

**Until next time, Hasta la Vista.**


	29. Shepard's dilemma

**Ok, this is going to be the third to last chapter before getting back on track with core worlds. I was going to have this whole thing be a part of next chapter, but it ended up going off on its own and I decided it was too long to not be a separate chapter. **

** I hate to potentially jinx myself here, but I'm going to do it anyway. The next chapter should be up later today or early tomorrow, and the third should be up late Black Friday. (Though that probably means the day after depending on where you live.) Then I'll try to get through the majority of Feros over the weekend. Or I might just end up too stuffed with turkey and Pumpkin Pie and do it the weekend after.**

**Either way, I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Wrex would be a party member in ME2. Just imagine having him and Grunt on a team. But then again, there'd probably be way too much head-butting in that case. **

"Nice shot Liara!"

"Eh, not bad." That earned me an eye roll from Shepard. We'd been helping Liara for about half an hour, and she was, well….

_(Man, no wonder I never took her on missions. She could barely hit the backside of a mako)_

_) Yeah, well, she couldn't get actual help in game. Who knows, maybe I can help Shepard turn her into a crack shot.(_

_(Only if you really think you can work against yourself) _ With that, Iron withdrew to the back of my mind. _What the hell is he talking about? _ I shook my head and focused back on the two of them.

"Shepard, this is no use. I'm a decent shot, but not nearly good enough for what you encounter on your missions."

"Liara, you're just lacking confidence." Shepard replied.

"Yes, well, as you humans say, confidence and a few creds can get you a hot drink."

I chuckled despite myself. "I don't think that's quite how that saying goes."

Liara shook her head, collapsing her gun. "I still don't see how you thought this would be a good idea."

Jokers timing was impeccably bad. "Uh, Commander, that Mako just showed up. But they need to talk to you to get the final details settled. Or because they want your autograph. I'm guessing it's the first one though."

Shepard shot the ceiling a dirty look. Sighing, she said she'd be right up. "I guess we're done here." She said to me and Liara.

"Actually Raptor, I'd rather practice a little more with Lt. Bourne." I just rolled my eyes at that, knowing that it was just her way of talking about the military people on the ship. Well except for Joker, but that was different. "If I have to carry a gun, I'd like to know that I can actually use it."

I barely kept my eyes from narrowing in suspicion. "Yeah, no problem." _Ok, she's a horrible liar. Lucky for her that Shepard is oblivious because she's he-_

_(Because she's imagining Liara naked.)_

_Uh, yeah, something like that._ I programed the range for another set of targets, then heard Shepard leave. I waited until I was she was out of earshot, then turned to Liara.

"Ok Liara, why did you really want to talk to me?" I asked her, dropping the charade.

She tried to deny it, but I cut her off before the words were even out of her mouth. "Liara, I can tell if you had a choice in the matter, you wouldn't be using that gun in the first place, so I doubt that you'd choose to spend more time with it." I sighed. "What's really bothering you?" _And how the Hell did I suddenly become a freaking shrink?_

Liara sighed. "Nothing can get past you, can it? I noticed Shepard wasn't acting like herself."

I tried to keep my face neutral. "What do you mean?"

"Not things that you would have noticed. But since Shepard and I are so close…"

I forced myself to keep a poker face, but it was not easy at all. "Well if I had to guess…she just got some news that could have caused it." I fought back a grimace, my knowledge of the future not exactly pleasant. "Someone is killing alliance scientists. The thing is, every single one of them did something on Akuze. Admiral Hacket wants us to investigate."

Liara was not remotely experienced at hiding her expressions, and I could see that she was shocked enough to be knocked over by a feather. "Is that why we're getting the Mako early? So that she can go and have to face her worst nightmares!"

_Well, in a matter of speaking, yes. It was actually because of me, but no sense telling her that._

_(You may have to.) _I knew what he meant, and I hoped I could put it off as long as possible. _Too risky until I have Shiala as a Guinea Pig. Christ, what am I saying? Am I really going to kill her if she finds out where I'm from?_

I shook my head. "Liara, I know that Shepard means a lot to you, but…"

"Do you know that she has nightmares about it almost every night? She wakes up in a cold sweat, fighting back screams. The only reason she has them less is because she feels less alone with me beside her in…."

"Liara, I did not need to know that!" _Christ, now it's going to take me forever to work that image out of my head. There are some things you just cannot know about the people you work with. _ "Look, the fact is, Shepard needs this." I noticed that the Holo Geth kept shooting me in the side, and turned to cancel the program. "You heard what happened to those soldiers on Edolous. They were lured into a Thresher nest."

I hesitated, trying to toe the line between common sense, and what would be too much information to be explained. "It's possible that the same thing happened on Akuze, and that the Scientists are being killed to hide it. It's a remote possibility I grant you, but it would make sense"

I turned back to her. "Shepard's haunted by Akuze, I don't need to get into her head to know that. If it was caused by someone else, she needs to know. Otherwise she's going to blame herself for the rest of her life."

"I want to come with you when we get there." Her words caught me off guard.

"What?"

"I agree that Shepard needs to do this, and that no force will convince her otherwise. But if you're right, I want to be there for her."

I looked at her in shock, then, for what was becoming much too common an occurrence, Iron and I agreed on something. _(Bad idea if you want her to live.)_

I turned and walked to the far side of the room, the walked back. _If she dies, Shepard is going to be screwed._

_(Duh. Losing a loved one will tend to do that. Heh Heh Heh, Just imagine how Kaiden's family will a tragady, don't you agree?)_

His words were like a punch in the gut, but that wasn't the only reason I knew it wouldn't be good. _She's the one that'll get Shepard's body away from the Shadow Broker. Who knows what'd happen if Shepard didn't get Lazarussed. _I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the dark thoughts, and turned to her. "Liara, Shepard couldn't have anybody better than you based on what you just offered. But no. It's way too risky for you."

"I might be young by Asari Standards, but I think you can agree I'm not a child anymore."

"It's not about your age. Look, what Shepard and I do is dangerous." I pulled up the side of my shirt to show her the still healing scar from when we had rescued her. I saw her eyes widen slightly at the sight. "Here's proof. I only barely pulled through, and that was mostly luck." I covered it back up and crossed my arms. "If you died because of that, Shepard would never forgive herself. And you wouldn't forgive yourself if she died to keep a bullet from hitting you instead. Not many people have what you two have. Don't risk it over something like this."

I turned to leave, and suddenly the world was tinted blue. I tried to turn, but I was immobilized.

(_She put you in stasis? So much for being able to read anybody.) _

_)Hey *Bronze*? Yeah, SHUT UP.(_

"I've only once found myself anywhere I couldn't handle, and that was when you found me. My combat skills might not be great, but I am very experienced with my Biotics."

I tried to answer, but even my jaw was held fast.

"If I can surprise someone like you, I believe I can deal with a few common soldiers. And I'm not letting you out of Stasis until you agree to let me accompany the two of you."

I rolled my eyes at her empty threat, and focused on activating my own abilities. Biotics were typically trained to focus their powers by associating a specific ability with a certain action, but I had been self-taught. My method was more to picture the result in my mind and let my instincts I got from coming here take over. I just imagined warping the stasis field, and that's what happened.

Liara stumbled back, surprised by the move.

I turned to face her, my own Biotics activated in case she was foolish enough to try doing it again. The fact that my eyes smoldered like miniature suns was also a bonus in a case like this.

"Liara, face it. You aren't ready for this. Right now, the best way you can help Shepard is to be here when she gets back. She may need a shoulder to lean on."

"Is Tali ready for all this than?"

Her question brought me up short, and I only barely kept my Biotics from simmering out of existence.

"She's no more experienced than I am, and yet you let her-"

"Ok, you have a point." I cut her off, also releasing my Biotics. I sighed. "Alright, I'll ask Shepard about it, but I'm not promising anything." I turned to leave. I stopped at the door

"Oh, and if you ever put me in stasis again, I'm going to leave you suspended via Singularity for the rest of the day."

_(Nice touch)_

_)I thought so.(_

**Shepard. **

Shepard tried not to breathe a sigh of relief when she stepped through the airlock. _Now I remember how much I hate paperwork. At least it was me doing it and not Bourne. He'd probably just tell them he was taking it and since he's a Spectre there's nothing they can do._

She went over to the Galaxy Map so she could program it for the coordinates that Admiral Hacket had sent. She and Bourne had agreed that this was more important then shoreleave. Some of the crew had disagreed, but Shepard managed to make a compramise. The people that hadn't had shoreleave would stay on the Citadel while the Normandy went looking for answers. Everyone else was coming with.

Of course, people had still complained then...Until Bouren got fed up and said that anybody that didn't like it could take option B and get spaced via airlock. That had dispelled the rebellion pretty quickly. _Bourne is not someone to piss off. Ever._

While she was dialing up the Galaxy map, she heard the bridge doors open, and she assumed that Bourne walked out since she didn't hear anything. _Speak of the devil, and he will send an annoying person to talk to you_ She thought with a smile.

"Hey Shepard?" _Yep, I was right._

She turned to face him "Yeah Bourne?"

He held up a hand. "Ok, I'm just going to say right now that this isn't my idea-"

"What did you do this time?" Shepard asked resignedly.

"Very funny. Long story short: Liara wanted to come along when we go looking for Dr. Whatever."

"Let me guess. She appealed to you to talk to me."

He shrugged. "That's one way to put it, I guess." He glanced around at the nearby crew, who were clearly listening in. His voice dropped to just above a whisper. "Shepard, I might have been blind about Ashley, but I can see that you and Liara…on second thought I'm not going to finish that sentence. Point is, she cares about you and wants to be there for you."

Shepard shook her head. "No way. Way too risky."

"Yeah, that's what I said. Then I was reminded me that Tali was willing to take this whole risk and we'd let her."

Shepard crossed her arms. "Ok, how did she really convince you? That can't be the only reason."

Bourne turned to go. "Shepard, this is your problem to deal with." He smirked. "No way am I getting in the middle of a lovers' quarrel."

Shepard's face turned red, and he darted through the door and down the stairs, laughing the whole way.

"_I thought Joker was Juvinile" _She muttered to herself. The she glanced at the few crew members on deck, and they hastily turned back to their tasks, pretending they hadn't heard and hoping to avoid her wrath._ Man, who I'm involved with is all they're going to talk about for days. Crap, and I'm the one that said it was a she. Bourne was deliberately avoiding her name._ Shepard chuckled at the Irony that Bourne had actually tried not to reveal anything, and that she had ended up doing it herself.

Bourne just shook her head and went down stairs to Liara's "office" behind the Med-Bay. Chakwas nodded at her as she walked past, but she was busy dealing with a crew member that had had too much to drink the night before. Shepard thought about talking with him later, but decided it wasn't worth it.

She opened the door, and walked in. She'd asked for permission before, but now she was here almost as much as Liara. _I wonder if I should talk to Bourne about giving him Anderson's old room since I haven't slept there for several days. Then again, he'd probably want to know where I have been sleeping, and I don't want to give him anymore ammo then he has already. _

Liara had several data pads on her desk; covered with information about the Protheans and their remnants. She was trying to find anything that matched the vision she'd seen when she merged with Shepard.

"Liara, can I talk to you for a second?"

Liara turned her chair to face her, setting down a data pad as she did so. "Of course Raptor." Shepard still felt a little thrill when she heard Liara say that. Almost nobody ever called her by her first name. But Liara wasn't just anyone.

Shepard sat down on the bed across from Liara. She just gazed at her lover for a moment, not believing how lucky she had been to find her. "Liara, why do you really want to come with me on this mission?"

"Did Lt. Bourne talk to you?"

Shepard nodded.

"Did he tell you what I said?"

"Well, he gave me a sort of outline, but told me to talk to you for details."

"I managed to put him in Stasis before he even reacted." Shepard just gaped at her as she continued. "I reminded him that I might not be the best shot, but I know how to use my Biotics very well."

Shepard hesitated, torn between logic and love. "Liara, everything you're saying makes sense, but I still think it's risky."

"No more risky than for anyone. I'm not just going to let you walk into your nightmares alone."

"Liara, I know you care; you don't have to prove it by doing this."

"I know. But I want to."

Shepard hesitated again, but she nodded. "Ok. But don't take any risks you don't have to. Even with your Biotics you don't have any combat training. I don't want you to put yourself in harm's way just to protect me."

Liara nodded. "You know, Lt. Bourne said the same thing about you."

Shepard smiled. "At least we have that much in common."

Liara got up and set next to her on the bed. "You do have a point. You're a dashing starship commander and the first human spectre. I'm just a Scientist who's spent most of her time studying an extinct race."

Shepard laughed. "Make that a cute Scientist."

Liara's cheeks turned purple in embarrassment. "Don't let Bourne hear you talking like that or you will never hear the end of it."

Shepard chuckled. "Tell me about it. He's made too many jokes about us for me to count." She felt Liara tense next to her.

"Yes, I suppose he has."

Shepard frowned. "Is there something wrong Liara?"

Liara glanced at her, then turned her head away. "Are you embarrassed that we're together Shepard?"

Shepard just stared at her in surprise. "What?"

"Bourne said that being with an Asari might be looked down on by some members of your species." She turned back to Shepard. "Is that why you never want to talk about us where other people can hear?"

"Liara, stop. I would never be embarrassed by you. I just…"

Liara looked at her, waiting for her to finish her thought.

"I don't know. It just hasn't seemed like a good move until now. But you're right. I'm not going to be especially open about it, but I'm not going to hide it anymore either."

Liara leaned her head on Shepard's shoulder. "You don't know how much it means to hear you say that."

"We might both be women, or close enough anyway, but I really don't give a damn anymore." Shepard turned to her. "I just know that the connection you talked about before, couldn't be more right."

"Doesn't this seem a bit strange? That we can be so close, and yet so different? Not even the same species?"

"Cross species relationships may not be common, but we aren't the first, and we definitely won't be the last."

"Still- we have only known each other a short time. Are you sure-"

Shepard put a finger to her lips, cutting her off. "Stop thinking like a Scientist for a minute. Love isn't something that you can just analyze. All you can do is let yourself get swept away in the storm"

"You make it sound so random, so dangerous… I think I could get used to that"

Shepard pulled her in closer. "Shut up and kiss me."

Their lips met passionately, and they tumbled back onto the bed. Shepard was glad she'd locked the door behind her when she came in. _If Bourne caught us right now, I don't know who'd die of shock and embarrassment first._

**Yeah, since the next chapter is going to be more…Actiony… I'm glad I didn't put this with that Chapter. **

**And for those of you disappointed by *ahem* where I ended, look at the rating again.**

**Next Chapter: Cerberus. (Took me long enough to get there.)**


	30. Cerberus, and Questions

**Yep. I jinxed myself by saying that last chapter. You think I'd have f***ing learned by now. But then again, this is the longest chapter yet since I couldn't find a good place to split it, so maybe that cancels it out.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If you haven't figured that out yet, go check in to a hospital because you may have a very minor case of serious brain damage.**

**Just for the record, this beginning part is right after Bourne runs away after the little "Lover's quarrel" comment. I just looked at it again and thought I might need to clarify.**

* * *

><p><em>(Face it, you simply are in denial.)<em>

_)About what this time?( _I slumped against the walls of the elevator, resigning myself to a long ride with the psycho. I didn't want to be around Raptor Shepard after that little comment, but I even less wanted to be around _Iron_ Shepard. Looking back, maybe I should have thought that through a little more. At least I'd had the sense not to stick around and get slugged again.

_( You've lost your touch. And you didn't have much of one to start with. Think about it. You didn't notice Shepard was out of it. You didn't even consider it until Liara mentioned it.)_

_)It was pretty obvious she'd be upset, so why would a bother looking for signs of something I already knew?(_

_( Ok then, explain how Liara was able to surprise you.)_

I gritted my teeth, willing the thing to speed up. _) Maybe Shepard is rubbing off on her.(_

_(….You realize how that sounded, right?)_

_)Shit. That wasn't intentional. This time. Point is, They moved a lot faster than in the game, since I was out of it for almost a week that didn't exist in game. (_

_(Precisely. It was your doing. And yet you still don't fully believe that you can warp reality.)_

_) Uh, yeah I do genius. That was established when I got a certain do-whatever-the-hell-I-want-and-get-away-with-it badge.(_

_(Couldn't you have just said that you were made Spectre?)_

_) Whatever silver. What are you saying?(_

_(Hmmph. How you were able to craft a genius like me is beyond my comprehension. If you warp reality, you must have some form of control, correct?)_

I didn't see where he was going with this, but that at least made sense. _) Makes about as much sense as anything. If there wasn't control, I'd be affecting the fabric of time and space every time I so much as sneezed.(_

_( You've already shown some levels of control by your conversations with others. Almost like choosing from a dialogue wheel)_

_)Are you actually working up to a point here, or are you just further establishing your insanity?(_

_(If you actually believe that you warp reality, then why did you even bother hesitating about letting Liara come along?)_

I was brought up short by his answer.

_( Exactly. Most of the time, you can only control it subconsciously. It isn't just that you programed it before hand, though that has a part in it. You're bending reality to how you view it. You would've had "Raptor" romance Liara to spare her the horror of Kaiden's demise. Kinda like what's already happened….hint hint….You automatically choose the armor you were most used to seeing Tali in. You even arrived with the equipment you were most used to. So why would it be possible for Liara to die on a simple side-stop if it never happened in game?)_

It took every ounce of will I had, but I managed to block him out. His words hit like bullets though. Though every bit of me hated it, he was right. _There must be some way to control it. If a single stray thought took over… No, I can't even think about it that far._

The elevator doors slid open, and I walked out in a hurry, wanting any company but his.

"No, that one won't work, try this one."

"Tali, I told you I don't need the help" Garrus replied. I turned and saw Tali standing by the Mako. I was confused a moment, then saw him slide out from under the thing. Then I realized the state of the tank and my jaws dropped. _Christ, what the hell happened to it?_

It was beat up, the paint was destroyed in some places, and it looked like a heap of junk.

I walked over, shaking my head. "Did Shepard already get behind the wheel when I wasn't looking?"

Garrus wiped some oil of his Armor with a rag. "I don't even think this thing can run right now. I'm just trying to get it back in one piece before we hit the planet in a few hours."

"And yet you're refusing help. If you can't fix it alone, you're just going to make it worse." Tali put in. She had her arms crossed, but she sounded…amused? I wondered at that a bit, but I didn't think much of it.

"She has a point Garrus. Damn though, I can see why those other guys would rather have had gotten the new one and gotten rid of this one."

Garrus turned to me. "You realize you have pretty much no idea what you're talking about, right?"

"I know enough not to refuse help when it's offered."

Garrus sighed.

Tali glanced at me, then back at him. "Garrus, stop being an idiot and just let me help you."

I chuckled. "Before I have to make it an order."

Garrus looked at me. "You don't play fair, do you _Lt._?"

It just made me laugh. "Hey, that's what you get for pissing off the guy in charge. Next time, keep your comments about my weapons to yourself." I chuckled. "Especially the guy that buys the armor and could and would get you armor as pink as Ashley's"

"Alright, fine. Just stick to your side, and I'll work on mine." He grumbled. He didn't even seem to notice the part about getting him pink armor. _Huh, maybe that isn't such a good threat for Turians. Or maybe he's just distracted with this heap of junk._

Tali shook her head. " I still think you're being stubborn, but alright."

She activated her Omni-Tool, looking like she was running some sort of diagnostic.

I just smiled and went over to where Ashley was working on the guns.

"Oh, and before I go… I saw that Bourne guy you're serving with on the news. He's a hunk…later sis." I stopped in my tracks, realizing she was using a comm channel to talk to one of her sisters.

Ashley must have heard my breath of surprise, because she wheeled around to face me. She glanced at me, then at the comm channel guiltily. "Please tell me you didn't hear that."

"Ok, I didn't hear that. Especially that not that part about me."

Ashley slugged me on the arm, though thankfully not as hard as Shepard. "Very funny _lieutenant."_

I chuckled despite myself. "For the love of… whose ass do I have to kiss to get a higher rank?" I ended up laughing by the end despit myself.

She rolled her eyes. "That's always going to be a sore spot for you, isn't it?"

"Maybe I can just forget the rank and go with the Spectre Status. 'Agent Bourne.' Yeah, I sorta like the sound of that."

Ashley chuckled. "You don't take anything seriously, do you?"

I thought about Virmire and shook my head. "Believe me, I do." I answered solemly. "But not when I don't have to." I added with a smirk.

"Hey, you still started off as Lt. That's not too bad. It took me forever just to hit Gunnery Chief."

"Why is that?" I faux-asked, already knowing the answer.

"I've got a lot of work right now, but maybe we can talk later." She went back to the guns, trying to brush it off.

I was still miffed at Iron, so I took a risk I wouldn't normally have taken. "You brushed me off last time I asked why you were still a lower rank, so I'm guessing it's something you don't like to talk about."

"Well, knowing you, you probably wouldn't really care…seeing as you were practically raised by aliens… My grandfather was General Williams, the commander of Shanxi. Aka, the only human to ever surrender to an Alien race."

I kept my face carefully neutral between surprised, and irritated. "I guess I can see why that'd get you black listed. How is that so many people higher up, have IQ scores in the low zones?"

She shrugged. "It takes a special type of thick headed to march into a job where your whole family is black listed." She smiled slightly. "Did it anyway."

"I think I can relate. Not too many people are happy having me in charge, considering my former profession" I lied.

"I suppose not. Either way, I'm still glad to have you watching my six. Just so long as you aren't staring at my six."

_Now I know how Shepard feels when I bring up Liara_ "I'll have to work on being more discreet if you've noticed." I joked.

She slugged my other arm. "You know that I'm very good at marine hand-to-hand, right?"

I rubbed my arm. "Yeah, I can see that." I snapped my fingers, letting my Biotics flare along my arm. "But personally, I'll stick with this for up close and personal." I shrugged, letting the field fade away. "Or a Shotgun, or my knives, or a rock, or whatever works."

I turned to go, but she put an arm on my shoulder, stopping me. "That reminds me, I'm manning the guns when we get there."

It took me a sec to figure out what she meant. "So I forfeited the arm wrestling when I wasn't looking? It struck me that maybe Ashley wouldn't be the best member to complement Shepard, Liara and me. "But…I'm not sure that you'll be the one coming with this time."

She spun me around. "Why not?

I rubbed my neck, unsure how to best explain. "Long story short: Liara convinced Shepard to let her come along on this little trek. Which means that we're pretty good in terms of Combat, and Biotics. As for Tech…" I motioned my head to where Garrus and Tali were working on the Mako.

She stared at my for a moment. "Wait, you're letting Liara come with you on a combat mission?"

"No, Shepard is. I just don't feel like trying to talk them out of it."

She shook her head. "Why do either of you think that's a good idea?"

I turned my head to the side, trying to come up with an answer. _It's pretty obvious why Shepard would be so easily swayed, but how do I explain me?_ I turned my head back.

"Why do you think it isn't a good idea?" I said, reasoning it'd be harder for her to come up with an answer than me.

She answered almost immediately. "Do you really think you can trust her?"

_(Wow. Just wow. How did you not see that coming?)_

I ignored Iron and use the same trick as before. "Why shouldn't I trust her?"

"I really hate to give the council credit, but her mother-"

"Is someone she hasn't spoken to in years. Shepard trusts her. That's enough for me."

"How are you so sure that Shepard trusts her?"

I rolled my eyes. "I dunno, maybe because they melded minds and she didn't find anything suspicious? Or maybe it has to do with the fact that they're…" I trailed off, motioning with a hand.

It took her a sec to figure out. "Wait, you mean the skipper and Tsoni… are in a relationship? You weren't just joking before?"

"Now what would give you the impression that I joke around?"

She slugged me on the shoulder. "Look, how do you know that she isn't-"

"You know that Asari mind control is just a myth?"

"But her motivations might not be."

"Have you spent time around them? It looks like they're using every bit of self-control to keep from…damnit, now it's going to take me forever to get that image out of my head."

"Don't be getting any funny ideas."

"Don't worry. Blue isn't my color. "

"I'll remember that next time I'm buying armor. Or maybe I'll find some on this little excursion. "

"When did I say you were coming with?"

"When you say I wasn't?" she used my own strategy against me.

I just rolled my eyes and went to see if there was anything I could do to help with the mako.

Turned out that Garrus wouldn't let me get closer than five feet from the dame thing. Tali was less dismissive about it, but she didn't seem to want the help either. I noticed that Garrus kept sneaking glances at Tali, and she was also sneaking a few at him. I couldn't read turians that well though, and Tali was even harder to read.

I eventually gave up and went up a level to get some shut eye.

* * *

><p>Luckily, by the time we got there, the two of them had managed to get the Mako looking somewhat respectable.<p>

I still had to fight back nausea when we landed. Liara somehow managed better than I did, though I wasn't sure how. I was actually glad to let Ashley take the guns.

I manned navigation. Which meant I didn't have to do much since Hacket had told us exactly where on the planet it was. I just sat back for a few minutes while Shepard drove, and tried not to puke all over the controls. I saw that we were there, and opened my mouth to tell Shepard.

Suddenly, the Mako flipped on its side, and I heard shouting outside. I quickly shut my mouth again, hoping to keep my lunch down. The tank rolled down a hill, coming to a stop with a sudden crash. My world was turned sideways, and I realized the tank had landed on its side.

Shepard groaned from up front. "No offense to you two, but I really hate Biotics right now."

I unstrapped myself from my seat, falling into a combat roll. "Don't worry. I think they're about to hate Biotics too." I found the door hatch, which didn't want to open.

Shepard helped Liara out of her seat, and then readied her assault rifle.

"Problems?" She asked sarcastically.

I answered by blowing the door open with my powers. "Nope, I'm good." I said with a smirk. "Can't say the same for those guys though." I pulled myself out of the Mako, my mind quickly taking in the layout of the area. A big round bunker in the middle and crates all over the place. And a sniper with his laser pointed right at my head. I jumped clear, cushioning my landing with my Biotics.

I landed in front of a very surprised merc. I flicked a knife into my hand and slit his throat before he even drew his gun. One of his buddies rounded a corner, and he was actually smart enough to have his gun aimed at me. But he wasn't smart enough to duck when I sent the knife flying at his head. His eyes rolled up, and he fell to the ground. I recalled and stored the knife, then reached around and drew my shotgun.

I heard a gun being cocked behind me, and I spun around, only to see the merc collapse thanks to Shepard's well placed sniper round. I was the only one down in the middle of them. Shepard was hanging back, picking targets. Liara and Ashley were circling the compound, using their abilities in junction to bring thugs down.

I shook my head, focusing myself again. A Krogan suddenly rounded the corner with a pair of turians. The Krogan charged at me, only to be stopped by my desperately hurled singularity. He hung in the air, as I focused on the enemies that weren't helpless. My shotgun took one in the face, but missed the other one, who rolled out of the way just in time. I wasn't dumb enough to walk around into his trap, so I turned my attention back to the Krogan. I turned, and was thrown backwards. The singularity blinked out of existence, and he dropped to the ground.

_Ughh. Shepard was right. Fighting enemy Biotics sucks. _I groaned as I pulled myself to my feet. The Krogan didn't try charging again, instead flinging a warp field at me. I put up a Biotic Barrier and they canceled out. I let go of my Shotgun with my right hand, reaching for my avenger as I put away my Shotgun with the other hand. I had my assault rifle ready to bring around, my Shotgun collapsed and ready to be stored, when pain exploded in my left arm, and both weapons fell from my hands.

The sniper's round tore through my shields and armor, and only just missed the bone. As it was, the arm was now useless. I grit my teeth, forcing myself to stay on my feet. The Krogan raised his rifle, ready to finish me off. I felt a surge of anger, of pain and rage, and the world seemed to slow around me. I rushed at him, striking him with enough force to knock him into a nearby crate. I didn't even stop to think how it happened, but I did it again, knocking him to the ground.

My pistol flew into my hand, and I fired explosive rounds into his head until it overheated. I dropped it and turned to face my other adversary. The Turian watched, frozen, then raised his gun at me. I grabbed the gun out of his hands, flinging over the cliff.

He had the sense to try and run, but I pulled him to me, and grabbed his head. Ignoring my uselessly swinging left arm, I grabbed his head, and rammed it into a nearby crate. His skull spilt, and blue blood painted the area. I heard movement behind me, and turned to the sound, right as the merc took a shot to the head and fell off the cliff. Shepard was still watching my back.

"Jason, are you ok?" Ashley's voice brought me out of my rage, and pain that had been blocked out suddenly surged through me.

I collapsed on my knees, drained both by pain and exhaustion from my Biotics. Ashley rushed over, Shepard and Liara following.

"Are you ok?" Ashley repeated worriedly.

"Do I have to answer that?" I groaned, clutching my arm.

Shepard kneelt down next to me. "Move your hand so I can take a look."

I complied, and she swiftly removed the upper arm piece. She also had the sense to remove the gloves and gauntlet of knives so I couldn't activate them by accident.

I winced as she applied the medi-gel.

"It didn't hit bone, but it definitely went through the muscle" She said

I grimaced. "If that means it's supposed to hurt like hell and leave me barely able to move the damn thing, then I'd say you're right."

She handed me the armor components, and I put them back on. I got to my feet. "What happened to your other weapons?" She asked me.

"I dropped them when I got shot. They should be somewhere over there." I pointed with my good hand. Shepard glanced at Liara, and the Asari went to get them.

"Jason, are you sure you're good for combat?"

"No. But I'm not going to let you three have all the fun." I replied. I saw my pistol still lying on the ground, and I sent it into my hand. "Come on, let's get in there before I wise up and change my mind."

Liara came walking back. "Here are your other weapons. I think."

I glanced at them, and saw that were the right ones. "Thanks." _How did she manage to find the ones that are mine though? There must have been other weapons. Oh, right, warping the universe._

I didn't bother trying to store them with only one good hand. I just activated my Biotics and stored them that way.

Shepard went to open the door. Something nagged at the back of my mind, but for once it wasn't Iron. Then it hit me. It had been Iron. I had Biotically charged. _Iron saved my life!_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard led the way into the compound, Ashley following behind her, shotgun at the ready. Liara and Bourne hung back, ready to assist with Biotics, but not much up for actual combat.

She paused as she entered the first room, seeing a corpse on the floor.

"Well, I'd say we have more idiots in here to deal with." Bourne commented. He still seemed kind of out of it though, which was probably because of the pain. Medigel was good for patching wounds in the field, but Chakwas would have to look at something like that.

Shepard kneelt and closed his eyes. She noticed a weapons locker of some sort against the wall, and despite herself went over to try hacking it. Mindoir hadn't been the most advanced place though, so she wasn't great at hacking like this. She swore as she crossed a wrong circuit and the crate locked down. _That's why I became a soldier instead of an infiltrator. _

She heard Bourne approaching behind her, his stealth lessened by his injury. "Issues?"

"The stupid thing locked me out."

He raised his right arm. "Let me try my key." Shepard quickly got out of his way and he warped the front open.

Shepard shook her head. "Can't call you subtle, but you definitely get results."

He simply walked over to where Ash and Liara were waiting by the door. Shepard could tell his injury was troubling him, as he didn't have some smart ass reply. He looked lost in thought, _probably trying not to pass out from the pain. He doesn't have that adrenaline rush he got back on Therum. _

She turned to the crate, and saw a collapsed set of armor. She scanned it, and saw that it was a set of phoenix heavy armor. _No way am I wearing pink armor. I'll just look again when we head back to the citadel. Or talk to the req officer on the Normandy._

She tossed it to Ashley, who went into the hall to change armors. Bourne still seemed lost in thought, seeing as he didn't make some joke about if she wanted to change here.

Ashley came back a moment later, looking almost unchanged since it was the same brand of armor. But the heavy plating made sure that she wouldn't be taking any bullets like Bourne had.

Shepard led the way through the hallway, and found herself in a large room with crates strewn about randomly.

She scanned the room with her assault rifle, her radar showing plenty of contacts.

A Krogan suddenly came rushing at them, then was sent back into a wall with a sickening crack.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love being right about hostiles? Cause if I haven't, there's a good reason." Bourne deadpanned as he warped another Krogan. He and Shepard focused on taking down Krogan, while Ashley and Liara dealt with the other species.

Shepard moved to take cover behind a crate, and Bourne mirrored the move on the other side, pistol at the ready.

They rounded their respective corners and were engaged by about a dozen mercenaries. Bourne sent a singularity into them on his side, while Shepard tried something new. She manipulated a control and turned a spread of rounds into a single explosive blast, scattering the mercs. Bourne stored his Pistol, _on his right side_ Shepard noticed detachedly, focused on her own battles.

The three that were closest fell quickly, then the gun overheated, forcing Shepard to duck behind cover. She switched to her shotgun, waiting for them to get closer. All she heard was gunfire directed at Bourne, then it stopped. She heard a single distinctive explosive shot from Bourne's pistol, and she risked a peak around the corner and saw that all seven that had been left were dead. Bourne leaned against a crate, panting heavily. "So how's your day going? Mine is kinda sucking."

* * *

><p><strong>Back to Bourne. <strong>

_Iron saved me. _I still couldn't wrap my mind around the idea. I was aware we had entered the base, but it was like being an outside observer. Even when we found a corpse on the floor when we walked in. I just made a comment about there being more hostiles like this happened every day.

Shepard kneelt to close his eyes, while I just watched dispassionately. _I still don't understand. Why would Iron save me? His goal is to get me killed. _For once, I was annoyed when he stayed silent. _Unless he wants me to figure it out on my own? That seems like the sort of dick move that he'd pull. _

"Son of a Bitch!" Shepard swore. I walked over to where she was, and saw that she'd failed to hack a weapon's crate.

I could tell that she'd heard me, but at that point I really didn't care. "Issues?" I asked sarcastically.

"The stupid thing locked me out." She replied.

I just rolled my eyes. "Let me try my key." I said, activating my Biotics. Shepard quickly got out of my way as I warped it open. I fought to keep my face composed when I saw the crate hadn't been the only thing to get warped. _The same armor I always got for Ashley. My powers coming into play again? Huh, don't know why I'm bothering to ask. _

Shepard made some comment, but I wasn't paying attention. I stayed lost in contemplation until I saw Shepard moving into the next room. It took me a full ten seconds to realize Ashley had switched to the heavier armor.

Shepard stopped, raising her rifle, scanning the room. I could see on my own HUD that there was a mass of them. _Which I should know anyway from the game! Focus!_ I berated myself.

A Krogan's war cry brought me back to reality. It charged at Shepard, only for me to send it into the wall hard enough to kill even something as tough as him. Another tried the same thing, but the rest wised up when I warped that one into dust.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love being right about hostiles? Cause if I haven't, there's a good reason." I joked as I warped it. It came out more as a deadpan though. By unspoken agreement the two of us focused on the toughest enemies and left the thugs for Liara and Ashley.

Shepard took cover behind a crate and I mirrored the move on the other side. I held my pistol ready, but when I got down to it I'd be more likely to use my Biotics.

We rounded our respective corners and were engaged by about a dozen mercenaries. I just flicked my wrist and sent a singularity into the group. Luckily I had a good grip on my pistol so it wasn't pulled from my hand as I launched the still-forming ball of dark matter. Another flick launched a pair of knives from the back of my wrists like a mini spear gun.

Shepard's shotgun fired a burst like a cannon and knocked several of them apart. _That's one way to spread carnage_ I thought with a mild grin. I stored my pistol, using the spot on the right so I'd be able to grab it faster.

Shepard took down a trio before she was forced to pull back and let her weapon cool. I focused on the seven left now. I lifted two into the air, and slammed them into the ground, taking them out.

I ducked behind cover as they opened fire. I took a breath to focus myself and wrapped myself in a protective barrier. I flicked my wrist and sent several knives floating around my arm. I burst from cover and launched them. Three found their marks, but the others were only flesh wounds. One of them pulled one out and threw it back. I just caught it midair and launched it through his eye. "Nice try" I muttered to myself, trying to refocus . The last one drew his own knife and rushed me. I caught him midway in stasis. I left him there a moment, getting my second wind. I grabbed the pistol from my side, then raised it to his head and canceled the Biotics as I pulled the trigger. My explosive round made one powerful boom and then there was silence. Shepard poked her head out from behind the crate and stared at the corpses.

I leaned against a crate, panting heavily, my Biotics more draining than usual. "So how's your day going? Mine is kinda sucking." I dead panned.

"Hey, I'm guessing their day's been worse" Ashley answered.

"At least that's all of them." Shepard said, storing her rifle. I did the same with my pistol, but again stored on the right where it was quicker to get to.

Liara seemed to be avoiding the sight of the corpses. Shepard led the way through another hallway. We opened the door at the end, and we saw a single merc, holding a scientist hostage. At least that's what it must have looked like to Shepard.

"Stay back! I don't want to hurt you! All I want is this Bastard's head."

It would be fair to say that the scientist looked ready to piss himself. "Mr. Toombs, you're insane! You need help!" he pleaded. It might have been funny under different circumstances.

But not with Shepard's reaction. "Toombs?" She whispered to herself, taking a closer look at the mercenary's face under his helmet.

"Shut up!" He shouted, bringing his gun closer to the scientist's face. "You don't get to lie! You don't get to…" He glanced at us as he said this, and he stopped mid-sentence as he took a second look at Shepard's face.

"Shepard? My god, is that you?"

Shepard took a step forward, her feet moving her of their own accord. She looked like she was an inch away from freezing up in shock. "But it can't be! You died on Akuze! I saw the Thresher Maw pull you under with my own eyes."

Toombs was clearly just as surprised as Shepard. "They took me Shepard. The scientists."

The scientist seemed to lean back from the gun, but he didn't move. "You can't prove any of this! This man is delusional!"

My arm throbbed with pain, and I was more than happy to take it out on the scum bag. I drew my pistol, grateful for the easier acess. "You're a horrible liar, you know that? I can't stand liars. So if you don't want me to up and blow your head off myself, put a cork in it!" He quickly shut up, staring between me and Toombs. He must have been smart, because he seemed more worried about me. "Smart move." I said as I put it back.

Toombs glared at him, then turned back to us. "They were studying the Thresher Maws, running test on them. They let them hit us just to watch and take notes." He dropped his gaze, lost in memories. " I woke up in cell. They used me to run additional tests. They were delighted I'd survived."

I snapped my fingers and let my Biotics activate. I pretended to study them, looking right at the Scientist. "You know something odd? That little trick you guys pulled with luring soldiers into a nest? It's strange, somebody did the same thing to us not too long ago. Pretty big coincidence, don't you agree?" I growled, fixing the scientist in my burning gaze.

He stared at me with wide eyes. "You can't possible believe him!"

Shepard finally found her voice again. "Toombs, I didn't see you. I didn't see anybody. I swear I'd have come back for you if I had." If I didn't know her better, I'd have said she was close to tears. I had never seen her like this. From how Liara was looking at her, even she had never seen Shepard like this.

"He has no proof! I demand a fair trial!" the scientist pleaded.

"You want a trial? Well people in Hell want ice-cream. Doesn't mean they get it." I almost snarled the last part.

"She was there you Bastard! She knows you're lying, and so does he." Toombs shouted

"If you drop the act, I might consider going easy on you." I added.

"_Don't_. He and the others I killed were part of some secret organization called Cerberus. This isn't the first time they've run tests like this. You treated me like a lab animal you bastard!" he shoved the gun even further into the Scientist's face. "This man deserves to die, you know that Shepard. For you, for me, for everybody else in the unit." He turned his head to look straight at her. "Are you with me, or with him?"

I held my right hand up, seeing as the other one wasn't cooperating. "Toombs, think about this. Don't do anything you're going to regret." I realized that Shepard had said the same.

"The only thing I regret is that I couldn't do this sooner. Are you with me?"

Shepard shook her head. "Toombs, you're better than this. You weren't like them on Akuze, don't become like them now."

"Don't tell me what I am. You got away with a few scratches-" Shepard raised a hand to the scar near her eye involuntarily. She brushed the one on her chin as she lowered her hand. "And a reputation!" He finished. "The rest of the unit died, and I was tortured for years. You don't have the right to judge me, any of you."

"Toombs, I would have help you Akuze if I could have. The only thing I can do is help you now." She stepped closer. "Let me help you. Please."

He hesitated, then dropped the gun. "You're right, I'm no murderer. Even these Bastards couldn't make me into one. Just as long as he goes to trial." He took a step back, like the scientist was a poisonous snake. He raised his hands to his head, removing his helmet and dropping it on the ground. It came to rest at the scientist's feet. He put his hands against his head. "Maybe the Screaming will stop now. I don't know."

Shepard reassuring put a hand on his shoulder. "Those Bastards aren't going to hurt you anymore." She raised a hand to her ear piece, telling Joker to signal for pickup, then come and get us and the Mako.

I kept my attention on Dr. Cerberus. "NO! I won't be locked up!" He made a break for the exit, but Liara made sure he didn't get far thanks to a stasis field.

I drew my gun. "Liara, end the Stasis" I said. The scientist drew back from me. I aimed a round between his feet. A stain spread across his pants. I put the gun away, liking the easier access if it was stored on my right thigh. "You try running again, and you won't be running ever, cause you'll be missing a foot" I stated. He stared at me, then sat down on the ground, clearly not going to try it again.

_(hmm. Not how I would have handled it, but not bad. The threat was a nice touch, but then again it always is.)_

_)Why did you let me charge and save my life?( _ I demanded of him.

_( That's for me to know, and for you to figure out. Just don't expect to happen again.)_ he withdrew before I could question him further. I shook my head, focusing on what was going on now. _I'll drag it out of him later. _Shepard walked towards the door, and I motioned the scientist to do the same. He stood up, and tensed like he was going to run. I drew my gun, aiming for his feet. He quickly reconsidered and calmly walked over to the door. I gave him a good shove, sending him tumbling forwards. He turned back to glare at me, but when I raised my gun, he gulped and kept walking. It wasn't hard to play bad cop. I was pissed at Iron, and at this Bastard. But mostly at myself.

_How can we work with these Bastards later on?_ I asked myself. I shook my head. _Then again, we have to die first. If I'm lucky, I can bend reality a little and avoid that._

_(When are you ever lucky?)_

He fled again before I could question him, leaving me more annoyed than ever.

* * *

><p><em>…So, it is my recommendation that the scientist in question be guarded heavily, in case this "Cerberus" decided to come after him instead of letting their operation be compromised.<em>

_I also wish that Toombs be give amnesty given what was done to him. It is more than possible that he was driven insane by their experiments. _

_Agent Bourne, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance_

I took a quick look over my report, making sure I didn't let a curse slip in.

"And, sent." I muttered as I put away the data pad, wincing as my arm flared again. Chakwas had switched and cleaned the wound, but I wasn't supposed to fight or anything for a bit. She had offered to give me something for the pain, but would have killed my Biotics too. I declined, but she didn't argue, much to my relief.

I just leaned back,; glad I could do it on an actual bed this time. Shepard had given me the Captain's quarters, since she said it she never used it now. She still got the locker across the way, but I didn't really mind. I was trying to avoid that area anyway. She had tried hiding where she was sleeping, but Liara had already given up the game earlier.

I didn't press her though; she'd been through enough for one day. That's why I had offered to write the Report for Admiral Hacket instead of her. She was probably being *comforted* by Liara.

We were still about six hours out from the citadel, then we'd go after Nassana's sister. Or Shepard would, since I was stuck here. But for once, the lack of action sounded good to me.

I had been fighting non-stop since I got here. I needed a real break. I propped my left arm against a pillow, then activated the Omni-Tool. I smiled when I scrolled to a familiar program. I had only downloaded the game a few minutes ago, but I had been pretty good back in 2012.

I moved a red Jack onto a black queen. _Not the same as with real cards, but Solitaire is still better than getting shot at._

**Ok, I said I was going to do another chapter after this one, but I just don't have the energy to write another chapter where I have to wrack my brain for ideas. I'm just going to put a sort of mention of Nassana in, and go straight to Feros. I'll do the other Cereberus Missions after. **

**I just want to say thanks for supporting this thing. I never imagined it would actually get reviews and compliments like this. It was mostly a weird idea I came up with when someone else messed up in their own SI. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction."**

**BTW, did anybody catch the reference I put in the disclaimer?**


	31. Feros

**Ok, I'm just going to go ahead and say it, just so people stop asking about it. No Tali/ Bourne, and no Shepard/Bourne. Neither one is happening. But, I'm going to do two versions of the sequel. One before ME3 comes out, and one after so I can know what I'm walking into. And then a threequel for each version. That might change my mind then.  
>And who knows? I might go back and do a third version starting on Eden Prim again. But for now, just get over the idea that those Romances won't happen. Much as I'd like to explore those possibilities, they have to stay on the back burner.<strong>

**Also, just want to point out that the beginning of this chapter is a flashback. **

**I don't own…yeah I'm not even going to bother this time. It's just too hard to keep coming up with Jokes. If you still want a joke, go look in a mirror. Hah hah, I'm kidding. Not. Or maybe I actually am. You never know.**

* * *

><p>"By the Spirits! What did you do to this thing?" Garrus exclaimed when the Mako was brought on board.<p>

"Hey, Shepard was the one driving" Bourne pointed out with a chuckle. Shepard rolled her eyes and walked over to the destroyed tank. She pointed at the door. "And I suppose you didn't do this either?"

Bourne shrugged. "How do you know it was me and not your favorite Asari?"

Shepard's hand twitched towards her gun involuntarily. Bourne was annoying enough when she was in a good mood. But after what had happened…Shepard had always wished that there would be someone to blame for the massacre at Akuze, that there were other survivors somewhere, but no like that.

Shepard shook her head. "Gee I don't know, maybe the fact that I saw you blast the damn thing off?"

Bourne just turned and opened up his locker to store his armor and gear. Shepard noticed that now he always kept his pistol on him, and he usually kept the knife he'd taken from the Batarian on the citadel on him as well. She'd have questioned it before, but looking at him, she found that it fit him perfectly. He didn't take risks often, and when he did it was hardly a risk at all.

Shepard left Garrus to try to restore some semblance of actually working to the tank. She noticed that Tali joined him, but he didn't complain like she might have guessed. He actually seemed pleased to have Tali's company. Shepard didn't know though; she'd never been great at reading Turians.

Shepard went upstairs to store her gear, and Bourne rode up with her. Bourne leaned against the wall like he always did, but Shepard noticed tension in his face.

"That wound bugging you still?" She asked.

Bourne rolled his eyes. "No of course not. I get shot every day." His tone practically dripped sarcasm.

"You should probably talk to Chakwas about it."

"You think?"

Shepard glared at him. She could handle him being annoying, or threating to enemies, but he was never rude like this. "Something on your mind?"

Bourne looked away far too quickly for Shepard to believe him when he said no.

"You realize you aren't fooling me?"

Bourne hesitated, then said "Did you actually see what I did to that Krogan?"

Shepard shook her head. "I saw that you were a good distance away from him one second, then right on top of him the next."

Bourne clenched a fist, his Biotics flaring for a moment. Shepard doubted that he even noticed. "I always heard it being called a Biotic Charge. Something I learned from… someone I wish I never met."

"The merc gang? On Omega?"

"Yeah. I can only do it… I don't really know how I can trigger it. But that's what happened out there. Not once, but twice." He looked at the ground. "I don't know how to control it, and I don't remember how I did it. I hate this feeling of not having control. Even if I'm doing things I'd rather not, like what happened with Talitha," Shepard grit her teeth even now. She knew that Bourne had done the best he could, but it still wasn't what she'd wished had happened.

Bourne went on. "Even then, I'm in control. But during that Charge, I lose all touch with the outside world besides my target. Even when it's over, for a few minutes, I still end up with only one setting: kill. If it happened at the wrong time…" he raised his hands to his head. "I don't even want to think about what could happen." He sighed, and shook his head. "Sorry, I just needed to vent." Bourne crossed his arms, looking concerned. "How are you holding up?"

Shepard still was a bit annoyed at him, but he had a good reason to be more aggressive than usual. And he had had the courtesy to ask about her. "I don't know. It all seems like a dream, just not really believable. I never thought..." she trailed off.

Bourne nodded in understanding. "You want me to write the report? You look like you just need to rest for a bit." He opened his mouth to say more, then bit his tongue. Shepard could guess why.

"You sure?"

"I doubt Chakwas is going to let me out of bed for a while anyway. Not like I'll have better things to do in the med bay." Shepard fought to keep her expression neutral. _No way would I be able to sneak into Liara and I's room without him noticing this time._

Shepard thought about giving him Anderson's old room, like she had before. _On one hand he might ask about why I don't want it and figure out that Liara and I are living together. Then again, if he always sees me sneaking in there, he'll figure it out anyway._

She figured it was worth a shot. "Actually, I'd been meaning to talk to you about something related. You want the Captain's quarters since I never us it?"

Bourne's head shot up in shock. The look on his face was almost comical. He was never surprised like this, and he hardly ever showed any surprise at all anyway. He recovered pretty quickly though. "You sure? You're still technically CO, not me. And where would you be sleeping inste-"

"So is that a yes or a no?" Shepard asked hurriedly, cutting him off.

He grinned and said yes. Shepard wondered if he knew anyway, but she doubted it, especially since he didn't press the issue. The way he was smirking though… She was just glad he kept his mouth shut. She wasn't in a mood to deal with that after today.

She didn't have anything left to move out of the room, so Bourne was able to move right in. Shepard went to her own room with Liara, where all of her own personals where already.

She sat down on the bed, knowing that Liara wouldn't be back for a bit. She leaned her head down and let the tears she'd held back fall. Liara found her still like that a little while later. Her lover just sat down with Shepard and held her until she cried herself to sleep. Liara tucked her in, and climbed in beside her, one arm draped over her. She felt a slight rustling of her hair as Liara kissed her, and she smiled in her sleep as Liara fell asleep beside her.

* * *

><p><strong>Back to Bourne and back to more slightly more present times. With some occasional flashbacks.<strong>

I felt a slight pain as I slid the armor onto my left arm, but it was only there for a second, so I didn't even wince. Chakwas definitely knew what she was doing. Only 48 hours after being shot, and there wasn't even a hole now. I'd have a nice scar, but I didn't care too much.

It had been a shock when I looked in my new mirror though. I had gone to look at the scar, and I had been glad no one had been around. I hadn't seen my face much and it was still a bit of a shock to see how I looked now. But I took one look at my wild haircut and decided to change it. An appointment with a razor later and I was left with a more militarian buzz cut. A few people had asked about it- Tali had even asked if my hair fell out because I was sick, and I'd had to fight back laughter- but for the most part nobody had really batted any eye. Ashley had just smiled and said I looked better like this. _It's a bit sad that my biggest problem was about my looks_ I thought with a small grin as I reloaded my knife supply.

It had actually been a bit of relief to just sit back and let Shepard deal with things for a bit. She had taken Wrex and Ashley to *rescue* Nassana's sister. She had been pissed when it turned out that she'd been the slaver the whole time, not the hostage like Nassana had claimed. But she had the sense to stay calm and managed to get Nassana to get her access to some special Asari bio-amps and Omni-Tools.

I wanted to tear what was left of my hair out when I had to talk Tali into the new Omni-tool, but she had eventually accepted it. _At least she didn't fight over the new Armor. _ I thought to myself, glancing over at her. She looked much different with the layer of red material stretched over her visor to improve its defense, not to mention the different red/black color scheme. She looked different, and yet she looked more like herself in my eyes. It was a paradox that was only possible because of me, and being from another reality.

Shepard and I had agreed that for a mission like this, with so many unknowns- _for everybody but me at least_-the squad we'd used on Therum would be best. Ashley was good at medium range and Shepard was an expert at long range- or really any range. _And if I had even brought up bringing Liara, Shepard would have given me a scar to match the one on the left._ Tali was the Tech expert and good with her Shotgun at close range. _And it doesn't take a genius to know that I'm a bad ass Biotic Tank. _That meant that it wouldn't make sense to bring Wrex or Garrus on something like this, seeing as their niches were already filled. I looked over at Ashley, glad that she at least looked the same. The slightly different plating design didn't change much about her. 

"Are you ready to go yet?" Shepard asked, stepping out of the Elevator. I studied her from the corner of my eye. She didn't have bags under her eyes, or the look that would mean she was hiding emotions. _Liara must have helped her more than I thought. _I smiled, glad that Shepard had found at least that much happiness in this crazy life she'd ended up with.

"Has anybody ever told you how impatient you are Shepard?"

"Nobody that's still alive to talk about it." She answered with a smirk. I wouldn't have called her cold before, but since finding Liara, she had been more open with her emotions. She'd also become more of a joker; the result of spending so much time around me. Or maybe we were just more alike then we knew.

I rolled my eyes and double checked my weapons before I stored them. I especially made sure my Pistol's ammo block was good for a while. Having it on my right easier to grab meant that I used it more than I had in the past, so I needed it in top form.

The elevator ride passed in silence. Nobody could think of anything to say. Shepard and the others were thinking about they what might find that could have caused the colony to drop out of contact. I was trying to figure out why I hadn't heard from Iron since his comment about luck and my powers. In a way I was glad to be finally left alone with my own thoughts, but knowing him he was scheming for some way to kill me.

I forced myself back to the present, knowing I'd have a fight on my hands. We walked out the Airlock, and I immediately took in the surrounding area. We were in an enclosed bunker that served as a dry-dock. Shepard led the way down the Narrow walkway, looking at ease. But I could tell she was ready to draw her gun at any moment. I slid several collapsed knives into my hand, ready to use them at the drop of a hat.

A single colonist was waiting for us. "We saw your ship. Fai Dan needs to talk to you immediately." He said without preamble. I narrowed my eyes. He seemed… odd. Like he was high, or drowsy.

I realized I was holding my breath, trying to avoid breathing in the Mind Controlling spores released from the Thorian. I forced myself to remain calm. I knew that the guy in front of me was doubtlessly collecting info for the plant monster, but if I said anything about this…_It'd be the same thing I realized a while back. Even if they believed me, there'd be no way to explain how I knew but the truth. And the truth would make me sound mental. That's assuming I'd even be able to talk about it. I can warp reality to a point, but I can't push it too far. _It was a bit hypocritical of me considering I'd looked for a way to avoid Kaiden or Shepard's deaths, but I ignored the thought and focused myself back on the conversation.

"Fai Dan is the leader of the colony. The Geth are making another push, and we need help to drive them off. He's up the stairs past the freighter." Time seemed to slow down as he finished the sentence. I saw a Geth rocket trooper aiming right at us. My body moved me back from the explosion of its own accord, leaving me able to do nothing but watch as the Rocket tore through the Colonist. I felt a surge of anger for not being able to save him, especially since I knew it was coming.

The blades popped out of the knives and I hurled them at the nearest Geth. Shepard's sniper rifle accounted for another one before they took cover behind the corner. My pistol flew into my hand, as my left swung up to support it. The first Geth to poke its flashlight head around the corner went down with a pair of explosive shots. I kept low as I moved along the walkway, using the corner for cover. Ashley took cover next to me, while Shepard kept her original position, ready to snipe at will.

I clenched my left fist, then rounded the corner, throwing my arm up; I lifted the crates the Geth had hidden behind. I launched a knife at the closest one. Shepard took down another one with a head shot, and Ashley finished off the last one with her assault rifle.

I saw something go flying by my ear and stick to a Geth. I realized a moment later that it was one of Tali's tech mines when the Geth turned on its ally, taking it down before it could react. It stayed frozen a moment, trying to recover from the effects, then Shepard scooped its head clean off its shoulders. She moved up, switching to her Assault rifle. I looked down at my pistol, then switched it for my own avenger.

As we moved forward, I noticed a red dot blinking on the edge of my vision. I focused on it and realized it was my radar; the Geth were jamming it.

I focused on searching for them. I didn't have to look long as one jumped in front of us, then onto a wall. Shepard took it down before it even had a chance to attack. My radar stayed jammed though, so I knew it had a friend. I spotted its flashlight shining from behind a corner, and threw a warp field its way, sending its remains to the ground. My radar cleared, showing that we were alone for the moment. I lowered my gun, but didn't store it, keeping it at the ready. The others followed my lead and did the same.

We walked through another tunnel and were greeted by armed guards, barricaded behind makeshift shields. They lowered their guns when they realized we weren't Geth. One of them waved us towards Fai Dan. Shepard took the lead again, and I let her. It was too much of a risk to assume that I would be able to act naturally towards the mind controlled colonists. I forced my breathing to stay steady and even, knowing that we wouldn't be exposed long enough to be infected. My warping abilities would guarantee that. _I just hope it'll also keep these people alive. I could always save them in the game…but this isn't a game._

I bit back a curse as we approached Fai Dan; the damn radar had jammed again.

Fai Dan took in our armor, and saw the red stripe of rank on Shepard's shoulder. " Oh, Commander. I'm glad they finally sent someone to help us."

His second in command was less grateful. "Aren't you a bit late?"

Fai Dan admonished her, and apologized to us. He was cut off midsentence by the now familiar warbling speech of Geth. I raised my rifle, cloaking myself in my powers and running forward into the Tower. I barely heard the warnings of Fai Dan and what's-her-face.

The Geth fired at me, but my Barrier kept my Shields from running out. I took aim and fired for an eye. The Geth went down as I turned to the Second. Shepard took it down before I was even fully facing it; she was a dead shot with any of her weapons.

More moved down the stairs, hiding behind hexagonal energy shields. I threw a singularity above them, lifting them into view. Shepard and Ashley took them down. I moved up, switching to my Shotgun. I had made the switch so many times I didn't even have to think about it now. One had managed to avoid the singularity, still hiding behind its shield. It turned to me as I blasted it apart. It collapsed to the ground, but I was already moving past it.

I turned a corner, up a smaller flight of stairs. Ashley and Shepard caught up to me, Tali only slightly behind them.

"Next time warn me before you run off like that." Shepard berated me.

I rolled my eyes, poking my head around to look at the opposition. We had entered a large room, with the ceiling open to the sky where a drop ship was hovering and offloading Geth. A Geth destroyer landed, aiming its weapons at us. I just waved my arm, flinging a piece of rock that was on the ground. The giant platform collapsed and we moved forward . The few remaining Geth were taken down in less than a minute, thanks to a well time singularity and powerful crossfire. The fact that Tali disabled their guns helped as well.

The Geth ship flew off, sensing a losing battle. I stood for a moment, letting my heart rate fall again. Shepard did the same.

"Looks like that's all of them. Good riddance." Tali said, putting away her Shotgun. The rest of us stored our own weapons.

Ashley turned to me. "So, are you ready to head for where the Geth are bunkered?"

I chuckled. "Thanks. If I say yes, I sound crazy, but if I say no, I sound like a chicken."

Shepard grinned wryly. "You sound insane most of the time anyway. Might as well stick with the Norm."

I didn't dignify that with a response. "We might want to wait on that for a minute. If I was the Geth, I'd be sure to have more down in the Tunnels, waiting to make a surprise attack on the colony."

Shepard nodded. "Couldn't hurt to check down there and make sure there aren't more." She led the way out, taking us past a Prothean elevator and down the stairs.

I moved past her, my potential barrier offering more protection than what she had. We moved down and into the tunnels. We moved across a bridge, me keeping an eye on my radar. I knew there'd be Geth down here, but the where wasn't solid.

Shepard got my attention. I looked at her, and she motioned towards an opening in the walls. I understood the need or silence pretty quickly. As I got closer, my radar filled with red dots. I readied my shotgun as I took cover behind a loose chunk of rock. A bullet pinged nearby, confirming the Geth presence. I threw a warp field over the stone blindly, and they opened, trying to wear through my cover and get to me. I waited for the fire to stop for a moment as they ejected and replaced heatsinks. I stood and threw them backwards with a wide wave of energy. Shepard moved up and took them down with a few sniper rounds.

We kept our weapons at the ready for another minute, then lowered them, ready to keep moving.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard<strong>

As Shepard lowered her sniper rifle, she noticed a piece of Machinery low on the floor. She bent down to take a closer look, and realized it was some sort of valve.

"Drop something?" Bourne asked with a smirk.

Shepard ignored him. "Tali, any idea what this is?"

Tali bent down beside her. Shepard tried not to stare at the new red faceplate. "It looks like a Water Valve, but it's inactive."

"Can you get it working?" Bourne asked, somewhat impatiently. Tali looked over her Shoulder at Bourne, clearly glaring. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course I can get it working. Just give me a moment." She leaned her head in closer, and in a few moments water poured through.

"Nice work Tali!" Ashley said. Shepard couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic this time. She and Garrus had argued a bit when they'd gone after that diplomat's sister. Ashley wasn't what Shepard would quite call Xeno-phobic, but she didn't seem to like working with Aliens. She was slightly more comfortable with Tali, but only just.

Tali shook her head. "This valve is only part of a system. We'd need to activate others as well to get it running again."

Bourne readied his shotgun. "Then let's find them and get back to stopping Saren" he said, already in motion again.

Shepard nodded. "We should help the colonists before we go. This place won't last long otherwise."

"You sure we can spare the time Skipper? No offense, but this is a pretty big place. Who knows how long it'll take to find the rest?" Ashley pointed out.

Bourne's called from the other end of the tunnel. "There's another one down here."

Shepard glanced at Ashley. "You were saying?" The others moved down to Bourne's position. He tapped his foot impatiently.

Tali bent down and activated her Omni-tool. In a few seconds water rushed through the Valves.

Bourne hardly even waited for the results. "Come on, there's bound to be a third around here somewhere."

Tali looked at him. "How did you know the system wasn't active yet?"

"Lucky guess"

Tali shrugged and readied her Shotgun. Bourne seemed to know exactly where they were going somehow, as he led them straight past two different point where the tunnels spilt off, right into another break in the wall.

Shepard had time to register the last valve before Geth showed up from the other end of the Tunnel. Bourne threw one against the wall, sending it flying into pieces, while Ashley mowed down another.

Shepard's attention was on the giant Geth Destroyer that had appeared. She raised her rifle to her eye, focusing the sight on the destroyer's blinking optic unit. She blinded it, and had to get behind cover as it opened fire wildly. Bourne's response was to warp it, then run at it with a barrier and shoot it point blank with his shotgun.

Shepard shook her head. _Can't argue with his results, but he is freaking insane. _

**Tali. **

Even though Shepard and Bourne lowered their guns, Tali hesitated a moment longer. She had fought Geth before, on therum, but the close quarters made it seem much more dangerous. She shook her head, berating herself for her lack of confidence.

"You ok Tali?" Shepard asked.

Tali nodded. "I'm fine. Just a bit shaken up by all this."

"Hey skipper, looks like I found the last valve." Ashley said from behind them. Tali kneelt down and activated her Omni-tool. A quarian child could have handled something like this, but she didn't complain.

Water flowed through it, and Tali could tell there weren't any other valves to search for. "That did it. The system is active now."

Shepard nodded approvingly. "We should tell Fai Dan when we head back up there."

Bourne moved past them impatiently. "We still have a job to do here. I wouldn't celebrate just yet."

"No way is that all of them." Ashley agreed.

Tali wondered why Bourne was acting differently. He seemed more impatient, more aggressive. _Almost like he was another person._ Tali was glad her helmet hid her expression of self-disgust. _He's probably just focused on destroying these Geth. Or maybe his wound is still bugging him._

They retraced their steps. Bourne stopped in front of a door to the tunnel they gone past earlier. He held up a hand, signaling the rest to stop as well. _It seems to work a little better with the extra fingers _Tali thought.

Shepard moved up beside him. Bourne lifted his shotgun, and motioned to Shepard and Ashley. They switched for their shotguns as well. Bourne opened the door, and went in slowly, scanning the room.

Tali didn't blame him for being overly cautious. It had been scenarios like this that she'd learned about, perfect for an ambush. She went in slowly as well, followed by Ashley and Shepard.

"See anything Bourne?" Shepard asked, walking in beside him.

Bourne opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a low growling sound. Tali recognized it, and turned the sound, as a Varren came charging at her. Shepard turned and fired her shotgun from the hip, scoring a lucky strike with a few of the pellets. It fell to the ground. It still was alive though, so Tali put it out of its misery.

More Varren came out of nowhere. Shepard took three out with a single burst each, overheating the gun. One lunged for Ashley, only for Bourne to throw it against the wall with a sickening crack. Tali was still impressed by what he could do even after all this time.

"Is that all of them?" Tali asked.

Shepard's eyes scanned the room, as did Bourne's. Tali quickly turned and looked as well.

"I don't know." Bourne said at last. "There might be more; keep an eye out for an alpha in particular."

He put away his shotgun, but his hand still hovered near his pistol. "Let's see if there's anything useful in here."

"Can't hurt to look." Shepard agreed, walking up the ramp to the higher level, Bourne following.

"These power cells might be worth scavenging." Bourne said, stepping closer to a damaged vehicle.

"Let me take a look." Tali said. The power cells came out easily, and she nearly dropped them as she heard a powerful boom behind her. She turned to the sound, drawing her pistol, only to see Bourne holstering his own.

Tali looked past him and saw the corpse of a large varren, one that she hadn't even heard approaching.

"Guess you were right." Shepard said, looking at it in shock.

Bourne grunted noncommittally and went back down the ramp and out of the room. Tali stared after him a moment, then stored the power cells and ran after the others.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I fought back a groan as I headed across the bridge, towards a big fight, and a Geth Transmitter._ Do I really have to do this? Damnit, I know I have to. Otherwise colony won't survive. But how much does this one thing really matter? It's too much a risk for them for me to not do it, that's why it matters._

I shook my head. Maybe it was because I knew I might be being infected by the Thorian, but I couldn't shake this dark mood. I couldn't find any rational reason for it, which just annoyed me more. Iron apparently didn't have anything to say about it either.

As the door in front of me opened and I nearly walked face first into a Krogan, I was brought back to reality. The Krogan was as surprised as I was, but I was the faster one. I threw him backwards, and launched a pair of knives at two Geth snipers up above me.

The Krogan got to his feet, only to have his head blown open by Shepard's sniping skills. The sound brought his friends running out, their own Shotguns at the ready. I opened fire, taking down their shields, then warped them so they couldn't regen. Ashley and Shepard added their fire to the mix; Ashley mowing one down, Shepard taking down the other with a series of well-placed shots.

The last guy charged at me, my rounds doing nothing to slow him down. He ran into me with enough force to knock me back a good 6 feet. He lowered his shotgun at my face, and I rolled to the side, barely avoiding it. I used my Biotics to launch myself to my feet, and tore his Shotgun out of his hands. He snarled, ready to rip my head off. I drew my shoulder knife as he charged. I rolled to the side, and flung it at his head. He roared in pain as it lodged in his eye. I grabbed it Biotically and pushed it in deeper. He raised his hands to his face, trying to draw it out.

He froze as Shepard put her Shotgun against his other eye. She pulled the trigger before he could react, finishing him off. I warped his head just to be safe, then drew my knife from his eye. I grimaced at the sight; it was covered in his orange blood. I wiped it off on my shoulder, then slid it into the sheath.

"Please tell me there aren't any more." I groaned.

"Doesn't look like it." Ashley answered.

Shepard moved past me, and I was more than happy to let her take the lead. "It looked like they were guarding something." She moved into the room, and I heard her rifle fire several times.

She walked back out with a satisfied look on her face. "Scratch one Geth Transmitter. Let's head back up and tell Fai Dan the good news."

I shrugged, and then nodded agreement.

* * *

><p><em>I take it back. I'd rather fight another fifty billion Geth than have to ride in this death trap. <em> At least I didn't have to do anything but try keeping my lunch down as the Mako lurched along down the skyway. Ashley had taken the guns, saying that last time didn't count since she hadn't gotten the chance to use them. She was definitely using them now though, to the Geth's extreme displeasure. I wasn't too broken up about it though.

We had talked to the people we needed to, and gotten some extra creds; well, Shepard had at any rate. I had just tried not to blurt out what I knew and ruin everything. _If I had said something, they'd have been on us in seconds, trying to rip us apart._

We had been pleasantly surprised when we got to the top off the skyway, finding a mako waiting for us. Not ours, it was in much too good of shape for that, but it would get us there. Of course the Geth that had been there had been less pleasant, but nothing we couldn't handle.

As we got farther from the Colony, my mind cleared. The Thorian must have gotten to me slightly, since it faded the father away we got. Suddenly, something hit me, and I sat up straight upright. I didn't even notice the Mako's lurching now. 

_Not the Thorian messing with my head, Iron. He's why I was so aggressive, so impatient. He's why I had to keep biting my tongue not to reveal everything._

He didn't comment and call me an idiot for thinking up such a stupid plan, or to sarcastically congratulate me for figuring it out, so I had no idea if I was right. But it made sense. It worried me though that he could influence me like that. It had been harder to block him out since he had reappeared at that debriefing. But now, I couldn't sense him at all.

_What if he reveals himself when I have to mind-meld with Shiala? _

**What if indeed. That's going to do it for this section folks. More will be up tomorrow, I promise. No jinxing this time, it's just going to happen if kills me. Metaphorically speaking of course.**


	32. Oh shut up you stupid pencil pusher

**I don't really think this needs an intro, since it just continues from last chapter. I just wrote out the whole Feros Section and split it into Chapters when I was done so it wasn't insanely long. Honestly, I had this chapter done yesterday, but wanted to wait because I wasn't completely satisfied with it yet. Now it's good to go.**

* * *

><p>As we rolled to the end of the skyway, through some sort of overpass, we picked up a radio signal.<p>

"I've got movement! Some sort of vehicle, but it isn't the Geth."

I mentally face palmed for not noticing the earlier transmissions, but I had known they'd be there anyway, so I had reason not to be paying attention for them.

"Sounds like they spotted us. They must be close." Ashley said.

Tali shook her head. "The Geth are our main concern. I say we keep moving"

"They might need help against those things. I say we check it out."

Shepard made her vote clear by Parking the Mako neat the entrance.

I chuckled. "Sorry Tali, looks like you're out voted." She just turned to look at me, but she was understandably hard to read. I'd have guessed that she was glaring if I didn't know her better.

We got out of the Mako, heading down the ramp. I concealed a few knives in each hand, just in case things went south. I doubted they would, but I didn't want to take chances if Iron could influence me.

The few rent-a-cops bunkered behind cover raised their rifles at us, though a few lowered them when they saw we weren't Geth. A quick Biotic glowing glare made the others back down as well. It didn't take a genius to see that pissing me off was dangerous.

Of course, it apparently took a pencil pusher to not realize that. As we moved past the line of Guards, one idiot was dumb enough to point his gun at us. "That's close enough."

I didn't activate my knives' blades, but I moved them so I could throw them if I needed to. _If this guy so much as twitches the wrong way…No! Get out of my head you Psychotic Bastard! I won't let you influence me! _

The women standing next to the pencil-pushing idiot had a little more sense. "Relax Jeong. They obviously aren't Geth."

"The fact that we have faces instead of flashlights is kind of a giveaway." Ashley joked. I grinned despite my mood.

"Get back Juliana." Joeng said, waving her back. "Who are you? What do you want?" Considering he was pointing his gun at me now, the most dangerous looking one, he was either brilliant or an idiot depending on how you thought about it.

I decided to clue him in. "I suggest you put that down unless you think you can use it."

Shepard stepped between us. "Bourne…" She warned. I met her gaze evenly, but I kept my attention on the guy with his gun aimed at me. She turned to him as well. "I'm Commander Shepard, and this is… Bourne, my second in command." I silently thanked her for not pointing out my rank. "We're here to take care of your Geth Problem."

"You see?" the woman said, "Nothing to worry about. You were overreacting."

"You trust too easily Juliana." He shot back. "What if they hadn't had such good intentions?"

"I'm just glad to see a friendly face. " She said, turning back to us. "I thought we were the only ones left on the planet that weren't synthetic."

Shepard shook her head. "Zhu's hope is still holding out, if only just."

Juliana turned to Jeong angrily. "I thought you said they were wiped out."

"I said they were "probably" all dead. We lost contact with them, what else was I supposed to think?"

Ashley sighed. "They aren't dead. The Geth have really pounded them though." I forced myself not to laugh at her word choice. I actually took it as a good sign though; I was thinking more like me, so Iron might have lost his grip.

"I know what you mean. Those damn things just don't give up."

I cut across. "We getting closer to their base?"

Juliana turned back to us. " You're almost there. They're holed up in the ExoGeni headquarters, just a bit down the skyway."

Jeong turned to us hurriedly. "Those headquarters are private property Soldier." He was trying to sound brave, and failing miserably. I was impressed Iron was managing to restrain himself from commenting. "Remove only the Geth and nothing else."

I rolled my eyes and turned to glare at him. "Hey *Jeong*? Shut up. The grownups are talking here."

He was faster than he looked. He almost brought his gun up before I sent out of his hands with a Biotic flick of my wrist. I waved a finger. "Tsk. Tsk. Where are your manners? Maybe I should give you a reminder?". _Wait, I'm just giving Iron more to work with. Still, this guy'd probably be annoying me anyway. _"But maybe if you shut up, I'll reconsider. I think you get-" I activated a knife, holding it in plain view- "the point?" I grinned. _And the bad jokes are back. Not so in control now, are you *steel*? _

He gulped and shut up, so I put away the knives. I crossed my arms, forcing myself to stay cool.

Shepard glanced at me, then turned to leave, probably sensing how close I was to kicking this guy in the crotch. And it'd be a toss-up to whether or not the Biotics would come into play.

Juliana stopped her. "Commander? Before you go," Shepard turned back to face her. "My daughter Lizbeth…She's missing."

Jeong found the balls to speak up again. "They shouldn't waste time poking around. We can do a proper accounting of the casualties after the Geth are gone." He hurriedly stepped back as I glared at him with my glowing eyes. The Biotic cornea around me helped too.

Juliana was too outraged to even notice my little display. "That's my daughter you're talking about!" she turned back to us. "She's still alive, I know she is."

Ashley opened her mouth to speak, but Shepard motioned for her to let her handle this.

"Where is your daughter Juliana?" Shepard asked.

"She was working in the Exo-Geni building when the attacks came."

Jeong opened his mouth and hurriedly closed it again as I turned my head his way. Satisfied, I turned back to Juliana. "Stay here. You'll be a lot safer than if you're out in the open. We're going to head for Exo-Geni and see if we can find what the Geth are looking for."

She nodded. "Of course. But if you see my daughter…"

"We'll find her." Shepard promised.

* * *

><p>We got back in the Mako and kept moving toward the Exo-Geni building. I barely noticed the travel there, more concerned with the landscape of my mind. <em>How did Iron get influence in the first place? Before I could communicate with him if I needed, but now he seems to be blocking me out. How?<em>

The question held my attention until we arrived. I noticed immediately that my mind had become clearer the farther we went. _He must be losing his grip after this much time, especially since I'm fighting it now._

There was no reply, so I shook my head and exited the Mako.

"The Geth don't waste time moving in, do they?" Ashley commented.

"They wouldn't be here without good reason. I wonder what it is that's so valuable." Tali added.

Shepard shrugged and motioned me to take the lead through the door way. She hung back with her sniper rifle. I drew my secondary rifle, preferring accuracy over firepower for those hopping Geth. Not that there was much left, Ashley had cleared most of them out with the Mako's guns. _Still, no point in taking chances. _ We moved through the deserted "lobby", which was in ruins. Whether that was due to the age of the Prothean Building or the Geth attacks I couldn't tell. Shepard rushed up to meet us, her Sniper Rifle still held at the ready.

Tali approached the shining blue energy field blocking the door in front of us. "We will have to find another way around. We don't have the equipment to disable this field."

I turned to talk to Shepard, only to see her drop out of sight behind a low railing. I looked over and saw her at the bottom of a drop. I berated myself for forgetting about it. I walked over to it, looking down. Shepard waited for us.

"One way drop Jason. You sure about this?"

"I don't see another way around." I responded, dropping down beside Shepard. Tali and Ashley hesitated, then did the same.

"Have I ever told you that you're insane?" Ashley deadpanned.

I rolled my eyes and moved forward down the tunnel we had dropped into. We walked into a large open room. We moved to the other side slowly, especially when we spotted a recently killed Varren.

Shepard knealt down to examine it, while I scanned the area for more, and for-

I instinctively put up a Barrier as a bullet flew past me. My gun rose to my shoulder and I looked down the scope, aimed at the source.

The young woman holding the gun hastily lowered it, and approached hesitantly. "I'm sorry. I thought you were Geth, or one of those Varren."

I lowered my gun. "If you'd have hit me, I might actually be upset. What are you doing in here?"

"It's my own fault. I stayed to back up data instead of running when the Geth showed up. As soon as the ship latched on, the power went out and I was trapped."

"It's probably a good thing you didn't run. The Geth would have mowed you down in seconds." Ashley said.

Shepard cut in. "Don't worry, we can handle a few Geth."

She shook her head. "It isn't the Geth, it's that energy field they set up. They don't want anybody else getting access to the…" She trailed off, trying to not to give up the game.

"Access to what? We need to find out what they're after."

She hesitated, "I don't know for sure, but if I had to guess… I'm guessing they're here for the Thorian."

"Thorian?" Tali asked.

"It's an indigenous life form Exogeni was studying."

"I haven't seen much else that might interest them. A unique organism makes as much sense as anything" I said. It was an effort not to push her for the rest of the Information. Even if I did, we'd still be trapped in here. _Since we can get the info anyway, it doesn't make sense to put myself at risk. Well, besides the Geth, and the Krogan, and whatever else is in here. Ok, maybe I should stop thinking about it before I change my mind._

"Do you know where it is?" Shepard asked her.

"I could show you where it is, but not with these Geth everywhere. We need to get past that field."

I nodded. "Stay here. We'll go look for a way to shut it off."

"I think the Geth ship is what's powering it. They were laying cables everywhere. Here, take my ID. It should get you past any locked doors." Shepard grabbed it and stored it on her belt.

I chuckled. "Personally, I like my way of opening them better."

Tali looked at me in confusion. "What way is that?"

"Blasting them open." Ashley and Shepard said in unison. They looked at each other, and laughed. Their mirth was cut short by the arrival of several Varren. Lizbeth went running as I sent a few airborne with a singularity, and took them down with a few bursts. The accuracy helped me hit the mark every time. Ashley and Shepard took down the rest of the pack. None got close enough for Tali to use her shotgun.

I led the way through a nearby door, and held a hand up as I heard a deep voice that clearly belonged to a Krogan. He seemed to be having a one sided argument, until we got to the top of the stairs and saw him talking to VI.

"Stupid Machine!

"If there is nothing else, please move aside. There is a queue forming for the use of this console."

He turned around, gun in hand, only to collapse as Shepard sent several sniper rounds into his head. I stepped over his body, throwing a warp field at his head to be safe. _Element of surprise helps a lot in cases like this. Of course, having Shepard isn't too bad either._

As we got closer to the VI it admonished us. "Exogeni reminds all staff that the discharging of weapons while on company property is strictly prohibited."

It turned to Shepard as she approached. "Welcome back Research Assistant Elizebeth Baynham. What can I do for you?"

She looked at me in question and I pointed at the ID card on her belt. She turned back to the hologram. "What was he trying to access?"

"One moment… the last user was attempting to access data on the species called the Thorian. I was unable to provide him with any relevant data."

"Why not?"

"Besides lacking proper clearance, there has been no new data on the Thorain in several cycles. All sensors at the Zhu's hope outpost have been inactive for some time."

_Oh duh! That's how Iron was getting to me! My defenses were weakened by the Thorian spores! He used that to try to take over. So once that thing's dead, he'll be as powerless as ever._

_(I suppose there's no point in trying to continue then.)_

_)Ahhhhhh, is somebody upset I figured out his widdle plan? Would baby wike a boddle?(_

_(You realize I'm not going to just give up?)_

_)But are you going to actually help with Shiala? Discovery would be just as bad for you as for-(_

_(Yes, yes, I know. Hmpph. I'll help that far at least.)_

_)That why you didn't want me killed by that Krogan back when I charged? So you could try killing me yourself?(_

_(Took you long enough to figure out. If I have to step in to keep someone else from killing you I will. Otherwise, you're on your own. And make no mistake, you will fall) _He withdrew again, but this time I could sense him. Before he had spread himself thin, trying to influence me. Now he had regrouped to scheme some more.

"Tell me everything you know about the Thorian" Shepard's voice brought me back to the conversation.

"The thorian is a simple plant life form that exhibits sentient behavior uncommon in other species. Through distribution of airborne spores, the Thorian is able to affect and control other life forms, including humans. "

"A sentient plant? How much you want to bet that's what Saren's after?" Ashley commented.

The VI went on. "Before the sensors were disabled, the majority of the Zhu's hope control group had been infected."

"Are you saying ExoGeni knew it's people were being infected?" Shepard asked disbelievingly.

"I thought there was something strange about them." Tali muttered.

"It was deemed necessary."

"We should warn Joker." Ashley said.

Shepard raised a hand to her earpiece. "Shepard to Normandy. You read me Joker?" she lowered her hand. "Shit. That field must be blocking us."

"All the more reason to get it shut down." I said, turning to leave.

It didn't take long to find more Geth. They were kneeling in front of some kind of glowing Orb. Shepard sniped three before her rifle overheated and they reacted to our presence. My rifle was less accurate than Shepard's but they dropped all the same.

Shepard looked up to study the claws secured in the walls.. "This must be how the Geth anchored their ship to the side of the Building."

"Not very subtle, are they?" Ashley commented. "How can we cut the power if it's coming from the ship?"

Tali looked at the machinery with an engineer's eye. "We don't have the means to destroy this one, even with Bourne." I chuckled at that.

"Then we keep looking. No way are they all this perfect." Shepard said, dropping down to the lower level.

After fighting through a dozen more Geth, we found another claw. Tali looked at it and shook her head. "We can't do anything to this one either."

I moved past her. "I wouldn't say that just yet." I raised my rifle, mowing down a Geth before it had a chance to turn around. The rest were smarter. I switched to my shotgun and moved in close. One of them raised its rifle to fire, only for it to eject its heatsink. I smiled at Tali's tech attack, and took it down.

The others took cover as we moved up. The cover wasn't much good once I was at point blank range though. With my Barrier over my shield, they didn't even touch me.

I moved to the end of the lab, so I could use the shuttle bay doors to destroy the claw. As I tried and failed several times, I heard Tali and Shepard gasp behind me. I turned to them in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

Shepard turned to me. "This log from one of the scientists…ExoGeni gave samples to someone."

"Samples of what?" Ashley asked.

"It's not the what that's important. It's who. They gave them to Cerberus."

"The guys that Toombs warned us about?"

"It must be. We need to find where they took those samples."

I cleared my throat, getting their attention. "No offense, but maybe we should get done with this first?"

Shepard nodded. "You're right, this is more important." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as anyone.

I looked at the bay door controls again, and picked a few valves at random. I hit the control, not expecting it to work, and the door slid closed, slicing through the cable like it was butter. I couldn't keep back a satisfied smile_. It was sort of satisfying to see the cable be dragged out by the weight of the falling ship._

"Damn, I'd have loved to see the look on the pilot's face when that thing toppled." Ashley said with a smirk.

"I hope that ship was full of those Geth bastards." Tali said angrily.

Joker's voice cut off my reply. "I repeat, Normandy to shore party? Commander, Lt. Bourne? Anybody home?"

I raised a hand to my earpiece. "Joker, what did I tell you about calling me Lt?"

"Shit. Please don't break every bone in my body"

"Don't worry, I'll leave you a hand to feed yourself." I joked.

Shepard cut us off. "We read you Joker. What's your status?"

"We're in lock down. The colonists are freaking out, banging at the hull, trying to claw their way inside the… Shit!" I heard a faint ding. "One of them just tried to throw a rock through the cockpit. Lucky that the Shields are still up."

Shepard nodded. "Sit tight. They won't be able to do much."

I activate my radio again. "If it gets bad, fire off a few warning shots. Don't do it unless you have to though. We're headed back now." I cut the signal. "Come on ladies. We have some Geth to kill, and a giant weed to pull."

* * *

><p><strong>What will happen next? Just click the button for the next chapter. <span>Seriously<span>, it's right there. Come on guys, think it out. I don't know why you bothered asking.**


	33. You feeling lucky? Apparently Not

**I also had this pretty much done yesterday, but I had to rewrite one of the scenes so I wasn't taking away from Shepard as much, or being a Mary-sue. **

**Just out of curiosty, anybody know where that phrase came from? I've heard it a bunch, but I'm curious what coined the term. Just a random thought.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, it'd be really f***ed up by now.**

**Shepard Pov.**

* * *

><p>Shepard led the way out of the facility, still in disbelief. They had found out that pretty much everyone was lying to them this whole time, and found more evidence of Cerberus. She shook her head. <em>Bourne is right, we can't worry about that yet.<em>

They made their way through the doorway that had been blocked by the energy field before.

"Looks like your little trick worked _Lt._ Bourne." Shepard joked.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence" He deadpanned. " And for the love of god, stop calling me Lt! It's a bigger pain in the neck than a vampire!"

"What the heck is a vampire?" Shepard asked, confused. She remembered hearing about them somewhere, but she couldn't place it. In a movie maybe?

"Never mind" he growled, moving past her. Shepard stared at his back, then shrugged. _Must be another one of those outdated references he got from the merc gang. He didn't seem happy last time he let one of those slip out either._

Lizbeth was waiting for them. "There you are. We should get out of here. This place isn't safe."

Shepard glared at her. She didn't like being lied to, and was annoyed that she'd fallen for the young woman's innocent routine. "You knew more than you let on. Why didn't you tell me about the Thorian?"

She looked away in shame. " I was… afraid. I wanted to stop the tests, but they threatened me. They told me I'd be next. I tried to send a message when the Geth attacked, but then the power cut out before I could send the message. I never meant for any of this to happen."

Shepard felt sympathy for her, but she didn't let it show. "Where's the Thorian?"

"It's underneath Zhu's Hope, but the entrance is blocked. When the Geth attacked, they covered it with the freighter."

"I still don't understand why Saren would be interested in it" Tali said, sounding confused.

"It's a sentient plant with mind control powers. Those seem like pretty good reasons to me." Ashley said sarcastically.

"That's what Exogeni was interested in" Lizbeth agreed.

Bourne nodded in agreement. He opened his mouth, but was cut off by Joker's voice.

"Normandy to Shore party, come in."

Bourne grimaced in irritation at being interrupted and activated his radio. "Lay it on us Joker. We haven't quite reached our bad news quota yet."

"We picked up a lot of Geth Com chatter. Looks like they're heading your way." Shepard could almost hear his grin. "How's the bad news quota now?"

"Since I know we have to take the Mako back, I'd say we've reached my limit." Bourne said.

Shepard activated her own com. "Thanks for the head's up Joker. You heard him, let's get going."

Bourne groaned. "Can I just walk back? That Mako and I mix like oil and water" Shepard glared at him. "Jeez, ask one question around here and get your head bitten off. We didn't we just bring Wrex if that's the case?"

Shepard ignored his juvenile humor. "Come on."

"I want to come with you! Undo this mess I helped create." Lizbeth insisted. Shepard hesitated, but she nodded agreement. Luckily the tank was still parked where they'd left it. Shepard got behind the wheel and headed for the colony.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

As we ran over several Geth, we got a signal on the comm.

There was static, then "Anybody? Is there anybody picking this up?"

"Get away from the Radio!" Another voice interrupted.

"What was that all about?" Lizbeth and Tali asked at the same time.

The signal came back, weaker and more full of static. " This is Juliana…of Feros colon… Please, help us…." the radio went silent.

Lizbeth looked it in shock, then found her voice again. "That's my mom. Stop. Stop the rover!" Shepard glanced back over her shoulder, hitting the brakes when she saw the look on her face.

She rushed out of the Mako the second it stopped moving. Shepard looked at me, then followed.

I jumped out of the Tank, and flicked several knives into each hand. _This time, it could turn __very__ ugly._ I kept them concealed though, not wanting to give them any bad ideas.

I joined Shepard behind a crate, watching the scene unfold.

Juliana pointed finger at Jeong accusingly. "You can't do this Jeong!"

He raised his hands to his head. "Everyone, just shut up! Let me think!"

Lizbeth opened her mouth to ask what was going on, but I held a finger to my lips, signaling her to be quiet.

"You won't get away with this." Juliana stated.

Jeong pointed to one of the rent-a-cops. "Get her out of here."

I turned to Lizbeth, knowing that she'd rush in. _If I'm lucky, maybe I can keep the element of supr-_

"Get away from her you son of a bitch!" she yelled, running into the middle of them.

The string of expletives that flooded through my head prompted comment from Iron. _(I thought you were a soldier, not a sailor.)_

_) Shove it. Go back to being crazy somewhere else. (_

Juliana pulled free, running to her daughter. "Lizbeth!"

Even Jeong was smart enough to put two and two together. "Damn it. Come out where I can see you! All of you!"

Shepard calmly stood up and her way over to him. I could tell that her calm was only a front though. She was like a tightly wound spring, ready to spring at any moment. I fingered my knives, just as ready.

Jeong was clearly nervous when he saw us. "Hah, Shepard. Damn it! I knew it was too much to hope the Geth would kill you. I found a few interesting facts about you in the ExoGeni database. I know what happened on Akuze, this doesn't have to end like that."

Shepard didn't flinch when he mentioned Akuze, but I saw her tense even more. She was getting over it, but she hadn't gotten over it completely, and I doubted that she ever would.

I stepped past her. "There a reason for all this? And I should warn you, I've had a long, exhausting day so I'm not in the mood for any bullshit."

He hurriedly tried to justify himself. "Communications are back. ExoGeni wants this place purged."

Lizbeth turned to him in shock and anger. "This is a human colony Jeong. You can't just re-purpose us."

He laughed nervously, clearly worried, and possibly maddened. "It's not just about you. There's something here far more valuable than a few colonists."

I shifted most of the knives back onto my arms, but I left one in each hand. "I beg to differ." I popped the blade on both set of knives. A few guards raised their rifles. I turned to them. "Stand down. He doesn't pay you enough to fight me." They hastily lowered them again.

Shepard recovered from his mention of her past. "Would you like to tell them about the Thorian, or should I ?"

Juliana looked at us in confusion. "The what?"

"Long story short: Sentient plant thing that's been living under Zhu's Hope and taking control of the colonists telepathically." I said. I activated my powers just enough to make my eyes glow intimidatingly. "You forgot to mention that Jeong."

"You mean ExoGeni knew all along?" Juliana asked disbelievingly. I nodded, not taking my eyes off Jeong. "You won't get away with this." She stated again.

"You think anybody's really going to miss a few colonists?" he asked.

Shepard stepped forward. "I'm not letting you hurt these people anymore."

Jeong began to raise his gun, but I grabbed it Biotically and sent it flying into my hand. I crushed it in my fist, and dropped it to the ground.

He looked around in panic. "Shoot him! Somebody!"

"Really? You think they're going to be dumb enough to go up against three highly trained Marines?" I activated my powers. "Not to mention that I could biotically peel anyone of them open like bananas. Oh, and I did I forget to mention Shepard and I are both Spectres?"

My pistol flew into my hand, and I pointed it straight at his head. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't resist a little private joke for myself.

"Now, I know what you're thinking. Does he really have the guts to pull this trigger, or can you order them to gun me down? But seeing as this Pistol is loaded with explosive rounds that'll blow your head clean off, you should ask yourself just one question." I pressed the gun to his head. "Do I feel lucky? Well, do you punk?"

He had balls, I'll give him that. He punched me in the face; it didn't do much, but it distracted me long enough for him to grab the arm holding the gun. We struggled a moment, then he managed turn it to aim it at Ashley. I instinctively sent a knife into my left hand and stabbed him in the heart. He dropped my gun, looking in shock at the hilt of my blade. His eyes rolled up and he dropped the floor. A few of the guards stepped forward, so I grabbed the gun from the ground, aiming it in their direction. They hastily backed down, a few of them even dropping their guns.

"I never liked him anyway." one of them muttered.

"Smart move." I said as I put my gun away and let my Biotics fade. _That could have gone better. I'm not shedding any tears over him though._

Shepard was just about the only one not shocked into speechlessness. "Remind me to never get on your bad side."

"Have to agree with you on that Skipper"

Juliana shook her head. "I always knew he was obsessed with this company, but this is a whole other level. I just wish there was another way."

Lizbeth shook her head. "I knew what was going on and I didn't do anything. I'm as guilty as he is."

Shepard stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. "You didn't do anything because you were scared. He didn't do anything because he was a…"

"A selfish Bosh'tet?" Tali suggested.

I shrugged. "Yeah, more or less."

Juliana nodded. "They're right. You do good work and you know it." She turned to us. "So what now, commander?"

She nodded. "We deal with the Thorian."

Lizbeth shook her head. "They'll die before they let you near the Thorian. They're completely under its control."

Shepard shook her head regretfully. "I'm sorry. But there isn't another way."

"There must be!" Lizbeth insisted.

Juliana thought for a moment. "Maybe there is. You could use a nerve agent to neutralize the colonists."

"Wouldn't that affect us too?" Ashley pointed out.

"No, it's very weak; we use it in fertilizers. But if the Thorian's control has weakened them, it should be able to disable them."

"That's a pretty big should, but I guess it's better than mowing them down."

Shepard grabbed the gas units and equipped them on her grenades. "I'll do what I can."

I slammed a fist into my other hand. "We can take them out the old fashioned way too."

"Somehow Jason, that doesn't surprise me at all."

* * *

><p>It was a short drive to the colony. Though the surprise we had waiting for us nearly made me lose my lunch. We got out of the Mako, and a creature that clearly had never been human came charging at us. I threw it against the wall instinctively and it exploded into pile of goo.<p>

Ashley looked at its remains in disgust. "I don't care what that plant does to people, that thing isn't human."

I nodded agreement. "For these things, it's shoot on sight. But leave the colonists, even if they take a shot at you. Shepard and I can handle them."

Tali and Ashley nodded an affirmative. Shepard drew her pistol, so she could quickly grab the gas grenades. I did the same, except I'd be throwing punches instead of grenades.

I hit the door, revealing a mass of Thorian creepers. I opened fire, my explosive rounds tearing them apart with a single shot. Unfortunately, they also made the gun heat up 5 times faster. I was only able to get off half a dozen shots before it overheated and had to vent. Luckily Shepard and the others were smart enough to moderate their fire and avoid the problem. _ Ok, note to self. Next time Wrex gives me advice, listen!_

A bullet bounced off my shields, and I turned to the colonists. Shepard was too busy with the creepers to throw one of her grenades, and the range was too great anyway.

_Not too far for me though. _I switched my pistol to my left hand, and Biotically grabbed one of Shepard's grenades from her belt. I hurled it at the colonists, my Biotics letting me send it a much greater distance than would normally be possible. Shepard glanced at me, but then she turned her attention back to the creepers. We finished them off and moved past the unconscious colonists into the elevator.

I forced myself to keep calm as the ride seemed to stretch on forever.

Finally the doors opened, only for us to encounter another group of the creepers. This time I moderated my rate of fire, and let Shepard and the others help.

We moved to the head of the stairs, where a pair of colonists were waiting for us. I holstered my pistol, then grabbed their heads and slammed them into each other. They'd have massive headache when they woke up, _but I think they'd prefer it to the alternative._

We moved down the stairs, taking down plenty more. Eventually, we stood in front of the crane, all the colonists knocked out.

**A/n. yes, I know, that's a cop out on the battle, but I really didn't feel like writing "I shot a creeper" another 18 billion times. ****Maybe**** I'll go back later and add to it. **

* * *

><p>I nodded at Tali, who studied it a moment, then manipulated a few controls. The freighter lifted, revealing a path to the Thorian.<p>

We walked over to it, when I heard something behind me. I spun around, gun in hand.

Fai Dan walked toward us, shambling like the undead. "I tried to fight it, but it gets in your head. You can imagine the pain." He walked closer, and I hesitated. I didn't want to kill him, but I might not have a choice.

"These people trusted me. I was supposed to be their leader." He drew his gun, and fought back the urge to shoot him.

"It wants me to stop you, but I won't" He lowered his gun, raising it to his head. I frantically tried to rip the gun from his hand, but my Biotics wouldn't activate. It should have been impossible, but it was happening! He raised the gun to his head. "I won't!" I frantically tried to stop him, but I was too late. He dropped to the ground, dead.

The others stared at him in silence. _My fault. This is my fault. My warping of the universe. He was never meant to survive, so there was nothing I could do to save him._

_(And yet you still hold on to the foolish hope of saving Kaiden. But is it worth Ashley's sacrifice?)_

I lowered my gaze.)_No(. _I couldn't put into the words the rest. But I didn't need to.

_(At least you're smart enough to realize that.)_

_)I realized it a long time ago. This is just the first time I've accepted it.( _I was powerful, but Iron was wrong. My powers didn't make me a god. They made me a rift in reality. I could change some things. I couldn't change everything.

In some ways it made me glad that I couldn't accidently ruin the timeline that was so crucial for my knowledge. But in another way… _how can you really handle the fact that you'll have to spend two years where Shepard is dead? Assuming I'm not fated for that as well?_

* * *

><p><strong>Will the Thorian be stopped? Will Bourne's secret be discovered? Find out next weekend, when I'll actually have time to work on this thing some more. <strong>

**I hope you enjoyed these two chapters of "Stuck in a World of Fiction." **

**Thanks for all the reviews, they really mean a lot to me. Hint hint to the people who haven't reviewed.**


	34. It's not easy being green

**Ok, I tried to keep the mood of the battle while leaving out how repetitive it was, so please ignore any minor changes from the game that are hidden behind that curtain.**

**Ok, maybe I should have referenced something besides the Wizard of Oz.**

**Also, if parts of the Dialogue seem exactly the same as in game, it's because they are and I couldn't think of a good way to change them. Tried not to rip the game off too much, but if it slipped in there, that's why.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, then the Illusive Man would be called the "hard to find guy." What's so funny? Stop laughing.**

**Shepard. **

Shepard led them down the stairs to the area under Zhu's Hope. Bourne seemed especially affected by Fai Dan's death. Shepard was as well, but some part of her knew that they'd been lucky it had only been a single death. One colonist out of the group_; it was still too many._

Shepard got to the bottom of the stairs and had to fight back vomit. She had never experienced a worse smell. Ashley's face said the same, but Bourne didn't seem to notice. He was too busy staring at the giant… thing. Tali apparently couldn't smell it through her suit.

"Now we just need to find this Thorian creature and determine what it… what it…" She trailed off , looking at the mass of tentacles and roots hanging before them. "Keelah, what is that?"

Shepard realized her jaw had dropped open, and closed it. She just stared at it a moment . "That might be the biggest, ugliest plant ever. Of all time. This could be….Problematic."

"Anybody bring weed killer?" Ashley asked jokingly.

Bourne shook his head, looking away from the creature. "I don't care how big or ugly it is." He drew his pistol, shooting at a tentacle suspending it. A few drops of green liquid fell to the floor. "It bleeds. That means we can kill it." He moved towards it, and Shepard only barely heard what he muttered. "_Why couldn't Nuke launchers be invented yet? This thing is going to be a bitch to kill._"

Shepard wondered at that, but decided to just ask later, if ever. _Chances are, I don't want to know._

As they moved closer, part of the creature opened up. The tentacles split, dripping liquid onto the ground, almost like a womb opening to give birth. Shepard gasped as an Asari dropped from the creature. She was even more amazed as she realized that she was green, not blue or purple like she should have been. Bourne's eyes glowed with potential Biotic power, though they didn't manifest yet.

The asari spoke in a monotone voice, like someone hypnotized. "Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat. Good only to dig or decompose"

"Just meat? I'd think I'd at least be a choice cut." Bourne muttered to himself.

"I speak for the old growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian! It commands that you be in awe."

"And that's why I don't mess around with mind controlling plants. I like having skin that isn't green. I've heard it isn't easy being green."

Shepard wheeled on him. "Bourne, shut the fuck up!" His eyes widened slightly and dimmed; the extent of the surprise he'd show. He quickly hid it, though an amused smile remained. _I can't believe I actually let him get a reaction from me._

She turned back to the Asari, if that's still what she was. "You gave something to Saren. Something we need."

"Saren sought to find knowledge of those that are gone. The old growth listened to flesh for the first time in the long cycle, and a deal was made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. The old growth knows the air you push as lies. It will listen no more."

Bourne stepped forward, keeping one foot ahead of the other, a combat stance. "Here's something you can be sure isn't a lie. Let the colonists go, or I'll turn you into mulch. And that's only for starters." His eyes smoldered like blue coals.

"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry." Bourne got a resigned look on his face, yet his jaw was set determinedly. Shepard tensed, ready to move. _He's going to do something, I know him that well._ "Your lives are short, but have gone on too long!"

Bourne flicked his wrist, sending a knife Shepard hadn't even seen flying into the Asari's throat.

She stood still a moment, then fell to the ground. "Funny. I was about to say something similar." Bourne dead panned, drawing his pistol and taking aim at the creatures that sprung to life without warning. It was too close for Shepard to use her sniper rifle, so she settled with her shotgun instead. _Still not as good._ Bourne rushed into a group, his barrier offering extra protection. He was forced to fall back as he was swarmed by a group of them.

"Form up! We're going to be surrounded!" Shepard shouted. Ashley and Tali moved beside her, the three of them forming a triangle, best for fighting off the enemies on all sides.

Bourne moved in a moment later. He threw pulses of energy in every direction, scattering the creatures if it didn't kill them directly.

"Anybody got a plan?" Ashley shouted over the gun fire.

"Don't die." Bourne replied, throwing a singularity into a group. "Other than that, I'm open to suggestions."

"Not the time Bourne." Shepard shot back, blasting a group apart with an explosive shot. "We need to bring this thing down."

"Well we aren't going to do it by staying here." Bourne holstered his pistol.

"What are you doin-" Bourne cut her off by clapping his hands, launching a ball of energy that tore a hole in the wall of the creatures.

Bourne sent his pistol back into his hand. "Making a path. Come on, this thing has to have a weakness."

He rushed through the opening he had created, into another chamber. The narrow doorway forced the creatures to come at them in smaller groups that were easily handled by the three of them.

Shepard realized a moment later that Bourne was ignoring the threat and shooting what looked like a root attached to the wall. Shepard turned her head his way to get his attention again, and was immediately knocked to the ground by one of the creatures.

Ashley and Tali tried to get to her, but were forced back by the creatures. Shepard looked up at one of the creatures, and was surrounded by a blue glow, unable to move. She barely had time to register this before the thing opened its mouth and spewed a green substance all over her, only to be held off by the field.

The creature fell in a blast of pale flesh. Shepard was suddenly released from the field. She couldn't hold back a sigh of relief as the onslaught of the nightmarish ghouls ended.

"Do me a favor Shepard, and try not to do that next time." Bourne said with mock exasperation, turning back to the root.

Shepard got to her feet. "I wouldn't have done that if you were over here watching our backs. Why in hell were you shooting at that root instead of the things that were attacking us?"

Bourne shot the thing again in response, and Shepard was surprised by a moan of pain from the bulbous center of the organism.

"You treat the symptoms and leave the source, you die. These things aren't just for show. We take enough of these out, it's going to cause some damage." Bourne headed up the stairs, calling back "We should probably keep moving before more of those things show up and knock you on your ass again."

"Jason, next time I go anywhere with you, you're paying."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind Ash."

**Bourne.**

_(Do you have any sort of plan at all?)_

_)Kill this thing, what else?( _For once Iron's words didn't distract me, they kept me focused. It allowed me to ignore anything that wasn't important and kept my accuracy razor sharp. It had even allowed me to focus my Biotics two ways at once, allowing me to shield Shepard and myself at once. _One of the few good things about him._

_(You're saying there's more than one?)_

_)No.( _ I rolled to the side of the creatures, lining up a lucky shot that went through several in a row. Now on the second level, I sprinted towards a neural node, only to fall back as waves of creepers assaulted me.

_(You still didn't answer my question. What do you do if Shiala finds anything she isn't supposed to? If you let your silly morals get in the way…) _he let the rest unspoken; it didn't need to be said.

I took a moment to hurl a singularity and buy myself some breathing room before replying. _)That happens, I slit her throat as soon as she separates and claim she burned the vision out of my head when she tried to kill me. Also means that Liara won't need to meld with me and put herself at risk.( _

Iron was silent a moment, which suited me fine. Shepard and the others caught up to me. This time I hung back and let them do the heavy fighting, supporting them with singularities and picking off any creepers that rose behind them.

_( That isn't a bad plan) _He grudgingly admitted. _(But what about Raptor? It matters little whether we, you get the Cipher, but she needs it. Unless you'd rather just blurt out exactly where the Conduit is.)_

_)Even if that was actually a good idea, that relay is lost, remember? Have to get it from Noveria.(_

I shot a group of them, then explained_)I volunteer saying that it's risky, then she overrides me and makes me let her go first, which I grudgingly let her. Or so she thinks. She's really just playing into my hands.(_

_(You've given this some thought.)_

_)I was stuck in bed for a couple of days without you in my head. I'd have been an idiot to not plan a few things out.(_

I realized with a jolt that Shepard and the others had taken down another node and moved on ahead. I sprinted to catch up. I caught up to them,as Shepard rolled to the side. I barely had time to swear before a ball of Biotic energy ran into me, knocking me on my ass.

"I thought I killed that Bitch already." I growled, getting back to my feet, and throwing a biotic bolt of my own at her. She was knocked back and quickly taken out by the others.

_(You know that there's going to be more of them?)_

_)It's a joke jack-ass.(_ I replied as I moved up, still covering their backs. _I just hope it's only green Asari I'll be killing today._

**Shepard.**

_Can't believe Bourne is actually hanging back instead of being up here. _She raised her shotgun and fired the large blast at the root. It took another normal burst for it to fall though.

"How many of these things have we taken out?" Bourne asked as he rushed up to them, throwing a singularity over his shoulder.

"Three." Shepard said, turning to help him take the creatures down.

"Surely this creature can't withstand much more." Tali said, though there was doubt in her tone. There wasn't any doubt in the way she handled her shotgun though. Her tech skills had been handy earlier, but in this situation it would have been better to have Garrus or Kaiden, who backed their tech skills with Biotics or gun skill.

"I just hope this thing dies soon. It's going to take me forever to get the smell out of my hair" Ashley joked.

"Hey, at least you didn't get puked on like Shepard." Bourne said with a grin.

His grin faded as he took down several with headshots, then reappeared as suddenly as it had vanished.

Shepard only registered this in the very back of her mind though, since at that moment, another green asari showed up. "Bourne, duck!"

He rolled to the side, barely avoiding a warp field. He stood back up, then was flung against the wall. He fell to the ground on his knees.

Shepard sighted in on the Asari's head, but her rounds were deflected off of her opponent's shields. She kept firing, until a warning sounded, signifying that her shotgun had overheated. She rolled to the side as the Asari fired her own gun.

Ashley hit her with a burst of rifle fire, but the shields still stayed up. Shepard backed up, hoping to get her to rush and then flank her, only to realize she was backed against a sheer drop. _If I fall, I'm a stain on the ground._

The Asari raised her gun, her face still expressionless, then glowed blue. Shepard tensed, ready for the inevitable blast that would send her to her death, but none came. The creatures stopped coming as well. Then Shepard realized that the blue of the Biotics surrounding the Asari were the wrong shade.

Bourne got to his feet, only his hands glowing apart from his eyes. He walked up the motionless Asari and put his gun to her head.

"Shepard, move."

Shepard got away from the edge hurriedly. Bourne ended the field and pulled the trigger, but a wave of energy flew from the Asari's hands at where she'd been standing.

She shook herself, willing away the sense of near-death. She was a soldier, and had faced death too many times to count. She was embarrassed that it had shaken her this time.

Then she thought of Liara, who she'd have left behind, and forced back a shiver. "Thanks."

"Think of it as payback for Therum." Bourne replied, his mind somewhere else. "This thing can't last much longer. Take out this node and it should fall." Shepard somewhat resented what seemed like an order, but he was right.

Shepard leveled her gun at the node, and pulled the trigger.

She was startled as the very ground shook. Moans of pain filled the air as tendrils snapped or were dragged from the walls. That was nothing like the sound of the Thorian hitting the ground far below; like a billions snapping bones, and sickening wet crunch.

Even with all she had been through, it still made Shepard want to hurl.

She instinctively raised her gun at the sound of movement to her left. Bourne turned to the sound as well, but he kept his pistol at his side. His head hung slightly with exhaustion, not that Shepard could blame him. He'd probably never used his Biotics as much in one day as he had just now.

Shepard turned her attention back the sound, seeing a pod opening like a cocoon. Even stranger, the Asari that immerged from the pod was a dead ringer for the Asari Bourne had killed. The only difference was the lack of green skin.

"I'm free" She said disbelievingly. "I'm free!" She only then seemed to notice the group. Bourne looked at her with an unreadable expression, _though considering he killed two things that looked just like her, I can understand why he'd be weirded out by her. _

"I suppose I should thank you for releasing me."

"Are you ok?" Shepard asked, putting away her gun. Ashley looked at her like she was crazy, but did the same. Bourne put his gun away, and crossed his arms. Shepard would have bet almost anything that he slid a knife into each hand, even if she couldn't see them.

"Yes. Or I will be in time anyway. My name is Shialla. I serve…" she looked at the ground, rephrasing it. "I served Matriarch Benezia."

Bourne held up a hand, cutting her off. "Let me guess. You allied yourself with Saren when she did."

"Benezia foresaw the path Saren would take, and tried to force him down a gentler one." She said evenly. "Saren is compelling. She underestimated his influence."

"Are you saying Saren can control minds?" Shepard asked with a bit of sarcasm.

"We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is troubling."

Ashley laughed dryly. "That's what happens when you spend time around a snake, even one you think is tame. It's going to bite you eventually."

"Sounds to me like the plan backfired." Bourne agreed.

Shepard shook her head, not quite believing, but her gut telling her it was true. Still, Liara had taught her much about Asari culture, just as Shepard had talked about Humanity. "Asari Matriarchs are among the smartest and most powerful beings in the galaxy. How could Saren manipulate her so easily?" Shepard desperately wished it was like that, with Benezia being a victim. She didn't want Liara hurt.

"Saren has a vessel, an enormous flagship larger than anything I have ever seen. He calls it Sovereign."

"Ominous. " Bourne said dryly.

"Then it is well named. It can dominate the mind of his followers."

"How?" Shepard asked desperately. "Erasing their minds and replacing them? Controlling their thoughts? "

Bourne just stared at her. "You've been watching too many vids Shepard."

Shialla shook her head. "It is more subtle than that. It can take days, even weeks. In the end though, it is absolute. Those indoctrinated come to believe in Saren and his goals, even as they think the goals are their own. To them, Saren can do no wrong."

"So then, how did you end up trapped in a plant?" Ashley said, still skeptical.

"Saren brought me to this world so I could communicate with the Thorian, learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance."

"Again with the snake and it biting you" Ashley said.

"Saren's pretty quick to betray his followers. Not all that surprising if you ask me." Bourne said, arms still crossed, but he seemed more relaxed now.

"He was quick to betray the Thorian too."

"Let me guess. He ordered the flashlight heads to kill it so we couldn't get whatever he got." Shepard rolled he eyes at his term for the Geth.

"Yes. He knows you are following him, trying to find the conduit before he does. He attacked the Thorian so that neither one of you could gain the cipher."

"Cipher?" All four asked at once.

"The Beacon on Eden Prime gave the two of you visions." It wasn't a question. "But they were unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind."

"Just my luck I had to be Born a human." He grinned. "See what I did there? _Bourne_ a human?"

Ashley slugged his shoulder, which quickly shut him up, though he still chuckled to himself.

"You are correct in part. To understand the Visions, you must think like a Prothean, be able to understand their history, their culture, their very existence."

"And this Cipher can somehow allow them to do that?" Tali guessed.

"Yes. I cannot explain any more than I could explain sight to a creature without eyes, but I sensed the ancestral memory when I melded with the Thorian. It watched them, and absorbed their minds when they died."

"So you taught Saren how to think like a Prothean, and understand the vision." Shepard said.

"It can be taught, it simply exists."

"But you transferred it to him via mind meld?" Bourne said, somewhat impatiently.

"Yes. And I can do the same for you."

Bourne stepped forward. "Then do it. We might not have much time."

Shepard held out an arm to stop him. "I want to believe you, but there's no real guarantee that we can trust you." She turned to face him. "I'm not letting you take that risk Bourne." Still, Shepard hesitated. But there was no other way. _Liara will understand. _

Bourne stared at her a moment, then nodded. "I don't like this, but alright." his face was dark, clearly not happy with what he was having to do.

Shepard stepped forward, barely hearing her words of guidance. _Liara, I'm sorry._

"Embrace eternity!"

**Ok, I'm going to cut it off here. I don't have time to write the second half right now, but I don't want to wait to publish this.**

**I'll try to get the other half and the next chapter out this weekend, but it's going to busy, so kinda iffy on that right now.**

**Sayonara. **


	35. Well, now I feel great Not

**Ok , I'm going to say there might not be a new chapter next week. I already said I want to Virmire next, then Noveria last. (No offense to any other fic writers, but I think doing Virmire last has become kind of a cliché since pretty much everyone does that.) Long story short: I've yet to find any gameplay videos on You-Tube where someone else plays in that order, so I'm not sure how that changes the story progression. So I'll probably have to play through and "research" what happens then. Unfornately, the only time I could do that would be over the weekend, which means it could cut into my writing time.**

**Of course the simplest way would be to just do Virmire last, but like I said, I think that's sort of over-rated. Also, it fits the story better, for reasons that'll be explained later. **

**I don't Mass Effect. If I did, Kaiden wouldn't be voiced by Carth. Nobody really likes either of them.**

* * *

><p>"Embrace Eternity!"<p>

I fought back a sigh as Shaila finally just melded and stopped with the philosophy. Ashley and Tali waited, tense, but I was even more so.

If I messed this up, I'd have no option but to kill her.

_(Will you stop dwelling on that? You're giving me a headache, and I don't even have an actual head anymore!)_

_)Excuse me for having a conscious.(_

_(That conscious is going to get you killed "Pinocchio". And that's not the reason I care. If you're dwelling about the fact that you might kill her when she melds, don't you think she might notice?)_

I grimaced, knowing he had a point. I forced myself to think about the vision; the one I actually had, not the one I'd seen on a vid-screen.

My eyes narrowed. _Wait a minute, vid-screen? It was called a TV back then._

I kept my face calm, but my mind was racing like an aircar. _Back then? But, that's where I'm from. It was only a few weeks ago, so why am I thinking about it like it was hundreds of years in the past?_

"You ok Skipper?"

Ashley's voice brought me back to the present, if it could still be called that after what I had just considered. "I'm fine. I think. I saw that vision again, but it still didn't make much sense."

"You have been given the memories of an entire people, a great gift. It will take time for your mind to adjust." Shiala said.

"You look kind of pale Shepard. You sure you're ok?"

Shepard shook her head. "I'll be fine." Her tone made Ashley drop it.

I stepped forward. "Now give it to me." Shiala stepped forward, but I held a hand up. "Two things first." My voice became deathly cold. "Get in, give me the Cipher, than get back out. You do any unnecessary rooting around in my head," I put a hand on my belt knife "I'll slit your throat without a second thought."

She paled slightly, but nodded. "It is not my intention to invade the privacy of your past. I will only join our minds enough to transfer the Cipher."

"Just so we're clear." I took my hand off of the knife.

_(You know, if you're that fucking worried about, just skip the damn Cipher and leave it to Shepard. It isn't worth having to hear you moping for god knows how long. )_

_)Not an option. I get the feeling reality wouldn't let me skip it. And even if I did… it's not a bad idea to have a backup plan in case something happens to Shepard. Better safe then sorry(_

_(In that case, you'd be risking discovery just as surely.)_

_)If it got to that point where it was the only way to find it, it'd mean the Reapers would be coming. Personally, I'd rather not get wiped out by them(_

I turned my attention back to her. "Try to Relax. Reach out to grasp the-"

"Yeah, that's the other thing. Just skip the Philosophy lesson and do it before I change my mind."

"Very well." her eyes closed, then opened, pitch black. "Embrace eternity!"

I felt another mind sliding across mine, but not Iron's this time. For a moment, we were separate. Then, we were one. I was still me, but it was like I was her as well.

It really can't be explained. I saw snatches of her life mixed in along the vision, but I kept my focus solely on the vision. I didn't let a single thought of my past enter the vision. The sheer will required to keep focus on a single thing left my mind feeling almost drained. Thousands of years of history flowed before me, yet I couldn't think about it for more than second. I had to immediately focus on the next image. It felt like an eternity when it finally ended, and I collapsed to my knees.

* * *

><p><strong>Tali<strong>

Tali bit her lip, though nobody else could see it. Bourne had been standing there much longer than Shepard had. His body was held so much differently as well. Shepard had been like a statue; tense, but still and tranquil.

Bourne's body tensed and relaxed, his eyes opening and shutting wildly. His Biotics flickered around him

Ashley paced nervously, her eyes never leaving him for a moment. Shepard looked slightly pale, but only because Tali had gotten used to her skin tone. Otherwise she wouldn't have noticed.

"Are you sure they're ok?" Ashley finally asked Shepard. Tali didn't blame her.

"It's not like downloading a program to an Omni-tool. Bourne's mind is probably resisting even more than mine did. It's not something that can be rushed."

Ashley shook her head. "I still say we should try to get their attention."

"It wouldn't work. And even if it did, the process might leave their minds in tatters; leave them with fragments of each other. Liara's told me that it's happened before."

Ashley turned back with a look clearly of despair, and kept pacing.

Tali was starting to feel like doing the same. It was hard for her to not be moving, doing something to contribute.

Suddenly Bourne's body twitched and shuddered, and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

Ashley was at his side in a second. "Jason! Are you ok?"

He got to his feet slowly, with Ashley having to half support him. "Never better." He managed to say with a grin. "I get headaches that make my head feel like it's been split open five times a day."

Even Tali could tell he was Joking. _I'd have noticed if that happened. Right?_

The Asari averted her eyes. "I am sorry if you suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the Cipher to stop Saren."

Bourne chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Just remind me to never, ever do anything like that again."

He almost collapsed again.

Ashley drew her pistol and pointed it at the Asari. "What did you do to him?"

Bourne weakly tried to lower her arm. "It's not her Ash, it's me... Ok, that didn't come out right." Ashley moved her eyes in a circle, and Tali looked around to see what she was looking at.

"I'm not used to using my Biotics as much as I did against those things. I'd be halfway on my ass anyway."

Ashley hesitated, and Bourne gently grabbed her arm. "Put the gun away. I'm supposed to be the loose cannon around here."

Ashley shot the Asari another death glare but she put her gun away.

Shepard moved to grab his other arm, throwing it over her shoulder.

He shooed her away. "I'm fine." Tali noticed that his knees trembled as he said this, but she decided to just stay quiet. _Male pride is the same in any species. Even Garrus didn't want my help on the Mako at first. Though he seems much more willing to let me help now._

"What else can you tell us about that mind controlling ship?" Bourne asked suddenly, like he'd only just thought about it.

" I don't know how it was built, or by what species, but it easily dwarfs any ship in the citadel or Alliance fleet. It's design doesn't match that of any known species capable of space travel."

"Could it be Geth?" Tali asked. She noticed how Bourne's body tensed, then was almost forced to relax. Like information was being given to him that he knew was wrong.

"I do not think so. It's weapons are devastating, but I doubt even the Geth are capable of making such a vessel. Saren believes it to be unstoppable."

Bourne groaned suddenly.

"With all due respect, maybe you can play twenty questions with her later?" Ashley said exasperatedly.

Sheppard nodded. " We should have Chakwas take a look at him."

"But do we do about her?" Tali asked.

"If you will allow it, I would like to stay here and help the colonists. They have suffered greatly, and I played a role in that. I wish to make amends."

Shepard turned back to her. "The colonists will be glad for the extra hand."

"Especially since I had to kill that Exo-Geni guy that was dumb enough to-" Bourne's words were cut off as he held a hand to head and groaned. "Ugh. Someone want to turn the sun down or something?"

"Forget this, let's get you back to the Ship." Ashley said, half supporting him, half dragging him.

"I'll be back to talk to you later." Shepard said.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

It was sheer agony to even think; I didn't understand why this was affecting me so much more than the Vision had.

I tried to think it out, hard as it was. I needed to know sooner than later. _Shepard looks a little pale, but not so bad overall. Why is it affecting me so much more strongly? It's like a vicegrip is squeezing on my head. _

"Come on, stay with me Jason" Ashley said as she helped me up the stairs towards the Normandy.

I groaned in response. Normally I'd have resented having to be half carried, but I was in too much pain to care at the moment.

I must have blacked out; the next thing I was aware of was Joker's voice.

"Jeez Lt, you look like shit."

I managed a smile. "Joker, you had really better hope I think that this I just a pain induced hallucination later. In fact, if you weren't so fragile, I'd have punched so hard the grandkids you'll never had would have had their first word be oww. And that's before the Biotics kicked in."

"Bourne, can you please shut up for once?" Shepard asked exasperatedly. _I guess the Cipher must be affecting her too, but less than me? Why?_

It was something to consider as I went down the stairs to the medbay. _The Vision hardly did anything to me at all; it was the blast that ended up knocking me on my ass. I was prepared for that though._

_So maybe this is affecting me because I'm not really as strong willed as Shepard? There was no way to brace for this._

Suddenly Chakwas was standing over me, somehow managing to look worried about me and pissed at me with the same expression. She helped Ashley lower me onto a cot.

"You realize that this is the third mission in the row that I've had to patch you up after?" she said as she scanned me a few times with her Omni-tool.

Tali shifted nervously. _For god's sake, if she blames herself for this too, I'm going to be pissed off._

I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Hey, at least he has you to patch him up." Shepard said. "How long you think he'll be out?"

Chakwas looked at a few readings and frowned. "Hard to say. I don't see anything wrong with him physically. Did something happen out there?"

Shepard quickly explained about the Cipher, while Chakwas listened with pursed lips. "Hmm. If that's the case, I'd guess that it somehow caused the same sort of reaction as L2 implants; it looks like a migrane to me."

I didn't know much about Migranes, but I guess she was right. _Wait, If Kaiden gets migranes most of the time…_I must not have had my usual poker face because she hurriedly reassured me that the effects would probably only be temporary.

Shepard motioned for Tali and Ashley. "You stay here and relax. We're going to head back out and see if I can get anything more out of Shiala."

I nodded. Then I glanced around the medbay and grimaced. I had spent too much time in here recently. "Not that I don't appreciate your company doc, I think I'm going to head to my quarters and lay down there." _Plus I won't have to pretend to not notice Liara and Shepard doing things that I'll never be able to get the images of out my head. Fuck! I had enough of a headache before I had to think of that!_

"I suppose there's not much I'd be able to do here anyway. Like I said, you probably just need to sleep it off."

Ashley hesitated, but after a glance at me, she followed Shepard. The pain in my head had receded enough to make my way to my Quarters and collapse. I removed my gear and lazily piled it against the wall._Screw it._ _I'll store in my locker later. Not like anybody's going to be dumb enough to steal from me on this ship._

A flash of movement in the Mirror caught my eye. I turned to it, and immediately wheeled around. But the room was empty. I felt a cold chill in my gut. It hadn't been the movement that attracted my eye, but the glow that had shone out of two sunken eye sockets. _Iron. _

I didn't feel Iron in my head, but I didn't try this time. I just collapsed on my bed. _It must just be the Cipher screwing with my head. Maybe I saw some sort of ancestral memory and just happened to think it was Iron. _I actually managed to almost convince myself.

I just lay there, my head throbbing in rhythm, looking at the sleek surface of the ceiling. I didn't find any answers though.

A knock on the door caught my attention, and almost slid a knife into my hand before I realized I didn't have any now. I shook away the left over worry about Iron. I got up and went to answer, figuring it'd be Chakwas or Ashley checking on me.

Instead, I opened the door and was surprised to find Kaiden standing there. He looked just as surprised to see me.

He hastily snapped a salute. "Lt. Bourne! Sir"

I just stared at him resignedly. "You do realize we're the same rank so you don't have to do that? And that calling me Lt. is the best way to earn a one-way ticket through the Air-lock?"

He lowered it. "Force of habit. And I think your Spectre Stasis means you technically outrank me."

I so did not want to make small talk with this head ache. And that would have been with someone I didn't know was destined to die. "Is there a reason you're here?" I asked, trying to be assertive without being rude. It came out sounding more like being a dick.

"No offense, but I could say the same to you. I thought that this was Shepard's room." he said evenly, keeping a lid on his temper. He tensed in all the ways I would when I talked to the council. I was impressed despite myself.

"Was. We traded. Co-commander has privileges. "

"Traded?" He asked confused.

"Again, reason that you're here?"

"I heard Shepard was onboard and saw that the door to her quarters was locked. Though I guess there're really your quarters. You know where she went?"

"She and the other two headed back out to see if they could get some information."

"Thanks." He seemed to hesitate, then asked "So do you know where she's been Bunking now that she gave you that room?"

"I don't know anything if I'm smart." I said with a smirk. "But I'd guess it's that room behind the medbay."

He looked shocked. "Behind the medbay? As in sharing a room with Dr. Tsoni?"

"Unless there's another room back there I don't know about, yeah."

He looked at the ground, then shook his head. "I don't know why I ever believed her."

I wanted this conversation over, but I kinda felt for the guy under the circumstances. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing Bourne, don't worry." I could read volumes in that sentence.

"Let me guess. You feel something for Shepard, and she accidently made you think that she felt the same way."

He looked up in shock. _That may not have been the smartest thing to say. Damn headache!_

"That's one way to put it. I noticed them in the backseat of the aircar on the citadel, but I guessed that they had just become friends."

"They did. Trouble is, there's another part infront of that word. And it starts with a G"

He shook his head. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"She's not even on the ship."

"I know."

I crossed my arms. "You think she led you on?" I guessed.

He hesitated.

"I'll take that as a yes. Look, I'm sorry for you. But to be brutally honest, it was probably your imagination. I've seen how she looks at Liara."

Kaiden shifted on his feet. "I guess you're right. I still feel like I should talk to her though, even if it's just to clear the air."

I felt a twinge of guilt, but I ignored it. I had to. "I hate to say this, but I think it might be best if you kept it to yourself. Shepard took a little while to accept… well Asari aren't quite chicks according to her, but you get the idea."

"What's your point?"

"If you give her an out, she might take it just because she thinks it'd be more socially acceptable and reflect better on the Alliance. And you'd both wonder if she chose you just for that reason. She has something with Liara, but I don't think you and her share that same spark."

I put a hand on his Shoulder, though it took a lot of will power not to flinch. "I haven't known Shepard long, but I consider her a friend. I don't want to see her hurt." Almost everything else I'd said had been lie, but that was the honest truth. I wasn't a noble hero like her; I'd rather her lose Kaiden then me lose Ashley. But if I could spare her that by letting her and Liara find happiness, I would. I almost expected Iron to say something, but I guessed that he was scheming.

He shook my hand off of my shoulder, but I let him. "Maybe you're right. I'll think about it."

He turned to go to his…_Huh, now's a good a time to ask him as any. _"Sorry to change the subject so abruptly, but what is it you do at that console anyway?"

He didn't hear me, lost in thought. Or perhaps he ignored me, but I didn't blame him.

Then the full reality of what had just happened hit me. _Not only am I going to kill him, I basically just killed his hopes and dreams. _

_I'm a bigger monster than Iron._

The truth was hard, but I forced myself to rationalize it as the lesser of two evils. It was done with good intentions, even if it caused him suffering. I lowered myself to the bed. _Maybe that's why my head is so aching. Karma._

I made myself grin, even as I grit my teeth at myself for the dark joke. _What is wrong with me?_

I had wished before, even if it was only in the back of my mind, that I could suddenly be transported back to safety in front of my X-box. Now though, even if I could have, I'd have refused. I'd done far too much to just leave now. And I'd lose Ashley.

I slumped on the bed. _Bad enough I've lost my whole family and all my friends, but I can't lose Ashley too._

It took me a moment to realize that no memories came to the Surface. No memories of parties, or dates. No memories of my birthdays or siblings. For a wild moment, I wasn't sure I had even had siblings. I hadn't once thought about them. Now I knew why.

The Universe must have wanted me for a reason. It didn't want any distractions for me. It erased the important parts of my life so I wouldn't want to go back.

For the first time in my new body, I cried. I shed tears for memories lost, and for losses to come. I shed tears for my victims, those I couldn't save because it would mean more deaths.

I shed tears for a family I could no longer remember. For friends I couldn't even recall the faces of.

_I guess now I'm Jason Bourne in fact as well as name. wooptie-fuckin-doo. _

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, like I said, kinda iffy on a new chapter next week. It's not going to be from the game (that's all I'm saying on the subject) so maybe I can do it, and play through Virmire too. <strong>

**And before anybody asks, no, that isn't why I named the guy Jason Bourne. I named him that because I was reading "The Bourne Identity" when I wrote those first chapters and decided it was a good name for him, then couldn't think of another.**

**I didn't think about the whole memory loss thing until after Iron entered the picture, and then the name just seemed to fit perfectly. **

**I hope you enjoyed this Chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction."**

**Also, I know I said I hoped to do a version of the sequel both before ME3 and after it comes out, but now I'm thinking I won't be able to finish both this and a story spanning Mass Effect 2. **

**I do have two separate ideas for the setup, one with a certain project and one without though, so either way there's going to be "An Alternate World of Fiction" at some point. **

**Wow, these are my longest author's notes ever, but I think now's a good time to clear the air on a few things I've been wanting to say.**

**And if you guys have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer them. I like talking about this stuff. Just send me a message or ask in a review.**

**But if you guys ask me about romancing Tali, I'm just going to ignore it. I like Tali, but I'm not a Tali-mancer. I like most of the romance options equally (Except Jacob or Kaiden. And I've never had femShep go after Thane personally, but I can see why others might.) It might happen in another fic, but not with Bourne. **

**I might rename him and revive him with different abilities for another series, but that's beside the point.**

**And if you've managed to actually read this far, congratulations. You earned absolutely nothing.**

**Until next time, sayonara.**


	36. I'm in deep trouble in more ways than 1

**Ok, I thought I wouldn't be write this because I played through Virmire to figure out how the order changed things. ( I was right about what I thought happened, but it was worth it since Mass Effect is my favorite game of all time. Hurry Up ME3!) **

**Turns out: the real reason I couldn't write is because homework is a b***h. And so is the person that gave it. I've had to cram in writing here and there.**

**I don't own robot chicken, or they'd have had a segment with Mass Effect. Think about it: They'd actually be able to have Joker voice himself! (And break the fourth wall in the process)  
>Yeah, I'm running out of disclaimer jokes, so I thought I should mention that since it seems so obvious. I don't own Mass Effect or any of its characters.<strong>

* * *

><p>Tali shifted nervously as Wrex sat staring at the door. He didn't move, but he was tensing by the minute. He looked ready to tear something apart, and Tali hoped with everything that it wasn't living. Or anything that would be difficult to repair.<p>

"Where the hell is Bourne?" he finally rumbled.

"Maybe he got caught in the elevator." Garrus joked. Wrex looked at him and glared.

"So does anybody know what's keeping him?" Tali asked, trying to avoid the fight clearly about to break out in front of her. Wrex and Garrus didn't get along well because of their species' history.

"He must still be working on his report. I doubt he'd be able to go without cursing them out in just one draft. It'd take at least two tries." Ashley said with a small smirk.

Shepard stood up straight from where she'd be leaning against the wall. "I'm going to go see what's taking him."

She walked to the door, but stopped and turned to Wrex and Garrus. "And if you two end up killing each other, I'm tossing the survivor out of the airlock."

They turned to look at her, then started laughing. "You and what army?" they asked at once. Their expressions twisted as they realized they'd actually agreed on something.

"I'm going to get Bourne. I don't need an army." She said with a smirk as she walked out.

Tali just shook her head. _I will never understand other species. Really, I'm lucky I can understand what Garrus says half of the time._

Wrex turned back to Garrus. "You think she's serious?"

Ashley laughed. "Probably. When the skipper says something, she means it." Tali noticed that Kaiden tensed at this.

"Well, we'd finally solve that argument about whether Wrex or Bourne would win in a fight." Tali said, trying to make a joke.

Pretty much everybody stared at her. But Wrex laughed at least, _so I guess it sort of worked. _

Ashley rubbed her neck uncomfortably.

"What makes you so sure Wrex would win against me?" Garrus muttered, but not loud enough for Wrex to hear. _He could take anybody down but Shepard or Bourne. Though maybe Garrus could beat him._

Liara shook her head. "Somehow, despite how much time I spend with Raptor, I still don't understand other species at all."

Tali stared at her in confusion. "Who's Raptor?"

Liara's face turned purple in embarrassment.

"It's Shepard's first name. Though hardly anyone ever uses it." Kaiden said, glaring at Liara.

"Shepard's first name is Raptor? Isn't that an extinct lizard or something?" Wrex asked.

"Maybe we should start calling her Shepardsaurus." Garrus asked with a grin. Tali thought she understood that, but her lessons on Human history were fewer since they were newer to the Galaxy.

"You two aren't really in a position to talk." Ashley said with a small smirk.

"At least we don't look like overgrown Pyjaks." Wrex replied.

"Over grown…What?"

Tali put her head in her hands. _I hope Bourne gets here soon. _

"So what does she look like? A fish? "Kaiden said, still glaring at Liara. The asari turned to him in shock. Tali did the same. The Lt. was normally friendly, if not exactly open.

Even when Tali had gone with him and Shepard to rescue a political hostage while Bourne was recovering from the Cipher, he had never been as vicious in combat as the others. And Tali had never seen him lose his temper like this before.

"Is something wrong Lt. Alenko?" Liara asked nervously.

"Yes. But it can wait until it's less crowded in here."

"There's only 6 of us in here." Garrus said.

Kaiden turned to glare at him. "Not what I meant." He said, leaning forward in his chair.

The door slid open, and Tali fought back a sigh of relief as Bourne and Shepard walked back in.

* * *

><p>Shepard opened the door to Bourne's room, forgetting to knock since it had been her room only a few days ago. She immediately regretted it as something came flying at her head. She ducked and it barely missed her.<p>

"Geez Bourne, if you want privacy so bad, just lock the damn door."

He got off of the bed and walked over to the mirror. He looked at himself, also looking at her. "Sorry. I was meaning to hit the door. I just can't concentrate on the damn report."

Shepard looked behind her and saw that it was in fact a blank data pad.

He threw his arms up. "Screw it. If they complain about me not sending a report, I'll just say there was nothing to add to yours."

"Did you even read mine?" Shepard deadpanned.

He went on like he didn't hear her. "And if they complain then, they can take his complaints and shove it up his ass with that stick he keeps up it."

"You really don't like that Turian councilor, do you?"

"No shit Sherlock." Shepard had almost gotten used to some of his sayings. She'd ended up watching a vid on old media, and Bourne had ripped off almost every famous thing they had back then.

Shepard shook her head, and walked over to him. "What's really bugging you? You didn't even want to come fight Biotic extremists for god's sake. You pass up fights like a junky passes up a hit." _And the more I think about it, the more sense that makes._

"Hah hah, I laughed so hard I forgot how to laugh." He said sarcastically.

"Was it the Cipher?"

He glanced at her. After a moment's consideration, he nodded. "I suppose that's part of it. It's just that…" he trailed off.

"What?"

"When I melded with her, I was keeping her out of my past with every last bit of will power I had. But some of hers slipped in." he laughed bitterly. "I have no memories of a family. I've never really thought about it, but my eyes were opened recently. A brief taste, then nothing." He sat down on his bed.

"Bourne, you aren't convincing me." He looked up in resignment, though he seemed tense, like a secret of his was discovered.

"What do you mean?" his voice was too even and controlled to be convincing.

"Well, for one thing, despite how much you joke about me and Liara, we have melded minds enough times for me too… Not like that you perv!" he had grinned when she mentioned melding. "It's completely different."

"So you've been doing it without the Embracing Eternity?" he teased.

"My point was, I know that you wouldn't have gotten that memory without wanting to. She didn't give you anything but the Cipher. Are you lying about the lack of family too?"

He glanced up at her. "Shepard…." He shook his head. "What did you come in here for?"

"I'm not going to just drop this. But since I don't think it's a good idea to keep Wrex waiting we should probably head up there."

Bourne got up and walked past her to the elevator. "Fine by me."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

Shepard followed me into the elevator, and I could see a determined look on her face. _What the hell was I thinking? Even that small hint at my past was dangerous._

It took me a moment to realize that I was actually waiting for Iron to reply. He had been noticeably absent since I acquired the Cipher. My mind had started to accept it after a few days, but there was still a dull pain in the back of my mind. I didn't dare meld with Liara to sort it out though; despite Iron's claims about not wanting to be discovered, I trusted him as far as Tali could Biotically throw him.

_And yet he saved my life._ I forced back the thought. He had done it for his own selfish reasons, to make sure I could die by his hand. I had worried at first that he might have transferred himself to Shi'alla's mind somehow. But I had seen his eyes in the mirror.

I very much doubted I could rid myself of him that easily.

"Bourne, did you hear any of that?"

I realized with a start that Shepard had been talking to me this whole time. "Sorry, I was thinking."

"I said, I'm worried about you. You haven't been acting like yourself since the Cipher. I think we should have Liara take a look at you, maybe have her try to sort it out. She'd understand it better than anyone else I know."

I felt that alarm go off in my head again, and moved quickly to block it off. "She's your Girlfriend, not mine. You want to meld with her, go ahead. But you'd need to get me pretty drunk for me-"

"Can you be serious for five fucking minutes? You locked yourself in your cabin for two days; even Ashley hardly saw you. And your eyes are red as beats."

A cold hand gripped my gut at her last statement, then realized that she meant the whites, not the irises.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were crying."

I laughed bitterly. "Shepard, when you think about it, how much do we really know each other?"

She stared at me a moment, puzzled, thinking it over. I knew that because that's how I had planned her. I knew a lot about her past, but I knew nothing about it.

"I guess you have a point. We've never really talked, apart from when we argued after what happened to Talitha." I tensed at that, knowing that she'd never forgive me. _Hell, I'll never forgive me. _ "You really only know me from news reports, and I only know about your past from that fake report you wrote."

I gaped at her before I realized it. "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" I hurriedly put my Poker face back in place, hoping against hope.

"If you don't want to talk about your past, I understand. Don't worry, I haven't told anyone else."

I could see that I hadn't convinced her. Still… "But how did you know?"

She smiled triumphantly. "I didn't know. You just told me."_ How in the hell did I actually fall for that?_

My mind raced. The obvious question was too find out how much she suspected.

I was saved by the doors opening, and rushed out. I was gambling that she wouldn't say anything around the others. It was a risk though; if she said it anyway…. _I'll be up a certain creek without a paddle. And I'll be in shit Ocean_ _without a boat if she finds out the truth. _

But fast as I went, Shepard was faster. She went up the other set of stairs and managed to loop around in front of me. Despite the situation, I was impressed. She was barely even breathing hard.

"Shepard, I'd tell you to get out of the way, but knowing you you'd ignore it."

"So you think you know me well after all?" she said, crossing her arms.

Maybe it was Iron, but I'd never really felt fear here: Rage, but not fear. But I had to focus to keep my Biotics under wraps, and my knees from shaking. I'd known it would be bad if I was discovered, but I'd never really thought about the consequences. Even if the universe let me, changing anything major could spell doom, and there was no doubt that if I was discovered things would change. They'd get my knowledge one way or another. _And if the wrong people got their hands on it…._

"Shepard, unless you want to deal with an angry Krogan, shouldn't we get in there?" I asked with a false smirk. The best I could do now was to try to cut it off.

"Wrex is more levelheaded than that. But what I want to know is why you never mention anything specific about your past. The most I've gotten out of you is that you have a lot of outdated sayings and you never stop cracking jokes." She lowered her arms. "I noticed that you never mentioned the name of the merc leader in your report. What was his name again?"

I wanted to facepalm. _I'd been worried about being discovered, when all she really knows is that I'm not a former merc like I said. _Panic was dangerous.

"Nigun" _It is a good thing that I have that perfect memory. _

"Was it? I wonder what Ash or Kaiden would say if I asked them?"

"They'd say exactly what I just said." I shrugged. "Well you know, if they didn't forget or something. They've probably had more important things on their minds."

Shepard looked at me. "Bourne, I trust you. That's why I wanted you as my second. But I know that you're no mercenary. You don't fight like one, you don't act like one, the only thing about you to even suggest it is your armor. What are you trying to hide?"

"Shepard, how much were you paying attention after you got the cipher?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you hear what I said I'd do to Shiala if she went rooting around in my head? There's a reason I never talk about my past. Don't start prying into it." I managed to brush past her. "I have enough blood on my hands without having to add yours."

She grabbed my arm. "Is it really worth killing someone over?"

"I don't know. But I don't want to find out." I shrugged her arm off and headed through the door.

I entered the com room with Shepard on my heels. Because of Shepard, I was extremely aware of suspicious glances, so I noticed Kaiden's glare at Liara immediately.

It was pretty obvious why. Hell hath no fury and all that. Granted Kaiden wasn't a chick, but same principle.

Shepard walked past me to the other side of the room, leaning against the far wall. I once again was against the wall, ready to bolt if I had to.

Liara could obviously read Shepard like a datapad, since she turned to me, sensing that Shepard was worried about something that involved me.

"Are you alright Lt. Bourne? You seem pale." _Not surprising considering that little scare. _"Are you suffering any ill effects from the Cipher?"

I shook my head. "Not nearly as much as before. Worse thing now is a little headache at the back of the skull."

"You know that I am an expert on the protheans? I've already managed to interpret what Shepard saw, but it's incomplete. You may have the missing half."

" I doubt it. The thing was damaged; that's probably the only reason it was broken up." _That'd have been nice to know before now! My main plan had been to have Shepard go first, then pull my little trick to make her seem too weak. Of all the times to not have a backup plan!_

"Is that why you didn't mention it? Because there was nothing new?"

"Isn't it at least worth a search?"

A plan sprung to mind. _Wait a minute… for all intents and purposes, I have the other half of the vision, the one from the game. If I could isolate that and show it to her… No Virmire! _

"Are you that eager to meld with someone other than Shepard?" Kaiden asked. _He was never this scornful in game. Then again, he never had me snap his heart like a twig in the game._

"Hah! You're one to talk. I can smell your hormones from here. " Wrex rumbled.

"What? That's not… You're making that up."

Wrex's reply sent my theory crashing down. _Oh. Right. The army of Krogan. It has to be blown up. And Shepard has to find out above sovereign. _I sighed.

"Melding is not the same thing as joining, as many non asari don't seem to know." Liara put in.

"So Shepard must know the difference then?" I said. Everybody else in the room sent their eyes at Shepard. Her face was red, though I couldn't tell if it was anger or embarrassment.

"Bourne, you do know that I have a gun with me?" Shepard said through gritted teeth.

I smirked even more though, despite the threat. "Then you'd better get lucky with the first shot, cause you'd never get a second."

"Relax you two. We don't need any fights in here." Kaiden said, stepping between us.

"Oh? Then why were you staring daggers at Liara?" Even if I was going to kill him, Hypocrisy was just not cool.

"That's something different."

I snorted. "My ass. You're just pissed because you aren't Shepard's type."

"What?" Shepard's glare turned to shock. I face palmed. _Way to follow your own advice. Tell Kaiden not to tell her, then do it yourself. So much for being able to hate hypocrisy. _

Liara paled. "This is exactly what I'd hoped to avoid." I was dimly aware that she'd noticed at all, but I was more focused on the fact she'd completely forgotten about the melding. So had everybody else in the room by the look of it. "I may not know much about human relationships, but I do understand the concept of jealousy."

Kaiden turned to her. "I'm not jealous; not anymore. I'm confused. I thought we might have had something. I didn't realize you were a-"

"Alenko, if you want to keep yourself in one piece, I sincerely suggest you think carefully about what you're about to say." It would just be cruel to stand by and let him stand in the way of Shepard's punches. _Though that would be the fastest way to resolve this._

"Well…" he hesitated, then said quietly, "You prefer other women."

Ashley was trying to hide a grin at the look on Shepard's face, but I could tell about the others. Kaiden had his back to me, and I wasn't great at reading alien expressions.

Tali was actually easiest to read; she was moving away from Shepard. And her eyes were wide as dinnerplates.

"I am not exactly a women Lt." it actually took me a sec to realize Liara wasn't talking to me. "My species only has one gender."

I laughed, and walked up behind them. _I got them off my back, so maybe I should end this. By the time they even think about this again, I'll have a better plan. _ "I don't know why you two try to deny that so much. Like I told Shepard, you have lipstick, heels, and everything in betwee-oww!" I rubbed my arm where Shepard had slugged me. _That's what I get for trying to be noble._

"Bourne, don't make me hurt you."

"Too late" I muttered.

Shepard turned back to Kaiden. "As annoying as he is," I chuckled at that, "He's right. I like you, but not in that way. Liara's the one I really care about."

"So you admit that you're dating a chick?" Shepard glared at me, and clenched her fists at her side.

"No response is a response; I'm thinking that's a 'yes'."

"It's a 'shut up before I punch you again'. I'm sorry you got hurt Kaiden, but we aren't meant to be."

"I understand commander. I hope things work out between you two. I've got some mission reports to file, that kind of thing? You know how it is."

_Is that what that terminal is for? Huh, makes sense._ "To be fair Kaiden, if you'd just listened to my advice, this wouldn't have happened." I regretted the words as soon as I said them.

He wheeled on me, his hidden emotions bubbling to the surface. Oh? And how would you know? You've never had anybody to care about."

"What's Ashley, chopped liver?" Everybody stared at me. I facepalmed again. "Of all the old expressions I could have said, why did I have to say that?" I groaned. "My point is, I care about Ashley."

"Way to announce it to everyone Jason." Ashley put in. She was still smiling though, so maybe she wasn't holding that comment about calling her meat against me.

"Yeah, love you too." I said with a grin.

" Love? How can you really know about love?" Kaiden said exasperatedly

" Unless you were getting lucky with asari in the merc gang?" Ashley said. it didn't take a genius to tell  
>she'd be pissed if that would have been the case.<p>

I chuckled. "I don't think so. 'embrace eternity' doesn't do as much for me as it does for Shepard."

"You were trained from birth, and given the most advanced implants possible. I was exposed to eezo in the womb. I was taken from my house and shipped off to jump zero without even being asked what I thought about it. I was fitted with implants that killed others, and left me with Migranes that leave me out of commission for hours. I was beaten by the teacher until I killed him by accident. You don't have the right to judge me, Lt."

My merriment faded. "Don't have the right to judge you?" I asked quietly. My emotions were swirling like socks in the wash.

"No. You don't. Sir." He added the last part hastily. He was clearly aware he'd touched a nerve, even if he couldn't know why.

"So you think you have the right to judge me?" I continued in the same tone.

"No sir." He looked like he was about ready to run.

"Good. Because you don't either. I've had to fight tooth and claw for survival ever since I was created. A part of me always wants to kill, and I have to fight it back. I was made for only one purpose. I'm a weapon." I became aware of the other's stares as well.

Still, my tongue moved of its own accord. "I could snap you in half before you even blinked. I could do that to anybody in this room."

"Jason?" Ashley's tone held worry. I wanted to break my words off, end this, but I couldn't. My eyes were fixed on Kaiden.

"The only thing keeping me from killing you is my better half. And I don't mean Ashley." My fist raised in front of me, though I didn't move it.

My Biotics were activated. And they were red. I had no control over myself.

It wasn't me talking.

"I can still hurt you though" Iron said.

I screamed, but no sound came. I had no control. Iron would tear them apart.

I threw my mind against his. _)If you think I'm giving up without a fight, you've got another thing coming.(_

_(Dear dear Bourne, you truly think you can attack yourself? That Cipher fused us together even further. And it left me in control.)_

If I was still in charge of my face, it would be drained of blood. He had wanted me to get the cipher to further his plans. He had kept me from suspecting him by suggesting I not get it.

_(This battle is already won. Fortunately, the battle against them isn't) _"I'm going to enjoy this!"

* * *

><p><strong>And now you probably all hate me for ending it right then. Look on the bright side: The holidays are fast approaching, so I'll have plenty of free time to write more. Or I might spend it all finally playing skyrim. <strong>

**I'm kidding. I want to see what happens next just as much as you do. Writing these parts not from the game is always more fun. I have most of it planned out, but I get to nail out the details as I go. **

**I hope you enjoyed this two day late chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction." **

**Sayonara. **


	37. Raptor vs Iron

**You wanted more? Here it is. After a disclaimer joke of course.**

**I don't own anything of Bioware's. If I did, Sagacious Zu would have made it to the end of the game. Killing off a character that cool? Come on Bioware. It's almost like killing off Shepard! Oh wait, you did that too. (Um, Spoiler alert?)**

**And just to clariy, Italics are Bourne, normal are Shepard. I wanted to do it from both POVs.**

* * *

><p>Shepard looked in shock as Bourne's Biotics turned a sickly shade of red. His eyes changed to the same Shade. She was so engrossed by this fact that she almost didn't hear what he was saying. Then it hit home.<p>

"I can still hurt you though." Shepard's hand dropped to her gun, and she took a step back. Bourne's voice had become low and monotone. And it was filled with hatred and loathing; it wasn't Bourne's voice.

"I'm going to enjoy this!" His face was split by a horrible sneer as he drew back a fist. The three Biotics acted on instinct, trapping him in an extra thick stasis field.

"Jason what the hell is wrong with you?" Ashley yelled at him.

Shepard shook off her shock, and drew her pistol. Saying something was wrong with him would be an understatement. "Bourne, you have five seconds to calm the fuck down!"

_)Well this is just great. I can't move! And that was before the stasis fields(_

_(You mean you can't move your body. Believe me, it's working just fine.)_

_)You're awfully smug for a guy that can't move so much as a finger.(_

_(And you are awfully smug for someone in your situation. I'm actually doing you a favor. Now you won't have to kill Kaiden yourself.)_

_)And just how do you plan on getting out of here?(_

Bourne smiled. A wave of energy tore through all three stasis fields. "Tsk. Tsk. You really think you can hold me? Liara pulled a similar trick not long ago and it was no harder to break out of then." He threw his arms apart, sending Kaiden and Liara flying apart, falling to the ground.

Shepard shoved the gun right in his face. "Stand down."

He simply wrapped himself in a barrier. "You really think you could get through my barrier and my skull in one shot? I'd snap your neck before you could even pull the trigger."

_Impossible! You shouldn't be able to break through all three fields!(_

_)You've been holding back unconsciously. You can't utilize the full power that you received from _"_Hero"( and I've been keeping you from mine. I have access to more than you've ever had.(_

"What about a shotgun?" Wrex shoved his gun into the back of Bourne's neck. "I think that might do the job."

Garrus also had his sniper rifle aimed squarely at Bourne's head. "Give up now Bourne. Save yourself a fight."

Ashley had her own gun aimed at them. "Are you crazy? Think about who this is!"

"This is the guy that just tried to kill all of us." Garrus replied, still keeping his eye on the scope.

Bourne laughed, a chilling sound. "Tried to kill you? I was merely toying with you. But if you truly want me to try to kill you, I can oblige."

Shepard's mind raced through the possibilities. His mind might have snapped from the strain of the cipher. He might have cracked under the pressure. Or maybe he had always been like this, and Shepard just hadn't seen it.

Some part of her screamed at her for hesitating, but she knew in her gut that this wasn't Bourne's fault.

"Bourne, calm down. Don't do something you'll regret." Kaiden said, getting back to his feet. Bourne turned his head to look at him.

"I simply regret not doing this sooner."

"What? Going insane and trying to kill us?"

"No. Not doing, THIS!"

One second he was standing in front of Shepard, the next moment he was pinning kaiden to the wall, his arm across his throat.

_'He can charge too? But he hasn't tossed any singularities around so maybe he can't use those' I thought._

_(You know I can hear everything you think whether you want me to or not?)_

_)How! How did you get control?(_

_(The cipher weakened you and let me take over. I've been influencing you for days, keeping you bitter and isolated. You simply didn't realize it. And now I am the master.)_

"Now then," Bourne slowly drew his pistol and aimed it at Kaiden's head. "Which eye would you like me to shoot you in? I'm really not picky. Eh, I'll shoot in the middle, then everybody goes home happy. Well, you go home in a box, so I guess you might not be happy…"

"You're a sick bastard."Kaiden managed to gasp. Shepard lined up a shot, but held back, knowing that she wouldn't be able to hit Bourne without hitting Kaiden as well.

"Thanks for noticing." He dropped the gun suddenly, stumbling back.

Liara swiftly retrieved it and aimed it the owner. But despite their training, Shepard knew she'd be little more than a distraction in a fight. Her eyes were drawn back to Bourne as he clutched his hands to his head.

"No. NO." his Biotics flickered a moment, shifting back to blue. "Get out of my head!" he screamed.

They flickered back to red. "Oh, so you are putting up a fight. Good. I was afraid this wouldn't be any fun."

"Screw you." He collapsed to his knees, still clutching at his head, blue once more.

_I threw myself at him, but I had lost the element of surprise. _

His eyes flashed back to red, and he stood. "What's the matter _Bourne? _Having trouble maintaining your _Identity?_ Losing the fight for _Supremacy? _Is the _Ultimatum? _ Is this what's going to be your _Legacy?"_

_)I get it. Bourne. (_

"You shouldn't even bother fighting. It will only make this more drawn out and painful."

Shepard was now thoroughly confused, and clearly she wasn't the only one.

"I knew he was crazy, but this is a little more than what I'm used to." Wrex muttered as he dropped again, Biotics shifting purple, as the the sides battled for control.

He smiled. "Oh I'm crazy all right. Crazy like a fox." The evil voice said

"No, I think you're just plain old pyscotic." The real Bourne replied.

"Of course. What else would you expect?"

Shepard fired a shot at Bourne's feet, getting his, or maybe their, attention. "Bourne, whatever's wrong, we can help you."

"No Shepard, I don't think you can. Corpses aren't much good at that."

He lurched forward as Ashley pinned him from behind. "Jason, listen to what you're saying!"

He sneered, back to red. "Ok, now this is getting irritating."

He shrugged his shoulders, sending her flying back. Then he spun and gently lowered her to the ground, blue once more.

_)I get it, you think taking her out will distract me and allow you to overwhelm me. It would only seal your own fate.(_

_( I wasn't going to kill her. I romanced her too, remember? I have some feelings for her or I would have let her die back on Therum. I was going to knock her out at the most. Bah, it is irrelevant. I will still end this.)_

_He focused on Kaiden, intending to charge him, but I threw myself against him, willing a singularity into being in my hand. He couldn't cancel it as he was never able to create on. As long as I kept my hold on it, I would be able to remain in control. _

"Nice try." He turned to Shepard, face twisted in pain. "Shepard, if you want any hope of ending this, you better take knock me out. I don't know how much longer I can keep him at bay."

_Iron tried to warp her, and I focused on canceling it out. But it made me lose my grip over the singularity. He was quick to take the reins again. _

He hunched over, laughing evilly. "Did you really just ask her to knock you out? As if she needs anymore reasons."

" Garrus, Wrex, hold him down!" Shepard shouted, aiming her gun at him. As much as she hated it, her only options were to take him out, or to take him down.

Wrex didn't take two steps before he was sent flying back into the wall. He dropped the ground, stunned but recovering and Bourne turned his attention back to Garrus.

"This is almost too easy. Tell you what, I'll give you a fighting chance and not use the Bioti-" his words were cut off as Garrus rushed forward, landing a solid thwack to the jaw. He managed to roll with the blow though, allowing him to stay conscious, if only barely.

_It hurt like a bitch._

_(It felt like a fly landing on me.)_

_He slowly got back to his feet, facing Garrus. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I felt the face grin evilly, and his hand reaching towards my pocket. I frantically tried to wrest control back, but Iron was immersed too far in the hunt for me to stop him._

"Come on Garrus, show me what you've got. Unless you'd rather leave? The door's right there."

Garrus swung at him, and he easily jumped back. "You'll have to do better than that"

Garrus had too much training to just rush in, and hung back. Shepard circled up behind him, aware of the dwindling numbers. Ashley was still stunned, and Kaiden had been weakened by the lack of oxygen.

Liara was hardly a fighter to begin with, though Shepard was glad that she'd been kept out of harm's way. Bourne paid no attention to her once he had broken free from her stais. Her Biotics were good, but not good enough against a fighter like them.

Garrus kept throwing blows, and Bourne dodged without effort. He dodged a hook, and landed an uppercut right to the jaw. Had Garrus been human, his jaw would have been snapped in half.

As it was, it only staggered him, and he swung a blind blow, forcing him back. Shepard didn't dare take a shot, even a disabling shot; they were moving too fast to get a clear line of sight.

"Not bad Vakarian. You may have reach, but I have speed agility, endurance, "

_)Dude. You realize how gay that sounded, right?(_

"And more importantly, I have this!" he pulled his switchblade from his pocket, slicing at Garrus' head. Garrus stumbled back, narrowly avoiding the blade. He dodged wildly, not expecting this sort of attack.

"Give up and I'll make this quick. As it is, I might just start cutting things out until you stop screaming."

He thrust his other arm forward, sending a pulse of energy at his feet. Garrus fell to the ground, and Bourne pinned him there with a foot. "Oh, Remember when I said I wouldn't use the Biotics? I lied."

He shifted his grip on the knife. Shepard grit her teeth and fired at his exposed back. They were easily deflected by his Biotics. Bourne's dark side was too focused on the kill to even notice.

"I'd say this would be quick or painless, but I'd be lying."

He raised his knife, ready to send it into Garrus's heart.

He was suddenly knocked to the ground from a shotgun blast. Tali aimed it at his head. "I have a shotgun, and I'm not afraid to use it."

Bourne got to his feet, and Tali aimed her gun right at his face. He simply swatted it out of her hands. "Oh, there you are. I thought you'd fled when you had the chance. It would have been the smarter decision."

Tali reached for her pistol, but he disarmed her again. Without warning he did the same to Shepard and Liara.

"Oh, look at this. A bunch of helpless fish just perfectly strung up to be gutted. My favorite. Too bad we don't have any lemon salt to go on it."

_)Ok that's just sick. If I was still in control of my stomach, I'd have just hurled.(_

"So who's first?"

Wrex answered by charging at him, shotgun in hand. Bourne met him head on with his own Biotic charge. Wrex was knocked to the ground, and Bourne slit his throat.

"Not bad, I'll give you a solid…eh, b minus. But between you and me, I go for the A grade." He stabbed his hump several times, before turning to meet Shepard's assault. "Ok, I'll come back to him in a second." Wrex's wounds were already starting to heal, but he'd be out of commision for a few minutes.

Bourne was good, but Shepard hadn't qualified as an N7 operative for her looks. She blocked his blows, even as he blocked his. They broke apart and circled each other, searching for weaknesses. Shepard saw the door, and motioned the others to block it. If he escaped, he'd slaughter everyone on Board.

"Come on Bourne, hit me with your best shot." Shepard taunted, hoping his pride would make him take her up on the offer.

"What are you waiting for lady? I'm right here." He responded, holding his arms wide, waiting for her to come into knife range.

Tali lunged at Bourne's outstretched arm, boot knife in her hand. He only barely managed to avoid having his tendons severed.

_I was surprised at Tali's combat skills, but I guess she carried the knife for a reason. She was more than a match for Iron; he had been expecting a helpless victim, not a fighter._

"You don't really think you can beat me do you?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing you insane Bosh'tet!"

"Tsk tsk. I can handle the near severing of the arm, but the name calling is just rude."

Shepard landed a solid punch to the side of his head, and he staggered. Shepard moved to press the advantage, but he put her in stasis for a crucial group of seconds. Kicking at Tali, a wild swing that made her pull back, he managed to back up far enough to grab Garrus from the ground. Holding him from behind, he put the knife to his throat.

"Now then, let's sit down and discuss this like good little victims."

"Let him go." Tali said, surprising Shepard with the force of her words.

"Or else what?"

_I seized the opportunity, again throwing myself at Iron. He dropped Garrus and the knife, clutching at his head. I could sense him weakening now._

_(No! I won't be denied! I am a god!)_

_)If you're so powerful, why haven't you won yet?(_

_He growled, and pointed his hands at Garrus, energy crackling between them. He prepared a warp field guaranteed to kill him._

_(Stop resisting! If I go out, he goes with me!)_

_)I'm the one that warps reality, remember? What makes you think you can kill him in the first place?)_

_(I will end him! I will!) The biotic field grew, and he tried to send it at him. But I was right; this was not his destiny. Whatever Iron's deluded thoughts, he still was bound by the laws of reality._

_We were both distracted as Pain shot through my right arm, and the knife dropped from nerveless fingers. We both looked at Tali's knife in shock, stuck into my arm. Blood dripped from the severed veins, weakening the body._

"Bourne, it's over." Shepard said, kicking Bourne's switchblade away.

_I felt Iron's control slipping, and I quickly seized control, focusing on every aspect of the body that was mine. My dark hair, my glowing blue eyes, the scar on my finger from another life. Iron knew that he had lost. _

_(You may have won today, but I haven't lost the war yet.)_

_) You're finished. This time, stay dead.(_

_(You really didn't hear me did you? If I'm going out, someone's going with me.)_

_With a demon's will, he seized control over my left hand, tendrils of red among the blue. He fought with mad strength, outpowering me with his last efforts._

Shepard was almost certain that the knife had taken the fight out of Bourne. She was even more sure that his other self was gone, driven away by blood loss and exhaustion.

"Ashley, get Chakwas in here." She said, taking her eyes off of Bourne. She instantly realized her mistake and turned back to see his red glowing arm yanking the knife from his flesh.

"Tell her to bring lots of anti-biotics then. Someone's going to need them." He threw the knife, hitting Tali in the gut. She doubled over, her suit already pumping her full of disinfectants. She fell to her knees, losing consciousness.

"I think that's yours" The evil voice laughed wildly. The eyes faded back to blue and he slumped to the ground unconscious as well.

Shepard activated her radio. "I need a medical team up here stat! Tali is down!"

Chakwas's voice crackled back. "What happened? Never mind, I can ask later. I'm on my way, and my assistants are setting up a clean room." The last part had the force of an order, clearly telling them to start it.

Shepard looked at Bourne, blood still pumping. "Bourne is wounded as well." She hesitated, then added "Bring lots of Biotic suppressants for him."

"I'm heading on the elevator now."

Shepard looked at the rest of her team. They were banged up, but the only other one really hurt besides Tali was Wrex, and his regenerative abilities had already kicked in.

"If Bourne lives through this, I'm going to kill him." he muttered, getting back up. "Should probably get some pressure on that bleeding. Not much you can do with the Quarian though. Just hope that the infection doesn't get her."

"Don't talk like that!" Garrus shouted, kneeling at her side. "She can still pull through!"

"Don't delude yourself. That was a pretty big wound. Hell, even I would feel something like that."

"Shut up Urdnot before I shut you up myself!"

Shepard stepped between them, holding them apart. "Enough you two! We already had one team member try to kill us today, we don't need you at each other's throats.

"That thing was not Jason." Ashley said, applying pressure to staunch the flow of blood.

"Be that as it may, until we figure out what the hell just happened, he's still a threat. " Shepard swallowed, saying something she thought she never would. "As soon as Chakwas patches him up and gets his Biotics suppressed,"

She lowered her gaze. "I want him confined in the brig."

* * *

><p><strong>Two cliff hangers in a row? Man, now you guys will definitely hate me.<strong>

** A special thanks to the guy that sent me the message reading "Right more now!" Followed by about a hundred exclamation points. That really brightened my day. (Sarcasm.)**

**In all seriousness, I try to update as much as possible, but I do have other obligations. And this isn't always easy as it looks; it took me a good 2-3 hours total to write this chapter; it's pretty time consuming.**

**But I love this far too much to stop now. Heck, I'm already thinking about the sequal. And the follow up in ME3. And the alternate versions of both.**

**And a possible new series with a different version of Bourne. **

**But maybe I should finish writing this one first. Until I can get back to doing that, I hope you enjoyed this installment of "Stuck in a World of Fiction."**

**Sayonara. **


	38. Why?

**I don't own Mass Effect, or it wouldn't be so easy to change the name into something sexual. Though I guess it's no more obvious than Star Wh***s.**

**Anyway…**

* * *

><p>Chakwas turned to Shepard as the door slid open.<p>

"How is she?" Shepard asked, hoping the news might be better than Bourne's. He was still unconscious, and now under guard in the brig.

Chakwas shook her head. "Not great. A knife to the gut like that…Tali's just lucky that it missed the major organs. It was a one-in-a-million shot."

Shepard sat down. "I told Joker to send off the report, and I made a change saying that the comm room was down."

"Was it?"

"No, Bourne didn't do much damage. The only noticeable thing is an imprint in the wall of Wrex."

"I still don't understand how he could have done all that."

Shepard looked at the ground. "I didn't see it either. And now Tali is lying there because of me."

"Shepard, that isn't your fault." Shepard looked up to see Garrus sitting on Tali's other side. Well, it was the other side of the drapes that made up the clean room. It was impossible to completely take out the infections on a human ship like this, but it was enough to reduce the risks.

"Garrus, you're a bad liar."

"I didn't want to mention it, but I thought there was something off about his behavior lately. I saw the same sort of changes in someone after they'd committed a crime. "

She looked at Tali's unmoving body. "It was still my fault. If I had just taken him down when I had the chance,"

"Then he'd be the one lying there, and you'd be blaming yourself just as much." Chakwas put in.

"Maybe, maybe not."

She looked at Chakwas. Do you know how long he'll be out?"

The doctor shrugged. "I don't know, probably another 4 hours at least. He was only knocked out a few hours ago."

Shepard stood up. "I'm going to go talk to Ashley, see how she's holding up. Let me know if anything changes with Tali."

She walked out to the elevator, and hit the button. She closed her eyes, still not understanding.

_I know that this wasn't his fault. But the question then is, whose fault is it?_

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I groaned as pain shot through my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings.

It only took me a moment to recognize the room as a cell. The energy field in place of bars was a pretty big clue.

I didn't blame Shepard for locking me up; I would have locked me up under the circumstances too. I had let my guard down, and let Iron take over.

_I should have never trusted him. _

Last time I had faced him, I had control; it had been my mind. Now, we'd be on even footing again. I knew enough about him to guess that he'd attack next time I fell asleep.

_But then, why didn't he attack me now?_

The room seemed darker than it should have been, like a light was missing. Then I realized why. I looked at myself in a wall, and my reflection shined back.

But my eyes no longer glowed, and the slight light they always gave off was gone. _They must have given me something to cancel out my Biotics. _

I chuckled as I remember what I had called them. But the memory tugged at something.

_"Tell her to bring lots of anti-biotics then. Someone's going to need them." He threw the knife, hitting Tali in the gut. She doubled over, her suit already pumping her full of disinfectants. She fell to her knees, losing consciousness. _

_"I think that's yours" The evil voice laughed wildly._

That had been when I'd blacked out from blood loss.

I slumped against the wall again. _Tali might be dying because of me._

I wanted to cry, but I somehow didn't even have the energy.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"Ashley?" She turned to Shepard.

"What's up skipper?" Her eyes were red, and there were still streaks running down her cheeks.

"How are you holding up? Seeing Bourne like that was tough on the rest of us, but,"

"I care about him more than anyone. If I lose him to that thing" She trailed off, looking away.

" You think he's going to let a little thing like that keep him from you?"

"He already did. He's locked in the brig, and you put a pair of guards on him."

Shepard shook her head, then looked around quickly. The closest person to them was the req officer, and he was busy going over a new shipment.

"I didn't really post guards there. I only said that to make the rest of the crew feel safer. I know just as well as you do that this isn't his fault."

"I still can't believe this. Tali may not be my best friend or anything, but she didn't deserve what happened."

Shepard sighed. "None of us deserve this. But maybe I should have listened to him before."

"What do you mean?"

Shepard hesitated; this wasn't hers to tell. But Ashley deserved to know.

"You remember that day we went to Flux? How distant Bourne was?"

"Yeah. He wasn't cheered up until he got in a fight" Ashley chuckled. Then she sobered as she remembered exactly what knife had stabbed Tali.

"But that isn't important. The reason why he was so distant, was that he was beating himself up"

"Jason was self-loathing? That doesn't seem like him."

"It might have been my fault too." Shepard admitted grudgingly. "The reason they called us up to the loading bay was that a girl who'd been taken from mindoir had escaped and stolen a gun."

"From mindoir? As in…"

"She was from the same village as me. But I managed to hide, and the Batarians never found me. She watched her parents be vaporized in front of her, and subjected to horrors for years.  
>"She wouldn't even talk about herself as 'me'. She always talked in the third person. I tried to calm her down, but she put the gun to her head."<p>

"Bourne was angry with himself because she killed herself?" Ashley guessed.

"No, he was angry at himself because he stopped her from killing herself."

Ashley stared at her in confusion. "You're going to have to run that by me again Skipper."

"While I'd been talking to her, failing to help her, he had slid down the edge of the platform, and poised himself to spring.  
>"When she put the gun to her head, he leaped over the side and injected her with a sedative."<p>

Shepard looked away in shame. "I was angry. He had done it against her will. And he had saved her life. Not how I would have done it, but he saved her."

She stood up suddenly, pacing. "My way would have just ended with her dead, and I was too blind to see it at the time."

"Shepard, don't beat yourself up."

"That's not why I'm beating myself up. I think he tried to warn me afterwards."

She took a deep breath. "He said that he wasn't a Hero. That he was just somebody who'd had a weird stroke of luck. That he never wanted any of this. He said he'd be the villain to save a life if he had to."

"Well that's bullshit!"

Shepard had to laugh at Ashley's straightforwardness. "That's what I told him." she stopped smiling. "But he didn't believe me. And I've noticed other things, things I haven't thought about before. He always seems to blame himself. You must have seen how he was after Fai Dan."

"Shepard, what are you trying to say?"

" He's hiding something Ash. Something big. He threatened to kill Shiala if she tried doing anything to his mind."

Ashley's face twisted in anger.

"And before you say it, I don't think she did anything. But when I questioned him on the way up there, he said something similar to me. That is was worth killing over."

"That can't have been what he meant."

Shepard groaned. "For someone so distrustful, I think you place a little too much trust in him."

"I don't know if you remember Shepard, but he saved my life back on Therum. If he hadn't done…whatever it is he did, I'd be dead.  
>"And he saved your life from that Asari clone a lot more recently."<p>

Shepard sighed. "What do you want me to do? He tried to kill us."

"He tried to save us. It was that monster that tried to kill us. That thing would have butchered us if Bourne didn't fight back." She stopped suddenly. "Maybe… Maybe it's something the merc band did to him."

"I… Don't think so." Shepard didn't know why she wasn't telling Ashley what else she'd squeezed out of him, but she trusted her gut in this case. "I just hope he's still himself when he wakes up."

**Bourne.**

I slowly got to my feet, noticing the bands of metal around my wrists and ankles. I took a closer look at the one on my left wrist, and saw a small glowing circle. A quick look on the one I had on my right showed that there was one there as well. They looked like they produced some sort of mass effect feild

_Must be to contain me when they activate._

I was surprised Shepard had taken the chance of leaving my hands free, _but I guess I'm not really a threat without my Biotics._

I still stood, stretching my legs. As much as I hated to admit it, my main thoughts had to be on me.

_Tali is important, but her fate isn't in my hands. I need a plan, some explanation for Iron. _

I tried, but I couldn't think of one. The strongest lie I could think of was that the Cipher had done it. But since Shepard had it too, there wasn't a way to back it up. _Maybe since I'm a biotic and she isn't?_

I dismissed the idea, knowing that it would never be strong enough.

_They trusted me, and I failed them. I'm the reason Tali is dying._

Then I thought about it. _But then again… If she was dead…_I grimaced at the thought, _I'd have heard by now. Maybe I actually saved her._

_She isn't destined to die yet. I'd bet money that the knife didn't hit anything vital. _

It was a small hope, but it brought me out of my wallowing.

I still had bigger worries anyway. _What happened to Iron?_

I didn't remember anything after being knocked out; no dreams of him this time.

Tali might have been on the edge, but I wasn't this time. _It must have kept Iron from getting a strong enough grip._

But I could no longer sense him, not even a little bit. _Is it possible that the knife was his last act of vengeance against me?_

I shook my head. Letting my guard down was dangerous. Until I was sure I was done with him, I had to stay vigilant.

_It's my fault that she's almost dead, but I'm also the only thing keeping Tali alive. I'm the only thing standing between Iron and everybody else. He might not be a god, but in a lot of ways he's more dangerous than Saren._

**Tali.**

"Uggh."

"Chakwas! I think she's waking up!"

"I'm right here Garrus, there's no need to shout."

Tali's eyes opened slowly. She didn't recognize where she was.

"Tali? Can you hear me?"

It hurt to move, but she slowly turned her head to look at Garrus. "Barely. This helmet isn't great at carrying sound." She joked.

"Thank the spirits! We thought you were a goner."

She slowly sat up, then groaned and clutched at her stomach.

"Take it easy Tali, you took a pretty bad wound."

"What happened? The last thing I remember is Bourne… Wait, Bourne did this?"

Garrus nodded slowly. Tali leaned her head back on the bed. She realized unattachedly that was inside of a plastic bubble, not so different from the one she'd had as a child.

"Why?" She finally asked.

"I don't know. But when I find out…" Garrus let the threat hand in the air.

Tali chuckled. "At least you can work on the Mako by yourself."

"Actually, it's been working fine for days. I was just making thing up so I could spend time with you."

Tali turned to look at him. "Wait a minute, you were only doing so we could talk? I thought you hated having to share?"

"I did at first, but that was more because I'm stubborn" he chuckled. "It was my idea to bring you to Flux and cheer you up, did Bourne or Shepard tell you that?"

"I think Bourne might have mentioned it. What does that have to do with anything?"

Garrus hesitated, then said something too quietly for Tali to hear

"What?"

"I wanted to spend time with you for a reason."

"Garrus, what are you trying to say?"

He looked away. "Nothing. I just consider you a close friend, and I don't like seeing you hurt."

Tali read his body language. "Are you… You're attracted to me?"

Garrus looked back in shock.

"I'm right." Doubt entered her voice"Aren't I?" She realized how foolish she must sound.

"Yes. I've never considered interspecies dating, but… I care about you. When you were on Therum I ended up pacing the ship before I realized I was really looking for you."

Tali was shocked. She didn't even had words. She just stared at him.

Garrus turned away. "I know. It's crazy. We hardly even know each other anyway."

Tali realized that with the helmet, he couldn't tell what she was thinking. "No! It isn't that Garrus… I just wasn't expecting this."

She put her hand against the bubble. "But I feel the same way about you. I just didn't realize until I felt that knife hit me in the gut. My last thought was that I might never see you again."

Garrus put his hand against the bubble. "You're just about the only friend I have in this crazy universe."

"What about Shepard or…"

"Shepard's my commander first and foremost." He shrugged. "That's kind of how we Turians are meant to think.  
>"As for Bourne, he just tried to kill both of us. We're a long way from friend."<p>

"How did you know I was going to ask about Bourne?"

"I've spent that much time with you at least."

Garrus took his hand away from the bubble. "I need to go make some repairs to my armor. Bourne dented pretty good."

Tali could see that it was in perfect condition, but didn't mention it. He probably just wanted time to think.

She knew that she did.

**Bourne.**

I thought, but there was no easy answer for my questions.

I had no idea what to tell Shepard. It would have to be believeable, but cover all my bases. But no matter how I thought about it, there wasn't any way to make something up.

I couldn't add on to the merc band; Shepard had gotten me to admit that the story wasn't true.

I couldn't blame anyone else, so that eliminated a lot of options.

_I don't have anybody but myself to blame for this._ I smirked darkly. _Well, I can blame Iron a little bit._

I needed an explanation.

Then I had an epiphany.

I thought about long and hard. _Can I trust Shepard with something like that?_

_I don't have a choice. Either she believes me, or I get thrown in the nut house. But if I can't provide an explanation for going crazy, I'll be thrown in there anyway._

_ I have to tell Shepard I'm not from this universe._

**Shepard.**

"I don't know Liara. He's my friend, and Ashley is head over heels for him"

She blinked. "What?"

"In love with him. And he cares about her too. I don't know what I can do. He tried to kill all of us."

Shepard sat down on the bed across from her.

"Shepard, I don't know any more than you do. But I don't think that he's evil. And that being threatening us was nothing less than pure evil."

"That's no explanation. I need a reason. I have to know that he's still the same person I thought he was."

Liara stood up and came over. "Raptor, you already know that. You were right about us, why not about him?"

"I… You're right." She turned to face her. "I just need to talk to him." She turned back away. "But if I'm wrong?"

"You aren't." Liara said with conviction.

"At least Tali looks like she'll pull through." She smiled. "Or Chakwas says so anyway. I can't tell with the suit."

Liara chuckled. "Go talk to him. I'll be here when you get back."

"I'm holding you to that Ms. Tsoni" Shepard smiled.

She stepped into the med bay. Tali was doing some suit repair from where she'd been stabbed. The damage was surprisingly minor.

Shepard said hi to her, but Tali was obviously distracted and didn't answer.

_Maybe she can't hear me inside the bubble _She just shrugged and walked out.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later she was in front of Bourne's cell. She did a quick check to make sure no one else was around; if he did go crazy again, she didn't want anybody to know. It would only demoralize the crew further.<p>

Making sure that the restraints could be activated at a moment's notice, she deactivated the barrier and stepped into the cell. Bourne was facing the wall, his back to her. "Tali?" he asked.

"She'll pull through." Shepard answered.

Bourne remained silent. Shepard leaned against the wall, ready to wait him out.

"You aren't going to ask what happened?" he asked blandly.

"I figure you'll tell me. It's that or you'll stay locked up in here."

He was silent for a minute. "Shepard, let me ask you something first. Why did you pick me to be your second?"

Shepard was caught off guard. "You're a good fighter, and you seemed like I could trust you."

He shook his head. "That isn't an answer. Why not Ashley or Kaiden? Why me?"

Shepard tried to come up with something, but couldn't.

"You don't know, do you? It was just a spur-of-the-moment decision, wasn't it?"

Shepard hesitated, but it was the truth. "I don't know. I guess it was."

"You want to know why? I'll tell you." He stood up. "You want to know what happened in the comm room? I'll tell you that too." He turned to face her, and Shepard lowered a hand to restraint control.

"I'm tired of the lies Shepard. Sick and Tired of them." he turned away again. "You were right. I'm not from Omega."

He looked at her over her shoulder. "If anyone deserves the truth, it's you."

He turned away again. "My name isn't Jason Bourne either. I don't remember my real name. I don't remember much of anything from my other life."

"Bourne, what are you talking about?"

"The Truth."

* * *

><p><strong>And cue soul-crushing cliff hanger. I can't wait to see how many people I piss off by ending it there.<strong>

**And yes, that is the reason Bourne and Tali aren't going to happen. Garrus has caught her eye instead. But if you have tips on how to develop that, let me know. There aren't as many fics like that, so I don't have much I can use to help. **

**Until next time, Sayonara and happy holidays.**

** Next time: The Truth**


	39. The Truth

**Ok, fine I'll stop with the cliff hangers. Next chapter.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, they wouldn't have censored out all the action in ME2. In the first game you get a shot of Liara's… azure, but in the second game, you don't see much more than them making out. (And they don't show a certain Quarian's face. That's also lame.)**

**Edit : Also, thanks to Aderran for the suggestion of a change. I think his line was a lot better. **

* * *

><p>Shepard stared at him. "What the hell do you mean 'the truth'? enough with the riddles already, just get to the point. I want to know, and I want to know now!"<p>

Bourne laughed harshly. "Excuse me for trying to be dramatic. What use is a story if you aren't hanging on to every word, waiting for what'll happen next?"

"Either tell me what's going on…"

"I promised I would. But you have to promise me something too. What I'm about to tell you can't leave this room. You have to keep it between us." He shrugged. "Well, I guess Liara would pick it out of your head at some point, but she could've picked it out of mine just as easily."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "Why should I trust you? You already went rouge once, what's to stop it from happening again?"

"Do I have your word? Because if I don't, you're just wasting your own time, and Saren is getting farther away."

Shepard sighed. "Alright, I'll hear you out. But if I think it needs to be said, I'll say it."

He turned to her. "Not good enough." He crossed his arms. "But it'll do for now."

He closed his eyes. "You remember how I said I'd had a very weird stroke of luck to end up here?"

"I remember."

"I'm not from this period of time."

Shepard stared at him blankly. "Wait, are you saying you're from the future or something?"

"Where, or I should say when, I'm from, you and your crew are little more than myths or legends. Legends changed over time. In some stories, you're a hero, others the most ruthless villain in existence. Half the time you aren't even a chick."

Shepard looked at him, laughing. "Really Bourne? That's the best explanation you can come up with?"

She looked up at him, and saw his face. There wasn't a trace of amusement on it. She stopped laughing. "You're serious."

He nodded.

"How?" _I can't wait to hear this one. Unless… what if he's telling the truth?_

He shook his head. "I don't know. The last thing I remember is being in my home, a storm raging outside. There was a flash of lightning. Next thing I know, I'm on Eden Prime in Armor I'd never seen, with weapons and equipment I'd only see in vids; only read about in books."

Shepard turned away. She could tell he hadn't moved though. "That's why you were so surprised to see me. I was only a myth in your time."

"It was unexpected." He deadpanned. "I had…studied your feats. Several versions of them actually. The details might have changed a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, by that time, you were very… moldable to suit the story teller. There wasn't any hard evidence to support the different versions,  
>and so people all had their own takes. Who you loved, where you were from, what you were famous for even."<p>

She back to him. "Stop the riddles. How did you know it was me then? If I'm so different you're your versions?"

"I think I knew it instinctively. I'm being as clear as I can, but a lot of this…it's confusing. And my memory is a jumbled mess.  
>"When I said I have no <span>memories <span>of family, I mean I don't remember them at all. I'm not even sure if I had siblings or not. I don't have any solid memories besides right before I was zapped here. I still know all the things I knew, but I don't remember learning them.  
>"I don't even remember my real name. I didn't realize it at the time. I thought I was using a false name to hide what I was. But instead, I was choosing a name for myself"<p>

He slumped against the wall. "And it couldn't have been more appropriate."

Shepard felt sympathy for him, she couldn't help it. But then she realized what his knowledge meant.

"Wait, just how much did the "stories" change?"

"Some things happened in all of them."

"Like me getting the vision? Did you know that it would happen?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I did. I was selfish, and manipulated events so I received it too. I don't think it was the blast that knocked you out, it was the vision. I was ready for it, but you weren't. I convinced myself that it would better with me helping you too."

"How many other things have you manipulated?"

"Only that." He hesitated. "Well, the only thing I've done intentionally." He laughed harshly. "Have you ever read any science fiction with time travel?"

Shepard shrugged. "Maybe once or twice. I've always liked war novels better."

He shook his head. "Then should I explain what I mean when I say I'm a paradox?  
>"My being here changes things. Hopefully not too far."<p>

He looked her in the eye. "That's why you made me a Spectre. Time didn't want to bend too far. This way you can stay the hero, and I can just be a side note. And if I die, so much the better for the universe."

Shepard crossed her arms. "That would explain a lot. But what about-"

"What about me going crazy and tearing you guys apart?"

"More or less."

He stood. "Well, here's the part you might not like. He's you."

Shepard waited for him to explain, trying hard not to punch him.

"He's an alternate reality version of you. What would have happened if you'd grown up in the slums of earth, and fought on torfan, instead of…"

"Instead of Akuze?" she guessed.

He nodded.

"Why is that always such a sore spot for you? You act like it's your fault."

"In a way, it might be. I didn't just travel in time, this is an alternate reality. You've heard about the infinite universe theory? Where whenever we make a choice, two universes spring into being, one where we made the choice and one where we didn't?  
>I never really believed it, but I think it's possible to an extent. And I think I subconsciously picked this version of the universe to land in. The last "version" of you I… read about, was you. Down to the purple eyes and sniping skills."<p>

She raised a hand towards her face before she realized it. "My eyes were badly damaged by what happened on mindoir. The dust particles kicked up from the ships, the bright lights of the lasers; I was nearly blind when they found me in the rubble of my house. I'd been trapped for days. They only just managed to save my eyesight with these implants.  
>"Half the reason I prefer a sniper rifle is that they told me I'd never be able to use it. I proved them wrong."<p>

He nodded. "That's what I mean when I say I don't really know you. Things like that were left to the imagination.  
>"And with one version, my imagination ran very dark."<p>

"This… other me?"

"He's everything you aren't. He's ruthless, evil, pyscotic, actually Heterosexual" he joked.

"Very funny. You know that I'm actually Bise-"

"Shepard! Just cause I joke about doesn't mean I want the fucking details!"

"Was that intentional?"

"No. Maybe. Point is, Iron Shepard is now stuck in my head."

"You have a multiple personality disorder?" That was the easiest explanation. Shepard knew it was BS as soon as she said it.

"I wish. Then I could down a few pills and be done with him. Instead, I have to guard my thoughts constantly. If I give him a foot hold… you saw what happened, you heard him. He's evil; the word doesn't even do him justice. Hell would be boring to him."

Shepard didn't want to believe that she could be so evil; alternate reality or not, that seemed rather extreme. But she knew he was telling the truth. It was in his very words. He'd taken a risk and let down his barriers. He'd only done it once before, but he was doing it again now.

"You can see why I don't want that getting out. Either people will think I'm insane, or they'll try to use me."

"Use you? Use your knowledge you mean?"

"That's why I was so quick to jump on the idea of being your XO. I wanted to help choose the best paths."

"But if the wrong person got their hand on it…"

He nodded. "Even the few things I know could be disastrous."

"Like what?"

He stayed silent.

"You aren't going to tell me?" She asked incredulously.

"I have to change as little as possible. I'm not going to tell you anything. Even if you promised not to let it affect your choices, it would. You wouldn't be able to help yourself. It's already impacted my choices." He said bitterly. "If you don't trust me…. Good. You shouldn't. I will change things. God knows I've been changed.  
>"I wasn't a biotic before. I got those powers from Iron. Hell, I'd never even fired a gun outside a range. That's on him too. Almost all my talents are all from him. If I had a choice, I'd be rid of them in a heartbeat."<p>

He took a deep breath. "But I don't have a choice. For better or for worse, I'm stuck here. And I've done too much to leave it like this."

Shepard turned away. "You're right. I shouldn't trust you."

"You should just shoot me and say that I attacked you."

She turned on him in shock. "What?"

"I thought you said it was the eyesight that'd be damaged, not the hearing. I'm dangerous. I'm a risk. And I will cause people to die because I won't do what I should. I'll do what I have too in order to keep the timeline the same. "

Shepard shook her head. "But if it would happen anyway, how's it your fault? You said that you can't change things, so don't change them. That isn't your fault."

He didn't reply.

"You say that you aren't a hero, but you saved my life. You saved Ashley's life."

"And I'm the reason that Tali is in the medbay."

"You're right. You're the reason she's not in a box in space. Or being shipped back to the flotilla."

He closed his eyes. "To a point. I might be keeping her form dying because this isn't her time. What you mean by it is something else entirely."

Shepard took a step closer. "You know when she might die?"

"Shepard, when you're worried about her dying, you'll be worried about your whole squad dying."

"I worry every time I bring them into combat. I never want to experience Akuze again."

He again stayed silent.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "I understand what you must be going through."

"Do you?" he said, brushing her off.

"You're having to keep things from me, even though you want to tell me with every fiber of your being."

His silence was clearly a yes.

"I understand why you might want to leave, but I need you. Ashley needs you. What would it do to her if you walked out?"

"She'd have a happier life without me in it."

"You don't know that."

"I do." There was no room for argument in his tone.

"Bourne, I feel crazy for believing you, but my gut says it's true. It would explain a lot. But there's one thing I don't understand."

He looked up at her.

"Why do you want to stay? If you want to go, I wouldn't blame you. This wasn't your choice."

"No, it wasn't. But it's my responsibility." He chuckled. "Heard a saying once. 'duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather.' I never believed it before. I sure as hell believe it now."

He looked away. "It's your choice. If you want me to stay, tell the others. If you want me gone, I'll go. I'm tired of making your choices for you."

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. "Don't answer now. Go and think about it."

"Bourne… I'll be back later."

He didn't look at her as she left.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I didn't want her to see me. I was a liar, and now she knew it. She knew what I was, and I hoped I hadn't made a huge mistake.

I looked at the controls for my restraints. I had taken them from her when I brushed off her arm. She'd been to sympathetic to notice. _Well, at least I didn't make the mistake of telling her that she wasn't just myth. She was complete fiction._

I took a moment to study the controls, then released my restraints. The room became less dim as the suppressants ceased to be pumped into my system.

I rubbed my wrists, restoring the circulation to my hands. _Iron might have been insane before, but maybe that's why he hates me. Because he knows I'm the one that created him. That's what drove him over the edge._

_(Very astute of you.)_

_)You don't die, do you?(_

_(Nope.)_

_)Hmmph. Figures. Let me guess, 'I'm going to kill you, I'm evil, I'm a god, blah blah blah.' Right?(_

_(Something like that, yes. Luckily for you, I let my one chance slip away. Instead of warping your own head, or slitting your throat with your own hand, I tried killing everyone else. )_

_)Lucky me.(_

I peeked out of the cell, making sure nobody was around.

_(So what half-assed plan have you come up with this time?)_

I didn't bother replying. I found a maintenance hatch and climbed inside, making my way to another level.

_) I lied to Shepard about staying. I'm not going to stay here and put my friends at risk.( _ I snorted. _)If I can even call them friends now.(_

_(Ugh, the feelings you have about leaving Ashley are just disgusting. I may make you puke.)_

_)You already make me want to puke you sick bastard.(_

I put my ear against the hatch, listening for nearby voices. I didn't hear anything, so I slowly raised the hatch and looked around. I was in the cockpit, but I was alone. _Joker must be sleeping. _Then I looked out the window and realized we'd docked at the citadel. _Or he might be out. I doubt it, but you never know._

A quick look around showed I was alone, and I darted into the airlock.

I felt the absence of my gun on my thigh. I hated it.

I jumped as I heard the VI say that I'd left the ship, and hoped that it hadn't been broadcast to the ship. But if it had, they'd be following me in minutes. I saw a nearby crate and lifted it Biotically. I set it down in front of the entrance. It wouldn't stop them, but it might slow them down. I looked at the elevator, but decided against it.

It was too slow, and they might call ahead to C-sec. Or they might be able to stop it mid travel and catch me then. _I need another route._

I looked down at a docking platform on a lower level.

_(Oh, no. You're aren't thinking of-)_

I jumped from the platform, arms spread to slow me down. I  
>activated my Biotics, slowing my descent. I rolled instinctively as I landed. I looked up at the Normandy, far above.<p>

_(And you say I'm crazy.)_

I ignored him. I activated my Omni tool and brought up a full map of the citadel. The elevator in front of me would bring me to the wards.

I shook my head. _Not far enough._

I jumped again, falling for almost half a minute. Even with my Biotics, the impact knocked the breath out of me. I brought up the map again. This elevator led to the wards as well.

I mentally face palmed. _Duh, the other wards are on the citadel's other arms. I'm not going to get there by jumping around. _I activated the elevator hastily.

_If I'm going to escape, I need a better way._

_(You're running?) _ I had the sense of him doubling over in laughter. _(Oh that's just rich. I never pegged you as a coward.)_

_(I'm not running to save myself.) _I stepped out of the elevator into the lower wards, not far from where I'd first met Tali.

_(I'm running to save them.)_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"What? You want him freed?" Garrus asked incredulously.

"With all due respect commander, have you gone insane?" Kaiden agreed.

Shepard stood facing the others, Liara and Ashley standing next to her.

Wrex and Garrus were on either side of Tali. Kaiden was facing her as well. They were on one side of the argument, the three women were on the other.

"You can't be serious! He tried to kill all of us. He nearly succeeded with Tali!"

"He explained what happened." She said calmly. "But he swore me to secrecy." It wasn't completely a lie, but she had sworn herself to it. He was right. This was too big to get out. He seemed ok with her telling Liara, but that was more because it was unavoidable. She hadn't told Ashley the full story; it wasn't hers to tell.

She had only told her that it had been another mind in control of his, possible from the Cipher. Ashley had been skeptical, but she and Shepard agreed that it wasn't Bourne. Liara had naturally trusted Shepard, even without Shepard telling her what he'd said. She simply told her to explain later.

Shepard had to agree. It was more important to convince the others.

"Secrecy? What is this, a spy vid?" Wrex rumbled. Shepard was privately amazed that he'd agreed to be here at all. The med bay was cramped for him, even without the others.

"If I thought it was important, I'd tell you."

Garrus shook his head. "Shepard, commander or not, I'm not just going to stand by here."

"Normally I trust your judgment Shepard, but not now." Kaiden said.

"Have you forgotten how many times he's saved us?" Ashley objected.

"Did you forget that the three of us Biotics saved him, yet he was quickest to take us out?"

"He does have a point Shepard." Liara said.

"See? You're outnumbered five to two."

" I did not say that I agreed with you, I was simply saying that you had a point. I believe Shepard."

"Yeah, that tends to happen. You believe your bondmate more than others." Wrex rumbled.

"It isn't your call this time. It's mine." Shepard put in. "I know it wasn't Bourne's fault. When he went crazy, he still said something true. None of us know just what he's been through. He only told me because he had to."

Tali had been silent throughout most of the exchange, but she spoke up now. "When I nearly killed him by activating that mining laser, you all told me it wasn't my fault. Now Bourne does something similar, and you're ready to throw him off the ship?"

"Tali, that's different." Garrus said.

"We both made mistakes. We almost killed each other. How different is that?"

"She's right." Shepard said, grateful for the backup. "If this were to happen again, I'd listen to you. But I think this was just a fluke accident. Bourne shouldn't be blamed."

Garrus crossed his arms. "I still think this is a bad idea, but ok. I'll trust you. But next time, I'll put a round between his eyes."

"If it came to that, I'd do it myself." Shepard said.

Ashley opened her mouth to reply angrily, but was cut off by the voice of the Normandy VI. "XO Bourne has left the Normandy. In the event that the CO is unable to command, Navigator Pressley will have the deck."

They stared upwards in silence.

"He ran?" Ashley said

"But he was in the brig." Kaiden said in the same surprised tone. "How did he get out?"

Shepard felt at her side for the controls to the door and his restraints. There wasn't anything there.

"Damn it. He must have stolen the controls when I wasn't looking."

"But if he is innocent, why did he run?" Liara asked.

"Maybe he's not so innocent after all" Wrex suggested.

"He said he'd leave if I didn't want him here. Maybe he knew you wouldn't want him here." Shepard suggested.

"You didn't mention that part Skipper." Ashley said. "But do we go after him?"

The others looked at each other.

Garrus eventually broke the silence. "If he's innocent, he should stay. And if he isn't, we need to bring him to justice."

Shepard turned to the door. "Then let's find him. How far could he have gotten?"

The rest followed, save for Tali of course.

Shepard's mind raced. _I believe him, but can I convince the others that he's innocent? Or will he have to tell them too?_

_And will they believe him if it comes to that?_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, this is the last cliff hanger for a while, I promise. Next chapter won't end right in the middle of the story.<strong>

**Until next time, Sayonara!**


	40. Stay or go?

**Ok, no cliff hanger at the end this time. I promise. Maybe. You'll just have to read to find out.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, you'd be able to Shoot Prazza yourself. The guy's a dick. The mech was too good for him.**

**Accuse me of working with terrorists willingly… Bourne might just have to get some revenge for me.**

**I think my main motivation to finish this first story is so that I can write a sequel by this point. I'm already thinking about storylines (for both versions) and how many people Bourne can annoy, kill, or generally piss off.**

**But maybe I should go back to doing that for this one.**

* * *

><p>Shepard thanked the shop owner, then walked out, trying not to let her frustration show. <em> Damn it, he didn't see Bourne either. <em>She walked to where the others were waiting.

" Any ideas?" Shepard asked the team.

"I can't think of any places we haven't checked. Shepard, we've been searching for nearly 2 hours. Don't you think we'd have seen him if he was here?" Garrus replied.

"Huh. You give up too easily Turian. If he'd left the citadel, we'd know. The only way he'd be able to get off would be using his Spectre Statis. The council would have called to complain if that'd happened." Wrex rumbled.

"He has a point Garrus." Kaiden put in. "This place is pretty big, and he had a good 30 minute lead."

Looking at the other five, standing in their armor, Shepard shook her head. "No wonder we can't find him; we stick out too much. And we need to split up, cover more ground.  
>"Liara, Garrus, you're with me. You other three see if you can track him down somewhere else."<p>

"For someone that hasn't been here more than a few times, he seems to know it pretty well." Garrus muttered. "I wonder where's he's hiding?"

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(You really think that they won't find you here?)_

I cracked my knuckles, then hit the Quasar machine for another game. The music at Flux was a little loud for my taste, but it hid my presence well. _)Why not? It's the last place they'd think to check. Besides, I'll need some cash to get off this station, and this is the easiest place to earn it.(_

_(You aren't tired of that damn Volus accusing you of cheating every five minutes?)_

I shrugged. I had been getting very lucky with the machine, probably my abilities warping reality. _Worse thing that'll happen is that he'll have the bouncer throw me out. _I grinned. _Or try to anyway. I don't have a gun, but I'm hardly helpless._

Still, the pysco had a point. I went down to the lower deck and ordered a beer.

I thought about what I could do now. _I could try going bounty hunter. Heck, be almost appropriate considering what I said before._

_(Why don't you just join Cerberus ?) _Iron asked sarcastically.

But it made me pause.

_(Wait, you know I was joking, right?)_

_) It would almost make sense. I could help Shepard after she bites it, and who knows? Maybe I could bring it down from the inside. Wonder who I'd have to talk to about getting in?(_

_(As if you could with you bending reality left and right. I couldn't even kill one puny quarian. How do you expect to take down an entire terrorist organization?)_

I shut him out. I was still guilty about that.

I was shoved aside suddenly, and nearly knocked from my seat. "Watch it!" I grunted without thinking.

That was the thing about living where there were only humans. I hadn't spent enough time to think about what species I was addressing before I spoke.

The giant Krogan turned to me. "You say something human?"

_(Just punch him through the wall, get rid of some stress. You know you want to)_

_)I'm trying to keep a low profile, remember?(_

"Never mind."

"No, go ahead, say it to my face."

"You aren't worth it." I said, trying to avoid a fight. Then I saw his eyes widen in anger and surprise. Too late, I remembered that the worse insult I could throw at a Krogan was that he wasn't worth fighting.

"You must have a lot of guts to talk to me like that. Too bad I'm going to have to spill them on the floor now."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that's what the last guy who pissed me off said. Right before I beat the shit out of him."

He roared and swung at me. I dived out of my chair, looking for a way to get the advantage. I couldn't see any guns on him, but he was a Krogan so he could rip me half without weapons.

He charged at me, and dodged to the side, narrowly avoiding him. _So much for keeping a low profile_. I activated my Biotics, resigning myself to fighting him. I'd have to do it quick though, before the ruckus attracted attention, then make a hasty retreat.

"Stand and fight!" he shouted at me.

I threw him to the ground.

"Just get out of here before I have to hurt you."

He stood up, and I felt a slight crackling in the air. I instinctively put up a barrier, but was thrown backwards anyway. I hit the far wall and was almost surprised I didn't hear anything crack.

_Of course. Of all the people I have to piss off, I piss off a Biotic Krogan._

"This is going to be fun." He said, slamming a fist into the other.

_(I hate to take his side, but yeah it will be. Good luck without my help.)_

I got back to my feet. "That was a mistake."

"Hah. Show me what you've got human!"

I clapped, sending a ball of energy hurtling into him. _I really need a name for that._

He tumbled to the ground, and I followed it up with a warp field.

I walked over him, aiming a fist at his face. "Had enough?"

He raised his hands over his face. "Enough! I submit!"

"Good answer." I turned my back on him, trying to look like I was calmly walking out of here.

I saw a flash of blue in the reflective walls and ducked, narrowly avoiding his warp field. turned to see him pulling a pistol out of a hidden holster.

_Well great. Just great. _

I put up a barrier, letting the round bounce off. He stopped to let it cool, and I rushed at him. He just caught me one handed and threw me into a wall.

He lifted me one handed, putting the gun to my head. "Any last words human?"

**Shepard. **

"I hate to say it Shepard, but what if the others are right?" Liara asked as they combed through the markets.

"We just need to find him first." Shepard said, avoiding the question. _It seems unbelievable, but I still think he was telling the truth. It would explain why I wanted him as Spectre, but there's a few things he didn't explain. His unwillingness to tell me about the future is also suspicious. Even if he can't change anything, he could at least warn me. What's the worse that might happen?_

"What if he doesn't want to come?" Garrus asked.

"I'll cross that bridge when I get to it."

Suddenly, they heard shouts and screaming coming from Flux. Then a few gunshots.

Shepard glanced at the others.

"How much do you want to bet that's Bourne?" Garrus asked sarcastically.

"I got five creds." Shepard said in the same sarcastic tone. "Come on, let's get over there." She broke into a sprint, followed by the others.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I tried to pry his hand off my neck, but his grip was too strong. It was all I could do to breathe. Of course the gun pointed at my face didn't really help.

"Nothing to say? Not surprising from a quadless human"

_(I wish he'd just shoot you and stop talking.)_

"Last chance." He said, pressing the gun to my temple.

_Might as well go out on a good line. _I smirked. "Tell me something. You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

His face twisted in confusion. "What?"

It was just the distraction I needed. I grabbed the arm holding his gun and shoved it to the side. He fired on instinct, but my head was no longer in the way. "Just something I stole from a vid. I liked the sound of it."

I warped his face point blank with my other hand, and he dropped me, clutching the wound in pain._ I can't believe that actually worked._

I grabbed his gun from his hand, and fired into his chest a few times. He dropped, already healing, and I made a break for the exit.

I ran face first into Garrus. Luckily my sudden appearance took them off guard. Liara and Shepard put their hands up to try calming me, while Garrus dropped a hand to his side-arm.

I put Shepard and Liara in Stasis, then swept Garrus' legs out from under him. I was tempted to shoot him for trying to pull a gun on me, but I knew that that was just Iron.

He collapsed, swearing, and I made a break for it. _At least I have a gun now. Whoopty do._

_(Damnit! You just had to live! I swear, you have the devil's own luck!)_

I ignored Iron's ranting, and tried to think.There were only so many places I could hide.

_Well, they found me at one bar, so it wouldn't make sense to hit another one._

I smiled.

_Chora's den it is then. Why fix what isn't broken? _

_(I can't believe you haven't died yet.)_

_) Yeah, neither can I(_

**Shepard **

Shepard stood frozen, unable to move. She watched as Garrus got to his feet, drawing his pistol.

Suddenly the Stasis ended, and she collapsed forward. Liara did the same next to her.

"You alright commander?" Garus asked, helping them to their feet.

"I'm fine. I can't say the same of Bourne when I get my hands on him."

Shepard raised a hand to her ear piece, calling the other three. "Kaiden, Bourne's still on the Citadel. We just ran into him."

"Roger that. We're on the presidium now. If he comes here, we'll find him."

Ashley's voice broke in. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Only thing hurt is Garrus' pride." A krogan groaned nearby. "And a Krogan dumb enough to piss him off. But that's not too different than normal. I'll call you back in a minute."

She turned to Garrus. "You want to play bad cop with this guy?"

"Hopefully that won't be necessary. But if he doesn't want to tell about Bourne, I'd be more than happy to break a few fingers. I really want to punch Bourne now."

Shepard nodded, and went over to the Krogan, lying prone on the floor. "Looks like you had a rough day."

He spat on her boots. "Screw you c-sec. I'm not telling you anything."

Shepard shook her head. _Why is it people always choose the hard way instead of the easy way?_

She knelt down and drew her gun. "Look. I'm in a hurry here. So unless you want a few more bullet holes in you, start talking."

He grunted dismissively. Garrus fired a round into his leg. "There's plenty more where that came from."

He groaned. "Alright. I'll talk. That human got on my nerves, so I took a swing at him. Then the next thing I know, he put me on the ground Biotically. I wasn't going to stand for that. We exchanged some Biotics, and I tried to shoot him. Then he took the gun from my hands, shot me, and ran."

Garrus chuckled darkly. "You're lucky. He normally isn't sloppy enough to let thugs like you live."

"Garrus, enough. Let C-sec take it from here." Shepard said, getting back to her feet. "We still need to find him, and this time, let's not let him get away."

"Shepard, if you don't want to share all the details, I understand. But is it possible that Bourne was running to protect us from himself?" Liara asked.

It gave Shepard pause. "Maybe." She admitted. "But if that's the case, I want to hear it from him." she laughed bitterly. "I'm the one that got him Spectre Status. He's my responsibility."

_Just like how he thinks saving the universe is his responsibility. He's from a time when I'm just a legend, and he's an expert on the legends. But how can he be so worried about it then? If he's from the future, he knows how to stop the Reapers. Doesn't he?_

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I was actually glad I hadn't grabbed my armor before leaving the Normandy. There were just enough other humans here that I could go unnoticed.

But if I'd had my easily recognized armor on, _They probably wouldn't be all that happy with me for shooting this joint up._

I sat down at a table, away from the dancers in case Ash found me, and ordered a drink. _Hopefully I'll be able to finish this one._

I drank the beer slowly, watching the door. I made note of a side door in case I had to make a quick getaway.

It had occurred to me that I hadn't been able to hide from them for more than a couple hours the first time. I didn't know whether I was bending reality and it was making it easier for them to find me, or if I was just bad at hiding.

_(Did you consider the fact that you shot someone?)_

I ignored Iron. He was just a distraction. If I wanted to be distracted by something, there were scantily clad women everywhere.

I shuddered. _Thank god there aren't any Krogan women or something. _

_(Again, you're going to make me make you puke.)_

_)Again, really creepy with the mindreading.( _

I sighed, trying to come up with a plan. Right now I was just trying to avoid Shepard and Co until they returned to the Normandy to get some shut eye. I already knew I could run longer without sleep than most of them, so I'd just have to wait them out.

"You're in my booth human." I glanced out the speaker out of the corner of my eye. It was a turian, but without armor._ So I have to be careful not to kill him._

_(Lame. Just shoot him.)_

"First come, first served." I said, slowly lowering a hand down to where I'd stored my gun in a pocket.

He leaned across the table. "This is my booth. Nobody sits here but me."

I laughed. "Or else what?"

"Or else" he balled a hand into a fist, but I was faster.

I had my gun up and aimed at him before he could even draw back a fist.

"Get lost." I said in a bored tone. "I already shot one loser today, and I really don't feel like wasting more ammo."

"You can't just pull a gun on me!"

I grinned. "I just did."

He snarled and lunged towards me, but I just flicked my wrist and sent him flying on his ass.

"Might want to watch yourself on these floors. They can get pretty slippery."

I activated my biotics around my fist under the table; he could see it, but nobody else would notice. His eyes widened.

"I'm going. Wouldn't want to sit at a table you'd polluted anyway." I rolled my eyes at his tough-guy act, and raised my gun again.

He turned tail and ran like a baby.

I shook my head and put the gun away. Luckily it didn't seem like anybody had noticed.

I went back to planning. I didn't have many options, but I needed to decide on my best course of action.

Then I noticed someone had sat down in the chair across from me.

I turned to him, looking him over. I'd have guessed he was a mercenary, though his armor was different than what I'd normally seen. It had a bigger plate on his right side, and his gloves weren't connected. I could see plenty of tattoos on his exposed arms. He was muscular, though clearly advanced in years.

"Not bad. I'd have fired off a warning shot or two, but either way gets idiots like that to back off." He had an odd accent I couldn't place.

_Eh, what the hell. How much can it hurt to talk to this guy?_

I shrugged. "Why shoot somebody like him? Way I see it, only three reasons to kill somebody. You're getting paid," I figured I might as well get used to that if I was going to be a bounty hunter, "You're keeping yourself from getting killed, or the guy has it coming."

He laughed. "True enough."

He leaned back in the chair, holding a drink of his own. I could see the tops of a pair of rifles on his back.

"Though personally, I like it best when it's all three."

I shrugged. He had a point. "Maybe."

"You look like you've had a shitty day. Girlfriend through you out?"

"Something like that."

"I've been around a long time; still don't understand women."

I chuckled. "What about Asari?"

He groaned. "Whatever idiot thinks they aren't women needs his eyes checked."

I thought of Shepard. "Tell me about it. A girl I know is dating one, and they both tell me that Asari don't count as chicks. The look on her face when I bring it up is hilarious."

"You know a brood dating an Asari? Lucky man."

"Don't feel so lucky today." I said bitterly.

"I noticed. Drinking alone just ain't the same. You have to be drinking alone at home, or at a bar with pals. Course I'm here on business, but that's different."

"Let me guess. Someone hired you to find someone?"

He laughed. "How'd you guess? The armor or the guns?"

"Maybe the fact you're at this bar for business instead of somewhere nicer like flux?"

He gestured to one of the dancers. " Flux doesn't have quite the same appeal. But this is nothing. You ever been to Afterlife? On Omega?"

"I've seen vids of it." I replied neutrally. I doubted this guy knew who I was, but no sense taking chances. "I've only been there once."

"I try to avoid clubs anyway. I had a friend of mine get killed in a fight in one. Most bars turn into death traps at the drop of a goddamn hat. Much safer to just find a place that serves drinks without all the morons trying to impress dancers that only care if they're getting paid.."

He chugged down the rest of his beer and ordered another one. "You look like you'd hold your own in a bar fight though."

I smiled. "Being able to throw someone through a wall helps."

"You alliance?"

"Depends. I might have pissed people off and be in need of a new job."

"You shoot the wrong person or something?"

I grimaced. "Let's just say I wasn't the most clear headed I've ever been at the time. Getting wasted and fighting is one thing, but when you happen to be Biotic and have a knife on you…" I shrugged and took a swig of the beer. "Usually doesn't end well."

He chuckled. "Yeah. Coworkers can really bite you in the ass sometimes. Someone I thought was a friend betrayed me, now I'm going to hunt him down and kill him." He clutched his hand into a fist by the end. "And that was when I was the boss."

"I know the feeling." I said, thinking of Iron, and what he'd caused me to do.

He glared at me. "No you don't. I've spent almost two decades trying to find him. And when I do, I'm going to put a gun to his head, and splatter his brains across the floor, like he tried to do with me."

_(If you'll pardon the interruption, your better half just walked in. Along with a very angry turian, and a few other friends of yours.) _I looked over and saw that he was right. Garrus looked pissed. _(So much for hiding here.)_

I grimaced, and dropped a few creds on the table. "Much as I'd love to keep talking to you, my friends just walked in. And I'd prefer to not be found gawking at Blue ass."

He waved a hand. "If they ask me, you weren't here. But if you're going to keep avoiding them, you better get that decided that now. Otherwise you're going to keep dodging them until one of you drops dead from exhaustion."

I scanned the bar, looking for a distraction. I saw a pair of Turians arguing and sent a small ball of energy at one's face. His head turned to the side, and he threw a punch at the other one.

"Don't worry, I think they'll have another problem to deal with" I muttered as Shepard rushed over to break it up.

I slid over to the nearby side door, tossing a singularity into the alarm mechanism to keep it in place.

"Thanks for the advice. What'd you say the name was?"

"I didn't. Name's Massani. You might want to get out of here before they finish dealing with those idiots."

I nodded, and slid out. I began sprinting away from the door. With any luck, they wouldn't…  
>then I stopped as my brain caught up with me.<p>

_(Took you long enough. Did you not even notice the shot up face? Or everything he said? How can it be this hard to kill you if you're such an idiot?)_

I shook my head. _No way is Zaeed being here a coincidence. _

I thought about risking a peek inside, but decided against it. _If I let Ashley get a glimpse of me, then I walk out, it'll break her heart. _

_(Sort of like it'll break her heart if you die?)_

I grimaced. _Arghh! This is too complicated. I can't stay with her, I just know that you'll kill her or someone else the second you get the chance._

_(Guilty as charged.)_

I leaned against the wall of the Alley. I didn't want to stay, but I didn't want to stay either.

I grimaced and looked at the gun I had taken. _This is who I could be._

I slowly crushed it with my Biotics. _But it's not who I am. _I dropped the remains on the ground.

I stood back up. _If I'm going to be stuck here, I'm going to do more than wallow in guilt. _

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard rubbed her temples as she stepped back through the airlock. Not only had Bourne escaped them, but she'd had to break up a bar fight.

She hadn't even wanted to check in there, but at least anybody who recognized her was smart enough to not make a fight out of it. Then they'd wasted another hour and a half before even Ashley was ready to quit.

Shepard smiled as Tali came walking up to them.

"Glad to see you're up and about again Tali."

"I was just heading out to help look. Did you find him?"

Garrus chuckled. "Briefly. He ran off before we could talk to him. After knocking me on my ass."

Shepard cleared her throat. "Maybe we should have this conversation in the com room where we usually debrief?" she said, heading there already. She could hear Tali and Garrus talking behind her.

"You worry too much Garrus. I did the suit repairs myself."

"You took a knife to the gut. Even if you aren't still at risk for an infection, shouldn't you be resting in bed?"

"Take it up with Doctor Chakwas, not me."

Shepard had to shake her head at their bickering.

"Save the arguing for later." She opened the door, stepping inside. She looked over her shoulder to ask their opinions, but Garrus' gaze was focused on something ahead of her.

Shepard turned back to the com room, and saw Bourne standing there with his back to them.

Garrus snarled, and pushed back Shepard, rushing towards Bourne.

He didn't even flinch as Garrus put a gun to the back of his head. "Get down on the ground with your hands behind your back."

Bourne chuckled. "Do you even still have hand restraints?"

"Don't test me Bourne."

Shepard opened her mouth to tell Garrus to stand down, but something held her back.

"You really going to shoot me Garrus? That doesn't seem your style."

"What would you know?"

Bourne didn't reply for a moment. "Are the rest of you here?"

Wrex activated his Biotics. "All seven of us. And you won't find it so easy to surprise us this time."

"If I had wanted to surprise you, I could have done it while you were busy dealing with those idiots in Chora's den."

Shepard sighed. "Let me guess. You used your Biotics to make one of them think the other one hit him?"

"Yep. I snuck out a side door while you were distracted. Say, how long did it take you to break up?"

Garrus interrupted. "Stop stalling Bourne. I don't want to kill you, but there are plenty of ways I can-"

He suddenly fell backwards. Bourne turned around, eyes glowing for a moment before they winked back to normal.

"For the record, I could have done that as soon as you stepped in here."

He flicked his wrist, revealing a single knife, and tossed it towards Shepard. It fell short by several feet, sliding to a stop on the ground. "Or thrown that with a little more… lethality."

He held his hands out. "There, I'm unarmed, as much as I can be, and you aren't."

He crossed his arms. "Will you at least hear me out? If I don't satisfy you, then you can shoot me."

Shepard stepped towards him. "Bourne, you have to tell them the truth."

Bourne looked at her. "I intend to. Not all of it, but they have a right to know what happened."

His eyes turned to Tali. "Some of you more than others."

He held out a hand to Garrus, who swatted it away and got up on his own. "Alright Bourne, I'll listen to you. But if I think you're lying…"

"I get the idea." He gestured towards the open seats. "You may as well take a seat, this might take a while."

The others sat down, but Garrus stood standing by Tali's chair, seemingly in case he tried to kill her again.

Bourne glanced at him, but turned his eyes back to the group as a whole.

" Like I said, I won't tell you everything. But I'll tell you what matters.  
>"When I was… created, I was infused with another personality, an evil one. But the procedure failed, and I ended up as quote 'too noble to be a mercenary. We should have killed you and started over' unquote. That was another reason I rebelled against the other mercs."<p>

Shepard bit her tongue. He was clearly lying right now, but Shepard guessed that he'd tell the important bits in between the lies.

"At least I thought that it failed. But when I ended up in a coma thanks to that damn Krogan's modded rounds…"

"That other personality managed to take over?" Shepard guessed.

He shook his head. "Not quite. He simply… reawakened. Before he could only dimly influence me. Make me violent, or more irritable. But rarely, and never strong enough for me to think anything of it. I could always overcome it. When I got shot, it brought it back. Iron, as it calls itself, could only… I suppose the best analogy is that it could whisper in my ear. I could "hear" him, and when I wanted to, I could talk to him. But I was the one in control."

He shrugged. "At least, until I got the Cipher. That's why I was so adamant that Shiala stayed out of my mind. I didn't want her discovering him now. He agreed that discovery wasn't a good policy."

He turned away. "He actually said that getting the Cipher would be unwise. He used reverse physiology to give him strength. He convinced me that if we worked together, we could keep her out. And if she had discovered something, I would be forced to kill her and say she'd tried to kill us."

He turned back to them. "I was an idiot to not notice! He influenced me, made me avoid all of you, fed on my doubts and grew stronger."

He grimaced. "Either he used the melding to join our minds further, or he used my weakness to take over."

He turned his head towards Kaiden. "When you brought up my past, it pissed me off. He managed to feed off of it and take control from there."

He laughed darkly. "I trust I need not explain what happened after that?"

Ashley spoke hesitantly. "When your Biotics turned red,"

"That was Iron. I tried to fight him off, but until Tali got me in the arm, and made me pass out, he was too strong."

He closed his eyes, then seemed to force himself to look at Tali and Garrus. "Him throwing that Knife was a last act of vengeance. He wanted to take one of you with him."

He turned away again, this time in shame. "I never wanted any of this to happen, I swear to you."

He took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep his composure. But Shepard could see him shaking slightly.

"I tried to flee because I knew the consequences of staying. Not of what you'd do to me, but what I might to do you by accident.  
>"I don't know if Iron is gone, or just biding his time. But I thought it was too risky to stay."<p>

Garrus looked almost sympathetic; it looked odd on a Turian. "Then why did you come back here?"

Bourne didn't answer for a moment. "I've been asking myself that question ever since I got in here. At first I came to explain myself, but now I think I came back to say goodbye. Or get brought to justice, or whatever would happen. You get the idea."

He turned back to them, his face carefully blank. "If you're smart, you'll tell me to leave. I'm a risk, I admit that now. Before I was stupid enough to deny it. Just say the words, and I'll pack my things and go."

Ashley got up and walked over to him. She reached a hand out to touch his shoulder, but he gently deflected it with his Biotics. His eyes stayed locked on Tali and Garrus, his real victims.

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with a slight movement of the hand.

Garrus eventually spoke. "If anybody should decide, it's Tali. She's the one you almost killed."

Tali shook her head a moment. "Shepard is the captain, not me."

Shepard looked at her in confusion, then at Bourne for an explanation, but his eyes stayed locked on Tali.

She hesitated. "I almost killed you, and you were adamant that it wasn't my fault. Why do you claim all the blame this time?"

He threw his hands up in anger. "Because on some level he is me! Every dark desire, every tempting sin, he's the very embodiment of that! I try to live a good life, but every time I'm faced with a choice, he's always there tempting me to look the other way while he does the most evil thing possible. It makes me sick just thinking about it. "

He lowered his hands, face expressionless again. "It might not have been my intent, but it's still my fault. My weakness." He looked down. "My failure."

"I thought about the same after I collapsed a cave on our heads. But you convinced me otherwise."

He chuckled. "Yes, well, you aren't nearly as stubborn as I am. If I could turn back time and avoid all of that, I would. But that isn't an option. All I can do is think about my future.  
>"But is on the Normandy, or off of it?"<p>

"If we're putting this to a vote, I say he stays. He wasn't responsible for his own actions." Kaiden put in.

Wrex grunted. "I've seen Krogan do things just as stupid when they ended up with the blood rage. Most of the time I let them off, long as they didn't do anything permanent. I don't see why that can't apply here." He pointed a finger at Bourne. "But the next time you point a gun at me, you won't be alive long enough to pull the trigger."

"Jason, you already know my vote."

Bourne nodded. "Be that as it may, I didn't ask you."

"I think you should stay Bourne. It wasn't your fault." Tali said.

Garrus hesitated, but nodded. "I won't forget this, but I can forgive it."

Bourne closed his eyes. "What about you Shepard?"

Shepard stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. This time he allowed it. "Bourne, not many people could do what you've done, and have the guts to admit it. I don't care why else I picked you as a Spectre, but I trust you."

Bourne looked at her, telling her he understood.

"Thank you. I'd say you wouldn't regret this, but I don't know if that's true or not." He walked past them to the door, pausing at the threshold. He looked back at them over his shoulder. "Last chance."

Shepard shook her head. "Bourne, it wasn't you. I still trust you."

Bourne flicked his hand, and something flew from his boot. A moment later, Shepard realized it was a knife, though he'd said he was unarmed.

"You shouldn't trust me. I've said it before, but I'll say it for the others to hear. I'm not a hero like you Shepard. I make sacrifices when I have to." His voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I only hope the good outweighs the bad." He flicked his wrist again, and the knife returned to where it had been.

"I hope coming back wasn't a mistake." He left the door close behind him.

The silence was like thunder as they looked at the door.

"Well, that was unexpected." Wrex said dryly. "But I always knew he was crazy."

Shepard shook her head. "He's a lot of things, but he's not crazy. That "Iron" wasn't him."

They heard a loud thump coming from a deck below. It sounded like he'd punched the wall with his Biotics.

"You sure he isn't crazy?"Kaiden said dryly.

"No. But he isn't as much of a danger as he makes himself out to be. And despite his differences, we do have the same goal"

She looked at the rest of them. "He wants to stop Saren just as much as I do. I don't know his full reasoning, but we can trust him that far."

Ashley stood up. "I'm going to go talk to him."

They heard another loud crash coming from below decks.

"Maybe you should give him a chance to cool off a little first." Kaiden said.

"Yeah. Good idea LT."

**Bourne.**

I managed to keep my composure until I got into the elevator. Then I drew a fist back and slammed it into the wall. My Biotics left a dent in the wall with a satisfying thud.

_( See, now why didn't you just do that to Kaiden?)_

_)Shut up!( _I raged in my head.

_(Tsk. Tsk. Such a temper.)_

It was amazing I hadn't lost control in the middle of them. His words had left me quivering with anger. And shame.

I would have been almost willing to lose a hand to get him out of my head.

_(Really? I wonder if that could be arranged.)_

Having him in my ear the whole time didn't help much when I was trying to stay calm and warn them.

I sighed. _As much as I wanted to hit Garrus, even without Mr. Psyco, they made a point. Tali's blood is on Iron's hands. Not mine._

I punched the wall again. _And it's amazing how much I don't believe that._

The elevator door slid open, and I could see the few crew members passing through here look at me in shock.

I had to grin. _Avoiding the airlock was definitely a good call for stealth. _I looked at the bay doors. _Though prying those things open was a pain in the ass._ I had used the docking clamps to crawl to the Normandy, using small singularities to adhere to the metal. Then it was a just a matter of time and patience to make my way to the bay doors.

_Add a pair of knives from my locker, and voila. A perfect reception._ I thought as I headed over there again. I grabbed my gear and headed for the shooting range.

_(Need to work off some stress? You could always ask Ashl-)_

_)If you finish that sentence, I will get so drunk even you will feel it. And you'd be sharing the hangover.(_

He quickly shut up. I shook my head as I opened the program, customizing the enemies.

_If I can't shoot at him, I can at least shoot enemies that look like him._

* * *

><p><strong>See? No cliff hanger this time. <strong>

**Next chapter should be up… When I get around to it. I was going to have that be part of this chapter, but it ran too long.**

**I'll get to it later, and post this so that I stop checking my email because I've read through this so many times, it feels like I already posted it.**

**And thank you to all of you that have added this story to your alerts, and/or favorite stories. If you really like something I'm doing, or think I could improve by adding something, please let me know. Or just review because you can. Either way, reviews are appreciated. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, see ya later.**


	41. I don't have the best luck

**Hey, look. Two chapters in a row. Luckily I have plenty of spare time to write for the next couple weeks. I'm going to try to get through at least Virmire and a couple of side missions. But I'm going to admit, I want to write the sequal. I have the first several chapters for both planned out. I might type them out so I don't forget about them even.**

**I'm not going to skip out on this, but I'm trying to trim the fat I don't need. Some missions just aren't as interesting to me; I'm not going to do either DLC for the first game (But rest assured, I'll do all the DLC for the sequal.) But if you have a suggestion for an important side quest, let me know. I already have a few I've been thinking about, but I'm open to ideas if they're important enough.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, there'd be jetpacks. Nuff said.**

* * *

><p>I took a deep breath as the last target fell, a bullet right between his glowing red eyes. Oddly, Iron hadn't commented while I was shooting the holographic images of him. It had been tempting to make them say "I'm a moron. Shoot me in the face", but that would have been too far even for me.<p>

I holstered my gun and retrieved my knives from where they'd been scattered.

"Feel better now Bourne?" Shepard asked.

I'd noticed her when she came in, but I'd been busy ripping apart a hologeth. She'd been much more patient waiting then I would have been.

"Something like that." I said, turning to her.

She crossed her arms. "Clever way to explain what happened." There were volumes spoken in her words.

"Would you have preferred I tried convincing them I was from another time?"

She shrugged. "Good point. I'm the only one crazy enough to believe it."

I frowned. "So you do, or don't believe it?"

"I feel crazy, but I believe you. I have no idea why."

_Probably the same reason I came back. The universe bending us. We'd probably end up here no matter what._

"But I want to know more about what's going to happen."

I shook my head. "Not happening." _If I tell you one thing, you might figure out something else. Like Kaiden. Or the fact that one of us might be dead in a few months, then come back 2 years later._

_(Man, when she finds that out, she is going to be pissed at you.)_

I fought back a smile. It was sort of funny when I thought about it, in a really morbid dark way.

"Why not?"

It became much easier to fight back. "Shepard, if you trust me, trust me enough to be smart about what I tell you."

Shepard looked away. " You're the one that said I shouldn't trust you."

I clenched a hand into a fist. "Since I'm not telling you either way, I guess it really doesn't matter."

Shepard looked back at me. "What happens?"

My face twisted. I shook my head. "I don't know everything Shepard." I lied. "I know what may happen, not what will. Time is malleable. You might change some aspect of the future by what color your socks are. I don't know." It was total bull, even more so with reality bending us.

Shepard shook her head. "There's something bad coming, isn't there?"

I nodded. She deserved at least that much.

"A choice I have to make, which you want to make for me."

I laughed bitterly. "Shepard, I think you just described almost every mission you'll ever go on."

She stepped closer to me. "You have a certain version of the legend that you want to see come true?"

I bit my tongue. "Not quite." I said after a minute. "I think I can guess at the best possible choices for the future, but…" I turned and threw my hands into the air. "I can't believe I've told you as much as I have."

"If Iron is gone-"

"He isn't gone."

She stared at me in silence for a moment. "You said-"

"I lied. I'm a realist in some cases. I'm guessing that they weren't too happy to have me stay after what happened. How do you think they'd react if they knew he was still alive?"

Shepard put a hand on my shoulder. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

I smirked. "I could die. Which by the way, he thinks he'd go back in time and end up where I first appeared on Eden Prime."

"His goal is to kill you and do that?"

I turned. "Told you he's crazy."

She shook her head. "You don't know what might have caused all this?"

"I haven't had time to think about it."

She turned and walked a few paces. "Bourne, you said that you don't even know your own name?"

"Not my real one, no."

She faced me. "Neither do I."

My face contorted in confusion.

_(Wait, what?)_ I had to agree.

"They knew my last name when they ran DNA records, and found my parents. But Mindor wasn't very advanced technologically. They didn't have records of me.  
>"I told you I was found buried in the rubble? I had been in there almost a week. Alone, with no food, no water, only my family's body for company. And half blind."<p>

I was speechless. What could one really say to something like that?

"When they found me, I was a shell. It took months of therapy before I could even talk. Even longer to get back to some semblance of Normal. I couldn't remember some things about my past. I still don't."

I found my voice again. "So you didn't know your real first name?" I asked in a hoarse whisper.

"No. I was sixteen, but my mind was only about that of an eight year old. They started calling me Raptor, after my favorite toy. A plastic dinosaur. With therapy, I grew out of the toy, but not out of the name." She laughed. "My attitude helped it stick."

I realized I was flicking my hand back and forward nervously, and stopped it. I didn't want knives to be my security blanket.

"When I enlisted in the alliance military, I told them my first name was Raptor. It got marked down like that, and became public record. I never did find out what my original name was."

I was struck dumb.

"After the Massacre on Akuze, I nearly ended up the same way again. But I vowed to fight through it. I never wanted be a zombie like that again."

She turned to me. "Whatever horrors the future holds, I can handle them. You can't tell me anything worse than what will happen."

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

"Don't try to protect me Bourne."

I looked at her evenly. "I'm not."

"You're acting like it"

"Shepard, we might not have the same methods, but we share the same goal. We have to stop Saren." I leaned in closer. "I'll tell you this much. If Saren succeeds, all sentient life in the galaxy will be wiped out. And like it or not, the only people that can stop them are standing in this room."

My head snapped to the side as Shepard slapped me.

I turned to her in shock, eyes glowing. "What the hell was that for?"

She pulled me in close, our faces only inches apart.

"I don't care how legendary I am in your time. I'm here, and I make the calls."

I tried convincing myself that Iron's suggestion to slap her back wasn't a good idea. It wasn't easy.

"If I say I want to know something, I'll find it out."

I forced myself not to use my Biotics as I stepped back a few paces.

I sighed. "You want to know where I got my name from? I stole it from a book series. The guy was a government agent trained to pose as an assassin. He lost his memory when he got shot and left for dead."

I looked at my armored gloves. Inside, my hands were covered with calluses they'd never had before. "I subconsciously chose it because that's like what I am. He lost his family, and wanted revenge. That's why he became a government agent."

I looked back at Shepard. "I'm doing this because no one else in this universe can."  
>"I never was a fighter. I took martial arts, but only for self-defense. I never picked fights.<br>"Now I'm an expert in martial arts that didn't even exist in my time. I'm violent, dangerous, technically insane, and I'm trying to stop a race of sentient machines."

I looked at the holographic remains of a Geth.

"Bourne… I'm sorry. You're right."

I turned to her.

"I thought you were a magic bullet to end all of this. You might be. But you don't want to be loaded into the gun. I have no right to ask you any of this."

"You have every right. You're just as worried as I am."

She nodded. Walking over to the shooting range, she entered in a new program.

"Uh, Shepard? What are you doing?"

"I figure we might as well get to know each other if we're going to be joined at the hip like this." She drew her off duty pistol from its holster.

"Care to pit your supernatural abilities vs my N7 training?" She asked with a smirk.

I had to grin back. We were more alike than I'd have thought in some ways. "I don't know. Is it really fair that I have 20-20 vision and you have those freaky cyborg eyes?"

"You want to talk about freaky eyes? Have you looked in the mirror lately Mr. Lightbulb?"

I grimaced. "Not really. I try to avoid seeing how much I've changed. My body was changed a lot, including my face."

I grinned. "I was a lot less ugly before I got Iron fused to me."

"I don't see how that's really possible."

We looked at each other and laughed.

Shepard hit the program and we opened fire. Her pistol was modded for maximum rate of fire, and a storm of bullets.

Mine was modded to do maximum damage with each round, but it meant I had to choose targets carefully.

In the end, our scores ended up tied.

"You up for a second round Bourne?"

I waved a hand. "I'm good. I was in here for a while before you showed up."

"Feel better?"

I shrugged. "I stabbed a teammate in the gut. How can I really feel better about something like that?"  
>"But I'm less depressed about it."<p>

"I'm glad. We should probably hit the showers."

My face turned slightly red. "On second thought, I'd rather stay here and work on my knives for a bit."

She looked at me, confused. Then she got a grin on her face. "You weren't military before, were you?"

"Just hurry up so I can get in there." I said, irritated. "You want someone to show off to, look up a certain Asari."

"You might as well get used to it."

I facepalmed. _I really hope I get my own cabin on the SR2. Or that Shepard doesn't want hers._

"Alright, I'll let you off. But just remember that thisis a military vessel. And you will have to use the coed-"

"Shepard, please stop talking." I groaned.

She laughed as she headed in there.

_( You must at least be a little tempted to peak)_

_)She's technically another version of yourself you know. Do you really want to see that?(_

_(... Good point. We can spy on Ashley)_

_)ugh. Not only are you crazy, you're just as into Ash as I am. It's really creepy(_

_(You're the one that romanced her as me.)_

I laughed. _) For someone that thinks he's a god, you certainly aren't so confident. You just acknowledged that you only exist because of me.(_

_(I may be similar to who you created, but don't assume I am the same.)_

I blocked him out. _He's got to be lying, right?_

I shook my head and unholstered my shotgun. I activated a swarm of Hologeth and opened fire.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, I was in my cabin, playing tetris on my Omni-tool.<p>

At a knock at my door, I closed the game and used it to unlock my door.

Ashley came in. "You busy Jason?"

I shook my head, shifting to sit on the edge of my bed.

"What's up Ash?"

"Why did you run before? You could have explained yourself just as well without making us chase you all over the goddamn citadel!"

"Yeah, nice to see you too." I muttered. "I had my reasons. I found stronger ones to come back."

Ashley sat down next to me. "I understand why you were worried."

"I didn't want you hurt." I admitted. "But I wanted to avoid you even less."

"Stop being noble and falling on your sword for us. We're here because we want to help you. Not because we were looking for a low-risk job."

I laughed. "Were it so easy."

She leaned her head on my shoulder. "I don't want to lose you either."

She slowly turned her face up at me, moving in closer. I hesitated, but only for a moment before I moved my face closer as well.

I closed my eyes.

_(Horizon.)_

Iron's words made my eyes pop open and I pulled back.

Ashley looked at me in shock. "Jason?"

I forced myself not to look away. "Ash, I care about you. But maybe this isn't right."

"What happened to not being worried about regs? Shepard would have to be blind to not notice us."

I looked away. Her revelations were still unsettling. "Ashley, it's not that. I'm… not safe."

"Safe? I'm a marine. Safe went out the door a long time ago."

I turned to her. "Ashley, I'm a Spectre. There's already been one Spectre that's died by Saren's hand."

She put a hand on my face. "There's been even more marines. My whole squad."

I put my hand on hers, but I didn't remove it from my face.

"I know that we could be dead soon. That's why I want to spend time with you now."

I closed my eyes. Iron had a point. No matter what I said or did, this wouldn't last. But I realized I didn't care.

"Ashley, I can't promise I'll be around forever."

She opened her mouth to speak, but I put a finger to her lips and cut her off.

"But while I'm here, I want to be with you."

I moved my hand to cup her chin, and pulled her face closer to mine.

Then she slapped me in the face and my head snapped to the side._ Come on, twice in one fucking day?_

"What did I do?"

"You missed your chance. Next time I offer to kiss you, take me up on it the first time." She walked to the door, looking back over a shoulder. "Maybe you'll get a second chance tomorrow."

She closed the door behind her and I collapsed backwards onto the bed.

_Somehow, in someway, I am going to get Iron back for that cock-block._

_(I just said one word. You're the one that overreacted.) _

I closed my eyes. "I really am starting to wonder why I came back" I said to myself.

Suddenly my Omni-tool signaled an incoming call from Shepard.

"Shepard, I really hope this is important."

"It is. I just got a message from admiral Kahoku."

I bolted upright.

"The ones that set the thresher maw lose on his team are the same that set one on mine."

"Cerberus." I growled.

"He sent us the coordinates for one of their research facilities. We're on a course for it now."

I jumped off of my bed. "How long until we get there?"

"I told Joker to go full speed. We should be there in about an hour."

I opened the door, heading towards the elevator. "I'm heading to get my gear now."

"I'll meet you at the elevator."

I saw her coming down the stairs, so I turned off the com.

We stepped inside. Shepard noted the dents I'd made in the walls, but didn't say anything.

"Do you know anything about this?"

"We should bring Wrex and Ashley. We're in for a fight."

She turned to look at me. "You know more than you let on."

I nodded. "Let's hope I'm wrong about one thing."

_(Another person's blood on your hands. This time an Admiral's. Pity it isn't that one that inspected the Normandy.)_

_)It would have happened anyway.(_

_(I hope you aren't ever planning to say that you're better than Cereberus. Because you'd be lying if you did.)_

* * *

><p><strong>So, does this count as a cliff hanger? I never said I would put on in for this chapter.<strong>

**Thank you again to the newer readers, and to the people that have stuck with this story.**

**Next chapter should be up in a couple of days.**

**Until then, Keelah Se'lai. **


	42. Oh, you are so asking for it!

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, it would have to cut a lot of my ideas. If it wanted to stay at an M rating anyway. **

**Speaking of which, do you think I should change the rating to M, just to be safe? I'm mostly hesitant because then it would be harder for new people to find it, since M rated isn't displayed unless they want it to be. I might just be whining about that though, so I want your feedback.**

**I already know that the stories following this one will be rated M, but I'm unsure about this one. I figure this is something to listen to the audience on. And to clarify, I mean M for language, and some of the jokes. That's the only reason.**

**I'm also wondering whether to change the genre from Sci Fi to humor. But I figure I should get some feed back on this.**

* * *

><p>Tali would have wiped her face of sweat if it was possible. But she knew that it wasn't the effort from working on the Mako that was making her temperature rise.<p>

She'd offered to give Garrus a break from working on the Mako because she didn't trust herself to make the delicate adjustments to the drive core in her current state.

The knife had been covered in Bourne's blood when it went into her gut, bringing in hundreds of foreign bodies. She'd been lying to Garrus not having an infection; she was running a fever and felt slightly nauseous.

But she wasn't going to just stand around and not contribute. As long as her infection wasn't interfering with her work, she'd be here. If it got bad enough to hinder her, she'd take a break. But she doubted that with Chakwas keeping an eye on her.

_And Garrus _She sighed. She'd thought he only thought of her as a friend; she was almost glad he hadn't been able to see her face when she realized that he felt the same way about her that she felt about him.

She was still unsure of what to do from here. _Maybe I could ask chief Williams? _Tali shook her head, but then considered it again. _Well, she has sisters that she might have had to give advice to. She might not like nonhumans, but she might be willing to help me with something like this._

She activated her Omni-Tool, checking on the shields. _Then again, I doubt any of her family has ever been interested in someone that wasn't human. Maybe I should ask Shepard; she's not with her own species either, so maybe she'd know how to break down those culture barriers._

"Because she and Wrex are the toughest and we're in for a fight."

Tali looked up at the sound of Bourne's voice, but she didn't see him. Then she realized that he was still in the elevator.

"Bourne, don't bullshit me."

The elevator door slid open and the two Spectres walked out, arguing about something. Tali slid over to the far side of the Mako, where they couldn't see her.

"Shepard, it's an organization we've already run into before. And in all likelihood, they know that the admiral managed to get a message to us. In which case, they're going to be ready for us."

"I guess that's true. But what if we need tech skills? Between the four of us, we might be able to change out a power cell. At best. "

Tali peered out from the side of the Mako.

Bourne turned to face Shepard. "Ok, we'll do it your way. Would you like to tell Tali and Garrus that we want them to watch the back of the guy that tried to kill them, or should I?"

Shepard stopped in her tracks.

" I didn't think so." Bourne said, turning to his locker.

"Bourne, you're going to have to earn their trust back. That's the only solution."

Tali grimaced inside her helmet. _I would still watch his back, and I know he'd watch mine. But Garrus… Bourne has a point._

"I doubt that I can."

"Try."

Bourne didn't reply.

"Are you giving me the silent treatment Bourne?"

"Until you change the subject, yes."

"You are so juvenile."

Bourne once again didn't reply.

"Arggh. Fine. But if we find something that needs to be hacked open-"

"I'll warp it open. Or smash it open. Or punch it op- you get the idea."

He stood up, and started walking towards the Mako.

"You already tell Wrex and Ashley we're going down?"

"They're on the way. But are you sure you don't know anything else that might help us?"

"If I knew, I'd tell you. We've been going over strategies for almost 45 minutes. It didn't help that you forgot to grab your armor from your locker the first time."

"You didn't remind me."

"Since when is it my job to babysit you?"

He opened the door to the Mako, and stopped. "By the way Tali, you might want to move. This thing's going to be moving pretty quick and I don't want it going over you."

Tali walked around sheepishly. "How did you know I was here?"

"I heard your suit scraping against the mako." He said simply, climbing inside. "Slightly enhanced hearing comes in handy."

Shepard looked at her in slight shock.

She glanced at Bourne, then whispered "Tali, is he right?"

Tali shook her head. "I'd still trust him, but I doubt Garrus would." She looked around to make sure they were alone. " But, actually, I was hoping I could talk to you about something."

"Ready to go Skipper." Ashley said, surprising Tali.

"Do we have to take this thing to get down there?" Wrex complained.

"We could push you out of the ship and follow you in the tank." Ashley said with a grin.

Shepard turned back to the quarian. "Sorry Tali, I don't have time to chat right now. I'll talk to you when we get back."

Shepard followed the others into the tank, and Tali was left standing there with nothing to really do.

She shook her head and went over to the elevator to go up a deck. _Might as well get some sleep._

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I could see Shepard trying to stifle laughter as I checked my straps for the third or fourth time.

"Why don't you just glue yourself to the seat Bourne?"

I glared at her. "You're the reason I ended up bouncing around in here once. I'm not going to end up like that again."

She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off as our hearts went into our throats.

I closed my eyes, trying to keep my lunch down.

I felt a slight jolt as we landed, but I kept my eyes closed until I was sure we'd stopped moving.

"Wrex, take guns. Ashley, navigate. Bourne, try not to puke on anything."

"Hah hah, very funny Shepard." I said sarcastically as I moved to a seat nearer Ashley.

"I know it was funny. That's why I said it. Let's move." Shepard put the pedal to the metal, sending us racing across the surface. Well, it felt like we were going fast anyway, but maybe that's because my adrenaline was still going.

I closed my eyes, trying to slow my heart rate.

I heard Wrex firing the guns, and I turned to look.

"What's the opposition Wrex?"

"A few turrets, but that's it. Not so much as a single merc."

Shepard chuckled. "So much for there being a lot of opposition Bourne."

I scowled. "There might still be something inside."

_(Like a rachni for instance?)_

I ignored Iron.

_(Seriously, how do you think you can justify working for them? If you didn't like it, I'd understand that much-)_

_)I don't like it.(_

_(Yet you aren't trying to change anything. Let me ask, if Shepard… Speaking of which, can you start calling her Raptor when you talk to me? It's sort of disconcerting for you to be using my name but not talking about me.)_

_) It makes you uncomfortable? Good. You deserve it for cock blocking me earlier.(_

_(How is keeping you from kissing her-)_

_) It's close enough!(_

_(*sigh* My point was: you think Cerberus is evil?) _

_)No shit Sherlock.(_

_(But if Ms. Shepard bites it… Huh, that works a little better at least. If she bites it but you don't… What are you going to do for those two years?)_

It made me pause.

_(Reality bending or not, you really want her waking up with a control chip? Come to think of it, if you get Lazarused, they'll probably have to give you one. How else could they control someone as crazy as you?)_

_)Shut up!(_

"Bourne, you ok?"

Shepard's voice brought me back to reality. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Then come on. We have a base to destroy."

I followed the others into the base, refocusing myself. Iron could wait, at least for now.

Shepard went to loot the weapons lockers. I forced myself to wait patiently, though I didn't see what could be in there that might be worth it.

"Damn it, the thing locked me out!"

I rolled my eyes. "You really aren't good with sort of thing, are you?"

"I'm a soldier, not an engineer."

I raised a hand, glowing blue. "Move." She darted to the side and I I blasted it open.

"You don't even know the meaning of 'subtle' do you?"'

"Nope. Now if you're finished looting, we have places to be, people to shoot, bases to destroy,"

I jumped back as she tried to slug me.

"Too slow."

Her retort was cut off as we heard several voices shouting from the other room.

Our weapons were out in an instant.

"Shepard, you and Ashley hang back and cover us with your assault rifles. Wrex and I will take point."

He grunted in approval and readied his shotgun.

I flicked several knives into each hand and flared my Biotics.

I kicked apart the door, sending the pieces flying into the connecting hallways.

_Damn, nothing._ I'd hoped to take something out with that maneuver.

I moved slowly down to the end of the hallway. Reaching the door, I kicked it open as well. Half a dozen Cerberus agents had their weapons pointed at me.

I threw my knives wildly, scattering them, and making them take cover. I moved through, followed by the others. Wrex charged a pair and tore them open with his shotgun. One of them tried crawling away, only wounded, and Wrex planted a boot through his skull.

Shepard and Ashley mowed down another pair between them.

That left two for me. I rushed forward, barrier glowing around me. Their fire chipped at my shields as I closed the distance.

One of them leveled his shotgun at my head, and I rolled to the side, barely avoiding it. "Hold the line!" He shouted to his one remaining companion.

I shook my head and drew my pistol, snapping it towards his head.

He turned to me, and I blew his head off. He collapsed to the ground and I took a moment to look at his dead body. "Huh. Odd choice for last words."

I was suddenly thrown backwards against the wall. My barrier shattered as I hit.

_Why is always the enemy Biotics that I get stuck fighting?_

She raised her hands, glowing blue "I will destroy you!"

Her leg suddenly seemed to explode, Shepard's expert shooting paying off.

"But then you took a bullet to the knee." I muttered as I got to my feet.

_(Wrong game moron.)_

_)It was either that or " Looks like you 'knee'd some help."(_

_(… Stick to ripping off one liners instead of inventing them.)_

She lay on the ground, clutching at her injured limb.

I almost felt sorry for her.

_(But not quite.)_

_)No. Not quite.(_

My boot knife flew into my hand as I kneelt down next to her.

"You won't stop us" she snarled.

I plunged the knife into her throat. She shuddered once and then was still.

"If you say so." I withdrew the knife and wiped it off on her corpse.

I sheathed it and turned to Shepard. "Shooting not up to par today? You missed her head."

"I don't like shooting people in the back. And this thing just isn't as accurate as a good sniper rifle." She smiled. "And I wasn't aiming at her head, I was aiming at you."

"That's reassuring." I quipped.

"Uggh. What are these things?" Ashley exclaimed as she stepped closer to the cage in the middle of the room. Retrieving my pistol Biotically, I went over to join her. Inside the force field was a trio of what looked like oversized green beetles.

"Hmm." Wrex muttered. "If I didn't know better… those almost look like Rachni."

"I thought Rachni were a lot bigger." Shepard said.

"Most of them were. The fighters anyway. I'm talking about the workers they had to build tunnels, or whatever it is they did."

I kept a cool poker face.

"Whatever they are, Cerberus wants them. We better make sure they don't get them." Shepard said. she went over to a terminal. "Get ready. I'm going to open that thing so we can take them out."

I raised my gun. "Pick a target. We can take them out as soon as the fields drop."

Shepard gave a count down, and dropped the shields. The three of us opened fire, tearing the rachni workers apart.

_(You really didn't think this all the way through, did you? Maybe you should have waited until after you killed Liara's mom. Or are you going to make Raptor kill her girlfriend's mom?)_

I shot the corpse another time to drown him out.

"Did Kohaku say what they were doing here?" Ashley asked.

"Just that they were trying to create some sort of super soldier. Don't know what they wanted with these things."

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter. We have two more bases to take out. We should probably get to doing that."

"You aren't even a little bit surprised by the fact that Cerberus apparently raised a dead species?"

"You don't know that these things are real Rachni. No offense Wrex, but did you ever fight them yourself?"

"I wasn't even born until after the Krogan rebellions. But I heard enough from my elders to know what I'm talking about."

Ashley stepped between us. "It doesn't matter what they were. They're dead now."

I turned to the door. "She has a point. Let's go see what we can shoot at the other bases."

Ashley followed me. "Do you ever think about anything besides shooting people, or stabbing people, or whatever it is you do with your Biotics?"

"Yes. Sometimes I think about food."

She sighed in exasperation.

I chuckled as we headed back out to the mako.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"I'm telling you Bourne, those things were Rachni. I don't know how, but that's what they were."

"I'm not saying it can't be true Wrex, I'm saying we should wait for more evidence."

"We already have all the evidence we need. Do you want-"

Shepard groaned. "If you two are done arguing, maybe you could take out those turrets shooting at us?"

Wrex swiveled the guns around.

_Finally. Those two haven't stopped talking the whole way over here. But Bourne isn't as good a liar as he thinks. I'll have to talk to him later about this._

"They're both down Shepard."

Bourne chuckled. "Let's move in and make sure they don't have protheans in here."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Maybe this time, you don't blow something up and give away our position?"

"It was your idea to fail at hacking the crates."

"Bourne, you know that I technically outrank you and could make you do pushups until your arms fall off?"

Bourne glared at her, but held his tongue.

Shepard popped the hatch and got out, followed by the others.

They moved into the facility. Shepard saw a pair of weapon lockers, but at Bourne's smirk, she decided against them. "We can get those later."

"You mean I can blow them open later?"

"I could hack those if I wanted to!"

"Prove it." He said, crossing his arms.

"Jason, what are you doing?"

"Just watch her. Make sure she doesn't cheat and just hack it with Omni-gel."

Shepard turned to the weapons locker, knowing that Bourne was just baiting her. But she wasn't going to just take that little challenge lying down.

She opened her Omni-tool, setting up the hacking program. She scanned the patterns in the data, looking for a weak spot she could enter. She saw an opening and took it, breaking through the firewalls.

"Hah! Take that Bourne!"

She suddenly heard screams coming from the other room and turned, assault rifle already in hand.

Bourne came through the connecting hallway, a satisfied look on his face.

"What were you saying about not being able to be subtle?"

She lowered her gun. "The screaming doesn't sound too subtle to me. What did you do?"

He shrugged. "I snuck in, opened that cage thing in the middle and let loose a few of those Thorian creatures, then snuck back out."

"They had a Thorian here?"

"No, not a Thorian, those weird… zombie looking things produced by the thorian. Must be where they sent those samples you found out about. "

The door opened behind him, revealing one of the mercs. Shepard raised her gun.

"Behind you!"

Bourne ducked, allowing Shepard a perfect shot. The merc's blood splattered everywhere, including on Bourne.

He stood up, a disgusted look on his face. He looked at his armor, now covered in blood, and groaned. "You know what? Next time, just let the guy shoot me. It'd be easier than cleaning this stuff."

Ashley laughed. "Yeah, you're definitely the one cleaning that gear. I'm not going anywhere near it."

He scowled.

"Don't keep making that face, or it'll freeze like that." Shepard joked.

"Hah! It'd probably be an improvement" Wrex laughed.

Bourne facepalmed, then sighed. "There's blood all over this glove, isn't there?" He pulled his hand away, revealing a completely red face. Shepard had no doubts that it would have been red even without the blood covering it.

She fought back laughter.

Wrex had no such reservations.

Bourne's Biotics flared a moment, before he got a hold of himself.

He grit his teeth. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'm going to go see if there's anybody left to kill in the other room." He opened the door. "And I really hope that there's something left to kill in there."

Shepard looked at the others, and they started laughing.

They suddenly heard gun fire and screaming coming from the other room. There was short silence, then they heard something go flying against the door.

The door opened, revealing a smashed corpse. Bourne stepped over it, glowing blue.

They looked at him in shock for a moment.

"What?"

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

Wrex laughed at least. Shepard and Ashley looked at me like I was crazy.

At that moment, I was feeling crazy.

Iron wouldn't. stop. Laughing. If I didn't know it was exactly what he was trying to make me do, I might have threatened to blow both our heads off.

_)Fuck it. If it have to get a hangover for you to get one, so be it.(_

_(You have no people skills.)_

I grimaced. "Come on. Two down, one to go."

_(Is that what you're going to say to As-)_

_)I am going to fucking kill you!(_

I followed the others outside, trying to wipe some of the blood off of me.

"I need a drink." I muttered.

It only took a short while to drive to the last base, and went in, guns ready up and ready for anything.

I stormed through the first room, rushing into the second. If I couldn't take this aggression out on Iron, I knew who I could take it out on. The Mercs turned to me in surprise, and I flared my Biotics.

I sent one flying against the wall, his bones broken before he ever hit it.

Another got a few explosive shots to the chest, blowing it open.

Shepard and the others came in and opened fire, scattering them.

We traded shots from behind cover. Shepard picked one off when he stuck his head out too far.

Wrex was a little bit more subtle than I would have been. He charged in, ignoring the incoming fire, and blew the heads off of a pair. I would have rushed in glowing blue, screaming like a banshee.

The last guy tried running until Ashley shot him in the head.

We stood there a moment, making sure there weren't anymore. My heart pounded in my chest.

"Looks like that's all of them Skipper."

"Good riddance."

I let my Biotics fade. "Come on. The sooner we blow this place to hell, the sooner I can get this blood off of me."

"Hey Bourne, what we you saying about the Rachni?" I turned to Wrex, standing in front of the shield.

"I said we needed proof."

I jumped back as a giant bug lunged at the force field. The thing clawed at the force field, screeching.

"Ok, I think that counts as proof." I said as my heart started pounding again.

Shepard put a hand on the field. "How did they do this?"

Ashley shrugged. "Cloning maybe?"

I went over to the release panel. "You may want to stand back."

"Bourne, you aren't really thinking of killing this thing, are you?"

I groaned. "Unless you know a pet shelter for these things, it needs to get put down."

She turned to me. "This could be the only Rachni in existence!"

"Good. Then we can finish what my ancestors started." Wrex replied. "Open that gate and I'll make them proud."

Shepard glared at me.

"What do you want me to do Shepard? These things need a queen to produce more. And I'm guessing they were a lot bigger than that. Whether this one lives or dies is irrelevant."

She crossed her arms.

"Look. Even if letting this thing live is a good idea, and I don't think it is, who knows what these bastards did to it? They didn't hesitate to torture humans, why would they hesitate to torture giant bugs? It could be modidfied to explode for all we know. Or be bugged. I mean with microphones or whatever, since it already is a bug."

She kept glaring at me.

I turned and opened the gate, ending the argument.

Shepard turned, gun in hand, but Wrex was faster. He warped it, then followed it up with an explosive shot from his gun.

"There. Now the problem's solved."

I chuckled. "I like the way you think Wre-" Shepard cut me off with a punch to the jaw.

"For gods sakes, that's the third time today! I'm starting to consider actually wearing my helme-"

"Don't ever do something like that again!"

My eyes glowed dangerously. "If you recall, we share command. You weren't making a call, so I made it for you."

She pointed a finger at my face. "Bourne, unless you want to get hit a fourth time-"

"Jason, Shepard, over here. It's Kohaku." Ashley's words drew our attention. We turned and saw him lying on the floor.

Shepard rushed over, checking for a pulse. She shook her head. "He's stone dead." She took a glove off, feeling his flesh. "And he's been that way a while. He's cold as ice."

I knelt down next to her, looking for… "Look on his arm. A needle mark. That Rachni isn't what killed him. Probably was just meant to dispose of the body."

I stood up. "Nothing we can do for him. At least this place is useless now."

Shepard grabbed his arm, moving the fingers on his hand. Her brow furrowed in concentration.

"What are you-"

My question was cut off as his Omni-tool popped to life. Shepard scanned through it, transferring the data to her own.

"Oh. You might have to teach me that trick. Not one I'm familiar with"

"It doesn't always work, but we got lucky this time. And don't even say it." I hadn't even thought about it until she mentioned it. Much.

She stood up. "He'd been looking for them for a while. He found another base in the Voyager cluster."

She activated her Radio. "Joker, we're ready for pick up." She lowered her voice. "We found Kohaku. Send a message to the fifth fleet so they can retrieve his body."

"Aye Aye commander."

She turned to the door, walking out in silence. The other two followed. I stood staring at the body a moment more. I knelt and closed his eyes.

_I'm sorry. You didn't deserve this._

For once, Iron was silent. Probably because I was already berating myself enough without him.

* * *

><p><strong>Tali.<strong>

"Huh, I'm impressed this thing is still in one piece with Bourne around." Garrus muttered as the Mako rolled into the landing bay.

Tali had to agree; Bourne was usually pretty good at blowing things up.

She deactivated her exterior speakers as she was hit by a round of coughing. Her body shook slightly.

Garrus apparently still noticed though. "You ok?"

She reactivated the speakers. "I'm fine." It wasn't a complete lie. The fever wouldn't interfere with her efficiency at least.

The door popped open, and Bourne jumped out. Tali gasped as she realized the dried red goo all over him was human blood.

"Are you Ok Bourne?"

He frowned a moment, then looked at himself. "Oh, yeah I'm fine. This blood isn't mine. Shepard had to shoot a merc that was right on top of me."

He glanced at Garrus. "Don't know that you'll much to do this time. It didn't see much action."

Garrus grinned. "Sort of like you?"

Bourne's glance turned into a glowing eyed glare. "Unless you want to be stuck in pink armor-"

"What exactly is wrong with pink armor Jason?" Ashley said from behind her.

Bourne said something under his breath, probably a profanity. "Your armor is pink and white. I'm talking about getting him all pink armor. That's not the same thi-"

"Jason, just shut up now while you're behind." She walked off to store her gear.

He groaned. "I am having a really unpleasant day."

"Have you been stabbed in the gut by a team mate today?" Garrus asked scornfully.

Bourne turned, eyes flashing again, then he took a deep breath and regained his composure. "Well, I've been hit by Shepard twice and by Ashley once,"

"Be serious for once."

Bourne's smile faded. "I don't have to put up with this." He turned to store his gear.

"I'm talking to you Bourne! You haven't even bothered to say anything."

Bourne stopped in his tracks and wheeled around to face him. "Oh? And what am I supposed to say? 'I'm sorry the other person in my head took over and stabbed you?' Is that it? Consider it said."

"You could have killed one of us!"

"Why do you think I left?"

"Maybe to cover your tracks?"

Bourne's hands tightened into fists. "Do you always talk to your superior officers like that?"

"You might outrank me, but you're in no way superior. And I certainly have no respect for traitors."

Bourne's face went blank; completely expressionless. But his eyes were filled with fury. Tali nervously snaked a hand around to her shotgun.

"What did you just call me?" he asked quietly.

"Traitor. You want me to spell it out for you?"

Bourne didn't reply; he removed his gloves and belt of knives, then removed the sheaths for his other knives and tossed his guns to the side.

"What are you doing?" Garrus asked.

Bourne smiled grimly. "Making sure I won't be tempted." He darted forward, landing a solid punch to Garrus' jaw.

Garrus growled in anger and swung back.

Bourne ducked and delivered a spinning kick to his chest.

Garrus stumbled back, then he swung an arm, Talons extended, barely missing Bourne's face as he leapt out of the way. He swung again, almost taking our an eye.

Bourne's eyes glowed and Blue energy crackled around his fists.

"So, you want to do it that way?"

"Hit me with your best shot Bourne. Or do you need a knife to hide behind?"

"You really want to do this? You couldn't beat Iron when you had a six man advantage; how do you think you can beat me one-on-one?"

Shepard jumped out of the Mako, but they were too busy glaring at each other to notice.

"Um, Garrus? Bourne?" They didn't hear Tali.

"I can take you anytime, anyplace you barefaced scum."

" What are you waiting for Vakarian? I'm right here!"

Shepard walked up to them, and grabbed them each by the back of the head, then slammed their foreheads into each other's.

Garrus clutched at his head, and Bourne did the same.

"For ancestor's sakes Shepard, I'm not a Krogan!"

"Ok, now I've lost count of how many times I've been hit by this crew!" Bourne yelled in frustration.

"You two are acting like idiots!" Shepard berated them.

"Am I an idiot to realize he can't be trusted?" Garrus asked exasperatedly.

"You picked a fight with the Biotic that's still covered in fresh blood that has over 5 dozen knives. That sound like a genius to you?"

Both raised fists. Tali stepped between them, an arm on each chest. "Shepard's right! We don't need to fight each other!"

Bourne stepped back, away from them, snarling.

"If you two idiots don't break this up, I'm getting you both purple armor!" Shepard shouted.

That made them pause.

"So if I wear purple armor, I still get to beat the tar out of him?" Bourne asked, still glowing.

"If you two want to fight, you two are going to do it in the training room, with medical supervision."

They glared at each other.

Garrus crossed his arms. "I can wait."

Bourne cracked his knuckles. "Sure. I can be paitent.. For a while at least."

Shepard threw her arms in the air. "You two promise to wait if I leave?"

Garrus nodded. "When I make a promise, I keep it. Unlike Bourne."

Bourne grimaced. "Maybe I should head up there with you, just to be safe."

He grabbed his gear and headed over to the lockers. Garrus headed to the fighting room.

Shepard put a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe I'm actually letting these two do this."

Wrex spoke from behind her. "If these two don't fight and work it out now, they're going to keep fighting until they end up killing each other."

"Turians do this on their ships Shepard. Garrus may have done it before in fact. " Tali added.

Shepard shook her head. "Either way, I'm getting Chakwas to supervise. I'll let them pound the lumps out of each other, but I don't want them out of commission."

Bourne chuckled from behind her.

She wheeled around. "Goddamnit, what have I told you about doing that?"

"You're the one person that hasn't complained yet. And how do you think he can take me out of commission? I got shot in the side with modded rounds and lived."

"You had to be given a new liver."

Bourne waved a hand. "Let's just go get Chakwas. The sooner we get up there, the sooner I can teach Garrus a lesson he won't soon forget." He chuckled. "Maybe we should invite the rest of the crew to watch. They can take bets on who wins, take pictures-"

Shepard back handed him.

"I swear to fucking god, if you do that again I will put in you in Stasis until I leave the ship next!"

"Save it for Garrus if you insist on fighting him."

Shepard got into the elevator, followed by Bourne.

Tali groaned. _It looks like dating a Turian is going to be harder than I thought. Wait, did I really just think that?_

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(Come on, you aren't going to sneak in one knife?)_

_)I'm not fighting him to satisfy your sick fantasies. I'm fighting him because-(_

_(Because he called you a traitor. Just like Ashley will someday.)_

I drowned him by focusing on the pain at the front of my head. Garrus might not have a head as thick as a Krogans, but it hurt like hell when Shepard slammed me into him.

"Bourne, I still can't believe you're going through with this. You can still call it off."

"Like hell. If he wants a fight, I'm going to give it to him."

"You hit him first!"

"He hit me back."

"Argggh! Maybe this is why I'm not dating a guy!"

I doubled over laughing.

"God damn I wish I hadn't said that out loud!"

I laughed even harder.

"Bourne, have I ever mentioned how much I love spending time with you? Because I was lying if you I did."

I mock gasped. "Oh, I'm wounded Shepard."

She slugged my shoulder.

"Oh, sure. Yell at me for hitting Garrus, then hit me yourself."

"I didn't hit you in the face."

I breathed a sigh of relief as the doors slid open.

"And you're explaining this to Chakwas, not me."

* * *

><p><strong>And, cue ending.<strong>

**Happy holidays. I might or might not have the next chapter posted by Christmas, but since it's just going to be a big fight, I don't know how hard it can really be to write.**

**Until next time, Feliz Navidad. Or happy whatever holiday you celebrate instead if that might be the case.**

**You know what, I'll just go with something less specific.**

**Until next time, Keelah Se'lai. **


	43. Fight! Fight! Fight!

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, there'd be more bars with hot dancing asari. And they'd all serve eggnog this time of year. **

**And to "Reader guy" I want that box of internet cookies for this. (For the rest of you, look at the reviews if you want to know what the heck I'm talking about.)**

* * *

><p>Shepard watched impatiently as Bourne and Garrus prepared for this insane fight. <em>Argh. I still can't believe I ever suggested this.<em>

"Do you think they'll be alright Raptor?"

She turned to look at Liara. "Bourne is slightly more level headed then that. If one of them gets knocked out, I'll call an end. I doubt he'd beat up on a helpless opponent anyway."

"Garrus is a lot of things commander, but I wouldn't call him helpless." Kaiden said from her other side.

Shepard was still a little shocked to realize he'd had feelings for her. It made sense looking back; she'd probably just been too amazed by Liara to notice.

_No wait, that isn't true. I should have noticed how apologetic he was after he got sucked into the beacon and I had to save him. _She sighed and amended that thought. _Bourne and I saved him. Bourne did it so he'd have the vision too. But what else has he changed, or is planning to change?_

At least she and Kaiden were still on good terms. Not quite friends anymore, but they could get along at least.

She had the feeling Kaiden had bet against Bourne for the opposite reason.

Joker had started a betting pool after he'd hobbled in; Shepard was amazed that anything got him out of the pilot's chair. Most of the crew was betting after Bourne, except for Kaiden, Tali, and Joker. Why Joker thought it was a good idea to bet against Bourne was beyond Shepard.

A few of the other crew members had bet that it would end in a draw, including Wrex. Shepard hadn't bet anything. With Bourne, it could easily go either way.

Some of the other members of the crew had come to watch as well, but it was mostly her ground team.

A few of the female crewmembers were glancing at Bourne, now shirtless in preparation, but word had apparently gotten around that he was Ashley's. None of them stared for more than a few seconds.

Bourne apparently didn't notice, too busy glaring at Garrus.

"Is this really the best way for them to resolve this commander?" Chakwas asked.

Shepard shook her head. "No, but it's better than them just fighting with no restraints."

"I suppose. At least this way the worse that will happen will be a black eye or a few bruises. Nothing to keep them out of commission for more than a few days. Bourne's been out longer from a bullet wound to the arm."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I was dimly aware of the conversations going on around me, but I was more focused on my opponent. Garrus was a lot taller than me, and had a longer reach.

Much as I hated admitting it, I mostly relied on my knives or Biotics for when enemies got close. Going mano a mano would be a little more challenging.

I double checked my pockets and boots to make sure I'd removed all the knives I'd hid in them. I'd been worried that someone would have attacked me when I was apparently unarmed to get a little pay back, so I'd taken precautions. Instead, Garrus had gotten me too mad to think straight, so I had agreed to this.

I knew a lot of ways to take a Turian down; most of them were lethal though, so I couldn't rely on them. I'd have to be a little more creative.

_(Or you could just keep hitting him until he gives up)_

For once I almost agreed with Iron. But I knew it wouldn't be so easy. Garrus had scales that would offer slight protection. I grinned slightly. _I'll just have to stick to his face._

_(Might as well. Doesn't matter what you do to it, can't be worse than what that missile will do to it.)_

My grin faded. I grabbed a roll of tape and wrapped my knuckles.

Shepard came over to me. "You know it's not too late to call this off."

"If you think I'm going to pussy out, you've got another thing coming."

She sighed. "Somehow I knew you would say that."

She handed me what looked like a thick bracelet. "Here." I grabbed it and examined it.

"It's one of the restraints you had one before you ran from the Normandy." She explained.

I put it on and felt the glow of my eyes fade. "It keeps me from using my Biotics so I won't use them by accident."

She nodded.

I slammed a fist into the other hand. "Then I'm ready when he-"

I stopped as she scanned me with her Omni-tool. "Ok, you don't have any knives on you, I'd say you're good to go."

I crossed my arms, waiting for an explanation.

"Better safe than sorry. Especially with all the metal aboard this ship. I wonder if any of it is Iron?"

I kept my face neutral, but I nodded in understanding. "I wouldn't worry about it. If there was any Iron, I'd just smash it apart. This is between me and Garrus. Nothing else."

She nodded. "Just making sure. It didn't seem like you to just punch him. Why did being called a traitor upset you so much?"

"Are you ready yet Bourne?" Garrus called.

I flipped him the bird, not bothering to look at him. "I'll explain some other time."

I turned to face him, but Shepard stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. She handed me a piece of plastic; after a moment I realized it was a mouth guard so I wouldn't have a tooth knocked out.

I fit it between my teeth and went over to where Garrus was waiting.

Shepard and Chakwas joined us. "You both understand my terms for letting you do this. One of you gets knocked out you're done. One of you is injured enough that we call a stop to it, you stop."

Garrus waved a gloved hand. "I've done this before Shepard. You may want to have Chakwas standing by for Bourne though."

I fought back a sigh of relief at the gloves. I had no doubts that those Talons could tear me open like paper without them. _I don't have Biotics, he can't claw me open like a cat. It should pretty even._

_(Except that he's about a foot taller than you, has much greater reach, and has tougher , thicker skin.)_

_Thicker skin…_Iron's words actually gave me an idea. I didn't know that I'd be able to out fight him physically, but if I could outthink him, I'd be victorious.

Garrus and I raised our hands, circling, looking for an opening.

I smiled. "Let's get this over with Garrus. I have places to be." My words came out slightly slurred with the mouth piece. Either way, if he didn't understand my words, my tone was more evident.

He swung a fist, which I side stepped. I kept my fists raised, but didn't strike. Not yet.

"That the best you got? My dead grandmother could do better."

He kicked at my head, which I grabbed in midair. I swept his other leg out from under him, and he toppled like a tree. I pounced on him, punching at his face. I got a few solid thwacks before me managed to hit with a blind punch, catching me on the jaw. I was glad for the mouth piece as I rolled off of him, getting back to my feet.

"You know Bourne, I might have gone easy on you before, but not now!" Garrus threw a flurry of punches. I managed to block or dodge some of them, but the rest left me battered, and I knew I'd be bruised.

I grimaced, and Garrus stopped in shock a moment, surprised at my teeth apparently being blue. I took advantage of this, and swung a spinning kick right at his head.

He managed to duck under it though, and I almost lost my balance. He quickly aimed a series of punches at me, but I rolled to the side and began circling again, looking for weaknesses.

"You talk a lot Bourne, but I'm not seeing anything to back it up."

I smiled and pulled a card I knew would be a full house.

_(That made no sense at all.)_

"When I'm done with your face Garrus, your own father wouldn't recognize you. But that might be a good thing."

His face twisted in anger, and he rushed at me. I jumped to the side, slapping the back of his head for good measure. _Damn, I knew that would piss him off, but I didn't think it would work this well. _

_(That's the one good thing about not remembering parents. People can't use is as Ammo against you.)_

Garrus spun around, but this time he held back. I smiled and did the classic "bring it" sign.

He threw a kick, which caught me right in the chest, knocking the wind out of me.

I stumbled back, but this time he held back, sensing a trap. He was wrong this time, and I quickly got back into my fighting stance.

"Are you two going to keep dancing around like Asari, or are you going to fight?" Wrex called from the sidelines.

"Oh, I'm going to fight alright." Garrus replied, changing tactics, and aiming a kick at my legs. I doubled over, arms out, trying to keep my balance, and Garrus came at me.

I used the position to my advantage; I grabbed both of his legs, and used my head as leverage to knock him to the ground in a double-leg take down.

I landed on top and began pummeling at him. He hit back, but I grit my teeth and kept fighting. He grabbed my head and pulled it into his, slamming my nose into his forehead.

I heard a large snap and blood began rushing over my lips; my nose was clearly broken. I growled and jabbed near his eye, which he shut on reflex. I used the distraction to roll off of him, then bring an elbow down right on his head.

He shoved me away and got back to his feet. I ignored the blood flowing over my face, _It's no worse than when I got that merc's blood on it earlier. _

I raised my fists. _I'm not giving up until he's knocked out, or I am._

I charged at him, not expecting for a second that the maneuver would work. He dodged to the side, just like I was planning. I ran past him, then spun and punched each knee joint.

He collapsed to his knees, and I grabbed him in a chokehold.

He grabbed at my arms, but with his gloves, his talons were useless. He thumped his hands on the ground in frustration.

Then I realized he was tapping out, and I loosened my grip. He rolled away, gasping.

"Ok, take a break you two. Let Chakwas take a look at you." Shepard said from the sidelines. I stepped away, letting the doctor past.

Wrex suddenly pat me on the back, nearly toppling me. "Not bad Bourne. I would have thought that you'd have had to knock him out to stop him."

"Say Bourne, what would you say to throwing in the towel now, and letting Garrus win?" a certain pilot asked.

I turned to Joker. "I'd say that you were a moron to bet against me in the first place." I smiled. "No offense."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Are you done now Bourne?"

I looked at Garrus, still getting his breath back. "If he's had enough, I'm willing to end this now."

He shakily got to his feet. "Only if you're done."

"If you've had enough, just feel free to say so."

"Have _you_ had enough?"

Shepard groaned. "Either get back to fighting or get to making up!"

I laughed. "That puts it into perspective."

I held a hand out. "If you're willing to let bygones be bygones, so am I."

He hesitated, but he shook it. "Alright. I'm sorry I called you a traitor."

"I'm sorry I lost control and punched you in the face. And for… well, you know."

"I may not like you Bourne, but-"

Suddenly, the whole floor shook under us. A few people toppled to the ground, Garrus and I included.

"What the hell?" I grimaced, getting back to my feet.

Shepard activated her Omni-tool. "Shepard to Pressley. What the hell just happened?"

"We were fire upon by another ship! Nothing got through the shields from that, but it just launched a shuttle to dock with us!"

_Ok, it's too early for the Collectors… that pretty much eliminates every possibility I can think of. _

"Can you tell who it is?" Shepard asked.

"Negative. They aren't sending out any ID."

I turned to Shepard. "Mercs maybe? Or slavers?"

She shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine." She turned back to her Omni-tool. "Can you destroy the shuttle before it docks?"

"Too late, it's already docked. We have hostiles pouring out!"

I activated my own com. "Get to safety, use the engineering tunnels. We'll head up there and take them out."

"Roger that. I can't see for sure, but I think that at least one of them is a Geth."

I almost flared my Biotics, but the restraint kept me from using them. "Don't suppose anybody brought weapons down here?"

"I brought mine." Wrex answered, tossing his sniper rifle to Shepard.

"Garrus, you take his assault rifle." Shepard said, handing her pistol to Liara.

"Anybody else?" I asked, missing the weight of my guns.

Tali handed me her pistol. "It isn't modified like yours, but…"

I grabbed it, looking down the sights. "Still better than using my bare hands."

Ashley glanced at me, looking away from her pistol. "What do you mean?"

Shepard paled. "Fuck. I left the release for the restraints down in the brig."

I let loose a long string of expletives.

There was suddenly a loud crash from down the hall, and we all turned as the doors opened, revealing a single Geth. So many guns fired at once, it was impossible to even tell who brought it down.

We stood facing the doors, waiting for more. Shepard waved Wrex forward, him being the only one with Armor.

He came back in. "Nothing. Looks like that was the only one on this level."

Shepard nodded. "Alright, here's what we need to do. Wrex, Kaiden, you're with me on the top level. Ashley, you and Liara stay here and make sure nobody gets into this room.  
>Bourne, you take Tali and Garrus and try to get to the weapon's lockers. Gear up and meet us at the top level. There can't have been that many people on the shuttle."<p>

Tali shook her head. "If they were Geth, space wouldn't have been an issue."

Garrus glanced at me, but didn't say anything about her choice. Probably knew that Shepard had picked the best arrangement. And I wasn't going to complain about Ashley being kept out of the way.

I still had no idea what was going on, this had never happened in game.

_(Ah, but this isn't a game anymore, is it?)_

* * *

><p><strong>And I'm going to leave you with a little mystery. I have the next chapter written, but it says "Do not read until Christmas." I guess I'll have to wait to post it until then. <strong>

**If you have any suggestions I could add to the fight, I'd be happy to hear them, and maybe make a few changes to it.**

**Until December 25, Keelah Se'lai**


	44. What Is Going On?

**[Attention: This chapter is not to be read before Christmas.]**

**Wait, today's Christmas! That means I can post this Chapter! And I have new games to play! Not that it'll stop me from writing this thing, but still.**

**Feliz Navidad! Unless you celebrate a different holiday. **

**And if you're atheist… Have a nice day.**

* * *

><p>Wrex moved out the door, scanning for enemies. "Clear."<p>

Shepard and Kaiden followed him out, Kaiden surrounded by a Barrier.

My team moved out behind them, weapons at the ready. Trouble was, my usual weapons were on the other side of the deck. And I was currently stuck without my Biotics.

We moved into a secondary storage room, full of crates filled with ammo for the guns, Rations, medical supplies, ect.

_)Why do I get the feeling this is your fault?(_

_(Well, I'm the reason Garrus was ready to pick a fight with you, so I guess I can take credit for it. Thanks, that makes my day.)_

_)Go to hell.(_

I moved forward, ready to dodge to the side at the first sign of enemies. But my radar showed nothing.

"Where are all the Geth?" Tali wondered aloud.

"Maybe Pressley was just seeing things. For all we know, there are no Geth." Garrus replied.

Suddenly, a group of Geth stepped through the door, and we scrambled to take cover behind the crates.

"No Geth. You just had to open your mouth, didn't you Garrus?" I deadpanned as I aimed from cover.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Kaiden crawled through the engineering tunnels behind Shepard. Wrex led the way, the tunnels barely big enough for him to fit through. But as Shepard pointed out, the only other way to the upper decks was the elevator, in which case they could have just gone with Bourne and the others.

Wrex eventually pulled himself through an opening, grunting.

"If you ever try to make me do this again Shepard…"

Shepard followed him out. "Save it for whatever we're up against."

She raised her gun, scanning the mess hall. There was no sign of any of the crew, or of the intruders. She glanced over at the elevator, also empty.

"Huh, if I were in charge, we'd have encountered more resistance by now." Wrex muttered. "The only Geth I've seen was the one that I shot down in the fight room."

Shepard shook her head. _You shot? I couldn't even tell who shot it. _"Watch my back while I grab my gear." She opened her locker, swiftly donning her armor and grabbing her guns.

Kaiden slid a box from under his terminal, which also had Armor. Shepard looked at him in question. "Since I work up here most of the time, I grabbed a spare set of armor for situations like this." Shepard nodded.

"Works for me. But where's Bourne and the others?"

Her comm crackled in her ear. "Garrus, watch your left! Tali, take out his shields!"

"Bourne?"

"Shepard, we're trapped in one of the secondary storage rooms. They have us pinned down, I don't know how long we can hold out." There was a loud crash. "Ok, that's one down, and about fifteen left shooting at us."

"We're on our way, I'll come down in the elevator."

"We'll try to hold out, but you better hurry."

Shepard weighed her options. "Can you use your Biotics?"

"Not unless I cut my arm off and get rid of the restraint. We haven't had time to look for the key."

"Shit."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

* * *

><p><strong>Tali<strong>

Tali peered around the corner, only to immediately draw back, a bullet narrowly missing her head.

"Unless one of you brought a grenade, I don't think we're going to last much longer." Bourne deadpanned, taking out a Geth's eye, leaving it open to Tali's shot gun.

Garrus overloaded the shields on one of them, then mowed it down. "We have to fall back."

"As soon as we do, they'll be on us like stink on a varren. We're trapped here. Why did Shepard have to lose that damn key?" He fired around the corner blindly, getting a few lucky hits on the shields.

"Hold your fire you stupid pieces of junk!" a new voice interrupted, clearly a Krogan. "Bourne, I know you're in there! Saren told us to take you out, but to leave the others alive. If you surrender, they won't be harmed." Tali heard the Geth shifting back. "You have three minutes to make your choice. If you don't surrender, your companions will die." Tali waited a count of five, then looked to see that there was nobody besides them in the room.

Bourne darted from his crate to where she and Garrus were hiding.

"Bourne, we all know that he's lying." Tali said, not going to just let him give himself up.

Garrus nodded. "It's the oldest trick there is."

Bourne shook my head. "We may not have a choice. Unless we can get this damn restraint of-" he suddenly slapped himself in the face. "Of course, I'm with the two experts and it takes me till now to realize the obvious." he held his wrist out. "Between the two of you, maybe we can get this thing off."

Tali studied it closely. "I don't know… This is more complicated than what I'm used to."

Garrus shook his head. "How do we know we can trust you without that thing?"

Bourne gaped at him. "Are you serious?" Tali had to agree.

"I only said I was willing to forgive you to get Shepard off my back. I don't trust you farther than I can throw you."

"So you'd rather we sit here and wait for them to kill us?"

Tali stepped between them. "If he doesn't have his Biotics, we aren't going to make it out of here."

Garrus stared at her. "Tali, this is the guy that stabbed you in the gut."

"No Garrus, this is the man that helped save me from Fist's thugs. One of the few humans to ever treat me like an equal, instead of like a Quarian. And this is the man who's our only chance."

Garrus looked like he would have bit his lips if he really had any.

Bourne shook his head. "Look at it this way. If you get this thing off of me, there's a chance that Iron could take kill you, and if you don't there's a hundred percent chance that the Krogan and Geth will kill you. I don't know how that sounds to you, but to me, they sound pretty bad."

Garrus looked at the door, then back at me. "Alright." He aimed his rifle at the door. "I'll buy you some time. Tali, get that thing off at him."

Bourne held his wrist out, and Tali opened her Omni-tool, ready to hack his restraints, or die trying.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard held her breath as the elevator descended. When the door opened, she ducked behind one of the side panels. Kaiden mirrored her on the other side, while Wrex stepped forward, barrier in place.

"I don't see anything Shepard." Kaiden said.

"Yeah, neither do I."

Shepard slowly moved out.

"This doesn't make sense. Why are there so few enemies that we've only seen one?" Kaiden asked.

"Maybe they're only here for Bourne." Wrex suggested. "They haven't tried looking for us."

Shepard nodded. "That actually would make sense. If Saren took one of us out, it would make his job a lot easier."

They heard the sounds of distant gunfire. "Come one, double time it!"

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne. <strong>

The second a Geth appeared in the doorway, Garrus took it down.

The Krogan's voice boomed through the open door. "Bourne, this is your last chance. Surrender or your friends die."

I fought back a strongly worded rebuttal. "How much longer Tali?"

She shook her head. "At least another minute."

_I have to buy some time._ "How do I know that you'll keep your word?" I shouted to the Krogan.

"You don't. But it's better than being certain that they'll die."

"So if I come with you, you'll leave peacefully?"

"Unless someone tries to stop us. Saren is very interested in you; he'd probably prefer to have you alive. But he said that a corpse would work just as well for study."

That caught my attention immediately, along with Iron's.

_(Why would he want to study you? And I don't even mean that as an insult. This time.)_

_)I don't know. This shouldn't be happening.(_

"Just a little bit longer." Tali murmured. "I can't get it off, but I can give you back you Biotics."

"Why does Saren want me?" I called out.

"How should I know? I work for him because he pays, not because he tells me everything. All he said was that he wanted to capture you for study, or have your corpse to study. Something about checking on an experiment. Bah, it doesn't matter."

Garrus shot through the doorway. "So you think we'll just give up?"

"If you want to live."

A slight flash of motion suddenly caught my eye behind Garrus. My mind seemed to work at hyper speed as I put the slight outline in the air to a shape.

"Garrus! Geth! Right behind you!" Garrus turned, but was knocked to the side by the Geth Hunter. It leveled its shotgun at his head.

"As you probably noticed, there's something in there with you. Give up, or he dies." The Krogan gloated.

"Don't listen to him Bourne. Stopping Saren is more important." Garrus gasped, weakened by the blow.

My mind raced, but I could only see one solution.

"Let him go, and I'll go peacefully."

The Krogan laughed. "Glad to see you're reasonable. Now have the Quarian stop her whatever she's doing and join her friend."

I searched for an escape. "But if I don't have this thing removed, I won't be able to leave the Normandy. It'll explode."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"These morons think I was working for Saren. But since I've got the chance, maybe I will."

"You barefaced traitor!" Garrus shouted at me. I ingored him. Iron's laughing was a little harder to ignore, but this time he wasn't laughing at me. He was laughing at the moron's falling for it.

The Krogan seemed to consider it for a moment. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"You don't. But unless you want to bring Saren a stained piece of bulkhead and hope he doesn't kill you for it, maybe you shouldn't take that risk."

"You, Hunter. The invisible one. Take a look at it, see if he's telling the truth."

The giant platform stepped away from Garrus and came over to me.

"Take that thing off, then let's haul him off of the ship." It grabbed my arm, taking apart the mechanisms.

The room seemed to light up suddenly. I smiled. "You want me?"

I wrapped the Hunter in energy. "You can have me" I threw the giant Geth against the far wall. It lay motionless, but I warped it to be safe. "But for the record, I was lying about switching sides." I laughed. "Moron."

_(For once we agree. I can't believe he fell for that, that was the worse acting I've ever seen."_

"Damn it! Move in! Kill him if you have to!"

I turned to Tali. "Can I see that for a second?" I pointed at her boot knife. She handed to me, and I moved through the door, my Barrier at full strength.

"Take him down!" The Krogan yelled, right before I put him in Stasis, leaving me free to Focus on the Geth.

I drew one of the platforms towards me, cutting its head off and using the body as a shield.

Another was suddenly taken down by a sniper round, as Shepard and her team rushed in, now in full armor.

I threw my shield into a pair of the annoying synthetics, and leaped towards another one, Tali's knife tearing through it. Wrex and Kaiden lifted several between them.

I threw a few warp fields at them, while Shepard sniped the rest.

After a few moments of silence, Shepard holstered her gun and walked over to me.

"You ok Bourne?"

I looked around at the remains of the synthetics. "Better than them."

Kaiden shook his head. "How are you keeping him in Stasis and doing about twelve other Biotic things at once?"

I'd almost forgotten about the Krogan. "I don't know." I said honestly. _I've never been able to do that before._

Then I thought back to something Iron had said about not using my full potential. I had both his abilities and Hero Shepard's. He'd said he was keeping me from using his powers, and I wasn't able to draw on hers. _But maybe…_

I shook my head. It was interesting, but I had bigger fish to fry.

I tapped on the Barrier surrounding the Krogan. "Can you hear me in there?"

He blinked twice, probably a yes.

I ended the Barrier, then threw him against the far wall, holding his arms apart.

I walked up to him, followed by Shepard and the others.

I casually pointed Tali's knife at his eye. "Now, you're going to tell me everything you know, or you'll have to get used to only using one eye. And again, I was lying about giving a damn what Saren thinks."

"You don't scare me human. Kill me or not, you won't stop Saren."

I touched the tip of it to his eye. "Where is he now?"

Wrex cocked his Shotgun. "Just kill him. You won't get information out of a Krogan with torture. And just keeping him locked up is a risk. And if he escaped, he could spend the next two decades hunting you for revenge."

I smiled at Wrex's words, as they reminded me of something I'd never actually heard a guy say, but from a guy I had now met.

_(Ok, you just lost me. And for the love of god, how do you keep not dying?)_

"Wrex, you may want to leave."

"What?"

I planted the knife at the base of the Krogan's crest. "Listen up you piece of filth! If you don't tell me what I want to know, I will rip your precious headplate right off!"

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

I dug the knife into him; a single twitch would rip his plate right off. _Thank you Zaeed. _"Try me. Why did Saren want me?"

"I don't know, that's the truth! Maybe he wanted to test indoctrination on you, I don't know!"

"Indoctrination?" Wrex asked.

"How Saren supposedly controls minds." Shepard answered.

"Yes. He does it with Sovereign somehow. I don't know anything about that, I only ever saw the cells!"

I put my face inches from mine. "Where?"

"Virmire." My face twisted as I realized everything that it meant.

I made sure the others didn't see. "Is that all you know?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know anything else that you don't."

I nodded and pulled the knife out. I dropped it and grabbed both sides of his head. "Then get off my ship."

I warped him point blank with both hands, making his head implode. His body hung there a moment, still held by my Biotics, then he fell to the ground.

Shepard looked at the corpse, then at me. "You said that he was looking for you specifically?"

I nodded. "But he didn't say why."

"Well he definitely wasn't lying." Wrex said. "Threating to remove out head piece will get almost any Krogan to talk. It takes a lot to scare us, but that will definitely do it."

"We need to tell the council this. If Saren is on Virmire, maybe they can confirm it." Shepard said.

"Yeah. The sooner we find Saren, the sooner we can end this." Kaiden said.

Shepard activated her Omni-tool. "Ashley, Liara, what's your status?"

"All quiet here Skipper."

"Tell Joker to head up to the cockpit, and cancel our current course. Big as Cerberus is, this is more important."

I yawned, the day's events finally catching up even with my enhanced body. "And tell Joker I want a report sent to the Council. We think Saren may be on Virmire."

"Roger that Skipper. Come on Joker, let's get you up there."

"Watch the arm." He complained.

Shepard deactivated her com. "You look like Shit Bourne. Get Chakwas to look at you, get some food, and get some rest." She looked at the rest of the team. "You look like you could earn it."

Tali and Garrus walked out of the other room, Tali heavily supporting the Turian. I rushed over to help, but he waved me off. "I'm fine Bourne."

He did stop and look at me though. "Thanks. If you hadn't gotten that thing off of me-"

I held a hand out. "I would have done it for anyone."

He shook my hand, this time genuinely. "I won't say I trust you, but I don't distrust you now."

I shrugged. "It's a start."

Shepard groaned behind us.

* * *

><p>An hour later, I lay in bed, looking at the ceiling. I didn't care what Shepard said, there was no way I was getting to sleep.<p>

I had hid it before, put it from my mind, but now, alone, with no distractions, only on word went through my mind.

_Virmire._

_(Yes, such a pity. Just when you convince Garrus to trust you, you betray Kaiden's trust. Or you'll have to kill your first love. Well, you might have loved someone before, but she's your first love that you can actually remember. You get the idea.)_

I shook my head. _I thought I'd have more time. We could have gone to Noveria, but now I have no choice but to head there._

_(If only you didn't have me, you could have shown Liara the full vision and headed there straight off.)_

I realized he was right; the universe had made sure I didn't have a back door. I would have to kill Kaiden.

There was no other way.

_(Look on the bright side. You'll get to see the biggest fireworks display ever! Hahahahhahahahhah!)_

* * *

><p><strong>You know, looking at this, I sort of feel guilty for posting such a grim Chapter on Christmas. But I'll get over it.<strong>

**Next: Sacrifice**

**I hope you enjoyed this yuletide chapter of "Stuck in a World of Fiction."**

**Keelah Se'lai, and merry Christmas. Or happy whatever. **


	45. Suspicions

**Ok, three things. **

**1: Thank you again to all of you adding this story to favorites, or even to story alert. Seeing that always makes me want to write more.**

**2: Virmire is being a tricky bit to write. So I decided to start here, and that definitely made it easier. I'm going to try to crank out the next chapter tommorow, but I doubt I'll actually finish it.**

**3: I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Jack would be a _tiny_ bit less NSFW. It was really awkward that one time a friend came in and saw her "All she wears from the waist up is Tattoos." Let's just say I later switched her to her DLC outfit. **

* * *

><p>Shepard yawned as she woke from a much more peaceful sleep than normal. She smiled as she turned to the primary reason, lying beside her. She kissed the sleeping Asari's forehead, then quickly changed into her normal fatigues.<p>

She nodded at Chakwas as she passed through the med bay, glad to see that there was nobody injured in the attack. _If it could even be called an attack. They were after Bourne. But why?_

"Good morning commander."

"Morning Doctor." She smiled in reply, moving through the doorway.

She saw the rest of the ground team sharing a table; minus Bourne.

Grabbing a tray, she sat down next to Ashley and Tali. "Bourne doing another early morning training session?"

"I don't think Jason has left his room since last night."

Garrus grinned, but a look from Shepard killed it. _We already get enough of that from Bourne._

"I hate to be babysitting him, but he needs to eat." Kaiden said. "More so since he's a Biotic."

"Didn't he say once that he'd forced himself to adapt to normal amounts?" Ashley pointed out.

Shepard glanced down at her food, then stood up. "I'm going to see if I can bring him out."

Wrex chuckled. "Good luck."

Shepard crossed to the other side of the deck and knocked on Bourne's door. "Bourne, you in there?"

"Go away." Shepard fought back a chuckle at his tone.

"I need to talk to you Bourne."

The door opened suddenly, giving enough of an answer.

"I'm going to take that as an invitation."

She stepped inside. Bourne was facing the wall away from the door. "Do you need something important?"

"The Council hasn't called back yet, so no. But I want to talk to you."

He sighed. "If you're only going to milk me for information, forget it."

"Have you- Bourne, you know a lot about the different crew members, right?"

"You could ask me almost any question about something they've told you, and I'd be able to answer it."

"But how much time have you actually spent talking with them?"

"Not much besides Ashley. I think the longest conversation I've had was when we went to Flux."

"You just sat staring at the scenery the whole time because you were still angry about what you did. The only time you talked was right after you kicked those Batarian's asses. "

He didn't smile. "Did you forget that's when I got that damn knife? If I hadn't taken it, Iron couldn't have used it, and Tali wouldn't have drawn her knife, and I wouldn't have stabbed her in the gut with it."

"She doesn't hold it against you. I think the only person that didn't trust you is Garrus, and you made it up to him by saving him yesterday."

"He never said he trusted me. He said that he no longer distrusted me."

Shepard walked over to the other side of the room, making him look at her. But he simply looked at the ground. "Bourne, you never held it against Tali when she almost got you killed. And she did that twice." She smiled. "Though you said that opening the gate was also my fault because I wasn't keeping an eye on her."

"The Gate, might have been somebody's fault, but I really don't care. The cave-in wasn't Tali's fault. It would have happened regardless, I just made it happen a certain way. I put them in jeopardy. Just like I almost killed them. "

"Snap out of it Bourne."

He just stayed silent.

Shepard sighed, then backhanded him.

He didn't even move.

"What happened to putting me in Stasis when I did that?"

"Get your girlfriend to do it."

Shepard sighed and sat down next to him. "What's really bugging you? The only other time you've been like this was when you saved Talitha."

He slowly turned his head to look at her. "Saved?"

"I hate to admit it, but you're right. If you hadn't done that, she'd have died."

He stood up angrily, walking away a few paces. "You really want to know why I hate myself for it? It was the evil route."

"Evil route?"

"You remember that Iron is an alternate version of you? He wasn't the only evil version; it was split pretty even. And when the circumstances lead to that, they would have done what I did." He chuckled briefly. "Minus the cool leap over the side, but same idea."

"You think it was Iron that made you do it?"

"I'm not pushing blame on him for that; it was all me. I wish I could blame all this on him though, bastard deserves it."

"Bourne, enough of this constant self-pity."

He turned back to her. "Self-pity? Is that what this is? I'd call it regret. Save for the fact that I'm regretting things that haven't even happened yet."

Shepard sighed. "Come on." She grabbed his arm, trying to drag him out of the room. "You aren't helping yourself by staying in here all day. Come and eat with the rest of us."

He didn't budge. "Shepard, I may be a joking fool, but I'm not as naive an idiot as you seem to think."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just about the only people to trust me on this ship are you, and Ashley."

"Liara trusts you too." She gave another tug on his arm.

He pulled his hand free. "You don't have to try yanking my arm off, geez."  
>"Look. I have a lot of things to deal with right now. Like planning things out that won't happen for over two years, which are dependent on choices that will be made soon. I also have to worry about why in the hell Saren wants me; considering the fact that I shouldn't even be here, I don't know. So if you think that sitting and trying to make conversation with people I've tried to kill is important-" he threw his arms up angrily.<p>

"What is your problem?"

He snickered. "Well for one thing, Iron won't shut up."

Shepard felt her jaw drop.

"And now he's even more pissed because I told you that."

"You're talking to that pyscho?"

"Not really talking to him so much as just ignoring most of what he says. He rants a lot."

"So you're risking yourself just so you can talk with a maniac?"

He chuckled. "Good point."

"I know, so why are you-"

"Oh, actually, I was talking to him that time. He said that there were some versions of you where you were schizophrenic, or had some other legit brain condition, so he's actually relatively sane. And now that I say that out loud, I take it back. He's a total maniacal lunatic and homicidal pyscho."

"You do remember that he wants to kill you."

"I know. But he does have one goal in common with me. For all his talk of being a god, he had no idea how about 4 universes merged, not to mention my time traveling. But it may have something to do with Saren or the Reapers. We both agree on that."  
>"I was thinking about it last night, he had a crazy idea, and we started bouncing idea around from there."<p>

"How could the reapers do that? We don't even know what they are!"

He kept his face neutral, but his body shifted slightly.

"You do know, don't you?"

"Well, since this a different universe, they might not be the s-"

"You are a horrible liar."

"Yeah, Iron agrees." Shepard shivered. The idea that such an vile being was the same as her… ". But there's a time and place for you to find out what they are. I won't tell you ahead of time."

Ashley's voice sounded from the mess "Are you going to get out here or not?"

"I'm on the way!" Bourne yelled back. "After we're done on Virmire, I'll tell you more. But until then… It's better you don't know." He said regretfully.

"Fine."

He walked past her to the door. "And don't mention you-know-who to the others. It'll be hard enough to earn their trust as it is."

"Fine."

"Is that all you can say now?"

"Yes!"

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

_(You call me crazy, yet you just told her tha-)_

_)Save it. I already got the dressing down from her.(_

I didn't bother actually walking to get a ration pack, I just pulled it and the tray to me Biotically.

I heard Kaiden muttering about being a showoff as I sat down next to Ashley, but I really couldn't disagree. Shepard sat down on Ashley's other side.

_At least Iron shut up. _

_(You know you just jinxed yourself by saying that. And seriously, if you're going to be this much of a moron, how is it physically possible that you haven't died yet?)_

I focused on the conversation to drown him out.

"So did you catch him?" Tali asked.

"No. C-Sec wouldn't firing and risk the hostages." Garrus replied.

"What did I miss?" Shepard asked.

"Just something… disturbing that I investigated while I was at C-sec a while back."

I fought back a sigh.

"I ended up investigating a Salarian geneticist. I was tasked with investigating black market trade on the citadel."

"If he was a geneticist, I'm guessing it was organs that were being sold?" I faux-asked.

"Yeah, thing was,"

"His labs were clean? No organs you could find?"

"Bourne, shut up and let me tell the story."

I chuckled at that.

"Anyway, I eventually got ahold of a sample and ran a DNA test. Odd thing: They led us to a Turian very much alive and convinced that he'd never lost his liver. And he'd been briefly employed by Dr. Saleon."

_(Yawn.)_

"So I had several of his employees in for interrogation. During the interview,"

Shepard cleared her throat and crossed her arms. "You mean interrogation. Was that really necessary?"

I shrugged. "I'd try to avoid it, but sometimes that'd be what it takes."

"Maybe it was needed, maybe it wasn't, but it paid off. During the interview, one of my detainees started bleeding profusely."

"He freaked out when you offered to patch him up, you ordered a full scan, and you found that the *good* doctor was cloning organs inside their bodies?"

I swear, the silence was such that I could have heard a pin drop. Heck, I would have been able to hear a feather hitting a pillow. Everyone's eyes were on me.

_(Wow. Bang up job there moron. How are you going to get yourself out of this one?)_

"More or less." Garrus said, obviously and justifiable suspicious.

"I get the feeling I'm going to regret asking this, but how did you know that Bourne?" Tali said.

I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "If that one Turian still had his liver, and yet Garrus had an identical one from him, the best explanation is cloning. And if he started bleeding, but there was no cause, it would mean a recent wound had reopened. And since it would have had to be stitched to reopen, it would mean a recent incision to remove an organ. Yet if that was the case, Garrus wouldn't have discovered it, so it must mean that an organ was implanted. It makes perfect sense"

They stared at me.

"It's elementary my dear Watson." I said with a grin. I could feel Iron mentally facepalming.

Garrus shrugged. "Anyway, that was our big break. It happened more or less like Bourne said. They weren't just Dr. Saleon's employees, they were living, walking, test-tubes."

"So why did you think this was a good story to tell while we were eating?" Ashley asked, pushing her food away. I shook from the effort of not laughing at the look on her face.

"Did you catch him?" Shepard asked, glancing at me from the corner of her eye.

"That's the worst part. We didn't."

"Ok, so first you make me want to puke, then you tell us that you didn't catch the guy anyway?" Ashley shook her head.

I chuckled. "So you always need stories with a happy ending?"

"Jason, shut up."

"So why didn't you catch him?" Kaiden cut across. His very voice made me guilty.

_(Ok, seriously, can we just head to Virmire now, kill him, and be done with it? It's bad enough that you're guilty before it even happens.)_

"He shut down his lab, grabbed some of his employees, and headed for the nearest spaceport."

"So that's where the C-sec refusing to shoot him down comes in?" Shepard guessed.

"He threatened to kill his hostages if we tried. C-sec didn't want to risk it."

"You don't put much stock in watching out for civilians, do you?" Ashley observed. "You really didn't think about Dr. Michele either; you just shot the thug, even though she was still in harm's way."

"You want to talk about people not being careful? With who you're dating?"

"Both of you, knock it off." Shepard said.

I cleared my throat. "So they countermanded the order?" I decided to just ignore Garrus' comment. I still was banged up from yesterday, though at least Chakwas had been able to fix my nose faster than it would have taken it to heal. It was still tempting to hit him though. And that was without Iron.

"They were worried about civilian casualties if they shot down the ship that close to the citadel. But those hostages were dead anyway; he was only going to use them to make more organs."

Shepard shrugged. "I guess I can see both sides of the argument."

"I can't. I went to Palin, and told him-"

"You basically called him a stupid Boshtet?" Tali guessed.

Garrus chuckled. "Not quite in so strong a language, but basically yes. He said if I didn't like it, then I could quit."

"But you didn't until more recently." I said. "You ever find out what happened to him?"

"I put some feelers out with my contacts. I may have found him a while back; he switched ships and got a new name. 'Dr. Heart.' His idea of a joke I guess."

Shepard grimaced. "Sounds like he has a pretty poor sense of humor."

_(I don't know, I thought it was pretty funny.)_

_)You think that anything to do with murder or torture is funny.(_

_(Not everything. Though when I first saw your memories of "Dexter" I thought it was a comedy.)_

_)You have a very fucked up mind, do you know that?(_

"I told the military, but they weren't convinced it was him. I got the transponder frequency for his ship, but no one will check it out."

Shepard smiled. "You mean you couldn't get someone to check it out then. But since this ship is under Spectre classification…"

"I was hoping you'd say that. I'll give you the coordinates."

Ashley sighed. "Since I lost my appetite over this guy, I may as well go too."

"What about Virmire?" Kaiden asked. Iron burst out laughing at the Irony of the question.

Shepard shrugged. "Until we can be sure it isn't a wild goose chase, we might as well investigate this."

I hesitated, but I needed to be on Garrus' good side, and this was the best way I could think of get on it. "Alright. I'll go program in the coordinates." Garrus uploaded them from his Omni-tool to mine.

I looked at where the ship was compared to where we were. _A quick pass through a Mass Relay, followed by some FTL travel, _"Should be there in about two hours."

Shepard nodded. "You go do that, then meet down on the shooting range. I want some more help with training Liara." She went to the medbay, though she was obviously going to their room. I shook my head at their efforts to hide what everyone knew. But considering the unneeded images I already got, I was fine with all the detail I knew now.

I shivered and went to upload the coordinates.

* * *

><p><strong>Tali<strong>

Shepard's leaving seemed to signal that it was time for everyone else to leave.

Kaiden went over to file reports at his Terminal (at least that's what Tali thought he was doing) while the others piled into the elevator.

Tali still crammed herself into the corner out of habit; besides, Wrex was big enough to take up a quarter of the space by himself.

When the door opened, they all headed to their respective areas. Tali didn't even have to think about what she was doing by this point, it just seemed natural.

She hated herself for it, but she really wished that Bourne and Shepard would have picked her instead of Ashley for the mission. Garrus clearly hated that the doctor had gotten away, and she wanted to help him make up for it.

Tali sighed. _In any species, men are just as problematic. _Garrus was on her mind almost constantly, and she blushed as she remembered the dream she'd had last night. He had accepted her appearance without any doubt.

She touched her mask unconsciously. _But would he accept me so easily in reality? Even I haven't seen my face more than a handful of times. Not once since leaving the migrant fleet._

She couldn't stand this anymore. "Adams, can you excuse me for a minute? I just remembered something."

"I guess we can spare you."

"Thanks." She stepped away from the console and headed through the doors to talk to Ashley, and ask her for some advice. Then she realized that that with Garrus working on the Mako nearby, there was no way that he wouldn't overhear.

She stopped in the doorway, thinking. _Well, I wasn't really expecting Ashley to help much anyway. But I bet that Shepard would; maybe even Liara. They could be discreet if I asked them too._

She decided that it was her best option, so she headed for the shooting range.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I had put up with a lot since being here. Most of the time, I could shake it off.

But. Iron's. Laughing. Would. Not. Stop.

I forced back a groan as Liara missed the target entirely. It had only been about 90 minutes, but time was dragging on so it felt like five hours.

Shepard didn't look disappointed so much as worried; probably because she didn't want something to happen to her in a fight. If she had her way, and I'd probably let her, Liara wouldn't be leaving the ship on a mission any time soon.

When she missed the target again, I forced myself not to scream. Instead, I brought up my Omni-tool and canceled the program.

Shepard turned and glared at me. "Was that really necessary?"

"No offense, but this isn't really helping any of us. Liara's just losing confidence, you're just worrying about what could happen in a fight, and I'm about one more missed shot away from going bonkers."

"Going where?" Liara asked.

I let myself laugh at that. "Figure of speech. I have a better idea."

Iron of course new what I was thinking and told me I should reconsider it. I ignored him.

"Pretend I'm a mercenary attacking one of your dig sites." My hand swept up, gun in hand. Liara's Biotics activated on instinct.

I was promptly thrown backward against the wall. I hung there a moment before Liara let me down.

_Oww._

_(I told you that was a dumb idea.)_

_)You think all my ideas are dumb.(_

_(Name one Idea of yours that hasn't backfired.)_

_)I don't know, keeping you from killing me seems to have panned out rather well.(_

That shut him up.

"Bourne, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen you do. And you've done some stupid things."

"Yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence Shepard." I replied, getting a crink out of my neck.

Liara just stood there, still glowing. "Was there a point to that that I don't understand, or-"

"Oddly enough, I did have a point. Shepard worries too much."

That time I let her slug me. "Bourne, you almost got turned into a stain on the wall."

I held my hands up, stopping her. "Exactly. You seem to be forgetting that shooting something isn't the only way to… " I thought better of saying 'killing it'; Liara was still _somewhat_ innocent. "take it down. Liara's… a pretty powerful Biotic."

They stared at me. "Ok, better than me." I admitted grudgingly.

Then Shepard started yelling at me some more for wasting time that could have been spent training her, while Liara tried to stop her, pointing out that I was right.

I took a slow, deep breath, and started counting off seconds. After I reached 120 I decided enough was enough and put them both into Stasis. They started at me from inside the energy fields.

I waited for what I judged to be a minute. "Now, I'm going to let you two out of there, and you're going to listen calmly to what I have to say. Blink twice if you agree, blink once if I need to leave you in there for a while."

Shepard glared at me, but she agreed. She worked out a cramp caused by being held rigid.

"My point was, Liara's isn't as weak as you seem to think Shepard."

"I don't think she's weak, I think that she isn't ready for combat missions like we are."

I sighed. _Why did I have to make her this stubborn?_ "Know what? Forget it. I won't bother arguing over something that won't matter."

Shepard immediately latched onto it. "Why doesn't it matter?"

I groaned. "Shepard, when there is something vitally important, I will tell you then. I'm not going to sit here and gossip about who's going to do what when. You're lucky I've told you what little I have; this is on a need-to-know basis."

"How is it you can be this stubborn, even though you're from the future?"

I grimaced at her assumption, but my attention was instead drawn by my enhanced hearing.

To a small intake of breath. Going through an envirosuit.

Iron and I had the same thought for once. _Crap._

* * *

><p><strong>Tali.<strong>

Tali watched from the door as Bourne held the two in Stasis. She had heard shouting from Shepard before she got to the room, and been shocked to see that Bourne was restraining them.

After a moment, he said he'd let them out if they'd listen to what he had to say. Tali decided to put her shotgun away at that point; she doubted it would be much use against Bourne anyway.

Tali was a little confused by the exchange, but guessed that Shepard was worried about bringing Liara into battle.

But even a Child fresh out of their bubble would understand what Shepard said when he was from the future. Tali flashed back to how he'd known about Dr. Saleon and she gasped. _He knew exactly what would happen. _She gasped at the realization.

Bourne's head snapped towards her, and his eyes glowed.

She watched in silence a moment, before he turned back to the others. _Keelah, I thought he was going to… I don't even know what he'd do. _"Shepard, I really wish you hadn't said it like that."

His head snapped back. "I know you're there Tali." His voice was expressionless, as was his face. His body language though, said that he was concerned, and trying to hide it.

She considered turning to run, but his eyes bored into her. Slowly, she opened the door and stepped through.

Shepard and Liara looked at her in shock. "I have very good ears. "he said in a dry voice. "But how good were yours just now?"

Tali hesitated. "I heard what Shepard said."

He raised that patch of hair above his eye. _An eyebrow? Is that what it's called?_ "And?

Tali stared at him, glad her expression was hidden. Questions raced through her mind. _How far from the future is he? How much does he know? Why did he tell Shepard? Why is he here? How is he here? _"Did you know what would happen to me?" She finally asked. "In the com room?"

He grimaced. "Not the question I was expecting, but I suppose it's the one you most deserve to ask. No, that was caused by Iron, as I said before."

Tali could tell he was telling the truth. He was good at keeping his expression neutral, but his body language was almost too easy for her to read.

"Bourne?" Shepard question.

"Honestly Shepard, the way you're constantly digging for information about what I know, I'm amazed this hasn't happened sooner."

"So why didn't you just tell her it was a joke instead of admitting it outright?"

"Because I'd like for one person to know that isn't constantly trying to use it." He glanced at Liara. "Well, maybe someone I actually choose rather than has to be told because it's unavoidable."

He shrugged. "Better her than Garrus or Kaiden. Either of them would probably try putting my head on a stake."

Tali glared at him. "Garrus isn't like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Tali, he's called me a traitor several times, to my face I might add, and we ended up in a fist fight. Not to mention nearly refusing to let you remove that restraint yesterday. If he found out about _this_, he'd probably be a little mad, don't you think? And I was being sarcastic about 'little'."

"So just when are you from?"

"Avoiding the Question? Eh, I can respect that in this case. I'm a little sketchy on the exact date, but it's from an alternate timeline where all this has become little more than fiction over time."

She narrowed her eyes. "And that's how you knew about Dr. Saleon?"

"Mostly."

Shepard stepped between them. "Just how much are you planning to tell her?"

"As much as I think is necessary."

_Do I really want to know what happens in the future? _She asked herself. _I don't know that I have that right anyway. Still, I don't suppose that one question could hurt._

"Will Garrus and I be happy together in the future?"

Bourne's face twisted comically. Tali didn't know that Human eyes could widen that much. "Wait, what?"

Tali repeated the question.

Bourne and Shepard looked at each other in shock.

"Are you saying that you and Garrus are dating?" Shepard finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Not quite, but we have talked about it."

Bourne's eyes slumped up in his head and he fell to the ground.

Shepard got down on her knees next to him and began slapping him in the face.

_Ok, maybe I should have asked about a pilgrimage gift._

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

"Not quite, but we have talked about it."

My mind had enough trouble wrapping around Shepard's question, but when my brain caught up with her answer, it was a bit much to handle.

I woke back up to Shepard assaulting my face.

"I'm fine, I'm fine" I waved her hands away.

I got back to my feet slowly.

"Are you alright Bourne?" Tali asked, concerned.

I forced a dry chuckle. "That never happened in the stories." _Well, maybe in a few fan fics, but not many._

I was still in shock; the only good thing was that Iron was also shocked. Speechless, thank god.

Tali's shoulders seemed to slump. "So you have no idea what happens?"

I thought of her father, her trial, her possible banishment, her possible death by collector, "Not about that." I had told too many lies lately, so I merely withheld what else I knew.

Tali sighed. "Then I don't have anything else I want to know."

"You sure?" I asked, surprised by that as well.

"I'm sure."

I nodded. I had no right to force the knowledge on her if she didn't want it.

The four of us stood there awkwardly.

I decided that the best response was to dash for the showers (before Shepard or Liara could get in there) and lock the door. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and turned on the water.

I toweled off in silence, mulling over the implications.

_(Well, at least you never have to worry about her hitting on you in the future.)_

It took me a full five seconds to get the joke, but I burst out laughing when it hit me. _)Yeah, that might have been awkward.( _

_(Garrus better hope she likes a man with scars though.)_

My smile faded.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard glanced after Bourne, but didn't comment on it. She stood, looking at nothing, trying to think of something to say.

"So, where you coming here for any other reason Tali?" Liara asked finally. She still looked a little confused about all this, and Shepard couldn't blame her love. She'd been shocked when Shepard had shared the memories of what Bourne had told her. But she felt grateful that he was willing to trust her with the knowledge.

"Well, I was going to ask you for… well, you aren't dating someone from your own species either." She looked at the door Bourne had ran through. "Though I'd been hoping to be a little more discreet." She snaked a hand around to her shotgun, seemingly unconsciously. "If he starts telling everyone,"

"He won't. He figured out about Liara and I ages before the rest of you saw it, but he kept to himself when I asked."

"So I should probably ask him not to spread it around; I really doubt you want him and Garrus fighting again."

"No. Not so much."

Joker's voice cut across on the coms. "Uh, commander, we're about twenty minutes out."

"Thanks for the head's up Joker."

Tali swore under her breath. "That's twice a mission's kept me from talking to you about this."

Shepard laughed. "Yeah, Joker doesn't have very good timing. Tell you what, when Ashley and I get back, maybe we can have some sort of girls night, maybe give you some advice then."

"I'll think about it."

"No pressure. I just figured… well, Ashley actually had to deal with sisters having crushes." she fought to keep tears away as she remembered her own sisters on mindoir. But the recollections were foggy, forever shattered by the trauma.

The doors slid open, and Bourne stepped back out.

Tali turned to him before he took three steps. "Bourne, if you tell anybody about Garrus and I-"

"Tali, threats really aren't your thing. But try 'I have a shotgun' next time, and it might actually work."

Shepard facepalmed. "Bourne, go get suited up, or argue with Garrus, or flirt with Ashley or something."

He nodded. "I'll go tell Ash and Garrus to get ready if they aren't. Hm, least we don't have to use the Mako this time."

Tali cleared her throat. "Um, about that… I was hoping you might consider bringing me instead of Ashley?"

"Not a chance. Saleon's bound to have spilled a lot of blood in his experiments, which means a good chance of infection for you."

Tali looked ready to argue, but she nodded. "Alright. You have a point."

"Have you never seen how many knives I carry? I always have a point." He chuckled.

Shepard sighed and headed for the shower. _I can't shoot him, I can't shoot him, I can't shoot him, I can't shoot him,_ She reminded herself_ I can hit him though, there is that._

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

It only took me a minute to get my armor on, but my mind was still distracted.

I took a breath, trying to focus; it didn't do as much as it did in movies.

"You ok Jason?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Ash. Just a little bit… surprised by something."

"What's that?"

I was very aware of Garrus, already suited up and waiting for us. "Never mind."

I grabbed my spare rifle, and stripped it down. I took a breath, and put it back together. I did it several times, the repetitive motions focusing me. It helped me stay calm.

When I closed my eyes and still could do it, I stored it.

Ashley was watching me with an interesting expression. "You alright?"

"I'm ready to shoot something."

"So I guess that's a yes."

"Something like that."

We headed for the bridge. The elevator ride never did seem to take as long with Ashley there.

When the doors opened, I smiled. "You two go on ahead of me a bit."

"Jason, I'm not going to let you sneak up on Joker and scare the life out of him."

Garrus looked torn between the joke, and cutting me off.

_Buzzkills. Then again, Shepard would probably kick my ass for doing it. And I was hit by her enough today._

I groaned and headed for the cockpit, not being as stealthy as usual.

"Hey Shepard, the ship isn't responding to my hails."

"Wrong Spectre Joker. I'm the one that threatens, she's the negotiator."

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that. You want me to keep hailing them, or?"

I'd almost forgotten I was in charge when Shepard wasn't around. "We gave them their warning. Dock with them, and we'll board. They try running, take out their engines."

He glanced at me over his shoulder. "You don't go by protocol much, do you?"

_Mostly because I don't know what those protocols are._ "Nice thing about being a Spectre. They can't do anything about it."

I watched the ship get larger in the viewpoint as we got closer. Joker only needed the one try to hook up with it.

_(Probably the only time he's ever done that.)_

_)Gross.(_

I heard faint footsteps behind me. "You took your time in there Shepard. Did Liara drop the soap or something?"

_(And yet you call me out when I do it.)_

Shepard's face turned red enough that Garrus and Ashley took several steps back from her. I wouldn't say I was worried, but I may have flicked a knife into each hand on instinct. "Bourne, if you weren't my friend, I'd shoot you."

I took that as a good signal to shut up and move into the airlock. And a good signal to put up an Biotic "Keep from being in the face by Shepard" barrier.

We moved into the ship, assault rifles at the ready.

As we moved through the corridors, I gagged at a sudden smell.

"Ok Bourne, I know that was you."

"Hey Garrus, shut up. And don't make me make it a standing order."

My radar suddenly flashed with a horde of red dots.

Shepard glanced at me. "Any thoughts?"

"Switch to shotguns."

Ash and Shepard took my advice, while I switched to my side arm. "Cover me."

To put it one way, my "Spidersense" was tingling. Or as I rounded the corner and almost ran into what looked like a Thorian creeper, maybe it should have been called a "Zombie Sense."

My gun was raised, blowing it's head off before I even fully saw it. The others rushed in at the sound, and so did a few more of the experiments.

I flared my Biotics, pushing away the wall of Zombie things. Garrus hit them with a storm of Bullets, while the two soldiers picked their shots.

Shepard hurled a grenade, sticking to the wall behind the creatures.

I put up the strongest barrier I could, and shoved the others back with a burst of power.

The grenade wiped out about half of the creatures, and knocked me flat on my back.

I got to my knees, and saw one of the Zombies standing over me. I warped it, and it's green blood spattered across my shields.

"Bourne, you ok?"

My eyes glowed. "I'm pissed off." The rest of the horde rushed me, and I hit them with everything I had. The wave of Biotic power knocked them apart. My gun was in my hand, firing before I was even fully aware of it. I cursed as it overheated, but it was holstered on my hip, and knives were flying into them before the word was even out of my mouth. The adrenline rush faded, along with my Biotics, and I fell to my knees.

I heard a shot behind me, and turned to see a single form fall, a small hole in the center of its head.

"Nice shot commander." Garrus commented.

Shepard stored her Sniper rifle. "Nobody gets to hurt Bourne but me."

"Sorry skipper, I think that's my privilege too."

I groaned. _Women!_

_(I might have more sympathy if you hadn't just cheated death again.)_

_)You want me to call whine-1-1 for you? Order you a Waahmbulance?(_

_(Grow up.)_

"Come on, let's find Saleon."

"When I find him…"

"Hey Garrus, Shepard and Jason are in charge here, not you."

"If I get a shot, I'm taking it."

Shepard stepped between them. "Ease up you two."

I slipped out of the large room while Shepard was dressing them down. I might have helped, but Garrus already hated me, and I didn't want Ash to level me face first into a wall. Plus, I needed to catch my breath. I'd never exhausted myself that much besides Feros. And I wasn't going to give Iron a chance to take over again.

I remembered the layout in game, but I still checked the cockpit first, making sure he hadn't hid. But it appeared my paradoxical powers were still in play.

"Bourne, you have no patience at all, you know that? You could have waited."

"Shepard, I'm not in the mood. Let's just shoot this guy and get out of here."

Garrus was already hacking a locked door. "For once Bourne, we agree."

The door opened, revealing a very ugly salarian. His skin looked almost mummified. He threw himself at Shepard's feet.

"Thank you. Thank you for saving me from those things." _Wow, this guy is a pathetic actor._

Garrus and I already had our pistols trained on him. "That's him Commander. This is Doctor Saleon."]

I slowly moved closer, keeping my pistol trained on his head.

"What? My name is Heart! Please, get me out of here, before more of those things show up."

Garrus pressed his gun to *Heart's* head. "I wouldn't worry about that. You won't be preforming any more experiments." he lifted him up, pressing him against the wall.

"Please! Get this maniac off of me!"

_(Wow. He's an even worse actor then you are.)_

Shepard seemed to think so as well, but she still hesitated. "Garrus, are you sure it's him?"

"Positive."

I smiled. "Hey Garrus, let me see him for a moment."

I walked closer, putting the gun away. "You're a doctor. Tell me, how many bones are in your body?"

"What?"

I lowered my voice to deadly whisper. It made him quiver "Think about how much it would hurt to have me break them one by one. That's a lot of bones. I guess I better get started now if I want to finish in time for dinner. Of course, if that doesn't work, I can get more creative. See how many organs I can harvest from you before you die." My strategy for threatening him was really just to copy how Iron normally sounded. And it worked.

"You're Crazy! You're both Crazy! Please, get them away from me!"

Shepard grabbed Garrus' gun. "Enough, both of you. We'll take him in and drop him off with the military."

Garrus was trained to follow orders, but he never had really listened to them. "But we have him. I'm not letting him get away. Not again."

Shepard kept her voice calm. "If we kill him, we never find out all he did. We can take him in and interrogate him, then he serves his time."

"Shepard, I've-"

I flicked a knife into my hand. "If it's any consolation, I'll let you help with the tort-I mean interrogating." I shot Shepard a glance telling her I wasn't being serious.

The doctor trembled. "Please,"

Garrus looked at him for what seemed an eternity. "Ok. You're right." He put his gun away. "You're a very lucky Salarian. You owe the commander your life." He gave him a shove against the wall.

"Oh, thank you so very much." He said, voice full of sarcasm.

I sent a knife into his head before his gun even cleared his holster. I'd been hoping he might listen to reason, but figured that it would never happen with me around.

I pulled the knife out, wiping it on the corpse. "Huh, killing a Butcher with a knife. Sort of obvious really."

Shepard glared at me.

"It was a gut reaction Shepard. Would you have rather I let him shoot Garrus? Because if you want me to punch him to make up for it, just say the word."

Garrus stared at the corpse. "And so he dies anyway. What was the point of that?

"You can't control how people will react Garrus." She looked at me for emphasis. "But you can control how you respond." She slugged me in the shoulder. "In the end, that's what really matters."

"Next time Shepard, can you do that without using me as a live demonstration?"

"I don't think I've ever met anyone like you commander." Garrus commented. "And thank the spirits that Bourne is one-of-a-kind as well."

"Can we just get back to the Normandy before Shepard hits me again?" I pleaded.

Ashley laughed. "There's never a dull moment with you around."

"Um, thanks?"

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, Virmire will probably not be until chapter after this one. I'm still nailing a few things down, and I need a way to bridge the gap between them.<strong>

**Which is mostly going to be conversations between people on the way there, but still. (If you have any good suggestions, I'd appreciate hearing them. Sometimes coming up with stuff not in the game is a bigger pain in the neck than Dracula.**

**Until next time, **Keelah Se'lai****


	46. Poker and Preparations

**Ok, I'm going to level with you all. If I'd been told four months ago I'd be writing a story that lots of people seem to be interested in, I'd have Tazed the person and called the nut house. **

**Seriously though, I've been reading back, and I keep feeling like I could improve some parts somehow. Unfortunately, improving my own work has proven to be very tricky. I did a rewrite after chapter 19 when I finally had some semblance of knowing what I was doing, and I plan to "George Lucas" it again after I finish. **

**That's my plan. Write this one, go over it and make it as perfect as possible, write sequel, write threequel; then write another version of the sequel which goes down another path (But without quite becoming AU) and a threequel from there.**

**For instance, should the scene where I lie to Anderson be changed to Bourne's POV since it stands as the only scene from Anderson's? I've been wondering about that for a while. The three POVs for this story are only going to be Bourne, Shepard, and Tali, (Though the sequels will have many more) so I'm wondering if it really fits there. (I'd been planning on having the scene with the reporter as a new report Anderson was watching, but it didn't pan out and there aren't any other scenes for him I can think of.)**

**Ok, got off topic there. My reason for writing this huge author's note is: How can I improve? Longer descriptions, more action, less action, more dialogue, less dialogue- I'm still new to this. I want this to be as good as possible. Mainly because I want to be able to just write the chapters, not go over them a hundred times. **

**I don't want to skip out on the rest of this story, but I really want to see Bourne arguing with Miranda, and Samara, and Grunt and you get the idea. **

**We now return to our already scheduled chapter, already in progress.**

* * *

><p>It was sort of odd under the circumstances, but I was actually having a good time.<p>

Then again, considering the size of my poker chip pile, I had good reason.

The ladies (though that term couldn't really apply to them) were having some sort of girl's night out in the shooting bay. It was the only place big enough, and Tali had apparently figured out how to wire a vid into the holo projectors that simulated enemies.

It had been tempting to place a bug in there to see if Ashley would be talking about me, or to hear Tali gushing over a certain turian. Shepard of course had seen it coming, and told me she was going to have Tali do a sweep of the place. And if she found anything, I'd be toast.

I hastily told Joker he better not pull anything either. He said he hadn't been planning anything far too quickly for me to believe him.

But he came up with a better idea. Poker night in the mess hall.

Well, judging from Garrus' expression, he might not have thought it was such a good idea. But he was too eager to try beating me not to be game.

Between Garrus, Wrex, Joker, and Dr. Chakwas, I had my ass handed to me at first. I couldn't read alien expressions and Joker and Chakwas had played before.

Iron buzzing in my ear hadn't helped.

There hadn't been much conversation at first, we were just trying to learn each other's strategies. I didn't have much of one. I didn't play poker much on earth; I could never keep a cool face in games.

I no longer had that problem now though. Unfortunately, I still sucked at playing cards.

"You sure you wouldn't rather hang out with the girls Bourne?" Garrus mocked as I slid a few chips over to him.

"No, but maybe you should. Bit of lipstick'd probably improve your looks."

At least he stopped looking at me like I was going to blow someone's head off at any given moment. Now he was looking at me like he thought I might steal his chips when he wasn't looking. And I wasn't crazy enough to do that. Joker's were much closer and I had no fear of retribution from him.

"So what were you doing today Wrex?" I asked, trying to actually start a conversation. It was much easier to act natural since Kaiden had gotten another Migraine and turned in early.

_(Probably the last time he'll ever sleep)_

I almost agreed with Iron about wanting it done and over with so I could stop sweating over it. Even if Shepard kicked me out, Ash would be alive. That was the more important thing to me.

No, the most important thing.

"Shot a few things on the shooting range. Then I Biotically ripped apart a few thing on the shooting range." He glanced at his cards, and tossed in a few chips. "I might still be there now if Shepard and your mate weren't there."

I was very glad I wasn't drinking something, or I would have done a spit take. It took a lot to not react.

Joker had no such inhibitions though. "Mate? You and Tali or something-" his words died in his throat as Garrus and I both gave him our super-death-glares. He gulped as he looked at my glowing eyes, and at Garrus' visor hiding his eye. It was a struggle to maintain the glare and not laugh at the look on his face.

"I think he meant Chief Williams." Chakwas interceded. _Guess she doesn't want to have to patch someone up. And Joker would need a lot of things fixed if he pissed me off._

"Wait, you and Ash? Huh, you know, I can actually see that. You both are tough as nails, both like making fun of me, and both like shooting stuff." He waved a finger at me. "That's against regs you know."

I pushed in my wager and swapped out a few cards. "Joker, three things. First of all, I'm a Spectre, so regs don't apply. Secondly, if you plan to call me out on it, also make plans to have a lot of splints and pain medicine nearby. Wheelchair wouldn't be a bad idea either."

I paused as I looked at my new cards.

"So, what's the third thing?" Joker asked nervously.

I laid my cards on the table. "Read em and weep." A full house. _Sometimes it's better to be lucky than skilled._ I was still down several hundred, but I was making a comeback by then.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard felt Liara's hand slide on to hers again, but she couldn't care less. She loved Liara, and Liara loved her. What else did she need to know?

Tali and Ashley were absorbed in the vid the Quarian had downloaded. It was called Fleet and Flotilla; Shepard didn't take long to figure out why Tali had chosen it.

"So Ashley, what's the deal with you and Bourne?" Shepard asked.

"Honestly, sometimes I want to hug him, sometimes I want to shoot him."

Shepard chuckled. "That's a lot like how I see him." Shepard considered Bourne a friend, but sometimes he made her wonder why she'd ever put him forward as a Spectre.

Tali shook her head. "I will never understand humans."

"You mean you'll never understand men." Ashley replied with a smile.

"That too."

"So did you have your eye on anybody back in the flotilla?"

"No."

Shepard covered her mouth to keep from laughing. It wouldn't take long now.

"So has anybody on board caught your eye?" Shepard asked jokingly.

"You know I do Shepard."

Ashley turned to her in surprise. "Really? Who?"

Tali turned back to the movie, stammering that she'd rather not say.

The movie was at a very sensitive part; the quarian was about to remove her mask and show the Turian her face for the first time. Tali's eyes were riveted on his expression.

Ashley looked at the screen, then back at Tali. "Wait, Garrus?"

Tali's rapid denial was enough of an answer.

"Well, unless we have a stowaway, he's the only Turian on board, and you're the one that picked this particular movie."

"This conversation is over."

Shepard laughed. "Sorry Tali, I think she figured it out."

Tali looked at her. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Always, you know tha-"

"You two are the most obnoxious Bosh'tets I've ever met."

Shepard glared at her, but a smile began tugging at her lips.

Ashley just chuckled and turned back to the movie. "Well Skipper, you did give her full permission."

Shepard couldn't hold back the smile. "Ok, but I'd like to point out that you're the one that chose the most obvious possible movie."

Tali sighed. "I know, but… I wouldn't know how to react if I'd fallen for a Quarian, let alone someone that isn't even the same species as me." She hurriedly looked at Shepard and Liara. "I mean, I just never-"

"It's alright Tali." Liara assured her. "To be honest, I'm as surprised as anyone that Shepard and I have found each other."

Shepard smiled. "But what a great surprise."

"Will you two get a room?" Ashley joked.

"But we are in a room Chief Williams." Liara said.

The two marines burst out laughing.

"Commander, if you don't mind my asking, how exactly did you get together?" Tali asked.

That gave Shepard pause.

"I guess it just sort of happened. I went in there every day for a week to check on her, but eventually I realized that it wasn't my only reason anymore." She didn't say that she'd always been interested in either gender; that was none of their business. "Once I got past the blue skin, I saw what a beautiful person was in front of me."

She realized that she sounded like a teenage girl gushing over her first crush and decided to change the subject. "What about you Ash? How'd you and Jason end up together?"

"Honestly, when he first came on board, I hated him." she said bluntly. "But that was because I was jealous. He was a mercenary, and he had been promoted to a higher rank than me in one day. I thought it was disrespectful to my team mates that he could just join by asking. But Anderson wanted him, so there he was."

"Well, Bourne is a hard guy to like. The closest he lets people get is a joke."

"Or if he's killing them. I thought he was going to just be a coldblooded killer. But then I saw how he really was. He had the same emotions as all of us, he just works harder to keep them hidden." She laughed. "And if you piss him off, you better start praying to god."

Shepard chuckled as well. "You still didn't answer my question."

"Well, when he helped me get my teammate's body to her husband, I just lost it. I hugged him, and I didn't care who saw it. The look on his face when he realized it… made me think it had been a mistake."

She glanced at the screen as a ship blew up. "But I saw the way he was looking at me from the corner of his eye. He was still trying to decide."  
>"But what really surprised me is that he didn't care what species someone was, he cared who they are on the inside."<p>

She glanced at Liara and Tali guiltily. "I didn't really agree at first, but lately I've been beginning to see his point. I mean, don't get me wrong, I trust you two, but I always got nervous around Wrex and Garrus."

"How could someone not be nervous around Wrex?" Liara said wryly.

"You know what I mean. But really Skipper, I don't know when it hit me. Maybe it was when he saved my life, but I think it was when I almost lost him after Therum."

She glanced at Tali. "You want to know something I told my sisters? Men are impossible to live with. But you really can't live without them either."

Tali laughed. "My auntie Raan said something similar."

_I'm glad I don't have to worry about that. _ Everyone turned to look at Shepard. "Crap. I said that out loud, didn't I?"

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

That full house had gotten me a lot, but I was still losing.

"So does anybody know what the others are doing?" Chakwas asked.

I smiled. "I think I remember Tali saying something about a movie called… Oh, what was it?" I pretended to ask myself.

I turned to look at Garrus. "What's that other name for the migrant fleet?"

"The Flotilla."

"Oh right. Fleet and Flotilla. I never heard of it, have you?" This was just too much fun to rub his face in.

"I hear it won a lot of awards, it's some romance vid." He kept his face and tone neutral.

I shrugged and turned back to the cards with a grin. When I saw what I had, my grin faded.

"What's the matter Bourne, worried Shepard might catch someone else's eye-"

I let blue fire engulf my hand. He looked ready to wet himself. "Hey Joker?" I flipped him the Biotic Bird. "Shut up."

I turned back to my cards, trying to decide if I should fold.

_(Lose the five.)_

_)Did I ask for your opinion?( _

I looked again and saw he was right. I swapped it out and ended up with two pairs. I decided to stay in, and pushed in my chips.

The others laid their cards down, and Joker won. I made note of what cards I saw as the deck was shuffled. It took me a minute to figure out why.

_Wait a minute… perfect memory…cards in a certain order…_

_(How did you not see that sooner?)_

_)I only saw that movie once.(_

_(… I'm not even going to ask.)_

I started doing better after that, keeping track of which cards went where. And drawing a few of Joker's chips my way with singularities under the table helped too.

And having a secret helper…well, helped.

_)Just why are you helping me with this?( _

_(I literally have nothing to do otherwise but think or scheme. This is a nice change of pace.)_

I grimaced before I put my pokerface back in place. But looking at my great hand, I decided it was a shrewd move.

_Ok, so Joker should have a full house, and Wrex has two pairs. But if I switch this out-_

_(No, discard that other one, then you'll have a four of a kind.)_

I still would have a higher hand though, so I ignored him; I didn't want to seem like I was cheating.

_(What do you call stealing chips from Joker?)_

_)Why so serious about Joker's odds?(_

_(*_Facepalm_* I hate you so much right now.)_

_)I call it payback for the earlier cracks.( _It was either that, or he'd be hurting for the next several weeks.

If he had the choice, he'd probably prefer this one.

"So Bourne, in all seriousness-"

"Joker, pick your next words very carefully."

"Geez, crack one Joke and you want to make me crack."

"I think 'snap' would be a more apt term."

He glanced at his pile of Chips, which was much smaller than earlier. "What is the deal with you and Ash?"

I kept my face composed, still keeping an eye on the chips. "Short version Joker: it's what I call nunya."

"Nunya?"

"Yeah, nunya business." Iron mentally facepalmed. _(Arggh, just kill me now so I don't have to put up with you any longer.) _

Garrus chuckled. "Oh come on Bourne, you have to give us more than that."

My lips formed a thin smile. "You first Garrus. Anybody on board caught your eye?"

"Why would you think that?"

_Damn, he's a good liar. _

_(Comes from working at C-sec and having to interrogate suspects.)_

"Suit yourself." I laid my cards on the table. "Full house."

Joker and Garrus groaned and slid me my chips.

"Huh, you only seem to bet when you have a sure thing." Wrex observed.

I shrugged. "Hey, not my fault I'm that good."

Garrus watched me closely. "Do you read minds somehow, or are you just cheating?"

I mock gasped. "Me, a cheater?"

"Yes." The three chimed in unison.

Chakwas watched with a small smile.

"Ok, how would I be cheating?"

"Marked cards?" Garrus suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, why would I pick something that obvious?"

I smiled and counted up my chips. "You really want to know how I do it?"

"You aren't going to tell us, you're just going to make some dumb joke."

"Yep." I glanced at my cards and folded. "So why bother asking?"

Garrus looked at his cards, and put in a large bet. "But just as well that you didn't stay in Bourne."

Joker folded, and so did Wrex.

Chakwas hesitated.

"He's bluffing." I said.

She folded anyway, and Garrus revealed his hand: A pair of sixes.

I laughed. "Told you. He just cyked you out."

Garrus looked annoyed despite his win. "And yet you folded anyway."

"I folded because I didn't have a good hand. These three folded because they fell for that."

Wrex glared at me. Oddly though, it was less intimidating than when Shepard did it. "Bourne, if you were smart, you'd shut up."

I laughed. "Wrex, I've killed so many Krogan by this point, there's nothing you can do that would scare me."

He glared at me a moment more, than laughed himself. "You know something Bourne, you wouldn't make too bad a Krogan."

I decided not to comment on that.

My Omni-Tool beeped, and Pressley's voice came over. "Lt. Bourne, we have an incoming transmition from the council."

"_Why do people always have to call me Lt?" _I muttered. "Forward to the Com room, and tell Shepard to meet me there." I sighed and pushed my chair away. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to go deal with the most moronic trio I know."

Garrus turned to me. "Ok, answer me honestly. How did you do all that?"

I tapped a finger to my temple. "Perfect memory. I managed to keep track of the cards, and figure things out from there."

He- well, I'm guessing it was a frown, but I'll be damned if reading Alien expressions was ever easy- and seemed to be measuring me up. "That seems like an unusual talent to program into a Mercenary."

I shrugged, then fought to keep a calm face as what he said really hit me. "Maybe, but it comes in handy sometimes." I turned and went upstairs to the com room, but I didn't contact the council yet. I leaned against the wall, waiting for Shepard. But there was another Shepard I needed to talk to.

_)Iron, god, I can't believe I'm asking this, but are you thinking what I am?(_

_(I never had perfect memory before, and it's a fair bet that you didn't either. Which means it was artificially added another way.)_

_)Damnit, that's exactly what I was thinking.(_

_(Unfortunately, for all th__at I told you about our fusing, I have no idea how it occurred. And I'm not even lying this time.)_

_)Uh-huh. Sure.(_

_(I don't like mysteries; I want to figure out how the hell this happened as much as you do. So if I have to play nice with you for a few minutes, I will.)_

_)Fine. So we think it has something to do with the reapers?(_

_(We can't be sure that they actually warp reality, all we have to go by with that is an insane scientist.)_

_)Even so, they built the Mass Relays, Citadel, not to mention creating that Collector Base in a place that should have been impossible. Is it really such a stretch that they might be able to create something able to bridge multiple universes?(_

_(I suppose not. But without further evidence-)_

Iron was cut off by the sudden manifestation of the Council's holograms.

"Lt. Bourne." the turian stated neutrally. Or tried to anyway; it didn't take a genius to tell he hated me. And the feeling was mutual.

The Asari crossed her arms. "Bourne, I hope you don't plan to cut us off this time. This information is important."

I met their gazes equally. "Would you rather I was polite, or effective? If you have to deal with a little rudeness, heck, it's probably even good for you."

"Bourne, if I could do so at this very moment, you would no longer be a Spectre." The Turian said scornfully.

That actually made me pause. Without those privileges, it would be much more difficult. "Ahh, but you can't do that." I said with a mocking grin. "If you did, after all the publicity surrounding this whole affair, just think on how it would reflect on you. You wouldn't last a week before some extremist would pop up and make sure you regretted the choice."

"Is that a threat Bourne?"

I smiled. "Only if it has to be." I crossed my arms. "What have you got?"

"This information is for Shepard, not for you."

No sooner had he spoken than Shepard came in, breathing slightly more than usual.

"You got here fast." I commented.

"I know better than to leave you alone with these three." She responded. "Have you confirmed the information we sent you?"

"Not quite, but it may be true." The Salarian replied. "We received an urgent message from one of our infiltration regiments in the traverse."

"You mean spys?" I asked wryly.

"Spectres tend to attract attention Lt." I growled under my breath about that. "But they are only a single arm of the council. Special task groups are often better options."

The Salarian interrupted. "We currently have several infiltration regiments scouting the border regions of Citadel Space. This particular group was gathering information on Saren."

"What did they find?" Shepard asked.

"The message they sent was little more than static. The team may be in a position where they can no longer set up interstellar communications."

"Then how do we know that it was important?"

"It was sent on a channel reserved for mission critical communications. Whatever they were trying to tell us, it was important. Considering what you managed to get from your interrogation, we believe that Saren may in fact be on Virmire, where the signal originated as well. And we need to know what happened to our team."

I nodded. "If we have time, we'll look into it. But stopping Saren is our main priority. A few spies aren't as important."

The Turian almost smiled. "At least you have the sense to realize that Bourne. The fact that you risked yourself saving a single colony made me think you did not." I resisted the urge to flare my Biotics, though I couldn't stop my eyes from flashing. "You are correct. Your main mission as a Spectre is to hunt down Saren."

I smiled. "I don't 'hunt' anyone." I flicked a boot knife into my hand. " Hunting implies the possibility of failure."

_(So you've resorted to ripping off Chuck Norris jokes.)_

The Asari stepped in before the Turian could make another crack. "We will advise you if we find anything else. Good luck to both of you." The holograms winked out of existence.

I stared at them a moment. "Well what do you know. They cut us off this time." I pushed away from the wall. "Didn't think they had the nerve."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "So what have you been up to?"

"Playing poker with a few of the others."

"Think they'd mind a few more players?"

"You finish painting each other's nails or whatever it was you were doing?"

"Hah hah. We were watching a vid. I guess you could call it a chick flick."

"Fleet and Flotilla?"

"I guess Tali was hoping for dating advice with Garrus. She asked Ashley and I for advice."

"Yeah, us guys are a real pain. You don't have to deal with that though, do you?"

She groaned.

"So what do you think about this?"

"You're the one with all the knowledge, not me."

I hesitated. If I said we should head for Noveria, we'd only be putting off the inevitable. And give the info we had here vs rumors on Noveria, it would be too suspicious.

"I'll program the course in for Virmire." There. It was said, and Kaiden's fate was sealed.

She nodded, and headed down to play cards with the others. But I stayed where I was.

I knew just what I'd done, but I didn't feel the full consequences yet. I almost felt no guilt at the coming death. I knew it would come later, but I was grateful for the temporary reprieve. I needed to be able to function.

I sighed, and headed back down to the mess hall, where almost everyone was playing. The only one missing today, was the one who'd be missing tomorrow.

_It wouldn't take much. A single warning could save him. _But I was mute to speak of it. _It has to happen._

I looked at the women I loved, her hair let loose from its bun for once. _It's him or her, and I won't lose Ashley._

_(Not yet, but you will.)_

_) I agree. I only have a short time left with her. But I'll be damned it I'm going to waste what time I have(_

I sat down, and Joker glanced at me. "You new guys better watch yourselves. The Lt. is a card shark."

I smiled darkly.

"I mean, Bourne is a card shark."

"Good save Joker."

I was going to leave someone to die tomorrow, and kill a lot of people on the way.

_Shit, I never got Wrex his armor._

I glanced the moving cards, already planning. _But I can keep track of that many cards, I think I can remember how to talk him down._

_(Or you could let Ashley shoot him. It would be a great present for her.)_

I glanced at the Krogan. _ )I think I'll stick with flowers and Chocolate.(_

It was almost surreal. I was going to kill someone, and possible kill a friend, and yet I was calmly playing cards.

_)That's your doing, isn't it?(_

_(Only enough to keep you able to fight. Make no mistake, I still want you dead. But I want to know why I'm here first.)_

I shrugged and picked up my cards, discarding a pair.

_Let tomorrow wait until tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy the present._

I won the hand and raked in my chips. _Yep, I can definitely enjoy that._

* * *

><p><strong>Next Chapter: Virmire<strong>

**Finally we get to the good part. But it it'll probably have to wait until next weekend.**

**See you then.**

**Keelah Selai **


	47. Virmire

**I don't own Mass Effect, or there'd be the option to nutshot Udina. Hmm, I may have just given myself an idea. *Spoiler Alert*?**

* * *

><p>The beeping of my Omni-tool woke me up. My eyes snapped open, my Biotics flaring before I remembered where I was.<p>

_(Today's the day!) _Iron sounded almost gleeful; I made a mental note to never do anything to make him sound like that ever again. It was just plain creepy.

Then it hit me exactly what he meant, and I grimaced. That was the most emotion I could let myself feel. The mission had to come first.

_And yet… There must be some way I could save him._

_(Are you crazy? I mean, I know you have another person in your head, me, but still…)_

I shook my head. _)It's called denial. Not all of us can be evil scheming bastards like you.(_

_(Suit yourself. But for the record, if you try to get me to comfort you or something after we're done,)_

_)In your dreams.(_

_(Huh, more like nightmares.)_

I flashed a singularity into being, maintaining it while I got into my fatigues. It kept him at bay, since he couldn't do anything with them.

I looked at myself in the mirror, memorizing my new face. There were no bags under the eyes, no sign at all that I was about to be the cause of Kaiden's death.

I couldn't decide if that was bad or good.

The door slid open behind me, making me glad I'd already changed. I turned to see Ashley standing there. _Ok, maybe if I hadn't had my shirt on, that wouldn't have been so bad._

She smiled at me. "Skipper said you aren't allowed to sleep in today."

I chuckled, and canceled the singularity before she could notice. "Be out in a second."

I let the smile fade as soon as she walked out the door. _If I make a single wrong choice, _

_(You'll be a war widow.)_

I grit my teeth. _)I can't believe I'm saying this, but let's make a deal.(_

_(Oh, this should be good.)_ he mentally crossed his arms, smiling wryly, just waiting to hear what I had to say.

_)If Saren and/or the reapers do have something to do with us, Virmire is the best place to try unearthing some answers.(_

_(Is it still unearthing if we aren't on earth?)_

_)I'm asking for a truce.(_

I had the feeling if he'd had a jaw, it would have hit the floor.

_(Wait, did I hear that right?)_

_)Simply put, you want answers, and so do I. I want Ashley to live, and I think you'd rather see that as well.(_

_(What's your point?)_

_)If I die, you don't get squat, and you're left with a giant riddle. But if we can put that aside for this mission, we both benefit.(_

He mulled it over. _(Am I the only one thinking that this might be the most insane idea ever?)_

_)Is that a yes?(_

_(Unfortunately.)_

I shrugged, and went to join the others. They weren't talking much, probably thinking about the chance of finally stopping Saren. I wasn't going to tell them they wouldn't be so lucky.

And it provided a good cover for my own silence. Ashley smiled as I sat down next to her, but then she turned back to her food.

I did the same, grateful that military rations had improved in a century.

_(Don't look now, but there's a dead man walking that just came over.)_

I actually listened to Iron and avoided looking at him. It would only make it harder to do what I had to do.

_No, what you choose to do._

_(Seriously, what is with you?)_

I shook my head, clearing it.

"You ok Bourne?" Of course I had to attract the attention of the guy I was going to kill.

"I'm fine" I lied.

Shepard chuckled. "And you might actually be able to stay that way. You'll be in charge of the ship while Garrus, Wrex and I drop in the mako."

I forced myself not to throw myself at her feet and kiss them.

_(Good call. That would be really awkward. Plus, at least one of the ladies would get jealous and make you regret it.)_

_)Yeah, I think the only women one this ship that hasn't hit me is Liara.(_

_(Tali never hit you.)_

_)She stabbed me in the arm. Because of you.(_

_(It was nothing personal.)_

_)Uh huh. Sure(_

I grimaced and turned to Shepard. "Good call. Shouldn't be anything too tough down there, but this way you'll have plenty of firepower, and some other skills to back it up if it's needed."

Joker's voice came over the intercom. "ETA to Virmire twenty minutes."

"Roger that. Let's down to the Mako."

I fought back another sigh of relief at the fact that I wouldn't have to use that thing, and headed to get my gear from my cabin. I'd been too tired to store it after stopping the mad scientist, and it wasn't like anybody was going to steal from me. _Nobody that isn't suicidal anyway._

* * *

><p>I walked up behind Joker, where the team that hadn't gone with Shepard was waiting, also suited up.<p>

"Joker, what's our status?" for once I had been deliberately putting my feet down harder to give him warning. I didn't want to shock him now and crash the ship.

"I'm reading a signal, probably the Salarian infiltration team."

"Lots of gun towers too." Kaiden said from the co-pilot's seat. "Big ones. It's a good thing the Normandy has stealth systems."

I nodded, and activated my com. "Shepard, you in position?"

"Drop the Mako and we'll take them out."

Joker nodded, his hands flying across the control panel. We moved closer to the planet, and I was amazed at how big the thing actually was. It occurred to me that I was technically an astronaut now; I'd never actually been on the bridge when we approached a planet, only that first time to the citadel; then I'd been too shocked for it to really register.

_(Ok, enough of the damn philosophy.)_

_)Hey Bronze? Go to hell.(_

_(Again, being stuck here pretty much is my idea of hell.)_

"Ok, dropping in three, two, one-"

I could faintly hear Wrex groaning as the accursed thing dropped.

_)Man, that thing's so evil, you could have invented it.(_

_(Um, thanks?)_

"Nice work Joker." Shepard's voice came over the intercom. "Stay out of range until we take those towers down."

"And don't let the ship get blown up." Garrus chuckled.

Joker rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. I'll see you at the camp once those towers are offline."

"See you then."

* * *

><p>Of course Shepard being Shepard, it barely took ten minutes before the AA guns were down. I heard lots of machine gun fire over the com, and an occasional order from Shepard to Garrus and Wrex.<p>

Joker began his run, and I nodded to Ashley, and unfortunately, Kaiden. "You two. You're with me when we land."

I turned to Tali and Liara before they could protest. "You two don't have the experience for this sort of thing. You're staying on the ship."

Tali put her hands on her hips. "I'm not a child Bourne! I'm 24, which is an adult by your standards, and as soon as I find a suitable gift, by Quarian standards."

I blinked, surprised at her reaction. "Yeah, well, you aren't in charge. Until we know exactly what we're dealing with, you two aren't going into combat. I'm not letting you get killed on my watch." I grinned. "Shepard and Garrus would kick my ass if anything happened to you two."

"They can at least give us some back up so the Salarians don't shoot us on sight." Kaiden pointed out.

I thought for a sec, then nodded. "Ok, that's a good point. But let's hope it doesn't come to that."

Ashley laughed. "When do we ever get that lucky?"

I forced myself not to laugh at her word choice.

Joker opened his mouth to say something, then remembered that I was there and thought better of it. "Looks like the Salarians are waiting. You should probably head out there."

I nodded and waved the group into the airlock. I felt only a slight thud as the Normandy landed; it's Mass Effect core didn't quite make it as light as a feather, but it was close enough.

Ashley reached for her assault rifle, and I grabbed her arm to stop her. "Going in with guns blazing might not be the best idea. This time."

She grimaced "Easy for you to say. You can always fall back on your Biotics."

"You worry too much."

Almost on cue, the doors opened, revealing a squad of Salarians with their guns aimed at us. "You were saying Jason?"

_You have got to be kidding me. Could be worse though._

_(How?)_

_)You could have a twin.(_

I had no idea how this should play out, so I fell back on my instincts.

I motioned for the others to stay put, and calmly walked forward. Or looked like I was anyway; I slid several collapsed knives into each hand and held my Biotics ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice.

"That's close enough." The one in charge said. He was an odd shade of green; I hadn't seen that on a Salarian before.

I crossed my arms. "Relax."

"I'll 'relax' when I know who you are, and who you're working for."

I forced myself not to groan, and swallowed my pride. "Lt. Jason Bourne, Alliance military."

Iron snickered, and I ignored him. He was showing some pretty considerable restraint to not be rolling around laughing on the metaphorical floor.

"What about you? You the guy in charge?"

"Captain Kirrahe, third regiment STG. You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hot zone. Every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."

I hit my Radio. "Shepard, it's Bourne. I think we got their attention; the Normandy won't be taking off any time soon."

"What do you mean?"

I turned back to Kirrahe. "I'll explain when you get here." I cut the transition a split second before I realized how bad of an idea that was.

_(Man, she is going to kick your ass.)_

_)I know.(_

I sighed. _This is going to be a very long day._

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard parked the Mako, then led the way out. Bourne waved her over.

She glanced at the Salarian standing next to Bourne. "Are you the one in charge? What's the situation?"

"You've had worse, but these definitely aren't the best odds either."

"Bourne, I was talking to him, not to you."

"Good to see you too."

The Salarian ignored their banter. "You picked a poor place to set down. You won't be able to get out of here without every AA gun within ten miles taking you down."

Ashley groaned next to Bourne. "Perfect. Now what?"

"We wait for the Council to send us the reinforcements we requested."

Bourne laughed harshly. "Sorry, we are the reinforcements."

He looked between them. "You're all they sent? I requested a fleet!"

"We couldn't understand the transmission." Shepard replied. "We were sent into investigate."

"What you see is what you get." Bourne added with a smirk. Shepard glared at him, but he was probably the only person that it didn't work on. Normally her purple eye implants made people nervous, but it didn't bother him. _Then again, purple eyes are still a step below glowing blue in terms of weird._

"That is a repetition of our task. I lost half my men 'investigating' this place."

"So what have you found?" Kaiden asked. Shepard noticed that Bourne tensed slightly when he spoke, and he didn't even seem to notice it. Come to think of it, why is it he interacted with almost everyone but Kaiden?

He never asked him to come on missions; the only missions he'd been on were ones that Bourne hadn't gone on.

"Saren's boss of operations. He set up a facility here, but it's crawling with Geth and well-fortified."

"I get the feeling I'll regret asking this, but what's he researching?"

"He's using the facility to breed an army of Krogan."

Shepard looked at him in shock for a moment. Wrex lumbered over, his better than human ears clearly having picked up on the conversation. "How is that possible?"

Bourne snorted. "Isn't it obvious? That barefaced bastard managed to find a cure for the Genophage. Or the Geth found it for him or something."

"That is what we have discovered." The captain confirmed.

Ashley shook her head. "Bad enough that he has the Geth on his side. But with an army of Krogan… Not good."

"Exactly my thoughts. We must destroy this facility, and its secrets."

Wrex's eyes widened slightly in surprise, which quickly turned to anger. "Destroy the cure that can save my people from dying? I don't think so."

"If that cure leaves this planet, Saren will become unstoppable. We can't make the same mistake again."

Wrex slowly stepped towards him, towering over the salarian. "We are not a mistake."

Bourne flared his Biotics, ready to step in if he needed to.

"I won't abandon my people. Not for you, not for anyone." He marched away, fuming.

Bourne threw his arms in the air, Biotics fading. "Lovely. As if I didn't have enough to deal with already. Seriously, does god get some sort of sick pleasure from screwing me over constantly?"

"Bourne, stop whining."

"Hey Shepard, shut up."

"I still outrank you you know."

"Spectres. Cancels out."

"I know how much you love being called Lt, so how about I demote you to Private Bourne instead?"

Bourne shut up, but he still glared at her.

"That's better."

The salarian cleared his throat, interrupting them. "Is that Krogan going to be a problem?"

Shepard shook her head. "I'll talk to him."

"Maybe I should back you up on that one Shepard."

"I'd appreciate that Lt." The captain said

Bourne swore under his breath.

"My men and I need to rethink our plan of attack. Can you give us some time?"

"No problem. I'll be back in a bit."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(You have to admit, the demoting was a good threat.)_

_)I thought I made her a paragon, but she doesn't act like one very often. Usually she uses me for a punching bag.(_

_(I actually may have a theory on that. You had just played through the last game with *Hero*, a total *Paragon*, Ughhgh, and you were going to play through with me-)_

_)The most evil bastard in existence.(_

_( Shut up and listen. Point is, with Raptor, you'd probably have played through more in the middle. With all those annoying morals you love so much, but aggressive when needed, more like you might have been in reality had you the chance.)_

That stopped me.

_(I assume that means that you agree?)_

_)Unfortunately.( _

"Come on Bourne, stop daydreaming."

" Are you ok Jason?"

I shook off Iron and nodded. "Just thinking."

"Things aren't looking too good." Kaiden commented.

"I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for Wrex. He looks like he's ready to blow a gasket." Ashley agreed.

"I'll go talk to him." Shepard and I said at the same time. _Huh, that's the first time in a while._

"Wouldn't hurt." Ashley shrugged. "Well, actually, it might. Be careful."

I smiled. "When aren't I careful?"

_(Would you like that in alphabetical order, or chronological?)_

"Be ready, just in case." Shepard said.

Warning lights immediately went off in my head. "Bad idea. Wrex might get the wrong idea, or you might kill him unnecessarily."

Ashley stared at me. "Maybe, but if it's all the same to you, I'm going to keep an eye on him."

"That I can agree with. Just don't do anything drastic."

"Right, because you're the king of self-restraint."

"I haven't flipped off the council yet. I'd say that's pretty impressive."

Shepard grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me over there. The sound of Wrex firing several shots into the ocean didn't deter her, though it made me flick a few knives out on reflex before I realized it. I hurriedly put them away.

_(Wimp.)_

_)So the truce doesn't cover insults?(_

_(No. You're lucky the truce covers me not trying to kill you.)_

Wrex heard us approaching of course. The fact that he didn't put the shotgun away was not reassuring.

_(In all seriousness, even I don't think killing him is a good idea.)_

_)That's because I only killed him once, just to see what happened.(_

_(And you call me sick and twisted.)_

_)Yep. Absolutely.(_

"This isn't right Shepard. If there's a cure for my people, we can't destroy it." He said as we approached.

I held my hands placatingly. "Ok, I have an idea. How about you put the gun away and then we can discuss this like civilized people."

Shepard nodded agreement. "He's right. We aren't the enemy here Wrex."

He stepped closer, though he at least lowered the giant shotgun, holding it in one hand. "Really? Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it." He shrugged. "From where I'm standing, it's getting hard to tell between friend and foe. Help me out here Shepard."

I forced myself not to draw any knives.

"Wrex, I understand. But stopping Saren is more important. We have to destroy this base."

"And for the record, we don't "Want" to destroy it, it's just that I don't want Saren to have an army of you guys" I said wryly.

"Don't make a joke out of this Bourne. I followed you two because I wanted to fight for something more than credits." He grabbed his shotgun with both hands. "If you can't give me a better reason than this to destroy the hopes of my people, I'm done with you." He pointed it at us the same instant that Shepard pulled her own Shotgun out.

I snarled and drew my Shoulder blade on reflex, dropping into a combat stance. "Wrex, I think we all know what'll happen if you don't put that gun away." My Biotics flared around me. "You aren't the first Krogan that's pointed a gun at me."

"I don't want to kill you Wrex, but I won't let you jeopardize the mission." Shepard agreed.

"So, all this time, and that's all I get from you? How can you not see what this means to the Krogan? I can't let this base be destroyed! I won't allow it!"

It took everything I had not to strike at that moment, but I forced aside the bloody rage stemming from Iron.

I sheathed my knife. "Wrex, when we first met, you said you wanted to join us because you wouldn't bow down to Saren. If you accept this cure from him, that's what you'll be forced to do."

"He's right Wrex. Saren doesn't care about your people; he just wants you as tools to be used and thrown away." she lowered her gun "Is that really what you want for your people?"

"Not to mention the fact that if you die, your brother will be chief in your place. He wouldn't be able to do half as much as you." It was a risk revealing that I knew all that, but niether of them seemed to notice.

"So how does this play out Wrex? Does it have to come to that?"

He stared at us for what seemed like an eternity. "No."

He slowly lowered his own gun. "We were tools for the council once. After we were done with the Rachni, they thanked us by neutering us all. I doubt Saren would be so generous."

He put his gun away, and Shepard did the same. "You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. Just one thing."

"You want Saren's head when we find him." I stated in an emotionless voice. It had only then hit me that I hadn't been bluffing about killing him. I could barely keep my knees from shaking.

_(Jeez, are you ok? You feel like you're about to pass out)_

_)When did you grow a heart? Or I guess I should say, whose heart did you cut out and steal when I wasn't looking?(_

He stayed uncomfortably silent for a moment. _(Something isn't right. First you were being all resistant about killing *Carth*, and now I just asked you if you were ok. Christ, I feel like I need to drown something to get back to normal.)_

_)That's a pleasant image.(_

_(I agree.)_

_)I was being sarcastic smartass.(_

_(Yes you were being one.)_

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the present. "Look, I know this is hard for you Wrex, but don't give up hope. If a guy like Saren can find a cure, it can be found again. Without the consequences-"

I was cut off as Wrex glared daggers at me. _Ok, I'm just going to shut up now so I don't die._

He grunted and lumbered off. "When you're ready to kill something, then you can find me."

I took a slow deep breath and tried to get my nerves back under control.

_Ok, one crisis down, now I just need to kill Kaiden and I'll be good to go._

_(Ok, something's definitely off.)_

_)What this time?(_

_(Did you just listen to yourself? You're as eager to kill him as I am. And now I'm almost hesitating, looking for another way.)_

_)… If I couldn't read your mind, I'd think you were lying.(_

_(I wish I was. It's dim, almost like another presence in my mind; not you this time either.)_

Even had it not been Iron speaking, the words froze me to the core. _It's bad enough to risk losing control to him… But someone else or something else… _

_)I say we include this in the truce.(_

_(We may just be over reacting. It might just be Sovereign trying to indoctrinate us.)_

_)If you're trying to reassure me, you're failing.(_

_(That just makes it all the more important that we get what we need and get out fast.)_

_)For once we agree.(_

I made my way to Shepard and the others. _Better the devil I know than the giant Squid I don't._

"I assume that means you've come up with a plan?" Shepard asked.

"Of sorts. We can convert our ship's drive system into a twenty kiloton ordinance. Crude, but effective."

I chuckled. "Just the way I like it."

"Drop that nuke from orbit, and Saren can kiss his Turian ass goodbye." Ashley said with a small grin.

I shook my head. "Unfortunately, I get the feeling it isn't that easy. Am I right?"

The Salarian nodded. "The facility is far too well fortified for that. We need to place the bomb at a precise location."

Shepard sighed. "Figures. Where?"

"The far side of the facility. Your ship can drop it off, but we'll need to infiltrate the base, neutralize the AA guns, and pacify the ground forces first."

"Do we even have the numbers to do that?" Kaiden said. "If we go in on foot, we'll be wiped out."

_Not all of Alenko, only you. _"I'm all for a straight up fight, but he has a point. I hope there's more to the plan than point and shoot. Fun as that is."

"I think we can work around that. I'll divide my men and hit the front of the facilities in teams. You and your team can sneak in the back while we keep them busy."

Shepard nodded. "It's a good idea, but your people are going to get slaughtered."

"We're tougher than we look commander. But it's true; I don't expect many of us to survive." He hesitated. "Which makes this even more difficult to ask. I need one of your people to accompany me to coordinate the teams."

"Good idea. We'll need someone that knows alliance communication protocols."

I frowned, seeing a problem, and a solution at once. "Then it can't be me. I wouldn't know the first thing about those; I work better in a team with you anyway."

_(Odd that you didn't think about that possibility before.)_

_)Warping reality I'll bet.(_

_(Or you were too busy whining over Alenko.)_

"I volunteer commander." _(Speaking of which…)_

"Not so fast LT. You'll have to arm the nuke. I'll go with the Salarians."

"With all due respect chief, it isn't your choice."

I smiled and said at the same time as Ashley "Why is it that whenever someone says "With all due respect they really mean "Kiss my ass"?"

Shepard glared at us. "Bourne, you aren't helping me decide."

"Ash, you go with the Salarians. Kaiden, we need you to arm the nuke."

Shepard glared at me even more. "You aren't even going to ask what I think?"

"Do you disagree?" I said, crossing my arms.

She grimaced. "No heroics Ash, understand?"

"Aye Aye chief."

"I'll have the ordinance loaded onto the Normandy and brief your crew on the detonation sequence." The captain interrupted. "Do either of you have any more questions?"

"I'm ready when you are." Shepard and I said as one.

"Excellent. Then if you'll excuse me, I must go prepare my men."

_Huh, Mordin was right about him being a cloaca. _

_(…. You're still going to save him, aren't you?)_

_)Quit complaining.(_

Ashley sighed "Well, this is it. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Especially you Jason."

I smiled. "Yeah, I love you too."

She blushed.

"He's right." Kaiden broke in, ignoring the breaks in the regs. _Though I guess he tried to do the same before Shepard found miss "Embrace Eternity." Goddammit, those are the last images I need in my head right before a mission._

_(Try thinking of Garrus and her instead.)_

_)You are fucking evil… Ok, that was a horrible choice of words.(_

"We'll be fine, you'll see." Kaiden said.

"Yeah, I just… good luck" Ashley didn't meet anyone's gaze.

"Something you want to say Chief?" Shepard asked, clearly picking up on. I noticed that she was glancing at me from the corner of her eye.

"I don't know. It's just weird. Going under someone else's command. I've gotten so used to working with you." She glanced at me. "All of you."

"Don't worry. We'll see you on the other side." Kaiden said.

_(Oh we'll see her alright. Can't say the same of you though.)_

"It doesn't matter where you are Ash. We're a team. I know you'll be watching my back, and I'll be watching yours." I smiled. "Well, maybe not watching your back exactly, but it's close enough."

Ashley's face reddened as she realized what I meant.

"Jason, I've never so strongly felt an urge to punch someone at the same time that I wanted to hug them."

I chuckled. But as I watched Kaiden walk onto the Normandy to prep, my mirth faded.

_I'm never going to see him alive again._

_(Well, there's always the chance that you'll screw up and lose Ashley instead.)_

_)If you say one more word, I will use my perfect memory to play "Friday" by Rebecca Black in a loop for six hours.(_

_(…And you call me a monster.)_

_)I can throw in some Beiber too.(_

_(OK! OK! I'll shut up!)_

_)That's what I thought.(_

I went into the tent and checked my gear while Kirahee gave his speech. My life might depend on it, and more importantly, Ashley might depend on it.

I watched Ashley go with a heavy heart. But I tightened my resolve. _I won't let anything happen to her._

Shepard put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on Bourne. It's time."

I saw Garrus and Wrex waiting for us. "You sure that this is the best team? Garrus doesn't trust me as far as he can Biotically throw me, and Wrex could flip out over this."

She shook her head. "We need combat skills more than Tech or Biotics."

"And you don't want to endanger Tali or Liara."

She looked away. "If something happened to her-"

"Shepard, nothing is going to happen to Liara."

_(Of course, Kaiden's going to die today, and she's going to die later, and you might die too,)_

_)It's Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday!(_

_(I'll shut up! I'll shut up!)_

I sighed and drew my rifle. "Let's go. We have a lot to do."

* * *

><p><strong>Which is going to have to wait until next time. <strong>

**Sorry, but I've been busy with other things. I won't bore you with details, but let's just say I had to get up at 4 in the morning yesterday, and was busy for the rest of the day.**

**I hate to keep you waiting, but I just can't find the time to finish this until next weekend. Believe me, I want to write, and I have most of it planned out, but finding the time to type it is too hard. **

**I may, however, update my neglected other series "Mass Effect VS:". Following a tip from "So You're in a self-insert" I'm going work on another story while I sort out this one.**

**BTW, if you want tips on how to write SIs, or really any fan fics for Mass Effect, I'd highly recommend it. Of course, the fact that one of the chapters was just of other people's suggestions, and mine got in there, helps, but nonetheless. If you want a guide, that's the best.**

**Ok, enough of the shameless plugs for my other stuff. **

**Until next time, Keelah Selai.**


	48. The Reaper

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, you'd be able to kill certain annoying people. *Cough* reporter* Cough.***

**And Believe me, I want to finish this thing. I keep planning things out for the sequels, but I have to finish this one first. When I find out who's been stealing my plot bunnies and keeping me from writing this thing, I'm going to *_Censored due to extremely graphic violence and a lengthy explanation of how to dismember someone_, _then find a good place to hide the body_.* **

**Seriously, I want Bourne to meet Miranda. They're going to loath each other, and that'll be funny as heck! Not to mention Jack, Samara, etc, etc, etc. Ok, time to kick this thing's ass! No way am I missing out on the chance to call Miranda _*Content removed both due to spoilers, and for such insults that they might cause this story to gain an M rating, which is really sort of redundant since the sequel is planned to be rated M*_**

**Ok, maybe I should just stop before I end up with a new crack fic series.**

* * *

><p><em>(Hey Bourne, here's a helpful tip: Stop getting hit!)<em>

I didn't have time to reply as I rolled to the side of the charging Krogan. Thankfully Shepard had my back and he took a bullet right between the eyes.

"How many of those guys are we going to have to kill?" Garrus complained as he sniped another one.

"Watch it Vakarian, that's me you're shooting at!" Wrex rumbled over the com, his Shotgun tearing a Geth in half. "Shoot the other Krogan!"

I wanted to scream with frustration. I could barely here myself think! Honestly, I'd have rather heard Iron!

_(Ahh, do you really mean that? See? We're bonding now.)_

_)I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth.(_

I sighted onto the nearest geth and threw a tightly packed group of knives right through its head.

"Jeato, hold up with Aegoha!" Kirrahe's voice came over the com.

_I can't believe I actually went to the trouble of saving his ass._

_(See? You're more like me every minute. And don't you mean that you saved his cloac-)_

_)_ _Kickin' in the front seat, Sittin' in the back seat, Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take!_

_(Ok! Ok! I'll shut up! Christ!)_

I smiled, glad I could at least shut him up. Then a Geth with a shotgun decided it was a good idea to shoot at me when I was already pissed off.

Here's a hint: it wasn't.

I grabbed its shotgun out of its hands, then used it as a club to knock the synthetic's head off. It went flying, sliding to a stop at Shepard's feet.

"Bourne, have I mentioned how glad I am that I'm not your enemy?" She asked with a small grin.

I looked around at the scattered remains of half a dozen geth. Several of them had knives stuck in their eyes. I flared my Biotics, retrieving the ones that hadn't been bent beyond use. "I don't blame you. You wouldn't like me if I was angry."

_(Are you going to turn green now?)_

_)Maybe. You make me pretty damn sick most of the time.(_

One Geth got back to its feet, only to be thrown into the nearest wall. "If I never see another one of those things, it'll be too soon."

"At least we're finally here." Garrus commented, switching his sniper for his assault rifle.

"And it sounds like Ash and the others are holding up alright" Shepard agreed.

The words still brought a twinge of guilt, but I buried it by focusing on my anger against the Geth. "Good. The sooner we plant that bomb and get out of here, the better." _In more ways than one._

_(In all seriousness, we need to plan.)_

_)Plan what?(_

_(Ok, let me put it this way. Are you just going to walk up to Saren and tell him you aren't from this universe?)_

_)Huh, point taken. Straight up confrontation isn't the best policy when you're dealing with being from an alternate dimension.(_

_(Not to mention the fact that it isn't set in stone that the Reapers are the reason for all this.)_

_)Can you think of a better explanation? Or a better explanation period?(_

_(No. If I could, I wouldn't be stopping my efforts to kill you.)_

_)That's reassuring.(_

We moved further into the compound, guns at the ready. My Avenger was ready to turn those Geth into Scrap metal.

"Console over here. Think you can hack it Vakarian?"

"Move aside Wrex. Let a professional handle this."

I chuckled. "Where? I don't see him. Is the professional hiding behind you?"

Garrus chose to ignore me. "Ok, I have access to base security. I should be able to cut off the alarms. I should be able to trigger alarms on the far side of the base, clear out the guards. Might be too much for Bourne's girlfriend to handle though."

_(Don't even say it.)_

_)I won't say a word.(_

"They have enough to deal with. We can handle any guards inside."

_)Can't say the same about her though.(_

_(Goddamn it.)_

"Works for me. I'm in the mood to kill something anyway." Wrex rumbled.

I took a few steps back. _Is it wrong of me to say I'm starting to wonder if letting him live was a good idea?_

_(Shut up and get going. The fact that you're asking that worries me, and the fact that I'm worried about you worries me more.)_

_)So it's like worryception?(_

_(Sigh. Sure. Whatever.)_

The door opened, and I rushed in, Barrier up. The Geth were surprised at my sudden entrance, and I took two of them down before they could even draw their guns.

The others were a bit smarter, and opened fire. I fell back before my barrier could fall, and they ended up chasing me.

As I run past a crate, the synthetics on my heels, Shepard and the others opened fire, tearing through them.

"Nice work Bourne. You lead them right into our little ambush." Shepard said, her shotgun cooling.

"Umm, yeah, that was totally intentional."

_(If I had a face, I'd face palm.)_

_)Wouldn't you need a hand too?(_

_(If I had hands, I think I'd strangle myself.)_

_)Just when I thought you couldn't get any more crazy.(_

A salarian chose that minute to rush at me, weaponless. I flicked a knife through his eye.

He fell, twitching.

_(No way am I letting that happen to me. Get going.)_

I followed the others through the door, still annoyed at Iron.

"Hello? Is someone out there?" I turned to the voice, seeing a lone Salarian in a cell on the level below.

_( Look at the others. It's like they were lobotomized or something.)_

_)Jesus, that's just… Wrong.(_

_(Yeah, I think that's a little far, even for me. Killing them is one thing, but that's just plain overkill.)_

"Be back in a sec Shepard."

"Don't you even-"

I jumped over the rail, cushioning my fall with my Biotics.

"I hate it when he does that" I heard her sigh, and she headed to join me.

The Prisoner seemed surprised to see me, but more because I had jumped a good ten feet than the fact that I was there.

"Well, you aren't a Geth. And you aren't wearing a lab coat. I guess I'm glad to see you."

Shepard rushed in. "Bourne, I swear to god I'm going to kick your ass the next time you do that."

"Noted."

Shepard turned to the prisoner. "And you would be?"

"Lieutenant Ganto imness of the Third Infiltration regiment, captured during recon. I assume the fleet was called in to destroy the base?"

I grimaced. "Not exactly. Transmission wasn't clear, so we're all they sent."

"I see. You must be the infiltration team. I know the captain. He will want this facility destroyed. My team was altered, indoctrinated."

"Indoctrinated?" Garrus questioned.

"The Captain knew about the breeding grounds" I took a few steps away from Wrex as he said that. "But the indoctrination is far more horrifying. I watched good people reduced to mindless husks. There wasn't anything left. Others died during the experiment. I envy them."

"What were they doing?" Wrex asked.

"Studying the indoctrination. Symptoms, Progress."

"No, I meant what is indoctrination?"

I glanced at Shepard. "Forgot to mention that?"

"You interrupted the briefing, remember Bourne?" Garrus said sarcastically.

_(Oh, right, sorry about that.)_

I clenched a fist. 

"Knock it off you two." Shepard said, glaring at both of us. She turned back to Wrex. "From what Shiala told me on Feros, it's some sort of energy field that emanates from Sovereign, his flag ship."

The Salarian nodded. "Saren uses it to control his people, but I don't think he fully understands it."

"It's why Liara's mother is helping Saren." I put in, forcing my fist to unclench. It wasn't just Iron that made me want to punch him.

_(You could always give him that scar prematurely.)_

_)Friday.(_

_(That's not going to work anymore.)_

_)Ok, what other horrible songs do I know? I must have heard at least one Justin Bei-(_

_(I'll be quiet now.)_

"I don't know much else, but I saw what it did the others. I can't end up like that. Please- Let me out!"

Shepard nodded. "Bourne can open your cell, but we have a mission. You'll have to go on your own."

I coughed nervously. "Maybe you should just have Garrus open it."

"It's no thicker than those lockers you're so proud of blasting open."

"Blasting open being the key phrase. I'd rather not kill him by accident."

The Salarian gulped nervously.

Garrus sighed and brought up his Omni-tool.

The door slid open. "So I'm to run and hope to outrun the blast? Still, better chance than before. Thank you, and good luck. You're going to need it."

_Isn't that the truth._

_(Yes it is.)_

I turned my attention to the other cell, full of the zombies.

"Open that one too Garrus."

"You sure Bourne?"

"They might as well get some chance of doing it, slim as it is."

He opened that one too, but the Prisoners didn't even seem to notice.

_(It would almost be kinder to kill them.)_

_)You just like killing people.(_

_(Duh.)_

_)Honestly, out of the infinite possible version of you, what cruel evil being chose you to fuse me with?(_

_(Good question. We'll have to ask Saren when we find him.)_

_)I swear to god if he is responsible, I'm going to blow his head off.(_

_(You can try. Haven't had much luck with the other parts of reality though, so I doubt you can do it this time.)_

_)Hey, I can hope.(_

_(You're just lying to yourself.)_

"Bourne, are you coming or not?"

I shook my head and ran after them.

"And if you actually answer what I just said-"

"You're only bringing attention to it."

She got out her shotgun. "Bourne-"

I sighed. "You are no fun, has anybody ever told you that?"

"Not anybody that lived to tell of it."

"Stop flirting and come on!" Wrex shouted at us.

I glanced at Shepard. "He's right. Let's move."

"I'll be right behind you."

"Bow-chicka-bow-wow." I smirked, quickly running the other way.

_(You are just asking for trouble. And seriously? Why would you rather quote Tucker than Caboose?)_

_)If I quoted him, I'd sound like a moron.(_

_(Exactly.)_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

_It isn't a good idea to shoot Bourne. It isn't a good idea to shoot Bourne._Shepard had to keep telling herself that.

She couldn't hold back a sigh of relief as the elevator finally opened.

"I'll go in first. Watch my six."

"Do I look like Liara to you Shepard?"

"Never mind, Bourne can go in first."

He shrugged. "Eh, it was worth it." He drew his shotgun and rushed in.

Shepard and the others moved out behind him. She drew her sniper rifle, quickly dispatching most of the Husks with the help of Garrus and Wrex.

The Krogan Scientist was a step behind, but he still had the sense to be armed.

"Intruders! Call the grua-rrrghgacahc." Bourne's knives hit him right in the throat.

"Sorry, call the what?"

A husk suddenly charged him, clinging onto his back. "Get this damn thing off of me!" He shouted, trying to pry it loose.

Shepard raised her rifle and shot it a few times in the head.

It fell to the ground. Bourne turned and warped it, then shot it several times.

"Um, Bourne, I think it's dead."

"Shut up Garrus." He said, regaining his composure. He put away his shotgun, switching it for his side arm. "We aren't done here yet. Not by a long shot. We should keep moving." He pumped a few rounds into the Krogan.

Shepard nodded. "Wrex, you take the lead."

Bourne's face twisted.

_Hah! Can't make any jokes this time._

Wrex charged through the door, and Shepard heard a few blasts from his shotgun.

"Remind me to never get on his bad side." Garrus muttered as he followed him. Shepard and Bourne sprinted after them.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much Garrus. He's still less intimidating than Shepard."

"Then maybe you should stop talking Bourne."

Wrex was waiting for them, a pair of destroyed Geth at his feet. _Not to mention the rest of the platform. _

Bourne whistled softly. "Wow, those thing won't be bothering us again."

The Krogan tightened his grip on his Shotgun. "I think I hear something else in there."

Shepard and Garrus flanked him, guns at the ready. Shepard motioned to the activation panel. Garrus moved towards it, but a glowing blue knife reached the door first.

The door slid open, revealing a single Asari.

Wrex aimed his gun.

"Don't shoot! Please! I just want to get out of here before it's too late!"

Bourne slid past him. "Relax Wrex."

Shepard marveled at his Arrogance. He didn't even have his gun out. But then again, he didn't need a weapon to be lethal.

Shepard lowered her own gun; the Asari clearly wasn't a threat. If she was, she'd have a knife in her chest.

"We aren't going to hurt you. Who are you?"

Bourne leaned against a wall, and drew his shoulder knife, seeming to examine it. Shepard could see that he was really just providing the Asari with a "bad cop." His mind was completely in another place.

"Rana Thanoptis, Neurospecialist. But this job isnt' worth dying over. Or worse. The indocronation doesn't only affect prisoners; Sooner or later, Saren will want to dissect my brains too!"

"What a great boss." Bourne said dryly. "I can see why you work for him."

"What happened to this base being a breeding facility?" Wrex rumbled.

"This level is to study Sovereign's effects on Organic minds. At least I think that's what it was for. Saren kept us in the dark as much as possible."

Bourne chuckled, and Shepard felt a chill go down her spine. That wasn't his chuckle.

"And if I thought you were hiding something, what would you say? It seems a little convenient that you don't know what you were doing for Saren. "

Garrus turned to him, gun ready to swing up in a moment. _That isn't his voice either, it's Iron's._

"I didn't have the option of negotiating! This position is a little more permanent than I hoped for. But I can help you. This elevator behind me goes right to Saren's private lab. I can get you in!"

Bourne motioned to the door. He seemed to be clutching a ball of energy in his fist.

She swiped a key card, and entered a password. She turned back hopefully. "See? Full access. All of Saren's private files. Are we good? Can I go?"

Bourne coughed, then said in his normal voice "Start running. We're going to blow this place sky high, and you don't want to be here when it goes off."

Her eyes widened. "What? But I'll never…" She screamed and ran past them.

Bourne chuckled. "Ok, now I feel a little better."

Garrus pointed his pistol right at his head.

He sighed. "Are you still stuck on this?"

"Get down on the ground. Iron."

"Relax. I was just using that voice to scare her. If I'd thought it through, I would have told you that."

"Prove it's you."

Bourne shook his head and looked at Shepard. "Have you and Liara embraced eternity lately?"

"It's him." The three said simultaneously.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

That had been way too close.

_)Nice try.(_

_(You're lucky we're working together for now.)_

_)You're lucky I don't feel like playing that song anymore. I'm getting a headache from it too.(_

_(… You know, it's sort of sad that your best threat is to play a bad song.)_

_)I got something even better for your evil mind. I can play the opening to "up."(_

_(No! I hate those sappy family movies!)_

_)Keep your mind to yourself then.(_

_(Argh, fine.)_

Iron's control had taken me by surprise, but I had been expecting this for a while, and flashed a singularity into being, taking back control.

_At least Garrus and the others bought my "Using his voice to scare her" excuse. Though that would actually be pretty damn effective against some people._

I shook my head, making sure I was back in control. I was.

Shepard led the way through the now open door, with Garrus and Wrex keeping an eye on me from the back.

"Huh, you can tell Saren built this place. Who else would be evil enough to install this many elevators?" I muttered as we got into one.

"Quit whining Bourne."

Considering that Garrus was watching me like a hawk, the ride wasn't all the pleasant. But Iron seemed to have been tired out by his not all successful attempt at control. But the fact that he could do so at all was… troubling to say the least. Bad enough to have him as a voice in my head; if I had to fight to keep control of my body…

"Commander, is that a Beacon? Like the one on Eden Prime?"

Garrus' voice caught my attention.

"Looks like it. Come on Bourne."

I hesitated; the Cipher had weakened me, so this might do the same. But Iron was already stronger than he'd been before, so it could be disastrous.

_But better to risk that then risk discovery._

_(You're bound to be discovered soon enough anyway. Remember?)_

I grit my teeth and walked down next to Shepard. "So how do we do this? On the count of three, or do we take turns, or-"

The beacon suddenly glowed brighter, and enveloped us in energy.

_Man, this is going to suck._

My mind flashed with images yet again. It was almost annoying this time.

It seemed to last an eternity, though it was probably less than a minute this time. I didn't have to resist like I had with Shiala. I still fell to my knees when it was over, as did Shepard.

_(Speaking of which, how are you going to handle Liara?)_

_)Ok, since you're talking to me this time, I assume that you weren't dumb enough to use the same trick twice?(_

_(I'm this close to finding answers. If I killed you now, I would have to wait months more.)_

_)So the truce is still in effect?(_

_(For now.)_

Shepard got to her feet slowly. She held out a hand to help me up.

"So was it good for you too Shepard?"

She let go and I fell back on my ass.

"Ok, I probably deserved that."

"Yes you did. Come on. We still have a job to do."

"Is the vision any clearer?" Garrus asked.

"Not yet; We may need Liara to sort it out again."

I grimaced and headed upstairs.

I almost wish I hadn't.

As we approached, a red hologram sprung into being. My neck hair stood on end, and I got goosebumps.

"That isn't good." Garrus echoed my thoughts.

**"You are not Saren."** The voice seemed made of a thousand.

I thought I had felt the incarnation of evil, but Iron was nothing to this presence. Even Iron was in silent awe before it.

"What the hell is this? Some sort of VI interface?" Wrex rumbled, drawing his shotgun almost like a security blanket.

**"Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance. You are incapable of understanding."**

"I don't think this is a VI. " Garrus muttered.

I looked at Shepard, and saw my face echoed in hers. Pure shock, horror, surprise.

**"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it."**

I knew what this being was, but it had been pushed to the back of my mind by my personal troubles. Everything I knew was brought to the forefront of my mind. This thing was capable of atrocities even Iron would be sickened by.

**"I am beyond your comprehension."**

I'd been ready to make some joke about the thing looking like Sea-food, but the sheer menace of it drove that from my mind.

**"I am Sovereign!"**

_(Dude, we are fucked.)_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, does this count as a cliff hanger? It's not so much that I wanted to do that to you again, so much as I felt this was a good spot to end it. And the chapters have been longer than I like lately.<strong>

**But since I'm not stopping here, just posting it, the next chapter should be up soon. Emphasis on "Should."**

**Until then, Keelah Se'lai**


	49. Saren

**Ok, I have another one. I don't own Mass Effect, which is why it's called that, which is why this is about the only SI I've seen that doesn't have "Mass" or "Effect" in the title. **

**But I like it that way. Makes it a little more unique. That and Iron, one of the few Tali/Garrus pairings, Virmire in the middle instead of near the end, the fact Bourne came with the powers, and of course, "Raptor" As Shepard's name. **

**Ok, I'll just shut up and get back to writing.**

* * *

><p>We were all frozen in the midst of the bombshell revelation. I had seen it coming, but I hadn't expected anything this menacing from a talking squid.<p>

Shepard found her voice again. "Sovereign isn't just some Reaper Ship Saren found. It's an actual Reaper!"

"**Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end, what they choose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."**

"The Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago. You couldn't have been there. It's impossible!" Garrus exclaimed.

_(Well, actually, they were turned into the collectors. And you're going to help wipe them out.)_

For the first time I could remember, I was glad to hear Iron's voice. _)So, Answers. How do we do this?(_

_(Why are you asking me?)_

**"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation. You are accidents. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die.  
>"We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extintiction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."<strong>

Shepard's face tightened in determination. "There is an entire galaxy of races ready to face you."

**"Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken."**

"What, like a bicycle?" I asked weakly.

_How can we stop these things? How can we stop any of these things? What was I thinking? These things can't be beat! These things-_

My own hand suddenly reared up and slapped me across the face.

_(Snap out of it! I can deal with you being an immature joking smartass, but I'm not going to put up with whining.)_

_)You of all people should understand.(_

_(These things aren't invincible. Remember that.)_

"Bourne?"

"I was making sure I was awake." I answered, flaring a pair of singularities into being. Not to keep away Iron this time, but to keep my mind focused, and my knees from shaking. "What cycle are you talking about?" I smirked. "You overgrown squid."

_(Huh, guess I'm a better pep talker than I thought. I'm going to go through your memories and watch Dexter for a bit to get back to normal.)_

**"The Pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilazations rise, evolve, advance. And at the Apex of their glory, they are extinguished.  
>"The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the Mass Relays. They merely found them. They are the legacy of my kind."<strong>

Shepard raised an eyebrow. Her mind was racing, trying to understand. "Why would you create the Relays, then just leave them for us to find?"

**"Your civilization is based on the technology of the Mass Relays. Our technology. By using them, your society develops among the paths we desire.  
>"We impose order on the chaos of Organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."<strong>

I forced myself to smile. "I don't do requests."

"**You assume you have a choice. You may be unique by the standards of Organics, but you are still Organic. And so, you will end."**

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean, Unique?'

He, or it, seemed to study me. **"You know what even we do not. Yet the most basic knowledge you seek is right in front of you. You have forgotten it, but we have not."**

"We? There are more of you?" Shepard asked. Apparently what it had said to me hadn't yet hit her.

"**We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world."**

"Well, to quote one of the most famous 'organic' generals, then we will have out battles in the shade."

**"Fight or not, it will make no difference. You cannot escape your doom, regardless of what new name you have chosen."**

_New name?_

_(Ok, if that thing doesn't stop talking in riddles, I am going to rip it in two!)_

_)And you're back.(_

**"You have a beginning Bourne. But we do not. We have no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has collapsed, when you have been forgotten, we shall still endure. Surrender, and I will show you small mercy. You worked with us once, and I shall not forget that when it is time for you to die."**

My Biotics flared around me. "Don't even try to lie to me you overgrown plate of Sushi!" Fear had given way to anger. "You know something about my past, and you're going to tell me now!"

**"Interesting. You have forgotten. Or you simply deny it. In the end, it does not matter."**

"You may be a big machine, but you're still just a cold heartless machine."

Shepard stood beside me. "And machines can be broken!"

**"Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over."**

The hologram slowly faded.

"NO! Come back here you ugly squid! What the hell are you talking about! What do you mean I worked with you!"

The windows shattered, and a shockwave knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled.

"Bourne?" Shepard questioned.

I shook my head."I don't know."

Joker's voice came over the radio. "Uh, Shepard, we have trouble."

"Can't be anything worse than this." I muttered. "Let me guess, Sovereign is heading this way?"

"That's an understatement. The thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half. It's coming your way, and it's coming hard. You need to get out there- Fast!"

I laughed. "Joker, I don't think you could have worded that any worse."

"Damnit. Just get out of there!"

The com cut out.

"Bourne, you have about five second to explain what that thing meant." Garrus stated.

I growled. "We don't have five seconds. And I have no idea what it was talking about."

"Could this be related to that memory loss you told me about?" Shepard asked.

"Maybe. But we don't have time to sort it out." I turned to Garrus. "We can discuss this after this base is rubble. Until then, you'll have to trust me."

He looked at me, then nodded.

"Come on." I led the way into the elevator.

_(You know, with this thing, you might actually have time to explain all this.)_

_)Except for not knowing what to say(_

_(I'm in the dark too. I don't know what fused us, but I know things that don't add up. You were right about the Reapers, but that was the one thing I hardly doubted. Now we have more questions than Tali has Fans!)_

The door opened, and my Avenger was up and firing on instinct. _)Worry later. For now, I'm more concerned just with staying alive.(_

The Geth destroyer fell under our combined fire.

Ashley's voice came over the com. "The Geth are Turning! Shepard must be getting close."

I only dimly heard Kirrahe giving orders. Before I had been worried about losing her, but now the very though made me weak. And not just here, there were a thousand times she could die by Sovereign's hand.

_*Pull yourself together.*_

I nodded and forced myself to keep moving. The few enemies before us fell easily, but I scarcely noticed. I was just going through the motions, not paying attention. I couldn't focus myself that far.

They died, that was the important part.

"That turret could punch some nasty holes in the Normandy." Garrus commented as we got closer to it.

I was almost ready to tear holes in the Turret. But I doubted any Biotic was that powerful, and I had been using my Biotics for hours.

A rocket landed nearby, knocking me on my ass. The floating drone responsible seemed to gloat as it hovered there.

Part of me knew that it was impossible for a Geth to show emotion like that. Another part of me didn't care. My eyes glowed, and I jumped at it, my Biotics letting me propel myself higher than should have been possible. I had never been great at volleyball, but I spiked that thing into the ground with a powerful slap.

I hovered a moment before I realized I was doing exactly that. I lost control of my Biotics for a moment, fumbling to reactivate them in time. I managed to slow my fall, but I still landed hard on my ass.

"Problems Bourne?"

"They never covered this on Omega." I muttered, almost believing the lie for once.

"We should be almost done here." Shepard said. "Take down the turret."

I nodded, and went over to the control panel. It was a simple on/off switch.

I hit it, and the thing glowed, but it showed that the Turret was now inactive.

I gave Shepard a thumbs up, but then I saw a mass of Geth and Krogan coming down the walkway. "Shepard, they followed us up!"

Shepard followed my gaze, and drew her Sniper Rifle. As soon she saw them, they fell.

I turned my attention to the elevator, where a pair of Geth had just shown up.

"Hello." I said, tossing a singularity into the elevator with them. They floated up to the ceiling. I concentrated on the voice of Sovereign, building my anger. I unleashed a wide warp field, destroying them. "And goodbye."

We moved into the elevator, the enemies still coming. I flung the destroyed Geth at them as the doors slid shut.

"Nice work on that gun commander. We've got the other one in our sights." Ashley's voice brought me back.

We moved through the facility to the bomb site, killing a few Geth along the way.

Ashley's' voice kept me moving as she broadcast her orders.

I smiled as I heard a distant explosion.

But as the Normandy cruised in, my smiled faded. It was time.

_It's him or Ashley._

_(Face it. You could have saved him, but you just didn't try.)_

_)I don't try. I do, or I don't. There is no try.(_

_(You aren't a Jedi.)_

_)Bioware made KoToR too you know. It might be possible.(_

_(That isn't… You just are impossible to talk to.)_

_)Thank you.(_

_(That wasn't a compliment.)_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Kaiden stepped off the ship, helping carry the bomb. Shepard noticed that Bourne seemed to be forcing himself to watch. She walked over to him. He acknowledged her presence with a nod, but he then he turned his attention back to the Bomb.

_It might just be Sovereign's revelations. But I know that it isn't. What is up with him?_

Kaiden radioed Shepard from across the site. "We are in position. Bomb's set."

"Commander! Jason! Can you hear me?"

Bourne closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Shepard hand went to her com, years of being in charge making her ignore Bourne's odd behavior.

"The Nuke is almost ready. Get your ass over here Ash!"

"Negative! The Geth have us pinned down on the AA tower. We're taking a lot of casualties! We'll never make it to the rendezvous point in time."

Bourne's eyes snapped open. "We're coming back for you Ashley. Just hold on."

"Go after her. I need a couple of minutes to finish arming this thing. Go get them, then meet me back here."

Shepard nodded. "Get that bomb armed then. The rest of you, get on the Normandy. I want it hovering, ready to take off the second we need it to."

Bourne was already moving towards Ashley and the salarians. Shepard could almost see tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Shepard ignored the thought, experience taking over. She pointed at Garrus and Wrex. "AA tower! Move!"

They followed after Bourne, who was leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. A Krogan came charging at him, and he punched it in the head, sending it flying back into a wall.

He kept going, not even seeming to notice. He stopped as he came to a break in a wall, and a Geth ship flew overhead.

"Heads up LT, we just spotted a Geth ship heading for your location."

"It's already here! There's Geth pouring out all over the bomb site!"

"Can you hold them off?" Shepard said, trying to stay calm.

Bourne watched her with an unreadable expression. _Why doesn't he say something?_

"There's too many. I don't think we can survive until you get here. I'm activating the Bomb."

"What the hell are you doing Kaiden?"

"I'm making sure this bomb goes off, no matter what. It's done. Go get Williams and get out of here."

"You do realize that you won't make it if we do that?" Bourne asked mildly.

Shepard turned to him in anger. "We aren't letting anyone die!"

"She's right Jason. We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko."

"Ashley, I'm not leaving you here." His voice was even, emotionless, and prepared.

The pieces clicked together in Shepard's mind. "You knew. You knew this would happen."

He didn't change. "I knew I might have to make a choice between them. You know my choice already. We have to put the greater number of lives first, which means her and the Salarians."

Shepard felt a surge of emotions, too many to identify. She closed her eyes, and forced herself to say the most difficult thing she'd ever said.

"Bourne, we can't."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

It took me a moment to realize what she'd said. I'd been prepared for anger, for rage, even acceptance; she would have done the same if it was Liara.

But flat out refusal: not on my list of "What ifs" to prepare for.

" Kaiden, radio-"

"Radio my ass! Shepard, Bourne is right!"

"We need your skills more than we need another soldier. I'm sorry Ash, but I have to make a choice."

"I understand skipper. Jason, listen to her."

I shook my head, in denial.

_*You know what you have to do.*_

I forced myself to meet Shepard's gaze. Her eyes were sympathetic, but behind the cybernetics, I knew she wasn't going to budge.

"I understand your choice Shepard. But I've made mine."

I rushed past her, heading back to the bomb site.

_(Oh, please tell me you are joking. You're Joking!)_

_)Not this time.(_

"Bourne, what are you doing?"

"You three go after Ash and the others; tell Joker to meet you there. I'm going to get Kaiden."

Garrus looked at me in shock. "Bourne, you're crazy. You can't save both!"

" I will. Or I'll die trying."

Iron moaned.

Shepard took a step towards me. "Bourne-"

"Raptor, Go!" I stepped through the doors of the elevator, willing the thing to move faster. "If I'm not there in time, go."

_(You are insane. You are fucking Insane! I am the sanest person in existence compared to you!)_

_)I'm in a video game. The whole universe in insane.(_

_(You're just throwing your life away! Normally I wouldn't care, but considering that there's more than one of is in here)_

_)If I die, isn't that your whole goal?(_

_(My goal is to kill you myself you idiot! If you die because you decide to make some noble sacrifice, I'll be as dead as anyone!)_

_)Then help me. Give me access to your powers.(_

There was a hesitation, then my whole world lit up with light. My Biotics flared subtly, though I hadn't activated them. I felt my weariness from the day fade away. I flashed my powers, and my cornea brightened and thickened.

_(I can't believe I'm actually doing this. And I don't know how long I can keep it up. Get in, Get out. Fast.)_

_)That's the plan.(_

The doors opened, revealing the channel leading to the bombsite.

A few Krogan were waiting for me. I ran forward, the bullets bouncing off of me. The rush was invigorating, the power of two Biotics flowing through me at once.

The first one got a knife jammed through his head before he could even raise his gun.

The second one fell back, seeing what I could do, but I simply warped him into a puddle. I stepped through it, opening the door.

I cracked my knuckles as I surveyed the bombsite.

_I count, oh, 3 dozen geth._

I smiled. _Piss-poor odds for them._

Kaiden was pinned down behind the bomb, holding their attention. I got close to the nearest one, then punched a hole right through it.

The others turned to me. "Ok, who's next?"

They opened fire, and Kaiden poked his head out. "I told you to go after Williams!" He threw a trio of them into the rest of the group, and sent a few in from my end.

"Shut up and keep shooting them!" I shouted. I didn't bother with my guns; thanks to Iron, an unlikely ally, I was more effective with my Biotics alone.

I started throwing them left and right, but they scattered, forcing me to start warping individuals. I darted among them, ripping off heads, punching through them, ripping off heads, anything I could do to disable them.

"How are you doing all this?"

"Magic" I deadpanned as grabbed a geth and ripped it in two, like I had done so long before, when I hadn't had my full powers.

_Or maybe I did. Iron hadn't woken up at the time, so maybe I had access to his powers since he couldn't block me._

I shrugged and started swinging the halves by the arms like flails. The platforms were sent flying.

A few survivors pulled back, chattering in their odd machine language. I grabbed a nearby explosive tank and sent it flying into them.

I lowered my hands, surveying the battle field.

"Bourne, coming back here was reckless. You should have gone after Ashley with the others." He smiled. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me yet. We still have to get to the other side of the base."

"And we're supposed to get there before the thing goes off?"

"There's no way for you to disarm it?"

"It's on a timer; it can't be stopped."

"Anyway to slow it down?"

He looked at it, then brought up his Omni-tool. "I can activate the safety protocols left over from the drive core. It'll buy us a few minutes, but we better move fast."

He started sprinting towards Ashley, and I followed him, still glowing with borrowed power.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard stepped out of the elevator, still not believing what Bourne had done.

_I won't let this be another Akuze! _She forced herself to not think of it. The last thing she needed now was to shut herself down like that. An explosion nearby caught her focus, making her concentrate.

She brought up her sniper rifle, taking aim at the closest Geth.

Garrus was right next to her, also picking targets. Wrex rushed ahead with his barrier and shotgun, taking out geth left and right.

"You need to move fast Shepard! I don't think we can hold out here much longer!" she suddenly was cut off by a loud explosion. "Watch the corners! Suppressing fire!"

Shepard ran across the field, switching to her shotgun, much as she preferred sniping.

She suddenly found herself facing a giant Geth destroyer. It leveled its shotgun at her, and she threw herself to the side. She landed on her side, the thing towering over her.

It looked down at her, and she activated the explosive shot. It caused the Geth to stumble back, losing its shields, but it didn't kill it.

It leveled its gun at her head, and Raptor Shepard knew that she was going to die.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

I rushed out of the elevator, heading to the next one. I brought up the countdown on the bomb, and we only had ten minutes now.

_(If we get killed because the damn elevators are being too slow, I'm blaming you.)_

_)What's the matter, annoyed that you aren't so immortal as you thought?(_

_(I will kill you myself when we are done here.)_

_)I hate you too man.(_

Kaiden suddenly cried out, and fell to the ground. I turned towards him as a Geth uncloaked, and leveled it's shotgun at me. With my new powers I simply flicked my finger and it exploded outward.

_(Ok, I will say that you're a bad ass with both of us working together.)_

I looked at Kaiden, who slowly got to his feet, but heavily leaning on his right.

"What happened?"

"It must have hit my leg or something. I can't put my full weight on it."

I groaned. _Perfect._

Aware of the ticking clock, I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder.

"Hang on Kaiden. We aren't dead yet."

"You're risking yourself just to save me. I have to ask, why?"

"I can't lose Ashley. There was no other way."

"But you would have sacrificed me if that was the only way?"

I stepped into the elevator, noticing a blood footprint that must have been Garrus'.

"Yes." He deserved the truth.

"You two really have something Shepard and I never did." He said, not seeming fully aware of what he was saying. I didn't know if it was the pain, or pain meds, or what, but he seemed to have lost a few inhabitations. "You shouldn't have risked it for me."

_(You see? He agrees with me.)_

"You can complain if we die, not before."

"I don't think I'm going to make it out of here in one piece. But if that happens, promise me that you'll protect Shepard. I still care about her."

It seemed reality was still bending around me, readying him for what might be inevitable. I hesitated, then I lied. "I'll do everything I can."

_(Well, minus actually saving her from the collectors.)_

_) I admitted that I was lying. The guy might die here, give me a break. I'm trying to comfort him.(_

_(He was supposed to die here! That's what you planned from the beginning! Then Shepard made one call that surprised you, and the whole thing went to hell!)_

_)I though you said you were already in hell.(_

_(You go to hell!)_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard didn't fear death, she had faced it too many times to be afraid of it.

But she couldn't bear to think that Liara would be left behind. She sent a silent apology to her for doing this to her so early.

She looked at the Geth, ready for the shot.

But it was suddenly grabbed from behind by Wrex, and the shotgun blast missed her head by inches.

"Wrex, now!" Garrus yelled.

The Krogan roared and Flung the Geth into the air, where Garrus shot it clean through with his rifle.

She got back to her feet. "Thanks." She stored her shotgun, the battle seemingly over, and walked towards Ashley.

She suddenly heard the noise of charging Biotics, and her side arm was in her hand in an instance.

A Turian appeared on a hovering platform, flinging balls of energy left and right.

_Saren._

Shepard had always heard that Turian biotics were exceedingly rare, and had never heard of Saren being a Biotic. But she didn't really care whether or not he was supposed to be as he flung a ball of energy right at her feet, knocking to the ground for the second time in as many minutes. The rest of her team quickly joined her.

She scrambled behind a nearby pillar for cover, getting her bearings back. Saren jumped down from his hoverboard, walking towards her.

She wheeled around cover, firing shot after shot at him. Not a single one touched him.

She got back behind cover, thinking frantically.

"This was an impressive diversion Shepard. My geth were utterly convinced that the salarians were the real threat.  
>He shrugged "Of course it was all for nothing. I can't let you disrupt what I have accomplished here. You can't possibly understand what's really at stake."<p>

"Why are you doing this?"

"You've seen the visions from the Beacon Shepard. You and Bourne should have been the first to understand what the Reapers are capable of. They cannot be stopped. Do not mire yourselves in pointless revolt. Do not sacrifice everything for the sake of petty freedoms. The Protheans tried to fight, and they were utterly destroyed."

He stared pacing, waiting for her to show herself. "But what if they had bowed down? Would they still be alive today? Is not being ruled better than being killed off?"

"You don't really believe the Reapers will let any of us live?"

"Now you see why I never came forward with this to the Council. We organics are driven by emotion instead of logic. We will fight even when we know we cannot win.  
>"Our only chance is to work with the reapers- prove we can be useful to them. We will be wiped out if we don't! That is why I joined Sovereign.<br>I am aware of the dangers, which is why I built this facility. I hoped to protect myself with it."

_I have to keep him talking. No way can I beat him in a straight up fight like this. _"You think Sovereign is controlling you, influencing your thoughts."

"I've studied the effects of indoctrination. The more control exerted, the less capable the subject becomes. That is my saving grace.  
>"Sovereign needs me to find the conduit. I'm been promise a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my only hope."<p>

"It lied! You were a Spectre! Sworn to defend the Galaxy! Then you broke that vow to save yourself! You could join us and stop them. Instead, you let Sovereign pull your strings like a puppet!"

"My way is the only way any of us will survive! But you will doom our entire civilization to complete ruin. And for that, you must die."

A loud whistle caught both of their attentions.

"Hey Saren! Knife!"

**Bourne.**

I had stashed Kaiden by the others while they were talking, and gotten as close as I could without being spotted.

But I heard every word of the conversation.

_Saren is a mad dog, and needs to be put down._

I threw a knife at him, propelling it at him Biotically. He caught it in midair.

I stared.

_(You really should have had a back-up-plan.)_

_)I know.(_

_(And really? Of all the things you could have quoted, you choose a talking fruit?)_

"That went a lot better in my head."

Saren looked at me, studying me.

"Ok, plan B. Fight you like Shepard was planning to anyway."

Saren chuckled. "I'm impressed at the lengths you've gone to stay undercover. But you no longer need to hide."

I frowned, flaring my Biotics again. I noticed with a small pang of worry that it was no longer supplemented by Iron.

_)What the hell?(_

_(Now I can take credit if he kills you. Good luck!)_

"Ok, I am so sick of this!"

"Then end the Charade and take your place with us."

I flared my Biotics even more. "I don't know what drugs you and the squid have been smoking, but if you think I'm on your side, you are sadly mistaken. And if you say it one more time, you'll envy the dead, then very quickly join them."

He continued to study me. "So. You really don't remember anything. I was doubtful when Sovereign told me."

"Don't remember what? I want answers Saren."

"Very well Bourne. Or should I say, Iron?"

That single word broke my concentration. _What? How does he know?_ My Biotics faded a moment, only to appear a moment later, blood red. I fought back, but to no avail.

"How do you know of me?" Iron asked. _Oh, that is **SO** not good._

* * *

><p><strong>And…. Cliffhanger! Wow, you guys won't be happy about this I'll bet.<strong>

**Next: Origins.**

**I should be able to get the next chapter out tomorrow, but if I can't, I'll see you next weekend.**

**Keelah Se'lai.**


	50. Origins

***Trumpets and Parade***

**It's Chapter #50! And yet I'm barely close to half way done. Sigh. At this point, my goal is to have this first one done by the time ME3 comes out. But I'll have more time to write in a few weeks, so please bear with me.**

**I have to wonder though; How was I ever naïve enough to think I could have this done last year? Well, better late than never I guess. **

**That's what she said. **

**Wait, what? **

* * *

><p>Shepard's cybernetic eyes widened as Bourne's Biotics became a bloody crimson and Iron revealed himself<em>. And to Saren of all people! I thought that he didn't want to be discovered!<em>

The twisted version of Bourne flexed his hands. "Ahh, you don't know how good it is to be back in a real body. It's been a while." He smiled evilly. "Garrus remembers it especially well I'm sure." Garrus weakly tried to raise himself, only for Iron to blast him back to the ground.

The Biotics faded back to blue. "And they say I have no concept of subtlety. You literally just-"

Red took over once more. "Oh shut up Bourne."

He crossed his arms, turning to Saren.

"So, have we met before?"

Saren's expression was unreadable. "Yes. It seems that you remembered some of it at least."

He raised an eyebrow. The familiar expression and face of Bourne was off putting paired with Iron's red eyes and low voice. "You know what? have been trapped inside an idiot's mind for longer than I care to think of. I have had to put up with all sorts of shit from him."

His powers blazed around him. "So if you and that overgrown Squid don't give me some damn answers!"

Saren held up a hand. "I read the report that Other wrote. He claimed to be trained on Omega by a band of mercenaries, and to have been genetically engineered. It isn't that far from the truth."

"Explain." It was not a request, it was an order.

Looking at Iron, listening to him, Shepard could almost understand why they were alternate versions of each other. He held the weight of command, but he did not command respect as she did, he demanded it.

"It was an idea that came to me suddenly. Humans are the newest species to the galaxy, yet they have done in years what took decades for the other species to accomplish. Most distrust you."

"You know that they set a bomb off right? That's going to go off soon? You should talk faster."

"Using technology provided by Sovereign, you were genetically programed and enhanced to be the perfect killer. Once unleashed, you would make all bow before us, and make our task much easier. It took only months for you to be grown, and less time to train you."

"Anything else?"

"What?"

Iron narrowed his eyes. "Either you are keeping secrets back, or you don't know as much as I'd hoped."

His eyes became blue again. "Or-" he broke out into a fit of coughing. "Ok, seriously dude? Do you have to talk like that? You aren't fricking Batman!"

Despite the situation, Shepard had to roll her eyes at Bourne. She quickly refocused them as Iron took control back.

"Much as I loathe to admit it, Bourne has a point. Is Nazara not sharing everything with you after all?"

Saren straightened in surprise. "What? How could you know-"

"We know a lot of things. Things that Bourne has kept from you, Raptor. Like for instance, did you know that-"

His fist, glowing blue, rose and hit him across the face. "Not going to happen lunatic."

"Fine. It doesn't matter much anyway."

Shepard realized that Saren had forgotten her, and Iron was ignoring her. She ditched the pistol, switching back to her preferred weapon. She sighted it on Saren's head, but something held her back from pulling the trigger.

"What's the matter Bourne? Afraid to let them know how much you've betrayed their trust?"

"I've been straight with them that they shouldn't trust me."

"I'll deal with you when I get what I want. So then Saren, if I was bred in a lab as you claim, how did I end up on eden prime? And more importantly, why is he in my head? I like killing, but hearing voices is new."

"I sent you there to assist the Geth in retrieving the beacon. But your ship was damaged, and you lost contact. I assumed it crashed, and that you had died. I admit I was surprised to see that you were with Shepard, but I had assumed that you were simply undercover. I had other matters to attend to. Yet after your actions on Feros, Sovereign ordered me to bring you back. There has been no communication with the Krogan I sent to fetch you. I assume he is dead?"

Iron laughed harshly. "You should have seen how terrified he was when Bourne threatened to rip his plate off! I didn't even know he was capable of something like that!"

"Well, he pissed me off!"

"Yes, keep telling yourself that Bourne."

"Why do you keep referring to Other by that name you took for yourself?" Saren questioned harshly.

Iron's face twisted in confusion, to be replaced by Bourne's smug look. "You thought that the Pysco was in charge. Surprise! It's all me."

"Most of the time. Did you forget that little… accident the Quarian had?" He shrugged. "Let me ask you, why do you call him, Other? And for that matter, why is he in my head in the first place?"

"Why am I In your head? I think you got that backwards *Bronze*"

"I did not follow the exact process of your creation, but it required enough energy that it had to be drawn from another dimension. It appears that your other personalities were brought through along the way. You, called Iron, the second, called Other-"

Shepard shook her head_. Interesting as this is, Saren can't leave this planet in one piece._ She sighted in on her rifle, took a breath and squeezed the trigger.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I nearly shit myself when that shot came out of nowhere and only barely missed Saren's head. He was lucky that he had chosen that moment to shift positions.

Saren turned around in surprise. "That was a mistake Shepard."

He launched another ball of energy at her, forcing her to sprint to another spot. I tried to take advantage of Saren's turned back, but Iron had control for the moment. I had known that using the beacon was risky, but I wouldn't have expected Iron to be this strong. Or so blunt.

_Of course, she had to miss! Damn warping of reality!_

"Well Bourne, if she had hit him, we would get answers to those questions that keep you up at night, staring at the ceiling."

"I have a maniac in control of my body, I think that's higher on my priority list!"

Saren turned his attention back to me, us.

"What more do you want to know then? Kill Shepard for me, and you can retake your place with us."

"Hmm, tempting." Iron replied. He really didn't care; he just wanted me dead, thanks to that stupid idea that he somehow had gotten. _Wait… _Pieces began to come together in my head. Not the answers I wanted, but something I very much needed.

I smiled. "Well, let me ask you something Iron. You may be homicidal, but even you know that the Reapers wouldn't let you live."

I started pacing back and forth, fighting to keep control away from Iron for a few more seconds. "And for that matter, why would you want to work for someone else in the first place?"

He stopped me in our tracks. Very slowly, he turned to Saren. "You… No, it's impossible. I'm a god! You can't have controlled me!"

I took advantage of his shock and took control again. "He indoctrinated you." I turned to Saren. "Am I right?"

"Multiple minds in one body were unstable. You had to be tamed. All three of you did. It was unavoidable."

Iron narrowed our eyes. "Three? Speak sense, there are only two of us."

"It seems the accident took more than your memory then." Saren replied. "But did it take your loyalty? We gave you life. We are why you exist."

"You lie!"

"No Iron, he doesn't. You just don't want to admit he controlled you." I smiled. "Either he did, or he's lying about it. Either way, what do you think about it? Because if I was you, I'd be pissed."

Anger flowed through me, stronger in him than any emotion I'd ever felt. Our Biotics merged once more, red and blue forming a deep purple.

"I'd say I'm right."

"I'd say I have half a mind to kill him." He replied

"And the other half agrees." I grinned. He rolled his eyes mentally, but he had no control of the body. We were coexisting, moving as one.

Saren took a few steps back; he must have seen me in action before. "Resisting the Reapers is madness!"

"Madness?"

_(Oh no, please don't do it, it's so overused.)_

"This! Is! SPARTA!"

Time slowed around us, then I was propelled forward, punching Saren right in the face.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't satisfying. His return punch to the gut… Not quite as fun. It knocked us back, giving him time to hop onto that little flyer of his.

"So be it. You were valuable, but not expendable." He followed this statement up with a few bullets.

I felt them tearing through my Barrier, and my Armor could only just deflect them.

_(He's using modded rounds!)_

_)Can you put that in a memo and entitle it "Shit I already know!"?(_

Saren was a pushover in game; just my luck he was actually a threat in reality. I ran across the platform, barely keeping ahead of his bullets.

I hurled my knives at him, but they were deflected by his own powers. He had reality on his side; he wasn't meant to die for a while.

_(Yeah, well, we don't have that luxury.)_

_)Again, shit I already know.(_

_(Quit referencing RvB and fight!)_

I decided to go a more direct route; I charged him off of his platform, sending us tumbling towards the ocean. I pummeled at him, but strong as I was, even with Iron, Saren was stronger. He grabbed me by the throat, dangling me over a hundred foot drop. _Well, this is familiar._

I clawed at his arm, but he only tightened its grip. The Geth arm was apparently for more than just show. There was no mercy in his dead grey eyes.

_)Well, I have to say. I never, ever expected to go like this.(_

_(Hey, it could be worse.)_

_)How?(_

_(… I don't know. I was trying to cheer you up or something. Last minute soul saving.)_

_)… Do you actually believe in god after all that's happened?(_

_(Do you?)_

_)Well, considering you thought you were a god until two minutes ago, you have no room to talk.(_

_(You're the one always saying I'm crazy.)_

"Any final words Bourne? Or Iron?"

I spit in his face. _(Damn it, why couldn't I have done that?)_

I saw Shepard behind him, cooling focusing her rifle.

"I truly wish I didn't have to do this Iron." Saren said, tightening his grip.

I managed to smile. "You are a horrible liar."

Shepard's shot could never have been so perfectly aimed, nor could it have been deflected so well by Reality. It tore through Saren's mandible, and he instinctively dropped me, grasping at it.

Had this happened after I had first came here, I would have died. I only just managed to grab the ledge, anchoring myself with a singularity.

I used my fading abilities to pull myself over the ledge. Shepard was getting the others to their feet.

"Bourne, get up! We need to go! Now!" Shepard yelled at me. "That Explosion is going to be almost ten million degrees. Let's not be here when it goes off!"

I heard the Normandy sweeping in, and was quick to comply.

_(We only have a minute until that thing goes off.)_

_)I know.(_

Joker swept in, hovering just above the ground, back open. I helped Shepard haul Garrus onboard, then grabbed Ashley from where she'd been knocked down. Wrex limped over on his own. "Come on, we need to go!" Shepard screamed at me as I hesitated at the brink.

I looked at where I'd stashed Kaiden. _(You are an idiot.)_

As I ran towards him, I was sort of inclined to agree.

I slung him over a shoulder as the countdown ticked to 30.

_)Unless you want to die in a fiery explosion…(_

I felt time slow down. _)Glad you saw reason.(_ I propelled myself forward, aiming for the ceiling of the Hanger.

The doors literally shut a micro second after we were onboard, the Normandy already in motion. But since I had been in motion too, I ended up deflecting off the floor in what could be best described as a failed summersault. I stared at the ceiling a moment, seeing stars.

The sight of an angry Shepard looming over me quickly brought me out of it.

She hauled me to my feet, then back handed me. "Don't ever do something that reckless again."

"I can't promise that."

She sighed. "Well, at least you're honest about it."

Ashley practically rammed into me with a rib cracking hug. "Jason… Don't ever do that again."

"See Shepard? You should take note of how Ashley says it."

That just made Ashley slug my shoulder too.

Shepard rolled her eyes, but she wrapped her arms around me, confusing me for a moment. "Bourne, you and I are going to have a serious talk later." She whispered.

She pulled back. "Believe it or not, you're my friend Bourne. And I would hate to see you throw your life away."

Garrus was being fussed over by Tali, and Wrex was just leaning against the wall, letting himself heal.  
>Liara was rushing into Shepard's arms, and I quickly looked away before I could get very unneeded images in my head.<p>

_Wait… _ I felt a cold hand grip my stomach. I had looked to where Kaiden had landed when I'd bounced.

He was knocked out, but that wasn't what caused a sharp intake of breath.

_(I am really glad I am not him.)_

I looked at my arms, counting how knives many I had thrown at Saren. I was one short.

I shook my head. "Tell Chakwas to get down here."

Shepard and Ashley looked at me in confusion.

I went over to him. "Maybe it would have been better if I had just left him there."

"Jason, what are you talking about?"

"I saved you Ash, which I will always grateful for." I knealt down next to him. "But at what cost?"

At the base of his spine, was a single knife.

I was barely aware of Shepard and the others. Even Iron's shock at his revalations didn't intrest me.

_His life was already hard enough. But thanks to me, he's worse than before._

Ashley tried to comfort me, but I let my Biotics push her away.

"You saved his life Jason. You saved my life."

"I didn't save him. I just kept him from dying."

I followed in silence as he was pushed to the medbay.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard<strong>

Chakwas shook her head, looking sadly at Shepard. "Bourne was right. Even with surgery, therapy, he'll probably never walk again."

Shepard looked at Alenko, laying on a cot. His torso and arms shifted in his nightmares. His legs remained still as a statue.

_Bourne knew about this, but he didn't tell me. I should have listened to him. I shouldn't have trusted him._

She couldn't bear to look at him any longer. He just stood there, staring at him.

She strode into the room she shared with Liara and locked the door. She didn't want even her lover to see her like this. Clutching her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth, she wept as she hadn't since Akuze.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

I looked through at the closed door numbly.

_(I knew this wouldn't be a great day, but not this bad.)_

For once I agreed with Iron. He had been brought back to reality, I had betrayed Shepard, the only person besides Ashley that I could count as a friend, and we had a greater mystery than ever to solve.

_(… Do you think Saren was telling the truth?)_

_)He must have been.(_

_*He was.*_

Pain shot through my head, and Iron screamed with me. My Biotics flared and flickered, red, blue, purple, the world spun around me.

The rest of the ground team rushed in, but I barely saw them. I saw only blackness.

_*Come. I will explain.*_

_(What the fuck just happened?)_

_)WTF is right.(_

* * *

><p><strong>And you thought the last few cliffhangers were bad. <strong>

**But in all seriousness, thank you. All of you. Those of you who've added this story to alerts, those of you who have favorited, those few of you that now consider me a favorite Author.**

**I mean, I might have still wrote this just for fun, but your support makes it that much more enjoyable.**

**50 chapters is more than I ever thought I'd write of anything.**

**I'll be throwing out more about the sequal later, and which I'm doing first, but until then, and until I finish this thing,**

**Keelah Se'lai.**


	51. Hero

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Legion would call humans meatbags. He's practically HK-47's younger brother. Well, it, not he, if you want to be like that, but you get the idea. **

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe this." Ashley said for what Tali thought was the fifth time.<p>

"Williams, if Bourne was dumb enough to make a choice like that, then it's on his head." Wrex said.

Tali shook her head. _He isn't great at cheering people up, but at least he's trying. I think._

"If he had just gone after Kaiden like I told him to, he wouldn't be in there paralyzed."

Garrus shook his head. "I may not like Bourne, but nobody could blame him for that. The odds of that knife bouncing off of him like that are on in a million."

Ashley snorted. "What, you aren't going to make some sort of claim like he did it on purpose?"

"If he had wanted him gone, he could have just left him there instead of going back for him and nearly getting left behind himself."

"He should have just left me there."

Liara put a hand on her shoulder. "And if he had, he would have never forgiven himself."

"You think he'll forgive himself for this?"

Garrus sighed. "You remember when he told us that we shouldn't trust him? Somehow, I do." He paused a moment, realizing what he had just said." But Saren's story brings up a few questions."

Tali groaned. _Why can't he just let it go? It wasn't his fault, it was that Iron's fault._

Every head suddenly snapped towards the med bay as a loud scream came from it. Tali recognized the voice.

"Jason." Ashley said, eyes widening.

She rushed in, followed by the rest of the team.

Bourne was… The only word Tali could think of was floating; just suspended on his back in midair. His Biotics were activated, his eyes staring blankly into space. Tali's hand went to her shotgun as they flared red for a moment.

"Jason? Can you hear me?" Ashley tried getting close, but was knocked back by the miniature Biotic storm.

"Williams, stay back. The last thing he needs is for to get hurt because of him." Garrus said. He drew his side arm, keeping it trained on him.

"Garrus?" Tali asked hesitantly.

"Someone go get that Biotic suppressor." He didn't take his eyes off of him. "I'm guessing there's a reason for the red Biotics. And if it is Iron that wakes up, I'm not letting him take us down again."

Ashley hesitated, but she saw reason. "I remember where the other one is."

"I'll go with you." Tali said.

She wanted to tell herself that she didn't want to be there because she wanted to help. But as she remember the pain of the fever and the knife that had brought it, she knew that she was lying.

_Iron. _The very thought terrified her. She shuddered as she left the medbay, almost having to jog to keep up with Ashley.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

_"Augh, what hit me?" I asked nobody in particular. I realized I was lying on the floor, and got to my feet, taking in my surroundings._

_"Well, this is familiar." It was the same empty blackness I had been trapped in after Therum. But this time, there were no visions of what was yet to come. It was just me._

_"Ok, I just know this is your fault somehow." A very unwanted voice said._

_I turned, knives already in hand. _

_"Oh please. Do we really have to do this again?" Iron asked, shotgun aimed at me. His sneer was made even uglier by his glowing red scars and crimson armor._

_"You're only saying that because you lost before."_

_"You got lucky."_

_"Actually, thanks to you, I didn't even kiss Ashley yet."_

_He shifted, shotgun still aimed at me. "Truce."_

_"When hell freezes over."_

_He shrugged. "You didn't keep me dead last time you stuck me full of knives. And at this moment, I actually don't want you dead."_

_I stared at him. Then I laughed, keeping my eyes trained on him. "What, are you going to pick flowers and starting a Disney song too?"_

_*I very much doubt that.*_

_I frowned as I realized the voice had been in my head, not out loud. Well, the whole thing was going down in my head, but it was different than when Iron and I had been "Speaking" out loud._

_*I'm going to guess you want answers.* Iron and I spun, looking for the source._

_"Damn straight. Oh man, why did we have to say that at the same time? Ok, knock it off. No, you first." We glared at each other._

_"You don't get along well do you?" We spun towards the voice, but it clicked in my ear. Or mind's ear or whatever. I decided to just ignore the inceptioning for now._

_Iron and I were no longer alone. Standing there was a woman that looked like…_

_"Shepard?" I asked incredulously. The voice was the same, but it seemed off somehow._

_"Well, yes and no." As she stepped closer, I took in her face. Her hair was short and blond, leaving her looking nearly bald, and her face was unscarred, and slightly different in the very minor details. But her eyes were the same shade of purple as her armor, a rich violet darker than Raptor's. _

_She could have been Raptor's older sister. But in a sense, I suppose she was. _

_"But not the one you know."_

_"Hero." I realized._

_Iron made a retching noise._

_"Yeah, glad to see you as well Iron."_

_"Go to hell."_

_"You seem to think that this is hell."_

_I laughed. Then I laughed hysterically. Things had finally caught up with my brain._

_Iron took a few steps back from me. He turned towards Hero. "Huh. Figures it would be another damn Paragon. I guessed it would be you, but I was sorta hoping for Shock or Shade. Get someone that would agree with me in here."_

_"They were busy." Hero said with a wry smile._

_I laughed even harder._

_"Ok, this might be hypocritical, but you sound like a complete lunatic Bourne." Iron said, raising his shotgun slightly._

_Hero waved her hand, and the Gun vanished, along with his armor. A wave at me did the same._

_I checked for the knives I kept when out of armor, but they had disappeared as well. "That's an interesting trick." I dead panned, flaring my Biotics and dropping into a combat crouch._

_Iron mirrored me. "Bourne, do we agree we can work together long enough to get some answers?"_

_She shook her head, but flared her own Biotics, the same shade as her eyes and armor. "Have either of you considered that I might be willing to just tell you?"_

_I glanced at Iron. "In my case, no." I lost the Biotics. "But I'm willing to listen." It was an effort to left myself be defenseless before Iron, but… _

_"Why would you just tell us?" Iron said, dropping his Biotics after a moment. I held back a sigh of relief._

_Hero nodded, and her armor disappeared as well, leaving her in a…revealing black dress. She looked at herself, then changed for normal fatigues. It made it much easier to keep my attention where I needed it.  
>I had never been so glad for a good poker face.<em>

_"Because you'll never find out another way." She said simply._

_She waved her hand, and a window appeared like I had seen before. "Saren told you some, but he didn't tell you everything."_

_I glanced at the pysco._

_"I'm listening. Damn it, we said that at the same time again."_

_We stared at each other. "That is really creepy." I said._

_"For a miracle, we agree."_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard <strong>

Shepard heard the scream, but it didn't really register with her at first. She was lost in her memories of the past, and there were plenty of screams there too.

She suddenly heard a loud pounding on the door.

She growled and got to her feet to answer it. Her biting reply vanished when she saw her love's anguished face.

"What is it?" She asked, not as harshly as she would have before.

Liara looked at one of the cots, and Shepard followed her gaze to where Bourne was lying on a cot, stiff as a board and looking like a corpse.

Liara moved out of her way as she rushed over to him. "What happened?"

Chakwas shook her head, trying to maintain a calm demeanor but not quite succeeding.

"I don't know. I was keeping an eye on Alenko, then he just started screaming and clutching at his head. The next thing I knew, he was just floating in midair."

Liara nodded. "That is how he was when we found him. His Biotics were shifting colors from red to blue to purple, and back again."

Shepard noticed the band around his wrist. "Good call keeping him suppressed. Whose idea was that?"

"Garrus'." Liara hesitated. "Shepard, I heard most of what Saren said through the communication channels. It doesn't fit in with what Bourne told us."

Shepard shot a glance at Chakwas and Kaiden. "I promise you Shepard, whatever you want to talk about won't leave this room."

Shepard shook her head. "I trust you doc, but I promised Bourne not to discuss it with anybody that doesn't absolutely need to know."

She glanced at where the others were. _Tali already knows part of it, but she didn't want to know anything else. I shouldn't burden her with it. And none of the others know, which is what Bourne would probably prefer._ She shook her head. "Liara, let's talk about it in there."

Liara nodded and followed her into their room. _Probably just as well Bourne isn't awake to make some crude joke. Though I wish he was right now._

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

_The image shifted, not an image of the future this time, but an image of the past._

_I watched in fascination. _

_"Is it done yet?" Saren asked, somewhat impatiently. The salarian before him managed to look both thrilled and terrified at once._

_"Not yet. We have the body complete, but the mind isn't quite ready yet."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"According to the orders we got from you, this machine is meant to draw energy from another source, along with the most suitable mind."_

_Saren hid his confusion well, but I could still see traces of it. I narrowed my eyes. "Wait, how can I read his face so well here, but I can't even read Garrus' in real life?"_

_Hero waved her hand and the scene paused. "Because I can read it, and I'm the one showing the memory."_

_"I don't understand. Ok this is getting old. And now it's even older."_

_"All three of us are in one mind, remember?"_

_I glared at Iron. "Yeah, funny thing about that. He told me all you put in were the powers."_

_"What, you think that I always lie?"_

_I stared at him in irritation._

_"Ok, good point. But there's a difference between not telling the truth, and not knowing the truth. Lying is much more fun if it's on purpose."_

_I shook my head. "What were you saying about us sharing a brain?" I asked her._

_" Memories can bleed over, like Bourne's abilities, and your knowledge of the real world Iron."_

_"Real world? My world was real! I don't care what he said, I was more than just his work of fiction!"_

_"You are from another universe, where it was real. You corresponded with the character he had created, so wherever the gaps in your memory appeared, his memories of playing as you filled in." She shook her head. "Just watch, and you will understand."_

_Saren continued speaking. "Of course. I was just making sure you understood the instructions. Do as you were told." _

_The scientist nodded to a pair of Geth, who stepped into another room. The image shifted to two views side by side. I gasped as the focus shifted to the face of the body lying on the table._

_I may not have had my new face for long, but I knew it that well at least. And it was covered in red scars. My hands went to my own face instinctively, making sure it was still whole._

_"That's unexpected." Iron deadpanned._

_Saren nodded to the scientist, who began pushing buttons, manipulating energy fields, I didn't understand most of it. I wasn't a scientist._

_But I saw energy flowing into the body lying on the table like some sort of Frankenstein's monster. The eyes opened crimson red, and it was Iron's voice that spoke. "Where am I? What happened?"_

_His eyes turned to the Geth and his Biotics flared, breaking the restraints holding him. Glowing like he was on fire ( I smiled briefly at the thought) he charged forward, knocking the Geth to bits._

_The scientist started pushing buttons as Iron started slamming into the walls, trying to break through them. Saren watched with a satisfied look on his face. _

_"Impressive. Even more so than I had hoped. Contain him."_

_"What?"_

_"He is powerful, but he needs to be trained, and indoctrinated."_

_Iron pounded at the wall as gas flooded the room, but the walls were too thick to break through._

_As the Iron of the past fell to his knees from the effects of the tranquilizer, and the image faded away, the real Iron raged and burned like a Volcano. "He tried to Indoctrinate me?"_

_"We already established that, remember Bronze?"_

_He took a deep breath. "Ok, even I won't argue with this much evidence."_

_I raised an eyebrow. "You aren't going to accuse her of lying?"_

_"*Hero* is too much of a goody-two-shoes for that."_

_I shrugged. "Works for me. Easier than trying to convince you myself."_

_I turned to Hero. "So what happened next?"_

_She shook her head. "After that, the indoctrination kept us from thinking too clearly. I won't show you the fragments, but it seems both of us managed to take over from Iron at various times. Saren tried to indoctrinate all of us, but because there were three of us and we all knew that Saren was our enemy, it didn't affect us as much as it should've."_

_She glanced at Iron. "When you were in control, you fought and raged. You listened to Saren whenever you could kill something, but you tried to kill him just as often."_

_She hesitated. _

_"What about me then?"_

_"You were a little less violent, but you resisted just as much."_

_I crossed my arms. "Don't soften it, just tell me."_

_"You freaked out every time you saw an alien, so you freaked out whenever you saw anybody on Omega."_

_I glanced at where the Omega would be on my armor. I had wondered exactly why I wanted it in red, but it looked like I'd been trying to give myself a clue. Plus, it just looked cool._

_"So Saren was telling the truth about that one." Iron said thoughtfully. _

_I wondered that he could be so rational, then realized that if he had actually been from another universe, he'd have had his own life. And if was as crazy with them as with me he'd be found out in an instant. He was a good actor if he could fool that many people. _

_Or he might have had a multiple personality disorder along with the rest of it. I wasn't a shrink, as well as I understood Raptor or a few of the others' minds._

_"Bourne got most of it right when he 'lied' to Anderson. He just didn't know it at the time."_

_"Repressed memories?" I guessed._

_Hero shook her head. "Amnesia." She gestured again and a new image popped up. _

_Iron was standing with a Squad of Geth, facing Saren. "I want that Beacon secured as quickly as possible."_

_Iron nodded. I noticed that his face, my face was no longer pitted with scars._

_"If you encounter resistance, your unscarred face should serve as a disguise. If you have to go undercover, do so. When you get the chance, break away and report back to me."_

_Iron nodded. "I will do as you command Saren."_

_I looked at real Iron, whose jaw was hanging open like mine when I first saw Miranda's… never mind. It isn't important._

_"You said that we had resisted!" He shouted at Hero._

_"All of us did at first. But because you let him order you to kill, you subconsciously gave Sovereign access, and you began to change. Bourne and I surfaced less and less. Sovereign wanted to choose three minds, then narrow it down to the best."_

_She gestured to me. "Bourne was selected because he could be scared into serving, or so they thought. Your knowledge of future events gave you enough strength to resist."_

_A cold hand gripped my stomach. "Did they-"_

_"They didn't get anything usable. With my help, you managed to only remember unimportant facts, like what had happened when Saren and Anderson went on that failed mission."_

_I nodded. "But they do know? *Nazara* hinted as much. And Saren freaked out when I mentioned its real name."_

_"But Soveriegn didn't share everything with Saren. He knew that we had multiple minds, but he never knew that Iron and I were alternate versions of his enemy's protégé."_

_Iron stared at her blankly. "What?"_

_"She means Raptor. Dumbass."_

_"Hey Bourne? Shut up."_

_"Or else what?"_

_"Do you really want to find out?"_

_ Hero interrupted us. "I helped you because, well, that's sort of my thing. And I was rejected as well. I was chosen because they thought my sense of morals could let them convince me to save the few lives I could. Which of course I knew to be false."_

_"So why did they choose me?" Iron asked._

_"You were chosen for the opposite reason as me. You have no morals, so they could turn you into a weapon. Your pride and arrogance got in the way, but they managed to break you nonetheless. Bourne and I became mere sidenotes."_

_She smiled. "Or so they thought."_

_"I like the sound of that. Keep talking."_

_"The first time Saren sent you out to find a beacon, it was a false alarm. But that wasn't important. The second the Krogan in charge had his back turned… Let's just say it hurt him more than it hurt you."_

_Iron smiled, and this time I stepped back a bit. But his smile faded. "But then, how did he" he gestured at me with a thumb "end up in control?"_

_"That was several months before Eden Prime. You were eventually implanted with a control chip. But the technology that powered your own set of Biotics took up most of the space, and they wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be dumb enough to try removing it."_

_I glanced at my hand, raising the scar on my index finger into the light. "Here?"_

_"Yes. With that chip, you and I were almost completely silenced. You constantly battered against Iron while I bided my time and conserved my strength."_

_"But why there?"_

_"It was the only place-"_

_"No, I mean, I know I had a scar like that in real life. It's one of the few things I remember. Why would the same scar be there? It's a one-in-million-chance."_

_"So it was the Iron didn't hit any of Tali's vital organs with that knife. Or that your knife could deflect from where you bounced, scrape off your arm, and go into Kaiden's spine."_

_I glared at her. "If you're smart, you'll change the subject before I forget that you're trying to help here." _

_She made another image, and I saw us in a ship with a bunch of Geth. Iron waved them ahead of him so he'd be the last one out._

_Suddenly, he glowed Violet, and Hero tore them and the Ship apart with a furious Biotic blast._

_I whistled softly. "When you said you were conserving your strength, you didn't just mean mental strength, did you?"_

_"Well, being a fighter almost entirely dependent on Biotics helped too."_

_The ship broke in half, the fragments scattering. A single glowing meteor hit the ground._

_Hero removed the glove on my right hand and drew the knife from my shoulder. "Ok, I think I get the gist of what you did next." I said, willing the image away. To my surprise, it did fade._

_"I removed the chip, and left the scar like you had before." She confirmed. "Then I tried to make my way to the Beacon to wait for my counterpart. Instead, Sovereign's influence got to me due to my weakened state. I put you back in charge."_

_I narrowed my eyes. "Then explain how I managed to not remember any of this?"_

_"You had almost been removed entirely by Iron and Sovereign. It's a miracle that you lasted as much as you did."_

_"How? If Saren could almost wipe me out, how could that fool survive?" _

_"Because all of us had at least some knowledge of the future and what could happen, we created a paradox that changed reality. But Bourne did so the strongest. He not only knew what might happen, he knew everything that could happen."_

_"But what about my memory loss?" I asked. _

_"I was too weak to pay attention, as was Iron. Some sort of trauma must have happened that caused you to block everything out between then, and directly before you came here."_

_Iron snickered. _

_"Oh grow up"_

_"You're one to talk."_

_"Can you two idiots stop arguing for five minutes?"_

_I glanced at him. "Probably not. Three at the most."_

_"Fine." She sighed. She hesitated. "Bourne… We all know that it isn't your real name or your real life. They tried to remove that, but they didn't quite succeed." She softened her tone. "If you want, I may be able to help you get it back."_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"So he was brought back from the future by Saren?" Liara guessed.

"That's how I understand it. And the process caused him to lose most of his memory."

Shepard shook her head. "I don't know. He's fought so hard to keep his past to himself, but this is too much."

"Raptor, do you think we should tell the others?"

Shepard frowned. "I thought I put my foot down on that."

"I don't mean without Bourne's permission, I mean with it. We should ask him about it when he wakes up."

"That's just it Liara. I'm afraid that it won't be him when he wakes up. If it's Iron…"

"Bourne is much too… what's the way you human's say it? Stubborn as a mule?"

Shepard smiled despite herself. Liara always could cheer her up, even when she wasn't trying. "I think the mule would be less stubborn than Bourne."

She sighed and went over to the door. "Come on. We aren't really going to be able to do anything in here. And we don't need rumors flying around more than they are already."

"True. Bourne seems to find it especially interesting to make fun of it. Why is that?"

"Because it's Bourne."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

_"No."_

_Both of them looked surprised by my answer. _

_"Are you sure?" they both asked at once._

_I shuddered. "That's even creepier."_

_"But are you?"_

_I shook my head. "No. But unless there's some way to get back, it would only be a distraction. And I don't know that I would go back anyway."_

_"Wow. I'm actually sort of impressed." Iron said._

_"What?"_

_"I'm amazed you were able to put that many big words into one sentence." _

_I took a step towards him, Biotics flared._

_"Do we not have enough problems?"_

_"I have two other people in my head; who are supposed to fictional I might add."_

_"You can see that none of this is fictional here. Neither are Saren and the Reapers" _

_Hero looked at both of us in turn. "We all have reasons to want to stop Saren. I want to save all the people that would die. Iron, you want revenge against Saren." _

_He nodded._

_Then she turned to me. "What about you?"_

_"If the Reapers destroy the galaxy, that includes me, Ashley, and Raptor." I smiled grimly. "And Metallica over there isn't the only one that wants revenge."_

_"Metallica?"_

_"Bronze was getting old."_

_"So we agree then?" Hero asked._

_I crossed my arms. "On condition. I'm in control."_

_She nodded. Iron just looked between us with his jaw open. "What? You think having this inexperienced idiot in charge is a good idea?"_

_"He's the one that they know and trust. Having in in charge would only get us killed. And having _me_ be in charge of _His_ body…"_

_Iron and I looked at each other. "Ok, good point." He admitted._

_I triggered my Biotics. "But I warn both of you. If you stab me in the back…" I clenched my fists, willing my armor back onto my spectral self. "I off all people know how to stab back."_

_"Bourne, you suck at making threats." Iron commented._

_Hero shook her head. "Some level of trust will actually be needed at some point to make this work."_

_"I trust Iron about as far as I could throw him without the powers. As for you, let's just say I don't distrust you for now."_

_She nodded. "It's a start. But maybe we should get back to reality?"_

_"Oh, this is going to suck-"_

_The blackness turned to light, and I looked up into Raptor's face._

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

Shepard bent over Bourne's face. His eye were still motionless.

Suddenly, he blinked, and his eyes went back into focus.

"Bourne?"

He blinked again. "You know Shepard, having you hovering over me when I wake up is really creepy."

She leaned back. "Is it really you?"

"Have you and Liara-"

"Ok, it's you."

"Wow, didn't even have to finish the sentence."

Shepard sighed. "Bourne, if I hadn't been worried about you for the last three hours, I would punch you in the face."

He chuckled, then he frowned. "Three hours?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It felt a lot faster in my head." He deadpanned.

"What happened?"

Bourne shook his head. "Gather the others into the com room. I'll be there in a bit."

"Why? Bourne, I want some answers here. You just pass out, and suddenly you want a meeting? Not to mention, why did Iron reveal himself to Saren."

"It wasn't just Iron that revealed himself."

"Way to be Cryptic." She deadpanned.

"Just get the others into the com room." he glanced at Kaiden, and his face darkened. "Those that are able to anyway."

"It wasn't your fault Bourne."

"You're right."

Shepard was brought up sort. He usually seemed to have a guilt complex in matters like this.

"It's Saren's. And he's going to answer for it. One way, or another."

* * *

><p><strong>And, that's going to it for this Chapter. <strong>

**More of Hero will be showing up, and… well, I can't think of any other good teasers so I'll just leave it at that.**

**One other thing: if you haven't seen the latest chapter of "Mass Effect Vs:" please go check it out. Normally I wouldn't advertise that story in this one, but that was the first colab chapter I've done.**

**And even though the guy came up with a bunch of the jokes, he wouldn't accept most of the credit for it. I hope the fact that I'm saying this to my much larger audience will get through to him. You were awesome to work with man. You rolled with the jokes, came up with a bunch of them, and made it all nice and organic. I will take credit for cleaning up the grammer and making the whole thing make sense, but you did a bunch of it too. And I'd definitely be interested in doing another colab. **

**But enough of that.**

**Until next time, Keelah Se'lai. **


	52. Next Steps

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, you'd be able to shoot the council members in the face instead of Sovereign doing it for you. **

**That's just a total rip off.**

* * *

><p>"It should have been me commander."<p>

Shepard sighed. "Ashley, how many times do I have to say that that you're wrong?"

"By my count it's been 23." Wrex deadpanned. "What the hell is keeping Bourne?"

"He said he'd be up here in a few minutes." Shepard answered. _And if he isn't, he's going to regret it. _

"Commander, it should have been me. You know that. Alenko was the superior officer. I would have gladly stayed behind."

"Alenko knew the risks going in-"

"Not all of them." There was a collective jump at Bourne's voice.

"Would it kill to make some noise when you walk?" Shepard griped.

"Probably not. But I needed a good laugh." He walked over to his usual spot on the wall.

"Are you ok Jason?"

"According to me, yes. According to Chakwas, I'm still supposed to be in the med bay."

"Then why are you up here?" Shepard asked with a disapproving frown.

"I put Chakwas in stasis."

They stared at him a moment. Then Shepard sighed and covered her face with a hand. "And you just walked out. Somehow Bourne, I'm not surprised."

"Hey, I didn't hear her telling me to stay. She just stood there when I walked out."

"That's because you put her in stasis." Shepard said in exasperation.

Bourne waved a hand. "Details." His face darkened. "Though details would have been nice going in."

"What do you mean?" Garrus asked.

Bourne sighed, rubbing his temples. "Let's just say, it's crowded up here."

Garrus's hand instinctively went to his gun.

"Calm down Garrus. If Iron was going to break out at any moment, I'd have locked myself in the brig."

He held his hand up. "Besides, with this restraint on me, he wouldn't be able to do much even if he did manage to take over." he glared around the room. "Speaking of which, would someone like to give me the key so we don't end up with another-"

"What details are you talking about Bourne?" Shepard interrupted.

He smirked. "Well, if you want to get Smurfette there to check that's fine, but the conduit is on Illos."

Shepard frowned, trying to figure out what he meant by that, and if he needed to be punched for it. Knowing him, it was probably an innuendo. 

"Illos, I don't think I've heard of that." Garrus muttered, cutting off her train of thought. _But then again, that might be for the best right now._

Liara's mouth moved silently as she whispered to herself.

"Illos is a planet only accessible through the Mu Relay, which was lost thousands of years ago." She said after a moment.

"So then, how is Saren supposed to get to it?" Ashley said.

Bourne nodded at Liara. "Her mom is on Noveria trying to find the coordinates of the thing."

"And you know all this how?" Garrus asked.

Bourne looked at him impassively for a moment. "You have a few trust issues, don't you?"

"Not when it's deserved. What was all that that Saren said?"

"Well, for starters, Jason Bourne isn't my real name. Not that it matters, but I figure that's a good starting point."

"So then, what is your real name?" Ashley asked, face between angry and confused.

He shrugged. "Good question. Long story short, that whole story about being raised by a merc gang on Omega was one big lie." He grimaced. "Or so I thought. I don't remember much before meeting you three on Eden Prime."

"So you've been lying this whole time?" Ashley said, clearly hurt.

"What was I supposed to say? That I had no idea who I was, or why I looked like a merc? Not to mention the Biotics? I didn't even know my own name!" he sighed. "I thought about telling you the truth, but even what I told Shepard only scrapes the surface."

Garrus stood up suddenly, hand dropping to his pistol. "Well your lies paralyzed Alenko and nearly killed Tali."

"Right. I totally meant to do that on purpose." He said sarcastically. "Garrus, to be frank, if I had wanted any of you dead, you would have been worm food a long time ago. And if you really wanted me dead, you'd have shot me by now. I know you have more than enough guts to do it, so I figure that means that you don't really want to."

"Bourne…"

"Ok, look, I'll tell you what I can. When I passed out earlier, it was because things were resurfacing. Saren created me to be a weapon, and put Iron's mind in to control it. Thing is, I got sucked in too, from where ever I was, minus the memories. Just knowledge that leaked from Iron." Bourne smiled darkly." Iron of course betrayed Saren, which ended up with his ship crashing on Eden Prime, and me being in charge." He shook his head. "Didn't work out so well for him."

"That still doesn't explain how you know about Illos. Assuming you aren't lying again."

"Liara can confirm it with Shepard, I'm sure. And as for how I know, it's the same reason that I knew Sovereign's real name. Saren might think that he's in charge, but it's really Sovereign pulling the strings. You saw that as well as I did"

He shrugged. "Like I said, my memories were hit pretty hard, but I think that Sovereign must have done more with me than Saren realized. Like telling me about Noveria for instance. Maybe it'd have sent me if I hadn't broken free. Or I might have ended up on Virmire securing the other Beacon. Or looking for the Prothean expert on Therum."

He crossed his arms. "If I'm being vague, it's because I don't know a lot about this."

Shepard looked at Liara. "Well, one way to find out if he's right."

Bourne leaned against the wall, eyes closed. "Just do it before I get images in my head I don't need."

"Jason…"

"Emphasis on the unneeded, Ash. Wake me when they're done."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne <strong>

I turned my focus inward, leaving only a distant awareness of the outside world. I could dimly hear Shepard and Liara melding minds.

_(Later, you are going to pay for blaming me.)_

_)You and what army?(_

_*Well, if he gets me on his side, you'd be in trouble.*_

_)…. I'll be honest here, having a chick's voice in my head sorta freaks me out.(_

_(Yeah, if you make him start shopping, I'm going to help him take you out.)_

_)If that happened Iron, I'd take her out myself.(_

_*You don't take anything seriously do you?*_

_)Oh, I'm sorry Hero, you're right. I'm in a video game trying to save the universe, while simultaneously attempting to ignore the fact that my friend is going to be dead in a few short months, and possibly me along with her. Not to mention, Ash might straight up dump me. So you're right, I have no right to try to make jokes as a coping mechanism. (_

_(Yep, she's definitely affecting you. Don't get your panties in such a twist.)_

_)Next time we meet in my head like before, you are getting a knife right to the family jewels.(_

_(Ok come on, that's just wrong. Even for me. Who do you honestly know that deserves that?)_

_)Udina, the Turian council member, Garrus on certain days, you, the Turian councilman, Udina, The Turian counselor, (_

_*You have some social issues to work on.*_

_)Hey, when they pissed me off in game I could skip past it. Doesn't work that way here.(_

_*Ok, violence, that's one.*_

_(Wow, I'm actually starting to like her. Well, as much as I can like a goody two shoes like her.)_

_)At least she isn't a mindless butcher like you are.(_

_*Can you stop arguing long enough to have an actual conversation and plan something out?*_

_) How much to tell Raptor?( _

_( Why tell her anything? All it'll do is make her trust you less. Which means it'll be that much harder to get revenge on Saren.)_

_*Well, since she thinks you're from the future, she's bound to think that you knew about Virmire.*_

_)I know. She deserves the truth about that at least.(_

_(You know, I just realized, if I'm 'insane', why do you want my advice?)_

_)My store of people I can ask for advice on this is pretty limited.(_

_*He has a point.*_

_)Thank you.(_

_*I was talking about Iron.*_

I heard a gasp from Liara, and I snapped my eyes open, pushing Hero and Iron away.

"I take it that means I was right?"

"The conduit is on Illos. I recognized it from my research."

I pushed away from the wall. "Good. First thing I've been right about today. But unless we have the coordinates for the Mu Relay, we aren't getting there anytime soon."

"Unless we do manage to somehow find the coordinates-" She suddenly swayed, and Shepard was at her side in an instant.

"Liara?"

"I'm fine Raptor. But sorting out the visions tire me out more than when we would normally meld minds."

_Just think about something else, just think about something else,_

_(Dead ponies.)_

Hero and I both mentally glared at him.

_(Well, maybe he should have been more specific.)_

"You should go to our room and lie down for a bit." Shepard said.

_)Ok, I don't want your help this time Iron.(_

_(You have no sense of humor.)_

"Except for Bourne, you're dismissed."

She waved me over, and I sighed. )Y_ou know, I almost prefer talking to Iron to talking to the council.(_

_*You said 'almost', right?*_

_)Yes.(_

_*Good. You had me worried for a minute there.*_

_(You know, if you can't put up with just me, you aren't going to have a very fun experience on the SR-2.)_

I stood next to Shepard. "Joker, patch us in."

"You want to warn the council about Soveriegn?" He sounded hoarse, and his usual cheerful demeanor was gone. _Kaiden must have hit him hard too._

_(Brilliant deduction Holmes.)_

I felt an strong urge to trigger my Biotics as the Council's holograms materialized. It was a good thing I had the restraint on.

_(That is not me this time.)_

_*Nope. You just don't like those guys.*_

_)No. I don't.(_

"Commander, Bourne, I'm glad to see your mission on Virmire was a success."

_(She has an odd idea of success.)_

_)Your idea of success is to kill as many people as painfully as possible.(_

_(… True.)_

_*Pay attention!*_

"Saren is formidable enough without an army of Krogan serving under him."

I almost growled. "Do you idiots never read the damn reports? Sovereign is the real threat, Saren is just its puppet."

_*… That could have been said better.*_

_(I agree.)_

_*Thank you.*_

_(You only called them idiots? They need something way stronger than that.)_

_*I take it back.*_

"The Reapers wiped out the Protheans, and if we don't stop them, we're next." Shepard agreed, shooting me a look that said to let her handle this.

The Salarian spoke hesitantly. "Yes, we saw mention of this on your report. Sovereign. A sentient machine. A true artificial intelligence. This is quite alarming. If it turns out to be accurate."

The Turian gave a harsh laugh. "It sounds more like Bourne has been snorting Red-Sand."

It took everything I had not to let lose the string of expletives flooding through my head. Hero and Iron were actually shocked into silence. _Somehow, despite how many times I've had them accuse me of lying, in game or not, I still want to kick him in the nuts for saying that .Repeatedly. _

_(You already wanted to do that.)_

_*That's true.*_

_)Well now I want to do it more!(_

"Sovereign is real. The Reapers are real. Saren even admitted it." Shepard defended me.

"He's playing you. He's obviously heard about your visions." The Turian scoffed. "You two are walking right into his lie."

_)Iron, if I ever do decide to kill him, I'm letting you do it. That way it will be as long, drawn out, and painful as physically possible.(_

_(I just might have to take you up on that.)_

_)I'm not saying I'd do it. I'm just saying it would be satisfying.(_

_*It would not. You'd just regret it later when you were on trial.*_

_)I can dream, can't I?(_

"We tried to warn you about Saren, and you wouldn't listen. Don't make the same mistake now."

"Yeah, because if turned out that good before, just imagine how well it will work out now." I said sarcastically.

"You humans have a saying. Even a broken clock is right twice a day." The Turian chuckled.

I saw red, and I was barely keeping my temper under wraps. "Yeah, well we have another saying too."

I raised both fists, and flipped him off doubly. "Go Fuck yourself." _Ok, maybe I am losing my temper a bit_

_(…. You know, maybe you should disconnect now. You're just letting them piss you off.)_

_*I thought you'd want him pissed off?*_

_(Not while I'm trapped in his head. He's a real ass when he's mad.)_

_)Shut up!(_

To my irritation, the Councilor took it calmly. "Maybe we were wrong Bourne."

_*See? You managed to win him over.*_

_(Wait for it.)_

"Maybe Humans are too hot headed to be Spectres."

_(Told you.)_

_)Ok, is it wrong of me to sort of want to let them get killed?(_

_(Not at all.)_

_*Yes.*_

_(And you say I'm crazy.)_

_)That's because you are!(_

"Enough!" The Asari broke in. Raptor sighed in relief at her intervention. "Commander Shepard and Lt. Bourne have performed admirably so far. This discussion is just a minor disagreement."

_Minor disagreement? If we were having this conversation in person, that Turian would be needing a full body cast!_

_*Ok, we get it. You don't like the council.*_

"You and Bourne seem to have a lot of disagreements." Shepard said wryly, shooting me a "I'm going to be pissed about this later" glare.

"Try looking at it from our perspective. Saren is recognizable as a threat."

_Only when it's shoved under your nose with more evidence than should be needed. _I managed to refrain from saying it out loud that time, though it took a lot of effort.

"However, as far as we know, the Reapers only exist in your visions."

The Salarian put in his two credits. "Our decisions affect trillions of lives. We can't make decisions based on wild accusations, even from Spectres. Were you to bring solid evidence, that would be another matter, but as it stands…"

"The Council cannot take any official action here." The Asari finished. "That is why the Spectres were created."

I shook my head. "Well, it's obvious that you won't see the truth, so I guess we should stop wasting each other's time."

The Salarian sighed "If you truly believe Soveriegn is a threat-"

"It is." Raptor and I said at once. As did the two Shepards in my head.

I took one of my knives from my pocket, and examined it. "It seems that yet another human saying is true. 'None are so blind as those that _Will _not see.' I'd say it was nice talking to you, but I'd be lying."

I threw the knife at the off button, my long hours of practice letting me hit the mark effortlessly at this range, even without my powers. And I got the feeling that I'd gotten some experience when Saren was trying to use me, even if I couldn't consciously remember it. I picked it back up and slid it back into my pocket. _Ok, now I feel a little better._

_*Yeah, but she's still going to be pissed.*_

_)How do you know?(_

_*…..*_

_(…Really Bourne?)_

_)Ok, yeah, stupid question.(_

_(No kidding.)_

I turned to Shepard, who was now glaring at me full force. And I recognized that glint in her eye by now.

My hand went up to block her punch, and I held it there a moment, meeting her gaze evenly.

She pulled it away. "Bourne, do you try to make my life more difficult?"

I kept my expression even, though maybe it was a good thing I didn't have the Biotics. "Shepard, if you'd seen what the Reapers are capable of as well as I have, you'd be just as angry with those idiots."

"You just pissed off the three most powerful people-"

"And the dumbest, clearly."

She groaned in exasperation.

"Way I see it, you're the one that actually matters here. I'm just a side note. If they're pissed at me, it takes the heat off you."

"Or they consider us both the same."

I waved a hand. "Let's agree to disagree. We have bigger issues."

She sighed. "Ok mister knows everything, where to next?"

I brought up my Omni-tool, checking the date. About three weeks since Eden Prime. Which didn't leave much time until the Battle of the Citadel. I grimaced at the thought of the many lives lost, but between Kaiden and Fai Dan, I'd learned my lesson about trying to change fate from its intended path.

"I take it that means we're going somewhere I won't like?"

I sighed. "Our next Priority needs to be Noveria."

"What about Cerberus?"

I swore. "I don't know Shepard. Time goes different in fiction than reality."

She frowned, and I realized my slip. "Fiction?"

"Well, with that many versions of you, there were bound to be a few things that had the details stretched too far. Or a few things that did so deliberately for the sake of storytelling."

She nodded, and I held back a sigh of relief. "I hate to mention it now, but Admiral Hacket called and asked us to check out a few Geth outposts."

That got my attention. "That might be worth doing. If we give whatever data we find to Tali, she could take it as a pilgrimage gift."

"You seem awfully sure of yourself on that one. But it makes sense."

I shrugged. "Honestly, most of the things we can do are unimportant. What we need to do should take priority."

"It can't be that easy to find a lost Relay."

"Easier than you think." I shook my head. "I'll just say that we should bring Wrex more than anyone."

"Why?"

"It won't matter whether you know or not. It doesn't matter that I know. Didn't change Virmire much."

Her face darkened as she got my meaning. "So you didn't just know that you might have to make a choice,"

"I thought Kaiden would be left behind if I wanted to save Ashley."

Her face darkened, and I saw her punch coming a mile away, but this time I deserved it so I let it connect. A few seconds later, when I was on the ground seeing stars, I regretted it.

_*Damn, I wish I could've hit like that.*_

_(Pssh, I could do that easy. You remember the reporter?)_

_*Beating her up isn't exactly something to brag about.*_

"You knew?" Raptor asked, seemingly unable to fully convey her shock.

I laughed bitterly. "I had it all planned out. I sent Ash with the larger group, we were already heading to her, you won't romancing Kaiden,"

"What was that last one?"

"We were already heading towards her," I said, getting back to my feet and trying to steer away from those waters.

"You mean I might have ended up with Kaiden?"

I sighed. "Shepard, if you have any respect for me, you will change the subject."

"What if I was male, like in some versions?"

_*Ok, change the subject. I don't care if you have to knock her out.*_

_(You are such a prude.)_

_*Yeah, well I'm the prude that could leave you in a singularity for five hours.*_

_)What would it take to get you to do that?( _

With some effort, I turned back to Raptor Shepard.

"Until you said we were going after Kaiden, I'd given up any hope of saving him." I began pacing again. "But when Iron lent me his Biotics, I thought I might have had a chance. Since it was me that made the choice, he couldn't count it as his own doing, so in his delusion he wouldn't get control." I answered her unspoken question.

"I tore through the opposition, and made it to where you were in time to hear Saren."

Shepard's expression softened. "So you did try to save him at least."

"Emphasis on try. Apparently reality couldn't handle if they had both survived unharmed. So the odds were tweaked, and my knife bounced off me into him." I stopped pacing, looking directly at her.

"You should have told me." She said, crossing her arms. Her emotions were well-hidden.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. Except that Ash would have died instead."

_(You are so pathetic. You know that it won't matter in mere months, yet you still hope onto that stupid scrap of hope.)_

Despite my efforts, Iron's word caused some emotion to emerge on my face. Shepard noticed it instantly. "What else?"

"You don't want me to tell you."

"I do. Even if I can't change it-"

"I once heard that a hundred people were asked, if they could know the exact date they would die, would they want to? Almost every one said no, and believe me Shepard, you don't." I looked away. "Knowing that I might die at the same time isn't an easy thing to know. I try not to think about it, but when I do, I don't know whether to be frustrated, annoyed, scared, or angry. Or all of the above."

Shepard put a hand on my shoulder. "It's natural to fear death."

I laughed. "Shepard, if I was scared of it, I'd high tail it out of here." My expression became somber. "You don't want to know the reason why I'm not scared of it. And you're too much a friend for me to tell you."

"I've lived through too much for anything to scare me."

"What about leaving Liara behind?"

Shepard's face twisted before she regained control, and I knew I'd hit hard. _But she has to understand._

"Shepard, creepy as it sounds, I know you better than almost anyone. You may put on a tough act, but you don't like the idea of death more than anyone else."

"Cowards die many times before their deaths, the valiant never taste of death but once."

_(She's anything but a coward, I'll give her that. But she can still die more than once, so…)_

_)Hey Hero, you said there's a way we can both block him out?(_

_*If there was, we wouldn't hear him for a looong time*_

I pushed past Shepard to the door.. "When it happens, you'll understand why I didn't burden you with the knowledge ahead of time."

"I didn't get a single point for the Shakespeare quote?"

I smiled despite myself. "I always liked 'Et tu Brute?' better."

"I'd have expected you to more go for 'to be, or not to be'"

I turned to her.

"Bourne, I wanted you as my second because I trusted you, not just because of something I couldn't control."

"Yeah, well, If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go shoot something, and it might coincidently look like that Turian counselor."

"Want company?"

I chuckled. "Shepard, I always have company, remember?"

"Is Iron getting stronger?"

"Maybe. But so is Hero."

"Hero?"

"You remember that Saren said there were three of us in here? Turns out Hero was just hiding since I ended up an amnesiac."

"I wondered about that. But isn't Hero sort of a girl's name?"

_(Ok, I'm not even getting involved in that minefield.)_

_*Yeah, you can handle this one.*_

"Let's just say, Hero is a lot like you." I thought for a moment. "But with less chance of me getting hit."

* * *

><p><strong>Tali<strong>

"Garrus, hasn't he saved you at least once by now?"

"I don't know. I was too busy getting beaten up by Iron. Or that time it was actually him that attacked me."

Tali sighed, checking the engine readings again. "Maybe it's just a culture difference. If he had caused an accident on the flotilla, he would have to prove it wasn't his fault. He has."

"Or, he's just crazy."

"Garrus, Liara and I were both listening on the coms to what Saren said. Iron is real."

"Just because he's mostly contained doesn't make Bourne any less dangerous."

Tali sighed and turned to face him. "If you're always expecting it to happen again, you'll both just end up at each other's necks."

"I think you mean, 'at each other's throats'."

Tali frowned inside her helmet. Apparently she still had a few things to learn about alien metaphors.

"Ok, maybe you have a point. But Bourne has to earn my trust."

Tali shrugged. "I guess that's as good as I can get. But you don't need to keep rubbing his face in it. He's good at keeping his face masked, but I can read his body language pretty well. Every time you bring up what happened to me, he tenses like he wants to run. I can tell he regrets it fully."

She turned back to the console. "And he has a point about knowing things that you don't." For a moment, she considered telling him what she'd found out by accident. But Bourne would know that it was her, and the fact that he'd trusted her with it stopped her. _If Bourne wants to tell him, that's his choice._

"Ok. I need to go finish up a few things on the Mako. But just be careful around him. Look what happened to Alenko."

If Tali didn't have a mask, she would have been found out instantly. But as it was, she could hear Garrus leaving. _Wait, if he's from the future, that means he knew about Virmire!_

Tali's first instinct was to tell Shepard, but part of her knew it was a bad idea. Shepard must have figure it out by now, and maybe Bourne had a reason not to tell them. Tali knew how hard it could be to have such important information; she had been followed for a week after she got the data from the Geth. She touched the envirosuit where she'd been shot. It hadn't been as painful as when Iron stabbed her with her own knife, but it wasn't something she'd be eager to repeat.

Tali forced herself to concentrate on the engine. _I can always tell Shepard later. _And as much as she… _Well, I can't really figure out how I fell about Garrus. But he clearly has a vendetta against Bourne for what Iron did. _

Tali could no longer quite bring herself to trust Bourne, but Shepard trusted him, and that was enough for her. _But I'm still going to keep a closer eye on him._

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"I believe that's two for me, and one for you." Bourne  
>gloated.<p>

Shepard rolled her eyes. "You only beat me by one point with the pistols, and that was because you cheated with your Biotics."

"How was it cheating?"

"You knocked the target to the side so I'd miss it."

"I was pulling it closer to me."

"Uh huh."

Bourne chuckled and put away the shotgun.

"You know Bourne, Saren might be deluded, but he knows what he's doing training soldiers." Bourne was as good as she was with his custom modded pistol, and much better with shotguns.

But Shepard still owned with the assault rifle. She smiled. "You know, we still have one last gun to use."

"Hah! Like I'd be dumb enough to go against you with a sniper? Only time I ever saw you miss a target was Saren. And that was because of reality warping."

Shepard frowned. "Remind me how that works?"

"Well, since Hero and Iron are alternate versions of you from the future, they more or less know can happen. And since I know what can happen in multiple branches… I guess it somehow makes reality more or less stable so it keeps within certain boundaries." He laughed suddenly. "Damn, now I sound like a nerd."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "So you forfeit than?"

"Something like that."

"Well unless I somehow end up with Biotics, you have me beaten there at least."

Bourne chuckled. "I hope not. You're dangerous enough already. They made you a Biotic? Reapers would surrender in a week."

Shepard shook her head. "So you want to work with your Biotics for a bit, or are you going to hit the showers?"

Bourne's face instantly snapped to its blank look. "You go ahead."

Shepard chuckled. "How is it you can make every joke there is-"

"Oh shut up."

Shepard shook her head as she walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

_)Will you stop laughing Iron?(_

_(Or else what?)_

_*I know even more bad songs than him.*_

_)Yeah, but then I'd hear it too! I mean, it'd still be better than listening to him, but-(_

_(You two have no sense of humor.)_

I brought up my Omni-tool and hit the com. "Joker, what's our current destination?"

"Uh, actually, we don't have one right now."

I considered my options. "Head for the Citadel. We need supplies." I softened my voice a little. "And we need to offload Alenko."

"Roger that Bourne." he said soberly.

I thought about saying more, but comforting was more Shepard's thing.

I cut the channel and activated my custom Biotic training program.

I smiled as I warped Udina in the face.

_*What did I sign myself up for?*_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, long story short, it's "Research" time again. I might or might not get another chapter out over the weekend, but hopefully I can get another one out by Monday.<strong>

**Until next time, Keelah Se'lai. **

**And if you're new to the story, let me know what you think in a review. I always appreciate feedback.**


	53. Obligations

**Ok, I don't know how I've gone through as many playthroughs as I have without taking out those Geth Outposts before the weekend. But there had better be some reward in ME3 for dying that many times. If they put the Mako back in the third game, I really hope there's an option to nuke it.**

**I know this is more of an in-between, but I was busy last weekend with some big football game. Of course we Americans are the only country that calls_ that_ game Football, and we call what _every other_ single country calls Football "Soccer". **

**But I digress. **

**I don't own Mass Effect. Believe me, if I did, I would have a cooler car.**

* * *

><p>"Oh come on Bourne, it isn't that bad."<p>

He glared at Shepard. "Don't you have someone else to hurt?"

"You've had worse."

"From the enemy!"

He winced slightly as he shifted his arm, giving Shepard a better view of the giant bruise. "Honestly, the one time, the one damn time! I don't double check the restraints, and you turn the freaking Mako upside down!"

"I thought that the hill was smaller than it was."

"It was a sheer 90 degree cliff! It is physically impossible to drive straight up a wall! Gravity still applies! And when you do get put in that position, the correct thing to do is **NOT** hitting the jets! All that does is send the tank flying and spinning, and tossing anybody inside into everyone else! Wrex is not soft!"

Shepard shook her head, giving Bourne a moment to calm down. "Is it going to keep you out of commission?"

Bourne sighed. "Probably not, like you said, I've had worse. I'll probably have to take it easy for a bit though."

Shepard shrugged. "At least we took down all the bases in this sector. And now Tali has a pilgrimage gift. Garrus seems to be less angry with you now."

"It's a start. But trust me, Garrus can hold a grudge."

Shepard turned and left the medbay, activating her Omni-tool. "Joker, what's our ETA to the citadel?"

"With that little side stop, we're about 4 hours out."

"Contact the Alliance medical corps when we get there. The sooner Alenko can get some real help, the better."

Joker's end suddenly cut out.

Shepard wanted to facepalm for how casually she had brought up Alenko's injuries, knowing that he and Joker had been good friends.

But Shepard had lost a lot of friends before. She was just grateful that Kaiden was still alive.

She sighed and went to grab her gear from her locker.

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(You liar. You aren't hurt that badly. Not enough to keep you from going with her.)_

_)Duh. But I'm not risking the chance she'll decide to take that Death trap on another mission. Now I can just wait until Noveria.(_

_*She isn't that bad of a driver.*_

_ (And you say I'm the crazy one.)_

_)Hero, the only way she could be a worse driver is if she were drunk!(_

I thought about sneaking away to my cabin, but if looks could kill, Chakwas was like a basilisk. She wasn't too thrilled about that last time I'd been in here.

_*I told you that it was a bad idea.*_

_)Talking to the team was more important.(_

_(Why? You didn't really tell them anything important.)_

_*Telling them that they don't actually exist in his world might not be the best strategy. It certainly threw me for a loop when I found out.*_

_(Ok, maybe you have a point.) _Iron grudgingly admitted _(But sooner or later, they might figure it out.)_

_)The only way they could ever find out is if I told someone, or if they got it out of my head. And since Liara already got the info from Raptor, I think we're in the clear.(_

_*Yes, but….*_

_(Spit it out.)_

_*If you were to meld with the Asari counselor, then they might act.*_

_(No.)_

_*I was asking him, not you.*_

_(You really want any of those morons in our head?)_

_)**MY** head.(_

_(It should be mine. If the goody-two-shoes hadn't tricked me, I'd still be calling the shots.)_

_)No, Sovereign would be calling the shots.(_

There was a satisfying silence, and I felt Iron withdrawing. I held back a sigh of relief.

_*You know that he's just going to scheme?*_

_)What can he do? He screws us over, he screws over his revenge on Saren. Besides, now I don't have to deal with him for a while.(_

_*True.*_

I settled in for a long wait, pain killers kicking in.

_*There's just one thing I don't understand.*_

_)Only one?(_

_*Why is that Iron can't use singularities, and I can't charge, yet you can do anything either of us can?*_

_)Huh, never really thought about it. Maybe it's because you two were actually trained, but I was self-taught?(_

_*Maybe. Seems like you'd have remembered a little more from Saren though.*_

_)True. Then again, I've yet to Reave like you or use Warp Ammo, Shock wave, or any other abilities from later on.(_

Hero was silent a moment, mulling it over. _*Reality warping again?*_

_)Or my mind set up blocks. Or… most of my Biotics were Vanguards, not adapts. You were the exception to the rule.(_

_*And?*_

_)Maybe my mind created barriers? Like it wants to do what I'd done most? When you think about, it's amazing I'm psychologically capable of doing all that I can already.(_

_*What you've been through would have broken most people.*_

_)For all we know, it might have. Not like I can remember.(_

She was silent a moment. _*That doesn't diminish what you've accomplished.*_

I pointedly glanced at Kaiden. He'd finally woken up earlier, but he was asleep now. I was glad Shepard and I had been out in the Mako when he came too. If he had been anything like what I'd heard, I might have revealed everything. The sooner he was out of my life the better.

_No, the sooner I'm out of his life the better._

_Reality bending or not, I'm still the one responsible._

_*Are you really? You could just as easily say that it was Iron's fault for revealing himself to Saren and keeping you from getting on Board in time. You could say that it's the Reapers' fault for bringing us here in the first place.* _ Though the conversation was purely thought, it was like her voice lowered.  
><em>*And if I had woken up sooner, I might have helped you avert this.*<em>

_)Iron I can handle shifting the blame on. But considering you're the reason it's my fault and not Iron's, I owe you.(_

_*Debt doesn't change whose at fault.*_

_(Oh will you two shut up? I swear, if you keep being encouraging, I'm going to puke.)_

_)Oh go back to being crazy.(_

_(I might be crazy, but at least I know that you and Ash are doomed.)_

I pushed Iron away, realizing a moment later that I had blocked out Hero as well. _Guess I have to take the insane with the good. _ I shrugged. _Still, better than when it was just Iron. _My gaze roved around the room, but as it had for the last several hours, it landed on the team-mate I had crippled.

I began a new game of solitaire, but I couldn't keep my mind on the game.

_I can't take this any longer. _Looking at Kaiden was just too hard.

I swung myself out of bed, and was met by Chakwas' hard stare.

"What?"

She looked at me for a moment, but then she turned back to Alenko.

I decided not to question it. _Better than having to put her in stasis again._

I walked out into the mess hall, flexing my injured shoulder as I did so. I winced for a moment before I managed to put it out of my mind. Hero had taught me a few things about focusing my attention away. Of course with Iron blathering in my ear, it had been a bit harder.

Thankfully though, it wasn't as bad as I made out. But it seemed prudent to beat Shepard over the head with it before someone did get hurt. I had overheard Tali and Garrus talking, and they were almost out of Dextro headache medicine. I made a mental note to restock when we were on the Citadel.

_Speaking of which…_ I did a quick calculation, but I still had plenty of knives for a while.

While the elevator was going down, I did a mental inventory for weapons and Ammo, but the crew seemed to be on top of things.

_Raptor could use some better armor though. If I hadn't pulled her out of the way, that Sniper would have punched right through her heart._

The doors slid open, and I went to don my armor and restock the few knives that I'd lost in the fighting.

"Hey Ash."

Her response was to focus herself even more on what she was doing.

"Something wrong?"

"Sorry, can't talk right now Bourne. Shepard wanted me to take a look at her sniper rifle before she heads out again."

_Yeah, like she ever lets anyone else touch her guns. The one time I grabbed her sniper rifle to install a better mod, she literally ripped it out of my hands and beat me over the head with it!_

_(Dude. She is pissed at you.) _ Iron then proceeded to break out into maniacal laughter.

_*No shit Sherlock.*_

_)Hey! Stop stealing my lines!(_

_*You want to complain some more, or get some advice from someone that might actually be able to help you out?*_

_(What? There's a third person in here?)_

_*Go burn in hell.*_

_(Geez, what's up with you?)_

He suddenly was quiet.

_)I assume that's your doing?(_

_*You're welcome.*_

I leaned against the wall, trying to look like I was just observing the going-ons. I turned my attention inward.

_)Ok, advice?(_

_*Chocolate and Flowers go a long way.*_

_)Hah hah. But seriously, why is she mad?(_

_*What?*_

_)What did I do to piss her off?(_

_*You lied. About almost everything.*_

_)I had to!(_

_*Don't get defensive. She's the one that's mad, not me.*_

_)Oh, yeah, sorry… So how do I get back on her good side?(_

_*Have you tried talking to her about it?*_

_)She's been avoiding me the last couple days. She only went out in the Mako the time I didn't because I was exhausted with my Biotics. Wait a minute, Iron was doing something then, wasn't he?(_

_*Probably.*_

_)I swear I'm going to kill that son of a bitch.(_

_(But you will not, because that would be a form of, suicide.)_

_)That's the worse Jeff Dunham impression ever.(_

_*Just be quiet Iron. My advice would be to apologize.*_

_(My advice is to shoot her.)_

_)Wow, you aren't even trying to be sane today.(_

_( I didn't say kill her, I said shoot her to get her attention.)_

_)Ok, sorry Hero, but I'm ending this.(_

I forced them out of my head.

"Ash?"

She pointedly ignored me.

"Look, I know you're mad, and you have good reason to be."

"Yes, I do." She turned to me, and I could see that she seriously mad. "Why? Why all the lies? If I can't trust you with your own name, how can I trust you about anything else?"

I didn't need Hero to know I should tread carefully. "I didn't know at the time, and there wasn't a good moment later on. I was in a place I'd only heard of, fighting Geth, which hadn't been seen in generations." It terrified me how easily the lies and half-truths came. "I was just trying to think on my feet and avoid looking like an escapee from a nut house."

She crossed her arms, but I could see I had scored a few points. "Maybe."

"I'm sorry. But as time went on, it just seemed better to keep it under wraps."

I sighed. "Then Iron showed up and all hell broke loose. More questions than ever, and I still don't have all the answers."

She looked at me oddly.

"What?"

"You've changed a lot from the unconfident guy you were when I first met you."

I raised an eyebrow. "I've changed? You were keeping an eye on me like you expected me to be Geth. You only softened up when you saw how funny and charming I am." I grinned.

As expected, she slugged my shoulder, but thankfully not the bruised one. "You jerk." But she was smiling as she said it.

"I prefer to use the term 'annoying.'"

She rolled her eyes. "At least you're honest about it."

I shook my head.

"Ok, I guess I forgive you this time." She said after a moment.

I cleared my throat. "You know, I was going to pick up some guns, ammo, that sort of thing, but since you're the one that actually maintains them-"

"Are you… asking me out?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, just occurs to me that the closest we ever did was that barfight I got into. Shepard's been dragging us all over the place, so we haven't really had any time to talk."

_(You are so pathetic. What's she going to tell you that you don't already know?)_

_)Friday, Friday, gotta get down_(_

_)Ok! I'll shut up!(_

_*It isn't that bad of a song.*_

_)Please tell me you're kidding.(_

I pushed them away. "Just offering. But if you're still mad… I understand." I spun back towards the elevator.

"I'm… Ok, maybe I am still a little mad, but that happens. At least you were smart enough to talk about it. If you'd waited any longer, I'd probably have just punched you in the face and never talked to you again."

I sent a long stream of thanks to Hero. "I'll take what I can get at this point."

She turned to her locker. "Maybe we can grab drinks at Flux afterward."

"Sure."

She turned to me. "One thing though… if you don't know your real name…"

"I might as well stick with Jason Bourne." I smiled. "Besides, I've gotten used to hearing it."

_(Blech. )_

_)Oh shut up Iron.(_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, next chapter should (emphasis on should) be the last chapter before Noveria. <strong>

**I'm going to be out of town all weekend, so there's no way I'm going to be able to crank out that whole section.**

**I tell you what though, I've got some ideas for what's going to happen on the citadel, but if you have anything you'd like to see, let me know. **

**BUT NOT ROMANCE PAIRING IDEAS. I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING WHEN FOR THAT.**

**Until next time, Keelah Selai.**


	54. Will these morons never learn?

**I don't own Mass Effect, or Shepard would have more than 5 outfits throughout the entire second game. Kasumi or someone really needs to drag her to a mall. **

**Ok, I started this chapter ages ago and never got around to finishing it. But I figure 8 chapters is a long enough wait to actually post it. Besides, I have a small amount of Writer's block on how to finish the story, so I figured this was a good way to pass the time. **

* * *

><p>It was lucky I had swallowed my mouthfull of beer, or I would have spewed it all over the table laughing.<p>

"She rammed his head into a freaking tree?"

Ashley smiled. "Didn't have a scratch on her."

I shook my head. Hearing it in person made it that much funnier, even if I had heard it before. "She's definitely your sister. Note to self, never, ever piss off Ash or her relatives."

A flash of movement to my right caught my attention, but it was just a serviceman passing out from one too many drinks. _Jeez, did the entire crew decide on Flux?_

_(Quit being so jumpy.)_

_)I've been in two bar fights in here already. Not eager for a third.(_

_*You'll excuse me if I don't entire believe that.*_

_)Ok, not wanting a third while I'm on a date.(_

_*That's a little more honest.*_

I looked around, and half the crew of the Normandy was here. But Shepard and Liara were noticeably absent. Shepard had finally been really hit by what happened to Kaiden.

According to rumor, his last words to her before leaving were that he wished things could have gone differently.

The Alliance would pay for his rehabilitation and disability pay, but his life would still be much worse.

I heaved a sigh without fully realizing it.

"Jason?"

"Sorry Ash, I was just thinking."

"About Alenko?"

I nodded.

"It wasn't your fault. You know that."

I accepted her words without comment, figuring that the attempt at reassuring might at least make her feel better. But I knew them as lies.

The clubs Music was suddenly drowned out by loud booming laughter from Wrex. I was amazed that even he could drink so much Ryncol and stay somewhat sober.

_The way my luck's been going, I wouldn't be surprised if he got drunk, started shooting up the bar, and I had to be the idiot that stopped him._

_(Emphasis on idiot.)_

_*Do you insult him after every thought?*_

_(Not every thought. Only 99.9999999999999999-)_

_)We get the idea.(_

_(9999999 Percent.)_

_*Yeah, thanks for clearing that up.*_

I decided to change the subject. "Wait, is that who you were talking to comm channel that one time?" I smiled. "You know, the one that called me the-"

"I thought we agreed to never speak of that again."

"I don't remember any such thing. And my memory is almost perfect."

"It was a nonverbal agreement."

"Uh-huh."

She rolled her eyes. "So how about you talk for a bit?"

"What?"

"You've been just listening to me for the past half hour. Anything interesting about yourself?"

I laughed. "I wish I had some boring story to tell you." My smile faded. "But I guess there's a price for everything. Get the superpowers, lose the memories."

Her smile faded as well. "Oh. Right."

There was a pungent silence.

_(Wow, way to break the mood Romeo.)_

_)Says the guy that suggested I shoot her when she was refusing to talk to me.(_

_*He has a point.*_

_(I'd like to give him a point. Right in the eye.)_

_)That's my line!(_

I blocked out the psycho.

Ash shrugged with an awkward half smile. "Guess that sort of killed the mood."

There was suddenly a loud crash as Wrex passed out on the floor.

We stared at him a moment.

"I don't care what Shepard says, someone besides me is carrying him back."

"Is that so Bourne?"

_Oh you have got to be kidding me._

I turned to see Shepard standing behind me with a small smirk.

"Well, he's heavy enough when he isn't full of beer." I said, trying to backtrack.

Shepard sighed and sat down. "Well, Krogan can heal from a lot. Maybe he'll be back on his feet by the time we leave."

I laughed. "You assume anyone will be able to walk by the time we're leaving."

_*You even think about getting super drunk…*_

_(Oh relax a little. He's had two beers, including that one. That's barely enough to-)_

_*Oh? Do you want him spilling all our secrets, then Cerberus or someone captures him and dissects him to figure out how we tick?*_

Iron went quiet.

I frowned and pushed my drink a little farther away. "Huh, now I think about it, wonder what my tolerance for the stuff is. With all the modifications and whatnot."

"I still would not recommend risking it Bourne." Liara's voice startled me as she sat next to Shepard.

_Ok, maybe I should cut myself off now. Last thing I need is to be surprised by some assassin or something._

I laughed. "I could say the same about you two. B Because I just know that Joker would film it and there's nothing even Shepard could threaten him with to-" I cut off as Shepard hit me full on with her death glare.

"Geez, tough crowd." I muttered, trying to wave a waitress over. _Yep, time to switch to water._

_(You're going to be feeling that tomorrow. Hahahahahahaha!)_

I didn't even bother telling him to shut up.

"So, what were you two doing?" Shepard asked.

Ash shrugged. "I was just telling him about one of my sisters."

"I SAID GET ME A DRINK!" a familiar voice said. I turned, already sliding a knife from my pocket on instinct.

_*You have got to be kidding me. What happened to be avoiding a fight?*_

Sure enough, it was the same Batarian as before.

_) I guess he didn't get the lesson the first time. ( _I sighed. "I'll be right back." I said, pushing away my chair.

"LISTEN TO ME YOU STUPID TWO EYES!" The guy was yelling so loud I barely even had to try to be stealthy to get behind him. The Waitress looked terrified, for good reason.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

I whistled, startling him, and he spun around. I smiled. "It's not who you are that matters, it's who I am."

"BACK OFF HUMAN! THIS DOESN'T CONCERN-" I cut him off with a kick right in the fork of his legs. He made a very satisfying groan as he doubled over.

_(Dude! That's just cold!)_

_)It's payback for when he did it.(_

_(But still…. Eh, you should have used Biotics. That would have been better.)_

_) God damnit! Why didn't I think of that?(_

_*Why did it have to be me getting stuck here? Why couldn't it have been Blade?*_

I crossed my arms. "Word of advice. Next time you fight a Spectre, don't do that to him. Because then he'll hold a grudge and do it to you."

He looked up, tears welling in the corner of all four eyes. I saw recognition dawn on his face.

"You." His voice was low, but filled with more anger than it had been before. "You're the one that ruined me. My reputation is gone. I'll kill you!"

He went for his gun, but I planted my knife in his arm before it even got close. He yelled, his arm now hanging uselessly at this side.

"Uh huh. Tell you what. If you give up now, I'll just have C-sec arrest you. If you keep fighting, I'll beat you senseless, then have C-sec arrest you." I said, cocking my head to the left again.

He growled and went to do an eye gouge, but I just slapped his arm away. _Geez, this guy is totally out of it._ I barely pushed him and he stumbled back.

_*Like I said, if you ever get that drunk-*_

_)We have to go to Noveria tomorrow, why would I be dumb enough to risk a hang-over?(_

_(With you, it wouldn't surprise me.)_

"So that's how you want to play it." I said, flaring my fingers out.

Getting hit in one eye would hurt. Getting hit in both eyes would be excruciating. But when a guy gets hit in four eyes with four Biotically powered fingers- I had never heard anybody scream so loud.

He fell to the ground, clutching at his face.

I actually felt sorry for him. So I lifted him off the ground with my Biotics, then slammed him head first into the ground, knocking him out.

I wiped my hands together like I was cleaning mud off of them. "That was almost too easy."

"Then maybe you'll have more fun with me." A new voice behind me said. I rolled to the side, already drawing my pistol. I narrowly avoided a Headbutt from the giant Krogan, in the same style of armor as the Batarian. _Why are Krogan always trying to kill me? Why can't it be something less hard to kill? Like if every salarian ever had a death wish against me, that I could do. But Krogan are just a pain._

"Back off unless you want to end up like him."

"You aren't so tough human."

"You sure act confident for a guy with a hole in his head."

His face twisted in confusion. "Did you have too much to drink? Krogan don't have holes in their heads."

"And if you want to keep it that way, I suggest you leave before I lost my temper."

_*Ok, that was actually pretty good.*_

_(You've definitely had worse lines. Way worse.)_

He just laughed, and ran at me. I barely even had to aim, and my explosive rounds tore through his head. His corpse stumbled to the ground inches from my feet.

"Hey, I warned you."

I noticed a group of different species, also in blue suns armor. I glared in their direction, stopping a few in their tracks.

"Listen up. I've had a long day. I'm not in the mood to fight. And if I do fight, you'll end up like him. But if you think you're tough enough, I'm more than happy to prove you wrong." I flared my Biotics for emphasis. Most of them scrambled for the door.

A few didn't, but they were clearly drunk. I shook my head and holstered my gun.

"You really shouldn't have done that." I turned around, biotics forming a barrier around me.

_What does it take to keep this guy down?_

_(Have to give him credit for persistence.)_

The guy was holding his hand over three of his eyes, clearly still in pain. He glared at me with his remaining eye, though it was still swollen half shut.

"If you have any brains at all…then again, if you had brains at all, you wouldn't have done a repeat of last time. But if you don't want to end up just as dead as him, I suggest you give up"

He laughed. "That's the nice thing. I don't have anything left to lose." He sprinted over to the bar, leaping over the counter. My gun flew into my hand, but he was moving too fast for me to hit. He grabbed the waitress, pushing her head into the counter and pinning it there with his gun.

"She, on the other hand… If you don't want to see her die, drop the gun."

_Crap crap crap crap crap._

_*Ok, just stay calm."_

"I SAID DROP THE GUN!"

I swore, but I lowered the gun, and slid it towards him on the floor.

"Now, stay right there. And if I see any Biotics, I paint the bar with her brains."

I narrowed my eyes, but I kept my Biotics in check. "And if you do, I'll force feed you a singularity. I'd like to see you bounce back from that."

He laughed, and I realized that he had gone completely insane. I had dealt enough with Iron to recognize symptoms.

_(Oh come on, I would never do that! I would have killed her way before now. Actually, I would have started killing everyone by now. Probably do them in order, maybe tallest to shortest. Or by age. But then I'd have to do all the Asari first or all of them last, and then I'd look racist. But I'm not, I like killing all races equally.)_

So he wasn't nearly as crazy as Iron, but he was still a threat.

"Didn't you hear what I said about having nothing left to lose? But if I can beat you, I get my respect back. I get my life back. So, here's what's going to happen. You're going to use your Spectre Status to procure a ransom for her. " He laughed harshly again. "Oh, you are just pathetic. You are completely in my power now."

_)Wow. Having a hostage really goes to a guy's head.(_

_*Will you focus?*_

_)What the hell can I do? Knives are useless at this range without Biotics, and he'd see me grabbing one anyway.(_

_*Improvise. If you can distract him, maybe you can throw a glass or something at him.*_

I nodded, still trying to figure a way out.

"Oh Bourne, you are so weak. I don't know how-" His words were cut off by a sudden explosion of blood and brain matter originating from where his head used to be, and by the waitress' scream. I followed the trajectory back to my table, and to Shepard.

"That's why he has me as backup." She commented, holstering her smoking Pistol.

The Waitress looked at the corpse and passed out.

"Well, we can't all be crack shots like you." I justified, biotically retrieving my pistol. "And why'd you have to kill him?"

"I would have liked to avoid it, but only wounding him would have been-"

"No, I mean that I wanted to kill him. That bastard was starting to get on my nerves."

She groaned. "Why can't I just have one night without you getting in a fight?"

"You're the one that joined us, not the other way around. You could have gone to Chora's den instead."

She glared at me.

"Wow, I didn't even think about it that time. But it's not like the girls in here are dressed much differently than the Asari over there."

"You're just digging yourself deeper."

"I'll shut up now."

Fhflff

Shepard sighed, while Bourne laughed at his own joke.

"Bourne, that isn't even remotely true."

"That's sort of the whole point."

"I just want you to know that I realize you're a little buzzed, which is why I'm not punching you for saying that."

"Geez, don't you ever crack a smile?"

"Not from your jokes."

"Oh, I'm wounded."

"You should probably have Chakwas look at that then." Ash said with a smile.

Bourne laughed even harder at that, and Shepard fought back another sigh.

Ashley and Bourne were clearly… Shepard couldn't quite think of what it was. Not that they didn't seem to love each other, but something said that Bourne was hesitant about it somehow. Shepard didn't understand how that could be, considering how Bourne seemed to broadcast it to the squad.

_Maybe it's because of the rules against that sort of relationship?_ But that still didn't seem right. Bourne wouldn't care about something like that. And Shepard hadn't quite said it outright, but he seemed to know that she wouldn't report it. Privately, Shepard had never understood the rule. Knowing that you could rely on someone so deeply had probably saved lives. Shepard had seen it a few times.

But on the other hand, the loss that could happen… Shepard often had nightmares about losing Liara. God, she had nightmares about almost everyone she'd lost, and she hadn't been in love with them.

_I guess that's just the life of a marine._

"Earth to Shepard. Or I guess, Citadel, to Shepard. You still there?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "What, I can't think about something without you butting in?"

"Depends on what you were thinking."

"Bourne, if you crack one more joke like that-"

"Wow, two unintentional jokes in one night. That must be a record."

"If you keep talking, You'll set a record for most bones broken in one minute by a friend."

"Well with a friend like you, who needs enemies?"

"And yet you've gotten into a fight every time you've been in here."

Bourne scowled, but he didn't argue.

"And come to think of it, you were actually the one that started this fight."

He kept scowling, and Shepard realized he was looking behind her.

She turned, but didn't immediately see what Bourne was glaring at.

"Looks like she got a new camera." Bourne muttered. Shepard then noticed the floating drone, and the annoying woman standing nearby.

"Did I miss something?" Ashley said, looking between the two.

"Short version: She pissed me off when she interviewed us. So I punched a hole through her camera. If she comes over here…"

As if summoned by the unfinished threat, the reporter turned their way, and recognition dawned on her face.

"Why did I have to go and jinx myself like that?" Bourne muttered.

"For the record Bourne, as long as you don't kill her, I'm probably fine with it." Shepard said, remembering how the bitch had gotten to her. Shepard had only frozen like that a handful of times, but never in the public eye.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"It also can't be too permanent."

"Ok, I can still work with that." Bourne shrugged, seeming to resign himself to having this conversation.

"Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, westerlund news."

"Yeah, I know. Is that a new camera?" Shepard said with a small smile. Her eyes though, were saying "Back off before you get hurt."

Al-Jilani glanced at Bourne, who seemed to be bored. Shepard could tell he was really just trying to keep from punching her or something.

"Yes. But that's in the past. I'm more curious about what happened just now. Could I have a few words?"

Bourne chuckled. "I'll give you two: Get lost."

"Now now Bourne, that sounds like censorship to me."

"No, I'm just being uncooperative. Censorship would be… well, it's complicated, but let's just say it would be less fun for you than for me. It would also hurt you more than me. Well, actually, it wouldn't hurt me at all. Unless I'm somehow allergic to your blood. Then I might get hurt."

She backed away a few steps.

Shepard sighed. "I'm willing to answer a few questions, but when I decide it's over, it's over."

"Yeah, see how long that lasts." Bourne muttered. "Just tell me when you want me to-"

"Bourne…"

"Fine, fine. Offer stands though."

She activated the camera, zooming in on Shepard's face. "Commander, less than an hour ago, you and your partner each shot and killed people that appeared to be innocent bystanders. Is this the sort of response the Alliance can expect from Spectres?"

Shepard glanced at Bourne. His eyes were glowing, and almost locked onto the reporter's face like he wanted to punch it in. Not that Shepard could really blame him.

"Might want to check your facts there." Bourne said, faking a smile, and somehow looking like he didn't want to kill her. "First off, I'd dealt with that same Batarian before. I warned him last time. His fault for not learning his Lesson. As for the Krogan, he attacked me."

"So you feel justified using lethal force for such small matters."

"Oh cut the crap. We all know you're just trying to make us look bad as revenge for last time." Bourne said, losing the fake smile.. "How you even still have a job there is beyond me."

"Bourne, you aren't helping." Shepard hissed.

"Relax Shepard, her camera's been off since she got over here."

"What?" Everyone at the table echoed.

"There's a button on the side to turn it off. A little bit of Biotics, and boom. She just wasted her own time."

"That's easy enough to correct." The reporter sneered, turning the camera on.

"Whatever."

Bourne's eyes glowed again, and this time Shepard caught the subtle movement on the side of the machine.

But Al-Jilani noticed as well. Glaring at him, she activated the machine.

"You know I'm not going to give up so easily?"

"Lady, you're talking to the king of being stubborn."

"I see. Am I also speaking to the king of lack of restraint?"

"Depends on how I feel that day."

"Well, considering the double murder you just committed-"

"Actually, since I was exercising my authority as a Spectre, not murder. Also, I only killed the Krogan. Shepard's the expert shot that brought down the other one."

"Oh, is that true commander?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Obviously. Bourne can barely hit the broadside of a cruiser."

"That's why I have the Biotics." Bourne said with a small smile.

"No, that's why you have me to watch your back."

"By my count, I've saved your life just as often."

Al-Jilani snapped her fingers, getting their attention. "If I can get back to the interview: What do you have to say about the rumors that you two are in a relationship?"

Shepard and Bourne just stared at her, then at their respective girlfriends.

Then they looked at each other, seeing their shock mirrored on the other's face.

Then they started laughing, Shepard doubling over, and Bourne slamming his fist on the table.

"So is that a yes?" She asked smugly.

They both went instantly to glare mode, Shepard's eyes burning purple, and Bourne's glowing blue.

"No." Shepard said in a tight voice.

"Yeah, Shepard's not my type. The weird glowing purple eyes are sort of a-"

"Excuse me, did you seriously just "Weird glowing eyes?" Because that's seriously hypocritical."

"No, I said "Weird glowing Purple eyes." My weird glowing eyes are blue. And I make it look good."

Ashley laughed, then tried to hide it with a cough.

"Would you care to comment?" The reporter asked, shoving a microphone in her face.

The microphone promptly turned blue and hit her in the eye. She stumbled back cursing.

Shepard turned the full force of her death glare on her fellow Spectre. "Bourne…"

"It was not me that time."

"You'll forgive me for being skeptical."

"Yeah, guess I have to. If I didn't know better, I'd be blaming me too."

"Who else could it be?"

Bourne suddenly seemed very interested in his drink, which he hadn't touched in almost an hour. And he was deliberately not looking at… _The only other Biotic at this table._

Shepard couldn't help it, she looked at Liara, who seemed to be trying to hide a smile that was both guilty and triumphant.

But the bitch noticed it too. Still holding her rapidly blackening eye, she turned to her, focusing the camera on her.

Shepard felt a cold hand grip her stomach. She wasn't embarrassed about being with Liara, but many people weren't quite so accepting. She was one of the people humanity looked up to, but how would mothers react to their children admiring… well, Bourne was right about that monogendered explanation being total BS.

"You seem awfully quick to defend Shepard. Care to comment?"

"Not to you, no." Liara asked in a voice surprisingly strong.

"It seems too strong to be coincidence that you were also with Commander Shepard during the last interview."

"If you're trying say something, just say it." Shepard growled.

"Well, I've heard from a few inside sources that you're in a relationship with someone on the ship. And since it isn't Bourne..." She trailed off, smiling in satisfaction. "Imagine how the Alliance will take this."

Bourne chuckled.

"Would you like to comment Bourne?"

". I turned your camera off again when she smacked you with that microphone. But just turning if off is getting Boring."

His gun was in his hand in an instant, blowing apart the camera with an explosive shot.

"There, that's better. Hmm, three me, camera zero. But if you want to have a rematch sometime, just let me know." He holstered his gun, turning back to his drink.

"You son of a bitch!" She yelled, drawing back a fist, and sending towards Bourne's face.

His own fist swung up to intercept it. His other fist went right into her gut. She doubled over, gasping for breath.

"You know the nice thing about that? You attacked me, the Spectre, so there's literally nothing you can do about that. Hell, I could have Youarrested if I wanted to."

"Bourne, normally, I'd yell at you, but I can make an exception today."

He stood up, towering over the still in pain reporter. "Yeah, and I normally don't hit women. But I make an exception for reporters. And Hypocrites."

"Excuse me?" She gasped, still doubled over.

"You heard me." Bourne said, lifting her into the air Biotically.

"What are you doing?"

"You clearly didn't the message last time." He said, watching her float slowly towards the ceiling.

"Bourne, stop. This is too far." Shepard said, standing up and putting her hand on his shoulder.

"You said nothing permanent physically." He said as she began to fall. She screamed as she fell, and Shepard felt her adrenaline kick in.

"But you never said anything about mental." Bourne said, stopping the Reporter only inches from the ground.

He lifted her in front of him again. "I hope you get the message this time. Next time I might not be able to stop you in time. And you'd make a big mess if that happened."

He let her fall, sending her falling on her ass. "And let me be perfectly clear. You mess with Shepard, you mess with me. And messing me, is a mistake."

"You son of a bitch. I'm making sure your career is over. Someone here would be willing to testify."

"I'm a Spectre. Even the best Asari lawyer wouldn't be dumb enough to touch that case. And besides…" he trailed off, laughing. "Well, let's just say I know I could get a certain vid from the Shadow Broker that would ruin your own career. Hypocrite."

"You're bluffing."

"You really want to try it, go ahead. Worse comes to worse, I can always go with plan B and just kill you."

The reporter blanched. "You're insane."

"Whose really the insane one here? The one making threats, or the stupid bitch ignoring the threats?"

She got up, and brushed herself off. "You might have won this round-"

"Will you just get lost before I decide to just shoot you? Cause that's starting to seem like a better option all the time." He sighed, sitting back now. "God, I need a drink."

* * *

><p><strong>And here it is, a little late. But I've been trying to work this out for weeks, and when inspiration hit, I said, why not?<strong>

**Next actually chapter should be out soon. Weekend at the latest I hope. Then I can go back to the beginning. I'm completely changing it. As in deleting the first chapter and completely redoing without anything staying the same. And maybe doing that in a few other places, though I'm trying not to pull a George Lucas and completely undermine the whole story.**

**Which is hypocritical, since I'm glad Bioware is sort of doing that to the end. But let's face it, we all are.**


	55. Noveria

**Ok, last chapter I said there'd be another inbetween Chapter on the Citadel. But a combination of Writer's Block, the ME3 demo, and simply not caring as much means that I've decided to skip it for now. Consider it a missing chapter, a "deleted scene" if you will. Or just think of it as you missing the last episode of a Tv show. Point is, I know what happened and they'll mention bits of it, I just haven't written it yet.**

**I'll finish it and put in it later, but for now, moving on to Hoth. Oh, Wait, wrong series. That's why I don't own Mass Effect.**

* * *

><p>Shepard sighed. "You know, I've seen you do some stupid things Bourne, but getting drunk knowing we had a mission today? And knowing that you'd then have a hangover on said mission?"<p>

"Hey, after that damn reporter showed up again, I needed to get drunk. You think she'd have learned not to piss me off after last time, when I put a fist through her camera. Besides, it isn't that bad of a headache."

_(Says you.)_

_)See? That's why it's not so bad. I know you're suffering too.(_

_*Ugh, you are never, ever drinking again.*_

_)Ok, a little guilty now, but I'll live.(_

_(If I have a say in it, no you won't.)_

"You beat her over the head with her camera, then smashed it to bits, then threatened to spread a rumor about her."

"Isn't that what she wanted to do with you? Start spreading around that you and Liara are together?"

"But it's true in our case, even if I'd rather keep it under wraps. You were just making stuff up."

I chuckled. "Actually, I wasn't."

She stopped short. "Wait, seriously?"

"She swings for Asari at least. And that's from a source I know is accurate."

Shepard just shook her head. "Well, at least your knowledge finally came in handy for something."

"So who are we taking today then?"

"Well, you already said we should take Wrex, though you didn't tell me why."

"Believe me, you'll be glad we brought him along." I looked around again, making sure no one else was around. Though since I had passed out in my cabin last night until now, it seemed a bit redundant. "As for the others, since Ash drank as much as I did, she'd probably better stay here."

Shepard frowned. "I'll have to talk to her about that."

I met her gaze, though the glowing purple didn't exactly help my headache. "You know as well as I do why everyone got so wasted."

Her face darkened. "If you had told me about what would happen ahead of time, Alenko would still be here instead of offloaded to an Alliance Medical facility."

My Biotics flared slightly. "I've already explained my choice. And considering that we need to work together, a lack of trust isn't the best idea."

She sighed. "Ok, you have a point."

"And for the record, Garrus drank twice as much as Ash and I combined."

"He's a got a higher tolerance as a Turian, that's different."

I frowned. "Man, I hope Wrex doesn't have a hangover or he's going to be pissed."

_(Yeah, nothing helps a hangover like a race of giant bugs that are supposed to be extinct.)_

_)Will you shut up?(_

_(And I might be the craziest, but you aren't acting sane either.)_

_*Sigh. What are you rambling about now?*_

_(He got a little bruise and pretended like it was life threating so Dino-lady wouldn't drag him anywhere. Now he's got the worse hangover any of the three of us have ever had, and he's going to fight?)_

_*Yeah, it says a lot that I'd do the same, yet you're known as the crazy one among us.*_

_)Seriously, how messed up must you be to hold that title?(_

"Focus Bourne. Who else should we take?"

I thought about if a moment. "Honestly, I'd say the best choice is Liara."

Shepard's face got that old look for a moment, before she relented. "Ok, why?"

"For god's sake Shepard, she isn't a doll that needs to be surrounded by soft foam to keep from braking!" I put a hand to my forehead, my own yelling not helping. "And Benezia is her mother. That might be helpful. Low possibility, but It's worth a shot."

_(No it isn't. You know as well as I do that she's going to end up dead.)_

_) I know. But Liara deserves to be there. And more than that, I want all the Biotics I can get against Rachni.(_

_*Can you please stop arguing? And put on some sunglasses or something?*_

I laughed despite myself.

Shepard looked at me like I was crazy. Though it wasn't that undeserved.

"Iron and Hero are complaining because I gave them a hangover too."

She crossed her arms. "Get your armor on, then go talk to Chakwas. You aren't watching my back like you are now."

_You let Alenko watch your back even when he got those migranes. _ I refrained from saying it though. It was too soon.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, I stepped out of the airlock feeling much better. <em>Guess this isn't the first time Chakwas has had to deal with hungover marines.<em>

_(Can you explain why you two feel so much better, but I'm still feeling it?)_

_)Karma.(_

_*Or because now it's just me putting pressure on you so you still feel the same.*_

_(What happened to you being the Paragon?)_

_*You got on my bad side.*_

_)Note to self. Don't piss you off.(_

_*Good idea.*_

_(I hate both of you.)_

_*We hate you right back.*_

_)Oh yeah, definitely.(_

I shook my head, catching up with Shepard in the lead.

I suddenly realized how cold it was, and was glad Chakwas had given me something to help. If she hadn't, I'd been moaning and groaning the entire mission.

As we got closer to the doors, we were met by a small squad of marines; I quickly counted, and came up with ten.

_(That's way more than when I was here.)_

_*Maybe because Bourne is here too?*_

_(With his luck, probably.)_

I ignored Iron and Hero, and started picking targets for if came to a fight. I could see Wrex was doing the same behind me.

"That's close enough." The one clearly in charge said.

"Relax. We aren't here to cause trouble." Shepard said.

I, on the other hand, slid a few concealed knives into each hand, grateful that I'd restocked on the citadel when I had the chance.

"This is an unscheduled visit. I need to see your credentials."

I glanced up, waiting for Parasini to break it up. "You first." I stated.

The blonde next to her glared at me. "We're the law here. Show some respect."

Her voice sent knives into my ears. _Guess that stuff didn't work so well after all._

_(Or she's just that annoying.)_

Her boss sent a glance telling her to stand down. "I'm Captain Matsuao. Elanus Risk Control Services. This is Sgt. Stirling, my second in command"

Shepard looked me with that look at usually meant she was going to do something horrible to me. "I'm Commander Shepard, and this is _Lt._ Bourne."

_Ok, apparently she's mad about yesterday._

_(You think?)_

I snarled. "That's _Agent_ Bourne, _Spectre_. You should have just said that first Shepard. And mentioned that you're a Spectre too."

Stirling snorted. "Load of Horsecrap."

My eyes glowed dangerously. "You really shouldn't talk about your face like that. It isn't good for your self-esteem."

_(Ok, I have to give you credit, that was a nice way to turn it around.)_

_)Thanks.(_

_(I was being sarcastic you idiot! That was the worse comeback I've ever heard.)_

_)I'm hungover here! It isn't easy to think of insults, Give me a break.(_

_*If you keep doing things like that, Stirling is going to give you a break. In your arm.*_

_)Please, I eat punks like her for breakfast.(_

_(Is that what you and As-)_

_)Friday, Friday, Gotta get down-(_

_(ARGGH! It's even worse with a Hangover! I didn't think that that was possible!)_

_*Stop pissing him off then!*_

_)Oh, that was a bad idea. There must be something that isn't as annoying to me, but is still annoying to you.(_

"We will need to confirm that." The Captain said. "Also, I should advise you that weapons aren't permited on Noveria. Sgt. Stirling, secure their weapons."

"Gladly." She said, moving forward.

I flared my Biotics and popped the blade on my knives, holding them ready to throw.

I heard Wrex unfolding his shotgun behind me. "Don't even try it." He said, aiming at them.

I smiled. "No, go ahead and do. Please. I could use the entertainment."

Everyone but the captain suddenly had a weapon aimed at the two of us.

"Bourne, stand down." Shepard said forcefully.

"I know what I'm doing Shepard."

She stepped back a few feet, not doing wonders for my confidence. Liara did the same, eying us all warily.

"Charge and lock." Stirling said to her team.

"I'll make you a deal. I give you all my knives, then I step over your body and walk in unscathed." I activated my Biotic Barrier.

The Captain made one last effort to stop it. "We are authorized to use lethal force."

"So am I. Perks of being a Spectre. And believe you me, I've taken down a lot more, and a lot tougher than you morons." My eyes never left Stirling, and her weapon never left me.

Wrex flared his Biotics next to me.

"You have to the count of three to relinquish your weapons." The Captain said, resigning herself. "One, two,"

On cue, a voice came over the intercom and stopped me from launching a few knives. "Captain, stand down!"

_(Damn, I actually wanted to see a fight.)_

_*Why?*_

_(I'm "Crazy", remember?)_

_)Yeah, we know.(_

I glanced at the opposition. "Again, you really should listen."

"We confirmed their identity. Spectres are authorized to carry weapons here."

I sheathed and stored the knives, keeping my Biotics ready. "Glad that we got that settled." I shook my head. "Honestly, how is that everyone on the Citadel knew Shepard and I were Spectres within five minutes, but out here it's been over two weeks and you didn't know?"

"Don't push your luck." Stirling said, glaring at me, but lowering her weapon.

I just smiled, letting my powers fade.

"You may proceed Spectre. I hope the rest of your visit is less confrontational."

I was suddenly aware of Shepard's death glare, so I bit back what I had been about to say in response.

"Parasini-san will meet you upstairs."

"Behave yourself." Stirling warned.

"Don't worry, he will. I'll make sure of it." Shepard growled, pushing me through the door.

I tried to head up the stairs, but she pushed me to the side towards a bunch of terminals.

"Wrex, Liara, can you excuse us for a minute?" She said through gritted teeth.

They quickly fled her presence, and I wished I could do the same.

_)Say, Iron, any chance you could let me do a charge past her?(_

_(You're one your own pal.)_

_*Word of advice: don't argue with anything she says. It'll only piss her off more.*_

_)Well that's just great. You guys are a lot of help.(_

"Bourne, you have about five seconds to explain yourself."

"We got through, didn't we?"

"You nearly got us into a fire fight!"

"No, you and Liara weren't involved. They were aiming at Wrex and I, and I never told him to-"

She slapped me, sending pain shooting through my skull.

"Oh come on!"

"I don't care if you're hungover, I don't care if you broke every bone in your body, that is not the way we operate!"

"Believe me, that slap was punishment enough." I muttered, my head still ringing.

_*You know, it'll be interesting to see what she can do with an Omni-blade if she can hit like that.*_

_(Yeah, interesting. Also, OWWWWWWWW! Don't let her do that again!)_

"For the rest of this mission, you're following my lead. Got it?"

I sighed. "You have no faith in me at all, you know that? I knew that someone'd come over the intercom and defuse the situation." I grimaced.

Shepard threw her arms in the air. "Oh, great. So you were just making enemies because you could?"

"Did you really think I was just going to let them take our weapons?" I smiled. "Do you know how long it would take me to remove every single knife? Or put them back on?"

My smile quickly disappeared as she managed to tower over me, despite that we were the same height. "Don't push me Bourne."

"Jeez, did you drink too much last night too?"

"No. I lost a good friend, who will now never walk again."

"You think I don't know that?" I said quietly. "In case you forgot Shepard, I actually risked myself to save him. It was nobody's fault what happened."

_(Bull.)_

_)Would you rather she slapped me again, or rather I half-lied and avoided that?(_

_ *I would rather you avoided that.*_

_(Yeah, even I aint that crazy.)_

She glared at me a moment more, but then she relented. "Fair point. Just do me a favor and stop trying to kill everyone that we meet?"

"Deal."

We proceed up the stairs, me doing my best not to groan at my aching head.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

_I don't want to shoot him, I don't want to shoot him, I don't want to shoot him, ok, I want to shoot him but I won't._

Shepard's hand dropped to her pistol as alarms went off everywhere.

A woman in a red dress walked to the desk. "Weapons detectors, don't mind them."

"Yeah, because I was really worried about them." Bourne said sarcastically.

Shepard sent him a glare, and he wisely shut his mouth.

"I'm Giana Parasini, assistant to Administrator Anoleis. I apologize for the incident in the docking bay."

"Did someone piss in her Ryncol this morning?" Wrex rumbled.

"Who drinks Ryncol first thing in the morning? Well, maybe you would, but…" Bourne chuckled.

"You know what I mean Bourne."

"The Captain takes her job seriously." Parasini stated. "One of my jobs is orientation of new arrivals. Do you have any questions?"

"Lot of security for a small port." Wrex muttered. "Care to explain?"

"The executive board does everything in-"

"Spare us the corporate BS." Bourne interrupted. "I have bigger things to do than investigate a few small cooperate secrets." He crossed his arms, face blank and unreadable.

Shepard could tell his head ache was bugging him. She'd reprimanded far too many subordinates to be fooled so easily. To anyone else though, he would have been the perfect actor.

"Anyone of interest pass though lately?" He asked.

"Of interest? An Asari matriarch passed through a few days ago."

"Benezia?" he said, not a question.

"Yes, that was her name."

Liara tensed beside Shepard. "Benezia? She is here?"

"So where is she now?" Bourne continued.

"She left for the peak fifteen complex days ago. To the best of my knowledge, she's still there."

"Then I guess that's where we're headed next."

"You'll need to ask Administrator Anoleis for clearance to leave this port."

Bourne snorted. "Clearance? Maybe you missed that whole discussion in the docking bay, but Shepard and I are Spectres. We don't need 'clearance.'"

"Bourne, you've already almost gotten us kicked out once, so maybe you should let me handle this." Shepard interupted, irritated.

"I'm just saying. Isn't that the whole point of having a special tatics and recon branch in the first place? What's to stop us from just-"

Shepard ignored him. "Where can we find the administrator?"

"He's on the main level. Left at the top of the elevator. If you need any help, you can ask me at the administrator's office."

Bourne chuckled. "Somehow, I get the feeling it'll be the administrator that'll need help."

Shepard turned to him.

"If Shepard tells me it's ok." He added.

"Good answer."

"Spoilsport."

"Bourne…"

"Shutting up now."

"I imagine you want to talk to me Shepard." Liara broke in hesitantly. "About my mother."

"No, we don't. I trust you Liara, more than almost anyone."

Bourne nodded agreement. "Same thing Shepard said, but without all the- on second thought I've pissed her off enough for one day."

"Yes Bourne, you have."

* * *

><p><strong>Which is why I'm cutting off this chapter here. More should be up soon.<strong>

**Until then, Keelah Selai.**

**And again, especially to you new guys, I'd appreciate reviews and advice. **


	56. Why can't I have a good day for once?

**Wow, 55 chapters. I know I've said this before, but I never thought that I would actually write this much. Or that this many people would enjoy it. So I just want to say thanks. **

**The one thing I sort of regret is that I joined the party late. Everyone else could write their fan-fics not knowing what the third would bring, so they'd have a level of mystery or something; Since there's no way in heck I'm finishing #2 before the third game comes out… I don't know, I just wish I'd started sooner.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. I used to, but then I took an arrow to the knee! Hahahahahahah!**

* * *

><p>"Geez Shepard, I don't know why you're letting it bug you so much."<p>

She wheeled on me so fast, the two guards nearby half raised their guns at her. Luckily for them, they didn't actually get involved.

"Bourne, I am about one more comment from ordering you back to the ship."

"Only one? Guess I'm really pushing my luck today."

"Ok, that's it,"

"Shepard, I got one word why you can't. . Should I spell it?"

"No."

"Just asking."

"As for why it bugs me so much, I had been hoping to keep a lower profile. But since you blatantly told that Hanar that we are Spectres,"

"He already knew, or at least suspected. And I actually had a reason."

Wrex cleared his throat, though it sounded like distant thunder. "Maybe we could discuss this another time? And actually go in and talk to the guy?"

Shepard glared at me, but nodded agreement. "Let me handle this Bourne."

"Ok. But if he won't do cooperate, I'm taking over."

"If I can't get through to him, his ass is yours."

I just stared at her. "Shepard, could you have not said that any other way?"

"You know what I mean."

"I'm just saying, you and Liara may swing either way, but I don't."

Shepard's face turned very red very fast.

"Ok, let me begin my seven part apology by saying that you're a wonderful person,"

"Just shut up and follow me."

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard<strong>

Shepard led the way into the administrator's office, and saw the woman from upstairs sitting at the receptionist's desks.

"How did she beat us down here?" She muttered.

"With how slow the elevators go, and how long you took looking for a better sniper rifle, I'm not all that surprised." Bourne answered in a low voice.

Shepard didn't even bother glaring at him this time. It clearly didn't work on him.

Walking up the front desk, she put on a small formal smile. "I'd like to speak to Administrator Anoleis if he isn't too busy."

She heard a sound like a slap behind her, followed by a groan from Bourne. "Ughh, not to self, don't facepalm for the next few hours. It wasn't worth it that time."

Shepard just rolled her eyes.

"Let me check. Administrator?"

A rushed voice came over the intercom. "Yes, what? What?"

"Commander Shepard…" She looked past Shepard for a moment. "Is here to see you."

She looked behind her to see Bourne making a sign across his throat, telling her not to mention him.

"Right, fine come in." The Administrator said in a bored voice.

Shepard glanced at Bourne. "Why do I get the feeling you two won't get along?"

"Why do you think I didn't want my name mentioned?"

They went in, Shepard already thinking about how to be diplomatic.

That line of thought quickly died as the Administrator opened his mouth. "You'll excuse me if I don't stand up. I have no time to entertain orphans and Mercenaries."

Bourne looked at Shepard, eyes glowing. She sent him back a glare that equally meant no.

"You should also remember that we're Spectres. That's who we're here as." Shepard stated.

" You should also know that I could probably find and break every bone in your body, even the ones you didn't know you had." Bourne said mildly. "But since Shepard already told me not do that, I guess I'm out of luck."

"Charming." The administrator said, unconcerned. "This greeting is a courtesy. I will only cooperate as required by the executive board."

Bourne chuckled darkly. "Tell you what. You just give us what little info we want, and I won't go poking around company secrets. Because I honestly don't care that much, and It'll be sure to ruin your day."

"I will not allow to harass our clients. This world is private property."

Bourne rolled his eyes. "Since you obviously don't care about being formal, neither do I. Benezia. Talk."

"She arrived several days ago accompanied by a personal escort and some cargo. She's up at peak fifteen."

"What do you mean personal escort?" Liara asked.

"The phrase is self-explanatory. Body guards attending to the safety of her person. Mainly Asari commandos."

"You let a bunch of Asari that can kill you with their minds run around freely but give us flack about guns?" Wrex asked, incredulous.

Bourne sighed. "Wrex, you, me and Liara are Biotics too; don't make it sound like they're Ardat-Yakshis or something." He smiled. "After all, Shepard is probably the most dangerous one here, and she doesn't even have Biotics."

Shepard turned back to the Salarian. "What can you tell me about her cargo?"

"Large heavy, and sealed. It passed weapons screening. Beyond that, I have no interest."

"Like the sort that could hold multiple machines?" Bourne asked.

The administrator shrugged. "I suppose so, though I fail to see how that it relevant."

"In our case, I'd say it's plenty relevant." Bourne said, turning to Shepard, searching her face for understanding.

The reason hit Shepard like a thunderbolt. _Geth. _ She crossed her arms, not letting her face change.. "I want to see her. Now."

He smiled mockingly. "I'm afraid I cannot do that. Peak fifteen is a private facility in the mountains. There is also a blizzard, so there is no way to get there."

"Our Mako could make the trip easily."

He nodded. "Yes, I suppose it could. If I gave you a garage pass."

Shepard uncrossed her arms. "Which is why you're going to give us one, right?"

"I will do no such thing. Lady Benezia came here as Saren's executor, and as he is a major shareholder-"

"He's also a wanted criminal. And if Benezia can tell us where he is, I'm talking to her." Bourne said, raising a hand, flaring his Biotics around it. "And if you're getting in the way of Justice, that makes you a criminal. As a Spectre, I can… eliminate criminals."

He laughed. "Even were you so foolish, security would be here within seconds. Now, do you have anything else to ask? Every minute I waste with you costs the company twelve credits. I'm keeping a running tally."

Bourne looked at Shepard, and this time she nodded. _He deserves whatever Bourne does to him now._

He leaned on the desk, smiling. "Ok, I'll level with you. How much for a garage pass? Thousand credits? I have plenty."

The salarian chuckled. "Do you think such a small bribe will make me betray one of our biggest clients?"

"Apparently not." Quick as lightning, he grabbed him by his head horns and slammed him against the desk.

His pistol flew into his hand. "How about a threat then? If you don't give us a garage pass, I will use this gun to remove your brain. Without anesthetic." He pressed the gun to his head, holding him there with the other hand. "Feel like giving it up now?"

"Nice." Wrex commented.

"Do you really think you can get out of here if you shoot me?" The administrator asked.

Bourne cocked his head. "Hmm, you know, that's a good point."

He holstered his gun and unsheathed his shoulder blade. "This is much quieter, and I have to admit, more satisfying. So, where should I start? Any suggestions Wrex? Fingers? Eyes?"

"I've always wanted to see one of those horn things cut off. Never got around to it though."

"If I give you a pass, I'll lose my job. I won't let that happen."

'Bourne's face darkened. "Is that so?"

"Obviously."

He flared his Biotics. "It would be so easy to just kill your right now and take the pass off your body."

He released him and sheathed his blade. " Too easy. I'm a lot of things, but not a cold blooded murderer." He shrugged. "I was going to go easy on you. But then you had to go and piss me off. Now, I'm taking you down. Enjoy the next couple hours. They'll be your last as administrator."

That said, he turned and walked out of the office like he hadn't just threatened him multiple ways.

Shepard turned to him. "Last chance. "

"Don't you humans have someone else to threaten and extort?" he said, picking himself back off the desk. "I still have work to do."

"Lot of backbone for a salarian." Wrex muttered.

"Or he's just an idiot. Come on, let's find Bourne before he tries killing someone else."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne.<strong>

_(You fucking wimp! You could have just killed him, and you didn't! Now think about how much you'll have to do!)_

_)Yeah, like I'm really going to kill him in cold blood. And let you get a hand hold on my brain.(_

_*I hate to agree with him, but maybe eliminating him would be best.*_

_)What?(_

_(What?)_

_*One dead, vs a bunch of cops dead. Simple math.*_

_(You mean dirty cops.)_

_)God, I can't believe I'm saying this, but bronze has a point. And since I just threatened to blow his head off, I don't think just telling him about the Hanar's smuggling would work. Besides, if I don't take him down after all that, I'll look like a wimp.(_

_(Makes sense to me.)_

_*I hope it occurs to that he's agreeing with you. That isn't exactly a good thing.*_

I pushed them away as _Raptor _ Shepard approached me. "Bourne, I really hope you have a backup plan."

"He isn't the only one with a garage pass you know." Parasini said from her desk.

_)It also occurs to me that with the whole reality bending thing, I don't think I can get out of it now. Besides, I want to kill that one Stirling chick or whatever her name was.(_

_(Agreed.)_

_*Seriously, am I the only one seeing something wrong here?*_

"What was that?" Shepard asked.

"You've never worked in the cooperate would, have you Lt? You can't just bludgeon through bureaucracy. "

I laughed. "I almost did. Lucky for him I didn't think he was worth wasting a bullet on." My eyes narrowed, and I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Though I'm surprised that you didn't call security if you heard all that. Unless there's a reason you'd want to see him taken out?"

"If you really want to get to him, you should talk to Lorick Quien. You should be able to find him at the hotel bar."

I nodded. "Thanks."

_(Why are you thanking her? You already knew that.)_

_*Oh shut up.*_

* * *

><p>It took a short time to get to the hotel. Thought I was wondering what a-hole designed the elevators to move so slow here.<p>

"I need a moment of your time." An Asari stated as we passed. I flicked a knife into hand. "I'm busy. Talk to someone that cares."

She was smart enough to leave.

"You don't even know what she wanted Bourne."

I looked at Shepard with a small smile. "I could guess." _And dealing with more coorperate BS is not what I'm in the mood for. Two thirds of me wants to just call it off for the rest of the day and get unhungover. Unfortunately for you two, I'm too stubborn for that._

_*Damn it.*_

_(You're insane. And I would know.)_

"Oh, right." Raptor said as she realized what I meant.

I shook my head and went over to talk to the guy, then my Omni-tool beeped, signaling an incoming call.

_From Ashley._

I thought for a moment. "Shepard, can you handle him yourself?" I pointed him out inconspicuously.

"Probably. You flirt with your girlfriend while I handle things this time."

"Reversal from normal." I commented, moving into a corner where I wasn't so likely to be overheard.

I also transferred the call from my Omni-tool to my earpiece.

_(Someone is paranoid today.)_

_)Hero, can you shut him up while I'm talking to her?(_

_*Only if I can listen in.*_

I decided to just push them both away and answer the call before she decided to just hang up.

"Ash?"

"Hey Jason. How are you doing?"

I chuckled softly. "You sound like I feel."

"I know. Chakwas gave me something. I swear though, she deliberately still made it painful."

"Well, her name does spell 'hacksaw' if you move the letters around."

There was silence on her end for a moment. "That doesn't really make me feel better."

"Sorry."

"So, how's the mission going? Stop Saren and save the galaxy yet?"

"Not quite. I managed to piss off the guy in charge, damn bureaucrat. And Shepard's mad at me, but that's fairly standard by this point."

"What did you do this time?"

"Let's just say the headache isn't helping my temper."

"I'm actually sort of glad I'm not out there."

"Come on Ash, Shepard isn't that bad. As long as you have Biotics so you can hold her off if she really goes after you."

"Yeah, I think I'm staying here Jason."

"Probably just as well. I probably can shrug this off quicker with the genetic enhancements."

"You want me to do what?" Shepard's voice cut across our conversation. Not overly loud, but still loud enough for my enhanced hearing, and her tone was like what she normally sounded like talking to me.

I sighed. "Sorry Ash, I gotta go save someone from Shepard."

"That's sort of backwards. I'll see you when you get back."

"Love you too." I smirked, cutting the com.

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

_I hope this guy is less of a pain in the ass than the last one _ Shepard thought as she walked up to the turian Bourne had indicated.

"Afternoon." He said politely. "Sit down, have a drink."

"Thanks, but I'll pass." _I might actually do what I want to do to Bourne. _"Are you Lorick Quien? I heard you might be able to help me."

He looked at her, and for a moment, Shepard wanted punch him. Then she realized it was her N7 he was looking at, not what she had thought he was looking at.

"You are one of the Spectres that came to Port Hanshan, correct? What can an old turian like me possibly help you with?"

"I'm Commander Shepard with the Systems Alliance Navy," She began.

He cut her off with a wave of his hand. "It's far too late for cover-ups Commander. Your picture has been sent to every single Employee." He glanced over at where Bourne was standing, talking on the comm. "Not to mention his. They've been warned that speaking to either of you is grounds for termination. And that he's high risk and to be shot at the first sign of trouble."

"That doesn't surprise me." She said, shaking her head.

"But yes, I'm Lorick Quein. For the moment, manager of the local synthetic insights office."

"Taking a lunch break?" Shepard asked wryly. "Or are you expecting someone?"

"I wish that it were so. The good administrator closed my office, claiming to be investigating reports of my corruption. So, I don't seem to have much to than wait."

"Which is a cover up for what he's really doing?" Wrex rumbled. Shepard had almost forgotten the other two were there.

"Put bluntly, he demands rent kickbacks from companies on Noveria."

"And you somehow have evidence of this that can be used against him?" Shepard guessed, understanding why Parasini had suggested talking to him.

"More or less. Now his hired goons are ransacking my office looking for it." He stopped for a moment, looking at them. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I suspect your goal lies outside Hanshan?"

"Yes, but the 'good' administrator doesn't want us leaving. And I bet he doesn't want you sharing that evidence even more."

"Than I believe we can help each other. Give me the evidence from my office, and I'll give you my garage pass. Do we have a deal?"

Shepard almost said yes, but something felt off. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Well there is a small, ahh what is the human phrase, fly in the… lotion?"

Shepard just looked at him with confusion, than glanced at Bourne and decided to ask him later.

"Violence against Mr. Anoleis's thugs will most likely be required. He has many members of Hanshan's security teams searching my office. He's paying them under the table."

Shepard crossed her arms. "You want us to do what?"

"If he's paying them, they're mercenaries." Wrex rumbled.

"That's besides the point. There must be some other way to do this."

"Ok, Shepard, calm down and back away slowly." She heard a sudden voice say.

Shepard wheeled on him. "How many times do I have to tell you not do that Bourne?"

"By my count, say it one more time and it'll be 70."

She rolled her eyes, and he snickered. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing. So what did you do to piss her off?" He asked the Turian.

"Short version, part of the plan is killing cops." She said in a low voice.

"Ok, let me guess the long version. The Administrator is paying them to do something they shouldn't be doing, but you still have a problem with that."

"That's still a pretty short version."

"What do you want, mind reading?"

Shepard shook her head. "Can you think of some other way?"

"I heard bits and pieces when I was over there" Shepard seriously doubted that, but realized that he was providing an Alibi. "And I think taking down Mr. 'you can't have a garage pass' is our only option now."

"Which is partially your fault."

"When am I not being blamed for stuff?"

"If we could get back to the matter at hand?" The Turian broke in. "Do we or do we not have a deal?"

"We have a deal." Bourne said. He held a hand up to forestall Shepard. "If you want to stay here and let Wrex and I handle it, I understand. I can take any bad rap, and you stay clean."

Shepard sighed. "I don't like this, but I can't see any other way."

"Excellent" Quein said, handing them an elevator pass. "This will get you into our offices." He also handed over a small OSD. "When you get in, insert this into my computer. It has an encryption key to access the files. It will auto execute."

"Fancy." Bourne commented.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Let's do this before I come to my senses."

"The sooner the better." Wrex rumbled. "I need to get my blood racing in this cold. Shooting something sounds like a good way to do it."

"It isn't that cold out you baby." Bourne said with a small smile.

"Maybe not to you mammals."

"Just do me a favor and don't start hibernating on us."

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, and I'm going to cut it off before all the action. But just think of how much that means I can squeeze into next chapter.<strong>

**By the way, how many of you saw the new ME3 trailer they showed during Walking Dead? I think I've now given up on ever making Bourne anyway near that badass.**

**…but it would have been better with Femshep.**

**Until next time, Hasta la vista.**


	57. Corruption Uncovered

**Ok, by this point I've pretty much given up hope of even starting the sequels before ME3 comes out. Unfortunately, I won't have the game until after way after it comes out anyway,(Due to reason's I'm saying) so maybe I'll at least crank out the first couple chapters by then. But I'm going to seriously be limiting my time on this site for a while after it comes out so I don't accidently spoil something for myself. **

**Though let's be honest: We're all going to go online looking for Tali's face within the first week.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I'd be waving around my early copy of ME3 and laughing at all of you. What? You know you'd be doing that too, given the chance.**

* * *

><p>"Freeze! Hanshan security! This office is-"<p>

All four of us had guns aimed at her before she even finished the sentence. The one Turian backing her up didn't even deserve notice. He'd get one shot off before Shepard put a round between his eyes, if he was skilled.

"Hate to burst your bubble there, but I just unsealed this office." I said, wishing that Shotgun tech hadn't improved so much since my time.

_(Ok, why?)_

_)Just pointing it at them doesn't have the same effect as cocking it, then having them begging me not to blow their head off.(_

_*You sound way too much like him for comfort.*_

_(Yeah, that even sort of creeped me out. Not that I don't agree mind you.)_

"You and what army?" The "cop" asked.

I rolled my eyes. _Apparently clichés haven't changed much in a hundred years though. Why couldn't they reverse that with the shotguns? _

"I know the administrator is paying you under the table. That makes you a criminal. I'm giving you one chance to leave, and that's more than I usually give. You stay, and I'll feed you to the Krogan."

"I'm open to that" Wrex said.

"Your choice."

By this point, she was wise enough to figure out that she should get out while she still could. "Forget this, he isn't paying me enough to fight Spectres."

I flared my Biotics with a dark smirk. "No, he isn't. Tell you what. Leave now, I forget I never saw you."

"Works for me." She said, almost running past us.

"Nicely handled Bourne." Shepard said with a small smirk. "How do you want to do this? Sneak in and-"

"Listen up! I know you're working for Anoleis!" I shouted. "Anybody that wants to make it out of here alive better leave now. For those of you that want to die-"

A bullet suddenly hit me right in the chest, bouncing off my shields. "Do something stupid like that." I finished, sending a warp field at the moron that did it.

"Not even trying to be subtle today, are you." Shepard said, not even a question.

"Less talking, more sniping. You and Liara hang back and give us support. Wrex, you're with me."

"Just point me to a target."

I threw myself to the side, launching a knife midair, as one of them appeared around the corner and fired at me. It caught her in the throat, and she dropped almost instantly. I couldn't hold back a small satisfied smile.

_(I'm shocked. I thought you'd be too much of a gentleman to hit a girl.)_

_)Two things. First of all, I didn't hit her, I slit her throat from a distance. Speaking of which, I should probably get that back.( _ I reached out with my Biotics and sent it flying back onto my arm. _)Secondly, considering there's an entire race that's all chicks, 'no hitting girls' might not be the best policy.(_

_*They aren't female, they're mono-gendered.*_

_(Oh don't you start that too.)_

_)Yeah, bad enough I get it from Raptor and Liara.(_

One of them tried rushing me, only to get a shotgun to the face. The rest stayed at the top of the stairs, holding the choke point formed by the stairs.

"How many of you idiots are there?"

"You're out in the open and not even trying to find cover!" Raptor hissed in my earpiece "Maybe that has something to do with it!"

_Ok, that is the last time I do anything with a hangover. I'm going to get myself killed._

_(You say that like it's a bad thing.)_

_)I thought you didn't want me dead until you got revenge on Saren and the Reapers.(_

_(Oh yeah. Sorry, force of habit.)_

_*Don't try anything funny. There's two of us, and one of you.*_

I put up my strongest barrier and sprinted up the stairs. Wrex swore as he lumbered after me. "Next time give me a little warning you overgrown Pyjak!"

_(Ok, how is doing that right now a good idea?)_

_)It's either stay there and get shot at for the rest of the day, or rush them and actually kill them.(_

I suddenly felt myself moving backwards. _*Didn't plan on them having Biotics, did you?*_

_)Man, this is going to suck.(_

_*Probably*_

Imagine hitting a wall at 30 miles per hour. Now imagine doing that with a hangover. Even with my Barrier, it hurt like hell, and left my head ringing. The several shots I suddenly heard didn't help.

"Thanks Bourne, that was just the distraction I needed."

"Don't patronize me Raptor." I said, getting back to my feet, now even more pissed than before. Wrex did the same next to me, also pissed off.

_(You're pissed? Imagine feeling all that pain without actually having any control to avoid it.)_

_)Then get me in close.(_

_(How am I supposed do that?)_

_*He means charge. Use what little brains you have that aren't insane.*_

_(Oh, right.)_

I felt that sensation of time slowing down, and I threw myself at them. One went flying from the impact, dead instantly. The other three were just stunned, but being stunned around someone with a shotgun was not a good thing. My gun overheated after I took down the first two, so just settled for slitting the third one's throat.

I waited a few seconds, but I didn't hear anything.

"Bourne, you see any more?"

"How many did you take down?"

"Four I think, not including a sniper on the upper level."

"I think that's all of them." I said, collapsing my gun and retrieving my knife from a corpse's throat.

"Damn. I didn't even get to shoot one of them." Wrex said, annoyed.

"Don't worry Wrex. With our luck, they'll be plenty more to shoot soon enough."

"That doesn't exactly reassure me Bourne." Shepard said, coming up the stairs. She was looking at me oddly, but I couldn't place why.

"If may ask Lt, what was that maneuver you used to get up here?" Liara said, her interest as a fellow Biotic piqued.

I shrugged. "I call it a Biotic Charge. Made it up myself."

_(You credit stealing-)_

_)Would you rather I say it doesn't exist yet?(_

_(Point taken. You credit stealing bitch)_

I shook my head, my headache coming back as the adrenaline rush faded. "Let's just get the files and get out of here before more show up."

"Nice place." Shepard commented as we moved towards the offices.

"Yeah, the corpses really add to the décor." Wrex said.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, sliding a knife into hand. He glanced at it, then fixed me with a hard stare.

"You humans have no sense of Humor." He muttered.

_(Ok, I think I should have been born a Krogan.)_

_)Yeah, not like you'd be any uglier then.(_

_*Burned.*_

_)Duh, have you seen his face?(_

_(Both of you can suck my-)_

"Bourne, you awake?"

"I'm fine Shepard." I answered, pushing the other two Shepard's away. "Let's just get those files and get out."

Shepard slid the OSD into the drive, and it began the transfer. "Looks like this is going to take a few minutes."

"That figures." I muttered in a low voice.

"What was that?" Shepard asked.

"Do you really want me to repeat it?"

"No."

"Ok, you talked me into it."

"Bourne…"

I looked at Liara. "Have you ever gotten her to laugh? I keep trying, but usually it just ends up with her slapping me."

Wrex laughed softly, which still was pretty loud.

"See Shepard? That's how you're supposed to react when someone tells a joke."

"You really want a joke? Here, let me find you a mirror." Shepard retorted.

"Eh, not bad. I'd say a solid C."

"You want a solid hook to the 'I'?"

That one actually got a solid laugh.

_(That was the worst pun I've ever heard.)_

_)No one asked you. Besides, do you want her to slap me again?(_

_(Point taken. A-hole.)_

_)I'm sorry, did I hear that right? The murdering physcopathic lunatic is calling me an ass?(_

_*Looks like it.*_

_(Hey, I never point out your flaws.)_

_)Like?(_

_(You just killed half a dozen cops.)_

_)Dirty cops.(_

_(Ever stop to think about all the families of the people you kill? All the orphans and widows?) _My retort died before I even thought of it. _(What about all those people you're allowing to die by staying silent?)_

_*Enough!* _

Iron's voice died suddenly, and without warning.

_*Bourne, don't listen to him. You know that he's just baiting you.*_

_)That doesn't make it any less true.(_

"Bourne, you ok?"

I shook my head, forcing them away. I didn't need company from them at the moment. "I'm fine Raptor."

She looked at me oddly again, and this time I realized my slip, and I half tensed for an incoming punch.

She didn't say anything though, so neither did I.

A small ding indicated that the OSD was ready. Shepard grabbed the disk and clipped it to her belt.

"Come on, let's get going."

"Agreed." I said, still distracted by Iron's words.

I had already rationalized it all, but that didn't make it any easier to really think about. A single word could prevent hundreds- if not thousands- of casualties. And there were those that I had already doomed.  
><em>Zheong, Nihlus, hundreds of mercs, Kaiden <em>I couldn't hold back a a grimace at the last one. _Shepard, and possibly myself,_

"I don't think you're supposed to be in here _Lt_. Bourne."

_"_ That's Agent Bourne!" I snapped without thinking. That's when I saw Stirling and a couple dozen of her thugs. _Shit._

_*Luck is not your friend, is it?*_

_)I don't think luck and I are even on speaking terms anymore.(_

"Oh, are we having a party? Why wasn't I invited?" I quipped to hide my real emotions.

"You have a lot of nerve." One of them said, but Stirling held up a hand, and they fell back in line.

"So no party then. Is there a reason you're hear that I'm not getting or…?"

Shepard groaned next to me.

"Cause you know, if there isn't, I have things to do, places to be,"

Stirling smiled in a way that Iron would envy. "You think I'm just going to let you walk out? Uh-Uh."

_(Oh, it looks like a Biotic Charge would really come in handy right now. Too bad you pissed me off so I'm unwilling to help you.)_

_)Oh for fucks sake!(_

_*Now is not the time for you to argue with us!*_

_(Why not? We all die, which is still better than this wretched existence in his head.)_

_*You're insane!*_

_(Finally caught on to that have you?)_

"Anoleis would throw you off world for what you did. I won't. You know what we did to cop killers on my world?"

I snarled, as much at her as at Iron. "You know what I do dirty cops? Oh, wait, I guess you do. Question is, are you smarter than they are?"

Shepard interjected. "We gave them a chance to leave. They opened fire on us."

"Too bad. Crime's a crime, and you're going to pay the price." Stirling flared her Biotics.

I snorted and readied my own powers. "You really think that that's going to help? I can go past you or tear through you. Apparently we're making it the second one though."

I was suddenly thrown off the upper level onto the harsh lower's harsh unforgiving floor.

"I don't know, seems to me like they help plenty." I heard her say.

_Ok, did someone change the difficulty level when I wasn't looking? _ I thought as I forced myself to my feet, head ringing once again.

I heard several rounds from Shepard's sniper rifle, and I heard Stirling curse in response. I glanced at the stairs, but there was no way I'd get to her past all those guards.

_)Iron, would you like to help me tear her a new one?(_

_( I don't think you can really say that about a chick. Really only works for guys.)_

_*So that's a no?*_

_(You're one your own. I'd wish you good luck, but we all know I'd be lying.)_

I growled as I looked for another way. My eyes alighted on a few crates nearby, which I grabbed and positioned as makeshift stairs to get back up.

None of them even noticed my reappearance over the side of the platform.

_*Since Iron's being an idiot, allow me to help.*_

I got her drift, and threw a few singularities into the group. That got their attention, and I started flinging knives at the ones still standing, while Wrex and Liara focused on the ones in midair.

I was then thrown back off the level by Stirling. She came to edge of the level, gloating. "Payback's a bitch, isn't it Bourne?"

There was one loud shot from Shepard, and I raised my hand to block the raining bits of brain matter. "Takes one to know one." Shepard quipped. Stirling's body slowly toppled forward, and I rolled to the side, nearly avoiding the falling corpse. "That's all of them Bourne; we'll meet you down there."

"Sure, don't make sure that I'm ok or anything." I muttered, getting back to my feet. "I really need to invest in better armor."

"I told you to buy something from that Hanar. I ought to have enough for both of us once Quinn pays us."

"Wait, you did? When?"

"You were laughing your ass because you suggested Liara and I get matching pink armor."

"Oh yeah, now I remember that."

"Moron."

I rolled my eyes and waited for her to get down there.

"I think the fact that you spent a full half hour trading so you could get the best sniper rifle and upgrades you could."

"They seem be working. I took Stirling down easy."

"I know. I wanted to do that."

"Quit whining."

"I'm not whining, I'm complaining. There's a difference."

"Why can't you have been knocked out by the fall?" She said in a low voice.

"Com's still on Shepard."

There was an awkward silence.

It was broken when a cop that had hid on the lower level started shooting at me. I just sighed and threw him against the far wall.

_ I never thought I'd say this, but I'm almost eager to get in the Mako and get going._

_(What is wrong with you?)_

_)At least I can sleep on the way there.(_

_(….Sleep….. In the Mako….) _

_*You must have hit your head in the fall or something.*_

_)… damnit.(_

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

"You were just wanting to upgrade your armor five minutes ago Bourne."

"I was kidding. This has worked just fine so far."

"You mean minus when you got shot in the side and needed a new liver? Or when you got shot in the arm?"

"Those were with modded rounds."

"Doesn't change my point."

"Yeah, well when you have as many 'points' as I have" Bourne said, flicking a knife into hand "It'd take a while to move them all over."

"So you say I have horrible jokes, and yet you crack witticisms like that."

"Look, you want to upgrade your armor, or Liara's or Wrex's, that's fine. But unless you can find a really good set of medium armor cheap, not happening."

"You could just keep the gloves from that armor and use them with a new set."

Bourne seemed to mull it over. "Maybe."

"If you don't to spend money, I'm pretty sure Ashley held on to her old armor."

"Ha ha. Besides, that armor is way lower quality than mine."

Their argument was broken up by the opening of the elevator doors.

"I knew I should have made Vakarian come instead." Wrex muttered as we exited.

"Oh shut up Wrex." Bourne said. "Or I'll get you pink armor."

"If you keep insulting Pink armor, your mate would be very interested in hearing that."

"It looks good on her."

Shepard didn't even bother turning around. "Then maybe I should get you pink armor so you match with her."

Bourne stopped in his tracks. "Uh, were you joking that time, or should I be worried?"

"Whichever shuts you up."

Shepard suddenly noticed that they had company, the administrator's secretary.

"Commander, there's been reports of noise in the synthetic insights office. Would you know anything about that?"

Shepard glanced at Bourne. "I wouldn't know anything about that."

"Wow Shepard, you are not a good liar right now." Bourne said, shaking his head.

"Not with you giving it away."

"Relax Shepard. Internal affairs agents can't exactly arrest Spectres."

Parasini's eyes widened. "How did you know-"

"I didn't know. You just told me. But maybe this isn't the best place to discuss it."

Parasini hesitated, then nodded. "Agreed. Meet me at the hotel bar for a drink. Before you talk to Quien."

"I can hardly wait." Wrex grumbled.

* * *

><p>"Bourne, just pick something."<p>

"You took your own sweet time before you found a heavy version of your armor. Then it took about five minutes for you to move the N7 over and paint that red strip on. You know that it's not a requirement that you have that stuff on your armor now that you're a spectre?"

"Bourne, just pick something."

He rolled his eyes, then turned back to the selections. "Screw it. I'll take that one." He said, pointing randomly.

The Hanar floated over to it. "Ah, Scorpion 10 armor. The other has made a very wise choice. This one requires the necessary payment first."

Bourne brought up his Omni-tool and transfer the credits. "Seriously Shepard, I don't know why you were making such a big deal out of it."

Shepard looked at the armor, than glared at Bourne. "That's the exact same model."

Bourne looked at it, and his face went blank and unreadable. "It's a newer and better version of this stuff. It looks the exact same, but it offers more protection." His biotics flared, and the red omega floated off his old armor on to his new.

Shepard sighed. "And you picked that at random? Why do I not believe that?"

"I don't believe it either." He said in a low voice, beginning to transfer the pieces over.

_Something is off about him. Hangover or not, he's been off his game today. There's no way a weaker Biotic like Stirling should have been able to take him down. And he seems to be distracted now. And what was up with actually calling me Raptor? _

"Will the other require anything further?" The Hanar asked.

"I don't think so." Shepard answered.

"Actually, can you send this old armor to our ship?" Bourne said.

"Of course."

"Come on, let's go talk to Parasini."

"Any idea what she wants?" Shepard asked.

Bourne seemed to consider the question a moment. "If she's who I think, she probably wants the data to prove Annolies is corrupt."

A few of the security officers looked at them, and for a moment, Shepard was almost sure there'd be a fight. She had heard people talking about the guards that had been killed, and she and Bourne were the most likely suspects.

"So why are we helping her then?" Wrex said. "Shouldn't we be stopping Saren?"

Shepard couldn't help but smile as the guards suddenly looked everywhere but at them. _Sometimes it really helps to have a Krogan along. I wonder if that's why Bourne said we should bring him?_

"Perhaps we should see what she actually wants before we begin arguing about it?" Liara said as they stepped into the hotel elevator.

"Works for me." Shepard said.

Bourne smiled, but he didn't say anything. Which was good, because Shepard was about ready to knock him out.

"That's her over there. Let's get this over with so we can get going. The sooner we're off this ice ball the better." Wrex said as the doors opened.

"Agreed." Bourne and Shepard said at once.

"Allow me to reintroduce myself." She said as they walked up. "Gianna Parasini, Noveria internal affairs."

"I love being right." Bourne said with a small grin.

"Yes, yes, very impressive." She said, waving a hand.

"I'm guessing the Administrator doesn't know you have a second job?" Shepard said.

"I've been undercover for 6 months. The executive board knows that he's corrupt."

"And now we get to the part where you tell us what you want and what you'll give us for it." Bourne muttered. "Let me guess, you want the records we got from synthetic insights?"

"I need to you to convince Quien to testify. That evidence is what we need to get this planet running smoothly again."

"I'll be right back." Bourne said, walking towards him.

Parasini sighed. "He's not much for staying subtle, is he?"

"He gets the job done. And he can be pretty persuasive. Usually with threats. But what I don't get is why you can't just take the records from your "Boss's" office."

"He's a crook, not a moron. He doesn't exactly keep records saying "This month I stole a million credits."

"Point taken. Though I think Bourne would disagree on the moron part. He was more than able to kill the administrator, but he called his bluff. If Bourne hadn't decided against it…"

"I guess the guy's insane and corrupt. Good thing we're catching him now."

"Ok, jobs done." Bourne said from behind Shepard.

She didn't give him the satisfaction by acting surprised.

"I got him to agree to testify against Annolies. Now for our part of the deal. We need a garage pass."

Parasini shook her head. "I wish I'd thought to get one before. That would take a while to get."

"Don't worry. We can take it off the thief when we arrest him."

"We?" Shepard asked.

"Wouldn't hurt for her to have back up. Besides, I want to see the look on that smug prick's face."

"I just wish I had time to change into something easier to move in." Parasini said. "I hate skirts."

She seemed to be considering them. "You know, I'm actually sort of surprised you're helping me. Being Spectres and all. I guess some of you are all right."

"Thanks?"

Bourne chuckled. "I think this is going to be fun."

* * *

><p><strong>Bourne<strong>

It only took a few minutes to get to his office.

_(I still say you should kill him.)_

_)I'm not going to kill him. Even though I sort of want to.(_

_(There must be some way to make it look like an accident.)_

_)Maybe I would have if you'd helped me with Stirling. But since you went and pissed me off, you're SOL(_

_(I hate you.)_

_)Believe me, the feeling is mutual. And if there was a way to get you out of my head, I'd do it in a heard beat.(_

He suddenly went silent, but I wasn't going to complain.

I glanced at Parasini. "Hypothetical question. How expensive is his door?"

"Bourne, you can not kick it in."

"Shepard, I'd like to see you go one day without being a total buzzkill."

"I'd like to see you go a day without getting on my nerves."

"Let's just arrest the guy." I said, stepping through the door.

He looked up at me in irritation. "What is it now? I am in the middle of nine things, all of them annoying."

I smiled. "Don't worry, you're about to take a long vacation."

Shepard and Parasini flanked me.

"You're under arrest." Parasini said, pulling out a small hidden gun.

"Is that so?" The administrator said.

"Give it up. There's five of us, and one of you."

I stepped closer, smiling. "You really should have given us that garage pass."

Pain suddenly shot through my skull, and I froze in my tracks, paralyzed.

"Bourne, look out!" Shepard shouted.

Then I felt my chest explode and I flew backwards, unconscious before I even hit the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Yep, I think it's been too long without a good cliff hanger, so there you go. Feel free to call me a jerk.<strong>

**But I would like a little bit of support on something.**

**Some author going by "Trebor11_8" _is writing a fic called "Stuck in a world of _Better _fiction." Yeah, real original names. He's basically ripping of this fic. I didn't mention it before cause it seemed like he might have actually had good intentions, but now I can see he's just trolling me. Could you please go tell him to knock it off? Or someone tell me how I can get that plagiarizing moron banned?**

**Either way, it's a pain, so I'd appreciate some back up. **


	58. This is bad

**God, I'm so close to the end I can almost taste it. To be honest, I never really like the first game as much as Number 2. But I wanted to establish this whole back story.  
>Glad to see it's closer to paying off.<strong>

**And I feel obligated to remind everyone to Please, Please warn of ME3 Spoilers when you begin posting those stories. I for one won't be able to get it for about a week, and I would hate for it to be spoiled, and I imagine many others feel the same. And if you don't, I'm sending Jack after you. And Grunt. And Thane. And Miranda. And Garrus. And just for fun, the Black Whirlwind. **

**But I'm still looking for Tali's face the day after the game comes out. Let's face it, we all are. Or else I'm going to be complaining on Message Boards about them not putting it in with everyone else. **

* * *

><p>"You really should have given us that Garage pass" Bourne gloated.<p>

Shepard rolled her eyes, nearly missing a flash of movement from the administrator.

Adrenaline shot through her system, slowing everything down. It was like time stood still. Bourne had frozen, and the Salarian had pulled a gun out of his desk, now aimed at Bourne. Who wasn't moving! _What the hell is he doing? _For a moment, Shepard thought he was going to do his typical showoff routine. Then she realized just how still he was. He was like a statue.

"Bourne! Look out!" Shepard shouted, hand already grabbing her gun.

She was too late, as a blast from the gun hit Bourne in the chest and he fell to the ground.

She pumped several rounds into the administrator's head, knocking him from his chair and splattering the wall with blood. She rushed over to Bourne, barely sparing the corpse a second glance.

"Bourne, If you die on me, I'll kill you!" She knelt beside him, ripping off a glove and checking for a pulse. "Come on, stay with me,"

For a few heart wrenching seconds, she didn't find it.

Then she felt it. It was weak, but definite. "Thank god."

"Bourne's lucky you're more stubborn than he is." Wrex said from behind her. She turned and saw the Krogan looking at Annolies' pistol. His hands were surprisingly dexterous as he examined it. "Modded rounds. Would have torn right through his old armor. Looks like it just hit that new stuff really hard."

Shepard looked again, and saw the chest plate wasn't breached. She brought up his suit's bio-medical readings on her HUD. "Thank god. " She said again. "He's not dead, only stunned. Looks like a couple of broken ribs from the impact though."

_Pity. Would have made things easier. _

Shepard's eyes shot open at the thought, and pushed it away. _Where the hell did that come from? _She and Bourne didn't see eye to eye on often, but she had come to consider him a friend.

"I don't think he's coming with us today." She stood up. "Let's take him to the Normandy so Chakwas can patch him up. We'll take Tali instead."

"It seems odd that just one shot would take him down so easily." Liara commented.

Shepard had to agree. "He's lucky that's all that happened. If we'd been here a few hours earlier, it would have taken him out."

"Mother of… Corporeal, secure the area!"

Shepard turned to see Captain Matsuo standing in the doorway.

"Right away." The indicated individual said, rushing off.

"What happened here Commander Shepard?"

Shepard weighed her options, but decided that truth was the best policy. "Short version, the Administrator resisted arrest."

"Arrest?"

Parasini finally spoke up, having apparently been shocked into silence at the events. "I finally got the evidence the executive Board needed. Bourne and Shepard were helping me arrest him."

Captain Matsuo shook her head. "An internal affairs agent. That would explain a lot, especially since I've heard some rumors about all this. But how did he end up dead?"

Shepard almost had an urge to chuckle. "Do you not see the bullet holes? He pulled a gun first, I shot him."

The Captain glanced at Bourne's prone form. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Wrex laughed. "It'll take more than a corrupt salarian with a gun to take that stubborn Pyjak down."

Shepard nodded agreement. "He's going to be out for a while, but should be fine."

"So you shot him with no provocation?"

Shepard felt an unnatural surge of anger. "He had a gun out and as far as I could see might have taken down my partner. It's not my Policy to wait until someone kills a fellow Spectre for me to shoot them."

The Captain seemed to shrink down a bit. "And I should not be telling you how to do your job. My apologies."

Shepard shook her head, anger fading as fast as it had come. "I think I owe you an apology too. Those guards that were killed at synthetic insights?"

"I wondered if you might have something to do with that."

"He" Shepard gestured to the corpse, "was paying them under the table. We tried to reason with them, but they didn't leave us much choice."

The Captain sighed. "That does not surprise me. Sgt. Kirling was quite mercenary. I warned my people against taking jobs on the side. If you'll excuse me Commander, I have to write letters of condolence to their families." She glanced at the body. "And the death of an executive must be submitted in triplicate."

Parasini sighed. "That might be my job too. Not that I blame you for shooting him Shepard, but I really wish you hadn't."

Shepard kneelt by the body, then stood up, holding the garage pass. "At least we got what we came for."

"Should we not get Lt. Bourne back to the Normandy first?" Liara pointed out.

Shepard was shocked to realize she had almost forgotten him. When Jenkins had died on Eden Prime, or she had lost her squad on Akuze, she had put them aside for the mission. But she had completely forgotten Bourne. "Oh, yeah."

Something seemed wrong to her, but she couldn't place what it was.

_(Oh, something's wrong alright.)_

Shepard felt a cold hand grip her stomach.

"Wrex, pick him up and get him out of here." She heard herself say. Her voice sounded slightly deeper and raspier, but she could only barely tell. It was there though. And she hadn't been the one to say it.

"He better not be as heavy as he looks." Wrex said, Oblivious to what was happening to Shepard. All of them were.

_This is impossible! _Shepard could no longer move her own body. She wanted to shout, to yell at them for help, but even moving her eyes was beyond her control.

_(Oh, it's very possible. Don't worry, I'll let you go eventual- hahahahaha , nope, can't even finish that statement without laughing. Oh well.)_

_Who are you?_

_(Hmm, who do you know that has a tendency to control minds? I'll give you a hint, the only reason I'm not killing Bourne right now is that it would be too suspicious. Or is that too obvious?)_

Shepard would have widened her eyes if she could. _Iron._

_(In the flesh. Well, so to speak anyway.)_ His maniacal laughter filled her head.

* * *

><p><strong>Tali<strong>

"Is he going to be alright?" Ashley asked Chakwas as Bourne was brought into the med bay.

Tali fought back the urge to sigh. Chakwas had wanted to see her to make sure that her infection was gone completely. But she would have almost been willing to get another one to not have to see Bourne and Ashley together like. It only reminded her that she and Garrus would never truly be able to have such a connection. Even the simple act of feeling each other's skin was beyond them without severe preparations and heavy risks.

"It looks like he just got the wind knocked out of him. He's lucky he upgraded when he did."

Ashley muttered something under her breath. Tali only caught a few bits that sounded like "Stubborn Bastard", whatever that meant. She knew all about stubborn by now, courtesy of Garrus, but she was lost on the second term.

"So he's not going anywhere for a while?" Shepard asked, stepping into the room. She seemed oddly angry and aggressive to Tali as she read her body language. _If I didn't know better, it looks like she's ready to just start shooting people. _Tali shook her head at the absurdity of the thought.

_Bourne must just have her worried. For all that they bicker, I can tell they're good friends. _

"He should be awake in a couple of hours at the most, but with those cracked ribs… I'd say he'd better stay here overnight."

Shepard glanced at the back room. Tali had heard rumors among the engineers that she and Liara were sharing that room now, and if Bourne's constant jokes were anything to go by, the rumors were true.

"Knowing him, I get the feeling he'll be getting on my nerves sooner than that. Tali, get your gear. I'm bringing you instead."

"Right away Shepard."

"You too Ash. Suit up."

She turned her attention away from Bourne. "You're bringing four of us?"

"No. You, Tali, and Wrex. Liara's staying here."

"What?"

Tali jumped. She hadn't even seen the Asari enter the room.

"Raptor,"

"Don't Liara. My mind is made up."

The normally cheerful Asari frowned, crossing her arms. "I thought the Lt. had convinced you that-"

"He did. That salarian unconvinced me."

Liara looked ready to argue further, but Shepard's eyes blazed. Tali took a few steps back from her as Shepard's fists clenched.

"You're staying. End of story." She glanced at Tali and Ashley. "I thought I told you two to get suited up?"

She brushed past them, heading upstairs.

"What's up with her?" Ashley muttered in an undertone as they got into the elevator.

"Probably just what happened to Bourne."

"Yeah, probably."

* * *

><p><strong>Shepard.<strong>

_(God, this is just too much fun. Did you see the way they jumped? Oh lord, I haven't been able to do that for far too long.)_

Shepard continued to struggle, but she could find no hold.

_(Will you just give up? It's obvious that you aren't going to beat me this time.)_

_All I have to do is get free for two seconds, and get their attention._

_(And if you do? As far as those morons know, I'm still in Bourne's head. And as far as everyone else knows, I don't exist. How will they ever know I'm in here?)_

_Then why don't you move back? I'm sure the weather is much nicer in there._

_(Ahahahahaha! I'll bet Bourne would die laughing from that comment.)_

_It was really that funny?_

_(No, it's more the fact that you managed to make a Joke at all.)_

_Screw you._

_(Oh, feisty are we? Well, at least you're not such a pathetic paragon as I thought you would be.)_

_Paragon? What the heck does that mean?_

There was silence for a moment, Iron just controlling her body and keeping it looking straight ahead as they moved back towards the airlock.

_(You know, for once, Bourne isn't here to stop me from telling you everything. It would destroy him if I told you everything he knew.)_

Shepard wanted to wince as deep evil laughter shot through her head.

_(Ah, but that would be much too… blunt. I admit that I'm an evil murdering Psychopath, that's part of my charm. But I'm smarter than Bourne seems to think. You know that I'm an alternate version of you.)_

_Don't remind me. _

_(It's unhealthy to hate yourself you know. Ahahahahaahah! But anyway, Bourne knew of a lot of versions of us. Those like me tended to be as blunt as Bourne thinks I am. But I'm capable of subtlety too.)_

He burst into that unholy laughter again. _(Look at me, I'm monologing like some cheap B-vid villain. Say that ten times fast.) _

_I can see why Bourne complains about you so much._

_(He's going to complain even more when I'm through with him. Your girlfriend-)_

_She isn't female! She's monogendered!_

_(You're so full of hot air. Even Bourne's not dumb enough to fall for that, which says a lot. But she's more powerful that you, or Bourne, gives her credit for. And she knows you far too well-)_

_Are you sure that you aren't Bourne?_

_(That's just rude. I am nothing like him. As I was saying, your very good friend knows you two well to be fooled. Garrus would figure me out pretty quickly too. The three coming with us though, they'll just assume that you're pissed by what happened to Bourne. Or it's that time of the month ahahahaahahaah!)_

_You're a sick Bastard._

_(If I had a credit for every time I've heard that, I'd be the richest pyscopath in the universe.)_

"Shepard?" Tali's voice distracted Iron, and he turned to face her.

"Yeah? What?"

"Are you sure that leaving Bourne here is the best option? Even with Wrex and Ashley-"

"If he wanted to come along, he should have avoided getting shot."

Iron shook their head. "He'd want us to go."

They turned. "Speaking of which, Joker."

He looked at them over his shoulder, face pale. "Whatever Bourne said, it wasn't me."

"I'll keep that in mind. Keep the Normandy here, even if Bourne says otherwise."

_You're putting him between Bourne and I? You are evil._

_(Duh.)_

Shepard saw Ashley approaching from the corner of their eye. _(Oh look, My worst enemy's girlfriend. Ahahahaha! This is going to be fun. I kill her, which'll destroy Bourne. Then I kill the Quarian and do the job right this time. And of course I feed Wrex's corpse to the Rachni.)_

_The what?_

_(Oops, nearly gave away the other part.)_

Shepard couldn't believe she was thinking this, but _Bourne, you had better get me out of this._

_(Please, even that moron won't be able to save you this time. I made sure of it.)_

Shepard would have… she was so angry she could hardly think straight, but she would have torn Iron apart given the chance. _What did you do to him?_

_(Nothing too bad. He may even enjoy it. Either way, he's out of way for as long as I need. I wonder though, will he figure out that it's me when I kill him? Or will he think you betrayed him on top of everything else?) _His maniacal laughter filled her head.

* * *

><p><strong>Geez, another cliffhanger? I'm getting as bad as the Walking Dead. Minus killing off the best characters… <strong>

**Until next time, which I hope will be very soon, Keelah Selai. And for those of you who will have the game before me… On second thought, if I said that, it would require this to have an M rating. **


	59. What if I fail?

**Ok, let me say a quick couple of things here. First of all, Those of you who already have ME3, I am not your friend anymore. For those of you that have to wait for it, I know your pain. **

**Know why? Cause I don't own That Franchise. Although if you haven't figured that out yet, your brain is more messed up than Iron's.**

* * *

><p>"No, not like this." It was little more than a whisper. I fell to my knees, now too unimportant to be remembered. Geth swarmed all around me, but I was no longer a threat.<p>

It was official. The Reapers had won. The Citadel had been activated, and they were coming.

"What's the matter Bourne, scared of sea food?" Iron's voice, now coming from flesh, sounded in my ear.  
>"You should have known from the beginning that you would fail. You couldn't save Shepard, you couldn't save your girlfriend, all of them are dead. Because of you."<p>

I clenched my jaw, not letting him bait me. If I was going to die, it would be on my terms. If he wanted to take me down, he was going to have to work for it.

"I guess it isn't entirely your fault though. The Reapers made me better than you'll ever be. Serving them is a small price to pay for revenge. Now I'll be their right hand man. You know, since I killed Saren after he killed all your friends?"

"I know what happened."

"Oh, you can talk. For a second I thought the world had been blessed and you'd forgotten how to speak." He laughed evilly, but the cold sound was no longer able to effect me.. "But you know the real tragedy? That Garrus and Tali won't have that long relationship they were expecting. You didn't save her this time. It's not all that surprising that Garrus let that Geth kill him then. Wrex took a bit longer to kill of course, but he still fell eventually." He chuckled evilly." It's funny. You, Liara, and Joker, the weakest ones, are the only ones left alive. Not for long of course." He leaned in close. "What's the matter Bourne. Squids got your tongue?"

I didn't bother replying. I just turned and punched him into the far wall. I ran at him, Biotics flared, knives in hand. He just smiled and met me with a bone shattering Biotic Charge. I heard a loud crack, then I was unable to stand. I fell to my one good knee.

"Oh come on. I knew that you'd be easy to beat, but throwing me into the wall? News flash, I can create a Biotic Barrier dumbass. You should know that."

I stayed silent, glaring at him.

"So, this is how it ends." He commented, pulling out his shotgun. With a sudden powerful movement, he brought his foot down on my good knee, shattering it.

I grunted, though I forced myself not to scream. I had felt a lot worse in my time here.

"Now now Bourne, don't you know how this works? You're supposed to scream."

He levered his Shotgun at my left hand. I forced myself not to look as he blasted my hand into scraps of flesh. I screamed before I could stop myself, pulling the useless hand in close.

"See, now you get it."

"Even if you kill me here, there are countless other worlds where you've failed."

He laughed. "Ah, but don't you understand? That's the point."

I forced myself to smile. "What's the point? This one?" I still had one good hand left, and plenty of knives.

He just stopped them in midair and flicked them away. "Still cracking jokes to the end. I don't you think you understand that this whole universe is a joke. You talk about choices, but in the end, how different can it really be. I'm making the only choice that matters. I'm wiping all this out so there can be a new universe."

"This is the one chance we have to break the cycle, and you've thrown it away."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Why would I want to break it now? I have no illusions of course. I know that the Reapers won't let us all live. But they'll have plenty of people for me to kill. And who knows? Maybe they'll put me in stasis somehow, let me live until the next cycle." He smiled. "That would be the perfect life. Kill a few billion people, sleep for a bit, do it all again. But enough talk." He pointed the shotgun at my head.

"Any last words? You have until the count of five. One, two, three-" There was a deafening bang in my ear, and everything dissolved into bright light.

* * *

><p><em>*Wake up!*<em>

I was jolted awake, screaming.

_*Finally. You're the heaviest sleeper I know.*_

_)Hey, I wanted to wake up!(_

_*No, you didn't. You thought that all that was real.*_

I rubbed my head, but I knew the images would remain for a long time. _(You know what I mean. Not like I was trying to stay there.(_

Chakwas rushed in, already scanning me.

_*How much do you remember?*_

_)The last thing I remember is moving into arrest the administrator. Then we moved to the peak fifteen outpost-(_

_*That's where the dream started. *_

_)I figured that out by now. So what really happened?(_ I was very much hoping that she didn't call me out on the lie, but she seemed to ignore it under the circumstances. I knew that I'd be revisiting those horrors in my nightmares for a long time.

Chakwas was saying something to me, but I blocked it out, still shaken. Until one little thing caught my ear.

"I guess Shepard made the right call in taking Tali and leaving you here."

I froze, and Hero seemed to do the same. Shepard had only left me behind a handful of times, but those were only for minor missions, and when I was injured. It was possible that Shepard would do it for a major mission like this, but it seemed out of character for her.

It had hit me that for once, the presence I so greatly loathed was gone. But I had to make sure.

"Wait, who else did Shepard take with her?"

"Besides Tali, she took Wrex and Chief Williams."

That settled it. There was no way Shepard would leave Liara behind when her mother was involved. Even without my frequent jokes that inspired her to hit me, I knew that Shepard loved Liara. _Or at least, Raptor did._

_)Hero, where's Iron?(_

There was a long silence, but I already knew the answer. _*He's gone.*_

_)How?(_

_*He got into your head somehow, stands to reason that he could get out.*_

_)Raptor?(_

_*Clearly. Position of authority, the least likely person to be questioned…* _She trailed off, but I could tell what she was thinking.

_)And he has the chance to tell her everything. Damn it, if I had just killed Annolies when I had the chance-(_

_*It wouldn't have been worth it. You aren't a murderer. You'll have to be tough to survive here, but don't change who you are.*_

_)That might be more comforting if I wasn't worried about Iron telling Shepard everything I know.(_

There was a long silence.

_*I won't lie to you, dying is painful. And Raptor is going to be pissed.*_

_()eah, I know, thanks. But Iron made a real mistake. That little dream of his just made me want to kick his ugly ass into next year.(_

_*I really doubt that's part of his plan.* _

_)No kidding.( _I said sarcastically.

_*He gloated a bit to me before he left. He plans on killing everyone with Raptor, and probably wiping out the Rachni.*_

_)And killing me.(_

_*Probably. That dream can't be all that far from what he wants to happen.*_

_)If I can find him, her, whatever, can you get him back in here?(_

_*I don't know. But we need to find him. Fast.*_

_)Agreed.(_

I cut across Chakwas. "Where's my gear?"

I pushed myself off of the cot, grunting as pain shot through my sides.

"Were you listening to anything I just said? You have multiple broke ribs, you're in no condition to fight."

"Nothing personal Doc, but I'm seriously thinking about getting a second opinion."

I opened the med bay doors, and almost ran face first into Garrus. "Going somewhere Bourne?"

"Past you. If you'd be kind enough to move aside?" It wasn't a question though.

"Shepard's long gone. The Mako must be half way to Benezia by now."

I swore. "Great."

"You'd be better off staying here anyway and how would you catch up to them?"

"Get out of my way." I growled, Biotics flaring.

His hand dropped to his pistol.

"You don't want to do that Garrus."

_*Do you really think that this is helping? I doubt Iron would broadcast his presence, so maybe going against that entire team solo isn't such a good idea. They'd think you were Iron.*_

I sighed and dropped my Biotics. "And to be honest, neither do I."

Even with my limited ability to read Turian expressions, I could tell he was surprised. "What?"

"Garrus, let me ask you something. Do you trust me?"

"No."

_*Wow, he didn't even have to think about it. You'll really have to work on that.*_

I smiled grimly. "Well I can think of at least one person you trust less."

Even I could see the aggression that flashed across his face at the suggestion.

"Where's Liara? She'll want to hear this too."

On cue, the door to the back slid open. "Is everything alright? I heard screaming."

I grimaced. "If I said yes, I'd be lying."

"Wouldn't be the first time. " Garrus muttered, hand still near his pistol.

"Liara, when Raptor got back, did you notice anything odd about how she was acting?"

She hesitated a moment. "I don't think so…"

"You aren't a good liar. Was she more aggressive, or more hostile? Anything like that?"

She looked away, but she nodded.

I turned to Garrus. "Riddle me this: Who do we know that takes over minds and is extremely aggressive? I'll give you a hint. His name is a type of metal."

Garrus looked at me skeptically. "Are you trying to say that Iron got into Shepard's head?"

"He isn't in mine. And for once, I wish he was. But as an old saying goes, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbably, must be the truth. And all the evidence I'm seeing points to that."

They stared at me for a moment.

I crossed my arms. "Well? Either say I'm crazy, or say you believe me."

Chakwas looked at us all in confusion. "Long story doc." I said in response to her unanswered question.

Liara finally nodded. "I don't believe there's any other explanation for Shepard's behavior. But how did Iron get into her head?"

"I'm not sure. But considering how I just froze when I had a gun pointed at me, and I only just remember that, I'd guess he did it then. Using my hopefully dead body as a distraction. That seems to be the one part of his plan that didn't work so well."

Garrus stayed silent. His face was unreadable, but I could guess what he was thinking, and I doubted it was very flattering.

I chuckled darkly. "I don't blame you for being skeptical Garrus. But remember-" I lifted up my right sleeve, showing a certain scar. "Iron has a tendency to hold a grudge. And all three of us have our girlfriends out there." I didn't need to say more.

_*I'm sort of impressed.*_

_)How?(_

_*You didn't make it a joke when you mentioned Liara's "Girlfriend."*_

_)I have bigger fish to fry. I'll joke about it later.(_

_*I know.* _She said irritably.

Garrus finally nodded. "Even you wouldn't lie about something like this." He crossed his arms. "So what now?"

_*Not having a Mako makes things a little more complicated.*_

_)There's more than one way to catch a maniac.(_

"Garrus, tell Joker to get ready for takeoff. Liara, grab your gear. We need to get to them, and fast." I needed to take command here.

_*Maybe you should mention the Rachni? I doubt Garrus would be all that happy if you left that out.*_

I cleared my throat, getting them to turn around before they left. "I think Iron may also have a secondary objective. If I'm right, there's going to be Rachni there, and they aren't likely to let us by without a fight."

I turned to Chakwas, ignoring their surprise. "Like it or not, I'm going to have to fight."

She looked ready to protest for a moment, but she nodded reluctant agreement. "I can at least make it easier for you to do."

"Anything you can do will help."

_*At least there's one good side. The Hangover is gone.*_

_)With Iron involved, I'm wondering if it really was a hangover.(_

* * *

><p>Chakwas taped my sides, and gave me some pain killers to take with me. I just hoped it was enough.<p>

Joker's voice sounded in my radio. "Uh Bourne,"

"Thank you for not using my rank."

"Right. Um, they don't really want us leaving Port."

"What do you mean?"

"If we leave, they're threating to shoot us down."

I groaned. "Continue final preparations for take-off, but stay put until I get up there. I'll talk to them myself."

"If I engaged the stealth systems-"

"We'd still be visible to the eye. Wouldn't be that hard to cripple the Normandy while it was still in port. Once we're up the air I'll let you take over, but for now, just listen."

_*I guess some of Iron's skills and mine bled into you.*_

_)Did you just now notice that? Hello, I'm a freakin Biotic! Even with the lost memory, I really doubt I had all that before.(_

_*I mean besides that. The rest of it could just as easily have been trained in. I mean that you're able to take command so easily.*_

_)__It was either that, or knock Garrus out and force Joker to take me their at gunpoint. I think that this one is better.(_

"Aye Aye Lt. Oh crap."

"I'll let it slide this time. But only because I don't have time to kick your ass right now."

I cut the radio and turned to Chakwas. "Armor. Need. Now."

She sighed and pointed to the corner where it had been stashed.

I began donning it, but stopped when I got to my chest piece. "Geez, what happened to this thing?" If I were to put it on, it would poke me in the chest. There was a clear dent in it.

"It stopped a bullet, and only barely. If you had upgraded five minutes later-"

"Great. Shepard is never going to let me hear the end of this." I muttered, turning it over and looking at it.

I ran my thumb over the cone formed by the bullet's impact. I activated my Biotics and pushed against it. I looked at it, satisfied. It still was a bit warped, but less noticeably now.

"Wouldn't it have been better to have someone professional look at that?"

I shrugged and finished getting the armor on. "Time isn't a luxury I have right now. This will have to do."

"Unless it doesn't stop a bullet this time."

"I haven't had anything yet that you couldn't patch up."

"I've heard a lot of marines say the same thing right before they went and hurt themselves so I couldn't patch them up."

"Good thing I'm not just any Marine." I chuckled, stepping through the door.

I hurried to the cock-pit, noticing the movement among the crew as they prepared to take off.

I coughed softly as I walked up behind Joker.

"Glad you're here Bourne. Maybe you can get them to listen."

"So why won't these these morons won't let us leave?"

A voice came over the radio. "I heard that."

I chuckled. "Yeah, that's cause I transmitted it."

There was a momentary silence. "Who is this?" The guy finally asked.

I swallowed my pride. "Lt. Jason Bourne of the Alliance Military. But more importantly, Agent Bourne, Spectre. That's already been verified."

"I am well aware of that. Your leaving, however, has not been verified."

" Are you trying to interfere with Citadel Business? That's a very good way to get this place investigated. And that's the last thing any of us want. Tell you what. You let us get out of here, and I'll forget to mention all the blatantly illegal activity I noticed here. But considering how long it would take to get people out here, that leaves plenty of time for you to be dealt with by your angry bosses."

_*That's BS. First of all, if it takes so long to get here, than it will give them time to get away and start over somewhere else. Secondly, how would they know that it was him? And thirdly, what Illegal activity?*_

_)__It's called bluffing. And do you really think that he'll think clearly when I'm so suggesting that he's going to die if he doesn't let us out of here.(_

_*There is no way that this is going to work.*_

There was a long silence, with both my conversation partners. "Normandy, you are cleared for takeoff. Be advised, there is a blizzard in some areas."

"Roger that. Normandy out."

_*Oh come on!*_

I turned to Joker. "Ever flown in a blizzard before?"

"I know how to handle a little bad weather. But you didn't tell me where we're going."

"Peak 15." I said simply.

"And you aren't going to tell me why we're going there, are you?"

"Very astute."

"You know that Shepard told me not to leave?"

"Is Shepard here right now? And more importantly, whose more likely to hurt you if you disobey their orders?"

"That's pretty close."

"Ok, who would hurt you worse?"

"Also pretty close..."

"Just get this heap of junk airborne already!" I said irritably.

"Geez, you forget your Coffee this morning?"

"Joker…" I glared at him, eyes glowing.

"Shutting up now Bourne."

"Good answer."

_*I can't believe that worked.*_

_()hey say you catch more flies with Honey, but I think scaring them works pretty well too.(_

_*That sounded too much like Iron to be comfortable.*_

_)We can't all be as calm and nice about it as you and Raptor. If it works, It isn't broken, and I don't need to fix it right now.(_

_*Considering how much can happen down there, maybe you do want to work on that.*_

_)If everyone survives this, I'll do all the leadership training you want.(_

_*I'm holding you to that.*_

_)I was making a point, not promising all that!(_

_*Too bad. You're still learning it.*_

_)Argh, fine.(_

"Bourne, are you sure about this?" Garrus asked, coming up behind me.

"I'm sure."

I saw the dock clamps unlatch from the ship's hull, and we began moving backwards.

"Joker, how long until we get there?"

"With the storm, I'd say our ETA is about 20 minutes, tops."

I nodded.

_*That might not be fast enough.*_

_)It's the best we're going to get. Besides, do you really think that Iron is any better a driver than Raptor?(_

_*….Probably not. But have you thought about what will happen when we do find them?*_

I stayed silent a moment. )_Hero, would it be possible for you to take over my body if you had too?(_

_*It would be harder for me than it is for Iron.*_

_)Why is that?(_

_*He's wired, or at least he was, into your cybernetics.*_

_)I'm a cyborg? That's just… actually, sorta cool. So wait, how are you hooked in?(_

_*Different set.*_

Something occurred to me, and it was like I'd been punched in the gut. )_Wait, but Raptor doesn't have cybernetics like that...(_

_*Oh no…*_

_)If we don't get Iron out of her soon-(_

_*It might be perminant.*_

_)… You said you could take control if you had to?(_

_*__Yes, why?*_

I hesitated, but I realized what might have to happen._)f I can't bring Iron out, if he takes over Raptor, If I hesitate,(_

_*You want me to kill her.*_

_)Iron is too dangerous to be left alive.(_

There was a long silence. _*If it comes to that, I will.*_

_)I'm hoping it won't come to that.(_

_*I know that Shepard's your friend, but she won't live forever. You know how little time there is until-*_

_)I know.(_

_*And you know that we also have to get that data on the relay? And save the Rachni?*_

_)I know Mom. Geez.(_

I looked ahead, though there was little more to see than snow. _But if I do fail… _I didn't even want to think about it.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, that should do it for now, because I need to replay part of Noveria real quick. And hopefully I'll have another chapter out tommorow.. But we should all know by now how unlikely I am to deliver when I promise.<strong>

**One quick thing though: Me and another author, Chris12225, have started a facebook group for fanfic authors. If you're intrested in joining, the name of the group is "Organisation of Authors". And yes, I know, it's spelled wrong. That's intentional. Ok, I just don't know how to spell it and don't want to look it up.  
>If you're intresting in Joining, message either "Altair Shepard" (Me.) or Reiker Thomas (Chris12225.) Note that it is not recomended to use your main facebook profile for this, although you can if you want. <strong>

**Until next time, Keelah Selai. Speaking of which, am I the only guy that actually likes Tali's face?**


	60. Choice

**Ok, can't think of an intro, so I'll just skip it. But I will say, based on what I've heard about the ending for ME3, I'm going to break my promise to myself to keep from going AU. Eh, f*** it. It's my story, I can do what I want, and screw the guys that actually own it. If they wanted me to use their stuff, they should have done a better job. Bourne warps Reality= Loophole. I'm glad that's already been established.**

**I can already think of a few things I'll change in the second game. And the other version of the second game. But I can't decide which version to do, so I'll let you guys vote later on.**

**Huh, so much for skipping the intro. **

* * *

><p><em>(Argh, why won't these morons just shut up and die already?) <em>Iron complained as they shot gunned another guard.

_(I mean, wiping out those Rachni was fun, but this is starting to get boring. I want to cause a species to go extinct.)_

_What makes you think you can?_

_(Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I'm the one in control of your body right now?)_

"Wrex, hit that group with an explosive burst! Tali, see if you can disable a few weapons." Iron shouted to the squad.

_(Oh well. At least I know that Benezia is in the next room. Then I can have some real fun.)_

_You don't really think that Bourne is going to let you get away with this?_

_(Bourne? That moron's still dreaming. Of course, I won in the dream too, same as I'll win in reality.)_

There was suddenly silence as the last guard fell.

"I don't know why she was stupid enough to think this would stop us." Iron said to no one in particular.

"She must have thought that the Rachni would slow us down." Wrex rumbled in reply.

"Good thing we brought you along then. We must be getting close."

* * *

><p>"We must be getting close." I said as the train pulled into peak 15 station.<p>

"How can you tell?" Garrus asked.

"Did you not see all the Rachni Corpses back where we came from? Not to mention, Mira told us that they came this way. Man, I'll bet Tali wasn't too happy about having to repair her."

"I admit Bourne, I doubted you before. But Raptor would never do something like this." Liara said.

I nodded agreement. _)Hero, where do you think Iron would have gone? This place is maze, and there's a billion possibilities for what he might have done first.(_

_*I think he'd go the fastest route: go down to the hot labs, then come back up and kill everyone.*_

_)In retrospect, I don't know why I asked.(_

I looked around.

"Which way Lt?" Liara asked.

"Give me a minute. I got some info on this place, now I just need to sort it out."

I looked at the doors, and I smiled.

_)Hero, isn't that door over there where we'd come out after all this? The one that leads straight to Benezia, and probably Shepards?(_

_*It's locked.*_

_)I'll take that as a yes._(

I walked over to it, followed by Garrus and Liara.

"Bourne, you know that that door is locked right?"

"Could you get it open?" Liara asked.

"I know a few things about tech, but I'm nowhere near as good as Tali. Why do we need this door anyway Bourne?"

I cracked my knuckles, standing behind the door. "If I'm right, this will lead straight to where we need to be. And as for being locked," I flared my Biotics "-it won't be for long." I hit it with a warp field, leaving a gap big enough for us to get through. "Come on."

"You haven't been subtle a day in your life, have you Bourne?"

"Hey, I could have kicked it in instead. "

* * *

><p>Iron stepped through the door, though Raptor was almost unaware of it this time. She felt like she hadn't slept for weeks, and she wanted to let go and fall asleep. She could barely even think.<p>

_Why?_

_(Can't even form a whole sentence now? Good. The sooner you die the better.)_

_If I die, you die._

_(Nope. Not how it works. You just disappear, and I'm left behind .Cool huh? Now shut up so I can kill your girlfriend's mom.)_

_Not female, monogendered._

_(Ok, if Bourne and I agree on something, don't you think that it must be true? And we both think that's just an excuse.)_

"You do not know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation. To shape a life. Turn it towards happiness or despair." Raptor suddenly noticed the Asari standing there.

_Benezia?_

_(Oh, right, I forgot about all this crap.)_

"Her children where to be ours-"

Iron interrupted. "Yeah yeah, I get it. You're indoctrinated and crazy. Can we just get to the part where we take you down?"

Benezia turned to them for the first time. "I won't be moved by threats."

"You sure about that?" Iron raised their shotgun.

"Have you faced an Asari commando unit before? Few humans have."

"Well, there's a first time for everything." A new voice said. Raptor felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders, but Iron cursed.

* * *

><p>"And now's a good a time as any." I finished, inches behind the matriarch. <em>God I love having built-in stealth.<em>

Benezia spun around to face me, shock etched across her face. Her Biotics flared, but I kneed her in the stomach, causing her to double over. "Lights out." I brought both fists to bear on the back of her head. There was a satisfiying silence.

"Garrus, Liara, I told you to keep Bourne on the ship." 'Raptor' said.

I crossed my arms. "Nice try, but do you really think that they'd be here if I hadn't told them what was really going on?" Liara and Garrus flanked me on either side.

"What do you mean?"

_*He's a good actor. Or she's a good actor, or… God this is confusing. Now I'm getting confused!*_

_)Yeah, having you in my head feels the same way some days.(_

I shook my head. "Drop the act Iron."

Raptor's face twisted in shock. "What? You can't be serious."

Tali looked between us in confusion, Wrex I couldn't read, and Ashley looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Jason, calm down. "

"Ashley, you tell me if you honestly think the real Raptor would have created all this carnage."

"Bourne, I'm really starting to wonder about you." Garrus said next to me.

_*This isn't going so well. Need a plan here.*_

I saw Iron moving closer to Tali, and I got one.

_*You can't be serious.*_

_)Desperate times call for desperate measures.( _

My pistol flew into my hand, pointed right at Shepard's head.

Moving with speed he never had in his own body, Iron grabbed Tali and put her own pistol to her head.

I put Tali in stasis before he could bother with a hostage.

"That look like the real Raptor to you? Trying to take her as a hostage?" I asked rhetorically. Everyone froze as the realizations hit home. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

The standoff was broken as a bullet hit me from behind, deflected by my shields. I put up a barrier, turning to the source, seeing multiple Geth and Asari.

A few swarmed around Shepard's group too.

"Keep them off of me. I'll deal with Iron." I shouted.

"Do what you have to do Bourne." Garrus told me as he took two of them down with one well aligned shot.

Iron snarled, and ran at me, shotgun in hand.

I just lifted him into the air with my Biotics, and disarmed him. Or disarmed her. Whatever.

The Asari and Geth were more a nuisance right now than an actual threat, especially with twice the squad I would have had in other circumstances. They were focusing their fire on everyone but me and Shepard. _Warping reality is really handy sometimes._

He struggled against my field, but I kept him spinning too much to get an aim. "You know Iron, I'm sort of surprised you chose her as a host body. You neglected to remember the Biotics when you left."

He snarled. "When I get through with you, you'll wish it was the Biotics." Raptor's voice, filled with Iron's menace, sent shivers down my spine.

"You aren't going anywhere but back where you belong."

"You want me back in your head? Just when I thought you couldn't be a bigger fool."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." I quoted. "And I'd rather deal with you myself than push you onto someone else."

I once again felt revulsion as Shepard's face twisted into Iron's evil grin. "If you were really smart, you'd kill us both right now. Raptor is begging you to."

"Even if I believed that, which I don't entirely coming from you, I know that there's other ways to deal with you."

"Are there? Raptor doesn't have the implants to allow me to remain along with her. Even now, she's struggling to keep what little control she has. In mere minutes, she will be gone from her own body, and it'll just be me left."

I pointed my pistol at her, his, face. "Then what's to stop me from killing you? You'd be sure to stay dead then. For all I know, Raptor is dead already."

"You think I'm falling for another bluff? I know you don't have the guts to kill your friend."

I lowered my voice, knowing that the others might be listening in. "I was willing to sacrifice Kaiden to save Ashley. What makes you think I won't make a sacrifice here?"

"You knew that you didn't have a choice then." Iron said, speaking in the same lower whisper as me. "Here, you have to make one."

"If you don't get out of her head, I will rip you apart so slowly, you'll be begging for death at the end."

He laughed evilly. "You think I'll fall for that? You aren't as much of a goody two shoes as Raptor and that other moron in your head, but you still have enough of those precious morals to stop you."

"Normally, yes. That little present you left behind pissed me off."

"I'd almost forgotten about it. So, how many people did I kill? Did they suffer? Oh, I hope so."

"What's the point of any of this Iron? Why not stick to revenge on Saren?"

"It's because of you! You're throwing the universe away from its intended path."

"I don't think that many people would complain if that happens." I said with a small smile.

"I know that Raptor will complain. And don't pretend you want to save her for some noble reason. You just don't want to offer your own neck for her noose."

I slapped him across the face, then froze. "God damn I wish I hadn't done that." I cursed as I facepalmed.

"Yeah, she's totally cursing you out now. By the way, you don't hit half as hard as she does. Wimp."

" I know. She's got some sort of superpower with that."

"And she did the mental equivalent of an eye-roll."

"I know."

"Better make a decision Bourne. She's fading fast."

I paced, still keeping them suspended. I sighed, and aimed my gun at them. "Then it looks like there's only one option left."

"At least you realize that now."

"Sorry Raptor." I aimed, and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet past Raptor's head. Iron was already heading into me though.

I dropped the gun, clasping my head as pain flowed through it. My Biotics flared, red tinted.

_(What? It was a trick?)_

_)Hero, Help me!(_

There was a sudden relief to my pain.

_(What? No!)_

_)Did you really think I was going to kill Raptor while any of her was left? I knew you' d be back as soon as I shot her, so I missed.(_

_(You outsmarted me! NO!) _His voice faded away.

_*I have him blocked off. He isn't getting out again. But it's blocking out both of our Biotic support. You'll have to use them on your own.*_

_)It'll work for now.(_

"Raptor!" Liara ran past me, kneeling at Raptor's side. "Wake up!"

I pulled her away gently. "She'll be fine. She's just knocked out." _)For your sake Iron, she'd better be.(_

_*She should be alright. She was still hanging on when he left.*_

_)How do you know?(_

_*Iron won't stop cursing at me about his master plan. I'm blocking him from you so he can't take over.*_

_)Thanks.(_

I stood up. Shepard's group came over to me, along with Garrus.

"Iron?" he asked.

"I have him contained. He won't be pulling this again. Liara, keep an eye on her."

I walked over to Benezia's unconscious form.

I picked her up Biotically, jolting her awake.

She struggled, but it was as futile for her as it had been for Iron.

"Sorry, I don't believe we've introduce. I'm Bourne. " I drew my shoulder knife. "And you're going to tell me what I want to know."

"Never. I won't betray Saren."

I sighed, counting down in my head.

"And I won't be moved by sympathies. No matter who is with you. What have you told him about me Liara?"

Liara looked up at her mother. "What could I say? That you're insane? That you're a monster? Should I explain the best way to kill you?"

"I'd go through the eye. Quickest way to the brain." Wrex put in. I glared at him, eyes blazing blue fire.

"Wrex, I suggest you shut up unless you want me to throw you through the nearest wall!" He actually backed up a few feet, and even I was startled by the venom in my words.

I snarled and turned back to Benezia.

"You can't stop Saren. My mind is filled with his light-" I spun her around in the Biotic field, until it even made me dizzy.

"I am not in the mood for this bullshit." I held her still, and rested my knife against her throat. "Mu Relay. Talk. Now."

She simply smiled, and I went flying backwards on my ass.

_*That could have gone better.*_

Everyone but Liara suddenly had a gun aimed at her. "Hold your fire." I shouted, getting back to my feet. "If I need a gun aimed at her, I have plenty of my own." I looked her in the eye, still counting down.

She suddenly doubled over, grasping at her head.

_About time. I was starting to get annoyed with the crazy indoctrinated version._

She stood back up, and spoke, her voice strained. "You must listen. I can fight Saren's influence, briefly. But he still whispers in my mind. The indoctrination is strong."

"Oh come on, not this indoctrination bullshit again." Ash said. "Let me guess, you weren't in control of your own actions?"

"Would you really rather she kept talking about Saren like he was some sort of god instead of getting to the point?" I replied.

"Then why is she in control now, while fifteen seconds ago, she was trying to kill us?"

"Good question. " I looked at her, cursing the waste of time. "Care to explain?"

"I sealed a part of my mind away from the indoctrination. Saving it for the moment when I could help destroy him. But it will not last long."

"So you could revert back at any moment?" Garrus guessed.

"Like what happened to Shiala." Tali added. She was staying noticeably closer to Garrus, and looking between Shepard and I warily. Not surprising, considering Iron's hate in particular for her. I made a mental note to ask about that later.

"It is a terror to be trapped in your own mind. To beat upon the glass as your hands torture and murder. I was powerless. Nothing but a tool for Saren."

"Lady, you're talking to the one person who could understand that." I said with a grimace.

She looked at me more closely. "Wait, Iron?"

I groaned. "Why do you people always assume he's in charge? I told you, my name is Bourne."

"I see. You are the one that was called Other."

"As far as I can figure out. I'm sketchy on some of the details."

She nodded. "I was given a secondary objective to destroy you if I had the chance. Saren was most displeased at the events of Virmire. He had to have cybernetics grafted to his face to repair the damage your partner caused."

I smiled. "Yeah, Shepard's one hell of a sharpshooter." My smiled faded. "I hope he felt the pain from that every fucking second he was getting it repaired."

"He underestimated you before, but he will not do so again." She shuddered. "I cannot fight him much longer."

"Let's not waste what time we still have then. Why did Saren send you here?"

"The Mu Relay. It's position was lost hundreds of years ago."

"So you found it? How?" Garrus asked.

I gestured to the Rachni queen in the tank behind her. "I assume the giant bug has something do with it?"

"2000 years ago, the Rachni inhabited that area of the galaxy."

"And she got the knowledge from her mother, since Queens share memories across generations. Mind melding?" For once, my voice didn't have the joking quality it normally had when I mentioned it.

"I was able to take it from her mind. I was not gentle." She admitted, looking away.

"And I'm guessing that Saren already has it?"

"I sent it to him minutes before you arrived. I transcribed this data to an OSD." I snatched it from her hand Biotically.

"I was not myself, but I should have been stronger." She lamented. She suddenly doubled over again, clutching at her head. "You have to stop me. I can't-"

"Mother!" Liara moved towards her, and I gestured to Wrex to block her. He did so, but Liara still tried to get past.

I looked into the ancient Asari's eyes, and I saw she understood.

She looked to her daughter. "Good night little wing. I will see you again with the dawn."

I grabbed her head with both hands. "Find peace in the embrace of the goddess." I intoned.

A quick movement was all it took to snap her neck.

I gently lowered her to the ground, hearing Liara sobbing in the background.

Hero was silent, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. But I was at peace with the choice. I hadn't killed out of necessity, or anger, but mercy.

Raptor's eyes suddenly shot open, and she sat up.

"You ok Shepard?" Garrus asked.

Raptor didn't reply, she just stood up, looking around as if in a trance. She walked over to tank housing the Rachni Queen.

_Oh yeah, I forgot about that._

"Yeah, we should probably decide what do about her, huh."

_*Give her a minute. Having Iron in her head can't have been easy.*_

_)Yeah, I guess you're right.(_

"Shepard? If you need a second, just say so."

She turned to face me, and I felt terror shoot through me as I saw the blank expression on her face.

"This one speaks as our voice. We cannot sing. Not in these low spaces." The Rachni Queen said through Shepard.

Despite what Hero had said about blocking out Iron, his evil laughter shot through my head.

* * *

><p><strong>And, cliffhanger. What? Are you really surprised by this point? At least I'm almost to the end. My goal is to be done by chapter 65. But I really doubt it'll be that easy to finish off.<strong>


	61. Fate

**Ok, this time I won't add an intro. But I will say, based on what I've heard about the ME3 ending, I think I'm glad Bioware owns it and is taking the heat instead of me.**

**60 chapters now, and I'd say anyone of them is better than that ending. Of course now if I don't use a different ending myself I'm going to feel like an idiot for saying that. But considering I've seen a dozen stories already with alternate endings, I don't think it would be that hard to do. I hope.**

**And I put in an intro anyway. Again. **

* * *

><p>A lot of things shot through my head. The first of which was a string of cursing and taking the lord's name in vain that would have shamed any sailor in the world.<p>

_*Is that really necessary?* _

_)My best friend is being controlled by a giant insect. I'd say it's pretty damn justified! If you want to help, shut up Iron so I don't have to listen to his laughing!(_

_*Oh, so now that he's back, I'm relegated to guard duty?*_

_)Sigh. Ok, point taken. Look, can you just shut him up, and then let me think myself? I need to sort this out.(_

"Shepard?" Tali questioned.

"I can tell already this is going to be fun." Garrus muttered.

I resisted the urge to blow up the tank with my Biotics. But mostly because I knew Iron would enjoy it. "Ok, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Shepard's being controlled by the giant bug."

"Yes. We speak for those left behind. For the children this one thought silenced. We are Rachni." It said through Raptor.

"Vakarian is right. This is going to be a fun conversation." Wrex rumbled.

Ashley sighed. "Am I the only one really confused?"

"No, I also expected Shepard to be taken over by the evil presence in my head and then by a giant bug." I said sarcastically. I walked past Shepard to the tank that housed the Rachni. "How are you speaking through her anyway?"

"Our kind sing through touching's of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colors we have no name for."

I looked right at the Rachni tank, fighting down panic. _Wait, in the game the Asari was dead/dying. But does that mean that Raptor's… No. My warping of reality wouldn't allow that._

_*Bourne, I of all people hate to be pessimistic, but even your abilities would have limits. Oh shut up Iron.*_

_)What's he saying this time?(_

_*He thinks he knows why your powers could allow it.*_

_)Do I even want to know?(_

_*Actually, it makes a weird sort of sense. The fact that you can warp reality seems sort of crazy, so I guess it makes sense that the crazy person could figure it out. It adheres to what you subconsciously believe. And since you know that Shepard died during playthroughs…*_

_)It leaves her vulnerable now.(_

_*Bourne, if she is dying…*_

_)You're the one that just said not to be a pessimist.(_

"What do you mean you don't know her 'colors?'" I asked.

"Her mind is fragile. It is not like anything we know. It is as if another presence is here as well."

I snarled. "If Iron ever gets out of my head again, I'm just going to shoot him. I don't care, that moron is going to fucking die. Maybe I'm lucky, he'll get into Udina or the Turian Counslers head."

_*You know that you said that out loud, right?*_

_)Crap.(_

I shook my head. "Is she injured or anything?"

"Your species is new. We have no knowledge of such matters."

"I hate to interrupt Bourne, but why exactly are we talking to this thing instead of killing it?" Wrex said.

I didn't turn, because even with my inherited abilities, too much emotion was showing on my face. "Wrex, I tell you what. If I decide to be democratic about what do with her, I'll more than happy to listen to your vote. But right now, I'm more in the mood for dictatorship, so shut up."

"We may as well. We already killed all her offspring down in the hot labs."

I heard Ashley turning towards him. "Here's an idea. Don't tell her that while she's holding the commander hostage."

I turned to face them. "Since Shepard is obviously unable to command right now, I'm taking command. Which means I need all of you to be quiet and let me negotiate this."

I was met with blank stares.

"Bourne? Negotiating? Might as well bury Shepard now." Wrex muttered.

"Ok then, how about you leave and go get me a shovel. Maybe then I can actually get something down without you butting in every five seconds." I said, glaring at him.

He just laughed, and I had to remind myself it was a bad idea to put me in stasis. Although two thirds of me wanted to. Iron wanted to shoot him instead.

"We would have silenced them ourselves. They were taken from us by the needle men. Without guidance, their songs had no pattern, only fear. Fear shattered their minds. They would only have caused harm."

Liara nodded. "That makes sense. A child left alone in a closet until the age of 40 would not be sane."

"40?" Ashley questioned.

"I suppose that the age would be younger for your species."

"That makes no sense, but if it's not going to be a problem, I don't care." I said, not in the mood for a long conversation about it. _Moot point anyway since Iron took care of that already. _

_*You aren't seriously thanking him?*_

_)One less thing I have to do. Though I would have done it without killing everyone else in the station.(_

"Ok, so why are you controlling Shepard? Because I don't know if you can see her memories, but I'm not someone to be annoyed, and your controlling my friend is rapidly wearing on my nerves."

"We have no wish to cause her harm. But before we release her, we stand before you. What will you sing? Will you release us? Or are we to fade away once more."

"Now can we be democratic?" Wrex asked.

"Am I the only one surprised to hear that coming from a Krogan?" Garrus asked.

"That thing is rigged with acid tanks. I say we use them. Or millions of my ancestors will have died in vain. Don't let them come back"

I sighed. "What about the rest of you? Where do you stand?"

"Bourne, she's the last of her kind. We don't have the… objectivity to judge her." Tali put in.

"I don't know Jason, I don't trust this thing. We know its kind are killers." Ash put in.

"They made a mistake. They let the Krogan go too far. This is a chance for us to atone. She has done nothing to us." Liara said.

"Liara has a point." Garrus put in. "If you kill her, you consign an entire race to death. We should let the Citadel council decide her fate."

I laughed despite myself. "I wouldn't trust those idiots with choosing what to wear to a bar. You think I'm letting them decide what to do about the last Rachni queen?" I turned around. "And more to the point, they aren't here. I am."

"You can't be serious." Wrex muttered.

I glared at him. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm not serious." I made my eyes blaze just for emphasis.

"Fine. Just make sure it's the right decision."

I turned back to the queen. "Wrex, I don't think there is a right decision. Just a decision that's less wrong than the others." I already knew the answer, but for their sake I asked anyway. "If I let you live, what will you do? Would you attack other races again?"

"NO. We… I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance. Songs the color of oily shadows."

"Am I the only one getting tired of all the music references?" Ash put in.

"We would seek a hidden place. To teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps they would return."

I nodded, and walked off a few feet.

"Well?" Wrex prompted.

"Let me think." I said irritably. _I figured that Shepard would let them go. Never thought I'd be the one actually making the decision._

_*But you know what she'd want?*_

_)Doesn't mean it's the best choice.(_

_*What?*_

_)I know these thing can help out against the Reapers, but should I really? The council already thinks I'm a loose cannon, but this would just seal the deal.(_

_*I can't believe you'd kill an entire species to improve your own reputation!*_

_)That reputation might be the only thing that saves this entire galaxy! There are a million opportunities for Raptor to die, and that's low-balling it. If that does happen, I'd have to be the one to take over.(_

_*That doesn't justify Genocide!*_

_)You think anything does? It's like I told Wrex. There is no right decision here.(_

_*Wiping them out is still a wrong solution.*_

_)I'm screwed either way.(_

_*Then what point is there in killing them?*_

_)It won't have an impact for longer than I care to think about. And it won't matter much then. Why shouldn't I stay focused on what matters now?(_

I turned around. "I don't want to kill you. But unless you can give me a better reason than this to let you live…"

"We have said all we can."

I hardened myself. "Then so be it. Make your peace with the galaxy."

_*Bourne, think about this! You'll only regret it later!*_

"You see our kind so frightening that you would silence us if you cannot muffle our songs?"

I moved closer to the control panel.

"Bourne, wait. Don't feel, think. Even if you disagree with Asari morals, you must see she could be an ally."

Liara's words stopped me in my tracks.

"And you know that this isn't what Raptor would want. If you have to take command, you could at least think like she would."

I stood frozen for a moment. Then I smiled, and the only reason I didn't laugh is because it would make me look crazy.

"You know something Liara, I think you have that backwards."

"What?"

"It's the opposite. Thinking logically instead of morally. I've been thinking the wrong way."

"Oh come one Bourne. You aren't seriously going to let these things go free so you can sleep better at night?" Wrex said.

I moved over to the control panel, but this time, reached for the other button. "My call Wrex. Not yours. If I wipe out an entire species, I'm no better than Iron. He's begging me to do it."

_*Actually, he's more whining about not getting to kill the squad than about not getting to kill the Rachni.*_

_)They don't need to know that. I haven't told anyone but Shepard about you after all. Stuff like that is need to know. Heck, if Iron didn't insist on causing havoc, he'd still be secret too.(_

"I'm a warrior, not a murderer. I'm letting this thing free." _Though I still think I'm going to regret it. At least I'll regret it less._

"You will give us a chance to compose anew? We will remember this. We will sing about your forgiveness to our children." The queen said through Raptor.

"Great. Now bugs are writing songs about me. Can't imagine how the day can get any better." I said, voice dripping with Sarcasm. "And don't thank me. I'm only doing this because Raptor would kick my ass otherwise. And if you weren't controlling her right now, It's what she'd do."

"Then we shall sing of you both."

"Argh. Fine, let it go free. But mark my words. The Krogan will clean up this mess just like we did for the Salarians." Wrex grumbled.

"If that happens Wrex, you can feel free to say I told you so." I said, hitting the switch. Shepard began swaying, and I caught her as the Rachni Queen released her. "Of course, I get the feeling that you'll have plenty of back up on that." The tank slid up, and the queen made a noise I guessed was gratitude as it crawled off.

"Is she alright?" Liara asked me as I lowered her unconcious form to the ground.

"I think so. Let's get her back to the Normandy." I activated my com. "Joker, it's Bourne. I'm heading back to the outpost where you dropped us off."

"Aye Aye Bourne. Wait, why isn't Shepard yelling at me for disobeying orders?"

"I really wouldn't mention that to her Joker. Let's just say it's her turn to get patched up by Chakwas."

"That'll be a change."

"I suppose you want me to carry her?" Wrex rumbled.

"Nah. You can be the bait in case there's any Rachni left."

"Lovely."

* * *

><p><strong>And, fin.<strong>

**Wow. Now I just have to deal with the Council, deal with a few other idiots, then head to Illos. Man I'm close to being done with this thing. Than I can work on the second game, which I always liked more anyway.**

**In fact, I'm doing two of the second game. And a sequel for each of course.**

** But since I can't decide what to do first, I'm letting you. And come on, I know that there's about two hundred of you minimum. So please vote. I'll put the poll on my profile, with the minor discription of each. Not all the details, just the main difference. But still, that's a big difference. I'll do them both, but I can't decide which to do first. I won't even be biased, I'm letting you decide. Unless I don't actually have people voting. Min 50, or I'll just flip a coin. But I do want your feed back on this.**

**Until next time, Keelah Selai. Unless you work for Bioware, in which case I suggest you visit your local chocolate factory and go fudge yourself for such a lame ending to ME3.**


	62. Aftermath

**I think I've had an epiphany. I was re-reading my very early chapters, making my eyes throw up in the process, when I realized why they so much worse. Not just that I had even less of an idea how to write than I do now, but also that they follow the game too closely. The real selling points are things that never happened in the game, IE Iron, and taking over Raptor's body. **

**I'm not saying I'm going to completely diverge from the game; I don't have nearly enough energy to do that. But I figure even with Bourne's warping of reality, things can get changed around slightly to make it more interesting. And to put in my favorite characters even if Bioware didn't want them there. It's called Fan fiction for a reason.**

**Speaking of things that are going to be changed around slightly, before I move onto the sequel (Which you still have an opportunity to vote on which of the two versions I'll do first) I'm going to go back over the story and make it as good as I can. And I don't mean like I did the first time, I mean completely re-establishing everything and getting rid of the mary-sue parts or plot holes in the early parts. First 19 chapters- gone. Delete, Redo, sequel. That troll I mentioned a while back actually gave me some good pointers by mistake. I love Karma.**

**I'd also like some help on a few things, and if anyone is interesting in answering a few survey questions, please PM me, because I could use some help. It may seem like I know what I'm doing but… yeah, I don't think I need to finish that to get my point across. I'm better, but despite all the flattery you guys lay on, I'm not naive enough to think I'm great. **

**And now to the part you actually came here to read:**

* * *

><p><em>"Bourne, I don't think this is going to work." Hero said, a slight frown on her face.<em>

_"What do you mean?"_

_"He's not going to tell us anything, no matter what you do to him." She said, gesturing to Iron's bound form._

_"I know." I emphasized this with a swift roundhouse kick to Iron's face. "This is just for fun now."_

_I also emphasized this with a roundhouse kick._

_"Who do you think you are? Chuck Norris?" He laughed, then coughed and spat up a tooth._

_I chuckled. "Well, I can-"_

_"Don't." Hero interjected, guessing my line of thought._

_"Fine." I grumbled. "You're as much of a buzz kill as Raptor."_

_"Only when you get on my nerves."_

_Iron laughed. "If that's true, I must be the biggest buzz kill in the world."_

_I shut him up with a punch to the jaw. "I've had enough of your garbage. Talk! How did you get out of my head?"_

_He smiled, despite his now bleeding lip. "If I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret." He laughed, making my skin crawl. _

_I groaned. "Was he always this annoying, or does he just seem more so because I got rid of him for a few hours?"_

_Hero looked at him, then back to me, face as unreadable as mine could be. "I think he's retreated even farther from sanity."  
>She frowned. "I wonder if his abrupt exit from Raptor had something to with it."<em>

_"Oh, You're getting warmer." Iron said in a singsong voice._

_I back handed him. "Shut up unless you have something useful to say."_

_Iron burst out into laughter. "It's all useful, just not to you."_

"Jason?" _I heard a distant voice ask._

_I sighed. "Hero, make sure he doesn't jump into anyone else."_

_Iron smiled. "You can't fool me Bourne. You aren't worried about what I'd do to them, You're worried what you'd do to them if I was inside them. You couldn't resist killing me, no matter who I jumped into."_

_I didn't dignify that with a response. I instead focused myself on where I needed to be._

* * *

><p>My eyes popped open as I left the strange reality my mind projected for the three of us. I saw the others at the other end of the train car, hovering over Shepard, laying across two seats. I had purposely isolated myself to "Think". In reality, Hero and I were <span>trying<span> to interrogate Iron.

"I think she's waking up." Ash continued. I had to remind myself that time flowed differently for me in that world. What felt like a minute in there was a mere moment in the real world, thanks to Reality Warping. Or the other way around, depending on the circumstances. To Ash, my eyes had probably opened the second she said my name.

I stood up. "How far are we from the Peak 15 outpost?"

"Not long. According to the VI, we're about five minutes out."

I nodded, and walked over.

Shepard groaned.

I leaned over her. "Shepard? Can you hear me?"

Her eyes popped open.

Then her fist went swinging and hit me square in the face.

I stumbled back, cursing.

_*How is she that good at throwing punches?*_

_)Magic.( _I deadpanned. _)Fucking Magic.(_

"Geez skipper, you could at least wait for him to annoy you." Ash said, trying to hide a smile.

I decided silence was the best course of action, though I grit my teeth slightly. _Let the wookie win Bourne._

_*You might want to apply that to Krogan too.*_

_)I can Biotically rip apart a Krogan. Raptor's tougher than that.(_

_*Just be glad she isn't a Biotic. I hope.*_

_)What the hell does that mean? Last time I checked, she's just a really deadly soldier.(_

_*With Iron in her head, who knows what happened.*_

_)Ok, doesn't that seem a bit far-fetched? Even with this whole situation?(_

_*Do you really want to take that risk?*_

_)Point taken. I'll have Chakwas triple check her when we get back.(_

Raptor sat up, still eying me warily.

I raised an eyebrow. "What? Is there something in my teeth?"

She relaxed visibly. "Ok, it's actually you. Your friend said something about taking over you when he left."

I realized my hands were clenched. "Iron is anything but a friend. And if he ever ends up in a body with a real throat again, I'm going to strangle him." I growled.

I forced myself to smile. "But if you need me to prove it's me, I could think of a few ways."

"No."

"You sure?"

"Bourne…"

"Fine."

Shepard rubbed her forehead. "God, I don't know how you put up with th-"

I shook my head. "Now is neither the time nor place to discuss it."

_*Where else?*_

_)I don't know that this place isn't tapped. Remote as the possibility is, I don't want Cerberus or the Shadow Broker or someone finding out about you.*_

_*Hmm, that's a good point. But Saren specifically mentioned Iron back on Virmire, and hinted at me.*_

_)Exactly. That's already enough of a risk, without talking about my knowledge of the future. Iron didn't say whether he told her anything about that.(_

Raptor glared at me, eyes as dangerous as my own could be. "No Bourne, we need to talk now."

_)Well, that isn't encouraging.(_

I narrowed my eyes, and made them glow back. _*You know that she's going to win this. She's more stubborn than you are.*_

_)I doubt that.(_

_*Don't test it, please. I just know it's going to end badly.*_

I glanced at Liara, lowering my voice. "I agree that we need to talk Shepard. But you should talk to her first. She just lost her mother, and nearly lost you."

I turned before she could reply. "I want a complete sweep done of this base. The last thing we need is one of those insane Rachni on the loose or a Geth that can report to Saren."

I pointed at them, grouping them off. "Wrex, Tali, Ash, you check the main reactor and VI core. Garrus, you and I will check the roof. Liara, you stay here with Shepard. Stay in contact, the last thing I want to here is that you've been eaten by a giant bug."

I shrugged. "Well, actually the last thing I want to hear is these two-"

"Bourne, if you say one more word, they will never find your remains." Shepard said, glaring.

_*Let the wookie win*_

_)Agreed. Especially since she'd do a lot more than rip my arms off.(_

_*Uggh*_

_)What?(_

_*Let's just say Iron is very…creative in that respect. And not in a good way.*_

_)Ah.(_

"Move out." I stopped at the door. "Shepard… for what's it worth, I'm sorry you went through that."

"It wasn't your fault Bourne."

"I wish I could believe that."

"It wasn't."

I shook my head. "We can argue about it later. Garrus, I'll go ahead, cover me, and be ready to nail something in the head."

"That I can do."

* * *

><p>Shepard took a deep breath, then opened the door to what had been her quarters for about a week. Bourne turned before it was even completely open; he'd obviously been expecting her.<p>

"How're you holding up?" he asked without preamble. "Chakwas find anything odd?"

"Nothing unexpected, considering. I'm just glad she didn't pry too deep about what happened." Shepard crossed her arms. "I could ask the same about you. Iron is…" she trailed off, unable to find words.

"Evil would be an understatement. And to him, it'd be a compliment." Bourne agreed. "I'm amazed anyone else could survive against him. Even you."

She shook her head. "How do you handle him?"

He shrugged. "I guess I must have been trained by Saren, but I don't know. That's the irritating thing about having amnesia."

"I can relate." Shepard said dryly.

"Oh, right, sorry." He said sheepishly. "Point is, he's not exactly open to talking about it. Not that he remembers much more than me."

"Are you sure having him back is the best option? What if-"

"He's my problem, and I'd rather deal with him myself than push him onto someone else. Especially you. You'll have enough problems without him."

She crossed her arms. "Yes, about that… you know more than you let on."

He sighed. "How much did he tell you?"

"What do you think he told me?"

He laughed. "Oh come on Shepard, that's the oldest trick in the book."

"It was worth a shot."

"I'd like to know how he got out in the first place. I've been trying to work it out of him, but without much luck."

"Can't you have… damn it, what was his name, Hero? Can't he help?"

"Hero's been helping me keep Iron under wraps ever since I got the maniac back." He seemed to be fighting a smile, though Shepard couldn't guess why. "What about the giant bug?"

"Couldn't you have just said Rachni?"

"I could have."

"I don't remember a lot of it. I think I got knocked out or something."

"Sure looked like. I had to use the Biotics to carry you out to the tram. It was like carrying-"

"Bourne, think about what you're saying very carefully." Shepard said, menace evident in her tone.

"I may push the boundaries every once in a while, but I'm not dumb enough to go into that territory. I just mean that you were as limp as a corpse. If I hadn't been monitoring your vitals through the suit, I might have thought you were one."

"I barely even remember it."

Bourne didn't reply, but he seemed to be on guard. "What do you remember?"

"You made the right choice in letting the Rachni go." Shepard said, taking a guess.

"Is it what you would have done?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But you're the one with all the answers."

He laughed harshly. "All the answers? I'm lucky I even know the questions. All these big decisions… that's supposed to be your job."

"Then why did you come along?"

"If I had a cred for every time I've asked myself that question, I'd be able to buy my own replica of this junk heap Joker loves so much. Honestly Shepard, there wasn't much else I could do. It would have been fighting no matter what I wanted. And if we don't stop Saren, there won't be anything left." He sighed. "And even that is only the beginning."

"How bad?"

Bourne looked at her, considering. "Shepard, despite how often you send me seeing stars, I consider you my friend. You have enough problems."

"How bad?" Shepard repeated, stronger.

Bourne's eyes narrowed. "Well, Iron keep rambling on about it, and laughing. That should give you some idea."

"Bourne, if you have information-"

"Information is only good if it can be used. Half of what I know won't happen for 2 years. And that's only the beginning. Time is… god, I nearly went into nerdy philosopher mode about it. Point is, lots of those choices are dependent on choices made now. Say someone found out a way to control the Geth. If I were to go and kill them... you can see what I mean."

"Hold on. Didn't you say that your being here created some sort of… paradin?"

"Paradox. I'm starting to wonder how much it really works. If it was exact, Alenko would be a smoldering pile of ashes right now, and you wouldn't have blown off half of Saren's ugly face. And it would have been you deciding the Rachni's fate."

"Bourne, what's so bad that you won't tell me?

"If I told you what I didn't want to tell you that would sort of defeat the purpose. Shepard, if there's one thing you can trust me on, it's that I'd never hold back something truly important. But I'm also going to at least try to be smart about it."

"That'd be a first."

He rolled his eyes. "If you're all rested up, I suggest we head to the com room. We need to figure out our next move."

"Which is?"

"That's what I just said. I'm still debating." He sighed. "And the Council is going to be pissed at us, considering we freed the last Rachini."

"We? You're the one that pushed the button."

"Because you were being controlled by the ugly thing."

"I'm guessing you changed the report up a little?"

"Omitted any mentions of Iron. I changed my reason for going after you again to new intel that turned out to be false."

"Makes sense."

"And I made it seem like it was your idea to free them."

"Excuse me?"

"I was going to kill them until something Liara said changed my mind. And when I thought about it, it seemed more like what you would do."

"So they're going to be pissed at me too?"

"Hey, look on the bright side. This time we can share instead of them only being angry with me."

"Bourne, I know there's a reason I don't shoot you, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is."

"Duly noted. Might as well get it all over with though."

"Let's head up there"

"Let's hope Wrex isn't too hung up on it. It was your idea after all."

"Good thing. You wouldn't be able to take him. He doesn't stand a chance against me though."

* * *

><p><strong>Fin. Please note that I finally got Mass Effect 3, so there's a good chance updates will be less frequent.<strong>

**Also, I can't wait until I get to that point now. Bourne Vs Kai Leng… that'll be interesting.**

**Don't forget to vote for which sequal I do first. I barely have half the votes I'd like, especially considering how many of you guys read this. **


	63. Opposition

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, EDI would have gotten that body a lot sooner. **

**And I would have ended the third game with something that wasn't universally hated and topped by Fanfiction. Seriously, if there's anybody who works for Bioware, or knows someone that does, tell them to make some sort of update so you choose more than a color for the giant kaboom. **

**I finally finished that game, and the ending was just as lame as I'd heard. I don't care how much Bourne warps reality, I'm not doing that in my story. **

**Edit: Holy balls, I just read on Yahoo that they actually are changing it. Though I'm not honestly suprised. I hope they can actually do a better job this time, because the game was great other than those last few minutes.**

**Edit again: This isn't the new chapter, the new chapter is actually back at chapter 54. I started working on it way back, but figured better late than never.**

* * *

><p>"So what's our next move?" Wrex asked as everyone filed in.<p>

"Stop Saren. He has everything he needs, where the conduit is, and now he has a way to get there." I smiled grimly. "But so do we."

"Bourne, you'll forgive me if I don't just take your word for it." Garrus said. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you've forgotten to tell us about all this?"

I glared at him. "Now that you mention it, no. If I did, I'd probably just want to kill Saren more than I already do. And that would be something."

"Tell you what Bourne. When we find him, you can even out his face for me." Shepard said with a small smirk.

I glanced at Garrus, knowing his face wouldn't look so different in a few years. I fought to keep my poker face as I looked back at her. "I just might have to take you up on that."

"Whatever we do, we need to hurry. For all we know, Saren may already have gotten to the thing." Shepard said with a shrug.

"There's just the tiny problem of the Mu Relay being inside the Terminus systems." Garrus said. "And we still don't know what the Conduit is. Unless Bourne can shed some light on that."

_Ok, that's it!_

_*Bourne, don't. He already distrusts you enough. And shut up Iron!*_

_)What's he laughing about now?(_

_*He's been laughing ever since Raptor confused me as a guy. Thanks for correcting her on that by the way.*_

_)I never told her either way. If she wants to make that assumption, it's her business.(_

_*Now I know why she wants to hit you so often.*_

_)Well, do you really want to have that conversation?(_

_*She got Iron in her head, I don't see how that's different.*_

_)…Bad argument.(_

_*Ok, yeah, good point.*_

I took a deep breath. "Garrus, what part of 'I have memory loss' do you not get? Even if Saren would have trusted Iron, which I doubt, why would he have told him his master plan? Saren's indoctrinated, but even he'd be able to tell Iron is a pyscopathic murdering scumbag that couldn't be trusted as far as he could be thrown."

_*That was poetic.*_

_)Just trying to get my point across.(_

_*But you do know exactly what's going to happen.*_

_)And last time I tried to change things, it got even worse.(_

_*What happened to Kaiden wasn't-*_

_)Don't give me that bullshit. It was still my decision.(_

"You don't know anything?" Garrus pressed. "You forget that I was C-sec. I know when someone's holding something back."

"Yeah, I am holding something back. I'm holding myself back from punching you, but I'm really starting to question if that's really worth the effort."

Raptor groaned. "If you two don't stop arguing, Saren is going to be the least of your problems."

"Shepard, I don't know why you keep trusting him! He's almost killed all of us, and look what happened to Alenko."

My Biotics flared, and I didn't bother trying to restrain them. "What do you want from me Vakarian? Cause we all know 'I'm sorry' won't cut it. So either get over it, or get lost. I never asked you to show up and put yourselves at risk. I know Iron's a threat, better than anybody. But compared to what will happen if Saren calls back the Reapers, Iron is going to look like a small time con-artist!"

I paced back and forth, blue fire spinning around me. "You want something I know about Sovereign? It is going to try to kill every goddamn sentient species in the galaxy. It now will have a personal vendetta against us. It is the sole reason I'm standing here, with Iron stuck in my head. And if you get in the way of me getting back at that ugly Squid, so help me god you will regret it!"

"Bourne, will you please stop being so dramatic?"

"Shepard, if you don't trust me on anything else, trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about. You saw those beacons as well as I did. Hell, with your girlfriend sorting it out for you, you might have seen it better than me."

She opened her mouth to yell at me, but I cut across her.

"If you don't like me, fine. If you don't respect me, fine. If you don't want me in charge, I understand that. But even if you won't trust me on anything else, you can trust that I want Saren dead. And if I have to commit goddamn high treason to do that, I will do so without a second's hesitation!"

I glared at him, but he stayed silent this time.

"Bourne, remind me to never get on your bad side." Shepard said, sighing.

"Don't worry. Saren is right at the top of my shit list, and it would take a lot to get past him."

"It will take a lot to get past him. He probably has his entire fleet around Illos." Shepard said, setting off a red flag in my head.

_)Uh oh, I don't like where this is headed.(_

_*You aren't seriously going to try to avoid that whole "Normandy is grounded" incident, are you? What happened to "Changing things just make them work?"*_

_)No, I'm just going to lay back and let the Council screw us over. Why would I want to avoid that? I can't imagine.(_

_*Sarcasm is the weakest form of humor.*_

_) I know It's a slim chance, but it's still a chance.(_

_*If you want to try it, go ahead. But I think we all know it's pointless. Although Iron is encouraging you to try it.*_

_)Because he wants to see me fail?(_

_*Yep.*_

_)Remind me to kick his ass again later.(_

* * *

><p>"The Normandy's stealth systems would get us in easy." Bourne said, crossing his arms.<p>

"Yes, but we would still be visible to the naked eye." Tali pointed out.

"I really doubt Geth have windows. It'd be a structural weakness. Come on, isn't anyone going to back me up on this? Every second we're here is a second Saren is getting closer to where he wants to be."

"Jason does have a point. I mean, if we don't stop him, what's the point of all this."

"Williams, I think you're just saying that because you're close to Bourne." Garrus said.

"That's beside the point."

Shepard sighed. "Even if we do find him, do you really think we could stop him on our own?"

"What's the alternative?" Ashley pointed out.

"We go to the Council and get back up."

Bourne laughed. "Good one Shepard. But seriously, what options do we have?"

Shepard felt her hand reaching down towards her gun involuntarily. "Bourne…"

"Well, let's look at the council's record. Things they've done right: Making you a Spectre. Ok, done. Things they've done wrong: Genophage, kicking the Quarians out, first contact war, letting Saren get away when they had the chance… did I miss anything?"

"Making you a Spectre." Garrus said with what Shepard guessed was a smirk.

"Why do you think I said "Making you" instead of "making us"? I'm not that arrogant. Most of the time."

"Bourne, do you honestly think we can stop Saren without help?" Shepard asked.

He paused, looking at her. His expression seemed distant for a few seconds. He blinked, and his eyes came back into focus. "Saren we could stop. But it's Sovereign that's the real threat. " He sighed. "And I don't care how good a pilot this junk heap has, we do need back up on that. And I guess we need to warn the Council about it. Though if they actually believe it, I'll eat my boots."

"I didn't realize your boots were edible." Tali said, and Shepard heard some humor in her voice.

"Well Saren better hope they're dextro edible, because I'm planting them through his face when I get the chance."

"Joker, patch us in to the council." Shepard ordered. "The rest of you, dismissed."

Bourne sighed and walked over the com. "What are the odds they're going to be pissed at me?"

"Didn't you say you said that it was my idea?"

"Yeah, but I doubt they'll actually believe it."

"Good point."

The holograms materialized, and Shepard could see almost immediately that they were pissed off.

"Bourne, is this report accurate? You found Rachni on Noveria?" The Asari said, waving a data pad that obviously held said report.

"Figures. The one time you guys actually read the report…"

"And you set them free?" The Turian thundered.

"I take it you're a bit angry about that?"

"Bourne, this is no joke! Perhaps you humans are too new to the Galaxy to remember the Rachni Wars of a thousand years ago, but this is still much too far. The destruction they could cause… how many generations before they return? Will our children pay for your mistake?"

Shepard cleared her throat, but Bourne cut her off.

"Then you'll be happy to know I lied. I actually killed the queen, so the Rachni are extinct."

Shepard looked at Bourne, and his face was unreadable. _What the hell is he doing? _Then she saw the ever so slight smile, and decided to let this run its course.

"You what? Do you get some sort of thrill out of causing a genocide Bourne?"

"What, was it the wrong move?"

"Clearly! Wiping out an entire species-"

Bourne chuckled. "That's funny. About twenty seconds ago, you were saying that I was wrong to set them free. So which is it? Should I have set them free, or should I have killed them? Because it sounds like you wouldn't like either option."

The Turian froze with his mouth still open, trying to work out what Bourne had just said.

"So it seems like you don't like either option, in which case, why are you complaining about it so much?"

The Asari sighed. "Alright Bourne, you made your point, albeit in a rather extreme fashion."

Bourne crossed his arms, not even bothering to hide a smile.

Shepard groaned. "Bourne, next time you do something like that, at least give me some warning. Or better yet, don't do it in the first place."

"No promises." _At least he's honest about it._

"Is there anything further to add?" The Asari asked.

"Well, there's that whole thing about now Saren can find whatever it is the conduit is. And If I'm right, and I usually am, it involves Reapers, and won't be good for us." Bourne said, amusement fading.

"Bourne, do you really still believe this nonsense?" The Turian asked. "The Reapers are clearly a myth."

Bourne sighed. "I don't know why I bothered calling. Forget this, Shepard, you can hang up this time." He turned away from the console and headed towards the door.

"Bourne, you are testing our patience."

"Deal with it." He called back as he walked through the door way.

Shepard glared at his retreating back.

"I am beginning to wonder why I agreed to his Spectre status." The Turian muttered.

"Because he gets the job done." Shepard said, turning back to the council. "He's a fighter, not a negotiator. But when it counts, he makes the right calls."

"Hmph. I have yet to see him make a right call. Freeing the Rachni-"

"With all due respect counselor, that was my decision as well."

"That does not change my point.'

The Asari interrupted. "Bourne is obviously an asset to you."

"Honestly, he's saved my life more times than I can count. And I've returned the favor. We might not always see eye to eye, but we make a great team. "

"Yes, I've seen mention of this in your reports." The Salarian agreed. "But, I agree with Councilor Sparatus. I'm not convinced that making Bourne a Spectre was necessary."

Shepard frowned. "There's been plenty of times that both of us having Spectre stasis has come in handy. One Spectre makes people take note, but two makes people even more willing to work with us." She chuckled. "And it doesn't hurt to have a 'bad cop' every once in a while."

"I assume that is a human phrase?"

"It means that if I can't convince them to do it by negotiating… Bourne's knives and Biotics can be very convincing most of the time."

"Hmph. It sounds more like Bourne is a brutish fool that has no sense of the importance given by the role." The Turian muttered.

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "I don't know, he didn't seem like such a fool a few moments ago. He made you look like the fool."

"Careful Commander."

"Just trying to make a point. And with all due respect councilor, even if we are wrong about the Reapers, Saren still has Sovereign, and an entire Geth fleet. We know where he's headed now, and one ship is not enough to stop him."

The Asari nodded. "You believe he intends to attack the Citadel?"

"It wouldn't surprise me."

The Turian sighed. "I won't pretend for a moment to believe in Reapers, but I am aware that Saren and his Geth are a threat."

_Yeah, once Bourne and I beat you over the head with it._

"Very well Commander, we must think about this before we make a decision."

"Just make sure it's the right one." Shepard said, barely able to keep from hitting the button to terminate the call.

The council nodded, and the holograms disappeared.

"I hate those guys."

Shepard sighed, not even surprised anymore. "How long were you actually there?"

"I was on the other side of the door way. Good ears come in handy. Remind me to ask Joker for some help getting even with the Turian."

"Bourne, you cannot… wait, how could Joker help?"

"He'd know where I could find certain… subscriptions I could subscribe the counselor to. Then again, maybe Krogan would be better. Much more disgusting to watch."

"I really hope I'm wrong about what you're thinking of doing."

"Yeah, good point. Elcor would be even worse. Eh, I'll just subscribe him to both types. I just hope it doesn't backfire. He might actually be into that. Ugh, there's an image I didn't need."

"Bourne! You cannot subscribe the Turian Counsilor por-"

"You're right, I should do that to all three. Although I guess that wouldn't work so well on the Asari, since they swing every which way."

Shepard sighed. "There's nothing I can do to stop you from doing that, is there?"

"You could tell on me."

"Bourne, if you hadn't saved me from Iron today, I'd knock you out right now."

"Duly noted." He said with fake solemnness, then he burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing, just something Hero said about agreeing with you."

"You haven't told me much about him. I know Iron's bad-"

" Bad? Bad? At one point, he sacrificed three fourths his team to finish off a squad of batarians that had surrendered. Bastard actually liked being called the "Butcher of Torfan." Like I said, evil is an understatement."

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "I seem to remember reading something about that. The person even got the same moniker."

"I know. Same goes for the "Lion of Elysium", am I right?"

"I think I've heard of her too."

"Yeah, that was Hero in the right universe. And here, well…"

"I'm known as the sole survivor of Akuze." Shepard said blandly.

Bourne's face went unreadable again. "Pretty much."

"How can we be the same, but so different?"

"Short Version: I have no idea."

"What's the long version?"

"I have no idea whatsoever and half wish I did." He said with a small smirk. He shrugged "Or it might be reality warping, or some weirdness with the timeline. I'll let you decide. All I know is, I'm glad it's Iron stuck in my head and you that's actually in charge instead of the other way around."

Shepard crossed her arms. "A few hours ago, he was in my head."

"I know. I'm still trying to-" he stopped, his eyes getting that glazed look again. "Ok, fine, _Hero_ is trying to figure out how. Happy now? Geez."

"So, Hero is more like me?"

"I guess. Personality is mostly the same, but an Adept, not a straight up Soldier like you. Iron was a Vanguard. I guess that puts me somewhere in between. Skills bleeding over."

"Me as a Biotic. God, I can't even begin to wrap my head around that." Shepard shook her head. "How do you handle him?"

"I can usually block them out. Or Hero can block Iron out, make sure the lunatic stays where he needs to."

"Hero sounds like a hell of a guy."

"I'm glad we're allies instead of enemies." He seemed to fighting a smile.

"Ok, what's so damn funny? It looks like you're about to burst out laughing."

"Nothing."

"Does it involve me and Liara?"

"Not this time."

"Just tell me."

He flinched suddenly. "Ok ok, geez. Using my own weapon against me. Why not just do nails on a chalkboard? That would be better than that song."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"… I said that out loud, didn't I?'

"Obviously."

"Let's just say she's not happy with me."

"She?"

"For the record, I never said Hero was a guy. You said that, and I just didn't bother to correct you."

Shepard just sighed. "Somehow, I'm not even surprised by this point."

"There, I told her. Happy?"

"You said that out loud again."

"Damn it!"

He threw up his arms. "Argh, I can't even think straight. If you need me, I'll be-"

"Shooting something in the range?"

"No, I'm getting something to eat. I just realized I haven't had anything but a protein bar since this morning. Biotics are exhausting, even with my enhanced indurance. I'm about ready to eat the door!"

"That somehow surprises me less."

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, I am getting close to the end. Then I just need to go back and change the beginning, maybe add a few chapters, fuse some together, etc.<strong>

**Until next time, Kelah Selai. **


	64. I wish I was normal like everyone else

**I don't own Mass Effect. It should quickly become obvious why.**

**Also, in case I didn't quite explain it, I put in a new chapter at 54, and pushed all the other chapters forward. I had started that a while back, but it was taking so long, I decided to skip it and work ahead. Not sure that I was clear on that.**

* * *

><p>I woke up stifling a scream, Iron's laughter still ringing in my ear.<p>

_)Iron, if you ever get a neck again, I'm wringing it. Slowly. Painfully. And then I'll shoot you in the head to be sure you're dead.(_

_*It wasn't even his fault that time. Your subconscious is just smart enough to know he's a threat. And it's apparently very creative about it.*_

_)You can see my dreams?(_

_*Just because you're asleep, doesn't mean Iron and I are.*_

_)So Iron could take over while I'm asleep?(_

_*If I weren't here maybe. But don't worry, I've got him trapped good.*_

_)Weird that I sleep but that you two don't.(_

_*If one of us was in control, we'd probably have to sleep and you wouldn't.*_

_)Great. So If Iron ever takes over, I don't even have the ability to sleep through it.( _ I thought with morbid humor.

I shook my head, bringing up my Omni-tool to check the time, and grimacing when I saw it.

_Everyone is probably going to be up in an hour anyway. _I sighed, then began getting dressed. _No point in trying to get back to sleep I guess._

_*Well at least you shouldn't miss it.*_

_)Because Iron knocked me out for several hours yesterday?*_

_*I meant because you don't need as much sleep as a non-genetically-modified person.*_

_)Oh. Right.(_

_*If there's one good thing to be said about Saren, it's that he knows how to build a soldier.*_

_)Thanks, because being reminded I'm just a weapon is just what I need right now.(_

_*Sorry, just making an observation.*_

_)Well don't. People said the same thing about Cerberus and the SR-2. Great, thinking about that just made it worse.(_

_*Well Iron has some consolation if you can believe it.*_

_)I might not live long enough for that to matter?(_

_*… Pretty much.*_

_)Hey Iron, next time you try escaping, can you aim for the Turian Counselor? So I can kill two birds with one Biotic Knife?(_

_*Just so you know, He's laughing at you.*_

I groaned.

_Might as well get up and do something to eat. Not like anybody else will be up this early._

_*Biotics are supposed to eat huge amounts. It's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm amazed you were able to go so long on low amounts before that huge meal yesterday.*_

I ignored Hero, and resolved to avoid ever taking Ash out to dinner. I'd look like a pig then.

_*Again, that's normal.*_

I sighed. _)Ok, since you're the only Biotic I can ask, how often do you think I'd have to super feast like that? As opposed to just eating normally?(_

_*Hard to say. The only other Biotic I knew that was Genetically modified was Miranda, and she usually had to eat that much.*_

_)So you have no idea.(_

_*No. Sorry, but I guess you'll just have to figure it out.*_

_)Remind me to torture that out of Saren before I kill him.(_

_*If the only reason you want to stop him is for answers, you might as well leave the Normandy now.*_

_)What?(_

_*I understand that you want answers, but you might as well get used the idea that you might never get all of them. Not if you want to stop the Reapers.*_

_)I… Damn I hate it when you're right.(_

I pushed her away, needing to be alone. Well, alone in that way at least.

I opened the door to the mess hall, not expecting anybody else to be awake.

For a moment I thought the hall was deserted, but then I saw a certain quarian sitting at one of the tables looking at something on her Omni-tool.

_Great. That's just a disaster waiting to happen._

_*What do you mean?*_

_)I'm not an idiot. She's been avoiding me pretty much ever since… well, If you didn't already know when you woke up, I'm guessing Iron's bragged about it a few times.(_

_*More times than I can count. It wasn't you fault, and she knows it.*_

_)Yeah, now if I could just pull the wool over Garrus' eyes too.*_

_*You're going to have to settle it eventually.*_

_)Hero, let me ask you something. Do you think for a second that the council will believe us?(_

_*I thought they would. And found out too late how idiotic they were.*_

_)Exactly. And considering that I'm already going to be tempted… well, having Garrus on my back today wouldn't help.(_

_*I didn't say you had to do it right now. I'm just saying it should be done sooner rather than later.*_

_)Whatever.( _ I hesitated a moment. _Screw it. I'll just sit on the other end of the room. _

_*That's not going to help.*_

_)Exactly. It's not going to not help either.(_

_*Argh, you're even more stubborn than me! Fine, whatever.*_

_)Someone's a sore loser.(_

_*Right, because you're such a good sport about winning.*_

_)…It seems sort of redundant, but you remind me a lot of Raptor.(_

_*I can't imagine why.*_

_)Wow, that might be the first time I've heard you use sarcasm.(_

_*Just shut up and go eat.*_

_)Iron getting to you?(_

_*You have my eternal sympathies for earlier. But I'm about ready to let at least let him talk to you.*_

_)Ok, why?(_

_*He isn't going to be able to get out of your head again. He figured out that it was a failsafe so if you died he could keep working for Saren. But it was one time use.*_

_)How'd he get back then?(_

_*That was just reality warping. I guess the closer we are, the less damage we can do to the timeline.*_

_)So I'm probably going to be stuck with Iron until one of us dies? Crap, I just made myself think about how close that is. I'm really starting to hate that aspect of the job.(_

Hero faded, apparently sensing that I just wanted to be left alone.

_Well, dwelling on it with an empty stomach won't help. _

* * *

><p><em>No, that won't work. There's the possibility of infection in the… Keelah! Ok, that's definitely out.<em>

Tali sighed as she exited the site, turning to another that promised to be as equally useless as the others. It wasn't really the site's fault though; Relationships between Quarians and Turians were rare at best. Usually it was only the Asari that were interested in other species.

Garrus hadn't even brought up the subject, but Tali knew that if they were to be together, it had to be real. Nerve sims weren't enough.

"Oh come on, no coffee?"

Tali's head jerked up, seeing Bourne at the other end of the room, apparently looking for breakfast.

He grumbled something about having to make it himself, and set about gathering what Tali figured were ingredients.

She hadn't expected anyone else to be up this early. That was the main reason she had chosen now to research; she didn't want anyone looking over her shoulder.

Tali hastily closed her extranet window, turning back to her food. Not that any non quarian would call it such.

She deliberately avoiding looking at the Spectre. Her brain knew that it had been Iron, not Bourne, that had attacked her, but her gut said to have her shotgun at the ready whenever he was around.

And as she had figured out a while ago, it had been him that had wanted to leave Kaiden behind instead of Ashley. She had watched him risk his own life to save the Sentinel, but before that, he had been ready to leave him to die in the blast. Tali had no idea how far in the future he was from, but she knew it would have been far enough to know that.

And only yesterday, he had killed Benezia right in front of her daughter. Bourne always seemed to be on the defensive, if not the offensive, and Tali doubted he even noticed it. It was unconscious.

"Are going to say something, or are you just going to keep staring at me?"

Tali's face reddened under her helmet as she realized he was aware of her scrutiny. "I don't know much about humans, but you seem to be up a bit early."

"I don't need as much sleep as most people anyway. And let's just say I haven't been having the best dreams lately." Bourne said. It just reinforced Tali's observation.

"About what?" Tali asked, unable to think of anything else. How could you really talk to someone that you had seen try to kill you, and almost succeeded.

"Probably the same thing you'd have nightmares about."

Tali gulped. So he had noticed that she'd been avoiding her.

"Not that I'd blame you. Means you're still sane. Well, as sane as anybody on This ship can be." Bourne said with a chuckle. He moved to the far side of the table, away from her.

Tali still didn't say anything, but she privately agreed.

Bourne stayed silent as well, just sitting, and staring at a cup of steaming brown liquid. Tali envied him if it tasted as good at it smelled.

"What were you doing up? Working on some engineering project?" Bourne finally asked.

Tali was glad her mask provided a perfect poker face. "Something like that."

Bourne glanced at her, apparently scrutinizing her. He seemed ready to call her out on the lie, then apparently decided he didn't want to know. Tali was getting better at reading human body language all the time.

He suddenly sat up, looking irritated with himself. He turned to the ration cart, and a tray floated over, propelled by his blue Biotics.

He nodded in satisfaction and started… Tali was pretty sure the term was "Shoveling food into his mouth" Or something along those lines. She'd heard that Biotics needed to eat more than most, but she hadn't seen him eat like that before. She guessed that the exertions of the past two days must have gotten to him.

"I don't know how it works on the Flotilla, but among most other species, it's not the most polite thing to keep staring at a person." He chuckled. "Well, I think you're staring anyway. Sort of hard to tell with the mask."

Tali stiffened. "I'm keeping an eye on you."

He shrugged. "Understandable. Actually might be a good thing. If he does get out again, I'd rather you or Garrus take him down than the other way around."

Tali could hardly believe it, but he actually seemed sincere. "Garrus doesn't trust you at all."

"I know." He said tersely. "He's made that clear more than once."

"He has good reason, and so do I."

"If I argued with that, I'd be the biggest moron I've ever met. And I've met the council in person."

Tali had to stifle a laugh.

"I know it's not enough, but I am sorry." He said. He then looked at her for a moment, before resting his head on the table and groaning. "God damn, that was just as weak as it sounded in my head. Why did I even say it?"

"At least you tried." Tali said weakly.

"That's definitely a start Bourne." Shepard said, surprising both of them.

Or so Tali thought. "Liara's snoring wake you up Shepard?" Bourne said, not even slightly surprised.

"How long did you know I was there?"

"A while. Nice thing about enhanced hearing."

Shepard shook her head. "You heard anything from the council yet?"

"No. That's why I'm still in a relatively good mood."

"You really think they won't take some action?'

"Oh I know they'll take action. But I really doubt those morons will make the right move." Bourne sighed. "Might as well finish eating now while I still have my appetite."

Shepard laughed, grabbing her own tray of food. "You certainly seemed to have an appetite last night."

"I'm a Biotic, and I hadn't eaten for several hours." Bourne said, smiling.

Tali shook her head, know that she'd never understand humans. For all that Bourne and Shepard bickered, Tali could tell they were good friends, almost like an older sister and younger brother.

Though Tali couldn't really be sure, since the only time she'd really seen siblings on the flotilla was in vids.

"Sure, if you want to call it that." Shepard said, leaning back in her chair.

"I'll make you a deal. You don't call me out on my eating habits, and I won't call you out with Liara. As much."

"No."

"Eh, whatever. I'd probably still joke about it anyway."

"Because you like the idea of the two of us-"

"Thanks, now I'm never going to be able to get that image out of my head. Stupid perfect memory. Besides" he shrugged. "You know I'd give you a hard time regardless of who you were with."

Shepard sighed. "Yes, I'm sure you would."

Joker's voice came over the intercom. "Commander, Bourne, we just got a message from the citadel. They're mounting a joint species fleet to deal with Saren and the Geth. Ambassador Udina wants us to report back the Citadel."

Bourne sighed. "Great, more politics."

"Oh stop Whining Bourne. At least they're doing something."

"And you think it's actually going to be the right thing? If they were actually going to go after Saren, they'd be heading towards the Mu Relay and we'd meet them there. It sounds like all they're doing is getting ready in case he attacks the Citadel. And if the conduit is some sort of super weapon, he's just going to blow through the fleet."

Tali stared at him, amazed that he could read so much from a single Message. Then again, considering that he was from the future, he probably had good reason to be suspicious. Which brought her back to what had happened on Virmire. Tali couldn't quite bring herself to trust him, but Shepard clearly did, and she trusted Shepard.

"Bourne, Spectres or not, we can't obey a direct order."

"It was less like an order, more like a suggestion. And Udina isn't the council, who are who we really answer too."

Shepard glared at him.

"We still have to go, don't we?"

"Yep."

"Well, I tried."

"And failed."

He groaned. "If you need me, I'm going to be on the shooting range. I figure I might as well get it out of my system on a fake council instead of a real one."

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, bit short, but I didn't feel like next chapter would quite tie in with this one. Not that I actually have it typed out, but I have it planned enough that I'm cutting it off here.<strong>

**I'm hoping to be done by 75 chapters at the most. But the way this thing is going, who knows?**

**Until next time, thank god for fellow obsessive fans that got Bioware to change the ME3 ending. I wonder how they're going to do that anyway? Because if it's DLC but not free… they better lock their doors and hide their spouses. **

**And again, Chapter 54 is now a new chapter, before Noveria, and all the chapters onward got pushed forward. I don't think I really explained that too well.**


	65. Oh, you did not just do that!

**Ok, My new goal is to be completely done by April 19, exactly 7 months from when I posted the first chapter. And I really don't know why I'm bothering to set that goal, because I'm jinxing myself to not be done by then.**

**Well, at least I'll have plenty of time over the summer to write. Which is good, because at least four more long stories are on the way. And that's assuming I don't decide to do another series, without Bourne. But that's way too far ahead for me to really care.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did… well, the ending for ME3 should convince you right there.**

**And this is completely unrelated, but I've had about three people ask me if Trebor was my real name. What is up with that? I've never heard of anybody with that name! It sounds like something that could have ended up in Mass Effect! **

**If I owned it. Which I don't.**

**One last thing: I'm going to start referring more to ME3, so some things could be spoilers if you haven't played. Just a warning. **

* * *

><p>I fought back the urge to groan. As handy as it was to have Hero around, the fact that she could always hear my thoughts could be really grating.<p>

_*Then you know I heard that too.*_

_)I know. Look, I wasn't really going to kill the council, it was just a passing thought.(_

_*I'd say I was convinced, but it wouldn't be true.*_

_(Can I put in my opinion?)_

_*NO!* )NO!(_

_(Wow, some people have no sense of humor.)_

_)Ugh, remind me why you let him out?(_

_*He wasn't going to shut up until I did. Besides, you can block him out.*_

_)But that also blocks you out, and you usually give pretty good advice. Except about letting certain morons die.(_

_(I can't believe I'm saying this, but If I'd known at the time what I know now, I would have just saved them.)_

_)You can't believe you're saying that? Wow, we agree again. That must be five times now.(_

_*Ok, I'd just like to point out that Iron and I actually agree on something.*_

_)I seriously doubt he isn't just lying.(_

_(Well, even if you do kill them, which was admittedly satisfying, they'll just be replaced with new people that are just as irritating. Might as well go with the thing that makes you look better.)_

_)Ok, Iron is trying to talk me out of killing people. Am I the only one that sees what's wrong with this picture?(_

_*The fact that you want to kill someone more than Iron does? He's crazy, but has he ever shot effigies of the Council and Udina for Target practice?*_

I lowered my gun, looking at all the holes I'd put in the shooting range's holograms. I noticed that the Turian and Udina had way more than the other two counselors.

_)Good point.(_

_(Not really. I used to do that all the time. Usually when I couldn't get to sleep.)_

_)Ok, I take it back.(_

"Bourne?"

I raised my hand to my earpiece. "Yeah Shepard?"

"We're almost there, you should probably get your armor on."

"Roger that, meet you at the airlock. Who else we taking with?"

"Probably just you and me. If all goes well, we won't be here long."

"Yeah, keep holding on to that dream." I smirked, cutting the com.

_*Ok, just promise me that if you do have to kill them, do it during the battle so you won't get as much back lash.*_

I frowned, my knowledge yet again a burden. _)I hate that Iron was right about them just being replaced, but what about all the ships then that'll die if I save them?(_

_*That's the burden of command.*_

_(Oh, that's a lot of people dead. I like that idea more now.) _I winced as Iron's laughter filled my head.

_)Jesus man, you could give lessons to Mark Hamill.(_

_(On what, using the force?) _His laughter continued.

_)You've had to put up with this ever since he got back?(_

_*If he does get into another body, I might just take over yours so I can kill him myself.*_

_)Ok, I'm just going to, you know, block you both out now.(_

_(Wimp. You can't handle a little giggling?)_

My shoving them both away was my answer. I shot one more round into the Turian's face, then holstered my gun and headed for the showers.

* * *

><p>I had hoped for a little bit of a wait on the way there, to get my composure back. Instead, Udina sent a rapid transit shuttle to the Normandy to meet us. Probably just as well Shepard and I weren't bringing any on the ground team, since there wasn't enough room for four people in this one.<p>

_(And considering how likely you are to want to kill the council, probably also best they don't see you that way.)_

_*Still, are you sure you don't want help?*_

_)Help with what?(_

_*Wrex could actually hold you back if you go nuts like that.*_

_(What part of "It's crowded in here?" did you not get?)_

_)Hero, if you really want to help, keep him under control, and make sure I don't do something outrageously stupid.(_

_(At least you specified, considering how often you do do stupid things. Hehe, do do.)_

_)And you say I'm immature.(_

"Bourne, you seem awfully sure that this is a ruse." Raptor said, appraising me.

I laughed. "Shepard, for once, I'm going to tell you exactly what's going to happen. We're going to go in there, and the politicians are going to screw us over. And to perfectly honest, I'm probably going to want to start throwing knives."

Shepard glared at me.

"I said I was going to want to, not actually do it."

"So why didn't you try to talk me out of coming?"

"First of all, you can be even more stubborn than me. Secondly, I've learned by now that trying to change things usually doesn't end well."

"So then, what exactly will they do?"

"In short, call us crazy, say they aren't going to send a fleet into the terminus because it might start a war, and what in what I'm sure will be Joker's least favorite-" My words trailed off as we approached the Presidium Tower. "Well, you'll see soon enough."

"Maybe if you let me handle this, it won't go as badly as you claim."

"Not a lack of confidence Shepard, just what I know will happen. And if we bowed to them, which I know you have enough sense not to do, all that's going to happen is… well I don't actually know that, but it'll end with a lot of death, and probably mean the Reapers are going to win."

Shepard sighed. "Ok. I'll push for them to take action, but I need you to stay quiet. Your interactions with the Council haven't exactly been pleasant."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." _Well, at the worse, I know I'll get to kill Udina in the future at least._

* * *

><p>Shepard led the way into the meeting, followed by her increasingly tense XO. Shepard had no idea if she was even close to right, but it looked like Iron and Hero were getting on his nerves somehow.<p>

Or it might have been the sight of Udina and The Council already in discussion. He looked at them over his shoulder as they approached.

"Good Job Shepard." He said, noticeably not including Bourne. "Thanks to you, the Council is finally taking real action against Saren and his Geth."

Shepard nodded, and seeing a very slight motion in her peripheral vision, turned her head to look at Bourne.

He was trying way too hard to look innocent. "Put it away." She whispered. He scowled, but slid the concealed knife back onto his arm. Shepard had seen him do that too many times to not notice.

"With all due respect, Bourne was just as important in this as I was." She said, looking back, and covering her whisper.

The Turian's mandibles flared in what was doubtlessly disagreement.

"So what's this "real action" you guys are taking?" Bourne asked, his whole being radiating the message that he knew it was going to be the wrong move.

And even without Bourne to tell her, Shepard was inclined to agree.

"If Saren is foolish enough to launch an attack, as you believe, we will be ready for him. We have patrols surrounding every Mass Relay that leads to-"

"If you think that's enough to stop Sovereign, you're a fool." Bourne interrupted. "Since I know you're too afraid of war to send a fleet into the terminus, let us take the Normandy to Illos. At the very least, we could provide some information on exactly what the conduit is."

The Turian must have been every bit as stupid as Bourne thought, because he just laughed. "You still believe those dreams?"

Bourne's Biotics flared for a moment before he got a hold of himself. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "So if you just brought me here to insult me, can I go now? Actually get some real work done?"

Udina turned to him, but kept Shepard between them. "Now is a time to be Subtle Lt, something you have never been good at."

Bourne's eyes flashed. "The Normandy has stealth systems that out class any other ship in any fleet. We could be in and out without anybody knowing we were there." He said, hands clenching into fists.

Shepard had seen Bourne when he was mad, and he was clearly beyond that. "Bourne, calm down and let's talk this out."

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Shepard… Ok, screw it. You want to try talking some sense into them, knock yourself out."

Shepard sighed at his bluntness. "Are you doing anything about the conduit?"

"No." The Turian said, clearly shutting down that line of thought. "Ambassador Udina, I get the sense that these two aren't going to let this go."

"Damn straight." Bourne growled.

"There are serious political implications-"

"Talk to the hand Udina." Bourne said, amazing Shepard that it wasn't a fist. "I care a hell of a lot more about stopping Saren than I do about your stupid political bullshit."

Udina took a few steps back.

"You idiots could have stopped this ages ago, when Anderson was a candidate as a Spectre. Instead you idiots believed Saren, just like you did when this whole mess started. Instead, you just hid behind him because you're afraid-"

"Bourne, enough!" Shepard barked. He paused mid-rant, and glared at her.

"Mark my words, you will regret this."

"Is that a threat Bourne?" The Turian asked, almost hopeful that he'd say yes.

"No. It's a promise. And when Saren does attack, it'll be my voice in your ear saying I told you so."

Udina took a few steps forward, still keeping Shepard between them. She was half tempted to move; she'd seen Bourne when he was pissed off, and it was not something anybody should want be caught in.

"I think Bourne may have become more trouble than he's worth." Shepard just gaped at him, wondering if he had a death wish.

The Turian nodded. "I agree. I was hesitant about Bourne's promotion from the start, and certain recent events have made me even more so."

Bourne's eyes narrowed to thin glowing slits. "If you're trying to say something, I suggest you stop dancing around and just fucking say it."

The Turian glanced at the other two. The Salarian nodded, and after a moment, so did the Asari.

"Lt Jason Bourne, you are hereby stripped of your Spectre Status."

Shepard saw pure shock on Bourne's face. It instantly turned to anger.

* * *

><p>For once, all three of us said the exact same thing<p>

_He did not just do that!_

_(Those arrogant bastards want to stand in the way of my revenge?)_

_*Bourne, you have to turn this around!*_

_)How? The only reason I got made Spectre in the first place was the whole warping thing. Now they have no reason to-(_

_(Stop wallowing in pity and do it!)_

_)Oh, and you have some master plan?(_

_(Actually, yes I do.)_

_*Does it involve killing them?*_

_(No.)_

_)Maiming them?(_

_(No.)_

_*Threating them with Biotics?*_

_(…Technically. It also involves a shotgun, and maybe knives.)_

_)I've heard enough.(_

I pushed them, and my shock away. I faked a smile. "I'm sorry, I must not have heard you correctly. I could have sworn you just-"

"Don't play games Bourne."

"Really? Because I know a few reporters that would call this whole charade exactly that. Seems a bit anti-human to demote one of only two Spectres. And you can't cover it up this time."

_*What are you doing?*_

_)Fighting fire with fire.(_

_(Right, because that's worked out real well so far.)_

The pyscho must have been a prophet. "We will deal with that as we need to." Udina said. "You will be transferred to another ship later. But for now, return to the Normandy."

"Fuck you."

He just laughed. "That goes for you as well commander. We've locked out all primary systems. You're grounded until further notice."

"Again, Fuck you." Under other circumstances, I'm sure Shepard would have been giving me the death eye. But right now it was focused on Udina.

"Nobody stabs me in the Back Udina. Nobody."

He turned to us, backing up a few paces. "You can walk back yourselves, or I can have C-sec escort you out. Your choice."

I smiled grimly. "Ok, fine. We'll go. But very soon, you will find out how wrong you are." I turned, not yet walking away. "And when you do, the accumulation of your mistakes and stupidity will threaten to drown you. And you'll look up at the endless space, and shout 'Save us.'" I started walking. "And I'll be the one that looks back and Whispers 'no.'"

_(God Rorschach is awesome.)_

_)Because he kills people?(_

_(That and the mask.)_

I heard Shepard following me a few moments later.

"That could have gone better."

I grunted. "Understatement."

"I hope you have a plan."

"Technically. But we need Anderson's help. He'll probably contact us when we get back."

"So remind me why you didn't tell me?"

"Well, if it's any consolation, there's that whole thing about you actually outranking me again."

"When we save everyone, they'll be sorry."

"They'll be undoing it if they want to keep breathing."

"Bourne… I couldn't agree more."

"Well, on the bright side… ok, there really isn't one. Damnit. I thought I could go somewhere with that."

* * *

><p>As we rode back to the Normandy in silence, I did have one concern.<p>

_*Only one?*_

_)That thing about kicking me off the Normandy. Could they actually do that? I mean, Raptor's still a Spectre, and I don't see that changing soon.(_

_*Well, my guess is that Shepard's spectre Status could override any reassignment orders. At worst, you could resign your Alliance commission and work for Shepard as a freelance agent, like Wrex or Garrus.*_

_)Hmm, I might just do that now.(_

_*Why?*_

_)Well, rules against fraternization… No Spectre Status to absorb the backlash…(_

_*You just want to get with Ashley. That's the only reason you actually care.*_

_(He's a guy. That tends to happen.)_

_*Ugh, I really hope there's some way to block him out.*_

_)Didn't you do that before?(_

_*I meant block you and Ashley out.*_

Iron and I went dead quiet.

_*Ok, yeah, that could have been worded better.*_

_(Awkward.)_

_)I hate you both some days. No offense Hero. Definite offense Bronze.(_

_(The feeling is mutual.)_

_*God, I'm dealing with a pair of four year olds.*_

I sighed as finally got the to the ship. "Ok, for the record, you're the one that gets to tell Joker that they locked his baby down."

"Why me?"

"You can break it to him gently. I'd probably just tell him and run, and leave him crying."

"Yeah, you aren't good at being sensitive."

"He'd be crying over a freakin ship. Excuse me for not being sympathetic to that. I guess you can empathize though. Imagine if something happened to your sniper rifle."

"Like if I hit you over the head with it?"

"Shutting up."

_*Good idea.*_

_)God you're like Raptor.(_

_*Not really.*_

"Good idea." Shepard said, seeming a few seconds behind due to the reality warping generated by my mental conversations.

_(You were saying?)_

_*I know I might not hate Bourne tomorrow, but right now I really hate you both.*_

* * *

><p><strong>You have no idea how tempting it was to just have Bourne shoot the council. Too bad Reality keeps that from happening. Ok, I just didn't really know how I'd be able to do that and keep the story going.<strong>

**But regardless, I'll see you next weekend, and hopefully finish this monster. **

**Until next time, Keelah Selai.**


	66. What? But I thought

**Ok, I've been thinking about how to do the sequal for a while now, and I've decided which to do first (By which I mean you guys are pretty clear on which you want to see first) but it's only now occurring to me how many little things I've neglected to think about. Or rather, I'm indecisive what to do out of a bunch of options. But I figure that'll just make it a little more realistic, let Bourne decide as he goes. Worse comes to worse, and I'm really torn, I'll do another poll and listen to you guys. **

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, Ash would have kept the same armor in the third game. What can I say? It goes well with her eyes. **

* * *

><p>"So what, we're just going to sit here on our asses and wait for Saren to get here?"<p>

I chuckled. "Have a little fate Ash."

"Do you actually have a plan Jason?"

"Yes. I just haven't thought of it yet."

Garrus groaned. "Remind me why you're even still here if-"

"Spectre or not, I'm still the second highest officer on the Normandy. And I've got more reason to go after Saren than anyone but Shepard. And if those politicians think they can get rid of me so easily, they have another thing coming!"

Shepard sighed. "I understand that you're upset-"

"Untrue. I'm just mad that they had the nerve to get rid of the Status. Not like I expected it in the first place."

"Can I please finish?"

"Oh, you just set yourself up for so many-"

"Bourne!"

"Fine. You were saying?"

"This isn't getting us anywhere closer to stopping Saren. Your personal affairs have to come second."

_*She has a point. Spectre or not Spectre, you're equally killable to the Reapers.*_

_(Assuming that Saren doesn't get him. He can't be too happy at the torn up face.)_

_)I know. But if I pretend to be all calm and accepting, won't I look just a tiny bit insane?(_

_(Good point. I know a lot about hiding insanity. Not that I need to in here. Speaking of which, I have a joke for you. How do you get fifteen babies into a bucket?)_

_)Ok, I'm just going to ignore you.(_

"Then if being here isn't solving anything, why did you call this meeting?" Wrex rumbled.

"Don't look at me. It was Shepard's idea."

_(With a blender! Hahahahaha!)_

_*Ugh, that is twisted even for you.*_

_(And do you know how you get them out?)_

_*No, and I don't want to.*_

"Bourne, remember what I said earlier about hitting you over the head with my sniper rifle?"

"You're going to use Garrus' so you don't break yours?"

She actually cracked a smile. "Bourne, as your commanding officer-"

"Oh come on Shepard, that's just not cool."

"I'm putting you under orders to shut up for the duration of this meeting unless you actually have something to say."

"Permission to speak freely?"

"Denied."

"You are just mean."

_(Seriously, do you know?)_

_*Ok, fine. What's the answer?*_

_(Tortilla chips. Hahahahaha!)_

_)Will you idiots shut up? I can't keep track of both conversations at once! And that is the worst joke ever.(_

_(Not true. I know way worse jokes. So these guys come across this dismembered corpse-)_

I fought a groan.

_(And then the killer jumps out and kills all three of them too! Hahahaha!)_

_)You've lost what little grip on sanity you had left.(_

_(Right. Get it? Hahahahaha!)_

_)Hero, remind me why I let him back in?(_

_*Would you rather have him in your head, or have Raptor dead along with him?*_

I took that as a sign to just block them both out. Mostly because it was actually pretty close.

"I'll be honest. I'm a bit stumped on ideas." Raptor admitted.

"You'll think of something Raptor." Liara said, voice filled with confidence.

I fought back the comments going through my mind at that moment.

"I hope so. I just need some time." Shepard sighed. "I guess we're done here. Dismissed."

I was the last one out, still wrestling with about five different problems.

_*Oh for crying out loud, do men ever think of anything else?*_

_)That was just a passing thought. I know that there are more important things.(_

_(Like what?)_

_)Wow. It's sort of sad that that's the most sane you've sounded recently. And also really creepy.(_

_*I'm sure I can drag him off somewhere. I hope.*_

_(What's the matter? Are you going to have performance anxiety otherwise?)_

_)Maybe I can just tell Ashley to wait until after we save the universe. By then, I just know one of us will be dead. Hopefully you.(_

_(Yeah. I hate you too man.)_

I sighed, and headed for the elevator. I got to it right as it closed.

_I really hate Karma. _

* * *

><p>"I don't know what to do Liara." Shepard admitted, sitting down hard on the bed. "The council is useless, and Bourne's keeping me in the dark on what will happen."<p>

"Do you know why?"

"He's vague about it. All he says is that he'll tell me if it's really important. And at this point, I don't know whether I can still believe him or not."

Liara seemed unsure what to say.

"All I know is that if we fail, the Reapers will wipe out everything."

Liara put a hand on her shoulder. "Raptor, I don't know what will happen either. But look at what you've already accomplished. You've done more than any other Spectre has done before. You've lived through things that would have killed a lesser woman."

Shepard looked away. "And how many more times have I failed? Akuze, Jenkins… How many people did Iron kill while he was in my head? If Bourne hadn't gotten there in time, I would have killed an entire race."

"You've done the best anyone could do with what you could. You couldn't have known Cerberus would be there. You couldn't have known the Geth would be there. And nobody could have predicted that Iron could have taken control."

"I still could have done better."

"Shepard, if you obsess over the past, you doom the future. My mother said that many times when I first started archeology."

Shepard saw her love's eyes lower as she said it. "God, I feel like the worse girlfriend ever. I've been talking so much about my own problems, yet you lost your mother only yesterday."

Liara wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "She died as herself at least, rather than Saren's slave."

"There must have been some way to save her."

"No, there wasn't. Bourne did the right thing. Though part of me will always hate him for it, another part is eternally grateful to him for ending her suffering. For showing me that her intentions were good, and her mind was not her own."

"It wasn't something that you should have been exposed to."

"I would have rather been there than not. Regardless, there is nothing more to be done about it now. And I would rather remember her as she lived than how she died."

Shepard nodded, seeing that she no longer wanted to discuss it. "Liara, I don't know all the answers, but I do know one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'd rather be with you during this than us either of us being alone."

"As would I."

Shepard leaned towards her, closing her eyes.

A loud knock on their door interrupted them. "Shepard? You in there?"

Shepard turned to it, mentally cursing Bourne. "What?"

"Throw your clothes back on. I need to talk to you."

Shepard's face reddened, mostly anger at how close it was to the truth. "How about I get something heavier and throw it at your head?"

"Thanks for warning me. Now I have a barrier up."

Shepard growled, stalking over to the door. She almost hated the design of modern doors; they couldn't be thrown open like an old fashioned piece of timber on hinges.

It slid open, and Bourne took a few steps back, faced with an angry Spectre. "What is it?" She almost shouted.

"You remember that admiral that inspected the Normandy a while back?"

"What about him?"

"Joker just warned me that he's here with my reassignment orders.

Shepard frowned. "Let me talk to him. I'm pretty sure my Spectre Status-"

"I don't think that'll be nessicary. I told Joker to stall him while I sneak off the Normandy via the docking bay."

"The Docking Bay." Shepard said in a flat voice. "It's sad how much that doesn't suprise me from you."

"I've sneaked in through there before. I'm going to hide out on the Citadel until you get some help."

Shepard glanced past him, making sure Chakwas was gone. "You said Anderson should call soon?"

"We've only been locked down about half an hour. But it shouldn't be too much longer. When he does, call me and tell me where to meet you."

Shepard wanted to argue, but she knew she'd lose against someone as stubborn as Bourne. "Fine. Just be careful not to be caught. Last thing we need is for you to be court martialed."

"Give me some credit Shepard, I know how to be subtle."

Shepard shot him a look that said she disagreed.

"I said I know how to be, not that I always am." He smiled. "I'll let you two get back to what you were doing."

Shepard's face reddened, but he was already gone. _He can move pretty quickly when he's motivated._

She sighed and closed the door.

"He had one thing right." Liara said with a small smile, and a mischievous glint in her eye.

"What's that?"

"Getting back to what we were doing."

Shepard had to smile at her girlfriend. "What's gotten into you?"

"I guess you must be a bad influence."

"Oh, look at me, corrupting your innocence."

"Then get over here and corrupt faster."

* * *

><p>I doubted that the admiral could have gotten into the elevator without me noticing, but I didn't want to take the chance.<p>

_*That's why you're using the engineering tunnels?*_

_)It's faster than the elevator.(_

_*So that's the real reason you're using them?*_

_)It's… a reason.(_

_(So you're lying but don't want to admit it.)_

_*Thank god he finally said something that wasn't a joke about dead babies.*_

_(By my count, three were about dead puppies.)_

_*That isn't an improvement.*_

_)I wonder if there's a specialist that could remove him without killing us.(_

_*Emphasis on the last part.*_

_)Yeah, point taken.(_

_(Why do you care? You'll probably be dead in about a month anyway.)_

_)Just cause Shepard died, doesn't mean I will.(_

_(See? You're already speaking about it like it already happened.)_

_)… I was talking about Hero?(_

_*Leave me out of this.*_

_(Well, if it's a foregone conclusion, why worry about it?)_

_)Because unlike you, I still have a heart.(_

_(I know. Which is why I plan on ripping it out and deep frying it.)_

_)Deep frying it? Jesus, you just crossed the line to Hannibal Lector territory. But without being a genius. Or even remotely intelligent for that matter.(_

_(Really? Because I don't think you knew that I was going to take over Raptor's body. That seemed like a pretty good plan to me.)_

_)Oh? Then why didn't it work?(_

_(A certain bitch woke you up before I wanted you awake.)_

_*You know that I'm hearing every single word you're saying?*_

_(Exactly.)_

_*You are the craziest person I've ever met.*_

_(Exactly.)_

_*You just keep saying exactly to everything.*_

_(Exactly.)_

_)God I hate you.(_

_(Wow, Sherlock Holmes here, deduced another miracle)_

_)Don't make fun of me here, you're the idiot who hasn't had a single plan work out.(_

_(Oh sheesh yall, twas a dream.)_

_)Yeah, that's about how smart I think you are.(_

_*Will you ignore him and pay attention to where you're going? You need to make a right here to get to the hanger.*_

_)I'm not overly worried about it. You'll keep me from going too far off course. Heck, it was your advice to get off the Normandy for now.(_

_*Let me put it this way. Do you really want to accidently crawl into the showers and catch someone in there?*_

_)Well… if it's a chick…(_

_*Then they'd be five times more likely to kick your ass.*_

_)Oh come on, what chick could hurt me? Even without the Biotics?(_

_(Yeah, even Bourne isn't that wimpy… oh come on, you set us up for that one!)_

_)What are you talking about?(_

_*Hello genius! I could kick your ass any day of the week!*_

_)… I can't believe I agree with Iron. You did set us up.(_

_*Argh! Just get off this ship! The sooner we're on the citadel, the sooner you can get distracted and I won't have to put up with this.*_

_(Well, if he's supposed to be at Flux anyway…)_

_)No way. First, I don't really swing for Asari. Secondly, Ash would kill me if she caught me. Thirdly, get your mind out of the gutter.(_

_(So do you want to be the pot or the kettle?)_

I almost sang I was so happy to finally see the access way by Ashley's usual station.

She jumped as I crawled out of it. "Jason? What the hell are you doing?"

I brushed myself off. "Grabbing my gear."

"You know that isn't what I meant!" She said exasperatedly.

"That douchebag admiral that inspected the Normandy a while back is here now, trying to get me off this ship and posted somewhere else."

Ashley's face creased with worry."What are you going to do? If you're deliberately hiding-"

"What are they going to do? I can always say I didn't know. Nobody on this ship would be dumb enough to refute me on that."

_(I don't know. Joker isn't the brightest guy.)_

_)You're just jealous he ends up with a sexy robot girlfriend.(_

_(… Ok, fair point. Hats off to you.)_

_)Just shut up.(_

Ashley shrugged. "Good point. Still, I'd be careful. There's a lot of Alliance officers on the citadel, and your armor isn't exactly low key."

I stopped in the middle of opening my locker. _Huh, she has a point. I'd hate to be found out over something so stupid._

_*You'd feel even more stupid if you get shot and killed in a firefight.*_

_)Come on, what are the chances of that happening?(_

_*Do I really need to answer that?*_

_)I guess it couldn't hurt.(_

_(Unless one of your knives goes in the wrong place.)_

I popped open the lock, and began getting my gear together. "I'd rather have all this and not need it, than need it and not have it with me. Biotics are good, but they're not exactly subtle."

"Nothing about you is subtle Jason."

"I don't know about that. I can think of a few ways to prove you wrong."

_*Are you seriously flirting with her even now?*_

_(You have no room to talk.)_

_*What are you talking about?*_

_(You and Alenko were practically making out every second you were both on the Normandy.)_

There was an awkward silence in my head. "Just focus on not getting caught. But maybe you can show me later."

I smiled, and headed towards the bay doors.

_*Uh, Iron? I didn't go after Alenko. I fell in love with Thane. And made Kai Leng sorry-*_

_(What? No, you went after Alenko, I'm sure of it.)_

_)Hey, this is interesting and all, but unless you want us all to die in an extremely painful and high fall, I suggest shutting up.(_

_*This isn't exactly minor here.*_

_(And why are you scared of falling now? The last time you snuck out, you went skydiving to a lower level.)_

I swung myself onto the hull of the Normandy, anchoring myself with singularities. I glanced at the elevator to C-sec.

_Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe going through there isn't the best idea. _I turned my gaze downward, at a distant docking bay much like this one.

_*Oh no, please tell me you aren't going to jump.*_

_)Ok, I'll say it, but it won't be true.(_

_(How exactly am I considered crazier than him?)_

_*You're the idiot that gave him the idea in the first place!*_

I pushed myself off the Normandy, aiming for the docking bay.

_*Why did I have to get sent here? Why couldn't I have just died in old age or something? But no, instead I end up here, after saving the universe no less.*_

I activated my Biotics, slowing me down at the last minute. I looked up, the Normandy only just visible, and mostly with my better than average sight.

_(Ok, stop. Something weird is going on here.)_

I groaned, not the mood for this garbage. _)Ok, fine. I'll listen to whatever stupid joke you want.(_

_(This isn't a joke. I think I'm going crazy. Er.)_

_)How could anybody ever tell?(_

_(Hero, you said you fell in love with Thane, right?)_

_*Yes. I never romanced Kaiden, or anybody else for that matter. Just him. Something about how he made me feel…*_

_)What, you mean how you felt like you'd been smoking crack every time you two-(_

_*I'm starting to see why Raptor hits you so much.*_

_(Focus! I'm almost positive she went with Alenko, but she's convinced she didn't.)_

_)She didn't dude. You must be thinking about Shock. She's the only version who ever romanced Kaiden(_

_*And she left him to die on Virmire.* Hero_ added disapprovingly.

It occurred to me that I was standing there motionless, and it would look suspicious to anybody watching. I headed towards the nearby elevator.

_)Well, yeah, but you can't hold that against me! I didn't know it was real, to me it was just a game.(_

_*I'm just saying. But yeah Iron, she was the only one to Romance Kaiden even that much, and then her heart was broken and she never fell in love again.*_

_)Like I said, how the heck was I supposed to know?( _ The elevator started it's slow accent.

_(Wait, I thought Shock romanced Jacob.)_

_)Dude, no Shepard of mine ever Romanced Jacob. Almost everybody let him be the Tech Expert and got him killed.(_

_*Do me a favor, and don't actually do that.*_

_)Duh.(_

_(This doesn't make sense. What about Garrus? Who ended up with him?)_

_)I know Jane did.(_

_(… wait, Jane? I thought you gave us all weird names to add to the mystery and reputation.)_

_)I couldn't think of anything, and when I thought of something halfway decent, it didn't save and I didn't notice until it was too late.(_

_(That's just sad dude. Also, I'm pretty sure that never happened.)_

_)Yes it did! Those details are one of the few things I remember about my previous life! (_

_(Then why don't I remember the same things? I know I'm sociopathic and psychotic, but I'm perfectly sane apart from that.)_

_)What a ringing endorsement.(_

_(Oh, well Mr. Hotshot, what happens if that happens to you? And you think that saving someone leads to another person dying when in reality it's the exact opposite?)_

_*I really hate to agree with him, but he has a point.*_

_)He's been going crazier ever since he got back out of Raptor's head. Maybe the tech he used to get out was damaged in that first crash, or just wasn't designed properly. Maybe he isn't all there now. Literally.(_

_(What? But my genius mind! I need it!)_

_)Iron, calm down.(_

_(I'm plenty calm you-) _What he said was 2 minutes long real time, and even longer in my head, but the gist of it was insulting me with every curse and insult any of the three of us had ever heard.

_*Yeah, that seems plenty calm.* _Hero said sarcastically.

I had the sense of Iron taking a deep breath, which was unusual for him. _(Look. Even if I do want to kill you, I want to kill Saren more. But if I'm going off the deeper end than I already am, that isn't going to help any of us.)_

_*We'll figure it out.*_

_(How? Even if you tell me what's actually right, part of me still thinks it's wrong. I'm still half convinced that the bitch went after Kaiden.)_

_*First of all, I told you I didn't. Second, I'm right here you prick!*_

_)Calm down, this isn't getting us anywhere. Great, now I sound like you. No offense.(_

_(Ok, who did I romance? I need to know.)_

_)Sigh. You romanced Ashley in the first game.(_

_(I know that. Who did I do in the other two?)_

_)What? You never did, because I got sucked here before I even started your second game playthrough, let alone the third.(_

_(You think just because you never played it that it never happened? Why do you think I have the scars in my mental image? It's because you were subconsciously planning stuff out, if you hadn't straight up decided it.)_

_*Well then why are you asking who you romanced? He isn't going to know.*_

_)Well, I think he would have tried to get with Ash on Horizon,( _The mention of it brought a bad taste to my mouth. I hadn't even thought about how to handle that _)But he would have failed, then gotten with Miranda. Then he would have killed Ashley when he had the chance because Miranda had a bigger chest.(_

_*… That seems oddly specific.*_

_(Ok, that sounds right.)_

_)Again, I thought she was just a line of code, and a good voice actor.(_

_(Well, that's what I remember, so if you think that's what happened, I'll take it.)_

The elevator doors opened, and I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the bright light of the presidium.

_)Look, Iron, I promise I'll help you figure it out later. But for now, our main concern needs to be stopping Saren. Ok?(_

_(Don't talk to me like I'm an infant or something. I'm not completely out of it. And speaking of infants, what's the most fun part about killing one? The mess all over the walls! Hahahah)_

_)Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're out of it. Just promise me one thing.(_

_(What's that?)_

_)Actually, two things. You leave when Ash and I(_

_(Ok. I really don't need that also messing up my memory.)_

I paused, pleasantly surprised it had been so easy. _)The second thing: If I get mobbed by a fan club or something, let me charge out of it.(_

_(Geez, that would suck. I'm not so evil to not have sympathy there. That happened to me once, and if Tali hadn't been there with her shotgun, hot and jealous… wait, no, that wasn't me, goddamnit, what is going on!)_

I almost, almost, almost felt sorry for Iron. Not quite though.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, should be about… ok I have no idea how many chapters it's going to take to finish. I try to keep the lengths fairly consistent, but sometimes things get a lot longer than I thought they would, and I decide to cut it in half so it isn't super super long. <strong>

**I'm probably going to take down the poll soon, so if you want to see the version where Bourne doesn't get Lazurused, now's your chance to vote and change it. But for the record, that still means that Shepard will die and come back, and they'll still end up working for Cereberus. But that two years might have change Bourne a bit… Ok, I better stop before I spoil something about it.**

**Until next time, Keelah Selai. And if you're new, I'd appreciate some feedback from a new source. I'm always trying to improve as a writer.**


	67. Oh come on! Really?

**Ok, It can't be that many chapters left. I hope not anyway, because I'm really eager to tear into ME2, which I always liked better than the first game anyway.**

**Speaking of which, the poll is pretty close, so don't forget to vote if you haven't. It's almost dead even right now. One more vote in the right spot will make it a tie. Actually, I'm just going to reset it so you can change your vote if you want. I know it's sort of late to do that, but if the vote is 51%:49% I might as well as flipped a coin. **

**For perspective:**

**If only Shepard gets Lazurussed, Bourne is going to have 2 years to change, train, maybe invent a few things and mature a little. Which means that while it'll be still funny, it'll also have a lot more drama. Mostly because, well, Cerberus isn't the best group, so Bourne can't be all that happy if he has to work with them.**

**Where as if he also dies, it's going to be about the same style as this one. More of a comedy than an action story. Bourne and Shepard bickering, Bourne raising all kinds of hell, etc. But they'll still be plenty of drama, Action, blah blah blah.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I would have actually taken the time to design Tali's face instead of using Photoshop and a stock image. Not that I don't like the face mind you, I just think it was lazy to do it that way. They could have taken…. Ok, I just had to delete most of that rant so it wasn't longer than the chapter, but you get the idea. **

* * *

><p><em>*Ok, so can you please explain your logic?*<em>

_(What don't you get?)_

_*Firstly, I wasn't talking to you. Secondly, if you don't want to go to Flux because you don't want Ashley catching you gawking, why the hell is Chora's den any different?*_

I set my drink down on the table. Looking around at the, Ahem, Scenery, I had to concede that she had a point. But )I_ can blend in better here. Lots of Mercs, and with this armor, I look like one too. Besides, it's so obvious, why would they check here? (_

_*Isn't that what you said last time you hid here?*_

_)No, I said that when I hit at Flux and hit the Quasar machines.(_

_(Besides, what makes you so sure he isn't here for the food?)_

_)You aren't funny.(_

_(I'm not sane either, but you never harp on me for that!)_

_*What are you talking about? He calls you insane constantly! Hell, even I do that, and I'm the good one.*_

_)What's that supposed to mean?(_

_*Well, you can't exactly be called a paragon.*_

I wanted to argue, but after a moment's thought, had to concede she had a point. Again. It was becoming an all too common occurrence. Still, with all my knowledge of future events, I supposed it was only fair I'd be wrong about something.

_(But you're also too much of a pussy to be called a renegade like me.)_

_)You aren't a Renegade, Snake and Shade were renegades. You're just an evil fucking cold-blooded killer.(_

_(Thank you.)_

_)Nobody else in existence would take that as a compliment.(_

_(I don't know, Shade might have.)_

_)Ok, nobody in this reality.(_

_*God, can you two stop bickering for five minutes?*_

_(We didn't bicker on Noveria.)_

_*You weren't even in his head.*_

_)Is it wrong of me to say I actually sort of appreciated that break?(_

"Jason Bourne?"I snapped myself back to reality, focusing on the voice. It was a Turian, in pretty good body armor. I leaned back in my chair, sliding a knife into each hand.

_*Crap, he's C-sec.* _

_)How can you tell?(_

_*I spent a lot of time at C-sec, ok? I know a C-sec agent when I see one.*_

_)What, did Joker get arrested? On second thought, that wouldn't surprise me.(_

_*Actually, it was Kelly.*_

_)Ok, then I don't want to know why. Mostly because I can guess.(_

_*Yeah, you're on the right track. GReat, now I don't think either of us are getting rid of those images.*_

_)Sometimes it's a pain having perfect memory.( _

_ (Will you just focus and kill him or something?)_

_)Did I ask you?(_

"Who wants to know?" I replied, voice low and raspy like Iron's when he took over. I was both impressed with myself for making myself sound nothing like myself, and creeped out by the voice.

"Don't play games Lt. You're now under investigation. All of C-sec is keeping their eyes open for you. The one that brings you back gets a full year's pay."

I smiled menacingly. "You think there might be a reason for that? If you have any self-preservation instincts, you're going to leave."

He laughed. "You think being a Biotic makes you special? I've been at C-sec a long time; your little powers don't impress me."

_*Ok, good news is that Turian Biotics are very rare, and even you can't have such bad luck that he's one.*_

_(Are you seriously telling him what I think you're telling him?)_

_*It's a lesson I learned a long time ago: If you can't avoid the fight, always be the first to strike. And unless you want to try bribing him…*_

My table went flying right into the guy's chest, knocking the wind out of him.

_*I'll take that as a no.*_

His hand rose to his radio, and he called for backup before I could react. My sphere of energy flew into his head a few seconds late, knocking him out after the damage was already done.

_)Well, got any more good advice Hero?(_

_*Actually, yes. Since you'll probably get back your Spectre Status later, I wouldn't worry too much about the law.*_

_)Ok, any advice that I don't already know?(_

_(Shotgun would be really good in here.)_

_) I'm not killing them. Not unless I have to.(_

_(See, that's why Hero's the good one. She'd take any steps to avoid killing them, I'd do everything to kill them. You're pretty much-)_

I was ignoring Iron pretty much after the first five words. _Ok, think. He called for back up here. But if I'm not here when they arrive-_

_*They'll set up a search gird or something.*_

_)On this level they will.(_

_*I really hope you aren't thinking what I think you are.*_

_) Why do you always say that when I usually am?(_

I ran for the door, intending to jump from the walkway, and use my Biotics to get to a lower level. That or land on an Aircar and highjack it. But I was pretty sure that was mostly Iron's influence.

But I had neglected to account for Murphey's law. I was suddenly surrounded in an energy field, a familiar blue. I groaned as I hit a far wall, glad for my armor and Shields. _Oh come on, is everybody I piss off a Biotic?_

_*Well, Raptor isn't.*_

_(Well, with that Lazarus thing, you never know.)_

_)Don't even joke about that man. That's enough to give me nightmares.(_

A Krogan pointed a gun at me, and then pretty much every merc in the whole bar followed.

"Did he say something about a Bounty on this guy?"

_)Is it too late to change my mind about wanting to kill that guy?(_

_(Probably. You could try asking them nicely to let you kill him before you fight though. It might work)_

_)That might be the first thing you've said that isn't crazy. It's just plain stupid.(_

_(What, you have a better idea?)_

"Come on guys, we can talk this out." I said, holding my hands out peacefully, ready to start warping, throwing, etc anything they were pointed at. I also used the opportunity to count their numbers.

_(Wow, a dozen to one. Bad odds.)_

_)For me, or for them?(_

_(I don't know. Depends on how violent you're willing to get. In other words, you're screwed)_

_*You're forgetting something.*_

_(What's that? Did I leave my oven on?)_

_)Do they even still have ovens anymore?(_

"Nah, this'll be more fun." A Krogan with a very large shotgun responded. It was really annoying sometimes that our conversations weren't in real time, though it could be helpful on occasion.

_*There's more than one of us in here. Care for some extra help?*_

_(Well, it's like this. Does he really want purple Biotics? But on the other hand, if I helped him,)_

_)They'd still be purple. Blue + Red = Purple.(_

_(Hey, give me a break. I'm insane, remember?)_

_)Hero, can you just help me blast these guys so we can get out of here?(_

She didn't reply, but I felt a sudden surge in power, and my Biotics manifested around me, forming a barrier that stopped the few loose shots from the mercs.

"You know what? You're right. This will be more fun." I smiled, throwing my hands out. Half of the mercs were thrown against the fall wall.

I turned to face the other group, only to face what looked like a wall of shotguns.

_*Watch it!*_

Two singularities flew from my hands, lifting them into the air. Their cursing might have been funny under other circumstances.

I heard the mercs I had thrown into the wall getting back up.

_*Another important rule to fighting: There's no shame in running.*_

_)Ok, I call Bull-shit on that one.(_

_*Ok, which would really be worse? Running now, and avoiding C-sec, who are undoubtedly very close, or getting arrested? Because if Raptor is anything like me-*_

_)Yeah, she's practically your younger clone or something.(_

_*If she has to bail you out… well…*_

_(It would be really unfortunate if that happened today.)_

_*Why?*_

_(Duh? Day before Illos…)_

_*You have the most messed up and twisted mind in existence.*_

_(Not true. I have the second most messed up and twisted mind in existence.)_

_) Who's got the first? On second thought, don't answer that.(_

I froze as a red beam of light hit my chest, followed up by a couple of friends. I followed the trail of light to half a dozen C-sec agents, three of them snipers.

"Freeze Bourne!" One of the C-sec agents shouted. "Come along peacefully, and you won't be harmed."

That part of me left over from my old life almost believed them. But the newer, smarter part of me pulled a table in front of me to use as a shield. I ducked behind it, bullets flying above it at where I'd been a second ago.

_)Ok, how bad of damage do you think is justified?(_

_*Well, I don't know what they're charging you with.*_

_)Huh, that's a good question.(_

"This might not be the best time to ask, but why exactly are you guys on my case?" I yelled to them.

_*Yeah, definitely not the best time to ask.*_

"Orders came direct from the Council. You've gone rouge, don't bother trying to hide it."

"Are those guys ever not idiots?"

_(How much do you want to bet it came mostly from the Turian Counselor?)_

_)I'd bet 1000 creds it was.(_

_(Or Udina. I'll bet a hundred creds.)_

_)He isn't on the Council yet. And if I have my way, it's going to stay that way for a long time.(_

_*Have you idiots considered the idea that it wasn't really the council, and they just think it was?*_

_(….)_

_)…. Yeah, I don't buy that.(_

_*Saren isn't exactly an idiot; he's bound to have agents in high places*_

_)... Ok, maybe. But can you blame me for thinking otherwise?(_

"Insulting them won't help. Surrender."

_)Say Hero, what're the odds of being able to Reave?(_

_*Slim to none. You'll have to settle for singularities.*_

_(You know, if you just hurt them, they'll waste more resources then if you just kill them.)_

_)Huh, you just gave me an idea.(_

_*That worries me.*_

_)Well, like he said. I don't have to kill them, I just have to get them out of my way.(_

I popped out from cover, sending a pair of singularities into them, and dropping the pair holding up the mercs. They fell to the ground as the Officers flew up.

I ran under the suspended cops, thankfully not affected by my own powers.

_*I did mention what a dumb idea this is?*_

_)Better than being arrested.(_

I let the singularities fade as I jumped over the railing into the open air.

_(Seriously, I don't understand how you haven't died.)_

_)I'll let you know when I figure it out.(_

* * *

><p>Shepard had to fight back the urge to punch this irritating admiral in the face. Usually she only had to do that to Bourne.<p>

Not only was this Jerk demanding that she tell him where Bourne was, he had interrupted her in the middle of making out with Liara. That was one of the few times she could enjoy herself dammit, and she wanted to get back to it.

It had taken her a while to get up there, trying to buy some time by changing into her formal dress to greet the admiral. But she mostly just wanted to make him wait as a form of revenge.

Joker would likely have run if he wouldn't have broken every bone in his body doing so, judding from the way he was looking at her. Shepard was not someone you wanted to piss off. Bourne was the only moron dumb enough to do so. Speaking of which:

"I don't know where Bourne is." That much was true at least. She just hoped he wouldn't cause too much mayhem. "I think he went out to a bar or something."

It sounded like something Bourne would do. But he had more sense than to hide in such an obvious spot. She hoped.

"Normandy Records show him as still being on this ship." He insisted. "Spectre or not, Commander, You're still Alliance. As is Bourne, and I have orders for him to be transferred to the Cape Town."

Shepard crossed her arms, patience quickly wearing. "Maybe it's because every major system is shut down. Wouldn't surprise me if it screwed up the logs too."

He considered this for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose that's possible."

"With all due respect Admiral, your being here is just wasting both of our time. I can assure you that Bourne is not on this ship at the moment."

He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped short, focus elsewhere. He raised a hand to his earpiece, ignoring Shepard.

She managed to tolerate this for about five seconds. "Something wrong admiral?"

He scowled, turning off his earpiece. "He was just spotted at Chora's Den, but C-sec was unable to capture him."

_Of course. He did actually go to a bar. The sad part is that I'm not even surprised. _"What do you mean, Capture him?"

"Apparently, C-sec has orders from the Council to bring him in. Apparently they want to classify him as another Rouge Spectre."

"What?"

"It seems like the Council is over reacting. But, now it's out of our jurisdiction."

"So how exactly did he evade them?"

"He didn't. I said they didn't capture him, not that he escaped."

"Meaning?"

"He jumped from the Balcony outside the bar. C-sec has yet to find a body."

Shepard's jaw dropped, for a couple of reasons. First, the way he was so blunt about it. And secondly, because they actually believed that he would just kill himself like that.

Shepard was almost positive that he would have just landed on a lower level, or escaped to an Aircar or something. Though she still had that nagging voice in the back of her head that was worried.

She stayed silent though. If they were looking for a body instead of Bourne, it would make it easier for him to avoid notice.

"I'll be leaving now. I'll notify you if we do find him." He said solemnly, attempting to comfort her, without much luck.

Shepard nodded, trying to look like she was holding back tears. In reality, she was holding back laughter.

She managed to regain her composure as the Admiral left.

"And I thought he was annoying the first time." Joker muttered.

"Yeah, Bourne had the same thought." Shepard said with a small smile.

"I take it by the lack of crying that you also think Bourne's death is bullshit?"

"He's too stubborn to die."

"That he is."

Shepard chuckled, ready to go back downstairs and get back to what she was doing. Which involved Liara, some mood candles…

"By the way Commander, while you were talking to the Admiral, Anderson sent you a message. He wants you and Bourne to meet him at Flux."

Shepard's cursing was heard all the way on the second deck.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, this is a good point to cut off, but I'm going to work on the second chapter right after I post this. Should be up tomorrow, or if I'm very fast and motivated, later today. But the chances of that happening are about as good as someone actually liking the ME3 ending.<strong>

**Until next time, Don't forget to vote.**


	68. The Great Escape

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I would have created a concrete ending instead of one that half the people think might actually be just trickery. And if I did do the latter, I would actually change it after people complained this much instead of just adding stuff in to explain it. **

**But in the words of Adam Savage, I'll reject their reality and substitute my own. **

**This was a hard chapter to write, but I hope you guys think the wait is worth it. I'm so close to the end now, I can almost taste it. Then I can get started on the sequel. Again, don't forget to vote in the poll. If you didn't see last chapter, I reset it because it was like 49-51. There's a sort of summary of each in the previous chapter.**

* * *

><p>Garrus stood tapping his foot impatiently, while Ashley paced back and forth across the nightclub floor.<p>

Shepard and Anderson sat at a table, staring at the door, through which Bourne would hopefully walkthrough any second now.

And when he did, Shepard couldn't decide if she'd hug him, or punch him. _Heck, probably both._

"I might not know everything about humans, but in Turian culture, it's rude to not be on time to meetings." Garrus muttered.

"Garrus, considering how far he fell, it's going to take him a while to get here." Shepard said, though she half agreed. She'd radioed him to meet them at Flux, but his reply had been cut off by gunfire. He'd replied that he might be late, then shut off the com to deal with whoever thought it was a good idea to shoot at him. By the sound of it, it was a popular idea. And knowing Bourne, a very stupid idea.

"I hate to question your judgment Shepard, but is waiting for him really the best move?" Anderson pointed out. "Who knows what sort of issues he's having? And on top of that, The Council may have a point about calling him loose cannon."

"Didn't the Council say something similar about you when they kept you from becoming a Spectre?" Shepard snapped. Seeing the expression on his face, she immediately relented. "Sorry, that was a low blow. But despite what most people seem to think about Bourne, he's-" Shepard stopped short, thinking.

Ashley took over. "He's a good man, but god help you if you piss him off."

Shepard's Omni-tool beeped, signaling an incoming call. _Speak of the devil… _ "Bourne? That you?"

"You would not believe the day I'm having. Just how many Agents does C-sec have?"

"About 200 thousand. Give or take." Garrus answered with what Shepard thought was a grin.

"Well isn't that just peachy. But on the bright side, I've only knocked out about 40, so there's still a few that won't be holding a grudge now.

Shepard interrupted. "What's your status Bourne?"

"I'm not far from Flux. Actually, I'm looking at it now. Two C-sec agents at the door; must've guessed I'd head there. Or they heard you guys were there."

"Where exactly are you?"

"A few levels above the Bar. Took a Skycar."

"Skycar? Please tell me you didn't steal it."

"I paid the driver. Of course I then knocked him out and drove myself here, but that's beside the point. He's snoring in the passenger seat."

"Ok, I'm going to ignore that for now."

"Works for me. Wait, is that seriously… oh that is just total-"

"What?"

"Now there's four C-sec guys there. This is just perfect. I wouldn't be able to hit one with this Sniper Rifle, let alone all four."

"What Sniper Rifle?"

"I took it off a C-sec agent when I knocked him out. Figured the scope might be handy, and he didn't exactly say no. Mostly because he was knocked out, but again, beside the point"

"Do you even know how to use that thing?"

There was silence on the other end. Bourne took a deep breath. "Shepard, it's a gun. I know how to look through the scope of a gun. I just can't hit anything with it."

"That doesn't reassure me."

"Tell you what. You can give me some lessons later. But as it stands, I'm not going to be getting into Flux. Not without a fight. Of course, then I'd have to fight the new ones that showed up…"

"Don't even think about it."

"You have a better idea?"

"I don't know. Give me a sec. Besides, it would be a good idea to cue the others in."

"Roger that. I won't go anywhere. Mostly because if I move, I just know some moron will see me and try to shoot me."

"Probably."

"Gross, now one of them is picking their nose. I didn't even think Turians had noses."

"Com's still on Bourne."

"… ok, this is awkward." The com crackled off.

Shepard shook her head. "Well, good news is that Bourne's Alive." She turned to her little group. "Bad news is that he's not getting in here. There are four C-sec agents at the door."

"That does sound like a problem." Anderson muttered.

"Well, any ideas? Apart from shooting them?" Ash said with a shrug.

Shepard thought about it for a moment. "I may have an idea. But I doubt Bourne will like it."

Garrus chuckled. "That just makes it even better."

"Couldn't we just do it over the coms?" Anderson asked.

"No. Bourne needs to be here for this. He's earned that."

He looked ready to argue for a moment, then he nodded.

* * *

><p><em>*Ok, I know it's important to keep an eye on them, but do you have to keep staring at them the whole time?*<em>

I lowered the rifle from my eye. _)What? I'm bored.(_

_*How can you be bored? You've knocked out…50 people today?*_

_)Counting those mercs that jumped me, it's actually 49.(_ I felt blood trickling down my chin, and wiped it off for the umpteenth time. My lip had been split, healed, and then re-split. And I hadn't thought it worth wasting med-gel. Though I was really starting to reconsider.

_(Wow, Mr. Specific. And they didn't jump you, you just were over confident and one got you from behind.)_

_)That wouldn't have happened if you would have helped me out!(_

_(Why would I do that? I'm helping you only to get revenge on Saren. After that, you and I are going to have to settle this little feud.)_

_)Well, if we die in the meantime, you aren't going to have revenge on squat. And then neither of us get the satisfaction of killing the other either.(_

_(Argh, I hate it when you're right.)_

_*You do know how disturbing it is that you're actually discussing killing each other?*_

_(Yeah, well you didn't seem to think it was so crazy between Jack and Miranda.)_

_)Ok, Jack might not be quite as crazy as you, but that's still not all the flattering. And Don't even get me started on Lawson. Ugh, that's going to be a fun meeting. Not.(_

_* I did get annoyed that they wanted to kill each other. I'm just glad-*_

One Shepard was cut off by another "Bourne, we have a plan. But you aren't going to like it."

"It can't be worse than what I've already been through today."

"Good point."

"So, what it is?"

"Part one: Garrus distracts the guards. He looked, and he knows two of them."

_God, I love warping to cause coincidence. _"Ok, so part two is what I won't like?"

"Well, you know that Spectre authority trumps C-sec."

I sighed. "I don't know if you remember Shepard, but I got demoted. That's why you can actually boss me around now."

_(She kind of did that before. You're a major pushover.)_

_)Fuck you.(_

"I wasn't talking about your authority, I was talking about mine."

There was silence as I digested this. My eyes widened as I followed her line of thought, which was normally pretty easy. Mostly because Hero often thought the same things.

_*Gee, I wonder why.*_

"So isn't this the part where you read my rights?"

"Ha ha. Good news is, Garrus had an old pair of cuffs for me to borrow."

"How exactly does that constitute Good news?"

"Would you rather be arrested by C-sec?"

"Well, it would be kind of funny if you had to bail me out." I said with a chuckle

"No. It wouldn't."

"I was joking, geez."

"Argh. Do you still have that car?"

"Yeah, but I don't know how much longer the driver'll be out." I scouted out the spots on the lower level. "Where exactly do we want to do this? I might be able to get there with my Biotics."

"You might as well send up a flare. Two of those C-sec agents are nearly as good of snipers as Garrus; you'd be dead before you even hit the ground."

_*Yeah, let's avoid that.*_

_(You think?)_

_)Do you mind? I'm on the phone here!(_

"Fair point. Ok, what's the plan?"

Something hard was suddenly pressed against the side of my head. "The plan is to collect that Bounty they placed on you." _Great. That'll be 50 even on the day._

I just sighed, and put him in Stasis. I turned around, seeing the first Salarian of the day. I stepped behind him, shut off the Singularity, and threw an arm around his neck.

He struggled as I cut off Oxygen. He dropped his gun, raising both hands to my arm, trying to pry it off. Not that he had much success.

"The plan is for you to come down here, then I arrest you, and take you into my custody."

I ignored the struggling amphibian. I knew it was mostly the Krogan that spread it, but I could sort of see how they had a reputation of not being very strong.

_*I think they might actually be reptiles.*_

_)Who cares?(_

_(They might.)_

_)Well I don't. I'll look it up on the extranet later.(_

"Give me a minute."

"I'll meet you outside the bar."

"Roger that." I closed the com. "Will you please just pass out already?" I commented to the struggling Salarian. He went limp, and for a second, I thought he had taken my advice.

Then his fist flew into my eye. Hard. I stumbled back, letting him go. He went for his gun, but my foot went flying into his face instead, knocking him senseless. I followed this up by grabbing him by his horns, and kneeing him in the face. He fell backwards onto the ground, out for the count.

I raised a hand to my eye, feeling it swell shut. My vision was already getting a bit blurry there, and I hoped I was done fighting for the day.

_*That's going to leave a mark.*_

_)When Raptor asks, it was a Krogan. And there were three of them.(_

_*Good luck getting her to believe that.*_

_(Do you really mean that?)_

_*No.*_

_) Sometimes I really hate this job.(_

* * *

><p>Shepard waited near the rapid transit terminal. She was amazed that Bourne had agreed to this. Then again, he was stubborn and annoying, not stupid.<p>

"Ok, let's get this over with."

Shepard spun around, gun up and aimed, only for the shot to bounce off Bourne's shields. _Ok, I take back what I said about him not being stupid._

"Geez Shepard, I know you want it to be convincing, but that's a little much." Bourne said, crossing his arms with a smile.

Shepard glared at him as she put the gun away. "Turn around so I can cuff you."

"What, no stri-"

"Bourne, if you finish that sentence… I can't be held responsible for what I'm going to do to you." Shepard growled. Although as she took in his black eye and bleeding lip, she didn't know what else she could really do.

Bourne sighed and turned, putting his hands behind his back so she could put the cuffs on. The manacles used Omni-gel to mold to the contours of his armor, then sink through and secure his muscles as well. They could probably even fit a Krogan, though Shepard wasn't eager to test a theory like that.

" Wow. Did you fight the entire Citadel Bourne?"

"No, but it sure feels like it. Remind me, what's your policy about drinking on duty?"

"Only if you're a Spectre."

"Does former Spectre count?"

"Maybe if you hadn't thought about making some dumb joke out of this, it would. You look like you could use it."

"Eh, I know Chakwas keeps a bottle of Brandy in the med bay. Maybe I'll just jack that and replace it later."

"No."

"How are you going to know? There's a thick door between your room and the med bay. Besides, with Liara in there, you'd probably be too distracted to- Oww! Not so tight with those cuffs!"

"I'd apologize, but it wouldn't be sincere."

Bourne turned back around, his eyes muted by the built in Biotic suppressor in the cuffs. Shepard could see why Garrus had held on to them.

As though thinking about him had brought him, he rushed over, followed by the four C-sec officers. Though it was more likely the gun shot that got their attention.  
>"Freeze!"<p>

"Get down on the ground!"

"Yeah, guys, Shepard already has it under control." Bourne said. Shepard almost had to admire the way he could be handcuffed, cut off from his Biotics, and still act like he was in control. Almost.

"Thank you Commander, we'll take it from here." One said, walking towards Bourne.

One sharp look from Shepard stopped him in his tracks. "Did you not hear him? This is my arrest, and I'm taking custody of him until further notice."

"Yeah, no offense guys, but I've heard the food you guys serve is pretty bad."

"Bourne, you do know that you have the right to remain silent?"

"I know. I also have the right to-"

"Bourne, I'm just going to stop you there, because I know if I let you say it, we'd both regret it."

The C-sec agents glared daggers at Bourne. "This guy took down over 3 dozen of our agents."

"Sorry, you must have Shepard confused with someone that cares."

"Bourne, don't talk for me."

"So you're saying I'm not right?"

"I'm saying you should shut up."

"So I was right then?"

"If saying yes will get you to shut up."

"…yeah, I can't guarantee that."

One of the Turians took a step forward, and Shepard's hand dropped to her gun.

"You Spectres are all the same. Playing hard and fast with the law."

"Can you stop whining and get out of our way? We have a meeting to get to." Bourne commented.

"Oh, you are lucky she found you before I did. Or I'd have evened up your face."

"That reminds me of a joke. If I were to badly disfigure half of your face, what would be the hardest part of treating it?"

Shepard sighed. "For the record Bourne, if the punchline makes him punch you, I'm just going to let him."

"Yeah, what's the answer Bourne?" The Turian asked, menace in his voice.

"Figuring out what parts need treatment."

The Turian lunged at him, only to double over from Bourne's swift kick to the stomach. He followed it up with a spinning kick to the face, knocking him out cold.

Bourne stood over him, gloating "See? That just proves my point. Which part do you treat? Don't worry, that happens to everyone." He chuckled. "Man, must have been a nightmare to treat Saren after Shepard shot half his face off."

Shepard glared at him, but couldn't hold back a small smile. It had been a pretty lucky shot, not that she'd ever admit it was luck. And it was sort of impressive that he'd just taken the guy down while handcuffed. Then again, he had kind of baited the Turian, who'd been expecting a helpless foe.

"Come on Bourne, let's not keep Anderson waiting too long."

The other three Turians looked at Bourne murderously as he walked past. "I wouldn't try it guys. If what I did to that guy didn't convince you, ask Garrus about that time I kicked his ass in the ring."

Garrus didn't dignify that with a response. Shepard didn't blame him.

* * *

><p><em>(You kicked <span>Garrus'<span> ass? I'm sorry, who got the Broken nose?)_

_)Not a fair comparison. I don't think Turian noses even can be broken. And I'm still unsure that they have noses in the first place.(_

_*Yeah, you've said that twice. They have noses, trust me.*_

_)Wait, how would you know?(_

_*You don't want to know.*_

_)Eh, I'll accept that for now… But you do know I'm going to ask again later?(_

_*I hate you.*_

_)You don't mean that.(_

_(I hate you more than she does.)_

_)That one I believe, and the feeling is mutual.(_

_*I have an idea. Let's play the quiet game.*_

_(Is that even possible? We don't make noise when we talk like this.)_

_)I have a better idea.(_

I pushed them away, having had about all I could take in one day. The fact that my Biotics were gone didn't help.

Anderson greeted me with a nod. "Lt. Bourne. Good to see you again."

"Likewise. Though I really need to ask about getting a higher rank."

"Just ignore him." Shepard said, pushing me into a chair a little harder than needed.

I rolled my eyes. "Has she been this irritated all day Ash?"

"I'm not even going to get involved Jason."

"Focus." Shepard said, sounding like she was about ready to just knock me out to shut me up. "Anderson, what were you saying before?"

"I was saying that you need to get to Illos, and stop Saren from using the Conduit before the Reapers wipe all of us out."

"Can we wait just long enough so they wipe those idiots on the council out?" I said with a smirk.

"Bourne, you're on strike one. Three strikes, and you'll be hurting tomorrow."

"Geez, lighten up Commander. You act like this is important or something"

"Strike two."

"Shutting up."

"Good answer." She turned back to Anderson. "There's just one small problem. The only ship that could get us into the Terminus systems is locked down."

"Not if we can override Udina's orders. We can get them to bring the Normandy back online. You can be gone before anybody knows what happens."

"Sneaky. Not my usual style, but it'll work."

"Bourne…"

"Shepard…"

"One more word, and I'm having you demoted to Private Bourne."

"One more word."

"I hate you."

_*See, she agrees with me.*_

_(And me.)_

_)Must run in the… well family isn't really the word, but you get the idea.(_

"Captain, if they steal the Normandy, you'll be the one left red-handed." Ashley pointed out.

"And if they don't stop the Reapers, they'll destroy everybody." He answered.

"Yeah, I would rather avoid that."

"Bourne, I swear. If I didn't need you for this, I'd just let C-sec arrest you."

_Ok, maybe I should stop pushing her. I think she might actually be serious._

_*Probably. That's what I'd do.*_

_)Thanks.(_

"Ok, fine, I'm done joking. For now. In all seriousness, I don't think we have a better option."

Shepard looked at me, studying me. After what seemed like an eternity, she nodded. "I won't forget this Captain. I promise."

"Neither will I. Well, I have a perfect memory anyway-"

"Bourne, you said you were done joking."

"Oh come on, how many people can say that and not be lying? That wasn't joking, that was bragging."

"How about you just stop talking?"

"How about we stop arguing and just focus on getting out of here?" I retorted. "You're slowing us down as much as I am."

"Exactly!"

I just stared at her. "What were you saying Anderson?" _And here comes the part where he says things I already know, and I have to pretend to be interested._

_*Misery loves company apparently. We have to suffer through it too.*_

_(Yeah, well, you two aren't exactly my first choice of company for it.)_

_)Why don't you go look through my memories and watch Dexter or something?(_

_(I've already watched that series 12 times.)_

_)… It's amazing how much that doesn't surprise me.(_

* * *

><p>Shepard groaned.<p>

Anderson leaned towards them, lowering his voice. "I could unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the citadel control center."

"Bad idea." Bourne said too quickly for Shepard to believe he hadn't seen it coming. "With as many guards as there are… well, even I'm not that crazy."

"First of all Bourne, yes you are. And secondly, he's right. It's practically suicide."

"Well, it was Udina that issued the lockdown order." Anderson said, thinking.

"Yeah, and I'm guessing it was also him that set every cop and merc on the citadel after me." Bourne muttered.

Anderson shook his head. "That's the odd thing. It wasn't Udina. And as far as I can tell, it wasn't the council either."

Bourne frowned. "Who else could it be? One of the C-sec agents I fought said it came from the Council. And they don't have the nerve to order it themselves. "

"Right now, it doesn't matter." Shepard said, shaking her head.

"Fine. What were you saying about the backstabbing scum?"

"There's a computer in his office. Maybe I can override it from there."

Ashley spoke up. "He's not just going to just let you waltz into his office and use his computer."

"Hopefully he won't be there. If he is... I'll think of something."

Bourne smiled. "I might have an idea or two." He kept smiling for a moment, then it turned to a frown. "Crap. I forgot. Can somebody grab my shoulder knife for me? I can't reach it with the restraints."

"Bourne, so help me, if you don't stop screwing around, I will-"

"Shepard, let's be real here. You're almost as mad at him as I am."

She stopped halfway through the sentence. "Ok, fair point."

"Either way, Udina won't just let it slide Captain." Ashley pointed out. "You'll be charged with treason. A capital offense."

"Right, because stealing the most advance ship in the Alliance doesn't already count." Bourne said with a slight smile.

"You're not stealing it. You're borrowing it."

Bourne laughed. "Good point."

"Ashley, don't encourage him, please."

"None due respect Shepard_"

"If you finish that sentence, I will demote you to minor, junior private Bourne, negative first class."

"Even I know that's not a real rank."

"Do you really want to test that?"

He thought about it for a second. "Not really. Never mind."

"Good answer."

"Am I allowed to say which I think he should do?"

"Are you going to shut up if I say no?"

"I don't know."

Shepard groaned and turned back to Anderson. "I think you'll have a better chance if you go after the ambassador's computer."

"And with any luck, you can give him my regards. Just try not to do anything too bad. I'll probably want a turn with him later."

Shepard sighed. _Why do I even bother trying to shut Bourne up?_

"I was hoping you'd say that. The ambassador has made this personal."

"Yes. He has." Bourne agreed with venom in his tone.

"Are you ready to get the hell off this station?"

"No, I'd rather stay and continue to be hunted by everyone with a gun."

"That can be arranged Bourne."

"I was kidding, sheesh."

Shepard smiled. "Let's do this."

"I'll take care of the lock down. Get back the Normandy and tell Joker to stand by."

Shepard got Garrus's attention from where he'd been talking to the other officers.

He walked over, apparently still angry with Bourne.

"Garrus, since they're your cuffs, would you like to escort our convict back to the Normandy?"

"Ok Shepard, if I promise not to talk on the way back-"

"I'm going to stop you there Bourne, because we all know it isn't going to happen."

"Well, you never know."

Garrus' mandibles twitched into what could only be a smile. "It would be my pleasure Commander."

"Ok, what if I cleaned the mess hall for a week? Or a month?"

Garrus grabbed Bourne by the restraints, and jerked him to his feet. The Biotic stumbled for a moment, almost knocking him over too.

"Ease up Garrus, I've had a long day."

"You can complain to Chakwas when we get back. But you have no sympathy from me."

Bourne shrugged. "At least these are only temporary."

Shepard purposely didn't reply.

"Right?" He asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Depends on how much you annoy me on the way back."

"Ok, how about this. We lose the cuffs, I don't make fun of-"

"That counts as annoying me."

"Jason, just give up now while you're behind."

"Thank for the support Ash." He muttered as Garrus pushed him forward. "And Garrus, considering these cuffs won't be on forever, I really suggest you knock that off."

"I'll keep that suggestion in mind."

* * *

><p><em>I don't know what Tali sees in him.<em>

_(Hey, at least you don't have to deal with her having a crush on you. That would super awkward.)_

_)Yeah, I wonder if that fact that you stabbed in the gut has anything to do with that.(_

_(Well, since that was me, not you, you might still have a shot.)_

_)God, how is it you can seem perfectly normal one second, then go to being a lunatic the next minute?(_

_(That's sort of what being crazy is.)_

_*Is it too much to ask that you both shut up until we're back at the Normandy?*_

_(Yes.)_

_)… I hate it when Iron and I agree.(_

I fake stumbled again as Garrus pushed me into the Rapid Transit shuttle. "Will you stop doing that?"

"Eventually I will."

I just groaned and tried to sit back. I then remembered the restraints, and again groaned.

_*For someone with perfect memory,*_

_)Oh shut up. You aren't perfect either.(_

_(What about me? I'm obviously perfect.)_

_)I agree. You're a perfect example of somebody that needs to get killed.(_

_(Harsh.)_

_*Honestly, why couldn't it be Jane that sucked here instead of me?*_

_)Because… well, let's just say certain implications then with Kaiden would be… unpleasant.(_

_(… Ok, now I see what you mean about never getting images out of your head.)_

_)Really? Then my day is looking up.(_

_(You mean apart from the handcuffs?)_

_)… Did you really think I'd be unsteady enough to stumble into Garrus that many times without a reason?(_

_*He jacked the release ages ago. He's just hiding it.*_

_)I pulled the same trick when I snuck of the Normandy after your little rampage.(_

_(How did I not notice that?)_

_)Maybe because you were too busy imagining all the horrible things you'd like to do to Udina.(_

_(Hey, you wanted to half of those too!)_

_)That is not true!... maybe a third.(_

_(It was at least 40 percent.)_

_*You two aren't seriously going to start arguing over math are you?*_

I pushed them both away, aware of the fact that Iron might actually be crazy enough to do that. Scratch that. He was definitely crazy enough to do that.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, I think that should do it. <strong>

**I don't want to go straight to Illos, I want to have another chapter in between, but I'm having trouble thinking of ideas at the moment. You guys got any suggestions? Cause you know I love getting reviews.**

**Specially from you guys that are new. Heck, even if it's just to tell me I misspelled something, at least it tells me I'm getting noticed. **

**Until next time… Oh crap. I just realized what Chapter number is next. Alright, go ahead and get whatever jokes you want out of your system now. Man, I'm going to have a har… I mean, difficult, time avoiding those jokes next chapter.**

**Or rather, Avoid putting those jokes in every other sentence.**


	69. Long Night Ahead

**Ok, three things. First of all, let's just all acknowledge what chapter number this is so we can move on with things…**

** I'll wait a moment for your inner teenager to stop giggling… or for any chicks to stop rolling their eyes…**

**Ok, topic two. Last time I looked, the Poll was pretty much tied. Again.**

** If you haven't already voted, please do. Because if it's that close, then it's not worth using the poll, and I'm just going to do the one I want to do. And to be honest, that's a hard call, (no pun intended, I swear) but I do have one I think I'd prefer, now that I've played ME3 and seen how certain things play out. I'll want to change a few things as a result of course, *cough* ending* cough*, as well as a few other things like **_Spoiler Removed _**and **_Spoiler removed._ **But just to clarify, I am doing both, the vote is only for which I'll do first. I'll do the alternate branch of history after. And who knows? If I'm feeling lazy and don't want to do another write of the first game, I might just do a third version. Or I'll move on to some other game. Who knows?**

**But I'll probably wait a bit on that, since I also want to redo a bunch of this chapter, which brings me to numero tres. I've already redone the first two chapters, and am working on the rest. You guys want me to upload those as soon as I'm caught up with where I am now, or just update this thing when I post the last chapter? Which should be at about chapter 75 or 76 and it might take me that long to redo the whole thing anyway. (I said I wanted 75, but I also want an epilogue separately.)**

**And should I get rid of all the Author's notes, or just leave well enough alone? Or just shorten it a bit? Because I know that re-reading this all the time would probably get old fast.**

**Let me know, and I'll listen. I like hearing from you guys; it's half the reason I still keep doing this.**

**In the meantime… well, given the chapter number…**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, the Romance scenes would have stayed a little more like in the first game.***

***Euphemism for saying that it should have showed more…**

* * *

><p>Shepard's gaze kept alternating between the board in front of Joker, and Bourne. He somehow managed to look bored, while still handcuffed. Shepard honestly had no idea how that was possible.<p>

"You know, not that I have a lack of faith or anything, but are you sure this'll work?" Joker asked.

Bourne's gaze was intense and focused. "It'll work."

"But if it doesn't-"

"It'll work."

"Geez, just asking."

Shepard took a step between them. Bourne had taken down a C-sec officer while cuffed; he would turn Joker's legs into dust. "Settle down you two. We're all on edge."

"You're on edge? I'm sorry, who's still hand cuffed here?"

"Garrus is getting a spare release. Who knows what happened to the other one? You should just be glad he has a spare at all."

Bourne smiled. He suddenly pulled his hands from behind his back, one hand holding the control, the other the open cuffs.

Shepard just stared at him.

"For the record, I could have done that ages ago, but I figured 'good things come to those who wait.' And look what happened. Garrus now has to endure two elevator rides, not to mention having to find the thing in the first place."

Shepard groaned. "Bourne, I wish for once in your life you'd take something seriously."

He held up three fingers, lowering them. "3….2….…1… Joker, get this heap moving."

Shepard looked back at the board, which showed the ship had been unlocked, and sighed._ I really hate that he knows things like that._

Joker's hands were already flying across the controls. "I know Bourne. You aren't dealing with an amateur here."

"Then why are we still here?"

"Touché." Joker muttered.

Shepard watched as the Citadel became just a memory, escaping to the Relay. Citadel control didn't even have enough time to pursue.

"I hope Anderson knocked a tooth out." Bourne muttered as they got closer. "He'll want that satisfaction when they catch him."

"You think he's going to get caught?"

"It's certainly a possibility. But his chances of getting out alive are a lot better than they would have been if we'd sent him-"

His words were cut off as they entered the relay. A moment later, they were in another system.

"You get the idea. Besides, I get the feeling that they'll be bigger issues to worry about on the citadel soon enough. Sovereign is bound to be on the way."

Shepard nodded. "Joker, what's our ETA to Illos?"

He shrugged. "Well that depends."

"On what?" Bourne asked.

"We want to not be noticed by the Batarians, right?"

"Well, let me put it this way. It would take time for them to get here. And in that time-"

"Bourne, can't you ever have a conversation with him that doesn't involve threatening to break him in half?"

"I never said I was going to do that. I only imply it from time to time."

"You are such a smart ass."

"Guilty as charged. What, are you going to court martial me for it?"

"Not today. It can wait until next week. Assuming we're all still alive then."

"Right." Shepard couldn't be sure, but he seemed uneasy about it. She tried not to think of why that might be. "So Joker, what's our ETA, and be serious this time. I've had a long day."

"About… 14 hours, give or take."

Bourne smiled slightly.

"Ok, Bourne, do I want to know what you're thinking?"

"No. And since I like my face un-punched, I don't want you to know either."

Shepard sighed. "Then we should probably get some rest. Like you said, it's been an eventful day."

"Yeah. Just do me one favor?"

"What?"

"Keep whatever you and Liara do quiet. I'm going to have Chakwas patch me up."

Shepard's face turned red. "I'll be happy to do that. But you should also sound proof your own room. I really don't want to hear Ashley-"

She was put in Stasis halfway through. "Shepard, how about you leave the jokes to me? I'm actually funny about it."

He walked away, ending the Stasis as he did so. Shepard really had to talk herself out of shooting him in the back.

_Then again, he'd just live through it and come back even worse. If that's even possible._

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you even have a spare?" Tali asked for the fourth time.<p>

"I'm positive. I just don't know where I put it." Garrus responded as he looked around the Mako. Tali sighed and went over to the far side to look.

"You know that if you don't find it, it'll be a toss-up as to whether it's Bourne or Shepard that makes you regret it."

"It was their idea to put cuffs on him in the first place. Worse comes to worse, chances are that one of us could disable it."

"Good point."

"Oh for spirits' sake, I know I left it somewh-oww!"

"Sorry Garrus, I thought you had that."

Tali edged past the Mako to see Garrus the back of his head, and Bourne standing there with crossed arms. That were no longer hand cuffed.

Garrus turned around slowly, still holding his head. He took in Bourne's appearance, and then looked to see the now open cuffs on the ground. "What? You found the release?"

He chuckled. "Actually, took yours ages ago. I just wanted to make you sweat a little." He stopped. "Wait, Turians do sweat, right?"

"Yes, you're right about that. But you were wrong about Turians having eyes in the back of their heads."

"Actually, that was just pay back for all the shoving."

Garrus stood straight up, glaring at Bourne.

"Hey, I could have used the Biotics. But I figured I still need you around for when we hit Illos."

"I know. That's the only reason I'm not beating the crap out of you again."

Bourne laughed. "Yeah, I'd appreciate that. And I think Chakwas would too. I was bruised in places I didn't even know I had. And don't even get me started on where I needed stiches."

"I'd say I was sympathetic, but I'd be lying."

Bourne just laughed again. "And I'd be lying if I said I'd been expecting a different answer."

"Do you actually need something, or are you just trying to get on my nerves?"

Bourne's smile faded. "Well… technically yes. It's more that well…"

"Spit it out already."

"Ok, look. I really, really, really don't want to know what goes on between you and Tali, but-"

"Bourne, if you have any sense of self-preservation-"

"Garrus, if you actually care about her, you'll listen. Tali is normally a lot more level headed than the rest of us, but for all she knows, we might not be coming back alive. You know that's BS, and I know that's BS, but as for her…"

Tali's eyes narrowed, wondering just what he was suggesting. But her feminine intuition was telling her that an electric tech mine might be in order. Right to his head.

"What?"

Bourne stopped talking for a moment, clearly thinking.

"What?"

"Look, I'm trying not to be overly blunt, but that isn't my specialty. You and Tali are together, right?"

"Should I even ask how you know that?"

"She might have let it slip out at some point."

"And why exactly are you interested in it?"

"You're the first person she's been in any sort of relationship with. And unless I'm more wrong than I've ever been before… simulation programs wouldn't be enough for her."

"Ok, I'm starting to consider shooting you again."

"I really don't like this conversation either, believe me." He lowered his voice, talking to himself, and Tali had to strain to hear. "I don't know how I let myself get talked into it." He raised his voice back to normal. "But it wouldn't feel right on my conscious if I didn't at least say something about it. Even if she offers, wait."

Tali didn't understand how he knew all this. She was wondering if he'd lied about not knowing how their relation sip might turn out.

"Offers to…"

Bourne facepalmed. "Wow, are you really not getting this?" He shrugged. "Ok, to put it in Turian terms, she wants to test her flexibility against your reach."

Tali just was confused, but Garrus looked angry. " Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying. The last thing I want is for you two to… you know, and for her to end up with god only knows how many infections. Especially considering that not only would your virus affect her, but all the levo crap on the ship wouldn't exactly be great on her immune system either."

He held his hands up. "I swear, I'm not trying to make a joke this time."

"Why the hell do you care?"

Bourne's lowered his head. "She's already been almost killed by one person on this ship. I'm trying to avoid that happening again."

For a moment, Garrus just glared at him. Then he crossed the distance with speed Tali didn't even know he had, and punched Bourne in the stomach hard enough to double over.

Bourne stood there, wheezing, while Garrus stood over him. "You're comparing me to Iron? That's low, even for you."

A surge of Blue energy surrounded Bourne, and Garrus was flung backwards against the Mako.

"You could have just said you didn't need the advice." Bourne said, standing back up. His biotics weren't activated, but by his glowing eyes, he was ready to trigger them in a moment's notice.

Garrus got back to his feet as well. In a motion that was too fast for Tali to see, his sniper rifle was up and aimed at Bourne, who quickly rolled to the side.

The next few seconds passed in a flash.

A change seemed to go over Bourne, though Tali couldn't say what it was. He seemed more relaxed and less tense, while still being ready for a fight. His whole posture and movement seemed to change.

He raised his left hand, creating a blue orb that completely surrounded him, stopping a perfectly placed headshot.

"Put the gun away Garrus. Let's just leave it at this." Even Bourne's voice seemed different. More commanding, less demanding. Tali could only just detect it, and she suspected that it was due in large part because she was a Quarian.

"Why should I trust you? You'd probably just shoot me the second I turned my back!"

"Then why haven't?" Bourne countered. "Think about it Garrus. I've had a thousand possibilities where I could have taken down anyone on this ship. I could have undone my cuffs on the citadel, and you wouldn't have even known I was free before I slit your throat."

Garrus hesitated.

"You think I'm a threat, I get that. Hell, you have every right to think so. I'm a lot of things, but I'm no fool." He shrugged. "Well, not most of the time."

"At least you're honest about one thing."

"When I lied, it was too try to protect this crew. If word got out about my real origins, you think I'd last five minutes? And that they'd hesitate to kill the crew if they got in the way?"

He dropped the shield. "If you really think that I'm a threat, then go ahead. Take the shot."

* * *

><p><em>Crap. <em>I rolled to the side, forcing Garrus to re-aim.

Suddenly, I felt the control of my body slipping away. _What? How did Iron… Hero said she was shielding him!_

That's when my controller put up a Barrier, stopping Garrus' shot. As opposed to just killing him. Not Iron's MO.

_)Hero? What the Fuck!(_

_(Hey, watch the language in front of the lady! Then again, I guess since it's Hero… you know what, never mind. She's a far cry from any lady I've ever met.)_

_)Here's an idea: Shut up! And give me my body back Hero!(_

_*I will.*_

Hero kept our left hand raised, maintaining the barrier.

_*But maybe that can wait a minute or two.*_

I cursed at her, barely hearing the conversation she was having with the Turian.

She was slow in responding, focused on Garrus. _*You were never going to settle this yourself. I'm stepping in so you two can put it behind you.*_

_)You said I just had to talk to him about Tali, and then you'd drop it.(_

_*I would have. If you hadn't flung him into a heavy tank.*_

_)He hit me first!(_

_*To be fair, you could have handled it a lot better.*_

_)I didn't see you giving me advice. Just telling me to do it so you'd stop the loop of Justin Beiber.(_

_(Still better than Friday.)_

_)You're missing the point.(_

_(It's not my fault I'm crazy.)_

_)Argh! Hero, if you won't give me my body back, I'll take it back.(_

_*I'm actually trying to help you here. If you and Garrus can't settle this now, it'll come back to bite you.*_

_)Then let me actually be the one to fix it. If you do it for me, it's no better.(_

_(Just let him do it so he'll shut up.)_

_*No. You'd just mess it up.*_

_)Ok then, plan B. I'm taking my body back.(_

_(How do you plan to do that?)_

I focused my memory, looking for one specific shot.

Hero's concentration broke at the sight of her love, Thane, taking a rocket to the face. _That's a mistake that paid off._

I seized the opportunity, breaking through and regaining control of my body. The downside was that it dropped the shield, but I was reasonably confident in my ability to create a normal Barrier.

"But if you think I'm a real threat, take the shot." I said, trying to make it look like that's what I'd been planning.

I looked at Garrus, grateful again for my poker face. I'm pretty sure if my real emotions had been in my expression, I would have looked bipolar considering Hero's actions a minute ago.

_ (Well, technically…)_

_)Don't. Even. Say. It. (_

He didn't move the rifle. That made me just a tiiiiny bit nervous.

_(Tiny bit? You'd crap your pants if-)_

_)Iron, if you don't shut up, then I will throw a knife at him, purposely miss, and then all three of us get a bullet right between the eyes!(_

_(…Ok, you just matched me for crazy.)_

_)Strike one.(_

_(You totally stole that from Raptor.)_

_)Strike two….(_

Thankfully, the moron shut up.

"You're either the gutsiest person I've ever met, or the dumbest." Garrus said, lowering his rifle. He sighed. "Ok, maybe you have a point. "

I fought a sigh of relief.

_*See? It worked out.* _She sounded shaken. Not all that surprising considering that I had literally shown hero her true love dying in one of the worse ways possible. I felt a little guilt, but she had pushed me to it.

_)Shut up Hero. We're going to have a long talk about this later.( _I blocked her off, also blocking off Iron.

"You don't have to like me Garrus. Hell, I don't even care if you respect me. But you had better at least listen to me. Watch my back, I'll watch yours."

"Are you two done posing yet?" Raptor asked.

I suddenly turned, seeing Raptor, Liara, Ash, and Wrex, all watching us.

"Hey, he started it." We both said hurriedly.

Garrus and I just looked at each other. _Ok, I really hope that never happens again._

"So, uh, how long have you guys been standing there?"

Raptor crossed her arms. "Since you threw him against the Mako."

I shrugged. "I can live with that." _At least they didn't hear the other part. _

_*Be glad Tali didn't hear it.*_

"So, what was that about reach and flexibility?" Tali asked, stepping out from behind the Mako.

I looked at Garrus, who looked as embarrassed as I felt.

_Somebody please shoot me._

_(That can be arranged.)_

I pushed them both away. "Ask Garrus. I've had enough of that minefield. In fact, if any of you ever ask, I'll deny everything."

_*You can be such a moron*_

I didn't respond to that. I just replayed Thane's death by rocket to the face.

"Bourne… I honestly have no idea how you're still alive." Wrex rumbled.

"You'd be surprised how many times I've heard that." I chuckled.

Shepard clapped her hands. "Alright, nothing more to see here. Get some rest people. We're going to need it."

"I agree." I said with a smirk. _Try not to tire her out too much Liara._ I thought it, but I didn't say it. I'd had enough interfering with love affairs for one day.

_Plus, I get the feeling Raptor knows what I'm thinking. I really like having my face unshot._

"Dismissed." She turned to me. "Well Bourne, think we're ready to go?"

"As ready as we're going to be."

"Any ideas about what squad to take?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. But whoever we take will likely be our squad until the end."

She nodded. "I'll sleep on it."

"Good idea. Even I need some rest, and I'm the genetically enhanced one."

_(Yeah, but you don't really want to rest. Unless you have-)_

_)If you finish that sentence, I will go into that "Matrix" land we generate, and do every horrible think to you that you've ever wanted to do to Udina.(_

_(Never mind.)_

_)Good answer.(_

* * *

><p>I checked the time, seeing that there were still about 12 hours until we got to Illos. I was surprised at the time. <em>Chakwas must have spent more time patching me up than I thought.<em> I sat down on my bed. I was still sore, even if I wasn't technically hurt. Though that might have been from Garrus' fist.

_That and your little coup attempt._

_*Look , can we please talk about-*_

_)You want to talk? Ok, how about this: I thought I could trust you, and the first time you get the chance, you take over my body and try to change things to suit you better!(_

_(Will you calm down? She was just trying to help.)_

_)Why do you even care?(_

_(Because the shorter the time you two spend arguing, the better.)_

_*Screw you.*_

_)You might as well. You already screwed me over. Why not him too?(_

_*Look. Chances are, the best combo for this mission includes Garrus. And if so, then we need him focused on Geth. Not on you.*_

_)Oh, so now you're saying it was to protect me?(_

_*Have I done anything to betray you? It's not like they'd have been able to tell it wasn't you. My Purple Biotics are almost the same as yours. I was careful about it.*_

_)It's not about them finding out. Raptor already knows. Though for the record, I do want to keep it under wraps. But my point is, you were trying to change all this to suit yourself.(_

_*Like you tried to influence Raptor on some decisions? Like saving Kaiden?*_

_)In my place you would have made the same call.(_

She sighed. _*Maybe I would have, maybe I wouldn't. That doesn't change the facts. You've changed a lot.*_

_)I'm doing it to save the universe.(_

_*That sounds like the same thing I was saying to you a minute ago.*_

_(He at least gives them options. You took control for yourself. It's no different than what the Reapers do.)_

_)… Who are you and what did you do with the real Iron? Not that I'm complaining mind you.(_

_(Look. I hate you. A lot. And the feeling is mutual. But we still are a team. Such as it is. And you're more effective when you're in control of yourself, with Hero and I providing support. Hell, with our strength added to yours, you'll be able to tear through everything. But more than that, Raptor trusts you. Everyone but Garrus does, and hero might just have convinced him to.)_

_)Ok, this is like the Twilight Zone.(_

_(You mean there's sparkly Vampires?)_

_*Two things. First of all, those things weren't real vampires. Secondly, he's right Bourne.*_

I didn't respond right away. _)It was still wrong. You could have talked me through it or something.(_

_(You both made mistakes. Now get over it.)_

_)How disturbing is it that you're being the mediator here?(_

_(I want Saren's head. That's it. And I want one of us to be the one to do it.)_

_*As opposed to…*_

_(I want to get revenge on Saren. Not watch Raptor talk him into shooting himself.)_

I flared my Biotics before I realized it. _)Agreed.(_

_*Same here.*_

_(Really? I thought you'd be more for advising to not "Sacrifice his morals" or to "Just let it play out naturally" or-)_

_*Are you finished?*_

_(I have one more. "Don't turn to the darkside.")_

_*What I was actually going to say, is that he needs closure. Getting revenge on Saren has been your main goal for a while. Finish him, bury the past, and you can focus on the main threat.*_

_)Yeah, what a treat. Upgrading from a giant lizard, to a bunch of Giant bug things.(_

_*That will happen in time. But for now-*_

I heard my door slide open.

_*Enjoy what you can get.*_

She faded, along with Iron.

"Jason?" I turned, unsurprised to see Ashley standing there. _Thanks Hero. And Iron, if you cock block me, I will end you!_ They didn't reply, Hero apparently having blocked both of them off. Which I was very gratefull for.

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear someone call me that. I don't think anyone else knows I have a first name."

"If you don't like it-"

I stood up. "No, I do. Hearing you call me that all the time is the main reason I decided to keep the name."

"You don't remember anything from before?"

" I remember enough to want to stop Saren. Normally I wouldn't condone stealing a ship. But under the circumstances-"

"We had to this. You know that."

"I pretended to be arrested for this. I know what's at stake."

"Yeah. Can't blame the council for calling us reckless though."

I laughed. "I don't. I blame them for taking away my Spectre status. Once we save them, I'm going to make them give it back, then I'm going to kick all their asses." I shrugged. "Little surprised to hear you say that though. Not all that long ago, you weren't all that fond of other races."

"I wasn't. But working with Aliens has taught me a thing or two. I've had some time to think. 'death closes all. But something ere the end, some work of noble note, may yet be done. Not unbecoming men that strove of gods.' We'll get through this Jason. Because of Shepard, and because of you."

"I hope so. I really do want that Spectre status back. Lt. Bourne doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Agent Bourne."

She laughed. "I know. And it also makes this relationship legal, vs now, where we could both be court marshaled for it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" I kept my tone light. "Does this mean you're breaking up with me?"

"No. Now I just don't care. All this could be over tomorrow. I see more than just your rank. I see a strong, compassionate warrior, who isn't going to let anything stop him. With a great ass."

I laughed at that. _"_I could say the same about you. It wasn't always your back I was watching during missions."

"Like you said: There are regs against this you know. You ready to deal with the consequences?"

"I don't see how it could get me in more trouble."

"I've spent my whole life fighting to get what I want. To get it done, I had to bury a lot. During that whole time, not even once did feel like what I was fighting for."

I cupped her chin with my hand. "Believe me, you're worth it. And you don't have to fight for this."

"Is that an invitation Jason?"

"Scared?"

"You can bet your ass I'm not."

I smiled. "Bunk here tonight Ashley. With me."

"Bold words Jason. I like bold."

"I'm as bold as it gets."

She leaned in for the kiss, and I closed my eyes. It was quick, but passionate. It felt like my first kiss. Though technically, with all the memory loss, it was.

She pulled back, smiling. "Now it's you that seems nervous."

"I'll get over it."

She grabbed my head, pulling me in for a long kiss. I stopped hesitating a she pushed me onto the bed. She landed on top of me, pinning me.

"I hope so. We have a long night."

"I can think of a few ways to pass the time." I smirked, flipping us so that our positions were reversed.

"So can I." She flipped us again, and we landed on our sides, facing each other. "Like I said, we have a long night."

"And I'm going to enjoy every moment of it."

She pulled me in for another kiss. I will neither confirm nor deny if there was tongue involved in that one. But it was the best kiss I had ever had.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, that's enough of that. It's rated T, not M. And there is no way in hell I'm actually going to write the rest of that scene. Just use you imaginations. <strong>

**Wait, I think that ended up sounding wrong. Eh, whatever.**

**Going to be a busy week, so hopefully see you next weekend. **

**Sayonara.**


	70. Time to deploy

**Wow. 70 chapters. That's like an entire novel or something.**

**So is anybody going to give me a trophy for getting this far? Anyone? No? Darn.**

**Oh well. I'm not done yet anyway. Stupid writers block… I'm close, but no cigar. Which is good, because smoking is bad.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, the humor would be just as messed up as the stuff above. But then again, I would have gone with a better ending, so maybe the tradeoff would be worth it. I hope so, considering that there's no way in a million years…. You get the point by now. Ending sucked.**

* * *

><p>It took me a second to remember where I was when I woke up. Having a hot naked girlfriend in bed with you can do that to a person. But I could think of worse things to wake up to.<p>

I smiled, looking over at her. At some point during the night, her hair had slipped out of its normal bun, leaving her long hair to frame her face. It looked good on her.

_(Pity you'll have to wait a few years to see it like that all the time.)_

I didn't even bother putting my response into actually words, I just sent him a general feeling of hate and wishing he'd be gone.

_(Hey, I didn't interrupt last night did I?)_

_)That's because you still have some sense of self preservation.(_

_(Relax, will you? What, are you worried about me taking over your body just to get some action?)_

_)…I wasn't worried until you said that, but now-(_

_*If he does, I'll help you kick his ass.*_

_(You and what army?)_

_)Me. And Rebecca Black.(_

_(How do you know I don't actually like that song? I am crazy.)_

_)Do you really want me to call your bluff?(_

He didn't reply. I wasn't going to complain.

I took that as a good cue to shut both of them out, and check the time with my Omni-tool. My eyes widened.

_Wow, still about 90 minutes out. _

I shrugged. _Eh, screw it, I'm still sleeping in. Might be the last chance I get._

_*That's a pessimistic view.*_

_)I'm justifying to myself because I really don't want to leave this bed now, ok?(_

_(Just get up you big baby. Grab a big meal, you're going to need it. Even with us buffering you.)_

There weren't many things I hated more than having Iron be right.

_*She'll still be here tomorrow.*_

_(Though with any luck, not all of us will be.)_

I glanced over at Ash, and carefully started extracting myself from under the sheets, trying not to wake her up.

_*Ok, Iron, it's gotten to the point when I can't tell when you're lucid or not. What do you mean by that?*_

_(Well, look at it this way. If he dies, what guarantee is there that we'll come back with him? Assuming he comes back at all? And if he somehow manages to stay alive, do you think we can survive three years without one of us killing the other two?)_

He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. I started getting dressed, pondering his words.

_(Let's face it: For all this talk about being a team, any one of us would betray the other two if it came down to that. Hero would do it for the good of the galaxy, you'd do it out of self-preservation, and well, I just like killing things.)_

_)I've noticed. And It would only be you I'd betray. Hero gives good advice.(_

_(And what about when she stops giving good advice? What then?)_

_*Let's just focus on surviving today. We can worry about tomorrow if we're still alive then.*_

_)Works for me. But I'm going to need you two, much as I hate to admit it. I'm good, but I'm still human.(_

_(Mostly.)_

I grabbed my usual collection of knives, along with my pistol and headed out the mess hall.

* * *

><p>Shepard was sitting alone, shifting food around on her plate. The screams of her squad still echoed in her ears, nightmare fresh in her mind.<p>

"What are you doing up so early?"

She glanced up, seeing Bourne sitting down across from her. "I could ask you the same thing." She snapped, mood sorely tested.

"Shepard, I'm genetically enhanced. But you still need sleep." Bourne chided. "You look like something's bothering you. Normally I get in at least a few jokes before you snap. I guess that opening statement might technically be like a joke, but..."

"What, no joke about Liara keeping me up?"

He shook his head. "You'd just fire back with one about Ash."

"You do know that you're breaking half a dozen regs?" She admonished. She certainly wasn't going to make a fuss about it; she'd never much understood the rule in the first place. But certain higher-ups would jump on the excuse to have him court-martialed.

"Shepard, I helped steal the most advanced warship in the Alliance fleet. If they actually do something about me, that'll be the least of their problems. Citadel is probably going to get pretty banged up."

"How bad?"

"Bad. I won't lie to you Shepard. We're going to lose people. A lot."

She shook her head. "This is only the beginning. Isn't it?"

"I wish I could say this is the hardest part. But compared with what comes later, stopping Saren will be the easiest fight we're going to have."

She nodded.

"So what's really keeping you awake? If it actually was Liara, it seems like you'd be a bit happier."

"Nightmare. I used to have them every night. Since I met Liara, this is the first I've had."

"Since you met Liara, or since you two hooked up?"

She answered that one with a glare.

"I can sympathize though. Thought of losing Ashley… or You, or well, anybody on this ship."

"That's the hardest part of being in charge. Knowing that no matter what you do, you can't save them all."

"I know. Even without perfect memory, I don't think I'd forget what happened to Kaiden anytime soon."

"And I'll never forget Akuze."

They both stay silent for a while after that, just focusing on their plates.

"Can I ask you something Bourne?"

"What's that?"

"If you know exactly how much can go wrong, why are you here?"

"If I knew that… "He shrugged. "I might wise up and not stay." He smiled. "Besides, someone has to stick around to pull your ass out of the fire."

"I'm sorry, who did Saren dangle over the cliff?"

"Who almost got thrown off a cliff back on Feros?"

"At least I didn't have to be carried onto the Ship after on Therum."

"Probably because you were sticking close to Liara. And you're the one that got taken over by the Giant bug."

"You're the one that got taken down by a Bureaucrat."

That stopped him for a moment.

"What, can't think of anything else?"

"Let's just call it a tie."

She chuckled. "You just don't like losing."

"So do you want to be the pot or the kettle?"

"What?"

He sighed. "Sometimes I really hate being from another time period."

She shrugged. "Believe it or not, I know the feeling."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Mindoir was a farming colony. We weren't the most advanced place. I had to spend an hour a day shifting hay bales because they didn't have automated tech. I think the first time I saw a modern door I thought I had broken it."

He chuckled. "Well, having to lift hay bales would certainly explain the super strength you seem to have."

"Or you're just a wimp." She said with a smile.

He shot her a dirty look. "Considering all the crap I've been through, I don't think that word can really be applied to me anymore. Immature, reckless and annoying, maybe, but not wimp."

"At least you're honest about it. Maybe you can be famous for that too."

"Shepard, you're probably the most famous human alive right now. The only reason anyone knows me is because I'm serving with you. Or more specifically, the fact that you drafted me into being a Spectre. And then I somehow managed to get demoted again."

"I'm sure the council will see the errors of their ways."

"Meaning that if we save them, they'll be all grateful and want to help us and blah blah blabbity blah. They'll probably just screw things up like usual."

"Do you know that for certain, or are you just-"

"Both." He'd gone to unreadable mode again. Shepard was both impressed with that, and severely annoyed that it could be so effective.

Shepard sighed. "Ok… so what happens?"

"Right. I'm going to spill my guts this time, because the other times have worked out so well." Sarcasm was practically infusing his voice by the end.

"Are you ever going to tell me everything?"

"Not if I don't have to."

Shepard turned back to her breakfast, sensing a dead end.

Bourne did the same, shoveling the high calorie food into his mouth.

"So will you tell me one thing Bourne?"

"What?" He asked, exasperated.

"What's it like to be able to eat that much food and stay thin?" She said with a smile.

Bourne's poker face dropped, breaking into a small smile. "Actually, I don't know. I've been trying to stick to eating normally most of the time. But considering what we're up against today, I figured I could use it."

"Might want to grab a few protein bars too."

"I know mom."

"You do remember that I'm your commanding officer?"

"So? Even if you were to try to make me do some manual labor, I can always just put you in stasis and walk away."

"That might work. For about ten seconds. Then you'd wise up, apologize, and beg for forgiveness."

"Yeah right."

"Do you really want to tempt fate?"

"Not like I have a lot to lose. Pretty much everyone and everything I care about are on this ship." He looked away, pondering. "Even my memory is gone." He looked back at Shepard. "And you're the only person I can talk to that can sympathize."

"It's hard, isn't it." It wasn't a question.

"Most of the time, I don't think about it. Hard to think about what doesn't exist. But every once in a while, something just… clicks."

"I never know what'll bring it on. Sometimes it's a smell, or a face that I almost know. But it always brings that same feeling of loss." Shepard looked down. "I'd give almost anything for those memories back."

"Yet another difference." Bourne muttered.

"You wouldn't?"

"Odd choice, I know. But fact is… you at least have something to cling to. I have no idea what my memories were, who I was. I could have been any one. A scientist. An athlete. A billionaire for all I know."

"But you don't want to know. Why is that?"

He sighed. "Fact is Shepard, for me, it doesn't matter. I'm here. And if I did know, I might not be able to let go again. I might waste the rest of my life trying to get back, and deep down I know I never could. It's a clean break."

"But-"

"I wouldn't judge anyone else if they made the opposite decision in my place." He glanced back at his quarters. "But I don't know. What if I did leave someone behind? Ashley is… well…"

"You wouldn't want those memories getting in the way."

"No." He turned back. "If you had loved someone back on Mindoir, then lost them, would you want to remember them? Put a wedge between you and Liara?"

Shepard hesitated.

"You don't have to answer. I guess it is pretty personal on reflection." He shrugged. "I guess… it's weird. In some ways, we're as different as yin and yang. Yet in other ways, we're like mirror images."

"Isn't that thing about yin and yang? They work well together?"

"I can't think of anybody I'd rather have watching my back. Or anybody I'd rather be backing up."

"On that Bourne, we can agree."

"Hey, I hate to break up the bonding, but we're only fifteen minutes from the Mu-Relay." Joker's voice sounded across the coms.

"Joker, if you were spying on us…" Bourne growled.

"I have both your transponders showing that you're in the mess. It was guess. Wait, were you actually bonding or something?"

Bourne took a deep breath to calm himself. "Joker, considering that I still need you to pilot this ship, please stop talking so I don't lost control, come up there-"

"He means shut up." Shepard interrupted.

"I'm still XO right? Yeah, know what? Joker, I'm giving you a standing order to stay silent unless it's mission critical."

"Geez, you're more of a hard ass then Shepard."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." They both said at once.

The com clicked off very quickly after that.

Bourne shook his head, and stood up. "We should probably grab our gear."

"Are you sure you aren't just trying to get one last look at Ashley?" Shepard said with a smile.

"I have perfect memory you know… but, yeah probably."

Shepard snickered.

"Oh, like you aren't going to do the same with Liara."

That wiped the smile off her face. She couldn't think of a comeback before he reached his room, locking the door behind him. She just knew she'd come up with something tomorrow.

* * *

><p><em>*You know she's going to give you hell for that later?*<em>

_)If I'm still alive tomorrow, then I might worry about it.(_

I blocked both of them out, grabbing my armor from where it had been scattered across the room.

"Time to go already Jason?"

I looked over at Ashley, now sitting up in bed and nodded. "Unfortunately."

She smiled. "Last night was a whole new definition of drop and give me twenty."

I chuckled. "No time for a repeat now though. I might be able to get Joker to wait, but then Shepard would kick my ass." I shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, it'd be worth it, but-"

"Go save the galaxy Lt. Bourne. I'll still be here when you get back."

I floated the rest of my armor over to me, and donned it quickly. "I'm going to hold you to that Miss Williams."

She got out of the bed, walking towards me, and I nearly lost control of my Biotics. She grabbed my head and pulled me into another deep kiss.

"Just so you remember what you're coming back to." She said with a smile.

"Damn I wish we had more time."

Shepard's voice came over the intercom "Bourne! Get your ass up here! We're almost to the relay!"

I shot the ceiling a very dirty look. "On my way." I said, biting down half a dozen addons to that sentence that I would doubtlessly regret later. I shot one last look at Ashley, who was already at least partially dressed. I fought back a scowl, and did my best to ignore Hero's response.

* * *

><p>"Uh Commander? We've got company."<p>

I walked up behind Shepard, staying quiet for old times' sake. Except for Ashley, for obvious reasons, everyone on the ground team was there.

"Do they know we're here?" Garrus asked.

"Stealth systems are engaged. They won't know we're here unless we get close enough for a visual."

"Let's avoid that then." Shepard dead-panned.

I crossed my arms, wondering how long it would take her to notice me.

"I'm picking up some strange readings commander." Pressley said from a nearby console.

Shepard nodded. "Take us down. Lock on to the coordinates."

"Negative on that commander. The nearest landing zone is two clicks away."

Wrex huffed. "I signed for a fight, not a hike."

"Wrex, even you couldn't go that far and still be effective." Garrus responded. "We need something a lot closer, or a new plan."

"There is nowhere closer! I've looked!" Pressley responded, and I thought I heard traces of panic in his voice. Not suprising considering his feelings about Aliens. Or the fact that they could probably snap him in half before he could blink.

Shepard groaned. "Look again then! We don't have a lot of options! And where the hell is Bourne?" She exclaimed, turning around.

I had to fight laughter at the look on her face when she saw me.

"I'm not even going to ask how long you've been there."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." I walked past her, looking over Pressley's shoulder. "Damn, we really don't have a lot of options."

_)I thought he was exagerating.(_

_*Not so much.*_

"What about a Mako drop?" Shepard asked.

"That might work." I shrugged.

"No, it wouldn't. You need at least 100 meters of open terrain to pull off a drop like that. The nearest I can find near Saren is twenty."

"Twenty meters?" Tali exclaimed, and I could see her doing the math in her head. "The descent angle would be too steep! We'd be lucky to walk away with a few broken bones!"

I rubbed my temples, fighting back a more strongly worded response. "I have an idea. Quit complaining about what we can't do, and tell me what we can do!"

"There is no course of action! We can't use the ship, and we can't use the Mako!" Pressley shouted.

"We have to try." Liara said.

I flared my Biotics slightly. "I don't care if I have to jump from the ship myself and slow myself down with Biotics. I'm not letting Saren get away. Not again."

"Bourne, that's crazy even for you." Garrus said.

"If you have a better idea Garrus, I'd love to hear it."

That shut him up.

"Joker, can you pull it off?" Shepard asked.

"I can do it." He said firmly.

"You can't be serious." Garrus muttered.

"I can do it." Joker said again.

"Works for me." I said, eyes blazing.

"Well it doesn't for me." Garrus said, taking a step towards me.

I shot him a very controlled look. "Now isn't the time Garrus."

"He's right." Tali spoke up. "The mission has to come first. If you let a petty squabble get in the way-"

"Petty squabble?" Garrus and I said in the same incredulous tone.

"_this whole mission might collapse."

I looked at Garrus, but I couldn't read his face. _I guess Quarian logic beats both of our species._

"if you don't want to come, I don't blame you." Shepard said. She crossed her arms. "But if anybody isn't willing to risk it, say so now."

We all stayed silent.

She nodded. "Bourne, what do you think for team?"

I shrugged. "Well, you're the long range expert, and I've got Biotics more than covered"

(_About three times more. But Maybe I should save my strength for the citadel. Singularities would be more useful against that many geth than my charging would be.)_

_*You might be insane, but at least you're a decent strategist.*_

Garrus took a step forward. "You need a tech expert too then. I volunteer."

"No offense Garrus, but I'm the Tech Experthere." Tali said. "I volunteer."

I glanced at Shepard. She looked at me like I was going to have all the answers.

_(Oh stop obsessing over it! Any team will work, it's just about which will work best!)_

_*He's got a point. Just pick a team already.*_

"Liara, I want you stay here. And Wrex, well, Bourne already has your specialties covered." Shepard said.

"Raptor, I'm not as weak as you seem to think I am."

"And if you think I'm backing down from a fight, you've never dealt with a Krogan before."

I groaned. "Look. The Mako won't fit all of you. We can only take two others besides Shepard and I."

"Then who's it going to be?" Garrus asked.

"Good question." Ashley asked from behind me, thankfully now clothed.

_(Wait, what?)_

_)It'd be a little distracting otherwise, don't you think?(_

_*Do you guys ever think of anything besides sex and beer?*_

_)Video games.(_

_(We're in a video game you nitwit!)_

"Extra fire power might come in handy."

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts in order.

"We're getting closer." Joker said. "You guys need to decide on a team and head down to the Mako now."

I looked at Shepard. I grit my teeth, making a decision. I glanced at the two I wanted, and Shepard nodded.

I looked at the team, knowing I might very well be sending them to their deaths.

* * *

><p><strong>And I once again find myself unable to make a decision for myself. I can think of good reasons to take any of them, but while some are practical, others are just because I want to tell a good story. Same logic for leaving them behind.<strong>

**So I'm letting you decide. Let me know in a PM or review who you want the team for the final battle to be. And please do vote. I know that there's about 150 of you that have this channel on your fave stories list, so please help me make it deserving of that praise. (What can I say, you guys think I'm a better writer than I think I am.)**

**So vote for the two you want, and the two that get the most hits are who I'll go with.**

**And don't forget to vote on which version of the sequel hits first.**

**Next chapter is going to be a bit more delayed, probably not until weekend after next, both to give everyone time to vote, and so I can devote more time to re-writing the earlier chapters. And when I say re-writing them, I mean original Karate Kid compared to the remake with Jackie Chan. I really want to wrap that up before I move on to ME2. **

**Until next time, say no to drugs, say yes to jumping. And I wonder if anyone will actually know what that's from. Sayonara.**


	71. Just a quick update

Ok, I know this isn't a new chapter, and some people might be mad about that. But I wanted to give you an update on a few things. So if you just come here to read about Bourne blowing shit up, you can feel free to leave.

The reason I'm delaying work on chapter 71 is that I'm working on the retcon/reboot/rewrite of the earlier chapters. So far, I've got the first two chapters done, and if I can toot my own horn here, I think they turned out pretty well. I want to get to about chapter 5 or so before I move back to the present. Then I'll probably try to get caught up to chapter 12 or so before finishing this thing. After that, redoing it will be easy. I hope.

And here's the reason I wanted to talk to you: I'm looking for someone to beta read those re-written chapters. Firstly because I want to make sure that they're good, yet still keeping with the original spirit they had. And secondly, I want to make extra sure that I haven't repeated myself, or made some dumb spelling/grammer error.

And the other reason I'm delaying is to give you guys time to vote about the squad configuration for Illos. I'll listen to your ideas if they're good, but I can't listen if you guys don't tell me about them. I can think of all sorts of reasons to bring or not bring people. But since I'm also severly conflicted, I figure I'll listen to you guys.

And once again, please vote in the poll for which version of the sequal comes first. Because if the margin stays within a few people, I'm not even going to bother with it.

So if anybody's intrested in beta reading those earlier chapters, please let me know soon so we can get communication sorted out. And if there's more than one of you out there, An extra pair of eyes never hurts.

Until next weekend, I hope, Keelah Se'lai.


	72. Did she really just say that?

**Ok, back for real this time. I'm at least going to get one more chapter in before working on the re-writes some more.**

**I'd like to give a quick shout out to my beta readers, BrambleStar14, Barnet and ConvictionSC. They've actually caught quite a few things I screwed up on, so hopefully when I get the re-writes in there, it'll be even better than I made it. **

**And again, if you haven't already, please vote for the sequel you want to see first. Because that's getting pretty close, and I'm already writing parts of it in my head. Although I might end up tossing out a third version. Or just doing all this again. Who knows?**

* * *

><p>"Wrex, Tali, you're with us."<p>

Tali's eyes widened at Bourne's statement. She was trained in combat by now, but-

"Bourne, if you think I'm letting you take her down there-" Garrus growled

"Stand down Garrus." Shepard ordered.

"Shepard, you can't possibly-"

Bourne's biotics flared around him. "She said to stand down." For once, his voice held no note of humor, and his expression brokered no argument. His face was less impassive than normal; it held an edge. His whole stance was different. Tali had only seen him like this once… _It's almost like… no, it couldn't be._

Garrus was almost cowed. "Bourne-"

"It's the only combo that won't compromise the mission. You and Tali together would both be worried about the other. Raptor would be worrying about Liara the whole time, and the same goes for me and Ash. Which means separating you two and bringing Wrex. End of story."

Garrus paused. Tali was starting to be able to read him better. _Not surprising, considering last night consisted of him holding me in his sleep while I watched him for a long time before falling asleep. _She cursed the lack of a proper clean room and supplies. She just hoped there'd be somewhere after the mission…

"And since I know you're still dumb enough to think I won't watch your back, you won't be watching mine. And I've been shot enough by this point."

Garrus' mouth opened, but nothing came out.

"If you want to keep arguing, do it in the elevator. We'll have plenty of time then. Come on." He said, directing it to Tali and Wrex.

The giant reptile smiled in anticipation of the coming battle. He was a lot different than what Tali had always heard about Krogan in some ways, but in that way, he fit the bill perfectly.

Tali suddenly realized there was something off about the way Bourne was walking, but she couldn't place it. Then she realized what it was. She could hear his every foot step hitting the metal bulkhead. It was difficult to pick out over all the other noises of the ship as Joker readied it for the drop, but she could still hear it if she listened closely. She watched him, and his whole way of movement was different.

Then it suddenly changed back. His footsteps were completely undetectable to her ears, and he seemed more on edge. It was like his whole personality changed suddenly. And the second that the change happened, for a moment it looked like he would trip, though he caught herself.

Tali, being the only Quarian, seemed to be the only one to notice. But if she was right, and she thought she was, now wasn't the time to say it. Besides, he and Garrus had yet to settle their argument.

"Look Garrus, you can argue till you turn blue in the face, or whatever it is you Turians do when you run out of air, but this is the team. Me, Raptor, Tali, and Wrex."

_And why is he suddenly calling Shepard by her first name? I know they're good friends, but the only person I've ever heard call her that is Liara. And she's never called him by his first name that I know of._

They stepped into the elevator, and Shepard rounded on Garrus as soon as the doors closed. "If you want to argue with Bourne, that's fine. But if you can't listen to a direct order, then I'll personally kick you off the Normandy next place we dock after all this."

Bourne shook his head. "This has gone too far to begin with, it's too late for 'sorry'"

Tali had learned that Garrus was very stubborn on a few things, and this was one of them. But maybe he'd listen to her. "Garrus, it wasn't Bourne's fault anyway. It was Iron's. I trust him, Shepard trusts him, I think you're the only one that doesn't. Isn't that enough?" _Keelah, I thought admirals could be stubborn._

"I understand that." Garrus said, seeming subdued.

Bourne held up a hand. "Tali, I appreciate the trust, but in a way it was my fault. I made the mistake to trust Iron. Not a tenth as far as I could throw him without the Biotics, but I was stupid."

"On that Bourne, we can agree."

Bourne's gaze moved back to Garrus. "Which is another reason I'm leaving you here. I have sort of a plan to make things easier, but I know already you won't like it."

"Feel like letting the rest of us in on it Bourne?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms.

"Well, remember back at Saren's base? When Iron revealed himself to Saren?"

"You mean when he slipped up and revealed that you lied?"

Bourne looked at him in exasperation. "Would you have believed in the first place?"

Garrus shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. But what does that have to do with your plan?"

"Well, obviously, Iron is a maniac and now hates everyone in this elevator." He smiled. "But he hates Saren and Soveriegn even more."

"I'm not liking where this is going…" Garrus muttered.

"Once Iron figured out that Saren had been controlling him, that he hadn't volunteered… remember how much more powerful my Biotics were when we were both after him?"

"I remember him kicking your ass and Shepard saving you at the last minute."

"You're just jealous you couldn't make a shot like that in a million years."

That stopped him in his tracks. Garrus was very proud of his abilities as a Sniper.

"As long as Saren's alive, we can trust Iron. And if we have our way, he won't be alive much longer. And can I point out now Iron, that if you try anything after that, they'll now be ready for it? It would be much better if you just helped us with whatever Sovereign's friends try. And considering that you're outnumbered, you won't be able to take over our body easily."

Garrus' mandibles twitched in discomfort. "You realize you just referred to your body as his too?"

Bourne didn't reply, and his face went to its unreadable mode.

But Tali wasn't watching his face. His body was shifting ever so slightly, and it seemed in a pattern. Her engineer's eyes watched it and studied it. It was shifting in the same way every time, and only for a moment. But the pattern wasn't in two, it was in three.

"Bourne, is there someone else in your head? Besides Iron?"

* * *

><p>If my poker face had been even slightly worse, I would have been found out in an instant. I was expecting a lot of things that day, <em>but I was not expecting <span>that<span> question._ Least of all from Tali. I only just managed to keep my jaw off the floor. Even a month ago I wouldn't have managed that, but I had well learned the art of deceit. But her sentence was like a stab to the gut. Fitting, considering what Iron had done to her.

_(Ok, own up. Who told?)_

_)Not Funny(_

_(It's a little funny.)_

_*This is serious. Considering all the crap you've done… you think they'll trust Bourne now?*_

_(Hmm… have you considered, oh I don't know, Lying about it?)_

_)Bad idea.(_

_*No, it's a horrible idea, because…. Wait, what?*_

_)Has a single other lie I've told not been found out yet? If I tell them that, I just know it'll bite me in the ass. Better to get it over with now.(_

_*….*_

_(Someone pull her string, she's not talking now. I think you broke her. Sweet.)_

_*Fuck you.*_

_(Damn it.)_

I sighed. "Yes." I tried to keep it short and confident, but it came out sounding more like an admission of guilt.

The atmosphere in the elevator suddenly became thick enough to cut with one of my many knives.

"But, Hero is nothing like Iron." I added quickly, controlling my voice with some effort. I tried to erase any doubt from it.

"Who names these guys?" Shepard muttered.

"You have no room to talk Commander Dinosaur."

_*Right, because that's a good idea right now.*_

_)She already knows about you, remember?(_

Garrus crossed his arms. I couldn't figure his expression, but his voice was smug. "And how long have you known?"

"Since I passed out after Virmire. That was Hero's way of getting our attention. We had a nice little chat, and she promised to help me contain Iron."

"Yes, well, look how well that worked out. Didn't he-" I placed him in stasis mid-sentence.

"At the rate you keep interrupting Garrus, this is the only way I'll get to say more than two sentences in a row."

_*And you wonder why he doesn't trust you.*_

"And you wonder why he doesn't trust you Bourne." Shepard said, shaking her head.

_(Is there an echo in here?)_

_)Is there an echo in here?(_

_(Very funny.)_

_)Funnier than your constant dead baby jokes.(_

_(You really want something funny? Look in a mirror.)_

_)We have practically the same face moron. But mine doesn't look like it was run over by a lawn mower and melted in lava.(_

_(It's your own damn fault for not getting the med bay upgrade and fixing it. You couldn't have done that?)_

_)You thought they looked cool.(_

_(They do.)_

_*Focus!*_

I pushed the distraction away. "The real reason he doesn't trust me is Tali. If it had been someone else, he would have gotten over it by now."

I decided to let him out of stasis just because I wanted to hear his reply.

He growled of all things. _Then again, I guess that is what he evolved from. _

"Isn't that why you wanted to get Williams and leave Kaiden behind?"

_Oh, he did not just say that!_

_*Bourne, calm down. He's trying to bait you. If you do something stupid, it'll only prove his point.*_

_(Nah, you should beat the tar out of him.)_

_*See? Iron agrees with me.*_

_(What? Do you need your ears… well we don't really have ears in here, but you get the idea.)_

_*I mean that Bourne's usually smart enough to do the opposite of what you say.*_

_(Not when I take over and turn him into my puppet)_

My hands tightened into fists. "Garrus, look me in the eye and tell me that if it had been you making that call, and it had been Tali in Ashley's place, that you wouldn't have done the same damn thing."

He looked away.

"That's what I thought. And it's exactly why I chose this arrangement."

_(That, and Liara would probably get distracted by all the Prothean stuff.)_

_*Huh, that's actually a good point. But you know that she's going to be upset later?*_

_)I know you aren't tech people, but is there some recording program on my Omni-tool I could use? Give it to her as a gift?(_

_(Why would I tell you if there was?)_

_*You'd be better off telling Raptor to do it. Just don't do it as an innuendo please?*_

_)Why?(_

_*When she hits you, it hurts.*_

_(That might be the first time you and I have ever agreed Hero.)_

I shrugged. "Besides, Shepard would probably have to drag Liara away from any Prothean artifacts every five minutes."

Liara made a small noise of indignation. "That is not true!"

"Don't worry Liara. I'll take plenty of vids and holos." Shepard said with a small smile.

"Good idea boss. It'd make a great anniversary present."

She turned and glared at me.

"Ok come on, I was good that time. I could have said it a lot more- " I realized my foot was hovering in front of my mouth. I shook my head. "Quit now while you're behind Bourne." I muttered

_*Yeah, that's probably a good idea.*_

Raptor rolled her eyes.

Garrus scrutinized me closely. "Even if I approved of this, how do you know that this Hero guy is really trust worthy?"

_(Heh, he thinks you're a guy.)_

_*Why do they always think that? Hero does not sound like a guy's name. It sounds like-*_

I blocked her out and smirked. "Why don't you tell me Garrus. You've already talked to Hero twice."

Even I could tell he was surprised. The jaw hitting the floor seemed fairly universal between species.

"Remember in the cargo bay? You know, you aimed a gun at me, Hero put up a shield and talked you down? And just a few minutes ago when you were trying to act all tough and I was about ready to knock you out to shut you up." I made a show of throwing my arms in the air. "But for some reason, Hero decided that it was a bad idea, so she asked to try talking to you instead. Now I'm really regretting letting her."

_*Letting me? You didn't even see it coming!*_

_)If I told him you could just take over willy-nilly, would that help this situation?(_

_(There are times for secrecy. Or wait, did I tell the Admiralty Board what Tali's father was up to?)_

_)Just what do you have against Tali?(_

_(She talks way too much. I mean, it was like blah blah Geth, blah blah it's hard on the flotilla, blah-)_

Hero cut him off mid blah. _)Thanks.(_

_*Any time.*_

"So she can take over if she wants?" Garrus asked.

_*Wow, this is some thin ice. Either answer can bite you.*_

_)Because if I say yes it freaks him out, and if I say no, murphy's law says they'll find out I'm lying later.(_

_*Pretty much.*_

I shrugged. "I'm not really sure. I don't think she can, but maybe if the situation was desperate enough…"

_*Not bad. Neutral, with room to cover your ass later.*_

"Garrus, fact is it doesn't matter." Raptor broke in. "We need all the help we can get against Saren."

"That won't help matters much when Iron decides to stab us in the back. And with all the knives Bourne carries, he'll probably be quite literal about it."

_*Well, that's a good sign.*_

_)What is?(_

_*That he's blaming Iron now instead of just you.*_

_(But I liked it when he just blamed Bourne!)_

_)Iron, I'll make you a deal. If you shut up until we reach the Citadel, I will let you blast the hell out of Saren, and let you be the one to kill him.(_

_(As if there was ever any doubt.) _He faded away.

_*You're smart enough to not trust him, right?*_

_)Oh, no, I trust the guy that's tried to kill me more times than I can count completely. What do you think?(_

_*I'm just saying. Better safe than sorry. Or can you honestly say that you don't think he's up to something?*_

I grunted.

The elevator doors opened.

"Tell you what Garrus. If you really want to help, how about you try making this damn elevator go faster?"

Tali and Wrex headed to grab their gear. I could almost smell Wrex's excitement. Or maybe he just didn't fit in the showers.

Garrus grabbed my shoulder. "Bourne, I'm only going along with this because I don't have a choice. But if anything happens to Tali-"

"I'll keep her safe Garrus. But I'd feel a lot better if I knew you were keeping an eye on Ash for me."

"And on Liara." Shepard put in. It was really hard to not make a comment that would end up with me getting punched.

"So, eye for an eye?" Garrus muttered, taking his hand off me. "Well, I guess that's the best offer I'm going to get."

Ashley cleared her throat. "Jason, one question? Since when do I need protection?"

"Well, it's more the thought of the thing-"

"Skipper, do me a favor and make sure he stays alive?"

I crossed my arms. "You're kidding right? I just know I'm going to end up saving Shepard's ass more than she'll save mine."

"Bourne, I'm standing right here. With a lot of guns."

"So? Not as many guns as there'll be down there."

Ashley surprised me with another long kiss. I wrapped my arms around here, leaning into it. She pulled away with a smile. "Just make sure you come back in piece."

I faux groaned. "God I wish we had more time before we had to head down there."

Shepard laughed. "If you really need it Bourne, go ahead. I'm pretty sure we can spare two minutes."

My jaw dropped as I turned to Shepard, racking my brain for some sort of come-back.

_(No, I think the only response is to flip her off, and everyone would regret that.)_

_*Damn though, that was a good one.*_

_)Oh both of you shut up.(_

"How long have you been saving that one Shepard?"

"Since this morning."

I shook my head. "Can we just go before I come to my senses and stay here?"

"Getting cold feet Bourne?" Garrus asked.

I shot him the bird and climbed into the mako.

"So, guess this is the big one, huh?" Wrex said.

"One way or another, this ends today." Shepard affirmed.

"Here's to hoping it ends with Saren dead and Sovereign blows up." I said.

"You really don't like Saren, do you?" Shepard joked.

"You're one to talk, considering you blew off half of his face."

"Only because I had to save your ass. Which I'm sure Ashley is grateful for."

"Damn, you're just full of those today."

"Guess it must be your influence."

"So does that mean I'm going to turn into a-" I managed to clamp my mouth shut before I said something that I'd regret. "Never mind."

"Good idea Bourne."

Shepard sat down and strapped herself in. I did a quick check of my own restraints.

I groaned suddenly.

"What's the matter?" Tali asked.

Joker's voice came over the system. "Dropping in three-"

"It just occurred to me what exactly I'm doing." I said.

"Two-"

"You mean the combat drop into a place full of Geth?" Wrex said.

"One."

"No, I mean dropping in this death traaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhh!"

_(Oh stop whining. You won't fall that long, and even if you do it won't be the fall that kills us. It's the part where we stop falling.)_

_)I hate you so much.(_

_(Wow, newsflash.)_

* * *

><p><strong>And, that's going to do it for this chapter. Actual combat and blah blah blah should be next chapter.<strong>

**Until next time, Keelah Selai.**


	73. Well, this is awkward

**And… Ok, no real intro this time. **

**Except for a reminder to vote in the poll. It looks like only about half of you have voted. Or it might just be my ego talking. **

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, you'd be able to use the Cain in ME3 a lot more. As in, more than just once on the last level.**

* * *

><p>The Mako hit the ground hard, and I was grateful for the restraints. But I was less grateful I had eaten such a large breakfast as I tried to keep it down.<p>

The tank stopped just inches from the door.

_*Well, look on the bright side. You'll never have to do this again.*_

_(Ughh, you know how you always say I make you feel like throwing up? Because I'm somehow nauseated now. Which I don't fully understand considering I don't have a stomach.)_

_)Do it and die.(_

_(Well, with those options… can I have a minute to think about it?)_

I forced my bile down and got out of my seat.

"See Bourne? That wasn't so bad." Shepard deadpanned as she opened the door and jumped out.

"What makes you think I thought it would be bad?"

"Maybe the fact that you were screaming the whole time down?"

"It was not the whole time. I stopped when I was worried I was going to hurl."

Shepard sighed.

"What? I don't like heights!"

"So let me get this straight. A Krogan can come charging at you and you stay calm under fire, yet as soon as I mention this thing-"

"I can't shoot the Mako like I can a Krogan. Well, maybe I could but it wouldn't-"

"Are you two done arguing yet?" Wrex rumbled.

_Oh, yeah, important mission._

_*Very Important mission! There's only a handful that are even close to as important!*_

_(That's why we're here to give him back up. Speaking of which, you probably should power up.)_

_*Why me first?*_

_)Charging won't do much good here, it'll only get me surrounded. Singularities on the other hand, would make it much easier to kill Geth. I'd rather punch Saren Saren in the face a few times.(_

_*Fair point.*_

I felt a surge in my power.

_*Just try to pace yourself. It would be bad if you tired yourself out here. So would running out of knives.*_

_)I've got enough knives on my belt to cover any I may lose.(_

_(Wouldn't it be so much more satisfying to save them for Saren though?)_

"Bourne, are you even listening?"

"Something about getting this door open, and there must be an override somewhere?" I said, guessing based on what happened in the game.

"Glad to see your head's in the game." Wrex rumbled. "Distraction's a good way to get yourself killed."

"Relax Wrex. I don't plan on dying today."

"No one does."

"Well, not unless-"

"Will you two just shut up and come on?" Shepard yelled back. She had somehow already started killing Geth. I was both impressed by that, and extremely jealous. _Any chance of you could teach me that?_

_(Yeah, good luck getting a favor from me.)_

_*I was always more of a doer than a teacher.*_

I readied my rifle and sprinted towards Raptor. I fired at the Geth wherever I could see them. Which wasn't often, and I was barely scoring any hits at this range. Raptor had taken out anything close.

Wrex was right beside me, Shotgun in one hand, other hand Biotically glowing.

The Geth were quick to get behind cover. They were still that smart. So were we. I crouched next to Wrex, across from Shepard and Tali.

"Well, this is going well." I looked at Shepard. "Ideas?"

"Tali, give us some support. Knock out guns, hacking them, you know the drill."

Her Omni-tool was already at the ready.

"Bourne, get those things out of cover so I can put a bullet in their head."

Enhanced by Hero's power, I stood up and launched a pair of singularities into the two spots the Geth were the most dense. Shepard began scoring headshots.

"Wrex-" Shepard smiled. "Do what you do best."

He ran in with a savage roar.

_(Ok, I'm really glad he's on our side.)_

_*Do me a favor and don't sabotage that cure later. I really don't want him mad at us.*_

_)You think?(_

I pulled my pistol and started picking off any damaged Geth, lifting them into view. I had to smile as the explosive rounds hit their mark. Shepard was also quick to point out where she needed my powers.

_*Don't you mean my powers?*_

_)Same difference.(_

_*Like you'd be able to do all this without me buffering you.*_

I launched a warp field to finish off a weakened Geth. Shepard and Wrex were doing most of the heavy lifting. _Literally_ I thought as I saw Wrex throw a Geth a good twenty feet back.

"Bourne, one over there!"

I looked where Shepard was pointing and the Geth rose out from behind its cover. Its head exploded a moment later.

_(Damn, if there's one good thing I'll say about her, it's that she's a good shot.)_

_)Good shot? That's the understatement of the century.(_

Wrex charged around a corner, and I heard him firing his gun a few times.

I heard a big explosion, and then Wrex came flying back towards us.

"Issues Wrex?"

A Geth armature came into view. "Oh. Well, that explains that, doesn't it?" I sent a warp field at it. "Tali, take down that thing's shields!"

"Already on it." She answered, three fingered-hand surprisingly dexterous as it moved across her Omni-tool.

Its shields flared and died. I noticed Wrex getting back to his feet. "Would you like to do the honors Wrex?"

"If it isn't too much trouble." He rumbled sarcastically.

"No, go ahead."

He charged at it, shotgun in hand, firing at it as he went.

I activated my powers and pulled half the knives off of my left arm. I tightened my fist, packing them into a big pointy missile. _This ought to do the trick. _I launched the projectile past Wrex and hit the thing right in a weak point near a joint.

One of the legs collapsed out from under it, and it fell. It tried to get back up, and I sent a warp field at another leg. It hung there, halfway up and halfway down.

It looked up at Wrex, who grabbed its head and lined it up. He rammed his headplate into it, and the Geth's just… Broke. All of it.

"Damn Wrex, you have got to teach me how to do that."

Then he fell backward onto the ground.

"Ok, never mind." I started walking over, not seeing any more hostiles.

_(Trust me, Krogan heads are tough. It might have looked badass ramming my head into one of them, but it hurt like a bitch. Gave me a migraine the rest of the day.)_

_)I'll keep that in mind. But I've got no sympathy for you.(_

_(I figured as much.)_

I pulled back the knives, but all but one was useless now. I discarded them in disgust, replacing them with the spares in my belt.

"I think we're clear here."

Another Armature suddenly stepped out of cover. I knew it was only a machine, but the way it looked at me, I could swear it was glaring and passing judgment.

"God, I really hate being wrong."

It charged up its cannon.

I dropped into a combat crouch and scanned the battlefield for some debris I could use as a shield or weapon. There wasn't any. I was out in the open, and completely exposed.

I looked back at the Geth. _Well, this is an unfortunate turn of events._

It charged up its pulse cannon and I raised my hands instinctively.

I felt a sudden surge in Biotics, along with losing control.

Hero raised my hands, creating a powerful dome of energy that the pulse took down in one shot. But it left me unscathed. Hero reached towards the destroyed Armature and lifted it.

_)God, why didn't I think of that?(_

The destroyed one was sent flying into the one still active. Hero sent a warp field at it as she walked towards it.

_*You're good for not having any formal training. But let's face it, I'm N7, you aren't.*_

_(So am I, just want to point that out.)_

_)Is that how Tali beat you with almost no effort?(_

_(Shut up. She had help.)_

_)Uh huh.(_

Iron withdrew. Hero used my pistol to put a few rounds into the armature's head. "And stay down."

Her voice sounded different from mine or Iron's, but thankfully it wasn't high pitched and girly or really feminine or something. It just was just distinct.

_*You know I can hear you?*_

_)Yeah. Now, can I have control of my body back?(_

_*What's the magic-*_

_)I have quite the extensive collection of horrible music I could play for you.(_

She just kept me standing there.

_)Fine. Please.(_

_*Say pretty please.*_

_)You are just loving this, aren't you?(_

_(Quit messing around. I'm not going to have my revenge screwed up now because of some-)_

Hero just cut him off. And gave me back control of my body. I shook my head. No matter how many times it happened, and I was hoping it wouldn't be much more, I could never get used to that sensation.

Shepard and the others walked over to me. "Not bad."

"Thanks."

"Actually, I was talking to Hero."

I opened my mouth to protest, but thought better of it. "How'd you know it wasn't me?"

"Call it a woman's intuition. You aren't nearly that smart about it. And you were walking a lot differently."

_(Wait, does she mean what I think she means?)_

_)I sincerely hope not.(_

_(Because, well, that would be really-)_

_)I know.(_

_*Look, I was trying to not be too obvious about it, but your anatomy is a lot different-*_

_)This conversation is over. Permanently.(_

"Huh, weird." I said nonchalantly. _No way am I letting Tali find out that Hero's a chick. I just know Garrus would end up finding out somehow. Probably because she'd tell him._

_(Don't be such a baby. Although if you were one, it'd make you that much more fun to kill.)_

_)Iron, shut up.(_

_(Or else what? You'll play bad music?)_

_) Worse. I'll kill Saren quickly and painlessly.(_

_(That is just a low blow!)_

_)Then quit pissing me off.(_

_(Fine.)_

_*You two are so-*_

I blocked them both out. "Come on. We aren't done here yet."

Raptor nodded agreement.

"Have to say though. Didn't think Protheans looked like that." Wrex muttered.

I turned to see a group of statues. They looked almost like really tall husks.

_*Actually, they don't look like that.*_

_(Yeah, they're a lot uglier.)_

Raptor walked over and snapped a pic with her Omni-tool. "Liara is going to freak out when she sees this."

I shrugged. "What makes you so sure those are Protheans? They might be their gods or something"

Shepard turned to me. "You don't sound like_"

"I was put together by the guys that wiped out the Protheans, remember? I picked up on a few things. "

"Pity you didn't pick up the common sense not to shoot down a woman when she's excited about a gift for her-" She cut off suddenly.

"No, go ahead. What is Liara to you?"

"I'm not going to say it Bourne."

"You mean not going to admit it. I swear I need to get you two into couple's therapy so you can just work past this whole mono-gendered nonsense."

She shot me a very dirty look.

"But maybe we should worry about stopping Saren first."

"Good idea. Because I think if you had gone on much longer, I would have had to shoot you."

Wrex laughed. "You say that like it'd be a loss."

Tali just shook her head. "I will never, as long as I live, understand Aliens."

I chuckled. "Nah, I think it's just a human thing."

* * *

><p>"Ok, so apparently <span>slow elevators<span> aren't just a human thing."

"Bourne, are you ever going to stop whining about these things?"

"I'm just saying. We're in the ruins of a civilization that's way more advanced than ours, yet the elevators only go at this speed?"

Shepard sighed. "At least you aren't scared of going underground."

"Why would I be?"

"Well, if you don't like being really high above the ground-"

"I could do sky diving or something like that easy. It's the part where I'm in a metal death trap that gets to me."

"You complain too much. You complain about the Mako, you complain about elevators-"

"You complain about me complaining, and I don't call you out on it."

"You just did."

"Yeah, but you called me out first."

"You are just a-"

Tali spoke up, more to drown us out that anything I think. "This elevator still has power, so it must have its own generator. Unless the Geth brought one."

Wrex was quick to join in before Shepard or I could. "Then this must be the command center for this whole place. I'll bet Saren's troops sealed the place from in here after he went into the bunker."

"So we need to figure out what to disable to get in." Shepard said.

_Oh come on, even she's tired of the conversation now?_

_*You've been arguing for a full three minutes! Ever since you got in here! I was about ready to take over your body just to give these three some peace and quiet!*_

_(Harshness. I like it.)_

_)Why me? Why not that fat kid from my chemistry class? He was even more obsessed with the series than me!(_

_(You don't remember anything like that.)_

_)You know what I mean you idiot. I think I'm aloud one or two morose rants.(_

_(… Dude, did you really just say morose?)_

_)It's a real word!(_

_(Yeah, for nerds.)_

_)Shut up.(_

Finally, the elevator opened and let us out into a tunnel.

Wrex let out a sigh of relief. "Finally. I need to kill something and work off this stress."

_Here's hoping it's Geth he'll be killing._

_*Agreed.*_

_(I don't know about that. Say there were a few small children in here…)_

_)Have I mentioned how much I hate you lately?(_

_( Maybe once or twice.)_

* * *

><p>"Geez, I know Saren has an entire army of these things, but this seems a bit like overkill." Bourne quipped as he stored his shoulder knife, pulling it out of a Geth's head. He then ripped off the Geth's head and threw it at another Geth, followed by a Biotic punch right to its chest. "I mean, I think I've lost track of how many of these things I've killed."<p>

Shepard took a deep breath as she sighted in on a Geth Prime. Tali took down its shields and Shepard put a round through its eye. It flailed a moment before falling to the ground.

"Is that all of them?" Tali asked.

A Severed Geth arm suddenly landed by her, courtesy of Wrex. Or maybe it was Bourne, Shepard couldn't tell. Both had disappeared behind a pillar, blocking her view of them.

There was a pair of shots from Wrex's gun, then a loud yell from Bourne. Shepard raised her gun, ready to kill any Geth as soon as she saw them.

Bourne walked out holding the two separate halves of a Geth. "Ah, I love the smell of dead Geth in the morning. Smells like victory."

Shepard sighed. "We clear?"

Bourne nodded as he dropped the Geth. "It doesn't look like there's anymore. And this time I think I'm actually right."

"Good. I've had about all the Geth I can take for one day." Tali said darkly as she rushed over.

Shepard switched to her Assault Rifle as she moved up a ramp into a room overlooking the previous battle ground. She was stubborn about sniping, but that didn't mean she was suicidal. And it was her second best weapon.

Bourne moved ahead, barrier at full strength. He looked around, then waved them into the room. "I think this is the right spot."

Shepard turned to Tali. "See anything that might be the switch?"

She pointed to a glowing green screen. "Call me crazy, but I think that might be it."

"Oh, yeah."

Bourne opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it at a sharp look from Shepard.

"Whatever we need to do, let's do it fast. Saren might already have found the conduit." Wrex said.

"In which case we might be walking into a trap. It might seem like a bad idea to take it slow, but time spent thinking clearly is almost never time wasted." Bourne replied. He frowned as Tali seemed to struggle. "Something wrong Tali?"

"It isn't responding." She answered, hands darting across the screen.

"I hate to advise you of all people on tech, but are you sure you're even hitting the right thing?"

Tali turned and looked at him. It was obvious she was glaring. "I've tried every single control on here."

Bourne didn't say anything, he just reached over and hit a spot on the console. A display came up, showing the bunker doors opening.

Tali stared at him wide eyed.

He shrugged. "That's the one spot you didn't try."

"How did you -"

"Perfect memory, remember? If I can keep track of cards shifting around, it isn't too hard to keep track of-"

A hologram suddenly appeared behind him. "Bourne…" Shepard interrupted, pointing.

He turned to look at it, then back to her.

"Ok, I'd say I did… something." Bourne deadpanned.

"Bourne, have I ever mentioned how annoying your complete lack of facial emotion can be at times?"

"Sorry. Would this be better?" He made an exaggerated surprised face. Shepard walked up to the Hologram, punching Bourne's arm on the way.

He rubbed his arm, standing next to her in front of it. "How come you never do this sort of thing to Garrus or Wrex?"

The Hologram began speaking, some sort of warning, but Shepard could only make out about every fourth word._ And it seems especially cryptic._

Wrex grunted. "Thing must be busted. I'm not understanding a word of it."

"Wrex, it's probably in Prothean, 50,000 years old. I'd be amazed if you did understand it." Tali said.

Bourne chuckled. "Then… I guess you should be amazed. It's a lot of static, but I can make out enough to tell that it's a warning."

Shepard nodded. "Same here. So then, why can't you guys?"

Tali looked between them, and she was obviously confused.

Wrex brought a hand to his ear. "I think somebody's translator is glitching."

Shepard looked at Bourne. "Well, we can understand it. Maybe something to do with Human translators compared to theirs?"

He thought about it for a moment. "No, that doesn't seem right. If either of them ended up breaking it, they'd fix it. Or in Wrex's case, find someone else who could fix it."

"Bourne, you know that he's right there?"

Wrex shook his head. "Ok, someone want to tell me what's going on here?"

"Check your translators." Tali said.

"You mean you guys can't understand us?" Bourne asked.

Wrex started checking his translator, and Tali did the same

"Ok, I'd say that's a no." Bourne looked as confused as Shepard did. Which was odd in and of itself. "I'm understand everything they're saying, and everything you're saying, but if it's only going one way-" He stopped suddenly. "Iron, that's a stupid suggestion even for you."

"Something you want to share Bourne?"

"Not particularly. Unless you think that listening to the ramblings of a maniac would be productive right now."

Tali's hand snaked around to her shotgun. "Ok, this is starting to worry me. Why can't we understand you two?"

Bourne nodded to himself. "See Iron, take Hero's lead. She actually has good ideas." He brought up his Omni-tool and started typing. It converted it to speech a moment later. "Tali, check your translators again. We're still understanding it on our end. Not sure why you two aren't."

Tali looked at him in shock. "I understood that, but you sound like the message when you talk."

He frowned and typed another message. "Wait, say that again. We sound like this hologram?"

She nodded.

Bourne looked at the Hologram, then back at Shepard. She could see the wheels in his head turning.

Bourne's jaw dropped suddenly. "Son of a bitch. Iron was right."

Shepard spun him around to face her. "Right about what Bourne? What's going on?"

He returned his face to its blank state. "Well, unless I'm really, really, really wrong, we're speaking Prothean right now."

"What?"

"And it would seem we're stuck that way."

Shepard just stared at him, the message droning on in the background.


	74. That Stung a Bit

Shepard just stared at Bourne, stunned. "Wait, did I hear that right?"

"You and I both got the Cipher, they didn't. I mean, we're understanding a message that's clearly in prothean, so-"

"And you got this idea from Iron. That right there should tell you something."

"Shepard, I've had to deal with this guy for…" He shook his head. "Longer than I care to think about. But point is, he's a psychopathic murderer, but he's not a complete idiot. And Tali just said that you and I sound like the message."

Shepard shook her head. "Ok, well then, how do we turn it off?"

"No idea."

"Great."

He shrugged. Then he frowned. "Forget it Hero. It's not happening. No, I don't care that it would hurt you and Iron too, that doesn't mean… Ok, yeah, so you're willing to take it. That doesn't mean-"

"Bourne, you realize you keep talking to them aloud?"

He sighed. Then his fist swung up and hit her right above her eye. Shepard stumbled back, cursing. "Bourne…"

She delivered a right hook that that knocked him back a few feet. Then she came at him with a punch to the face that knocked him right on his ass. Literally. "That was really stupid." She finished.

He stayed there a moment, then just collapsed, looking at the ceiling. He groaned "Someone please tell me that worked, so I know my suffering isn't in vain."

Wrex shook his head. "I don't think I even want to know what just happened."

"Can you understand us now?"

Tali nodded. "We can, but what did I just see?"

"Well, since Shepard and I were stuck speaking prothean, I figured we had to do some basic cognitive recalibration."

Shepard crossed her arms. "Meaning?"

"I hit you in the head. Then you hit me really hard in the head. Twice. Then I fell on the ground and hit my head again. And now I really want to just lie here and sleep for a while."

"You hit me first."

"For the record, it was Hero's idea. Seemed like a better idea before I did it."

He got back to his feet, activating his omni-tool and applying some medi-gel under his eye.

"Bourne, have I ever told you that you're completely insane?" Shepard sighed.

He looked at her like she was an idiot. "Hey Raptor, I have two voices in my head, and I just took the advice of one of them. I think crazy's been tossed out the window by now."

"Good point. Although it really worries me when you put it that way."

He rubbed his head. "C'mon. Let's get out of here before we get stuck like that again."

Shepard shrugged. "Well, it might come in handy if we could control it. Say we're somewhere being monitored, then they'd have no idea what we were saying."

"Yeah, but let's not try that anytime soon. Not unless we can figure out a better cure." He raised a hand to his head. "Oh yeah, I'll be feeling that tomorrow."

He drew his shotgun. "But on the brightside, I'm now pissed, and there'll be more than enough Geth to take it out on." He started back tracking, and the others followed him.

"Now might not be the best time to ask, but with your perfect memory, did you catch anything useful from the message?"

He thought for a moment. "I remember what it said, but it was pretty broken up. Something about the conduit, and the Reapers."

"So nothing we don't already know?"

"No, not really."

Shepard got the feeling he was holding something back, but she knew it was useless to pry. And especially not in front of Wrex.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can't wait to get back to the Mako."

Shepard looked at him in shock.

He caught her look. "I might hate that heap of junk, but it has rockets. And I really want to blow some stuff up."

"Get in line Bourne." Wrex said.

"Or I can work navigation. Whatever makes everyone happy."

Wrex grunted. "Huh, thought you were tougher than that."

"Normally I would be, but my head is still ringing from Shepard's punch."

Wrex just laughed.

"Hey, you ever felt one of those punches, you'd know where I'm coming from."

* * *

><p><em>)Ok, I take it back. I'd rather be almost anywhere than inside this tank.(<em>

Wrex had the guns, Tali was running navigation, and Shepard was driving. _I don't know why I didn't just take that position myself. I can't be a worse driver than her. And maybe being in at the controls would make all this shaking around a little more bearable._

_*I don't know about that. Those things aren't easy to drive.*_

_)Did I ask you Hero? I think I can go without your ideas for a while.(_

_(Oh, you aren't still sore about that, are you?)_

_)Yes Iron, my head is still throbbing, so I'd say I'm plenty sore. Feels like my brain is going to burst out.(_

_(Well, if you did get some sort of alien in your head that will kill you, can you please wait until after I kill Saren to die?)_

I didn't bother responding to that one. I wouldn't even have known where to begin.

I felt a jolt as Shepard hit the jets on the Mako, jumping over a rocket. I saw Wrex firing a few in return.

I was just hoping that we could get to the conduit soon. Being jolted around like this was starting to wear on me.

_*Bourne, have you considered the fact that I felt it to?*_

_(So did I!)_

_*Yeah, but I'm guessing he doesn't really care about that.*_

_)I hope it hurt like hell you pyscopath.(_

_*See?*_

_(Argh, I'm going to go root through your memories some more. I won't let it be said that I stay where I'm not wanted.)_

I winced as he broke into that bone chilling laughter. Then he was gone.

I'd be lying if I said I was sorry to see him go.

"Hey Tali, any idea where we are?"

"None. For all this talk of me being the navigator, I have no idea where we're going."

I suddenly felt my center of gravity change. Next thing I knew, I was upside down, and very glad I was strapped into my seat. I just sighed. This had become almost routine by now.

"Raptor, I swear to whatever god there is that I am never, ever, in a million years letting you drive this thing ever again. Ever!"

Shepard hit a few controls, firing the jets and getting us back on our wheels. "Like you could do better?"

"I wouldn't end up flipping over every time I drove this thing."

She unstrapped from the driver's seat and sat down in the seat across from me.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

"If you're such a good driver, go ahead and take over."

_Well, now I'm screwed. Ok, swallow my pride and admit I'm going to be no better than her, or- Fuck it, there is no way I'm letting her drive again._

_*I just know this is a bad idea.*_

_)Well, you'd certainly know a bad idea. You've been pretty good at having bad ones today.(_

_*I'm sorry, wasn't it my idea to have you use the Omni-tool to talk to Tali and Wrex?*_

_)You're right, punching Raptor in the face wasn't a bad idea. It was damn near suicidal!(_

_(Jeez man, calm down. Considering the likelihood that you might die today, you should really save some of this for Saren.)_

I blocked them out as I sat down. I cracked my knuckles, then started hitting controls, moving us forward. I managed to avoid most of the big bumps. It was pretty smooth sailing, with Wrex shooting down a few Geth along the way.

* * *

><p>After about five minutes, I couldn't help but look back at Shepard to gloat. "See? I'm not so bad."<p>

Shepard's eyes suddenly widened and I turned back to the view screen.

I saw a giant energy field rushing towards us, and frantically tried to stop the Mako.

It was an unfortunate design flaw in the restraints that let my whole body stay in motion and allow my face to hit the view screen at high speed.

"Bourne…"

"Don't… even say… anything Shepard." I managed to get out, prying my face off of the controls. _That's going to leave a mark. Or well, another Mark._

_*That one's on you.*_

_)Noted.(_

_(Yeah, you really could have remember that that was there.)_

_)I got the message the first time.(_

"That wall wasn't there a minute ago." Wrex muttered. He moved the gun around. "And neither was that one behind us."

"An ambush?" Tali suggested, shotgun already in hand. She seemed to be looking at me, which made me really nervous.

"I don't think this was Saren. If it was, we'd be surrounded by Geth." He replied.

Shepard popped the hatch and hopped out, gun in hand. "I'm not seeing anything."

I jumped out next to her. My head was still throbbing.

_*You know, if you were willing to apologize, I might be able to help you block that out.*_

_(What? And be a total wimp? Just walk it off.)_

_*Do you really think he's going to listen to you?*_

_)I think for the next half hour, I'm just going to ignore both of you.(_

"Door over here." Shepard said. "Come on. Maybe we can get some answers."

I groaned. "Another elevator?"

"Maybe this one will be faster."

I just sighed and got in. The thing moved downward into the complex. Between the effort of trying to block out Iron and Hero, and the throbbing already in my head, it was hard to keep still.

"Ok, how long is this damn elevator ride going to take?" I shouted.

"Bourne, it's been about thirty seconds." Shepard said.

I just stared at her.

"Like I said, you complain a lot."

"At least I don't-"

"Bourne, whatever you're about to say, just assume it's a bad idea to say it to me."

I snapped my mouth shut.

"Good boy."

I just glared at her until the elevator doors finally opened, my head feeling like an overripe melon.

"Well, look at that. We're here, and now you're still alive."

I forced myself to smile. "After you, Commander." I said, gritting my teeth.

"Thanks Lieutenant." She said with a smirk.

I just shook my head as I followed them.

_*Wait, I just thought of something.*_

_)What, another way to make Raptor hit me?*(_

_*Bourne, shut up and listen.* _She sounded serious, so I did.

_*When I was here, The VI only showed up because it could tell that none of my group was indoctrinated. Same goes for Iron.*_

_(Ok, and are you going somewhere with this?)_

Iron's comment actually made me realize what she was getting at. _)Iron, in case you forgot, Saren indoctrinated you.(_

_(Don't remind me)_

_)But because Hero crashed our ship and gave us all amnesia, it wore off. But as far as this thing might tell…(_

A hologram sprung up at the back of the room. "Indoctrinated presence detected! Activating Security Protocols!"

_*Shit.*_

_(Fuck!)_

_)This is just not my day.(_

* * *

><p><strong>I decided it's been too long since giving you guys a good cliff hanger.<strong>

**Until next time, Keelah Selai.**


	75. Just give me what I need already!

**Wow, I am really bad at guessing how long this would take. I was hoping to be done by 75 chapters. But since that would be the longest chapter ever, I guess I'll just stop worrying about it. Especially since my re-writing of the first 2 chapters already turned into 5 chapters. Not even kidding. I sucked as a writer back then! I don't know how people actually kept reading! Not that I'm complaining mind you. All those reviews are half of what keeps me going.**

**I legit feel bummed when I can't respond to anon reviews.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't sell a single copy. Being rated A would tend to do that.**

* * *

><p>"Indoctrinated presence detected! Activating Security Protocols!"<p>

_*Shit.*_

_(Fuck!)_

_)This is just not my day.( _I dropped into a combat stance, biotics flaring, eyes scanning for threats.

_*Hey Bourne, I know you aren't a fan of me doing it, but-* _

She took over, creating a barrier that surrounded our entire body. I was glad she did as several missiles hit it.

_)I'll let it slide this time. I'm even less of a fan of exploding.(_

_(Yeah, same here. Well, I guess it depends on how-)_

_)Iron!(_

The hologram flickered, apparently trying to decide what to do about me. It turned its attention to Raptor and the others. "You are not Prothean. But you are not machine either."

Unsurprisingly, the hologram now had two shotguns and a Sniper Rifle pointed at its main console.

"I'm giving you about twenty seconds to stop attacking our friend." Shepard said, clearly serious about following through.

"Raptor, don't." Hero said. The missiles had stopped, but she wasn't going to take chances. And honestly, I didn't want her to right at that moment. I'd been through enough without being blown up to go along with it.

"What?" Raptor looked back over her shoulder.

Hero walked towards them, keeping the shield up. "I think I might know why it attacked."

_(Well then miss-know- it- all, would you please enlighten us?)_

Another missile hit the shield.

"Indoctrinated Presence detected." The VI droned again.

"Iron was indoctrinated before I managed to break us out." Hero said, sounding calm despite the rockets. Which was actually pretty impressive.

_*I have to be calm Bourne. Freaking out on them like Iron dd might not be a good idea.*_

_(She has a point.)_ Another Rocket hit the shield.

_*Iron, stop talking. We've been attacked every time you've opened your big fat mouth.*_

_(I don't have a mouth in here, remember?)_ And on cue, another rocket.

_)If you don't… never mind. I just know what ever I threaten you with, it'll get some dumb response from you and make another rocket hit us.(_

_(Yep.) _And, another rocket.

The VI seemed to be processing. "You have several minds in one body?" It asked.

"Yes. One of them was indoctrinated, but because of memory loss, the effects are gone."

It again processed Hero's statements. "Can you prove this?"

Hero moved aside, and let me take back over. Which also dropped the shield, so _I really hope this thing doesn't shoot at us anymore._

_*If it does, I can take back over again very quickly.*_

_)I'm sorry, was that supposed to be reassuring?(_

"What sort of proof do you need?" It was pretty obvious from the voice that I had taken back over.

It answered almost immediately. "Scanning… new consciousness detected. Not indoctrinated. Other mind is also clean. That will do. This was not an anticipated scenario, but I have extrapolated based on other scenarios."

I blinked. _Ok, that went way over my head_ "Wait, what?"

"We had not considered that the next species might have such an adaptation such as multiple minds. I have run comparisons to other scenarios, and decided the best course of action."

I just stared at it.

_*If this thing wasn't a VI, I'd swear it was joking.*_

_)Yeah. I get the feeling that this condition wasn't too common for Protheans.(_

"So, does that mean you'll stop with the missiles?"

"Yes."

"And you're just going to take me at my word, no proof or anything?"

"We had anticipated that those who would come here might be insane. As a result, we prepared scenarios to deal with this. Modifying it to an entire species is not difficult."

I glanced at Shepard. She shrugged, seeming to say "Just go with it, it's a shorter explanation."

_(Well, that was easy.)_

I instantly put up a barrier around myself. I waited a few moments, then dropped it when it became clear the VI was going to keep its word.

_)This is really redundant, but you're insane(_

_(What, did you really expect me not to do that?)_

_*No.*_

_)You do realize that if you kill us, Wrex will blow your head off within five milliseconds?(_

_(Oh? Then how come he got stabbed back in that little scuffle and I didn't?)_

_)… Dude, you've lost what little sanity you had left. Remember? Tali threw her knife and-(_

_(That wasn't Wrex though, now was it? I'll just charge at him and-)_

_)You had the drop on him last time.(_

_(Excuses Excuses.)_

_*Hey Iron, you want to stop the Reapers to get revenge, right?*_

_(Duh.)_

_)Well, with that in mind, SHUT UP! The adults are trying to do something here!(_

I blocked him out.

"Ok, so, now that that's dealt with, which I don't fully understand-" Shepard said, shaking her head and lowering her gun. "What are you?"

I put a hand up. "Wait a minute, Tali, Wrex, are you understanding this thing?"

"I was just wondering about that myself." Wrex commented. "I'm hearing this thing alright. No idea what the hell it's talking about, but I'm hearing it."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Good. My head is still ringing from getting cured last time."

"It was your idea Bourne." Raptor reminded me.

"No, it was Hero's… Argh, never mind." I said, sensing an argument I wouldn't win, and that we didn't have time for.

_*Probably smart.*_

_)Don't rub it in.(_

"I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility. Though two of you can speak Prothean, I have translated myself to your language for your convenience."

_(Good. That's the least he can do after he sends a bunch of rockets at me.)_

_*You know, he sent them at all three of us.*_

_(I'm sorry, at what point in this conversation did you get the crazy idea I care about what happens to you two?)_

"My name is Vigil. You are safe here for the moment-" I had to refrain from making some comment about being blown up. This was more important. "But that is likely to change. Soon, nowhere will be safe."

"So, I'm guessing you're responsible for the force field back there?" Shepard said, glancing at me. I could figure the implications of that one without her having to say it.

_(Wait, what?)_

_*The fact that he ran into it?*_

_(Oh yeah… that was hilarious when his face hit the controls and then he had to pry it off.)_

_)I hate you. So, so much.(_

_(I hate you too.)_

"Yes. You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it, you must understand. You must not make the same mistakes we did."

_(What, like getting yourselves indoctrinated and turned into an entire slave race? Hahahahahaha!) _

I just ignored him, with a lot of effort.

_(What, too soon?)_

"The Citadel is the heart of your civilization, and the seat of government. As it was with us, and with countless civilizations before."

_(Not to mention that other thing. Or wait, was it actually real? There seems to be a lot of debate on-) _He was cut off midsentence.

_)Thanks.(_

_*Anytime.*_

"But the Station is actually a trap, an enormous Mass Relay. One that links to dark space, the empty void where the Reapers lay dormant. The moment the Citadel is activated, the Reapers will pour through."

"And then they'll wipe out all life as we know it. Just like they did with yours." I finished. I knew all this was important, but stopping Saren was more important. If any of this was necessary later, I could create some sort of cover story for how I knew it.

"Hold up Bourne, how can the Citadel be a Mass Relay? How could we not have noticed?" Tali asked.

"The Reapers carefully keep the secrets of the Citadel hidden. They created an entire race of apparently benign organic caretakers." Vigil answered

"Huh, I always thought there was something weird about those things." Wrex said. "They always seemed to look at me funny."

I had to bite my lip at that one.

"The Keepers maintain The Citadel's main functions, insuring those that use it do not fully comprehend the technology. They insure the secret remains until the citadel is activated and the Reapers invade."

"If the Reapers strike there, they can wipe out the Council and the entire Citadel fleet in a single surprise attack!" Raptor said, realizing the implications this would have.

_(Well, to be fair, it's the fleet that's really important. I mean, saving the council, hahahahahahahaha! That's ridiculous.)_

_)Yeah.(_

_(… Wait, you aren't thinking about saving them, are you? Because if you are, you're crazier than I am.)_

_*We can have this discussion later. It'll be a moot point if we waste so much time here that the Reapers arrive before we even get close to the Conduit!*_

_)Yeah, speaking of which…( _

"Does the Conduit have something to do with all this?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes, it does. But you first must understand exactly what you are dealing with. The Reapers were able to wipe out our people in just a few decades. The Citadel told them everything about us, all our classified data, star maps, everything. Knowledge is power, and they knew everything."

I clenched a fist, blue energy surrounding it. "You're talking to the person who knows better than anyone exactly what the Reapers are capable of doing. I get it. We don't stop them, then we all die. I plan on stopping them. So I'm only going to ask this once."

I flared my full Biotic field. "What. Is. The. Conduit?"

_(Is it really necessary to be that melodramatic when you already know exactly what the Conduit is?)_

_)You're talking to me about over-reacting? That's just… I don't even have the energy for this right now.(_

"The Conduit is the key to everything. Before the Reapers attacked, we Protheans were on the cusp of unlocking the secret behind Mass Relay technology. This facility houses a small scale version of a relay, linked directly to the Citadel. That is the Conduit."

"So, it's not a weapon, but a backdoor into the citadel." Tali said.

"No, it's not a weapon at all. It just happens to link to the place where they can unleash the ultimate weapons of all time." Wrex responded.

"Wrex, you have a unique gift for understatement." I said.

"So how does the Conduit relate to all this?" Raptor asked. "I can see how a way to the citadel is useful, but why does Saren need it? If the Reapers can just pour in, why don't they just do that this time?"

_(She's complaining about that?)_

_)Oh shut up.(_

_(You were thinking the same thing.)_

_)Yeah, but I wasn't going to say it. I'm trying to go the rest of the day without Raptor hitting me again.(_

_(There's a losing proposition.)_

_*Yeah, I think I have to agree with him on that one.*_

_)It could happen!(_

_(Yeah, when hell freezes over. And pigs fly. And when hamburgers sing the national anthem!)_

"The Keepers are the key. Before each invasion, a signal is sent through station, compelling the Keepers to activate the Citadel Relay."

"And you somehow figured out a way to block this signal?" I said, feeling the sands of time running out.

_(What about that damn reality-warping you seem to do? Have you forgotten about that?)_

_)Do you really want to take that chance?(_

_(Good point.)_

"Yes. Through the Conduit, our few surviving scientists managed to gain access to the Citadel to make the necessary modifications."

"So the signal wasn't sent?" Tali guessed.

"No. When Sovereign sent it, the keepers ignored it. The Reapers are trapped out in darkspace."

_(You know, that sentence is beginning to make this whole mission feel a bit pointless.)_

_)Ok, what are you rambling about now?(_

_(Well, even if you stop them today, they'll still come. All of us know that. So, what's really the point? I mean, even extending your life isn't much of an argument, because you might die along with Raptor. Why not just get revenge on Saren, then just forget about it?)_

_)Um, gee, I don't know. Maybe because we'd all fucking die?(_

_(At least you could die happy.)_

_*Saren may have been the one you're blaming, but the Reapers gave him the tech in the first place. They're the real master planners.*_

_(Yeah, but I'd have to wait too long to avenge how they've wronged me.)_

_)Hero, let me try. If you stop them today, there'll be a lot more people you can kill later on.(_

_(They'll wipe out all life there is. I think that tops anything I can do.)_

_)But wouldn't it be more fun to do it yourself than watch someone else do it?(_

_*Bourne, you talking like that is seriously worrying.*_

_)Do you want him to help us or not?(_

_(Ok, you have a point Bourne. I'll help you. For now.)_

I knew that was as good as I was going to get.

"Once Saren is onboard the Citadel, he can transfer control of the Station to Sovereign." The VI said as I refocused on the conversation. "Sovereign can then open the Citadel's systems and manually open the relay. And the Cycle of extinction will begin again."

"Not on my watch." Raptor said, clenching her fists. "How do we stop them?"

"There is a data file in my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control unit, upload it to the station. It will corrupt the security protocols and give you temporary control over the station. It might give you a chance against Sovereign."

"Wait, master control unit? I've been to the Citadel more times than I can count, and I've never heard of that." Wrex said.

"Through the conduit. Follow Saren. He will lead you there."

I activated my powers and sent the data file flying into my hands. "Good. The sooner I get my hands on that bastard so I can wring his neck, the better."

_(I was just thinking the same thing.)_

_*… You were?*_

_(Nah, I'm just kidding.)_

_)Geez, don't scare me like that.(_

_(I thought it would be more obvious. I mean, just wringing his neck? No, I want to throw him all over the place, and then warp him apart.)_

_ )Huh. You know, I might just have to take you up on that.(_

"Agreed." Raptor said. "Saren has enough of a head start. Let's head back to the Mako. And Bourne isn't driving this time."

"Oh, like you're so much better."

"Bourne, I outrank you right now, so I'm driving."

I glared, but I kept quiet. _Mostly because I have no come back for that one._

"The one you call Saren has not reached the conduit. Not yet. You still have a chance." Vigil said, before it flickered out of existence.

_We've got a lot more than a chance. Saren made one hell of a mistake. He pissed off the four people most dangerous to him._

_(Yeah, let's go kick his ass! And then kick his face! And then break his arms! And then… well, Bourne has a lot of knives, so we can get creative.)_

_)Tell you what. If you shut up on the way there, I'll let you just go apeshit on him.(_

_(Zipping lips.)_

_*You idiots realize how long of a drive it'll be?*_

That stopped us both.

_*And that we basically have to crash through the conduit to get there?*_

_(Yeah, but did you had to just kill the mood like that? I seriously feel depressed now.)_

_*Oh stop whining.*_

"Bourne! You coming or not?" Raptor yelled back at me. I suddenly was jolted into motion, running after her.

"Do I really have a choice?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah. You cannot complain about my driving this time, or you can stay here."

I pretended to think it over.

"And no, that isn't a choice. Just stop complaining."

"I'll stop complaining if you stop driving so badly."

She stopped, apparently trying to think of a response.

"I have an idea." Wrex said. "Have you humans ever heard of the quiet game?"

I just laughed the rest of the elevator ride. _Which probably means I've set a record for longest time laughing._

I sighed as we piled back into the Mako.

_(Look on the Brightside. Look how close we are to ending this now.)_

_)Didn't you just say that this was only the beginning, like all that crap about the Reapers not being stopped?)(_

_(I'm crazy. I say a lot of stuff. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)_

**Can I just thank you guys again for reading and supporting? I can't? Well I did it anyway.**

**I might be beating you over the head with it by this point, but please remember to vote in the poll on my profile. I'll listen to you guys if you vote, but right now it's so close that it wouldn't make sense to do it that way.**

**And honestly, there are parts of both stories that I can't wait to write. Of both. Which means unless you guys tell me what to do, I'm going to keep debating with myself until august, and I'd rather just use all that time to actually write.**

**So with that in mind, Sayonara.**


	76. The Begining of the End

**Ok, I'm starting to consider throwing out the poll entirely and just do the order I originally planned before I started overthinking it. It's now at 43-44, almost dead even. While I appreciate those of you that did vote, if it's settled by one vote, then there isn't much point in doing it. This is likely the third to last chapter, maybe fourth to last. Fifth last tops, counting an epilogue.**

**Or I might be completely wrong about that, but my point is that now is the time to get that last minute vote. Otherwise, if it's only a few votes different, I'm just going to decide myself. I hate to have to pull that card, but otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. **

**And besides, considering that it's about tied, I'm probably going to make half of you mad anyway. **

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, I might be better at making decisions.**

* * *

><p>Shepard cursed as she hit the jets and went over yet another rocket.<p>

"61." Bourne said.

"What?"

"That's the 61st rocket you've jumped over. I've been keeping track."

"Why?"

"Boredom. I'm apparently too low ranking to drive, can't shoot at stuff, and even if I was navigating, it wouldn't really be a real job. No offense Tali."

"None taken." She replied. "I sort of agree."

Shepard sent the Mako forward, running over one of the Geth with a rocket launcher. "So, to keep yourself busy, you're counting how many times-"

"I also know how many times you've flipped this thing upside down, total. Do you really want me to say that one too?"

"I don't know. Would you like to be strapped to the outside of this thing next time?"

He just chuckled.

Shepard shook her head, rounding a corner, ready for more Geth. She kept an eye out, but then she saw something a lot more impressive.

"Is that…?" Tali asked

"The conduit? Apparently. Little bigger than I was expecting." Bourne replied.

"If that's the conduit, then we need to get to it fast." Wrex said.

Bourne nodded. "Sovereign and the Geth are probably attacking the citadel by now."

Shepard had no doubt that they were doing just that. He sounded too sure.

"And I cannot believe I am saying this, but full speed ahead. Push this thing for every ounce of speed you can get."

"We have less than a minute until it closes." Tali agreed.

Shepard hit the gas, and the tank rumbled down the hill.

Bourne swore as he was shaken around. "Remind me why we use this thing?"

Geth fired at them on all sides, Wrex firing back.

"Ignore them, just get to that conduit." Bourne said. "A few Geth are nothing compared to-"

He stopped mid-sentence as the Conduit loomed over them. "This is starting to seem like a bad idea." He muttered.

"You got a better one?" Shepard shot back.

"Unfortunately, no."

Shepard hit the gas, driving into the Relay.

* * *

><p>I tried to keep a cool, calm composure as Shepard drove into the Conduit, but I probably looked more like I was going to throw up. It didn't help that one minute we were facing the conduit, then the next moment, we were facing the sky.<p>

_)This is going to hurt, isn't it?(_

_(Yep.)_

_*A lot.*_

_)You know, I know that you're the paragon Hero, and you hate my guts Iron, but would it have killed you to lie?(_

_*You'll live.*_

_(Maybe.)_

In mere moments, my view went from Illos' sky to a dark, red, and fiery presidium. Which happened to be upside down.

_(Told you this was going to hurt.)_

_I really hate it when he's right._

The Mako hit the ground, rolled over some Geth, and ended up completely upside down. I actually put up a barrier on instinct, and was glad I did.

I had never been so glad to have the restraints. Until I tried to remove them, and they got stuck. "God Damnit! This thing had better not be insured, because we are not, scratch that, never getting another one!"

"Issues Bourne?" Shepard managed to groan, unstrapping herself from the driver's seat. She wasn't so lucky to have Biotics, and I could see that her shields had actually been completely wiped out.

I activated my powers, still supplemented by Hero, and blasted my restraints apart. Which nearly earned me another hard hit to the head. Luckily, I was able to catch myself with my powers and slow it down so I wouldn't get hurt. I just looked like I was doing a head stand.

With some careful maneuvering, I got to my feet and stood up in the upside down Mako. "Everyone still alive?"

"Mostly." Wrex rumbled as he got to his feet.

"I may have thrown up inside my helmet." Tali said.

I turned my head to stare at her. "Wait, really?"

"No. I was joking."

"I think you've been spending too much time with Garrus." I muttered as I raised my hand, aiming at the side of the Mako. "Let's get out of this death trap."

I sent a burst of energy from my hand and warped open the wall of the Mako.

Inside my head, Hero seemed to almost swoon. _*Bourne, that thing was armored you know.*_

_)Isn't that what warp was mean for?(_

_*My powers aren't endless, and neither are yours. I don't know how much more I can do. My specialty was power, not longetivity.*_

_(Yes, and as much as I hate to admit it, I don't know how much I can do either.)_

_) That's a turn around. How long did it take to make you realize you aren't a god? (_

_(Oh shut up. It's not nice to make fun of crazy people. And you're missing the point. Yeah, if I power you up, we can tear through every Geth between here and there, but then Saren will have the upper hand. I don't plan on letting that happen.)_

_)Yeah, well, revenge won't work so well if we die on the way there.(_

A few husks suddenly came around the corner, proving my point.

Shepard nailed one with a headshot, Wrex threw another against a wall, and I threw a knife into the last ones' skull.

_*Ok, I don't think I can last much longer.*_

_(Is that how you got Thane to-)_

_*Iron, don't you dare finish that sentence.*_

_)Oh, let him live. For now. We still have a lot of fighting to do. And after a freakin elevator ride too! Wait…(_

"Give me a rundown of casualties." I heard Shepard saying to Avina.

_)If we avoid the elevator, we can get to top way faster, avoid the Geth, and maybe even surprise Saren.(_

_(Hmm, maybe.)_

_*It seems like a good idea, but then again… well, most of your battlefield experience comes from video games*_

_)… Uh, duh! Hello?(_

_*You know what I mean.*_

_)Yeah, I do. I also know that it's usually a good idea to avoid unnecessary fighting.(_

_(I don't know about that, but he has a point. I'd rather save my rage for Saren. Man, the things I plan to do to him… they'll make Mortal Kombat fatalities seem tame!)_

_)Except for Vs. Dc universe. Those were just weak.(_

_*Stay focused here.*_

_(Yeah, the last thing I need is for you to start yelling "Get over here" at Saren every five minutes.)_

_)Touché… What about Haduken?(_

_*Bourne!*_

_)Sorry.(_

"Saren's in the council's Chambers." I said, turning to the others. "We need to get up there fast."

"Way to point out the obvious." Raptor said, gesturing to the VI. _Oh, she just said that._

"I was distracted by the voices in my head, ok? Iron is really, really pissed at Saren. And for once, we agree."

"Again, really worrying when you say it like that. Come on. We can take the elevator up to the top."

I got in-between her and it. "Bad idea." I said, shaking my head. "With the Citadel literally at Saren's fingertips, it would be easy to just shut it down. We aren't getting to the top in that thing."

"What makes you so sure?" Wrex asked.

"Saren's not an idiot. Well, he's not a complete idiot anyway. Do you really think he's just going to let us ride up to the top so we can get a free shot at him when he's this close to finishing the job?"

"Good point." Raptor said.

"If I were him, I'd have all sorts of Geth waiting for us in there for after he stops the elevator." I chuckled. "Besides, haven't you ever heard that you shouldn't use the elevators if a place is on fire?"

She sighed. "So, how do we get up there then?"

I smiled. "You up for a little grand theft auto?"

She just stared at me blankly.

I sighed. "Tali hacks a shuttle or aircar and we take that up to the top."

"Why didn't you just say that then?"

"Because… Hell, I don't know. So how about we just get up there and kick some ass?"

"Now you're talking." Wrex said.

"Tali?"

She activated her Omni-tool. "Give me a minute. There's a car not too far from here that's still working."

"Just make it fast." I looked up at the top of the tower.

_I'm coming for you Saren._

_(Dude, I have to say, I did not think you'd swing that way.)_

_)Gross.(_

_(Like you wouldn't make that joke if Raptor had said it.)_

_)I'm trying to go without her punching me, remember?(_

_(But if you weren't, you'd totally say it.)_

_)… This conversation is purely academic.(_

_*I cannot believe the fate of Galaxy rests on you two.*_

_(Believe me, neither can I.)_

_)Well, someone's got to save it. This place need a savior.(_

_*I agree. And she happens to be standing right behind you with the glowing purple eyes and the sniper rifle.*_

_)Doesn't mean I can't help.(_

"Got it." Tali said.

"Then let's get up there." Raptor said. "We have a date with Saren." She stopped, realizing what she just said. "Bourne, don't even say anything."

I decided that the best response was to do just that.

* * *

><p>"I have to say Shepard, I'm surprised."<p>

"Surprised about what Bourne?"

"We haven't crashed into something yet."

Shepard shot him a very dirty look, then turned her eyes back ahead. She wasn't going to prove him right. "At least we'll get there faster."

"That we will. And I plan on using that extra time to… well you can probably guess."

"Make more stupid jokes and generally annoy me?"

"That too." He said with a chuckle.

"Huh, I was expecting heavier resistance. Seems like a pretty stupid idea to leave an opening like this. Wrex muttered.

A rocket suddenly flew by, narrowly missing the aircar.

Bourne sighed. "It's never simple, is it?"

"Hang on! We're almost there!" Shepard said, speeding up.

Bourne opened his door, leaning out the side. "So much for avoiding the Geth" He muttered, unslinging his ranged rifle. He opened fire, but with one arm hanging onto his seat to keep him from falling, he wasn't a very good shot.

Wrex leaned out the other side, but his luck wasn't much better. It was good enough to keep them busy though, and Shepard kept on course for the Council Chambers.

"Wait, how are we supposed to get in?" Tali suddenly asked. "The chamber is sealed!"

Shepard swore, realizing the Quarian was right. There was no entrance.

Bourne's body glowed blue. "Then we make a way in." He dropped his gun, grabbing a rocket that was heading for them with his powers.

He turned and flung it ahead of the aircar, denting the wall. "Crap, I was hoping that would be a bigger explosion." He muttered.

* * *

><p><em>Well, that didn't work. And l lost a gun on top of it!<em>

_(Did you really think one rocket would break through armor?)_

_)I was hoping. But if nothing else, it weakened it. Hero-(_

_*I've got enough power left for one good warp. Make it count.*_

Blue power flowed around me, and I launched the largest warp field I could. It launched ahead of us, breaking into the tower. Shepard aimed the aircar towards it.

It barely fit through, scraping off a lot of metal, and damaging one of the engines. Which meant the air car started to lack the "Air" part.

_Does gravity just hate me today?_

"Wrex, little help here!"

We both activated our powers, managing to slow the falling car down. But it still crashed hard, rolling across the floor and throwing those inside all over the place.

It slid to a stop, throwing Shepard and I out the side window. She managed to duck and roll, barely taking down her shields.

I was thrown into the fountain, and landed hard. _Ooowwwwwww!_

_(Oh stop whining. You aren't dead yet.)_

_)Screw you.(_

I groaned as I got to my feet. "Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again."

Wrex and Tali climbed out of the aircar.

"That settles it. Next time I'm driving." Wrex said.

"That would probably be for the best." Tali agreed.

I climbed out of the fountain. "Only if I get the guns then."

A few Geth suddenly appeared at the foot of the stairs. Wrex threw one of them into another, letting the rest of us take cover behind the crashed vehicle.

Raptor grit her teeth. "So much for the element of surprise."

"Saren already knew we were on the way." I said, readying my shotgun. "Now, we finish what we started."

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Wrex said, readying his own gun.

"Tali, you and Wrex watch my back. Shepard, start getting headshots."

"While you do what?" Raptor asked.

"Finish Saren."

She grabbed me as I turned to go. "Bourne, we're in this together. If you just go out there without a plan, you're going to get killed."

"Maybe that's what it will take."

"Not on my watch. We finish like we started it. As a team."

I opened my mouth to argue, but deep down, I knew she was right. I nodded. "Alright. As a team."

"Go in heavy, I'll be right behind you. Tali, Wrex, keep them off us."

"How is that any different from what I just… Works for me."

_*You have to stop him. But I'm spent. You're on your own.*_

_) It's ok Hero, you've earned a rest. Iron, you're up. (_

_(About damn time.)_

I felt the surge that Hero had given me subside, replaced by Iron's raw powers. While Hero's boost complemented mine and the transition was almost seamless, Iron's was chaotic, and the red tendrils of energy clearly stood out among my blue powers.

I raised my shotgun and sprinted around the aircar at the Geth. The distance was covered in a split second as I charged into them, pulverizing one and sending another two into the air. I raised my gun, blowing one's head off.

Another's seemed to spontaneously combust as Raptor moved up behind me. "Push forward!"

I smiled and charged forward again, punching a Geth's head clean off. Still accelerated by the move, I turned and shot another in the gut. Its friend raised aimed its own weapon at me and got the butt of my gun for its trouble.

_(Bah, these are mere distractions! Saren is our real enemy!)_

A shot from Raptor suddenly took down one that had snuck up on me.

_)You were saying?(_

_(These are only the Serpent's body! Time to cut off the head.)_

Wrex and Tali advanced as well, their shotguns clearing a wide path.

"Killing these Geth mean nothing if we don't stop Saren." Tali shouted.

"We'll keep them busy. You two get up there and kill him." Wrex said as threw a Geth against a wall.

Shepard hesitated, but nodded. "Stay safe."

"We can handle this. Now go!" Wrex shouted.

_Man, this just seems like a bad idea._

Hero spoke up, still sounding weak. _*Why? Wrex is pretty dam tough.*_

_)I know. But if something happens to Tali now, I just know Garrus will blame me.(_

_*Then get the job done before it happens.*_

I turned towards where Saren was. _Oh, I will. It's time to finish this._

I pushed off from the ground like a sprinter, propelling myself forward into another group of Geth. Raptor actually sniped one that was in the air. _Showoff._

They didn't stand a chance, but they just kept coming. I warped them, I threw them, I charged into them and opened fire, Shepard sniped through two at a time, but no end seemed in site.

The Geth suddenly seemed to withdraw. They stopped dropping from the ceiling, and those that were still alive retreated.

I stopped, watching them go.

_(Why aren't you killing them?)_

_)Wouldn't you rather save it for Saren?(_

_(Perhaps.)_

_)I'm waiting to see what they do. This might just be a trap.(_

Tali approached cautiously, Wrex watching behind them.

I killed the powers. Tali was bound to recognize the red tendrils of energy if she saw them.

"Where'd they go?" Tali asked.

"Don't know. Looks like Saren got scared and decided not to show up." Wrex said.

I shook my head. "Don't let your guard down. This is probably just some sort of-" I trailed off as Saren's floating platform rose from the lower level. And I could clearly see a Grenade in his hands. "Trap."

I threw a trio of knives on instinct, aiming for his hands. He dropped the grenade to stop them with his own Biotics, and it fell to the floor below. The explosion shattered the glass.

I let a grim smile appear on my face.

His own face broke out into what could only be a look of pure hatred. Then I took a closer look, and the smile faded from my face.

The side of Saren's face was horrible disfigured. One eye glowed a burning red. Dull gold metal covered it, replacing the mandible Shepard had shot off. The whole thing had a quality that just screamed evil. It was far worse than what would be done to Garrus' face.

_(Yeah, I get it. It looks like he was beaten with the ugly stick.)_

_)Stick? Looks like he was hit with the whole damn tree!(_

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't make it." Saren said, somehow confident, despite being outnumbered.

I pointed a thumb over my shoulder. "Traffic sucked."

He glanced at the wreckage of our vehicle. "Trying to joke even in death. I will admit some admiration for that, if only barely. But it changes nothing. You've lost, you know that, don't you?" His arm suddenly shot forward, throwing another grenade that I wasn't fast enough to catch.

Raptor and I scattered, managing to get behind the pillars at the end of the walkway. Wrex and Tali weren't so fast, and were knocked to the ground.

"Sovereign has almost gained control of the station. Soon, it will open the Relay, and the Reapers will return."

"I got news for you Saren. That isn't going to happen." I said, standing back up.

_*What are you doing? I recognize that you aren't a military genius, but it's usually a good idea to stay behind cover.*_

_)I'm through hiding from this. Saren and Reapers have made this personal.(_

_(Enough talk. Blast him!)_

He manifested his biotic cornea, along with mine. It was a good thing as Saren threw another grenade. I just raised my arm and sent it back at him. He managed to deflect it to the floor below, but he actually looked a bit shocked.

"What's the matter Saren, surprised? Bit stupid of you, not expecting a weapon to be dangerous."

"You may have survived our encounter on Virmire Bourne, but not this time. I've been upgraded. Improved."

I tapped the side of my face. "You looked in a mirror lately? I wouldn't exactly call it an improvement. And it sure as hell isn't going to change anything. I'm going to kill you, so you might as well start making peace with whatever devil you believe in."

_(Bourne, what are you doing? Just destroy him!)_

_)I will.(_

"You don't understand Bourne. There is a place for organics in the new order. The Reapers need men and women of action. Shepard, you could have a place with them. It's clear where Bourne stands, but people like us are of value to it."

"Is that what you think, or is it what Sovereign told you?" She shouted back.

"It's one and the same now." I said, closing my hands into fists. I hated to agree with Iron, but I was losing patience as well. "He's been indoctrinated. He just can't see it."

_(Bourne, I realize you're actually burdened with sanity, but why is Saren not dead yet?)_

_) It's called plausible deniability. I'll offer him some BS chance to surrender, he won't take it, then I kill him. That way, Raptor won't be all "you didn't have to kill him" or whatever.(_

_(Hmm, Devious. But it's taking too long.)_

_)We can do it my way and kill him slowly, or I'll get tired of listening to you and just do it quickly.(_

_(I don't care right now as long as I get to kill him!)_

"You're wrong. Sovereign needs me."

"I imagine it said something similar about me. Look how quickly I became expendable." I shot back. "I'm giving you one chance to end this madness."

"You can't stop the Reapers. You will die Bourne. As will your companions and everyone you care about. You will all die."

I averted my gaze. "I'm not such a fool as you think. I know people will die. I know there will be casualties."

_)Iron, on my signal, I want to hit him with everything you have left.(_

_(What, you don't want to ask him about his feelings now? Alright, when you give the word I'll kill him.)_

"Yes, you begin to see the light again." Saren said.

"I wasn't finished talking." I flared my Biotics, Iron's red standing out even more as he charged his strength.

" They'll be a lot of people dead," I drew back my fist, "and you're one of them!" , and shot it forward at him.

_)NOW(_

I wasn't even trying to think of a specific ability this time. I just wanted him dead, and this over.

When I told Iron to use everything he had, he took me at face value. An orb of pure red Energy shot from my hand, striking Saren square in the chest. For a moment, he stood there, looking at the gaping hole in his chest. Then, he fell, landing on the end of the platform.

I hadn't expected to feel joy in his death, I was smarter than that by now. But nor was I expecting this sudden weight on my shoulders. "Good riddance." I said to the corpse.

Shepard nodded. "Agreed. Let's see if we get control of the station back."

Hero's voice spoke up, still weak. _*Wait, something's wrong. When I killed him, he fell to the platform below. But this time, he landed up here.*_

Shepard must have noticed some sign of alarm from me. "Bourne, what is it?"

_)You're right. But, it's not all that big. Maybe-(_

_*No. He had to fall down there to be possessed by sovereign. This feels wrong.*_

My blood chilled as a cruel laugh came from the corpse.

_*No. It can't be.*_

Red fire blossomed around the corpse as it stood. The hole in its chest seemed inconsequential as fire burned away flesh, leaving glowing red cybernetics. The bronzw plates on the face melted horribly. The flesh on the other side cracked, grotesque lines of the same metal appearing in the flesh.

It slowly began clapping. "Well done Bourne, Saren is utterly gone. His mind lasted only moments."

Throughout it all, that evil looking metal eye had been staring at me. Now, the other eye matched it.. The voice was a deep, raspy, haunting sound.

_*Bourne, what have you done?*_

"Don't look so shocked Bourne. You said to hit him with everything I had. I did." Iron parted his mandibles in a cruel grimace. "Now, I believe we have some unfinished business."

He flared his Biotics, red as blood. "So, who's first to die?"

* * *

><p><strong>I almost can't believe I'm leaving a cliff hanger like this. What sort of heartless monster am I?<strong>

**I guess we can answer that next chapter. **

**And maybe this isn't the best time to ask this, but once you stop fuming over my evilness…**

**If you like Stuck in a World of Fiction, you might want to check out a new story by darkarbitor1 called "Hell Yeah Halo." It's a Halo self-insert, and the guy seems to have the same sense of humor I do. He asked me to do a plug, and I think it's got some promise. **

**So until next time, happy memorial day. Unless you don't have that where you're from. In which case, good luck. You'll need it on a Monday.**


	77. Die!

**I'd like to once again thank my beta-reader ConvictionSC. I would have just published this chapter as it was, but she caught a few things I didn't, so hopefully it's better now. **

**No into needed. Except that I thought I'd be done sooner, or I wouldn't have left such a bad cliffhanger last time.**

**Nah, who am I kidding? Of course I would have.**

* * *

><p>I stared at him for a heartbeat, but my body was already moving on instinct.<p>

My knife practically bounced off the swirling energy surrounding him. It fell to the glass floor below.

Iron just sighed. "You know, for once I was hoping you wouldn't fight back so I could get this over with. But if you insist" He didn't even move, but an orb of Red Energy slammed into the ground between Shepard and I, throwing us back.

Landing at the foot of the stairs, I was stunned. Iron calmly walked down the stairs, the was suddenly next to me. He crouched, leaning over me and gloating.

"I have to say Bourne, I didn't think you'd actually be dumb enough to fall for all this."

Wrex rat at Iron, who just lifted him into the air. "Him, I'm not so surprised about." He watched Wrex float high in the air, then dropped him. I heard a loud crash as he landed. I would have winced if I didn't have bigger issues at the moment.

I could dimly see Shepard and Tali getting back up. _Have to keep him talking._

I tried to get back up, but he planted a foot on my chest. With his Biotics, it felt like it weighed an extra hundred pounds.

"No, no, no, Bourne. I can't have you doing that."

I struggled, but it felt like a krogan was sitting on my chest "How in the hell did you even manage this? I thought that the tech you used to transfer minds was destroyed the first time."

He laughed, that insane noise making me want to cover my ears. "Yes, that's what I told Hero. And apparently it worked. You see Bourne, When I realized I had this ability, I started making plans. But with you two guard dogs watching me, I knew I wouldn't be able to escape. But by making it seem a one-time thing, you idiots let you guards down."

"So you've been able to do this all this time?"

"Bourne, pay attention please. Yes, of course I could. And as for that "Technology", I made it up. I just can do it on some magic ability. Or that pesky thing in regards to how we got here. You know what I mean."

I could see the other two slowly sneaking up on him, guns at the ready. But he still seemed focused on me.

"Then why didn't you do this earlier? You could have taken over someone at any time. You could have done it when I snuck off the ship yesterday."

"Yes, but what would I have been able to do then? You see, I actually used to think the Reapers could be stopped. But then, I pieced together things from you and Hero. I saw where I'd been wrong before. Stopping the Reapers is Futile. I'd still die. So I started looking for… alternatives."

My eyes widened slightly before I brought my poker face out.

"You see, I realized where Saren's error was. He was as mortal as all of you. But myself, a living god, how can the Reapers ignore me?"

_You have got to be fucking kidding me. _Then I realized I said that out loud.

Iron's face twisted in anger, and he lifted his foot, bringing it back down hard. I had all the wind knocked out of me, and I struggled to breath.

"Oh, I'm very serious Bourne. Deadly serious in fact. I'm going to kill you, then your friends. Then, I'm going to join the Reapers. They'll welcome me back with open arms."

"You think they'll let you join after all you've done?" I managed to gasp.

"Think about it. I can transfer bodies at will. So in every new cycle, I can possess whoever they want. They won't have to indoctrinate people, they can just send me in. And who can match me for sheer killing power?"

At that one, I just had to stare at him. "Dude. They're literally giant squid robots. They have heat rays, and can take over people's minds. I don't care how good a Biotic you think you are, they have you beat by a long shot."

He laughed. "Ah, still so naïve. We have more power than any of them, and yet you don't use it."

He grabbed me by the throat and lifted me into the air. The room began to grow dark as he cut off my oxygen. "I've always heard that drowning is the worst way to go. Since we don't have a lot of water here, I guess choking you to death will have to do." He tightened his grip.

I felt myself slipping away. _Come on, there must be some way out of this!_

In some distant corner of my mind, his hand felt unnatural. As the black walls closed in, it hit me. Maybe it was some forgotten combat training, maybe it was reality's warping, but either way, I realized what I had to do.

I threw a knife at his head, and he removed a hand to deflect it.

Taking advantaged of the distraction, I pried his hand off my neck, the three fingers yielding more easily than a five fingered hand. I punched him in the stomach as I got my wind back.

He growled, punching blindly. It hit me in the face, but it felt like a fly landing compared to Raptor. I drew back my own fist, crackling with energy, and hit him square in the face.

He stumbled back, clawing at his face.

"I think you're forgetting something. You've got plenty of experience killing in a human body, but Saren's a Turian." I said, delivering a spinning kick to his torso.  
>"And thanks to Garrus, I've got some experience fighting one of those." I went for an eye jab, bouncing off his robotic eye, but driving my finger into his still organic eye.<p>

Iron stumbled back, blinded.

"And you forgot something else too. I said next time you got out, I was going to kill you. And I'm a man of my word."

I drew my shoulder knife, moving in for the kill. He stomped a foot on the ground, creating a shockwave that knocked me back. I threw the knife in midfall, and he just barely dodged it.

"And you forgot who you are dealing with Bourne." He activated Saren's omni-tool, and the hovering platform swept down and scooped him from the ground.

He looked down at me, and I had to resist the urge to waste a knife.

"Ok, I have to give Saren credit. This is pretty cool. I'm like the Green Goblin or something with this thing." Iron yelled down. "Check it out! I even have grenades!" He pulled one from Saren's belt, and readied it to be thrown.

Then it exploded in his hand. I looked over to see Shepard shifting her aim and firing again. This time, her expert shot hit the platform, damaging it and causing it to fall.

"Damn you're a good shot." I muttered.

"I'm going to assume you didn't know this would happen?"

I just glared at her, and fought back more strongly worded comeback. "What do you think? You can yell at me for being an idiot after we stop him."

"Any ideas?"

"DIE!" Iron shouted as he jumped from the platform, charging into our midst and slamming a fist on the ground.

The shockwave sent Tali flying, Shepard was thrown back, and I was knocked off my feet.

He rammed into me, slamming a fist into my chest, and making it hard to breath.

I activated a singularity behind him, pulling him away as he tried to go for a killing blow.

I stood there, trying to get my breath back. "You know, you're a lot tougher than Saren was, I have to give you that."

His maniacal laugher filled my ears. "On that, we can agree. Easiest fight of my life. But we both know he's just the pawn. It's the Reapers that are the real Kings. Or, then again, they're a lot more powerful, so maybe they're like the queens. Or would Saren be a knight or Bishop? I can't see him a as rook though."

I grit my teeth, but kept him where he was. At close range, his Biotics would put him even with my knives. From here though, he was defenseless.

_*Don't under estimate him.*_

_)Are you ok?(_

_*I think so. Iron's leaving, it's more complete this time. Like he planned it more. It's done something to me, weakened me somehow.*_

I digested this for a moment. Hero could tell what I was thinking.

_*He needs to be killed. Don't worry about me.*_

_)No offense, but I wasn't going to let him back in either way. But maybe he knows something about-(_

_*No. He'd only lie to you.*_

"Well? What are you waiting for? Finish me!" Iron shouted at me.

"Oh shut up."

"Are you scared? Are you weak?"

"If I were weak, you wouldn't be in such a position."

"I am infinitely better than you. I'm smarter, a better fighter-"

"More modest, clearly. And yet there you sit."

He started screaming at me, and I couldn't even tell if there were real words, or if it was just a primal expression of rage. The anger he felt at me was pretty clear, but not much else.

"Is there a reason you haven't killed him Bourne?" Wrex asked as he limped over, still healing from his fall.

"Well, considering he has a giant gaping hole in his chest, and the fact that he appears to be mostly cybernetics now – Well, how do you kill something like that?"

"You could always shoot him in the head."

"Hold him still for about two seconds, and that can be arranged." Raptor said, walking over.

"Be my guest." I said. _Might as well. Easier than anything I can think of._

"Well, look who finally remembered his balls." Iron said, maniacal laughter filling the air. "And here I thought Ashley was just a-"

I put him in stasis, shutting him up. I set him down on the ground, immobile, and canceled the singularity.

"Know what? I changed my mind. I'd rather borrow one of your grenades and stuff it down his throat." I said, gritting my teeth, forcing my temper down. If I lost control and attacked him, he would be able to easily overpower me at close range.

The stasis field suddenly exploded outward, Iron slamming into me at speed and knocking me back several feet.

_Or that could happen._

"Predictable as always Bourne. So easily manipulated. All I have to do is start talking, and you try to shut me up. Or did you forget that a skilled enough Biotic can escape from that? You rely on Hero's weak abilities. Oh, I'll admit, they're beyond my skills. But then again, my skills are actually lethal."

I threw a knife at him, but he simply dashed a few feet away.

He shook his head. "Are you ever not going to fall for that? I can move at practically mach 2. How do you expect to hit-"

His words were cut off as Shepard sent a bullet through his neck. "Too bad you can't out run those." She said as she reaimed. I had to admire the way she didn't even react to the fact that he was still standing despite what should have been a lethal shot.

He smiled evilly. "You don't get it. None of you get it. I've seen it! I've seen the Reaper's true power! They can't be stopped!"

I felt my bile rise as his words hit me. If I was right, either his indoctrination had returned somehow, or he was infected because he was in Saren's body.

_*Or both.*_

_) That's a pleasant thought. Any tips?(_

_*I'm an adapt, he's a vanguard. I have no idea*_

"And I won't let you stop them!" His biotics flared, and I rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding his charge.

"Who says I'm giving you a choice?" I clapped, sending a ball of energy that threw him back. He charged at me the second he landed.

I put up a barrier, canceling out his concussive force. He was knocked back a bit, as was I. I sent a knife into each hand, slashing at him. He grabbed my arms, pulling his head back for a headbutt.

I flicked my wrists, sending the knives flying at his head. He ducked, and I managed to kick him in the stomach. It didn't do a lot of damage, but it surprised him. I wrenched my arms free, and brought them down on his head, pushing him to his knees.

I capitalized on this and kicked him in the face. My metal boot bounced off his metal face. He just looked up at me, evil grin on his face. So I tried it again with the Biotics. _That was more effective. _

He lay there in the fetal position, holding his face. I didn't buy it for a second.

I aimed my shotgun at his head and pulled the trigger, twice.

He rolled to the side, then drew his own pistol and fired at me. It bounced off my barrier, and I yanked the gun from his hand, crushing it with my powers.

But it gave him time to get back to his feet, and I saw him preparing to charge. I threw a stasis field at him, but it only flew through empty space. I put up a strong barrier, expecting his attack at any moment.

"Over here Bourne."

I turned, dropping my shotgun, Biotics flaring, three knives in each hand.

"Put them away, unless you want this annoying little bitch dead." He said, holding Tali's head in both hands. "One twist, that's all it would take."

_Fuck. Fuck my life._ I forced my face to its blank state. "The second you do, I'll fill you with so many knives, it'll make-"

"Don't make threats you aren't willing to back up. We both know you aren't going to just let her die." _Oh, of course he does. Figures._

I grit my teeth, but I slid the knives back onto my arms. Raptor aimed her sniper rifle at his head, but he wrenched it out of her grasp. Pure hatred painted her face, but then she was thrown to the ground by a shockwave from Iron. Tali struggled, one hand focused on Shepard, but Iron quickly reined her back in. He turned her around, and kneed her in the stomach.

He let go of her as she doubled over, focusing his attention on Wrex. The Krogan ran at him, only to be lifted into the air again. Iron grabbed Tali again as Wrex fell.

"Nice try. Lose all of it, guns, knives, grenades, everything.. And if I see even a hint of Biotics, I'll snap her neck like a twig."

I had a thought, but I didn't know if I could actually bring myself to do it. _Come on Bourne, do what you have to do._

_*Don't. Iron would call your bluff in a heartbeat. You may not think yourself as good hearted as me or Raptor, but you're still better than him.*_

I didn't reply. I hated myself for it, but it was my best chance. Maybe my only chance.

"I said to lose the weapons Bourne."

I smiled as evilly as I could. "Iron, you of all people should know: Hostages only work when your enemy cares if they live. There are a lot bigger things at stake here."

He actually looked confused for a moment. "You're bluffing."

"Really? I am? What makes you so sure? Really, all that killing her would do is set you up for a perfect death. Hell, she could've died about 20 times just getting here."

"You're bluffing Bourne. Don't pretend I can't see that. You don't want me to kill her, or you wouldn't have listened to my demands."

"You're right on one part. I'd rather not have you kill her. But if you do, oh well. Casualty of war and all that."

_*Bourne, this is not a good path. It can only get worse from here. There's still time to-*_

_)You think I'm liking saying this Hero? Iron is insane, and at the moment, he has the advantage. If I can get him to let Tali go, then-(_

_*Then she'll trust you even less. You might be able to tell her that it was just an act, and she might even believe you. But they'll be some part of her that will keep her from ever trusting you again. And she still has an important role to play.*_

_)If you have a better idea, I'm listening.(_

_*I'm trying to think. Stall him.*_

_)If I try stalling him, he'll just lose patience and kill her. Besides, we don't have much time until… wait, that's why he hasn't just killed us. He's trying to stall us so Sovereign can take over the station before we can upload the program the VI gave us!(_

_*I'm not sure he's sane enough to come up with an actual plan like that.*_

_)He kept us both in the dark about this, didn't he? Maybe it is just a byproduct, but either way…(_

_*Bourne, let me ask you something. Have you ever considered that there might be a reason that you were chosen to come here?*_

_)You mean because Saren thought I would bend to his will out of fear?(_

_*I mean that it was you. Just an ordinary guy, instead of another alternate version of me.*_

_)What do you mean?(_

_*Reality takes so many twists and turns, why couldn't there be a version just like you? And yet, it was you. Not Shepard, but you. I don't know why, but can't there be a reason?*_

"Hmmm, convincing Bourne, but I know you far too well to believe it. You're just stalling for time, hoping for some miracle. I used to do that too, when I lived on the streets, abandoned and without a family. Then I grew up and realized that there was no such thing as miracles."

I crossed my arms. "A so-called god that doesn't believe in miracles? That seems a bit of a contradiction."

"A god does not create miracles! I will what I want into existence itself!"

"Oh? Then why haven't you won yet?"

He hesitated. "I have simply been drawing this out, waiting for the right moment to kill all of you."

I smiled darkly. "Perhaps in a way, we are gods Iron. We're still puppets to the whim of fate, but we're to see the strings, even tug back. But the puppeteer ensures that it will never be you that kills any of us."

He snarled, and threw Tali to the ground. "Maybe so Bourne. Maybe they have that protection, but you don't!"

He charged at me, and I put up a barrier on instinct. I was still thrown back several feet, landing hard on the ground. "Are you such a coward that you can't attack back? That all you can do is defend?" He came at me again. I threw a warp field at him, lessening the field surrounding him. He still hit hard though.

"By the way, thanks for the reminder about being in a Turian's body." He said, lifting me into the air with his powers. He forced my hands behind my back, and my knees to curl behind me. I was almost completely immobile. "Now I remember that I have claws!" He raked his hand across my right cheek, causing a scream to burst from my throat.

"Oh, so you can be hurt. Here, let me even it up." He stabbed my cheek with a single claw, moving up towards my eye. I struggled as he came ever closer to blinding me.

His palm suddenly exploded outward. He yanked his hand free, claw flashing before my eye.

"Next shot goes right between your eyes." I heard Raptor saying. I raised a hand to my eye, now unable to see out of it. I felt a sense of panic, unable to tell if the lack of vision was because of the blood flowing across it, or… I forced the thought down. _Have to finish him first._

Iron growled, raising his hand, crackling with red energy. I grabbed his hand, forcing it up, and causing his blast to miss her. She dived to the ground as it went just above where her head had been.

"This is between you and me Iron."

"I know. It's not personal with them, I just like killing, remember?" He backhanded me, my cut up face adding even more pain.

"Now your girlfriend on the other hand, her I'm going to slowly kill. Because of you, it is personal with her."

That sentence galvanized me into action, pain forgotten. The pain I felt now was nothing compared to what I'd feel if Ashley died because of me.

He raised his hand again, and time seemed to slow down as Adrenaline flooded my veins. My shoulder blade, discarded on the floor, flew back into my hand. As Iron brought his arm down, I severed his hand at the wrist. He stopped, starring at the sparking stump of his arm.

"Iron, you just made two really big mistakes."

I stabbed the knife into his cybernetic eye, and he stumbled back, truly blinded.

"First off, you just threatened the woman I love."

I lifted him into the air, then slammed him hard into the ground. "Secondly, you forgot something when you got into Saren's body. The person in that body is fated to die today." I retrieved my shotgun, ready to end this.

_*If I can make a suggestion-*_

_)I'm killing him, no matter what you say. He's done too much to-(_

_*I agree on that one. I mean on how to do it.*_

_)I was just going to shoot him in the head.(_

_*Even better.*_

She told me, and I had to fight a laugh at the irony. I slid the gun back onto my waist, lifting him into the air.

"Any last words Iron?"

"So, you actually have the guts to kill me, just outright like this. Have you considered that I'm the only reason you're able to charge?"

I shook my head. "Handy ability I'll admit, but not handy enough to keep putting up with you." A thought came to me. "And I'd bet I can figure it out, without you blocking me from doing so."

"So? This time, my new host had Biotics. Your body might still house my separate set of implants, but not my extra power. You will never be as lethal as you could be with me."

"I can live with that. You'll find that when they're used in the right way-" I plunged my hand into the hole in his chest. "A singularity can be just as deadly."

Fear shot across his features as he felt his body collapsing in on itself, the mass of dark matter in his chest destroying him.

"After all, it's basically a miniature black hole."

I threw him up the stairs, to where Saren had lain dead. Iron convulsed horribly, circuits being crushed by each other. After a few moments, he finally lay still.

"And this time, _stay_ dead."

* * *

><p>Raptor picked up her Sniper Rifle, checking it for damage. If Bourne hadn't already killed Iron, she'd want to put a bullet in his head herself. <em>Nobody touches my Sniper Rifle. Nobody!<em>

She stored it on her back, walking over to Bourne. His face was covered in his own blood, but he hardly seemed to notice.

"Well, that went well." Wrex said as he got to his feet, blood still dripping from a few spots.

"You all ok?" Bourne said, gaze still focused on where Iron had landed. Shepard couldn't tell what he felt. He could have been looking at him in pity, could have been regarding him with pure contempt, maybe even watching to make sure Iron really was dead.

"I think so." Tali said, getting back to her feet.

Bourne stiffened at her voice, but he didn't say anything.

"I'm fine Bourne, but I don't know that I can say the same about you." Shepard said, getting out some medi-gel.

Bourne held still as she applied the healing substance.

"I'm no doctor, but it looks like at least some of these are going to scar pretty badly."

He didn't reply, still focused on Iron.

"Will you look at me for five seconds?" She admonished.

He turned his head, and she wiped the blood away from his eye. His glowing blue iris stared back.

She let out a sigh of relief.

"Worried about your XO?" He asked, a small smile on his face.

"Worried I'd have to place a req order for some cybernetics. Those things are expensive as hell."

He chuckled. "At least both eyes would still match, long as I got it in blue."

Shepard sighed. She glanced at the end of the platform, where Iron's corpse now lay. He followed her gaze.

"At least now we can stop worrying about him." He said, though Shepard heard a hint of doubt in his voice.

"You mean Garrus can stop worrying about it?" Wrex said.

"Assuming he believes it." Bourne muttered. "I'm not sure I do." He pulled the datafile from his belt. "But now that Iron's been dealt with, maybe we should get back to what we came here for?"

"So we're just going to ignore the fact that-" Tali began, but Bourne cut her off.

"He's dead. Sovereign is not. I'd like to rectify that situation." He moved up the platform, not giving them a chance to reply.

He activated his Omni-tool, transferring the data file. "Assuming direct control… now."

Shepard assumed it was some sort of stupid joke, based on his very small smile.

"Let's see now, where's… god damnit, I really need to learn how to do this sort of thing." He muttered. "Tali, think you get the Citadel's arms open from here?"

She activated her own Omni-tool, fingers flying across the controls. "There. That should do it, but it'll take a few moments for the station to process it."

Bourne didn't seem to hear her, trying to do something else.

Shepard shook her head. "Tali, can you open a com channel since the Lt. here clearly can't?"

He shot her a hurt look. "I could have figured it out."

Wrex laughed. "If we had a few thousand years to wait."

Bourne crossed his arms. "Yes, because you're clearly a technological prodigy. You have no room to talk."

Wrex's reply was cut off by a distress signal.

"This is the destiny ascension! Main drive is offline! Kinetic Barriers failing! The council is onboard! The council is onboard!"

Bourne grimaced. "Well, this is going to be a fun conversation. I can tell already."

* * *

><p><strong>So, will the council live, or will they die? I already know, no democracy this time, but I'm sort of curious what you guys think I'll do. It's always interesting to read through your guesses. Well, for me it is anyway.<strong>

**But you can still be democratic about which version I do first. And it is once again tied fifty-fifty. Sigh. I don't understand how that's even possible. Anybody that hasn't voted, I implore that you do. **

**Until next time, Sayonara**


	78. Sacrifice

**Ok, I'm normally not the sort of person to hate something just because it's different than the old version, but I'm not a fan of the site update. Mainly because I have no sort of cover art. (Hint to any willing artists out there. If I draw something, it'll be stick figures. I'd seriously appreciate it. And/or maybe something for the sequels.)**

**Actually, really random question, but has anybody seen or heard about any fan art for this series? I'm guessing not, but I'd laugh if there was.**

* * *

><p><em>*Bourne-*<em>

_)Hero, I already know what you're going to say, so don't.(_

_*But have you-*_

I blocked her out before she could even finish the sentence.

"This is the destiny ascension! Main drive is offline! Kinetic Barriers failing! The council is onboard! The council is onboard!"

_And now comes the part where I have to decide which of two horrible options is worse. Reminds me of another ending of a similar game. _

I grimaced. "Well, this is going to be a fun conversation. I can tell already."

Raptor glared at me, but her doubtlessly irritated response was cut off by Joker's voice.

"Normandy to the Citadel, Normandy to the citadel. Please tell me that it's you two."

"You were expecting someone else?" I quipped.

"We're here Joker. What's your status?" Raptor said.

"The Normandy is sitting in the Andurus Sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We caught that distress call. We can save the Ascension. Just have Tali unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the Calvary in!"

Raptor glanced at me. Part of her seemed to be telling me her decision, the other part asking for advice.

"Raptor, we both know that if we do that, human causalities aren't exactly going to be low."

"And we also both know that the Council is on that ship, and you might be a bit biased about that."

"With good reason." I crossed my arms.

"You're only proving my point."

"That thing's a threat to every species in the galaxy, including mine. And as much as I hate to admit it, not saving them might not be the smartest idea." Wrex said.

"But Bourne has a point about casualties." Tali countered. "They might not have enough to deal with Sovereign."

"Either way there'll be plenty of corpses." I said. "The real question is who those corpses will be." I started pacing, feeling Hero trying to break through my defenses. "But either way, they'll be able to take Sovereign down. That thing might be tough, but no way is it invincible." There wasn't a hint of doubt in my words.

I turned, facing them. "Which begs the question-"

"Bourne, answer me honestly. If we don't save them, what will happen?" Raptor asked me.

I hesitated. I hadn't been expecting to be asked so directly. _Well, that leaves me with no room to maneuver. _

_*You know exactly what will happen. That's what I was trying to say before. Even if you don't like them-*_

_)If? IF? Have you forgotten all that those idiots have done!(_

_*If you just let them die, humanity will lose the trust of everyone. If you save them, they'll literally be in your debt.*_

I reluctantly conceded the point. _)True, but-(_

_*Bourne, admit it. You can't think of a single good reason to not save them.*_

_)Oh? What about all the human soldiers we'll lose?(_

_*I never thought you would be one to judge by species.*_

_)I'm not. But the fact is, if they die, it's on my head. Every single ship, every single person.(_

_*And have you thought about all the people on the Ascension? Besides the council? Won't their lives be on your head?*_

_)That isn't the same.(_

_*Like hell it isn't. Those soldiers are ready to do what they have to. But I want you to remember something, which I know isn't a problem for you. Remember those renegade playthroughs, where you just let them die. Remember that look on the pilot's face when they see help coming, but Joker cuts off the com. Remember-*_

_)I get the idea. But what about-(_

_*Their replacements will be even worse. They won't owe you their lives, and they'll always remember that you were willing to sacrifice others to support human intrests.*_

_)If I did it, that wouldn't be the reason.(_

_*Exactly. If you kill them just because of a grudge, isn't that worse? Isn't that what Iron would do?*_

_)He wouldn't kill them over a grudge, he'd kill them just because it was fun. But I get the point. Much as I don't like admitting it.(_

In my head, I heaved a deep sigh.

_)You realize this means now I can never go back to my own universe?(_

_*Meaning…*_

_)If people knew I had the chance to kill these morons and didn't, there'd be a nationwide manhunt for me.( _

I sighed, out loud this time. "I really hate this job some days. My guess is that Humanity wouldn't exactly be trusted anymore."

_*Not to mention, Udina would take over.*_

_)But Anderson would… ok yeah, good point. And the Council might be a bunch of idiots, but Udina's the one that really needs to be kept away from power.(_

"Bourne, I need a straight answer here." Shepard said.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this." I said, shaking my head. "Tali, open the relays. Joker, save that ship, whatever you have to do." I closed the com channel. "And let's hope this doesn't come back to haunt me."

"Don't worry Bourne, that's my job." A voice said from near my feet. I was in motion before the sentence was halfway over.

It didn't even take a second to grab Iron by the throat and press a gun to his head. "Did you not hear me say to _Stay _dead?" I growled through clenched teeth. I dangled him over the glass below. "I really hate repeating myself, but I'm willing to make an exception here."

"How are you even still alive?" Raptor asked, her own gun also aimed at his head.

"If I had a cred for every time I asked Bourne that…" He laughed maniacally. "I knew you were a fool Bourne, but saving them? Throwing away-"

I pressed the gun harder against his head. "Shut up. Just fucking shut up!" I shouted at him.

What was still movable on his face grinned. "Let's face it. You already regret that decision."

"Nothing I can do about it now."

"Because you were weak. You were too weak to do what needed to be done. You think they'll trust you any more now than they did before?"

"I'll shoot that bridge when I come to it"

I could feel Raptor glaring at me.

"Sorry, did I say shoot? Slip of the tongue."

"See? You know what you have to do, but you don't have the guts. You don't have the guts to do what you have to."

"No Iron, he does." Raptor said, firmly resting her gun against his flickering cybernetic eye. "He had enough guts to see that revenge wasn't as important as-"

He spit in her face, and she stumbled back, wiping it off. "Blah Blah Blah. You just don't want to admit-"

I tightened my grip around his throat. He was cut off, sputtering.

"Iron, let me brutally honest with you. I've wanted to do this since the day we met."

He coughed out a laugh. "Come on, think of all the good times we've been through."

"And now you're trying to save your skin by spinning some tale of camaraderie? You've threatened my friends, tried to enslave my mind, and now tried to wipe out all life in the galaxy. You don't deserve to live another nano-second!"

"You don't have the guts to pull that trigg_" His words were cut off as my explosive round tore out the back of his skull.

"Wanna bet?" I fired into his head until my gun overheated. His cybernetic eye fizzled and died.

I threw the corpse through the glass, into the level below.

"Good riddance." Tali said.

"On that Tali, we can agree." I threw the corpse through the glass, into the level below.

I held out my hand, and one of Shepard's grenades flew into it. I activated it, and sent it right into the hole in his chest. It exploded with a satisfying bang, sending parts of his torso flying everywhere.

_I think he was my least favorite part of my job._

_*At least you got a lot of practice.*_

_)Don't patronize me.(_

_*At least it's over.*_

_)I wish I could share your optimism.(_

"Remind me to never get on your bad side." Wrex muttered.

I grunted. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Raptor asked.

"I'm making sure that bastard is dead."

She gave me a skeptical look. "You unloaded half a dozen explosive-"

"Shepard, he had a giant hole in his chest, got shot in the throat, stabbed through an eye, and then I put a black hole in his chest that made his body collapse in on himself. And yet, when we came up here, he was still alive after all that. Somehow. Until I warp what's left of that body into dust, I'm not done."

I jumped to the lower level, landing softly with my powers.

The body was lying there, damaged, but mostly intact. There were no signs of life, but I still kept my shotgun trained on it.

_*Bourne…* _Hero sounded fainter than ever.

_)Are you ok?(_

_*No, not really… it's something to do with Iron.*_

_)What do you mean?(_

_*I don't know. But that's not what's important right now.*_

_)I'd say it's pretty important.(_

Raptor's voice sounded in my ear. "Good new Bourne. Looks like the council is safe."

"You and I have very different ideas of good news."

"And the fleets have begun attacking Sovereign. It's almost over."

"I wish I could believe that."

_*Bourne, wait. Remember what I said before? Why I thought something was wrong?*_

_)You mean Iron not being in here?(_

_*No. I mean that the body was up there, instead of down here. But now…*_

I swore loudly.

"Bourne?" Raptor asked, concerned.

The ground began to shake. The remaining unbroken glass shattered. I threw up a barrier as it rained down.

But my real attention was on Iron's body. It began to flare red. But it wasn't the red fire of his Biotics. This was red lighting. His body crackled and spasmed, and what was left of his flesh burned away.

There was a bright flash of light, and I was thrown back. I heard metal creaking above me, and the whole walkway started to give way.

Shepard and the others fell down with us. I got back to my feet, sore but not injured.

"Bourne. You have become an annoyance." The corpse stood up. It was like a rotted skeleton, barely held together by scraps of cybernetics. The whole thing sparked with red lighting.

"I'm just getting started." I said, knife in each hand.

"Iron said something similar when he resisted a moment ago. His bravado did not last."

"I'm assuming he's dead now?" I said. I couldn't keep a small smile off of my face at the Irony. His own insanity had killed him. The Reaper had proven that Iron was no god. I hoped he had realized that just in time to die.

"His mind is utterly gone. Much as your companion will be."

I felt Hero fading. I could barely sense her now.

I flared my biotics, smile gone. "What's happening to her?"

"Your mind was housed in the organic brain. The others were housed in small nano chips. They were flawed to insure cooperation. Without periodic maintenance from us, they will cease to function. When Iron transferred himself, he activated the automatic self-destructs. As we speak, she is dying."

I felt a surge of anger. "You're lying."

_*No Bourne, it isn't. I can feel it.*_

_)Hero… I'm sorry.(_

_*Don't be. I should have died a long time ago. I always knew this was but a temporary reprieve.*_

_)Why didn't you say something?(_

_*You didn't need another distraction.*_

"She confirms it, doesn't she?" Sovereign asked. "You realize your goal is hopeless."

"I beg to differ."

Sovereign crouched, and I could see servos in his legs moving, reading it to start jumping all over the place.

_*Bourne… If I am going to die, I'm not just going to stay here and fade away.*_

Her purple Biotics spiraled among mine, faint and growing fainter. _)Hero, what are you doing?(_

_*If Iron can figure it out, I can too. I'm going in.*_

_)Sovereign will kill you!(_

_*I'm already dead. But maybe this way I can buy you some time, so you can do what has to be done.*_

_)I can already see that arguing with you won't do much good.(_

_*I always have had a tendency to be stubborn. You ought to know that by now.*_

I grit my teeth.

_*Bourne, this is my choice. It isn't your fault.*_

_)If I had-(_

_*Don't. It won't help anything. Just promise me, you'll take this Reaper Bastard down. And his friends too when they come.*_

_)They'll have to kill me if they want to stop me.(_

_*Thank you. Good bye, Jason Bourne.*_

I felt her mind slipping away. It was more noticeable than it had been with Iron. Her very soul collected into a sphere of pure energy, flying at Sovereign.

The energy didn't tear through it like Iron's had. Hero's energy was absorbed into the reanimated corpse, her purple essence flashing among the crimson storm flickering around him.

Sovereign froze, apparently fighting back against the transgression. I could see the red overtaking the violet once more.

"Bourne, what just happened?" Raptor asked, getting back up, already sliding her rifle into position.

"Hero just sacrificed herself to slow that thing down." I said grimly. I forced back my anger. it would only cloud my mind. "So now we take it down."

Raptor nodded. "Agreed. Wrex, Tali, give me some covering fire. Bourne-"

"I have a better idea." I activated my biotics, lifting the reanimated corpse into the air. I slammed it into the ground, then into the ceiling.

The other three just stared at it.

"Really?" Wrex asked in disbelief. "It's that-"

"Are you going to stand there complaining and staring, or are you going to shoot it?"

He grunted in response.

Wrex and Tali opened fire with their shotguns. Raptor started blasting apart what was left of the head.

My Biotics suddenly cut out, and I flicked a knife into each hand as the monstrosity fell to the ground.

True fires began to burn along it. Not the energy of Iron or the Reapers, but normal fires.

I stored the knives as the body burned. "Rest in peace." I muttered. _Saren might have been an evil bastard, but his body didn't need to be desecrated like that. _I ignored the fact that I had done most of the damage. I really didn't care. He was finished, and so was Iron.

The only one I was sorry to see go was Hero. I clenched a fist. _They'll pay. I don't care if it takes me the rest of my life. _

"What was that?" Raptor asked.

"Nothing. Just glad it's… well it's not over, but it's a start."

"Bit anticlimatic." Wrex muttered.

"Would have rather it actually fought back?" Tali retorted.

"Maybe. Shooting at a moving opponent is more fun."

"You Krogan have an odd idea of fun."

I shook my head.

Suddenly, I felt rather than heard a distant explosion. _Oh come on! Why does the universe hate me?_

"What was that?" Raptor said, looking up at the window. Her eyes widened as she did so.

"Wrex's more climatic ending." I answered, part of Sovereign headed right for us. "Might I suggest we-"

"Move!" Shepard shouted, already in motion.

"Yeah, that." I took off at a dead sprint as the rubble broke through.

Some pieces went faster than others, propelled by the explosion. Metal chunks the size of a car fell on all sides, kicking up too much dust for me to see the others. It was chaos.

I threw my helmet on as it became hard to breathe. But it was no easier to see. I looked up, making sure I was safe for the moment, and did a full 360 degree spin.

I felt a surge of relief as I saw Raptor, only for the feeling to be replaced by horror.

She looked as disoriented as me, and was completely unaware of the piece of rubble falling towards her.

* * *

><p><strong>Y<strong>**eah, I know, I'm evil. But I figure that a cliffhanger might motivate me to come up with the next chapter a bit faster. Or maybe I'm just saying that to try to justify it. **

**Until next time, Adios. **


	79. I am in Extreme Pain Right Now

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, it would be Jenkins who lived past the opening, and Kaiden would get killed. **

**I can already hear fan girls screaming at me for saying that. **

**(This is his beta-reader, ConvictionSC over here. I so totally agree about the Jenkins part. Kaidan... Not so much. :p)**

**Yeah, she actually wanted me to say that. I guess to spare herself the flames coming my way now. **

* * *

><p>It was pure chaos. As soon as Raptor saw the debris coming at them, she started running, shouting a hasty order to the rest of them.<p>

But she didn't even know if they'd heard her. She couldn't see anything now, there was too much dust and static in the air. Even her radar was ineffective, the signal scrambled. Her radio was similarly affected.

She stopped for a moment to get her bearings, then all the air was driven out of her as something hit her from behind, driving her forward several meters.

The momentum suddenly cut off, and she was thrown to the ground as a loud crash sounded where she had been a moment before.

"That, was way too close." Bourne said from behind her, bent over and seeming to fight for breath.

Shepard got stood back up, brushing herself off. "Where'd you come from?"

"Does it really matter?"

He suddenly swept her off her feet, lifting her into his arms. The only reason she didn't slap him was that she was too surprised.

She was even more shocked as his Biotics surrounded the both of them, and they shot forward, narrowly missing another piece of rubble.

Shepard couldn't believe the speed; it was faster than even the Mako.

Bourne suddenly stopped as another piece of metal landed in front of them. He looked around, then accelerated to the side as more metal rained down.

"How are you doing this?"

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Short version."

"I don't know."

She sighed. "Ok, long version."

"I saw you about to get crushed, and whatever Iron was blocking before kicked in. Guess it just takes the possibility of a friend getting killed for me to use it. Here's hoping it stays until we're out of here."

"So the short version was a lie?"

"No, the long version is a guess."

Shepard's reply was cut off as he darted forward again, cheating death once more.

His eyes roamed the area, looking for a way out.

"How long can you keep this up?"

"As long as I have to."

He tried to maintain a confident aura, but Shepard could still tell he was exhausted by the day's efforts. "Bourne…"

"I already lost one friend today. I'm not losing another one."

Shepard could strangle him for being so stubborn.

His jaw suddenly dropped, something she hadn't seen before.

"Bourne?"

He dropped her abruptly, causing her to curse. His hands, glowing blue, shot above his head. An orb of energy shot from each.

"What are you-" Shepard stopped short she looked up. It looked like about half of Sovereign was falling towards them. Bourne's energy intercepted it, bending and warping a portion of the metal. As the structure landed, the two of them were incased in the dented section. It barely cleared their heads, but Shepard was still amazed at how much damage was done. There was just enough space that they could squeeze out.

Bourne put his hands on his knees, bent over and breathing hard. "Oh good. We aren't dead." Shepard caught him as his knees buckled and he fell forward. She gently lowered him into a sitting position.

"Bourne?"

"I think I might have slightly over exerted myself."

"You have a unique gift for understatement."

"Just give me a second, and I'll open that gap up a bit more."

"Or, you could just stay here and get your strength back so you don't kill yourself."

"Or, I could get us out of here."

_Time for a new tactic. _"I promised Ashley I'd bring you back in one piece, and I intend to keep that promise."

For a brief moment, she could see his face twist at his words. An instant later, his face was back to its unreadable state. He forced a laugh. "I think 'in one piece' is already out." He pointed to his face; some of the wounds had begun to bleed again, the medigel worn out by the high velocity of his movements.

A warning sounded in Shepard's ear, and his vitals popped up on her retinas. They were getting dangerously low.

She knelt beside him. "I wouldn't worry about it too much Bourne. Slap on some-"

"Some make up and no one will ever know the difference?"

"Something like that. Not like you'll be any uglier than before."

He laughed, but it came out harsh and ragged. It erupted into a fit of coughing. He raised his hand to his mouth, and it came away red.

Shepard felt a surge of fear before she forced it back down. "Bourne, your vitals aren't looking good."

"I'm injured? I hadn't noticed." He managed to convey.

Shepard grabbed him as he fell forward. She gently lowered him back onto the ground. "Take it easy. Try not to move."

He met her gaze with his own. "Don't sugar coat it Shepard."

"Would you rather I told you flat out what your chances are?"

"Never tell me the odds" he said, coughing again. "I'm not going to let a little cough get me down."

Shepard's eyes widened as a more complete analysis appeared before her eyes. It looked like he'd gotten several ribs broken in the fight against Iron, or maybe when Sovereign took over his corpse.

Bourne glanced at her. "Bad?"

"It looks like your broken ribs shifted around in all the commotion. And they did some damage."

"Guess I haven't gotten the hang of it yet." He deadpanned, then groaned, clutching his chest.

"Come on, stay with me Bourne."

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think that actually has a medical effect."

"Would you prefer that line about kicking your ass if you die?"

"Do I have to answer that?" He groaned again.

"Wonder what you'll have to get cloned this time." Shepard said, trying to keep him distracted from what had to be a great deal of pain.

"Already been there with Liver, maybe a new lung or two." He said, forcing a grin. "And maybe a new kidney. Only need the one after all."

"You're a real optimist." She said sarcastically.

"I'm not crying and giving up at life am I?"

He groaned again, and stiffened.

She knew his chances were low, but she refused to give up on him just yet. "Just stay with me, and don't bleed out."

"You really know how to motive a guy." He said sarcastically. "Must be why you had to go with the Asari."

_If he wasn't practically at death's door, I'd put him there myself right now s_he thought as her face turned red.

"That one gets you every time." Bourne said with a chuckle, then winced.

"I think I'll let it slide under the circumstances." Shepard said in a weak attempt at humor. She was a bit distracted resisting the urge to strangle him.

Bourne didn't respond to that one. Shepard was worried a moment, but she could still see his chest rising and falling.

"Bourne?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"What a mess you'd make of things if I went and died on you."

"It's a good thing I can tell you're joking."

"Mostly."

Shepard looked at him with confusion.

"What can I say? I've killed a lot of people, but somehow never got it through my skull that I could actually die. I've escaped it so often, I almost lost my fear of it. Or maybe I just buried my fear of Sovereign beneath my hate of it. My desire for revenge overtook fear. "

"Don't talk like that Bourne. You're too stubborn to die."

He continued on like he hadn't heard her. Shepard wasn't sure that he hadn't. She wasn't even sure if he was addressing her, or thinking aloud, or simply trying to work through some unknown problem.

"Where I'm from, this already had happened. Every new time, I still foresaw the outcome before it happened. But now, I'm as blind as the worm that tunnels through the dirt, unable to see what lies ahead. At least, I think worms are blind. Are they? I don't know."

His words had taken on a hazy, dreamlike quality. This was confirmed as his vitals dropped lower. But he continued his speech.

"But some days I feel like I'm blind. I see a thousand swords flying at me, but I don't know which are real, and which aren't. Do I duck? Shoot? Run? Dodge? Or just throw them back where they came from? I don't know, Shepard. I really don't."

"Bourne, I need you to just breathe. This is only-"

"Bourne _this_, Bourne _that_, another illusion, albeit one of my own doing, and unavoidable at that. And yet, it's also the truth. I was reborn when I crashed on Eden Prime, when I met Ashley, when I met you.  
>"And I might as well be called Bourne Bourne for how often my first name is used. Ashley's the only one that calls me Jason. For everyone else, it shields me or separates me, just as your own last name separates you.<br>"And you do the same thing. They see Lt. Bourne and Commander Shepard, not Jason and Raptor."

"Never thought I'd hear you calling yourself that." Shepard said, trying to distract him. His tirade was worrying. She knew he wasn't a true fool, despite his personality, but this was much different than she'd seen him before.

"Maybe so." He agreed. He fell silent, but Shepard could see thoughts rolling around in his head.

"But wh-"

"I know what's coming Raptor, but I can't change it. And when I did, it's been galaxy shaking. Sparing two who might be friend or foe trusting that they could be the former. Decisions I never thought I'd have to face. Decisions I always thought would be yours. I expected to help you, but not be your XO."

"It's a decision I don't regret."

"Before, I never realized how devoid my life was of meaning. I might have found it had I lived long enough, but to have so many lives at my fingertips? Even those I've yet to meet will someday depend on us. We'll be their saviors, or their killers. And you don't even know it yet."

Shepard was hesitant to interrupt, but she didn't know that she should let him continue. She was no longer sure he knew what he was saying. _But_, and she hated herself for thinking it_ It might be my only chance to get any drop of knowledge from him._

"What's so important Bourne?"

"What isn't important Raptor? Everything has consequences. Newton was wrong; the reaction to our actions is far greater than the actions themselves. We might never know full well what we wrought, but we can know enough to guess."

Shepard shook her head. "Bourne, just stay-"

"I busted my ribs, not my head. I'm not going nuts on you here, I know what I'm talking about. We just made one decision like one I speak of. How many things will this council do differently than their replacements might have? How differently might they treat the ones that saved them than those that killed their predecessors? How much more will the galaxy trust us for others' sacrifices?  
>"I asked myself that when you wanted my advice. But doesn't mean I have the answers. . Iron was right about one thing. <span>I do have power<span>. But I don't know how to use it. Don't know when to use it, or what to use it on. Don't know why I can use it. Don't understand it. I'm not a god, I'm still sane enough to realize that, but I… we have potential to shift lives. You even more so than me."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably. She still couldn't quite come to grips with what Bourne had said about her importance in the future.

"But you can't give up on hope. You have to keep going, have to believe that no matter what happens, the Reapers can be stopped."

He managed to reach up and grab her hand. "Promise me that Raptor."

She swallowed a few times. "I promise Jason. I won't let your sacrifice-"

"Who said anything about a sacrifice? I plan on pulling through. I just figured we should sort this out ahead of time."

His hand fell limp in hers as he leaned back. "That being said, I am in extreme pain right now and very much hope that the medics get here soon because I might pass out now."

"What, you're tired?"

"Bored." He said with a chuckle that rapidly turned into a fit of hacking. "And really just hurting."

"You've had worse."

He rolled his eyes. "I'll be sure to tell you that next time you end up with internal bleeding."

Her attention was suddenly drawn away from Bourne by a distant shout. "Captain Anderson, we've found them! They're here!"

_Anderson? _Shepard thought in surprise. She looked for him through the gap, but couldn't see them.

"Oh good, there's the medics." Bourne said weakly. "Right on schedule. But since they can't seem to see us, maybe you could go get their attention?"

His eyes rolled up in his head, and he fell back to the ground unconscious.

* * *

><p><strong>That doesn't count as a cliffhanger, does it? Well, maybe a little bit, but come on: Do you expect anything else by now?<strong>

**And for the record, I just thought I'd cut the chapter in half here. But since that's taking me longer to write than I thought, I figured I could at least throw this your way. **

**Not that many more chapters. Three tops counting an epilogue. Then I'll do the sequel after I finish the rewrites of the earlier chapters. **

**And then there might also be a couple new things coming your way. But if I told you, that wouldn't be as fun as just teasing you like this.**

**Until next time, Atra esterní ono thelduin, Mor'ranr lífa unin hjarta onr, Un du evarínya ono varda. **


	80. Could it Really Be?

**Alright, I'm cutting off the poll this Thursday. Then I'll announce which I'm doing first in chapter 81, which should _hopefully_ be up not long after. But let's face it: I have no idea when a chapter will actually be done. I mean, at one point I said my goal was to be done by 65 chapters. Yeah, fifteen chapters over par. And I've still got at least two more chapters to go.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, the ending would probably… make even less sense. I write for Iron after all.**

* * *

><p><em>I<em> _felt my body stiffening even as I heard the rescue party coming. All the colors seemed to be fading from the world, devolving into a realm of black and white. _

_I tried to focus on Raptor, tried to make some joke about the situation and fight back the fear clawing at my mind. But even as I said the words, the sounds grew fainter in my ears. _

_My eyes rolled back into my head and my vision exploded in an all-consuming white blast._

_I felt oddly detached from my body. The pain was gone, but so were the sensations so familiar to life._

_And yet, I still lay on my back in the whiteness that surrounded me. It felt neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. It was odd._

_"Are you just going to lie there all day?"_

_I jolted up at the sound, activating my powers. It took me a moment to realize that my Biotics didn't manifest themselves. _

_"Yeah, those don't work here." _

_I spun wildly as I looked for the source. A flash of purple stood out among the white. As I focused on it, it resolved into…"Hero?"_

_"Who else could pull this look off?" She said, gesturing to her violet armor. _

_"It does match your eyes." I said with a chuckle. Then my brain caught up with me. "Wait, didn't you-"_

_"Yes."_

_I looked around the area again. "I'm dead, aren't I?" I asked resignedly._

_"Not yet. You're hovering. Hopefully you can call it a near death experience."_

_"Meaning it could still just be a death experience?"_

_She didn't reply, the answer being self-evident. _

_"So then, why are you-"_

_"I'm here with a choice."_

_I suddenly felt exposed for no apparent reason. My vision flashed, resolving for a moment to color. _

"He's flat lining. Get the defib unit!" A medic hovered over me, a black spec among the bright light above me.

Two purple orbs stood out as Raptor handed him something. I felt cool pads being attached to my skin, my chest plate now removed, shirt cut open, and I felt my body arch as electricity poured into me.

_The color faded once more, and I saw Hero looking at me sadly._

_"You bear a heavy burden."_

_I shook my head. "No more so than you. You didn't have a choice. I did."_

_"Did you? I think you would have been forced into it either way."_

_"As were you."_

_She shrugged. "Maybe. But that doesn't diminish it."_

_I sighed. "Ok, if this is just an opportunity for you to try giving me a pep talk, can we skip it?"_

_She glared at me, looking more like Raptor than I'd ever seen. _

_"Just saying. I've been through too much to fall for one of those."_

_She shook her head. "What I was leading into is that maybe you don't have to bear such a burden any longer."_

_I looked at her in confusion._

_"You were brought here by an unusual means."_

_"You could say that again."_

_"Do you remember what occurred?"_

_"What, you mean being hit by what I thought was lightning, then ending up on Eden Prime?"_

_"Yes. The lighting coursing through you allowed the Reapers to bring your mind here, to this body."_

_I crossed my arms. "And how is that relevant now, exactly?"_

_"You saw that they are using it now to try to revive you."_

_I sighed. "I think I see where you're going with this."_

_"You don't have to bear this-"_

_"Stop. Just stop."_

_She paused with her mouth still open._

_"I get the gist of it. You can send my mind back to my real body and out of this one."_

_She shifted slightly. "More or less."_

_"Not happening."_

_She looked surprised. "I thought that-"_

_"Well you thought wrong then." I turned and started pacing. "Here, countless lives depend on me. Back there? I could die and nobody will really care."_

_"What about your family?" _

_I stopped mid step, and turned to glare at her. "Low blow." _

_"I just want to make sure you've fully thought this out. If you go back, you won't remember anything that's happened here."_

_"Won't remember it consciously maybe. But do you really think that there won't be some part of me that remembers my powers? Some part that would remember Iron? That I could just forget Ashley? Any more than you would forget, were you in my place?"_

_She looked at me oddly. "Most people would jump on the opportunity to return home."_

_"Most people aren't me. I committed myself to this. I'm not giving up now, just because I can. I can't even remember what would be waiting for me there. But I do know what's here. I'm staying."_

_"There will be even more hardships in your future."_

_I laughed humorlessly. "I of all people know what the future can bring. You're dancing around it, but I know what you mean. And I know that it will be terrible. That it can rip everything apart. But I know what happens even beyond that."_

_"You mean that fact that you might die along with Raptor?"_

_I tried not to let show what that simple sentence did to me. I'd been trying to dance around that issue. "To put it bluntly."_

_"Or that you might have to live two years where she's dead?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And what will happen on Horizon?"_

_I forced myself to not show what I was feeling. "Yes."_

_"And yet you still want to stay here?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Despite the fact that Raptor could still defeat them on her own?"_

_I crossed my arms. "I'm staying. With all the changes I've caused, no way am I leaving this mess for just Raptor to clean up after."_

_"I know." _

_The matter of fact way she said it killed the rest of my arguments before I could say them. I looked at her, not sure what she meant._

_"I doubted that you would want to leave. But sometimes you have to hear yourself say it to be sure."_

_I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah."_

_"But you do realize that they might not be able to revive you right now?"_

_I thought about that for a moment. My first instinct was to shrug it off, but something about Hero's words seemed off. "Let me ask _you_ something: Why do you keep trying to convince me to-"_

_"Because you've been given a choice I never had. That's my point. Me, Raptor, even Iron for that matter, we never had a choice. You do, and yet instead of choosing an easy life, you're choosing this one." She shook her head. "I just don't get it."_

_"What, you think I do?" I shrugged. "But I know that I won't be able to forgive myself if I do."_

_She sighed. "I guess there's nothing I can say to convince you."_

_"Not a thing."_

_"Then I guess all I can say is wish you luck."_

_"I'm probably going to need it anyway."_

_She shifted uncomfortably again. _

_I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "So, I guess this is goodbye… again."_

_"A bit less hectic than the last time." She agreed. "But can you do one last thing for me?"_

_"What's that?"_

_"If you get the chance, can you punch that Turian bastard in the face for me?"_

_I looked at her in surprise._

_"What? I might be a Paragon, but that guy was still an ass."_

_"I think I can arrange that." I said with a chuckle._

_She turned and started walking away. "Until we meet again then."_

_I looked after her in confusion. "Wait, what do you mean?"_

_She didn't reply, and seemed to fade as she got farther away. And as I tried to run after her, I found myself rooted to the spot. All the whiteness in the world seemed to fade, blackness overtaking it._

_And the last thing I heard before the illusion faded was a familiar evil laugh._

* * *

><p>"I think he's waking up."<p>

"What? With the amount of sedatives we gave him?"

"Vitals are improving. The treatment appears to be working faster than we thought it would."

"Give him another dose, now!"

I let out an involuntary groan as consciousness returned to me. My eyes popped open, but I closed them again almost immediately as light assaulted them, shining through the window across the room from me. It was almost too much like the conversation with Hero had been.

I forced an eye open, and looked around. I appeared to be in a hospital on the Citadel. I winced as I saw parts of it smoking and burning from the attack.

The two I heard before, who by their clothes I assumed to be a nurse and a doctor, looked at me with unconcealed shock.

I raised my hands, rubbing my eyes, and saw that my arms were a mess of blues and yellows, bruised beyond all reason.

I looked down at my chest, which I realized was bare except for a few bandages around the ribs. It was also covered with bruises, and I saw identical lines of stiches that started under my armpits and disappeared into the bandages.

I whistled softly. "Anybody get the serial number of the air car that hit me?"

My comment seemed to snap them back to reality.

The doctor muttered something to the nurse, who shot me a look and almost ran off into the hallway.

"Ok, am I missing something here?" I asked, noticing their reactions.

She responded by holding up her hand. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

I sighed and told her the answer.

"What's the date today?"

I shrugged, wincing a moment later as pain shot through my sides, the stiches apparently being pulled on. I forced my poker face back on. "I didn't know that to start with." I frowned as something else occurred to me. "How long have I been out anyway?"

She didn't respond, marking something on a data pad.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

She came closer to my bed to adjust something.

I grabbed her arm, and pulled her close enough that I could grab the back of her head with my other hand. I forced her to look me in the eyes, and gave her the same death glare Raptor so often used on me.

I heard her gulp.

"Now that I have your attention, I'll ask again. How long has it been?"

She gulped, and looked around, as if for help. "About 9 hours." If I had been knocked out already… _Then why did she need to give me sedatives? I can't imagine it took a full 9 hours to get me back to normal…so if she gave me more sedatives…_ _Then she didn't want me waking up for a while. Which just brings up more questions._

"Ok question two. Why did you two freak out when I woke up, and what did I hear about sedatives?"

She hesitated.

I sighed, and released my grip on her head. I raised my hand, biotics flaring around it. "You can just tell me, or we can do this the hard way."

"You weren't predicted to wake up for months." She blurted out. She gasped and covered her mouth as she realized what she'd said.

I couldn't help but feel some pride that my face didn't change a bit. "Meaning what, exactly?" I put a hint of bite into my words, tiring of the runaround treatment.

She opened her mouth to reply, but cut off as we both heard shouting coming from the hall.

I relaxed slightly as I recognized Raptor's voice. But the effect on the doctor was the exact opposite. She looked like a cornered animal, trying to escape. I saw her glance at the window, and I strengthened my grip on her arm. It looked like she was ready to jump out.

It suddenly occurred to me that Raptor sounded _pissed_.

The nurse ran in, and tried to shut the door, only to have it kicked in by a certain N7 commander. "I said I want answers!" She sounded even madder than I could make her. My feelings for the nurse were torn between being impressed, and being slightly sympathetic.

"I think I know the feeling Raptor." I said, still keeping an eye on the doctor.

She looked at the nurse, and her glare intensified. "You told me he wasn't even at this hospital."

"Wait, then how did you-"

"I overheard her talking about you with someone. Something about how you were comatose and wouldn't recover for several months. "

There was a brief silence.

The nurse suddenly tried to run past Shepard. My view was blocked by the doctor-who I still was holding by the arm- but I heard a loud smack, then the sound of an unconscious body hitting the floor.

The doctor's eyes widened.

I smiled grimly. "And she was going easy on her. I myself on the other hand, do not share that policy. But if you want to end up on the floor, feel free to try."

She struggled and tried to get away. Raptor hit her over the head and she fell to the ground, stunned. I let her go as she fell.

"Well, I did warn you." I said with a slight smile.

"Now then, is there a reason you decided to lie to me?" Raptor asked. _Damn, I hope I never get her that mad at me. How mad I do make is bad enough, and it's usually worth it._

The doctor clamped her mouth shut, shaking her head.

Raptor looked at me, and I could tell she was pissed at her. "Bourne? You recovered enough to do the honors?"

I moved out the bed, Biotics flaring around me. "So, let me make sure I have this all straight. She apparently knocked me out and tried to keep me that way, lied to you about me being here, and generally deserves a malpractice suit. "

"You do realize I'm already in a bad mood?"

"Point taken." I looked at the doctor. "So, considering that either one of us could… well, use your imagination, and then ask yourself if you should really keep lying."

She looked between us, then she started talking fast enough that I had trouble keeping up. "All the readings said that you were in a coma; your mind wasn't responding to any outside stimuli."

_So then, that must have been Hero. _Part of me had thought it was a dream. _But that laughter at the end… no, it couldn't be._

"I wasn't going to hurt you, I swear! None of us would have! We just wanted to-" She clamped her hands over her mouth again.

I kept my anger off my face, but it still was apparent in my voice. "Out with it."

She shook her head, still covering her mouth.

"Last chance." I flared my biotics. "

She didn't respond.

I sighed. "Alright then, have it your way." In one motion, I lifted my foot and brought it down on her knee. The sound of her snapping leg was drowned out by her scream.

Raptor shook her head, clearly not approving. But she refrained from saying anything.

I shrugged_. I'll feel guilty about it later. Well, actually, I won't_. "You had that one coming. But I'm willing to not do that again if you talk."

She looked at me with fearful eyes. "Nothing you could do is as bad as what he'd do if I told you-" she covered her mouth again.

_As what _he'd_ do? Hmm, well that narrows it down at least a little bit. Although, Saren is dead, and he probably wouldn't have humans working for him. Then again, he did make me…  
><em>I forced myself to consider if Iron might be responsible. _But if he was, he would have contacted her without me or Hero noticing. Slim chance._ I looked at how scared she was, but Iron would probably have just gotten annoyed and killed her then used her. _And the order was given after he was dead. Unless… no, Sovereign said he was dead. And I can't think of any reason the squid would have lied about it._

"Who gave the order?" Raptor asked, crouching down next to her.

"I… I can't tell you."

"You can clearly see that Bourne's willing to do whatever it takes to get answers. I'd rather avoid such extreme measures though."

_This routine again? Well, I guess it's worked so far…_

She shook her head. "No. You couldn't protect me, nobody could."

"You'd be surprised."

She didn't say anything, she just clenched her jaw shut tight and I thought I heard a faint click. Her eyes widened, and I saw true fear in them.

My gut said that she had just done something dangerous to us. I threw Shepard in stasis and put up my barrier.

A moment later, the front of her face exploded. Light and smoke made it difficult to see for a few moments. When the smoke cleared, I freed us both.

Raptor looked understandably surprised.

_Ok, what the hell just happened? And god I am glad I listened to my gut._

Raptor shot me a grateful look, than examined what was left of the Doctor's head, which wasn't much.

I felt like I'd heard about something like this before, but I couldn't place it. "This is the worse hospital ever." I muttered.

Raptor nodded absently, prying open what was left of the jaw. "Looks like some sort of suicide device. Or else someone else triggered it."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. She was terrified, and not of us. If she'd rather blow her head off then rat this guy out…"

"Exactly. Any thoughts?"

"Not at the moment."

I glanced at the nurse, who should have been woken up by the giant explosion. Then I saw foam leaking from the corners of her mouth. I swore loudly. "Looks likes she did the same thing. Probably cyanide."

Shepard glanced at her. "Probably."

_Ok, think. Who would be able to do all this? Or more importantly, who would want to?_ "Find anything?"

"Well, not really, I can't find anything that might tell us who she was working for, but I'll bet she was senior to the nurse."

"What makes you say that?"

"I'm pretty sure that was an ocular flash bang. Those things are much harder to disarm than cyanide."

Suddenly, it clicked into place. I remembered Mordin saying something similar about _Cerberus! Which means _he _must be the Illusive Man!_

I almost said something to Shepard. _But that would mean explaining how I got the info. And it wouldn't help her want to help TIM take out the Collectors. _

_I'm starting to get what Hero warned me about._

Raptor shook her head and stood up. "I don't think we're going to learn anything more here."

I nodded agreement. _But still, why would TIM be trying to… man I can't wait to call that bastard that. That'll be sure to piss him off…But why would he be trying to kidnap me now? I can understand trying to get me once he has Shepard working with him, but just me on my own? And with this timing?_

_Probably best not to act on it yet though, not without more information. I better watch my back though._

I noticed Raptor was staring at me. "What?" _Please tell me I didn't say any of that out loud._

"Have you seen a mirror recently?"

I shot her a look of disbelief.

"Yeah, guess it was sort of a stupid question."

"I take it the things on my face scarred?"

She nodded. "Yeah, and it looks like they started bleeding again. And… your hair turned completely red."

"What?" I ran over to the glass, and what I could see of the reflection confirmed it.

I felt my like stomach do a backflip as I stared at the ominously familiar sight.

_Between this and the scars, I almost look like Iron. And I just know that he's responsible for the color change._ _People's hair has gone white from shock, and if having two people ripped from my head isn't worse, I don't know what is._

I looked at my reflection again. Though the bloody wounds and hair the same color made me resemble him, I could still see my own face underneath it all. My still blue eyes stared back, but I thought they were a hint less vivid blue, like they had just the slightest hint of indigo.

It seemed that Iron and Hero had both left their marks.

"Jason? You ok?"

I hesitated, then glanced at the bodies. I didn't trust TIM to have not wired them. "Let's just say, a certain maniac didn't make me all that partial to red heads. And the scars don't help."

"What, you've never heard of hair dye?" She said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Hah hah."

"Well, think of it this way. Now you won't have to fight off all the fans for autographs. Think of how they'll swarm me."

I laughed. "Yeah right."

"Actually, this one guy's been hounding me every time I've seen him. Hell, I ran into him after the battle was over, and he asked if I'd put in an application for him to join the Spectre Program."

I tried not to sigh, knowing that we'd now have to deal with him again now. "So what'd you do?"

"Well, normally I would have talked him down, but I was pissed because I hadn't gotten enough sleep, and was worried about you-"

"Oh, you so should not have said that. Now I am never letting you hear the end of it."

She glared at me.

"You were saying?"

"I ended up just putting a gun to his head and scarring him half to death."

I laughed. "Well, he probably had it coming."

"If you'd been there, I'm sure you would have done it yourself."

"Yeah, can't argue with that."

"I take it you've had enough of this hospital?"

"You think?"

"I'll notify C-sec about this, then I'm taking you to the Normandy so Chakwas can take a look at you."

I glanced down at myself again. "Yeah, maybe we should find me a shirt or something so it doesn't look like … On second thought, I'm bruised enough as is."

"Smart move."

* * *

><p><strong>So, again, you have until Tuesday to vote. Then I'm taking down the poll. And I won't accept any pm votes after that. If you use your phones or something and can't vote with the poll, send me a PM before than and I'll add it too.<strong>

**Until then, I'm going to try working on what I hope will be the last "chapter" chapter. Then I just need to do an epilogue, finish the rewriting process, and then I'm done with this first story.**

**Of course, there's that whole sequel thing… good. Bourne's too much fun to not keep writing.**

**Until next time… **


	81. Worse Timing Ever

**Alright, while I'm still not fully satisfied, I will admit the new DLC ending is an improvement on the original. _Slightly_. **

**(I, on the other hand, thought that the DLC ending was GORGEOUS. No idea why they didn't add it in the first time. Though if they actually gave us a happily-ever-after, I'll send a complaint saying what Mac Walters is a grade A idiot.** **-ConvictionSC)**

**Once again, she wanted to say that. I figure since she does such a great job with the betaing, I'll let her.**

**But that's beside the point. The results are in, so "only Shepard dies" version is first. Which I will start work on as soon as I finish this first story completely. Including rewriting the parts that make me facepalm when I read them.**

**But how long that'll take is anyone's guess. I still have about 5 chapters I need to completely redo, then just some edits to make sure everything fits the new begining.**

* * *

><p>I tried not to wince as Chakwas finished her examination.<p>

"Well, whoever your mysterious captors were, it looks like they knew how to treat severe trauma. You have over two hundred stiches in various place, bruised a third of your body, and all your ribs have been repaired or replaced with Cybernetics. Not to mention that your face can barely held together by medigel and stiches. In short, you're lucky to be alive."

"I think I've had worse." I managed to say with straight face, smiling.

"It appears you may also have a concussion."

My smiled dropped. "You doctors are all the same. No sense of humor. But in all seriousness-" I pointed at my hair "Any idea why that happened? Because unless I went color blind, my hair was not red yesterday."

She frowned. "That's the odd thing. Your lungs were likely punctured by your ribs, according to what the Commander said. It makes sense that those were replaced with flash-clones."

"What, like my liver had to be? And what does that have to do with my question?"

"Yes, but unlike with your liver, they appear to have been cybernetically enhanced. In fact, all of your internal organs were treated that way."

_Ok, don't freak out. Even if you are now a Cyborg. Crap, that isn't helping. No, permission to freak out not granted._ "So, what exactly do the upgrades mean? So I heal faster or what?"

"No, nothing that advanced. They appear to lessen any sort of impact on your organs, so your endurance should be much greater. And they seem to be tailored to your genetic enhancements. The color change must be a side effect."

"Interesting" I said dryly. But I was really wondering why The Illusive Man- _assuming it actually was him- _would want me improved so much. _Then again, he seems to have an obsession with cybernetically enhancing the people that work for him. Or maybe that was just because he got indoctrinated. Or it's there right now and the indoctrination… On second thought, I really don't care. But it sounds like now I might be able to charge without killing myself._

She ignored my comment. "You'll clearly need further treatment for your still present injuries, but it looks like everything serious has been taken care of."

"What about my biotics? Any odd readings there?" _If those were tampered with, that could either be really good, or totally suck._

"I didn't run any tests on- is there something specific you're worried about?"

_Well, I have two extra sets of implants, and now the owners are gone. _"They felt a little off during that last fight. Like something got bumped around in all the commotion."

"Hmm. Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to check."

She activated some sort of scan and went to deal with another patient. The whole medbay was full, the hospitals on the citadel not able to deal with everyone injured during the attack. Almost every ship with a working medbay had gotten flooded with patients as soon as it docked.

I sort of hated myself for taking up more of Chakwas' attention, but since my Biotics were part of what caused my injury, and since Cerberus had the chance to mess with them, I didn't want to take chances. That part of me that ran on logic instead of emotion knew that I was more important than some refugee. And I hated it for being right.

"Hmm, it looks like you might be right." She said as the scan finished. "Your implants do read differently, but the odd thing is that they don't look damaged."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they still read as being fully functional. But it looks like they've been altered somehow."

"Well, the guys that built me expected to deploy me in a lot of dangerous places. Maybe they installed redundant sets of implants." _That's as close as I'll get to telling her without spilling everything._

"That's actually rather astute. It's different overall, but some sections do seem the same."

"So, damaged parts were bypassed with the new areas?"

"As far as I can tell." She thought a moment. "I can't think of any other reasons, but all the same I'd like to run a few more tests to-"

She cut off as the medbay doors opened, and a very angry Raptor walked in.

"I can tell already there's going to be days I'll regret letting them live." She muttered.

"I take it you were talking to the council?"

"What do you think Bourne?"

Chakwas was already treating another patient, clearly able to tell she wouldn't be able to do much while we were talking.

"I think they need a boot up the ass."

Shepard glared at me

"What? You asked!"

"They want to have a meeting face to face to thank me for saving them, and saving the Citadel, etc."

I snorted. "Sounds more like they want to suck up and try to make you forget all the crap they've pulled."

"I know. I told them if they wanted to thank me, then they could thank both of us, considering that you were the one who singlehandedly killed Saren"

"Well, to be fair-"

"You also killed the AI the Reapers programmed into him that took over after he died. And you more or less killed it a third time when Sovereign took over."

_Smart cover story._ "How did they respond to that?"

"I don't know. I said they could send me an invite again when it had your name on it, then hung up on them."

I stared at her. "Who are you, and what did you do with the real Raptor?"

"I think you're just a bad influence."

I chuckled. "Well, at least those morons might finally take the hint that we-"

She cut off that line of thought very quickly. "I've tried to smooth things over until now, so I'm allowed to do that this once. You, on the other hand, need to at least try to not piss them off any further. Technically, since you lost your Spectre Status, there's all sorts of laws you've now broken."

"Which you could grant immunity for."

"Either way-"

"They're the ones that tried to arrest me because… hell, they didn't even have a real reason. One of the C-sec officers mentioned that I had apparently gone rouge like Saren, but even the Council isn't dumb enough to think I'd done that."

"Maybe it was just to try reining you in? I mean, you did basically skip out on reassignment orders."

"Maybe. But that's more Alliance business than anything to concern the Council. But… There anyone besides the council might be able to do that because they have a grudge against me?"

"Well, the second part could apply to all sorts of people."

I rolled my eyes.

"But as for who could issue orders like that to C-sec and say it was from the Council… it would have to be someone pretty high up. Probably an ambassador or-"

"Udina." I said instantly. _He's the only other powerful guy I personally have pissed off. And let's face it; I'm not very good for humanity's image, so he'd want me out of the picture anyway._

_And more than that, I know he's going to work with Cerberus in the future. And since they're the most likely suspects for the cyborg treatment, he might already be working with them._

"Udina? Yeah, I guess that would make sense if it wasn't the council."

"Either way, I say we go 'ask' them."

She gave me that familiar glare. "How about we wait for them to invite us instead of-"

"Shepard, the council just sent a message." Joker interrupted over the coms. "They want to meet with you and Bourne."

I grinned. "You were saying Shepard?"

"Since you're already injured, I'm just going to owe you later."

"So you harp on me when I employ violence or threaten people, yet you do both to me on an almost daily basis?"

She gave me that all too familiar glare.

"I'll just shut up now while I'm ahead."

"Good idea. I had your armor put in your quarters. I want you to meet me on the bridge in about 30 minutes."

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Raptor, how long do you think I need to get my armor on?"

"Just go to your quarters." She said exasperatedly. "You'll see why when you get there." She added, going into the room she shared with Liara.

_Don't even think it, because then you'll be tempted to say it. And then she'll kick my ass. _

I sighed. "Chakwas! Am I good to go or what?"

She didn't even look up from what she was doing. "I know you're leaving either way. And I would rather you didn't put me in stasis this time."

_Yeah, in hindsight, I maybe shouldn't have done that. _I bit my tongue and slipped out of the medbay.

As I walked through the mess to my quarters, I glanced at the crew. Thanks to Joker's piloting skills, the Normandy didn't even get scratched in the fighting. But you could tell just by the way the crew acted that something had happened. Most of them looked fatigued, tired, one or two were just sitting at a table and staring at their plates, not moving.

I wondered how many of them had friends or relatives on the ships I'd sent to their deaths. I tried not to dwell on, knowing that I'd do worse in the future.

I opened my door, still distracted. _I guess I can kill that time on the range or something._

Then I noticed Ashley sitting on my bed, and it was obvious she'd been waiting for me. I wasn't in the mood to hide my surprise.

We looked at each other in silence, taking in the other's appearance. She looked tired, and I could tell she'd been worrying about me.

I also saw her eyes moving over me, taking in my injuries, my now crimson hair, and the multitude of scars across my face.

"So, does it show?" I broke the silence.

"Yeah, a little bit."

It occurred to me to shut the door and lock it so we wouldn't have any interruptions.

"How are you holding up?" She asked.

I pushed down the jokes that ran through my mind. _Ash deserves more than that._ "I don't know." I said honestly. "On one hand, I helped save the Citadel, killed Saren, and killed Iron as a bonus. But we lost a lot of people too."

"I couldn't believe it when I heard you tell Joker to save the Council." There was a hint of accusation in her tone, but I didn't think it was intentional.

"Yeah, join the club." I muttered. "But I figured it was better than the alternative. Hell, even Wrex thought just letting them get killed was a bad idea."

"Depending on who you ask, you and Shepard are either the most popular or least popular humans alive at the moment."

"Oh? And which side are you on?" I asked playfully.

The question was completely rhetorical, but she answered it anyway by pulling me in for a kiss. She smiled. "That side."

"Hmm, my perfect memory seems to be failing all of a sudden, and I don't remember what just happened. Can you repeat that?"

She rolled her eyes, and the look on her face made me chuckle.

Something occurred to me all of a sudden. "Wait a minute; did Raptor somehow set this up? Because she told me to grab my gear out of my room and meet her on the bridge in half an hour. That seems like too much of a coincidence."

"Well, it's not like we talked about it. But I think she knew what I was planning."

I shrugged. "That, or she wanted some private time of her own with Liara."

"Jason…"

I sat next to her on the bed. "Just saying."

"I can see why she wants to hit you so much."

"Because she spent the night with Liara instead of me?"

She swatted me on the shoulder, but thankfully not where I was bruised.

"Wow, tough crowd."

We sat in silence for a while.

"You know Jason, you might be a bit rough around the edges, but there's a reason I'm breaking every reg in the book here."

"My charming good… well, my formerly charming good looks?"

"Don't ruin the moment."

"Sorry."

"I love you because, well-"

"You aren't going to start sprout poetry again, are you?"

"Again with ruining the moment. And sometimes other people say what I mean better than I do."

"Well, as much as I love Shakespeare- by which I mean I was forced to read his plays once- It's not some long gone poet I'm interested in. It's you."

"That managed to be both romantic and not romantic at the same time."

"It's a gift." I smiled wryly. "Honestly Ash, I don't know how we ended up together, I'm just glad that we did. You're… well… crap, now _I_ might have to resort to poetry."

"Oh no, what a nightmare." She said jokingly.

"Well, not all of us can pull it off."

"Hmm, maybe you could try the strong silent type. I know Shepard would appreciate it at least."

"Yeah, that'll happen. When Turians fly." I had a sudden involuntary image of Garrus with wings, and had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing.

"I think that's actually more likely."

"I could do if I trie- Yeah, I can't even say it without laughing."

"Maybe that sense of humor is what got me to fall for you."

"Oh? Are you sure there wasn't something else too?"

"Oh? Like what?"

I leaned in for another kiss.

A sudden knock at the door stopped me.

We looked at each other.

"I can ignore it if you want." I said.

"I wish."

"Well, it was worth a try."

I sighed and got up to answer it, while Ashley went into the bathroom, in case it was someone from the Alliance.

I opened the door, eyes glowing with barely suppressed anger. _This had better be important._

I was surprised to see Garrus._ Here I thought Joker and Iron were the professional cockblockers._ I also had to resist the urge to do something horrible to him for his timing.

"Bourne, glad to see you're healing up."

"It's amazing how much I don't believe that." I said dryly.

"Can I come in?"

"No. What do you want?"

He sighed. "Shepard filled us in on what happened on the Citadel."

"Yeah, I can already see where this is going. Iron's dead. So is Hero. Case closed."

He crossed his arms. "You'll forgive me for being skeptical."

"Only because it's deserved." I sighed. "Look, I don't expect either of you to forget what happened. But considering what we're up against, I'd rather we could stop fighting each other and save it for the Reapers."

"Tali said something similar to me."

"Why do I get the feeling you aren't going to listen?"

"You might not have done it on purpose, but everything Iron did was your fault."

_Ok, that makes it really tempting to bring on the Biotics. _I forced the urge down. _Try settling this without them first. _ "If you think I'm not fully aware of that, you're really barking up the wrong tree."

He looked at me in what was clearly confusion.

"Figure of speech." I said with a shrug. "So let me say it plain. I don't have any sort of grudge against either of you. The only ones with that particular honor are the Reapers."

I couldn't tell if he was convinced or not, but I guessed I had scored at least a few points.

"We have enough problems without the two of us being at each other's throats. You guys have those, right?"

"Don't think I'm not going to keep my eye on you Bourne. Just because you say Iron's dead, doesn't mean-"

I sighed in my head, not even listening by this point. _I'll let him rant for another couple minutes, then I'll cut him off._

"-and even if he is gone, how do you know-"

_Ok, time's up. He's keeping me away from Ashley._

I activated my Biotics, lifting him into the air. "You know, I get the gist of it, and I know it's important. But honestly, I find your lack of faith…really annoying right now."

I turned him around, and sent him across the room, setting him down at the foot of the stairs.

I shut the door and locked it again. "Some people have no sense of timing." I muttered.

"Yeah, well, a lot of people would say the same about you Jason."

"Yeah, good point."

"So, where were we?"

I wrapped my arms around her, leaning in again.

Shepard's voice suddenly sounded in my earpiece. "Bourne, the council's impatient now. They want us there five minutes from now."

I fought back a curse. I pulled away from Ashley and activated my own radio . "That's _their_ problem. I'm busy right now."

I heard her taking a deep breath. "Bourne, I'm also annoyed over this turn of events. I gave you that half hour so _I_ could have my _own_ half hour to relax. So maybe you should get up there before I make it _your _problem."

"Oh, I get it. They interrupted you and your girlfriend?"

"Shut up, get your armor on, and meet me up there!"

"That means 'yes', Raptor. You could have played it off, but instead-"

"Do you really want to go to the hospital again?"

"Yeah, good point. Visiting sick friends always sucks."

"Jason, so help me god, I will-"

I cut the line. "I'm going to pay for that later, but I think it was worth it."

Ashley sighed. "You should probably go before she decides to-"

A sudden banging on the door cut her off. "Bourne! Get out here!"

"Before she does that."

I sighed.

"Go do what you need to do, Jason."

"Yeah, I guess I sort of have to. Otherwise I think she just might decide to blow the door down with a grenade."

I grabbed my gear and started putting it on.

"Bourne, you better be out here in 60 seconds."

"Patience is a virtue, Shepard!" I yelled back.

"So is self-preservation! And right now, you don't seem to have much!"

"Touché."

* * *

><p><strong>Should be two more chapters, including the epilogue. Which I will have up soon, I promise. And I mean it this time, not just jinxing myself. <strong>

**See you soon.**


	82. Stupidity in all Forms

**This is the last chapter of this story. Well, not including the epilogue, but you'll have to wait on that one. **

**Once the rewrites are done, then I'll post that. I figure that's a good way to tie it all together and make sure everything fits the new continuity since I can just go through the whole thing. At least, it makes sense to me. But then again, Iron has to come from somewhere.**

**Then comes part II.**

**I don't own Mass Effect. If I did, all three games would have a good boss fight instead of only the second game having one.**

* * *

><p>"Bourne, you're doing it again."<p>

I glanced down and my hands, and saw they'd clenched into fists for the seventh time in as many minutes; My nails would've been digging into my skin if I hadn't been wearing gloves. _Deep breath, Bourne. Deep breath. _ It worked for a moment. Then they clenched back as I thought out how the whole confrontation might go.

Raptor sighed, apparently giving up. "Tell you what. You can imagine doing whatever you want to the council, as long as you don't do it in real life."

"Fine… Wait, what if it doesn't technically hurt them? I mean, we're meeting them on the presidium right?"

"Do I even want to know what you mean by that?"

"Hello? There's that lake right there, I'm a Biotic, do you seriously not see…Wait, crap, Turians can't swim. Damnit, and he's the one I really wanted to do something to."

She glared at me.

"Oh come on, no one else is here, you can admit that you also think he's an ass." _For god sakes, even Hero did, and she was- _I stopped mid thought, struck by how casually I had accepted that she was dead.

_Would I be so calm if it was Raptor? _

Unaware of my thoughts, she rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should just let me do the talking."

I pushed the unwanted thought down. "Depends on what the talking's about."

I sighed, refocusing myself. "Alright, here's the important bit. They're going to offer humanity a seat on the council, which of course Udina is bound to accept on behalf of the Alliance."

Raptor looked at me with interest.

"But letting him get his claws in would be a bad thing."

"So then-"

"But, if you recommend Anderson, based on the fact that we need someone familiar with war considering the tough times ahead, or some crap like that, he'd be the much better candidate. And it'd sound a lot more convincing coming from you than from me."

"Probably."

I looked at her with an amused expression. "You know, you don't have to agree that fast."

She looked like she was fighting a smile. "So, anything else you can tell me?"

"Not anything helpful here." I glanced out the window of the aircar, looking at the lake below us as we got closer to the presidium. "And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about what they'll end up doing with me.

Raptor shook her head. "Relax Jason. Even if they try to arrest you, like you said, I can grant you immunity."

"Yeah, but on reflection, I don't know how that works when it's the council that's trying the arresting."

"True, but since we just saved their lives… hell, you were the one that issued the order to Joker."

I paused, replaying that in my head. "Please do me a favor and never remind me of that again. I'd rather fool myself into believing I just told you to do it."

"You get my point."

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess that might count for something. I hope so, now that I'm probably going to have nightmares about it for the rest of my life."

She -understandably- ignored that comment. "Worse thing that'll happen is you won't get your Spectre Status back, you'll get kicked out of the Alliance, and then I can just hire you as a freelance like Wrex or Garrus."

I chuckled. "And you wouldn't outrank me either."

She glared at me.

"Oh come on, when do I ever act like you do anyway?"

She glared at me even more harshly.

_Ok, I really put my foot in my mouth on that one. _ _And now she's staring at me like…_"You're mentally punching me, aren't you?"

"Repeatedly."

"Geez, save some of it for the Council."

"Oh, I will, don't worry."

"Mad that your Liara time got cut short?"

"Bourne, if you keep talking, I might forget that you're actually my friend."

I bit my tongue to keep from reminding her that I was a Biotic. Or saying anything else that might shorten my lifespan.

She shook her head. "It's a good thing we're almost there. Then I can direct some of this frustration at them instead of you."

"Yeah, I like that plan better."

"Glad to see your sense of self-preservation is better than it was earlier."

"Your patience, on the other hand, could still use some work."

"Yeah, forget I mentioned it. I was clearly wrong."

"You are such a…" _On second thought, bad idea. _ "good person."

She chuckled. "You're learning. And it only took you what, a couple months?"

I leaned against the back of my seat and didn't say anything for the rest of the trip. But my mind still raced, mostly trying to decide what to do about Udina.

The Council was made of idiots, but he was an idiotic ambitious prick._ Not to mention, future terrorist, and perhaps a current terrorist. _

For a moment, I actually tried to figure out how events would play out if I killed him. His role in the next two years was minimal at best. There was plenty of other politicians to replace him. Beyond that, _Well, Anderson might not step down from the council because there'd be no one to replace him. Which would mean he wouldn't be on earth to lead the resistance against the Reapers. _

_Too risky. _

And as I thought it through more, I realized that shooting him would be a bad idea on every level. _I don't have proof he's even working for Cerberus yet. And even if he is, the chances of me actually being able to get them to arrest him are shaky at best. And then Mr. Illusive could either pull some strings to get him out, or they'd have to let him go because there'd be no evidence because he hasn't actually joined them yet._

_Argh, I couldn't even tell them how I know! Shepard would believe me of course, but everyone else would think I was insane. Well, who knows, they might already think I am. But that wouldn't help the situation if that's the case._

_And if Udina is working for Cerberus, then the info would get back to his boss, which would put me in the position I've tried to avoid._

I shook my head. _Alright, you live this time Udina. But I swear to whatever god there is, the first time I see you during the coup, I will put a knife straight through your eye. And if that doesn't kill you, I'll put a knife through your other eye, then warp your whole damn head off._

I took a deep breath, actually feeling much calmer. _Huh, maybe Shepard's on to something with that whole "Imagine what you want do to them but don't do it in real life" thing. I actually feel a little better now._

* * *

><p>We landed not far from where we were meeting, but there was still a bit of a walk. Luckily, I did get some satisfaction out of hearing Udina bitching about Shepard being late.<p>

I sped up just enough that I got there before Shepard did. His back was to me, so sneaking up on him was no problem at all.

"I don't see why they even need to be here for this meeting. This is a political matter, not a military matter."

"Yeah, well, wasn't your last political action to try to ground the Normandy? And basically allow Saren's attack to succeed?"

The look on his face when he turned around to face me was priceless. The way he jumped back a couple of feet was even more so.

"So with that in mind, maybe you should save the political bullshit for later, when my patience isn't bottomed out."

Shepard walked up next to me. "Bourne, you said you'd let me do the talking."

"No I didn't. You said that, and I didn't bother to correct you."

She glared at me, then turned her attention to the council.

"Wait a moment, this is supposed to be Bourne?" Udina said. "Then explain-"

"Why I have red hair and a few new scars? I got them cleaning up after the mess you idiots ended up creating." There was a hint of anger that I couldn't erase.

"What did you just say?" The Turian said angrily.

"Ears are one of the few things I'm positive Turians actually have, So maybe you should learn to use them. If you'd listened to Shepard and I, then maybe there wouldn't be a few thousand corpses floating around out there." I said matter of factly, face emotionless.

"With an attack of such magnitude, there would have still been casualties." The Asari pointed out, cutting off the Turian's reply. She shot him what I'd learned from Raptor was a "shut up" look.

"Probably." I agreed. "But there's a difference. They wouldn't have had to sacrifice themselves to save you, because you could have evacuated long before. Instead, you waited until the last possible second. If it had been done sooner, their deaths would have been caused by Sovereign and Saren. But because you couldn't see sense, every single death today is on your head."

Even for a near novice at reading Aliens, I could tell that they were caught completely off guard by that last comment.

Udina stepped between us, making me question his sanity. "Perhaps since Bourne insists on placing blame, we should talk about his own actions." The way he suddenly backed up a few steps from me- despite me not doing anything- made me suspect that Shepard was giving him a death glare from behind me.

"You mean the part where he helped me save the Citadel, the part where he saved the Council, or the part where he killed Saren?" Raptor said, confirming my suspicion.

"I am referring to the fact that he ignored reassignment orders, resisted arrest, and-"

I cut him off by putting him in stasis. "Three things Udina. First off, I never actually got those reassignment orders, so there's not much you can do about that. Secondly, on what grounds was there even a warrant for my arrest? And thirdly, unless you're interested in going for a swim in that lake, I'd really suggest you knock off the political bullcrap."

I let him go, and he backed up again.

"You have a real talent for words Lieutenant." Anderson commented. "And let me add that if Bourne hadn't disobeyed orders, we'd all be dead right now."

Udina turned to him, still keeping a wary eye on me. "Let's all settle down here Captain. I'd like to end this meeting with my teeth still intact."

Shepard stepped up next to me, shooting me a look that clearly said not to knock all his teeth out myself. Not that I blamed her; it was getting pretty tempting. "Bourne does have a very good point about those arrest orders though."

"What arrest orders are you talking about?" The Turian asked. "Udina assured us that he would handle this by reassigning you."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know which is dumber. That he thought it would work, or that you believed him."

"You're saying the council didn't issue arrest orders for Bourne?" Shepard interrupted.

"We did no such thing." He asserted.

I glanced at Udina. "Well, if it wasn't the Council, it would still have to be someone pretty high up."

Udina didn't even flinch, much to my disappointment. "Then there should be a formal investigation. But in light of events, perhaps that can wait."

_Because it was you that did it. You're going to erase any evidence before any investigation starts._

Shepard cleared her throat. "How about I just clear Bourne on Spectre Authority and put the matter behind us?"

I glanced again at Udina. "I can live with that. For now." _Translation: I can wait a couple years Udina. Then you'll pay for this, along with a few other things. _

"We are not completely ungrateful Bourne." The Turian said. "Our original purpose was to honor those who perished in the battle, including your own kind."

I was tempted to through their own stupidity in their faces again, but judging by the way Shepard was glaring at me when they weren't looking, I was already on thin ice.

"As you said Bourne, many humans lost their lives in the battle to save the Citadel." The Salarian said, apparently picking up where there rehearsed speech would be if I hadn't shattered it already. "Brave and courageous soldiers who willingly gave their lives so that the Council might live."

_To say nothing of the fact that I gave the order, despite all the ways you morons have screwed up. And especially considering how tempting it was to let you die. Yeah, maybe best not to mention that last part._

"There is no greater sacrifice, and we share your grief over the tragic loss of so many noble soldiers." The Turian said.

I decided it was better not to comment on that one, out loud or in my head.

"And we also owe you a great personal debt Commander. One we can never repay. By defeating Soveriegn, you saved Billions of lives." The asari agreed.

Shepard cut her off. "It's not just me you owe. Bourne is the one that actually killed Soveriegn, and the one that convinced me to save you."

_I know she's trying to help me out, but I almost would have preferred being arrested to having that become general knowledge._

The council members glanced among themselves._ Guess they weren't expecting that._

"And if you can't see that, then I guess humanity doesn't 'deserve' the 'honors' of having a position among the Spectres."

Udina actually blanched. "Shepard, while I… admire your loyalty to your crew, this is absurd. If you were to just disown the Council after saving them, it would completely undermine everything they stand for."

She smiled. "Well then, maybe you should think of a way to change my mind."

_What a devious little… I know just about everything about everything, and I wouldn't have been able to pull something like that half as well! My method would have probably just involved threatening them all. Except for Udina and the Turian. With them I probably would've followed through on the threat anyway._

The Turian sighed. "Very well. Lieutenant Bourne, we hereby reinstate you as a Spectre."

I couldn't hold back a smile, both from satisfaction, and at the irony considering my line of thought. "Any chance of getting bumped up a rank too? I think "Commander Bourne" would have a very nice- Oww!" I rubbed the back of my head where Shepard had smacked me.

"Don't push it Bourne." Raptor advised. "Besides, like you said, when has my rank really mattered to you?"

"… Is there any possible way I can answer that question without you punching me again?"

"You could play up your injuries."

"You know, sometimes I think you actually enjoy my suffering."

She glared at me.

I turned back to the Council. "So, do you want to continue that speech, or can you just some it up so I don't fall asleep?"

"I'd hit you for that one too, but that was so completely over the top that I'm impressed."

"It's a gift."

The asari looked at us strangely. "While, we have no policy against it, I would voice my disproval of a relationship between two Spectres."

Shepard and I just looked at each other.

"Am I really that good looking that everyone assumes you'd hit on me?"

"I think they assume I'd take pity on you and give you a chance."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I can just see us in a relationship. About after hell freezes over, thaws out, and then freezes again."

The council looked at me in confusion.

"Or to put it more simply, we're just friends. One of whom tends to get punched by the other."

"Only when you deserve it Bourne."

I kept my poker face in place. Though in my head, I may have stuck my tongue out at her.

The Salarian shook his head. "To cut to the root of the matter, there are tough times ahead, and the Council will need Humanity's strength. We've come to realize what we thought made you dangerous, actually makes you strong."

Udina spoke up, apparently dumb enough to not have gotten over his fear of Shepard and I. "As the Alliance ambassador, I accept your offer. Humanity will join its strength to yours. We will take a seat on the Council."

"We will need a list of potential candidates."

The asari looked at Shepard and I. "Given all that has happened, and considering the contributions you have made, I am sure your recommendations will carry much weight. Do you support any particular candidate?"

Raptor glanced at me, then turned back to the Council. "Udina would do anything to support human interests."

_If she nominates him, there is no god. And I I'm pretty sure someone here will end up dead. _

Udina stepped forward. "I would be honored to-" Shepard cut him off with one furious glare.

"Including stabbing his allies in the back."

_Oh, I get it. I think. I get the feeling trying to figure out what any women is thinking would get me hurt. Doubly so for her._

"We need someone with the courage to stand up for what he believes in. Someone like Captain Anderson."

"Seconded." I agreed. _Mostly because the alternative is a terrorist._

"Him? The only person I'd agree with less would be Bourne!" Udina exploded.

I looked at Shepard. "So, how would that Spectre immunity thing work if I shot him right now?"

"It might protect you from the law, but it would not protect you from me."

"What about just punching him?"

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Pushing your luck."

Udina laughed. "Oh, I see. You're joking."

I looked at him with a perfect poker face. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

"Anderson's no politician! He prefers to let his fists do the talking!"

"You do remember who you're talking to right? Because if that was an attempt to dissuade me, you might want to rethink your strategy."

"I only 'let my fists do the talking' with you ambassador." Anderson said with a small smile.

"See? The more I hear about this idea, the more I think it's a good one."

"You're insane." Udina told me. Personally, for telling me that to my face, I'd have made the same argument about him. "He's a soldier, not a politician."

I abandoned any attempt to be subtle. "If I have to put you in a coma to keep you out of the job, I would. I'd rather have someone on the Council that doesn't stab their allies in the back."

I paused, then glanced at Shepard over my shoulder.

"What? If I disagreed, I'd have said something. Granted, I wouldn't have put it quite like that…"

"I really am a bad influence."

She rolled her eyes, and turned back to the council.

"I think it's an inspired choice." The Asari said. "The Council would welcome him with open arms, should he accept."

He nodded. "It's an honor counselor. I'll do everything in my power to help the Council rebuild."

"Then perhaps with Soveriegn's defeat, this marks a new era for all of our species." The Turian said.

I flared my Biotics. "Did I not just call you idiots multiple times for not listening to us about Sovereign? Let me remind you about the other part you didn't listen to: There's a whole lot of other Reapers out there."

I cut off their objections with a wave of my glowing hand. "Even if you morons don't believe it, I don't care. I've seen more than enough that I know. And one or another, I'm going to find a way to stop them."

Shepard shook her head. "Good thing I'm coming along for the ride too. Someone has to watch your back."

The Turian glanced at the rest of the Council. "Typically Spectres operate alone-"

"Yeah, well typically Spectres don't save the entire damn Citadel." I retorted. "And look at this way: Do you really want me operating without her to keep me in line?"

"Do I look like a baby sitter Bourne?"

"I'm just going to let that one go."

She shook her head. "Come on, let's head back to the Normandy-"

"So you can get back to what you were doing? Or I should say "Who" you were doing."

Her face turned red. "I'll give you a five second head start because you're my friend."

"Well, with friends like us, who needs enemies?"

I saw her raising a fist, and my biotics activated on instinct.

Suddenly, everything I'd been looking at seemed much smaller. It took me a moment to realize I was now a good 40 feet away from them. I glanced at my still glowing hands, and focused on a spot next to Shepard.

Suddenly, I was over there again. _Hmm, that's new. So much for Iron's 'you can't charge without me' theory._

Shepard looked at me oddly. "Isn't doing that what caused you to break your… everything?"

"Let's just say I'm a little tougher now than I was when that happened."

"Good."

I charged a few feet to the right as she swung, and I couldn't hold back a smile.

"I thought you said you were tougher now." She said with irritation.

"I am. I'm just not dumb enough to let one of those connect again." I smiled. "See you back at the shuttle."

I looked back the way we came, and covered the distance in just an instant. _I can already tell I'm going to like this ability. _

I heard Shepard sigh over the radio. "I can tell already that's going to get annoying fast."

"Wow, jealous much?"

"Jealous about what? Having to eat a hundred pounds of food in one meal?"

"I do not do that nearly as often as most Biotics."

"You did it yesterday"

"Yeah, because I knew I'd end up having to pull you out of the fire."

"That's not how I'd remember it."

"As I recall, I'm the one that killed Saren. Thrice."

"And as I recall, I had to pull you out the rubble."

I rolled my eyes. "How long is it going to take for you to get here?"

"Depends. If you stop talking, I might calm down and not want to kick your ass so badly, so I won't hurry."

I just chuckled. "So then, why didn't you jump on the chance to go solo and get away from me?"

The line went dead silent.

I smiled and got in the skycar.

"Because nobody else would put up with you." She finally answered.

"Uh huh. I'm sure that's the only reason. Didn't you say something about being worried about me back at the hospital?"

"You were serious when you said you'd never let that go, weren't you." It sounded less like a question, and more like quiet resignation.

"Nope. Now can you get hurry up? You aren't the only one with a girlfriend waiting for you."

"Good point."

"Ah hah! You admitted that she's your girlfriend!"

"Would you prefer I call her my friend with benefits?"

"… Thank you Shepard. Another image my perfect memory will never let me forget."

"You're welcome."

I cut the radio and leaned back in my chair. _Just keep your sanity another couple of minutes, then you can go back to Ashley._

But deep down, I knew it wasn't that simple. Shepard now had less than a month to live. Perhaps my own days were numbered as well.

And either way, I might lose Ashley soon enough. Either through my own death and alliance with Cerberus, or because I wouldn't be able to waste those two years doing nothing.

It was a bitter thought, and I wanted to force it down. But I knew that wouldn't make the issue disappear. If I had to lose Ashley for a short time in order to save all life in existence, that was a sacrifice I could make. Not one I could like, or ever be able to forgive myself for, but one I would make if I had to.

_I still have at least a month though. And I'll be damned if I'm going to waste it._

The door opened and Shepard got in.

"So, are you still traumatized?"

"Despite your best efforts, no."

"Good."

She sat down, and smacked me in the back of the head. "Then I don't feel guilty about doing that."

"Note to self, never get near an angry Raptor if there isn't a clear path to charge out."

She shook her head. "You know, besides Liara, you're the only person to call me that."

"Well, you're the only person besides Ash who's ever called me Jason."

She shrugged. "Well, I don't know how much you remember, but when you were trying to die on me, you said something about how just using our last names tended to separate us."

"Yeah, I guess after all the crap we've been through together, it is sort of weird to just call you by your last name."

"True, but since I have no idea what my real first name actually is…"

"Yeah, but it does sort of suit you. Did you ever see that old vid Jurassic Park? Even I wouldn't want to fight a pack of velociraptors. They're smart, work as part of a team, and if you cross one it'll tear your head off."

"I'm just going to take that as a compliment." She said with wry smile.

"Well, it's either that, or turn your last name into something. 'How's it going Shep?'"

"No." She said curtly.

_Well, be interesting to see how Kasumi handles that then. _"Have it your way Raptor."

"Don't push it Jason." She was smiling when she said it though.

"When have I ever done that?"

"You're the one with perfect memory, not me. But I can think of a few examples."

"Only a few?"

She shook her head. "How long until we get back to the Normandy."

"If I wasn't worried about sounding hypocritical, I'd say-"

"If you don't want to sound like a hypocrite, don't say it."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, good point. I think you're… going to hit me if I finished that sentence the way I did in my head."

"You know, saying that might lead me to do it anyway."

"Oh admit, your day wouldn't be half as interesting without me around."

She smiled. "Ok, good point. It would be a lot quieter though."

"Depends on how much you and Liara-" She didn't even wait for me to finish the sentence. I fought back the urge to put her in stasis as I rubbed the back of my head.

"Yep, it wouldn't be half as fun if I couldn't do that several times a day." She said, leaning back in her chair.

"That's what Liara said."

She turned and glared at me.

"Ok, should I try apologizing, or will anything short of a stasis save me?"

"The only reason you are still conscious is because I don't want to waste time washing your blood off first."

"The secondary meaning being that you've had a long day and I should shut up?"

"It's sad that you understand that, but you still keep pushing your luck."

"Hey, someone has to keep your job from getting boring."

"Yesterday I was repeatedly shot at, got stuck speaking another language, got shot at some more, had to fight off a cybernetic reanimated corpse, and then my best friend almost died on me. Right now, I wouldn't mind boring."

I chuckled. "If I'm your best friend, I'd hate to see how you treat acquaintances."

"Would I let anyone else get away with lines like that?"

"Good point. And… I guess I'd call you my best friend too." I fought down the thought that I wasn't telling her about her upcoming death. _It's because she's my friend that I'm not telling her. _

_But if I don't, would she ever trust me again?_

I hesitated, then made a decision. "Hey, Shepard?"

The skycar suddenly decelerated to a stop in the Normandy's landing bay, and the door popped open.

"What Bourne?" She said as she stood up to get out. "As you'd be quick to point out, I have things I want to do right now."

I shook my head. "Never mind, it's stupid." _ Now isn't the time. Telling her would mean burdening Liara too. Bad enough that she'll have to suffer through it without knowing, but if they knew, they might try to change events. And that would only end badly. _

_Let Shepard have her happiness now. I can always tell her another time._

But as I watched her enter the airlock, I wondered if there would ever be a right time.

* * *

><p><strong>And, almost Fin. Not quite done yet. <strong>

**You might just have to wait a little while for what's next. But trust me; I have a few surprises up my sleeve. It'll be worth the wait.**

**Look on the Brightside. No cliffhanger this time. **

**Then again, there is still that epilogue…**


	83. New version is now up

**Alright, if you're reading this, you've either been reading this story a long time and waiting for the ending, or you just read through this entire story and are now wondering why this isn't an epilogue of some kind.**

**As of now, this story is Dead. **

**Did I scare you with that wording? I suppose I should say that this ****version ****of this story is dead, because honestly, I've become a much better writer since I...well, wrote it. **

**And due to that, I've been completely rewriting this story, into a version that you should be reading instead. **

**So, what are you still here for? Don't you want to know what happens? *Insert Shameless Self Promotion Here.***


	84. Final Note for this Story

This is the last time I'm going to post anything on this story. If you've been keeping up with the rewritten version, you don't need to keep reading. For those of you who've been ignoring the rewrite while waiting for me to finish it, this message is for you.

The Epilogue is up on the new version- or at least I'm uploading it at the same time as I am this, so if it's not visible, it should be within a few hours or so.

That's announcement one. The other, is that on Friday, I'll be uploading the first chapter of the next story in the series- which is not a sequel. It's a crossover with Starspike7's fic "Users." Think of it as SiaWoF 1.5.

Anyway, that's all.


End file.
